Losing weight can be hard, and when it comes to prioritizing your health and feeling confident and strong, it can be difficult to know where to start. Now you can get your health in check and be confident that you're on the right track to getting healthy through hers. Hymns and Hurts is changing women's health care by providing access to GLP1 weekly injections with the same active ingredient as those epic in wagovii, as well as oral medication kits. Weight loss by Hymns and Hurts is realistic, it's not restrictive, and it's focused on giving you access to the solution that is right for you. So you've been struggling with your weight loss journey, it's time you find an option that works for you, with Hymns and Hurts. Start your free online visit today at forhers.com/crapid. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/crapids for your personalized weight loss treatment options. Forhers.com/crapid. Hurts weight loss is not available everywhere, compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required restrictions apply. Unlock your imagination with Audible. When you listen to audio content, your mind is free to paint the scenes and feel the emotions of a great story. Audible's extensive catalog is short to have titles that you'll enjoy, immerse yourself in captivating tales, learn from world-renowned experts, and discover new perspectives all while multitasking or relaxing. There's more to imagine when you listen, and one title that I've been listening to is my friend Neil J. Young's coming out Republican, which talks about the history of gay Republicans. It's super fascinating and super interesting. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com/crapids or text crapids to 500-500. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio. For a free trial and 10% off, go to squarespace.com/watchwickcrapids and use the offer code CRAP8. I bought my own website recently before I knew about Squarespace and it was a total pain, I had to learn all this coding, all this HTML, it was one of the hardest things in my life. The remaining follicles I had left on the top of my head are now gone. So thanks a lot internet. But thanks to Squarespace, it's all easy and now I can build a whole empire, an empire of websites you guys. Squarespace is constantly improving their platform with new features, new designs, and even better support. They have beautiful designs for you to start with, and all the style options you need to create a unique website for you or your business. Did you hear that? No coding, point, and click. It is incredibly easy to use, but if you do need some help, Squarespace has an amazing support team that works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That's right, like the emergency line, it's like you're calling 911, they are always there for you. It starts at just $8 a month, it includes a free domain name if you sign up for a year, and every design automatically includes a unique mobile experience, it matches the overall style of your website, so your content will look great on every device every time, you're not going to have to build a separate site for that, like most of us fools have to do. Start a trial with no credit card required and start building your website. When you decide to sign up for Squarespace, make sure to use the offer code CRAP8 to get 10% off and to show your support for us. We thank Squarespace for their support of Watch what crap ends, and you guys remember Squarespace, everything you need to create an exceptional website. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crap ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love so dearly. I'm Ben Madelker from BesideBlog.com, you can find me at BesideBlog on all the social networks, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, and joining me as usual, we've got Matt Woodfield from Yahoo. Hey Matt, what's going on? Hey Ben, how are you? I'm great, thanks. Matt can be found @LifeOnTheMList on all his social media platforms, including Twitter and Instagram, and also Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV. What's up? Ronnie. Hi. Hi. Ronnie can be found @TrashTweetTV on Twitter, and Ronnie Karam on Instagram, and... No, actually on Instagram, TrashTweetTV, and then on YouTube at Trash Talk. Instagram Trash Talk TV and YouTube Trash Talk TV, but it's spelled T-E-E-V-E on YouTube. And the best part about Ronnie today is that he's standing in front of something circular, which makes him look like he's got a Jesus halo around his head. I do. I totally earned it. Hey guys. Because I've always been really nice to hookers, and I drink a lot of wine. So most importantly, more so than our own personal social media things is that you should follow us on Facebook, facebook.com/watchmorecrapins. There's so much activity going on on that Facebook page, and a lot of it spills over back onto this podcast. And in fact, we're doing this podcast live over the internets with video, so you should also subscribe to us, youtube.com/thetvclick, where you could follow and see our pretty faces, because if you're just listening to us on iTunes, you're only getting half the story and half the fun. And by the way, that is click as in CLIQUE, not CLICK. Yes, we are doing a play on words, because we're so, oh, so clever. All right, have I taken care of all of the housekeeping for today? Yeah. I was going to say, if you say housekeeping, you're going to be a good person. What do you have to say the proper way? Housekeeping, like Daisy? Yes, like Daisy. Like Daisy and French maids have a bit. Wow, we have so much bravo to see me to talk about. I don't even know what we're going to even brooch today, but I know so much. I'm looking at the YouTube page right now. People have been posting like crazy on the YouTube page this week, which is awesome, because I have not been keeping up with my news, other than coming to our own Facebook page. So that's really handy, but the below deck crew has got like a new mugshot every time I come on this Facebook page. Oh, really? Who is today is Samantha. She's the one who looks like Dexter's sister with like a big dikey face. And she made a mugshot photo from a DUI hit and run charges in 2006. Whoops. Which is really messed up because didn't her brother or didn't her sister die? I mean, there was something really emotional a few weeks ago in that show, and I believe that her sister died at the hands of like a drunk driver. Maybe her. Hope that's not the same thing. No, no, no, it's not. It's not involved. I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't at her hands, but I just think it's really messed up that, you know, that happened to their family twice. Luckily, she survived. Yeah. Geez. Drinking and driving guys. Don't do it. And then the girl only acceptable to drink and yacht. That's the only time you're able to mix drinking with a transportation method of. And then the girl who's kind of like the boss of everybody, she's kind of got to stick up her ass. She's got one looking like a meth dealer. And then. But did you hear that story? That story is crazy. So the story with that one, her name is Adrienne. She said that she was a roofied in a bar and she doesn't remember this, but after she was roofied, she wasn't, I don't think anything really terrible happened to her, but she was put in a cab or she found her way into a cab. And then apparently she went crazy and beat the shit out of the cab driver. And that's how she got arrested, but she's blaming the person who roofied her who she cannot determine who that is. Oh my God. Well, what kind of roofie gives you that face? I don't know. But at the end of the day, I just think that's why you take Uber and not a cab. And by the way, that's the worst fake alibi of all time. You want an alibi where you can point to the person and have be like, I was with this person, not like, oh, I was roofied. So I can't remember my own alibi. Yeah. Roofie is like the worst alibi ever. Haven't you guys seen that Jane Fonda movie where she cluked or she's a hooker and she wakes up and there's some dead guy? You can't just go to the police and be like, I'm a drunk hooker and I woke up next to a dead guy. You got a run. Who's Jane Fonda? Jane Fonda is one of the stars of the butler. He's kidding. He's totally kidding. I know Jane Fonda is, but I don't know what Clute is. I know what Clute is. I never saw it, though. Hey, man. Get a Clute. Get a Clute, dude. Yeah. I do want to show you this. Check this. This is her picture. Look. I'm just doing this because we're on video, but yeah, you see meth face and then they have another picture of a guy last week from one of the cast members and he's much like, he's like winking. He's like, hey, it's got to be CJ. I saw it. I saw it. That was CJ, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's a prick. I feel so much less pathetic than you because I don't know any of their names. You guys are bigger losers than me. Isn't it crazy that I know their names now? I've started to watch. I actually really enjoy it. We are not the only three people watching this show. The ratings are massive and it's actually doing better than the Real Housewives of Miami. No. Sorry. Break it to you. Well, Miami's ratings will pick up. I'm sure. Yeah. In your dreams. Okay. Before we get into the Real Housewives of Miami, Orange County and Jersey and all the other shit on Bravo, we should probably talk gossip. There is so much of it this week. I posted a lot of it on our Facebook page. A lot was actually coming out today. I would like to start with your guy's favorite, Kim Zolciak, who announced yesterday that she is pregnant with twins. This woman knows how to lock down a man. I'm telling you. You know, it's like on the rest of development. That one gets pregnant. She stays pregnant. Okay. She's got to lock it down. She knows what to do with that. Croy Bierman. She's like a toy box. She's like a toy box that people stick wiener's in. I'm not going to deny that, but I mean, more so than ever before, like Nini's quote from season one, Real Housewives of Atlanta, it makes so much sense today. Close your legs to married men, even if it's your own husband. You know what? She's a fertile Myrtle, and I think that she's trying to make up for the fact that like on every single Bravo show, there was always a story about someone who can't have a baby. So she's like, well, I got to make up for it. We got to like balance these odds. Do you think she's going to do you think she might like start selling her babies to Lisa Hoxstein for some extra cash? No. Well, I mean, she should say. Maybe she's Lisa's surrogate. That's so wrong. They both do both. No, Thomas Kramer. They do. Shut up. Shut up. I said that so vociferously that I think the spit actually went and hit Ronnie through the internet. It messed up his head on this guitar that I never used. Oh, wait. So you really don't have a halo. Oh, he's lost his halo. Okay. So I have more questions. Yeah. So if you were Kim's daughters, you know, we keep going back to what is her name? Brianna are real, Brielle, Brielle who loves her some Chick-fil-A and what's the chunkier one? Brianna Ariana Ariana Ariana Ariana love me some sweet Ariana, especially when she's getting pushed into the pool by her mother, but anyway, so those two girls already have separate fathers. Now, Croy has fathered two sons and now Kim is pregnant with her fifth and sixth child. So if you're Brielle, Brielle, we already knew was going to be on a poll before, you know, she's the name, the name, the name of the Gatica, you know, it's like, you already know your future based on your DNA. Well, you've been named Brielle. We already know your future since you were a baby. Right. You'll be swinging next to a girl named Misty in a few weeks, but like what do you think their take is? I mean, I think that those girls are happy that Croy in a way like saved their family because he's rich. Yeah. And they don't need to rely on big papa, but at the same time, I'd be like, Mom, can you please stop making children? Because now the inheritance is getting smaller and smaller with the child to pop out. That's what Brielle is going to think. Brielle is going to be mad because she's not getting attention. She's mad. They're all these like rugrats around. She's losing her inheritance. Ariana is an angel from heaven and she's a nurturing little soul. And she is going to take care of all these babies, like the mother that her mom can't even be. And she's going to love every second of it. God bless Ariana. I think she should have a play date with Danielle Stobbs, a little younger daughter, and they can sing songs together about how they are overlooked by all their siblings. I would watch that in a heartbeat. I would absolutely watch that. You guys. The other news out of the Kim Zolciak world this week is that she was shooting with sweetie. And I'm led to believe that this means that Kim is maybe also coming back to R-H-O-A this year and not just doing her own spin-off. No. But why does sweetie indicate that? Why does that have anything to do with her coming back? Because my dreams want Kim and sweetie back on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I think it sounds more like sweetie is going to be on Kim's stupid show. Well, thank you for crushing my dreams. Sorry. I just had to like speak logically for a second there. I'm shaking a pencil. For people who are listening, I'm shaking a pencil. Showing Matt. Showing Matt my logic. Yeah, as you know, I think Kim Zolciak is a total trash. I have no interest in her. So sorry. I have nothing to say about her. You know, I can't stand. I can't stand. You guys. She's got a woman with a view. I like this woman as crazy and awful as she is. She has good parts. She has good parts, particularly her ovaries, but I know she's a lot of bad parts too. Okay. I'm going to bring up a few other topics here before we get into the shows. I'm going to start with the shows that are not on the air right now before segueing into the more relevant stuff. I posted this on our Facebook page, but Gigi, the psychotic star of Shah's of Sunset, apparently recently broke up with her boyfriend, and he has placed a restraining order against her because he fears for his life and his family's lives because of her love for weaponry. And then I hope that when the restraining order runs out, he's going to get a Gigi restraining order extension. I think the real reason why he wants her restraining order is because she's being the worst beard of all time. He's like, "Yo, I finally got this sweet-ass guy coming over. You got to stay out of here. You got to go, girl. You got to go." Well, actually part of it. Is this that guy? No, no, no. It's different. No, no, no, no. It's not Omid. She's not Omid? No, she broke up with Omid a while ago. Yes. This is another guy. Yes. Omid's on the market. Well, here's the thing. This other guy that she was with part of the deal with the restraining order is he says that she also threatened his sexuality by meaning that she suggested that he was gay when he's not. But I think clearly that's the kind of guy she goes for. I thought of men like she was going to chop off his nuts with one of her knives. I'm sure she did that on the first date. I mean, that's like instead of going to the macaroni grill on a first date, she just chops off their nuts. I think it's the kebab grill, let's be honest. Oh, let's be honest. It's the kebab grill. How dare I. It's the kebab factory. The cheese kebab factory. It's the dry cookie warehouse. Red kebabster. Okay. I would totally go to Red kebabster, by the way, I would totally go. This is like a recurring thing for you because last week you were singing the praises of Red Lobster. So I love Red Lobster. Do you know what I got going on here? Some Scrims. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. It's Narch card. It's McDonald's. What is with you in McDonald's? How could you lose all that weight and buy a tank top and have all this McDonald's? It just doesn't. I'm not eating that much. Okay. I'm not making that much. Eating that much McDonald's. And the way I lost weight this recently, I lost seven pounds because I shot my ass out with whatever it was that guy. You were disgusting. You were disgusting. And don't try to claim that you were roofy to Fubar. I was. And then I attacked a taxi driver when he wouldn't take me to McDonald's. I have tried so hard to get food poisoning. I've made out with gross guys. I've eaten food that I've left out on the counter for days. Nothing. I just keep getting fatter. Oh, man. I'll tell you one thing. This thing cleared me out. I was trying for a long time to get rid of what I gained in Hawaii. And finally, got some wicked ass food poisoning. Well, I wish you had saved me a little. Sorry. I'll save you a little food poisoning. Okay. Moving on because I'm just a top chef masters, each of you love? Not yet. Top chef masters. I'm moving on to the news today that not Teresa, but Melissa and Joe Gorga finally sold that shit shack of theirs for $3.8 million, which was the asking price. And they are moving from their township in Jersey to Franklin Lakes. Wow. You know who I've been on the house? Penny, because Penny's obsessed with Melissa. She does everything Melissa does. Penny is obsessed, but we'll get to that bitch in a little. Yeah. But how would anybody spend $3.8 million on a home where the marble is like crumbly cardboard? Yeah. Let's say, don't call it marble when it's really just, you know, fake plaster that is falling apart. It's like not even fake plaster. It's fake plaster of Paris. It's really bad quality. Listen, how can anyone buy it? Because these people have no taste, okay? They're idiots. They wear stupid things out in public, okay? And they don't know. empty plaster, they think it means it's like an ancient ruin. Like, yeah, it's built in BC by the ancient Romans, so it's crumbling a little bit. You know, you know how it is. If you could live in any of the housewives' pads from any of the different cities whose house would you choose to live in? Lisa Vanderbumps. Really? That new one? Yeah, the new one. I love it. With the moat, it's so tacky. The infinity. Oh, I don't like the moat, but the infinity pool is nice. The backyard's amazing. Yeah. You know, I actually like Alexia's house quite a bit. I have to say, I do like Alexia's house. Do you have a shoe collection like Alexia? Wait, I know this is jumping ahead a little bit, but it's a shoe collection. She has all these fancy shoes that she's housing in frickin' Ikea cabinets. Don't get me started. I was watching in the middle of the night, and I was like, "Those are those 99 cent cubicle things from Ikea's that growling." Yeah. Like, but that's because I'm me. I don't have, like, I don't have, like, pair the shoes at each cost $5,000 and putting them in there. Right. You can't put $800 Stuart Weitzman's shoes in a $99 Ikea bin. Like it just doesn't work. Like, you can't put it in, like, a Billy bookcase or whatever it's called. Comparetif or whatever, you know? There's not enough consonants in that, but yes. I know. Okay, so they sold their house. They're moving to Franklin Lakes. I think it means, you know, that they're actually getting paid a lot of money. They really are making enough money that they can move to Franklin Lakes. They're going to build their own dream house, some new plot of land, and finally she's going to be able to treat herself right by going to Keface and getting some real eggs salad for once. I don't think Melissa eats, but sure. Okay, and then in the last bit of news I have, in the last bit of news that I have, I also posted this on the Facebook page because, clearly, I've been MIA from our Facebook page for the past week and I decided to go balls out today. But Rader Online leaked a minute and a half audio of Brooks drunk talking to Ryan on the phone about Vicki and calling her a whore, and he's so incredibly juicy and- Are you ready? I've got it. I've got it. I gotta say it. He'll play it in a second, but I just want to say the thing is it's not just Brooks talking shit about Vicki. He's talking shit about Vicki to Ryan, Vicki's son-in-law. Because he's clearly bearing cahoots, and as we've discussed many times before, clearly picking bad men runs in the family for the gunvelson ladies. Hey, man, sister. Okay, let's get on with this. Okay. You ready? Okay, nobody can hear this. Ronnie, we can't even hear you. So that's not good. We couldn't hear you. The point is this. Brooks said he was slobbering, and you could barely hear him, and he was calling Vicki a whore, and then he's like, "I'm going to beat her ass." And then Ryan says, "No, no, you're not," but not like defending Vicki. He's just like, "No, you wouldn't do that. Would you?" And he goes, "No, I'm going to beat her ass." So it was kind of incredibly misogynistic and violent and terrifying, and then later today, Brooks talked about- Like daughter-like mother. Like daughter-like mother. But Brooks put out a statement later today going, "I'm very sorry for it. The disgusting voicemail message that I shared with our- whatever." He was trying to cover his tracks today, but the point is he's disgusting, and Vicki will probably take him back. She absolutely will, because, I mean, how else does she raise a daughter who likes the monster that is Ryan? The daughter learns from the mother, and this is what- this clearly Vicki has an abuse of like- not- she doesn't have an abusive personality while she does, but she's the type that's drawn to abusive guys, obviously, based on my- my very little bit of psychiatric training. Um, I'm reading the- I'm reading the transcript. You want to hear it? It's really- Yeah, give us some. Give us some. Um, okay. My lower- my lower voice will be Brooks, and the higher one will be Ryan. Okay. Okay. [laughter] Um, bitch, like she's never done it before ever, the father of two has heard at the beginning of the expletive lace tape, it is unclear what context he is calling "Gumble Cinnabitch." "He'll be alright," responds Culverton, who is married to Gumble Cinn's daughter Brianna. "Fucking whore, I'm gonna fucking beat a rass when I see her," heirs charges. "It'll be like a week when I see her shit." That ain't right. It ain't? No. What ain't right? You can't beat her up. I'm gonna beat her ass. Why? 'Cause I can. That's what we do in the south. No, I don't do that. You don't beat their ass. No. Well, you probably should do. No. Oh, God, this is us. It's beautiful. You'd be careful. I'm good. Reading me the right act. Huh? Reading me the right act. Who is? Vicki. Reading the right act? Yep. What's that mean? Do as you do. Sorry, you're drunk again. So you're lost. I can't fight with it. I don't have it in me. What's the right act? I thought it was like a police thing. Yeah, I don't know. So whatever. By the way, I enjoy how you're slowly turning your brooks into a black man. Am I? And Ryan. And Ryan into a little queen. Yes. One guy got blacker, one guy got gay. It sounded like an episode of Oz up in here. Oz Theater. Yeah. Well, they both deserve it. I just want to say, by the way, that for people who want to write comments that we're going to read on the air and stuff, the best place to do that is either on our Facebook page, Facebook.com, Watch For Crapins, or just to tweet us directly, either a beside blog, life on the M-list, or trash tweet TV. If you're leaving comments on YouTube, I don't think the comments show up until after this is published. So just, they might actually, there's a link here, I'll open it and see. But anyway, so that was that call. And I love that both those women are addicted to their white trash, loser men. And the most interesting thing about this is that somebody had to actually, yeah, you can leave comments on YouTube, just if you're following the YouTube link, you can leave them there. We can see you. Okay. But the most interesting thing is, where did this come from? I mean, brooks calling it the war? You guys can see that in the third episode, the third part of the reunion, shit really hits the fan. Briana goes on the attack against brooks. And I just feel like there was further and further fallout and accusations and allegations. And I just think that like, I don't know, I don't know, investigations, not basins, big words, lots of big words were happening and bigger words for them, these people can handle. And I don't know, I feel like this just proves how much of a crook brooks really is was. And I'm just a little skeeved out that he, I feel like he's in cahoots with Ryan to like take down these women, which grosses me out. No, I mean, brooks is obviously a huge low life. He's probably mad because he wanted to be able to cook him a pork chop or something and she didn't. And that's why he's mad. I mean, he's a drunkard. He's gotten a life. He's a deadbeat dad. He uses just for men, hair dye, very poorly. He's got nothing very poorly. And he pays for hookers. So I mean, what else do you expect? He looks like from the Popeye cartoon wimpy who will like pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today. That's so brooks. Except he wants a pork chop today in some hamburger. Yeah. And guess who's ever, guess who paid, guess who paid for their hamburgers the next day? Not wimpy. He is wimpy. He's like, I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for some Stauffer's Lean Cuisine today. Orting in. I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for a can of beets today. Okay. So what else do we have in the news? Those were my news items. So... Yeah. So... Ronnie, are you referring to that one time where I got so mad that I just shut my laptop and lied about not having electricity? Yes. Oh. No, I wasn't. I wasn't. Oh, man. I'm nice. I don't want you to hang up. I'm being very nice. No. I like you guys. Oh. Oh, no. You let it slip. That it was because you got mad at me. Don't you remember when you let that slip in that? Sometimes I'm drinking. I don't really know him. I don't care. He was Ruth feed and he got mad and attacked and I can have you. It's like when my mom like sits me down, she's like, "Listen, I have something I don't want to try. It's very important." I'm like, "You've told me that 20 times. What is the fuck in secret?" I think that your mom and my mom need to have a show together because I think they both like some wine. I want to just... I'm going to Texas next week for a wedding so I will not be on either of our podcast next week. When you're going... Wait, wait, wait, wait. When you're going to Texas. I'm going the 26th through the 31st. See, a second. What would anybody want to do there? A wedding, have a wedding. Listen, I'm going to New York the 29th through the 15th. I'll be able to do the podcast the second week of that, but I think the first week will be difficult. We'll talk about that later. I was only bringing you that because... Can you guys be quiet? Because it's going to be the match show whenever they're all gone and it's going to be all the time. It's going to be the match model. All the time. And you know what? Ratings will go through the roof slash in the toilet. Yeah, I was only bringing... You should just be in a black background on a stool. I'm just imagining... I might actually use the green background in my home office, which is a green screen, and then I can just like act out fun scenes. Yeah, you should. You should. Okay, so let's move on to one of these shows, shall we? Wait, right. It was about to say something. No, I'm going to come to life. I've talked about my mother, so I'm now going to be a victim. You all just move on, talk about whatever you want. I'm going to channel my mother and Matt and roll him into one burrito and just be wanting. Why don't we talk about the mother of my new show? Wait, I have to laugh for a second because our girl, Judz, just wrote the funniest thing. No steak Diane for Brooks. He loves a steak Diane. He's pretty cool. I don't know what the hell steak Diane is, but my mom's name is Diane and that just freaks me out. Thanks, Judz. It's like steak with red wine, solace, all the noodles. Oh, then my mom would definitely be delicious. Yeah. Katie King says, did Ben have a few coffees today, perhaps perhaps? Actually Katie, I did not. I'm just hyper, I guess. So let's start with Orange County, y'all. Oh, wow. What another fun reunion episode. I mean, they're just killing it with this reunion. I'm loving every second of it. Ben, before you jumped on, I admitted something terrible to you. It's Ronnie, and I really can't believe I'm going to say this. But by the end of that hour, I have never been more pro-Gretchen in my entire life. Me too. I was like, you know what? This is when Gretchen shines, because for some reason, no matter how bad of an edit she has gotten this season or any previous season, she gets in the reunion, everyone hangs up on her. I'm like, wait a second. Fuck all these bitches. Gretchen's in the right here. Who cares about Slade Gretchen? It's so in the right. I'm sorry. I was team-gretchen by the end is also. Well, that's a thing in the right. And after a few years, you see what these bitches are doing. Tamara and Vicki are the worst. I mean, all they do is lie, lie, lie, but they're a team, so they put just back each other up the whole time. And it's like nothing you can say or no matter how, look how my whole thing, it's an earthquake. That's how much the lying is. Yeah. Not that I can earthquake. Yeah. They just lie, lie, lie, but they're there to back each other up so they can shut anybody down. And I love that Gretchen whipped out her emails and all her proof and her texts and her voicemails. That was good. You know, you know, there's nothing I hate more than somebody who whips out something from behind a pillow on one of these reunions. Like, it's like the only thing they've made down, but I will say, I don't know what you were talking about. People are whipping things out. But for the first time ever, I actually... I mean, sorry, go ahead. Oh. Yeah. I'm an angel and you all know that. Anyway, so... You don't like, uh... You don't like when people with, without emails and stuff. Right. I don't like that, but all of Gretchen's stuff actually backed up of what she had to say. And my biggest problem with that was that Tamara's only line of defense is... Oh, yeah. Well, at least I admit it. I own it. I own it. And Gretchen, you don't own it. And I'm like, that doesn't mean that you are not a horrible, horrible, evil, slut-bag Tamara Barney. Exactly. A.K.A. Tam... Tami Sue, Vif Barney, whatever Eddie's last name is. So don't get it twisted. You're still trash. You know, so it's funny. So I think the first big impasse that we have with Gretchen for the night was revisiting this wedding, um, this bridal dress shopping incident wherein Gretchen couldn't believe that Tamara had invited Alexis. And so we thought, like, wow, Gretchen's being kind of bitchy, da, da, da, da, da. But then Gretchen pulls out these emails and Tamara's like, oh my God, I hate Alexis. I am not going to invite her. And if you see me making up with her later, just know it is all fake. This is what Tamara writes to Gretchen. And Tamara admits it when she says, at least I own it. Okay. So you know what? Like, I'm sorry, Gretchen has every right to write a text that says, why are you inviting her? Like, what's going on? I'm so confused. Like, these women are... The fact that Tamara couldn't understand why Gretchen would be confused by that. Like, I'm sorry. That's ridiculous. Well, and Tamara's standing by and just going like, well, I was afraid to tell you the truth because I knew you wouldn't take it properly. That does not negate the fact that Gretchen still had a valid point by saying, you were calling this girl a bitch five seconds ago and now you're inviting her. Like that at the end of the day, to me, is proof for Gretchen to be upset. Yeah, exactly. And Tamara, who supposedly had this breakthrough with her anger, is immediately just going for the juggler with Gretchen. And I'm like, I totally understand Gretchen's frustration. That must be the most annoying thing in the world to have to try to explain this very logically to a pack of hyenas who have got like oatmeal for brains. Okay? It's like they're just idiots. Yeah. The only thing that makes me not feel sorry for Gretchen is that she totally dumped Alexis only because she was becoming friends with Tamara. There was no other reason. That is true. She cannot name a reason. The only reason she did it was because Tamara's the bigger bitch and she was afraid of her. What is that? Yes. Yeah. Might have been my mark when I adjusted it. Is everything okay? No, it's terrible. It's really? Yeah. Adjust it back. It's making me mad. Son of a bitch. So anyway, everybody hates Gretchen. They should hate her for her outfit, not just for liking Slade. But the other thing is this, look, Slade is a loser. He probably doesn't pay child support. The whole thing is a disaster. They're never going to last. But at the same time, it's like it has been four years. If she is in love with this loser, look, all these other people are married to losers too. So it's like, why can't she have one too? I mean, if they all have losers, why can't Gretchen have a loser husband as well? It's true. It's true. And you know what? Then moving on to the next argument that they had, which was my favorite topic, Malibu Country, that got my blood boiling even more. Oh my God, Malibu Country was hysterical. Heather needs to pull this thing out of her ass, okay? Like these people are idiots, okay? Gretchen, all Gretchen knows is that she's been offered, like they want to know if she's available, and in her mind, there's an opportunity for her there, okay? And then she tells them I'm not available, which means that she, yes, there's Malibu Country. Malibu Country. Yes, but look at this picture. This is a picture that Jesus posted. Look who's in the back, Trent, like, um, excuse me, it's Hey, it's Hey, Sus. Oh, Hey, Sus. Jesus. I like Jesus. This is America. This came from Jesus. Yes. Jesus Christ posted this on her Facebook page. God bless you. Jesus is like, I'm just totally addicted to the show. Yeah. Now that the Pope has said it's okay to be gay, Jesus is like, well, now I can come out about my addiction to the housewives. Yeah. No. So anyway, so Gretchen, I feel like I understand Gretchen's point, which was like in her mind, she thought she was turning down something like she was like, she wasn't saying I got the role. She just thought that like, you know, she was up for something and she turned it down and Heather could not like Heather would not give up on this point. And it drove me nuts. I want this triangle. Heather's like, well, my problem was that you're taking a life moment and you're turning it into some, you know, you're using it to try and make everyone feel sorry for you and blah, blah. And she's like, no, it looked like the message literally says the date on it. You can hear her saying the date. I said, no, so I could be there for her dress thing. What's a lie about that? It's not a lie. And then Heather's like, well, it was an important life moment. And oh, no, that was when they switched over to Gretchen's thing like, why didn't Gretchen invite anybody to her? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was a, that was something else. Heather kept on, Heather kept on saying like, but you didn't have the role. You did not have the role. And she was like, I know, but I thought I did. And Heather's like, but you didn't. It was very clear. The role was for me. And they were just checking your availability and Gretchen's like, I know what I thought I did. Like why can't these people realize she's just, she just thought she did. And then it, and then they cut to Heather being such a bitch and pointing to Gretchen and going, well, no, you were being rude and mean. And it's like, but everything that comes out of Heather's mouth is so condescending and awful. Like she can't not be a condescending bitch. Like there's just no way. She absolutely cannot. Heather's awful. She's like, could you imagine if that was your mom? I feel so bad for her kids because she's the mommy to be like, did you brush your teeth? Did you? Did you? And I, and I asked you very calmly, if you had brushed your teeth. And at that point, you had said no. So I said, go brush your teeth. I don't see what the big deal is quite frankly. And then she talked about it all through dinner, terribly. Do you know what Ronnie did today? I can tell you what he didn't do. And this is going to be while you're sitting in a California pizza kitchen in Orange County with with blue eyeshadows stacked up to your forehead. Oh my God. She's awful. And you're evil queen from Snow White costume. That is your hair. That is your hair. That is your hair. This is left from the little mermaid face. Does anybody else see that? Like she's skinny. She's skinny. She's skinny. Her face. I really see, I really see the evil stepmom from Snow White. I really see Sarah Roo from Malibu Country. Oh my God. Sarah Roo is such an angel. She's saying. Sarah Roo actually tweeted something last night about like, oh my God, all of this Malibu country stuff is ridiculous, but Heather, I actually think Heather was correct in what she said. And then she wrote, she wrote, she wrote, she wrote, from what I know, Heather was correct about what she said, but like little known fact, I based my character on Gretchen, which I'm sure was a very funny tweet for the three people who have ever seen Malibu Country. I sure as hell. Right. And speaking of that, that's so funny that you mentioned it. One of our amazing loyal listeners, Antoinette Marie, was just posting on our Facebook page about Malibu Country got more mentions on the Real Housewives of Orange County than viewers ever saw that goddamn piece of shit show. It's true. The only reason why I knew about it was because it was on right before Shark Tank. And I see like the last two seconds about before I turn on the TV. Should you imagine if the show were actually still on? I mean, this is like the best press that you could ever hope for. And yeah, too bad it's canceled. There is. You guys are being so funny on Facebook just just put, did anyone catch Lydia awkwardly saying this is the teen Gretchen couch and raising her arm known with listening and she quickly lowered her hand and her voice trailed off. Please do it with the shimming. She's like, I'm a G. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So then okay, so let's go to Gretchen controversy number three, which is the engagement. Okay. And how are we talking about how Vicki said that if the cameras weren't rolling, this never would have happened because a year ago, she wanted to break up with him? Yes. How about if the cameras weren't rolling, you wouldn't be remodeling your house. You wouldn't be divorcing your husband. You wouldn't. What about remodeling dad? What about remodeling your face? Oh my God. Can I just say, I can't look at Vicki's face like Vicki, please don't laugh. This is Vicki's laugh. I love how again, how much of a bitch that Heather is like Vicki was saying about like, Oh, my hair looked like a ratty rat's nest from hell all season long and then they put the camera on Heather and she was like, Oh, yeah, it was. We agree with you. Yeah. Heather, how about you get rid of your blue eyeshadow? Okay. Just snoozing. Oh, that's that. Oh, look at that. I'm turning into like a radio DJ. I'm just going to, I'm going to make everything like a pine. Yeah. That was a good one, right? I stupid show makes me dumber by the sex. It was a pun. I think that Gretchen and Slade would have still been gone engaged. I don't think it would have involved a helicopter and a tuxedo and a song and all that stuff because obviously Bravo paid for that. Yeah. Chin and Slade can't do that. And so I think that's probably what they meant. And when Gretchen just say hello, Tamara's got a whole fucking spin off about it. Yeah. And I love that they addressed what we talked about last season about all of this, which was those rumors that we're going around online that that was supposed to be Gretchen's big spin off wedding or whatever. And the producers came to them and asked and she said all this on the show last night, but supposedly the producers came up to Gretchen and said, you want to, you know, do you want to propose on this wedding storyline and Gretchen was like, no, I'm not ready to get married. So they went to Tamara and Tamara was like, hell yeah, I want it. And so she did it instead. And they were fighting because supposedly it was supposed to be Gretchen's first. I love when they fight about shit like that on reunions. Well, what I love is that like Lydia mentions, you know, well, the rumor was that you didn't have a strong enough story this year. So you got proposed to have a story. I'm like, could you imagine this is your life where it's like, huh, my life doesn't have a good story right now for the next three months. So I'm going to do something crazy. I want to get myself engaged to someone like you think of your life in terms of stories and seasons and episodes. That's why I live in Los Angeles and I think that's how most people here live and I may be included. But my problem with that statement was shut the fuck up, Lydia. You're brand new to this cast and you do nothing. So you need to shut your fucking trap. No, we like I like. Okay. No, no, no, you're allowed to like her, but you're not allowed to cut me off when I'm trying to say that Lydia was out of place when she said that because she has no right to say that. If it had come from Vicki, fine, but not Lydia. Well, Lydia's storyline was that her mom was a pop head like, how was that better? I'd rather see her get married. I like that story a lot more than anything with Gretchen in the slave. I'll tell you that much. I'm going to fight you. Well, I love that I love that after attacking Gretchen for now, it's been two hours. It turned to, well, why didn't you invite us to your engagement party? That was hurtful. I mean, you know, we all say things and we get over them. This is a life moment. Yeah, that's so disgusting. And Gretchen is saying they're balling and I felt like that was actually just I thought it was a sincere moment, because she's not a good enough actress to crop to sob the way she was sobbing. But what if both of us does Botox kill your tear ducts? There was no tears coming out of there. I freeze framed on that shit every time she broke into her. They all look like they're doing really racist, Asian imitation. Oh, you're not being ready yet. Come back tomorrow. Just stop it, girls. Stop doing that to yourselves. I can't take you seriously. And maybe the Botox does kill your tear ducts or something like that. Maybe, I mean, you put Botox in your armpits to stop sweating. I know, right. Well, either way, I like to get back to your point, though. I liked how after like hours of them ganging up, bullying Gretchen, Gretchen starts to sob. And then here comes Tamra running over to the other couch after, you know, Tamra saying, I don't think we could be friends. I don't think I trust her, whatever. And then she's going there, consoling her, patting her on the back. I'm like, you were the faggest piece of shit. You know, Tamra is the worst. Tamra's the worst. And I loved her like, oh, well, I tried to commit suicide, but I never told anybody about it because I'm not the kind to talk about it. Obviously you are. You're on a fucking reality show where every little thing you're obviously in attention horror and always happen. And I'm not buying this attempted suicide in college, shut up. You don't get to use being depressed in college, I'm depressed today. You know what? I'm almost walking in front of a bus today. Everyone said me money. Send me hugs. Would you really commit suicide by public transportation? That would not be acute. I think it would be great over to soap dish. I got the bus from cracking up fucking traffic for a little while, like do the world a favor for 15 minutes. Could you at least do it after I get home from my long ass commute? Thanks. Well, I did think it was funny that although men suddenly wanted to be invited to this thing. And I also thought the assumption that in that statement of like, well, you say you have all your closest friends. Where were we? Where were we? It's like, bitches, how could you even think that you're her closest friend when you spend all this time getting up on her? I mean, it was just this sense of entitlement, especially Heather. I mean, where did Heather get off after she sends these snotty emails about Malibu country. And then she expects to be invited to this event that are all this thing. I don't think that anybody actually really thought that they should be invited or were it said that they were not invited. I think that they were planning on bringing Gretchen down, but she came with so much evidence and shot them every single one of them down that they were left with nothing. It's like, they were just grasping at straws like, why are you wearing aqua? You know that's hard on my eye. Why are you wearing hairspray? That's bad for the environment, like whatever they can come up with. They're like, well, you had a party. We weren't there. Listen, they're all just like, they're just dumb idiots. Okay. Let's just accept it. Let's accept it. And I have the e-mail to prove it, okay? Friday, December 31st. My name is Tamara and I'm a dumb idiot. I don't even know what I'm typing on. Are these rocks with letters on them? Why is it making letters on my TV? By true e-mail, right here. Wait, is that the header and font for cut fitness on top of your letterhead? Yes. This is cut fitness. They stole it from Google, hopefully, normal notice. Laurie, are we done with Orange County because we've still got a whole other week of these idiots? I think there was just a little bit. Was there any Alexa stuff? Oh, that was funny too. But then after Gretchen keeps talking about how Alexis is awful and Alexis did this and did it. Alexis is the one person that she was sad wasn't there. I was with Alexis there. Alexis was like, what the fuck? Yeah, Alexis defended herself well and screamed and called Gretchen a liar. I don't know. Surprisingly, Alexis didn't come off to the hat. Well, I mentioned-- The first reunion version wasn't, didn't say something completely idiotic. I mentioned this last week, but Alexis really-- the whole trickery this season, the Tamara pulled, was very, very smart because we talked earlier how Gretchen was so confused by the fact that Alexis was making up a Tamara. Well, remember when they made up that Gretchen was like, this is-- I mean, Tamara was like, this is a big secret. Don't tell anybody, so nobody even knew that that was going on. So now, of course, Gretchen just feels stupid because she didn't even know all this stuff was going on behind the scene. Now that she sees it, I mean, they totally put her in that position to look like the only person who is going to be mean to Alexis and look like the bully. And the end, she was tricked into being the bully. [LAUGHTER] This show is very devious, you guys. Very, very devious. A few other things before we move on. Did you like when Gretchen was questioned about Slade buying her the Rolls Royce or the Bentley or whatever the hell it was? Yes. And I hope whoever rented that to them for the day is charging them out the ass because she's like, no, I never even accepted it. I didn't even accept it because I knew that we-- you know, it wasn't right. Bitch, you took like all these ad shots in the back of that. She released a bunch of her Gretchen-- what do you call it? Her Christine makeup. What is it? Her terrible makeup. Her terrible makeup. It's makeup for Christineies. Yes. Her Christiney makeup. Her Christineie Butte. Yeah. There's a lot of makeup for leftover pizza crust. Yeah. Yeah. Her Christineie line. Her Christineie line. She was like taking pictures in the back of that car and spreading them around as her promo photos. And then how funny was it when she was questioned about who purchased the engagement ring? Well, we bought it. We went together. We went to the store together. So you bought it. We went to Zales together. We went together. We went together. We had a very special appointment at Jared. And then we went to Sinanavon's next door. I think that it's kind of the new kind of feminism. You know, it's like you have a man, you know he's a fucking loser, you know he's never going to amount to anything. You're always going to be the breadwinner and you're always going to be in control. I mean, that's all I'm going to ask. Exactly. I mean, you look at all of this Brooks and this Ryan crap, who needs a man who's in charge, they're just going to try and beat you anyway and put cameras in your house and treat you like crap. Like, get a loser. So why not? Why not buy a cute loser that you can dominate and control? Yeah. I will be. The second I make a dollar in this town, I'm not buying a house. I'm not buying a car. I'm buying a loser. Yeah. A hot person on my lip. Yes. So in a box of condoms, that's the first thing on my list. First things on my list. Okay. Let's get out of Orange County. I'm sick of these bitches. Let's go to Miami. Me Johnny, first, can I say that I've really missed Romaine's sexy face when he was like, listen, when you talk about it, bring that. He is a little too concerned with his eye motions and the rug on top of his head. And he's looking old, though. Don't you think like he has really bad? He has really bad eye. He's got to wear you. I said this last season, and I think I put it on the Facebook page. I think that Romaine lettuce looks like the autopilot, the autopilot from airplane, you know, the balloon that inflates, that's what you're looking for. I'm too young to know that reference. But a sexy version. I don't know what that is. By the way, I think that I'm not a big Joanna fan, but I think she is looking really good this season. She got somebody got some skincare products, perhaps from Leah Black, because Joanna's skin used to be a pocked, marked war zone, and she pulled it together. I guess maybe having marked out of the picture sort of took away some of the stress, and she's able to enjoy herself, and the stress was able to act as able to go away. I know. I know. Smarta. Miss Marta. You guys, Cindy C just posted Brooks's apology. I'm sorry. We have to go back to our scene. I want to sincerely, sincerely apologize to everyone from my actions that have been recently made public. For those who have been evicted with domestic abuse and slash or been with someone who at times drinks too much, I know the memories of those times are horrific. I was exposed to an early age to abuse, and I can assure everyone that I do not in any way and or under any circumstance deem it okay to abuse anyone. For the record, I've never abused anyone or had a domestic abuse issue. The audio in question was recorded without my knowledge by Ryan Colberson after we had been out drinking in LA in February 2012. Not earlier this year is previously stated. I made several very poor choices that night as a man, father, businessman, and human being. I would never condone nor take lightly drinking too much. This is like those those records that they sell in the middle of the night, and they have like a hundred different songs, just it just never stops. And all the time, like just keep scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, so like crappy song after crap. It's like, no, that's what I call apology. Eric Carmen, hungry eyes, a lot of miles black. Will Phillips release me? Yes, Brooks. And this that was only like a quarter of it. Brooks, your entire apology is like a list of bad songs shut up and being exposed to abuse when you were younger, it doesn't make it okay to be a fucking deadbeat, that alcoholic threatening abuse now. Okay, we were all exposed to abuse when we were younger. If you saw that very special episode of Roseanne where Jackie's boyfriend, Fisher beat her and then Dan beat the shit out of him and went to jail. So we all know that abuse. Thank you. We've all been exposed to it. What is that? Yeah, I've been exposed to it. I saw it on TV, I heard about abuse before, so it's okay that I dated it. I remember when that weird guy took Arnold and his friend Dudley on different strokes and tried to get them to take their shirts off. Okay, I've been exposed to abuse. Okay, I remember that episode. Okay, that was a real one. It got real, got real on different strokes. So we'll just move to the beat of just one drum, I might be right for you, and not be right for some. That includes the pedophile who tried to touch Dudley. You were so dumb. That was a real episode, by the way. R.I.P. Dana Plato. And Arnold. And Mr. Taylor. Mr. Taylor. Mr. Taylor. No, he died. I think that the only one who's still alive is Will. No, we were this year. Willis is the only alive. And I think he found Jesus or something. He's like, you're right. He died. I think he stayed alive because he's like, Jesus. Charlotte Ray is still alive. Good for her. She is? Yeah. I've heard. What about that? What about that? What about the other cleaning? Dixie Carter is dead. No, no, she wasn't the cleaning lady. You know the other one. The other cleaning lady. I only know Charlotte Ray and now I'm thinking about Edna's edibles and now I want candy and I want to hang out with Blair Warner. I'm so hungry. I want to go to my fridge right now and get a coffee yogurt, but I'm tethered to the podcast. Well, stupid Blair Warner was on Survivor and I never want to hang out with her again. Yeah. So there. So let's go back to Miami. Okay. We started the episode with Alexia, my favorite and Mary Saul jogging in 50 pounds of makeup and 90 pound sunglasses. Oh, these poor girls. Okay. You want to talk about being needy for a storyline? One of them is married to a gay guy. One of them can't keep him and to save their lives. So what are their story lines about? They're old and dying mothers. Okay. Listen, we're at that age, ladies. Well, I'm not. You're at that age, ladies. Where your parents are going to be sick and falling apart. Like tomorrow you're going to be finding Mama Elsa's arm on the ground just because she's old. And that's how my point. I need to be educated about my stroke. I don't want to hear about it every day. Like I'm sorry. That's terrible. And I'm sorry for you and your parents. I don't want it on my real housewives. So go fuck somebody or slap somebody or rob somebody or hit somebody with your car. Let's talk about article. I just moved into a new house and it is really hard to find quality furniture that honestly I can afford without feeling terribly guilty. I found the most beautiful stuff on article. I got three bar stools for this bar I built and they are gorgeous. They're mid-century modern brown leather seats. Just beautiful. And not only are they great, but they brought them over and they put them together. It was white glove service from beginning to end. That was my experience with them too. I mean, the truth is that article believes in delightful design for every home. And thanks to their online only model, they have some really delightful prices too. Their curated assortment of mid-century modern coastal, industrial, scandy and boho designs make furniture shopping simple. Articles team of designers are all about finding the perfect balance between style, quality and price. And they're dedicated to thoughtful craftsmanship that stands the test of time and looks good doing it. Article offers fast, affordable shipping across the US and Canada plus they won't leave you waiting around. You pick the delivery time and they'll send you updates every step of the way. This is very true. And article's knowledgeable customer care team is there when you need them to make sure your experience is smooth and stress free. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com/crapins and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. This article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. We know you're listening because you can't get enough drama. But there are some things that should stay drama-free. Like getting birth control, accessing gender affirming care, getting tested for STIs. Health care shouldn't be dramatic, but lawmakers insist on attacking our rights to get the care we need and deserve. Your gift to Planned Parenthood helps all people no matter their race, sexual orientation, gender identity, zip code, income, or immigration status get affordable, high quality care without judgment, stigma, or drama. So don't wait, make your gift now at Planned Parenthood dot org slash protect. Ronnie, could that be your opening if you were ever a housewife? I'm going to slap somebody or hit somebody or beat somebody or run somebody over with my car. Yeah, shut up. I may look pathetic, but I'm not going to talk about my old and dying mother. You're like, I may look pathetic, but I have emails to prove otherwise. Okay, so Miami, obviously the big thing with it too later. Leah writing a book, oh my God, please make it audio. I'm going to write a book about all the things I know, all the people I know. I'm just going to composite them into one person. It's going to be like a terrible all but no one will love it for you. When the master bush and said, how fun is that? Now, let me look at masturbation. She walked into the room and saw his handsome face. I cannot wait to read this book. That was the most hilarious scene. You guys, I'm not going to lie. If this really is published, we are going to read the entire thing as a group on a live podcast. Oh my God. You know, we should get Leah in also, and then people have to guess which one is Leah talking and which one is us. I feel like I'm at the world and I want you all to be starting to finish where you are murdered by SeaWorld employees. I love Leah's laugh. How fun is that? So wait, what else happened on this? I think there are many things that happened. There was a few, well, let's get before we get to the fight, there was a few funny little things. There was Romaine lettuce making a fruit salad for he and Joanna and saying that he is getting them a home. I love how he didn't say I'm buying you a home because they ended up renting a home which they then weren't able to pay the rent on. So surprise, surprise, they're not really that rich. Anybody? Anybody? Okay. Wow. So that's something. That is something. Then we briefly mentioned this earlier but Alexia, she needs some me time after taking care of Frankie for so long and apparently me time means inviting gay people over to fill up your calls with Ikea. Awful gays were so, they were like high on like three different types of cocaine. They were like Chihuahuas on crack, if I may, mixed my drug metaphors. They were insane. They're like, oh my God, we can do some of this cloth on there, we can do this here. I know, they were like acting like Ashley from princesses before she had a stroke. Oh my God. Help me. Help me. Help me. Put these shoes in the Ikea Expedit cabinet. These are the most attractive bad shoes you've ever seen. Dad, can I get a jacket to Ikea? So I can get another Expedit to put my Jimmy Cheez-in. Dad, help me. Dad, to take help and a drill, dad, dad, help me take a jacket, dad, dad to Alexia's house. Help me. You know what, she is still not healed yet. She's already at the hospital. I mean, she does have to really learn how to walk again but someone said that she didn't have a real stroke. Not that she obviously was sick and something happened but someone on our page, and I forget who, maybe someone, one of our listeners who works in the medical field can weigh in that it was not a stroke but it was something lesser and there's over-exaggerated by Santa the stroke but obviously it's bad because she has to learn how to walk. Excuse me. Do you think that any of our listeners work in the medical field? Yes. Yes. No, we have some like nurses and things like that. Of course we do. Yeah. We have smart listeners, Matt. Yeah. And also I have to say, she wasn't very good at walking in the first place so maybe this is all for the best. She's like, "Help me walk, can't I just take a jet to the kitchen, dad?" Oh god, we're going to hell, the poor girl, the poor girl. Oh, we booked our place in hell a long time ago. We're taking a jet. Dad, you're taking a jet. Dad, you're taking a jet. Dad, you're taking the hell. All I've got here is- Make us some artwork of the three of us taking a jet to hell because that is fucking hilarious. All I've really got in my notes for this show are Romaine lettuce looks, sexy looks, Leah writing the book, glass roof, and then the big fight. Okay, these are the big fight. Don't throw stones. Don't throw stones if you live in a house with a roof that's glass. And make sure that roof is up the code in the standards. Standards. Make sure it's up to Miami standards if you have a glass roof. Okay, before we get to the fight, I also want to talk about Lisa for a second. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio. For a free trial and 10% off, go to squarespace.com/watchwickcrapins and use the offer code CRAP8. We saw her and Lenny and their big storyline, apparently, is some property folks are trying to prevent them from demolishing their historic hideous disgusting home. Lenny looks like one of those projects like where maybe they take some bone marrow out of somebody's arm or something and spread it on your face and it's like a monster face and then they have to like wrap you like a mummy and then leave you like that for a really long time and it's slowly and wrap you and then your face is like all gelatinous and like it's like a mix between an old man and a baby. I think that he looks like one of those like roasted chickens that you buy in a bag from the grocery store but it's been sitting in that bag and marinating in its own sweat for so long that it has the skin is no longer crispy, it just lays in his runny. I think it looks like you know when you're a kid and you like go to some like historical site and they show you all this is the way people live in 1842 and this is the way like these are the way Native Americans live in here's a wigwam and here why don't you like buy this little like souvenir drum and someone took like the buckskin off the drum and put it on to a skull and that's what he looks like. I mean the two of them if you really just put them in different clothes and you took them out of you like his pleated khakis and you took her out of her Herve Lege bandage dress and you put them in the proper outfits they would be the scariest tag team in horror movie history. So the thing is I actually like Lisa. Me too. This second running gets to go I want to get my yogurt okay when he comes back I'm going to get my yogurt we're swapping out I like Lisa I actually like Lisa and I actually like Lenny too even though we're being totally catty about their looks but that being said her boobs are out of control I don't think they're any bigger than they were last season but they are just like on display like Melissa Gorga they are just like it's like she's got two globes actual globes that have countries that she stuffed under her skin and they're sticking out right now. They're preventing her from properly swinging a sledgehammer how funny she you know that's you know she's malnourished this is why she can't have a baby she can't even pick up a sledgehammer I'm sorry sister sledge she needs to hit that wall wow do you think do you think they should tear down that house yeah it's heinous plus it's filled with dirty heat on mattresses and cockroaches I mean do you blame them could you I have to also wonder what it must be like to be a squatter on Star Island like that is some high class squatting um well yeah but they don't have anything in the house except for cockroaches and tampons they don't have toilet paper they could be like that we live on Star Island oh it's a ghetto in here this is disgusting who could live like this it's like I could I could look like that do we really think it's a tear down I mean I don't know enough I mean I've watched a lot of HGTV but do we really think that's a tear down or couldn't it be a flip it's disgusting is it a love it or list it I would say say it is a list it um but the problem is like I'm I'm thinking the back of my mind oh well they'll tear it down and build something gorgeous no they'll tear it down and they'll build a bigger version of Tamara Barney meets Gretchen Rossi meets Vicki Gunvelson's house because all these women their taste is the Venetian meets the Monte Carlo on the Vegas Strip it all they all look exactly the same with a Florida Lee and some rooster are exactly we've seen we've seen Lisa's house and it's pretty fucking tacky it's just like you know the granite when a granite countertop is going to go out is there a replacement that I wish I have I think it's just time I think it's just time it's just done let's come up with something neat guys how about crumbly plaster at Paris well it is quite popular New Jersey so you still you're still talking about Lisa and her stupid house I don't care I I think that's honestly with the money that they're spending with the preservationists they at this point they could have just done the renovations and kept the house where it is and just made it look nice on the inside I say why not maybe they could move into the house where Olivia Newton John's guy just committed suicide maybe that house on Jupiter island is for sale now you know there's a lot of there's a lot of shifty stuff around Olivia Newton John because didn't her like boyfriend he went missing he went missing at see and then five years later he showed up living in a shanty town in Mexico yeah and now there's this guy living in John yeah stay away if she's your neighbor stay away she's not willing that I want I'm not getting physical with her yeah that story was actually interesting because it was her her it was a construction worker it was like a contractor who is doing work on their house you guys don't commit suicide at work what kind of fuck come fucking stupid decision is that it's like something glamorous some old man shit you know Matt knows what I'm talking about I don't know what you're talking about you mr. Harford out if you've never seen the omen oh I thought I knew something else no I've seen the omen you know with a nanny commit suicide in front of all the little kids oh that's it's all for you Damian over you Olivia amazing yeah that's how you do it don't you don't throw yourself in front of a bus fight fight fight fight fight I want to talk about the fight I want to talk about the fight because we're there now I'm running off to get a yogurt you guys are talking wait are you getting an activity no but it is Danan is it is it a is it a gogert because you go girl no it's not a gogert it's just a yogurt oh okay B.R.B. B.R.B did you understand what he's talking about and he said B.R.B. no what is that a burb burb I don't think that we should talk about the fight until then it's back so let's read some comments from the Facebook page oh they said please discuss Daisy just it has a very good point we did not talk about Daisy in the French made outfit and that requires discussion before we move on to the fight well here's my question oh yeah that's just it's really huge please just goes Daisy exclamation point times ten yeah a fight we have to talk about Daisy oh oh what happened to Daisy wanted to become a minister now she's in a fucking whore outfit like a war made outfit she was borrowed on their cleaning ladies I think that bravo has one French made outfit and it just goes from Jo De La Rosa to Daisy and before we know it'll be on like the countess when she's trying to pull off like her next pirate on some in St. Mark's yeah I think so well what happened to life a session when did that stop working because didn't you have like a lot of lipo yeah and and Lisa's like oh Daisy has this great new body I'm like oh look a little bit like the old body those fat cells were we're sucked at and usually you can't regrow those so she's kind of miraculous in a way you think about it Daisy she really she really should go into ministry cuz she I had a through my fat cells I do not have this on my computer just my phone so I'm gonna have to show it to you through my phone but this is this is Daisy and her French made you have to talk when you do that oh thank you so much Miss Lisa thank you so much or so wonderful to me can I get you some P or some S spray so some express cells what I love I love it she's I love I love that um Daisy is allegedly Lisa's best friend but now that Daisy's leaving Lisa's like well it's gonna suck that not not be able to see you anymore not be able to hang out anymore like well if she's your best friend she is allowed to come over socially but you can see Lisa's like no no we're not actually and by best friend you mean she is the woman that would just take Lisa's shopping bags and hide them in the closet so Lenny wouldn't see how much money of her of his she was spending that mean that means best friend in Lisa's world yeah exactly my best friend she means a girl who's trained not to stare at her tits when she comes in like this best friend and that's the reason why you guys should be watching this video cast because you just missed Ronnie making an amazing face but you guys um here's here's what I learned from this lesson first of all Adriana's a horrible human being second of all don't don't buy your main things it never works out your main belongs you know that little room behind the laundry room that was mean to be like a pantry so like if you went to Costco and you had too much groceries for the garage you had somewhere else to put it that's where your main sleeps not because you're an abusive slave driver but because you don't want your maid like getting too high on herself and leaving you you don't want to give them a you don't want to give them hope you don't want to give them hope do not turn on that light in a maid's brain keep it dark in there or you're going to have dirty toilets listen I saw the butler this weekend and I saw what happens if you have a butler hope excuse me excuse me please refer to it as my fourth annual adism new daniels the butler jesus i hope they're recording you and not me sitting here all alone now they're recording us because you're thank god we're all are we all back i'm here yay we're back i'm sorry i'm sorry the mirror mention mates the mirror mention of the butler cause our show to crash lee daniel's the butler my maid raves killing the show dane fonda and mariah carrey and mica kelly from friday night lights from friday night lights come on people f and uh robin williams and lee shriver and so many random cameos you mean he says i for one however i never what emmy says i for one have granite countertops and i'm offended and i might response to that is everybody has granite countertops that's why they need to be changed to something new like those are old let's do something new also what's old glass tiles i want my countertops to be made of fruit roll-ups oh that would be amazing um okay guys so we need to stop dilly dallying and talk about this effing fight let's get into it i am super impressed because i thought that adriana the way that adriana has been explaining it i was kind of buying what she was saying were you guys oh no never it's ridiculous i mean like get the whole point where she's saying yes we had the paperwork but she wanted to have a dream wedding and no a huge ceremony did not take place but that is not enough for her to take lea's money and not tell her the truth exactly and the thing is this it's all bullshit anyway okay adriana is such a loud mouth that if this were true if frederick had called off the wedding five years ago we would have never heard the end of it i could not believe rudder did that i like look at the way she goes off the handle every small thing you think all of a sudden she's going to be like have some discretion absolutely not if this were a real story she would have complained to lea about it ten times over the way she was my friend but every time she gets a corn on her new rule new rule if you're not going to say absolutely not like quad don't use the words absolutely not thank you well you know adriana lea was just so funny with how she just laid it out because she was being calm she's like okay you heard my feelings blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah but she didn't like go for the throat or anything and adriana just kept digging herself deeper she's like no we didn't get married we had a marriage license and she's like adriana you got a marriage license and then you got married a month later it's in the court records it's in the documents that's what you did and then adriana goes on to tell lea like oh i'm being interrogated i'm being interrogated and then it's like well my my husband's a lawyer and we base our truths in facts yes thank you yeah the end yeah and adriana is like well i didn't feel married i didn't feel married it wasn't up to my standards you know but like i'm sure she felt real married let me said this before and one of our commoners said it before when she got that tax deduction because she was able to click the married box on the taxes okay so enough let's let's let's not get it twisted okay as met likes to say because she's acting like she's the victim of her of her quixotic husband here when in fact she was conning everyone out of everything she she she gladly said that she's saying i wasn't married i wasn't married until i have the ceremony like no you were happy to declare you were married for the government i guaranteed well yeah she was i mean she very clearly got caught in some lives there and she got so like the second that she was so caught by like three lives in a row she was like well i'm on the couch i'm being judged by lea black oh my god i thought i had a sister i had a wicked sister who has draconian ways draconian ways and that word is up to my standards lines were the best draconian ways um i've actually got here died died and she said it two times like she said it once and then she said it again and both she said it wrong here yeah i didn't really understand what it was like draconian i was trying i was trying to pronounce what she says but i'm done with their draconian attitudes and lea's like huh what no lea was lea's lea was afraid she didn't get the jill's errand edit i totally she held i think that she was holding back because she was afraid of that edit you know and the thing is that like uh people were saying oh well we're like biased now because we know lea and we like lea first of all of course we're biased this is the entire show is biased we have our favorites with all these shows okay but that being said it does not take a brain surgeon to realize that adriana is a converse and a liar in this situation and lea is basically like why did you lie to me all this time i was giving you money and that really bothers me well it wasn't just it wasn't just her money but like i somebody explained that she and lea made it sound like she also went to other people and i think that makes it extra embarrassing it wasn't just lea trying to help her out yeah exactly that's where my question is that's where my question comes in lea okay so lea basically she didn't hand her money she bought a lot of artwork right and she she gave a figure last night it was like hundreds of thousands of dollars and she gave she donated like 15 i think i think that she said that she gave 15 grand out of some like the the number was like in the three hundred thousands three hundred she got all these people to to do it right so was adriana completely conning down or was she really like did she did she get married to this guy they didn't work out so they just ignored it and he was living somewhere else and she is living was she really that poor was she really living on the floor with her son or was it all just a con to get money that's what i don't get i don't know and then i think that when when lea's like you know i gave you this money but it's under false pretenses i think lea has a right to be angry and then and then adriana's like oh i see like i thought you were giving it out the bottom of your heart i didn't know you wanted something in return it's like no that has nothing to do with it it's just it's very shady like if you're acting like you have no one who has your back but you actually have a husband who totally has your back then that's bullshit oh well adriana the the thing that made that quote that you just uttered was the what made it brilliant was that adriana said i never took nothing from you i never took one thing from you and if i did it's because i thought it was being given to me and i didn't think i was gonna have to give it back but that is sounds like every episode i watch of judge judy where they're like no it was a gift i promise it wasn't alone but lea wasn't asking me if i didn't take one single thing from you but what i did take like bit you're lying in the same sentence like at least separate at least she's a period and separate the sentences so we can edit them later and pretend you weren't lying but those you like you lie but come on stop yeah some of our commenters are bringing up a very good point too about this marriage um adriana said that she may have been legally married but she wasn't religiously married well but it doesn't matter though because marriage religious variables it doesn't matter the whole i i get that i was waiting for one of you to say something inappropriate about religion and you both dropped the ball so thanks yeah i've already done it i already called jesus and a bravo watcher so i think i'm done i'm done with religious stuff for the day look i don't think lea wants the money back but um i don't know i think if i were i'd be pissed i just i think she just wants to know what's going on like you know i would be i would be really frustrated this was like a close friend that i was helping out and i found out that they had you know so all of her all of her is bringing this up now but she wasn't married seven years ago when lea helped her she was married four years ago well is that true i thought the difference was between six and seven it was between six years and seven years like um lea i'm not sure uh i'm not sure either i'm not sure about the timeline but either way though she but either way she's been saying that she wasn't if she's been telling lea all the time that she was not married then that's okay now to play devil's advocate for a second and just see the other side of this yes Adrian is obviously lying and she's been putting up fake scenes in both of these episodes this one was her being mad at freidrich for all the trouble he's caused her so whatever she's obviously making a full makeup in bed she's waking up in full makeup yes and i love that camera behind the statue like going before i was so were i'm like a clean freak and i was freaking out for that white pillowcase i was like oh my god all that pancake makeup's gonna get on that white pillowcase um so she's obviously been making up scenes to make her look like less of a liar but obviously she's a liar okay so we've got that down but i think that her argument and i think that if she was better at this one language she would be better at getting it out there but i think what she was trying to say is look you're supposed to be my friend so even if you think that i'm lying and even if you think i'm a con woman and did all of this stuff why are you going around town telling everybody that and why are you like leaking stories or whatever instead of coming to me and just saying it like why are you bashing me and calling me a con woman to everyone if you're supposed to be my friend and i guess the answer is because you are a con woman which means that we're not friends anymore and i can't bash you all over the place but well the other thing is that Adriana thinks that this has to do with the fact that that she didn't defend Leah during the reunion and she thinks that this is Leah's way of getting back at her is leaking this information out although apparently the information leaked out not from Leah but from a blogger in texas right well here's the thing like obviously i'm team Leah and we're all team Leah but i am not going to deny the fact that i still believe Leah is hurt by Adriana not defending her when Anna attacked her on the last reunion show like there's no denying that yes she said that on the show i mean there's a clip of her saying it last you know last week that she was upset by that and that's probably why she wanted the meeting because she's probably saying to herself this girl didn't defend me and then all of a sudden i'm finding that she was lying to me all this time i want to get to the bottom of what the hell's going on so that's what i sort of thought this meeting was but but Adriana is convinced that Leah at least that stuff to the paper i don't think that Leah did it but there's not going to be any changing of Adriana's mind on that well again there's two again there's two different things there there was a blogger who leaked whatever the marriage certificate online so that was act that actually came out online the proof came out online but she's saying that the person who wrote about it in the Miami Herald is a really good friend of Leah's and Leah says well of course i'm friends with everybody which is true so like i'm friends with everybody so what my friends can't write an article but i guess that's where it gets fishy but yeah who knows who knows that was a really fun fight to watch show because it was good it was someone to do a corner and just watching him struggle with and then and it was standing out in the rain yes heavenly is like come on here's a member you don't have to get wet she's like no i don't want to take your umbrella because then later i'll have to hear about how you made me dry when i was wet sorry that was hilarious i know what a huge umbrella too god that thing was like 10 feet wide Adriana is full of crap but i absolutely loved that she's on this show and she's the biggest she's really is one of the biggest reasons i keep watching it because she's fucking crazy and she's been crazy every single episode of every single year and i think that everybody on the housewives of Miami owes her a great deal of gratitude because she saved the show in that first reunion this show she would have been cancelled and she brought it back to life single hand absolutely so i had a girl Adriana you just keep up that craziness Adriana you keep up your standards the craziness is not up to my standards so what don't throw stones if there's a glass ceiling and women should always be breaking glass houses so what other shows did you all watch this week unfortunately i bothered you to watch new jersey new jersey was such oh i haven't talked about that yet no but we can do it in four minutes there's no watching carolines marriage unravel that is the best part of this entirety i don't even think it's not that fun to watch it's like it's though the big thing okay the big thing was that loren manzo has gotten all big on her kaface ego and now doesn't want to uh doesn't want to get married to uh what's the space veto well she don't because the moment that she now is that she can get the lap band he should lock that down like locked it down as soon as she said that he should have moved on because we knew the daddy is gonna keep buying that lap band for her every two years she's gonna slap on some more monster makeup and think that she's a hot skinny young girl when she's not but the problem is this chick i think is listening too much to her mother caroline and she thinks that she is some like hot shit and caroline built up her self-esteem to some bizarro levels and it's called you need to reel it in girl you have a nasty stupid business and a strip mall that apparently nobody goes to she's like i have to focus on my business now i'm i'm like a business woman now i'm like fricka face egg salad central of all of new jersey really what she wants to say though that and this is kind of upsetting because this is what happens in the real world and people are awful what she really wanted to say is i'm thinner now and you're fatter and i can have sex with hotter people than you and she just would not say it out loud but that is exactly what happens in the real world and you know and by the way and and she should i say i mean the i mean it's yeah it's fucked up but you know what though you know you work hard to get the hot body we might not have some fun lord man and also you know what being fat like takes effort like you don't just you don't just like wake up fat like trust me i'm fat and thin twice a year both both things you know like i go back and forth all the time and being fat is not like something that just happens you got to eat you know so like veto or whatever his name is she says all he wants to do is sit around and eat and watch tv he sounds great for me but guess what if i'm on a diet i cannot be sitting around watching tv eating all day you have to do something else so if she's not going to sit there and eat it's like sitting next to a big hulking fat hairy guy getting his spit all over everything while he's pigging out watching tv and unless you're another fat person it's just not cute all i want in life is like a skinny hot person who wants to eat and watch tv all day yeah but skinny hot people can't just sit around and eat all day you can watch tv and do push-ups or like watch tv and give each other foot massages or some nasty shit like that but you can't just sit around eating foot massages is not good cardio lost type checked well whatever i'm just saying not in taking the cows and also you know i think the real drama is going to come when lord does finally dump his fat butt and then starts dating i have a friend who was who's on match dot com and she's all set and she's like well the guys that i'm messaging aren't messaging me back and the guys that i don't want anything to do with her the ones that are messaging me which of course everybody who's been on my dating does that feeling and basically the lesson there is you think you're too you think you're way better than you are like look at the guys who are messaging you back and realize you're only slightly better than that and lift your life like be okay with it and i think that's going to have to do that this is the problem again for everybody too like when you find somebody that maybe is not the hottest person on the face of the earth but they are somebody that is willing to worship the ground you walk on and make you feel sexy and special and amazing why would you ever get rid of that i want somebody to make me feel amazing every day well lorance falling into that first time skinny trap where she thinks it like she's gonna have this whole new world she doesn't realize that it's basically the same thing like you may have sex with a slightly thinner person but at the end of the day guys are still turks and you can still eat a cracker and gain 20 pounds a bit and p.s you're gonna who loses that much weight and then just stay skinny you don't i'm sorry not me not me she needs to know you have to say you have she needs to move out into your new jersey if you're gonna you're gonna bother losing all that weight why why like go and fuck some stupid mooks you know they're from franklin lakes go to like go to Miami go somewhere else like a find some hot guys well my favorite thing that she was saying was well you know she's trying to make it sound like it's not because she's thinner like you know she's going out of her way to say it's anything but the fact that she's thinner but that she's like well i can't be with veto because i'm so about my business and being an independent woman and making my own money it's like bitch your parents paid for that business and they are probably still paying to keep it open come on this is coming from the girl who season one was on a serial diet wherein all she has busy tricks and kicks and that was like that was that was the brain the brain's coming out of her what is matt eating is matt eating or has been eating i'm not eating i'm drinking teishava iced tea unsweetened oh that sounds like it comes from like the alexia it's a vera collection deishava deishava um so you get to Lauren you know god bless her and i don't feel like you know Lauren's got to be sad like she looks all over the internet and all anybody does is really rip her down the only people who were in my store are like lap band people you know how there's like any anybody like jill's errand the people are like i like earrings too let's be friends jill's errand it's like flat banner like that yeah it's like the only people that are nice to jared are the corporate offices of subway that guy doesn't have any friends the his only friends or suits at subway yeah so for jared what if jared what if jared and lorann manzo got together oh my god they're watching them get bad again together that was like it was that that low fat mayonnaise would quickly become um thousand island dressing before you know it be they'd be like putting ranch dressing on top of their waffles and pancakes full fat ranch and blue cheese now i want pancakes so lorann man you you know it's a bad season of new jersey when we spend this much time talking about lorann manzo all right so let's talk about the the penny and what jam penny and jann Melissa's old friends oh my god tareesus tareesus tareesus just such a fucking eight oh can you hear this yeah oh so if they meet muted my mic or whatever um yeah she's nape she sets up this big party for herself or it's basically to get Melissa to admit that she's been cheating on her husband or some crap like that she's like come on help y'all totally back yep i'll be there to back yep guess who wasn't there to back her up tareesus tareesus the whole point of it is that tareesus wanted these women to say they didn't know her so tareesus like now are we friends are we friends see i don't know i don't know use i don't know you see i'm exonerated i'm exonerated by the way tareesus i know this was not a court of law but no it wasn't this is the worst case building she's ever done see this person who i could have talked to many many many times before this occasion who says that they don't know me and so she's not lying at all i didn't feed her that line to tell her that she doesn't know me no not at all yeah and then penny's like well Melissa nobody nobody told me to say this okay but i don't mean to call i'm like Melissa it's like just saying but tareesus wouldn't leave because she knew that she'd be throwing under the bus now the other interesting thing is that this penny bitch has been trying to get on the show for years and years she's married to a guy named johnnie the greek and i can't pronounce this last name but any johnnie the greek degree trouble on this show for ages they're always showing up at events they're always trying to sneak their way into the cast and the and probably just keeps cutting them out left and right and it makes them fucking crazy so this year they finally warm their way in there and they are the ones who are involved in this big gigantic fight which we may or may not see and they're the ones that are suing tareesus for terroristic for terrorist charges basically throwing a sink and this show is going to start taping in a few weeks because bravo needs to follow the judiche legal battles and i'm telling you they are going to add new blood to this cast in the form of either pan i can't even say their names properly penny or jan or panny panny and yeah panny and jenny i'm telling you they are joining the cast i just i feel like it's happening so that was basically i will say this though penny and jan were a sight for sore eyes they were there are a lot of amazing fashions i don't know if you notice in that scene that happened for the debut of melania tareesus new hair care line which don't even talk about that name for hair care line um all the people in the background if you would look at them hilarious this is this was the most amazing like i don't know i'd wear all this amazing jersey style in one place i was i was i was having the most fun just sitting there putting the dbr on pause just looking at all the people in the background including the bartender who has had little purple maroon pigtails and the serving cocktails i don't know if anyone knows but we noticed well jan i think was really like super practiced and i have to say i was impressed with melissa because she was very good at just like staying calm making them look like they were practiced and whatever because jan was like ready to throw down and melissa's like uh-huh okay whatever but i did love jan coming in and just calling melissa out and saying that she fucked some dude in a parking lot and she was there that night and knew knew the whole thing like what the hell i know i really believe there's swingers joe and melissa because that's the room no but i don't believe for a second that she hasn't she did on him because he is a nasty little troll see i think he's hot but i here's the thing like i kind of believe jan uh soon to be portrayed by jamie gertz in a tv movie version i'm sure and at the same time i don't know it's like i kind of don't believe her because she's such a bitch so i really don't know you know these people are all such idiots and they get involved in each other's business in the stupidest ways they just want to be famous they just want to be on tv well loved jazz you know this show has this whole story that they've given us about all these people but look here's here's what we basically know from reading between the lines and some of it's not even between the lines some of it's what they told us joe was a stripper melissa was most likely a stripper they were strippers when they met they kind of cleaned up together god knows they were probably on coke or something because look at gorgot like he still looks like he's on coke i bet they were driving a white t-top Camaro hmm so it's not like they had some innocent life he probably got her ass pregnant and then they figured it out and they probably still live like cokehead strippers fucking whoever they want to and you know what good for them you got a single on i-tunes how many strippers have that it's the american thread it is the american dream it's the Franklin Lake stream really god bless american you just sold your house for three point eight million dollars who the hell am i to tell you that you're doing things wrong you're doing great guys um what else did we watch on bravo we well there was other stuff that happened on jersey oh okay what else Kathy met a rich Kathy went on a sad walk with caroline where they both realized that their husbands are idiots yeah i don't care um they decided that they're going for melissa's birthday to a spa in arizona because that sounds like the perfect place to get into another fight Dominican republic style i love how they don't let them out of the country anymore this second row they had to say domestic oh yeah um they're gonna melt in arizona because of the arizona no oh yeah i mean it's like 110 degrees in that place i like palm springs but i don't like arizona um well arizona is like the florida of the west then there was a segment where caroline was screaming at her teeth suckling 30 year old children about how to place a carpet in a in a room um which means really this show i thought you said there was i thought you said there was other things happening in this episode i guess i'm just gonna be skipped over intentionally i'm really just remembering things that made me realize i should not be bothering with this show at all all right our podcast is going on for now we're in a half well let's move on to more exciting things uh did you ever watch love trap it up i watched you drink lab did you uh i did i did get to watch it did you guys watch it you did you see it did you see it matt you said it didn't show up on your god no why didn't show up on my dvr properly oh i don't know i um i'd like this show in general this was a week second week i mean they don't really know what they're doing it wasn't the strongest but i do love this caddiness that they're setting up between cat and brenda and chris from top chef this this weird love triangle i don't know i mean i feel bad for chris he's got to have better options because brenda i like brenda the most but she is really bitter and like too bitter and then she's like moranda times ten like she's moranda the worst that moranda ever went but then you see she's sort of vulnerable so there's that sort of nice but then just like moranda yes but they have cat who is cat she's like oh my god did you see that lamppost over there it totally wants to fuck me um she's like i have so much power because i'm a blogger she's like i once wrote about a waiter and now that waiter is the mayor of this city yeah she takes credit for everybody's career she's like well i've blocked about him and now he owns a restaurant yeah i'm like i don't think he owns the restaurant because he's featured in eater LA i think he owns the restaurant because probably a good chef um or his daddy bought it for him or that too um i i like how all these women seem to be obsessed with chefs like let's move out of the pool here a little bit people like not every applicable bachelor has to come from the restaurant world no they're all you know i think what's so funny about it is they're all basically fans you know supposed to be this inside you know inside the real world of the culinary whatever they're both they're all fans all of these girls one of them was a really she worked for a very successful pastry artist she's not you know she didn't open she opened a donut shop okay so like good for you you have a donut shop but she's not exactly a celebrity chef then they've got that kind of weird lesbian girl who's been a chef for like two weeks who's like yeah man eager yeah yeah dude ah this is awesome this cantaloupe and prosciutto is awesome so kick ass i'm a private chef yeah yeah yeah yeah especially when it's okay it's the LA food and wine magazine and everybody should know that because that's one of the prizes of top chef like you get to go to the LA food you get to have a booth or whatever so what does she make no one in prosciutto you don't even have to cook that she would be kicked off top chef for making that right and again that was trendy five years ago with the whole tuna tartar craze and it's like ben you know what i'm talking about you know that you appetizers from 2006 i know and i love one cat o'dell ate the prosciutto and melon she's like yeah she's like she tells if you're gonna make an art derve you should have the ingredient be at its peak and then she tells the girl she's like it's great yeah she's like i love it i love it i love it um and then we have a little chip monk girl who's like okay this is what we do for fuca burger okay this is a this is a make or break moment for fuca burger worth the LA food and wine thing i'm gonna go like have sex with the air conditioner yeah she's the manager who won't shut up and who does nothing who doesn't cook who doesn't know how to cook who has no idea what the fuck they're talking about but who's in everyone's ear yelling the whole time oh get out and i love that the kitchen guys are just being kitchen guys and being wasted and sexually harassing people as they pass by like yeah mommy i love you yes yeah that's how to be a kitchen guy that was the best part for me was the kitchen guys and then um i did like that cat um messed up all the details on whalen's story about fona that was hilarious she's like the articles whalen's like yeah you know my friend made these things called fona she called him fona so let's make a two-minute thing and cast article was like well we were walking around in paris and i saw a spaceship and i thought to myself wow there's Julia Roberts and she just brought me a phone on and i said wait a second i'm gonna call this a phone and so i flew on my top hat and i went to LA and i opened up a shop and Cinderella walked in it was my first client and i'll tell you one thing i was not married when it happened um bravo lies uh yeah so overall it was kind of boring but i still have hope for it because the women are ridiculous and they just it's kind of like a normal housewife show where they throw a bunch of women who don't really know each other and you have to wait for them to start fighting and so i guess that's what we're waiting for i like it i feel like there's some good simmering caddiness a lot of gal like a gallery girls you know not as good nothing to be as good as gal well Brenda's an awful beast and i'm loving all the shape that she's throwing at everyone also they're gonna keep her clients there's a super weird well i think people expect PR people to be horrible right i don't think anyone's like oh it's my PR person they're so nice but i love that i love her storyline with this ex fat top chef contestant that's hilarious because that's the kid who used to be fat and now he's all skinny and they call him like malibu malibu or something yeah right yeah yeah and so i love that he's gained a tiny bit of weight because that brings me back to Brenda's level a bit but also you know that insecurity might match with Brenda's but he's so obviously into somebody else like he basically set it right there he's into Brenda's like oh Brenda's just so pathetic i just stopped flirting Brenda you're hurting my feelings i loved all the bravo crossovers by the way we had like what about like i'm sorry but we had like two people from like top chef we had Emmanuel aka Jean Valjean from food uh from food academy he showed up there also i think there was some other like eric rinspan once again was there the only um crossover that mattered this week was marissa on million dollar listing los angeles former Beverly Hills housewife oh i know i didn't see that oh yeah she's still trying to unload that family house of hers oh my god she's like i love these tiles like yeah nice rooster tiles see the fuck wants that and he was a mansion that size that only has one bedroom that's the dumbest thing i ever saw and she's like well you could just you know you could make the gym another room or the game room another room if the house is like 18 kabillion dollars and it has one bedroom so get out of here marissa that's a tear down that house tear down down that is what we call a tear down okay so matt do you like this million dollar listing show how do you feel i mean i've been committed to it from the very beginning and i need my weekly dose of madison and josh flag like there's i can't live without my joker madison and now that he's dating that dude it's just so awkward and bizarre that i have to watch the train wreck unfold yeah this is another example of just like we were talking about with Brenda another example of someone who's just so pathetic and thinks that this person's in love with them and the person's like obviously not and giving very strong verbal symbols it's not like you just can't get it up the guy's like freaking out when you talk about relationships he's just not that in the madison i'm sorry sorry mattie mad sorry mattison's so beautiful too i feel so bad for him but in real life he's a little he's like a little lady i know i think it's when he talks i think he's just one of those people is very pretty and he just needs to be in pictures like have you seen those uh this is a little big brothery but have you seen all those modeling pictures of jina marie i mean they're really whorish like kind of horror pictures like for the drink hanky for the drink hanky well that's one of them but she's actually in a skirt in that there's um there's ones of her where she's like in a thong like squatting down like like like like cocoa from iced tea and cocoa yeah she looks like she's about to do that but not as flat or a butt flaps together like that um it's called working she looks fucking gorgeous and she uh yeah i mean that just goes to show you pictures can do a lot unfortunately you have to talk at some point oh what about that guy josh is such a douche bag i hate that guy it's not josh josh altman is horrible and i still to this day i know it's been three seasons and i'm still not over the fact that um chat is no longer a member of the the cast because i miss chat and starly cakes but um yeah josh altman's just a dick yeah so that's basically their their formula now that they're going with on both LA and New York where one guy is a real douche bag and then one guy's eccentric and then one guy is more of like an upstart right right i don't get it like just let them be who they are josh was nice the first year are you talking about josh altman or josh flag altman he was never nice he's the one who swooped in and was like i'm gonna steal your girlfriend whose girlfriend well he stole medicine's assistant and made her his girlfriend oh he didn't steal her that girl ran like hell because she was trying you know she's trying to use her vagina to get things from gay guy and it didn't work so she used her vagina where her vagina was usable but the stray guy you know what smart girl i'm not gonna play yeah it's good for her she obviously has no talent she sold anything if she had sold anything in this entire time they would have put it up on the screen then how's grander treating you right now buddy i'm on instagram actually i was gonna say candy crush now i had to leak candy crush it's taking up too much of my mental space do you think that candy barris is upset that somebody got the name candy crush before she did rally rally who's trying to crush me right and spell it wrong see see but you crushed me you can't do that rally i wish every time that you crushed candy and candy crush it would go you go okay still rally let's take swedish go valley i'm not going to lie um i kind of hate the real housewives of atlanta but when you ever do that uh impersonation of candy and sometimes when mama joise comes in i uh really i miss those ladies rally yes um i let's finish let's finish this up right wherever an hour and a half is anybody watching interior therapy i'm still obsessed with that no no okay if anybody would like to talk about interior therapy why don't you post something on the facebook page and i will gladly respond to you guys because i'm still watching and loving it i will say i'm enjoying below deck and i love the crusty old captainly and i feel like he's always right and everyone else is always wrong um he is not right when he tells people to put their shirts on that is the only time he is wrong uh none of them have bodies that are worth looking at so i think he's right um i beg to differ because i want to have very strange hair like square hair and and chunky eyebrows it's too much square hair and chunky eyebrows that's our new band name square hair and chunky eyebrows square hair and chunky eyebrows all right well let's wrap this up so everyone thanks for listening remember to subscribe to us on youtube youtube.com forward slash the tv click cli q u e um also our facebook page facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends matt is life on the at life on the m list on all social networks ronnie is trash tweet tv on most social networks and i'm uh at beside blog on all social networks um you should follow us on all of them and i know matt loves a good uh five star review on itunes so be sure to do that too tell all your friends about this podcast and remember that if you want to start up a a domain a dot com you can get one for a dollar ninety nine just for typing in crap ends at go daddy when you sign up and that's a great deal and you should uh do it even if you don't want to build a website you should at least lock down your domain so on that note thanks everyone for listening and have a great week bye bye go daddy is offering one new or transfer dot com for just one dollar and ninety nine sets for the first year each new dot com comes with a free instant page website and built-in photo album so what are you waiting for get your website started today 199 for a domain name is so cheap go to go daddy dot com and enter code crap ends at checkout you will not regret it enter the code crap ends at checkout you guys okay love ya if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the side show network of launch the new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like reggie wats taut glass lies a slice finger slicing drab and friends with it for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube dot com slash wait for it comedy there's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and i love you a few days ago rook two dean posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments thumbs up rook geico also wants to make a comment in just 15 minutes you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to geico and nothing says inspiration better than saving money well except for those posters that say things like teamwork excellence and make it happen hashtag keep climbing hashtag savings geico 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance if you like watch what crappins you can listen ad-free right now by joining wonderie plus in the wonderie app or on apple podcast prime members can listen ad-free on amazon music before you go tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wonderie dot com slash survey there's no better feeling than getting a great deal when you're shopping racqueton is the smartest way to save money when you shop because you earn cash back at over 3500 stores we're talking fashion beauty electronics home essentials travel dining concert tickets and more your favorite stores like alta petco and zappos pay racqueton to send them shoppers and racqueton then passes on part of that payment to its members is cashback cashback is deposited directly into your paypal account or racqueton can send you a check you can even maximize your savings by stacking cashback on top of other deals like store sales and coupons you're already shopping at your favorite stores why not save while you're doing it it's a no-brainer membership is free and it's easy to sign up get the racqueton app now and join the 17 million members who are already saving cashback rates change daily see racqueton.com for details that's r-a-k-u-t-e-n your cashback really adds up
