You're a Piece a Trash!
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#83: You're a Piece a Trash!
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That's audible.com/crapids or text crapids to 500-500. ♪♪♪ ♪ I just want every good time ♪ ♪ Can I have fun for the rest of my life ♪ ♪ Just go where the wind blows ♪ Hey everyone, welcome to Watch World Crapids, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can find me @bsideblog on Twitter and Vine and Instagram, and joining me as always every week, nearly every week, Matt would feel it from Yahoo. Hey Matt. Hey Ben, welcome back from your fantastic vacation that made me so jealous that I almost killed myself. Hello, Matt is @lifeonleamlist on all same things, Twitter, Vine, Instagram, and also Ronnie Karam from trashtalktv.com. Hi Ronnie. Hey. Welcome home Benjaman. Thanks. Thanks guys. It's really nice to be home. I haven't watched, like, I spent a week without watching any TV, no big brother, no bravo, no nothing, and it was kind of cool, but now I'm playing catch up. And my brain is rotting away at a very rapid rate. Well, I will say we did miss you last week, but I will also say that last week's episode of Watch What Crapids was fucking hilarious. That Lisa Timmons, I kind of love her. She is funny. You know, someone left a comment because I wrote on our Facebook page, which you should all go to facebook.com/watchworkcrapids, and I was like, "Hey everyone, I'm back. I have to catch up on TV," and, you know, some people were like, "Welcome back," and someone was like, "The most recent podcast is the funniest," and I'm like, "Oh, thanks." Thanks. A few people also wrote some mean things on the Facebook page this week about the last podcast as well, and I don't know, I didn't run this past you, Ben, or you, Ronnie beforehand. But now that we're recording too bad, I'm just going to put this out there. Our Facebook page is for all of us to have fun, and we love that you guys interact with us, and it is a fucking party. We love it, and we love when you guys like leave funny things on there. So when you leave rude things about some of our guest stars or any of us, we think you're fucking assholes, and if that's the case, stop listening to this podcast right now because you're a jerk. Yeah. I mean, you know... I'm not done, Ben. I'm not done. Oh, my God. We do this. We do this for free because we enjoy this crap on Bravo, and we know that you guys do too, and it's so much fun. Don't make it not fun because you suck if you do. Yeah. I would... You know exactly what I'm talking about on Facebook page. Oh, I know. I think it's funny. I mean, I guess this is the risk that we run because if we're assholes about people on TV, people will be assholes to us, you know, we can't cast too many stones, but you know, at least be, you know... Yeah, but I wasn't caught in a bed in a hotel room with another man and another woman watching a movie. Yeah. I'm doing a free podcast with a few of my friends. I agree. So anyway, my rant is over slash the people that continue to play this podcast. We love you. Exo. We love all our listeners, but yeah, we also love our guests, and we will stand up for our guests any day of the week. Yeah. Anyway, speaking of fights and bickering and people being assholes, there was a lot of fun on Bravo this week. I'm very happy that I caught up because we had some fun stuff on Orange County, fun stuff on Princesses, and you know, medium fun stuff on New Jersey. You're being generous, Ben. New Jersey sucks. Well, you know, but they're sort of like working in these like new, like ridiculous side characters. Then I'll talk like this, you know? So I'm sort of enjoying this little, this Greek chorus that's entering the scene here. Well, well, Ronnie, where would you like to start this week? Yeah, Ronnie, where would you like to start? Let's start with O.C. Yow. O.C. was the best. O.C. was hilarious. Love it. I got to give, I got to give a plug also. Ronnie, your new site, Trash Talk TV is my daily destination because what you are doing on there by putting the copy on top of the screen grabs from the Orange County Housewives is hilarious. Like the Tamara Barney from a few weeks ago with a despicable Me Too advertisement was amazing, but like the Vicki, the Vicki one killed me. I'm going to it right now. Oh, thank you. He's talking about the Instagram. Thank you. Yeah, it's better than, it's more fun than tweeting stuff because people get mad because when I live tweet something, I type so fast, I'll tweet like, you know, it kills their whole feed. So these take me longer to do to like put little things on. So yeah, I'm kind of over Twitter. Instagram is way more fun. First of all, you get to see Ben shirtless in Hawaii, which it wasn't a selfie because somebody had to take that photo. Ben didn't have the phone in the water, but I don't put that past Ben either. And also, Instagram is just kind of, I don't know, Instagram is more fun. I sometimes then tweet out my Instagram photos and I kind of retweeted the one that you did of Vicki recently, Ronnie. And I said something about how she was the abominable snow bitch and that I was team. And that I was team Lori Waring or Lori Waring Peterson and somebody wrote back like something nasty on Twitter, like, you would be a Lori fan. What does that mean? What does that mean? Come on. You like money. What's wrong with that? I like money and I like gold. I like gold diggers except for Kanye West. Yeah. I have to say Lori is definitely making her mark this more so than she ever has before. She's like, oh shit, I've been gone for four seasons. Let me get in here and like cause some serious drama because every week she just drops another bomb on these ladies. Like, oh, you know, I, I kind of heard that, like maybe Ben is like, you know, I can't like maybe Brooks was doing some porn like I kind of heard that like maybe she was in bed with some people. I mean, I didn't say they're having sex, but I just kind of heard that. I mean, I didn't say anything. I just heard. She's making up for a lost time and I don't blame her. And speaking of were you caught in any beds with extra people on your vacation? I need to know how your vacation was. I vacation was amazing. I was caught in bed with various women, but I can assure you that nothing happened. Boring. Ronnie, let's talk about your vacation, AKA your family's in town. Oh my God, I'm so tired children. You guys, Texas, keep choice. Keep it. Children are hard. Not everybody can raise children. You guys, they are difficult. Um, Ronnie, but you are posting vines with what I'm assuming is one of your nieces and it is adorable. Are those the ones in Disneyland? Yeah. She's so cute. Yeah. Those kids are really cute. I'm not saying that they should have been aborted. I'm just saying in general, like not everyone is meant to raise those things. I mean, they are difficult and being at Disneyland with all those other kids and other people raised. I mean, that's really gross. Well, here's my main question. Did you have your, um, is that your sister and her children sit down and watch the real housewives with you or is that inappropriate viewing for the kids? I wish. But I come from a very Christian, Christianic family and there will be no housewives for children in my family. Um, well, so does Theresa Giudice, yet all of her daughters clearly watch the show because they're acting for the screen and they know way too much about Theresa's problems. Listen, everyone watches this show. I think, I think everyone has to come to terms with the fact that everyone watches these shows. I think the numbers, the ratings don't even really reflect how much people watch the real housewives. It's, it's shocking. Everyone watches them. Everyone has an opinion about these women. Yeah. I think so too. My, my niece Aubrey does know that she hates Teresa, but only because I've told her that she hates Teresa. Oh, good. You're, you're such a good gunkle. Yeah. Yeah. They're so cute. I'm having so much fun with them, but bye go home. That was really fun. Now. The uncle is tired. I am too fat and too old to be walking around. I've been in the sun every day. I don't think I've left my house this much God, maybe since the nineties when I was homeless. Sunlight is a scary thing. It's too much. I've aged. I have some spots. I just feel like Miss Daisy, but I was driving me just a little. I'm just like Miss Daisy without a ride. Or an Oscar. Well, I have to say I have been, I have been, even though I said my brand was rotting, I have been thoroughly enjoying being able to just sit in one place for several hours and watch TV because I admit it. Admit it. You missed Vicki. Oh my God. I missed it so much because I saw on Ronnie's Instagram and yours too. I don't remember where they were coming from, but I kept seeing these Vicky things and she's dressed like a snow bunny and all this stuff all week long. And I was like, I cannot wait to watch Real Housewives of Orange County. Like fuck this paradise of Kauai, I want to be in Los Angeles watching TV. I've been in Hawaii multiple times and I do recall them having cable television. Yeah. Well, not a, Kauai, I'm telling you, Kauai is like, is like one vault of electricity beyond like an armish farmer, like Ville. It's like, it is like, everything closes down early there. I mean, it's a miracle that there's even like fresh produce or well, not fresh, but like groceries. It is beautiful. It is so fun. I had some, I had an amazing hot dog there at a great fish tacos. Was there, was there any trash rolling up onto the shores from the earthquake slash tsunami or whatever happened in Japan? I saw no trash. Except for yourself. Fio self. I did go to an ice cream shop and there was like a really strange guy behind the counter there. It was a weird hippies on the island and this guy, and I mentioned this on my other podcast. Did you give him my number? No, I don't think so. He's, he's like this guy and he was like, he was saying it's originally from Hollywood. He's like, I'm from Hollywood too. He's like, no, no, no, no. Everyone's like happy and cheerful and like getting samples and he goes, because not to bring it down, but sunset in Highland is where my sister was murdered. Yeah. That's bringing it down. What do you mean not to bring it down? Exactly. That's bringing it down. Because that's six houses away from where we live. Yeah. Exactly. This has nothing to do with Bravo, so I apologize. My brain is still, I think, like somewhere over the Pacific, so I'm trying to get back up to speed with my banter skills. Okay. Well, speaking of morons, let's get to Orange County. It was an amazing episode. I'm going on record to saying this is one of the best seasons ever of Real Housewives of Orange County. It is so back. It is so back because when Vicky screams, our hearts sing. Did anyone record that because I did not record that sound bite? Um, hello. Have you checked out my vine? I know. I know. That's what I thought. I was hoping that you could have that queued up because that was probably one of my favorite little sound bites of the year. Okay. Well, let's start off. Let's start off with the beginning of the episode and then I'll try to queue that up on Vine because I was really missing a ball right there. Well, the, the beginning of the episode, by the way, I think it was like, it was great. That was sort of like Heather's time to shine. She's like, you know, I only have six hours on this vacation, so I'm just going to be like hideous right off the bat. If you're referring, if you mean that time to shine as solidifying the fact that she's a horrible, horrible bitch, then yes. Yes. No kidding. And not only that, but like completely desperate for airtime. Like really you're going to, and you know, in Heather's mind, like she's only showing up for six hours because she's kind of work, but she's showing up because this is work. This is a job, you guys. Real housewives of Orange County is an acting job and she is a professional. And even if she only has six hours, she is going to show up and she's going to do it. Shut up, Heather. It's an acting job. All right. It's some reality show. You're going to get paid the same amount, whether or not you show up or not. Take a break. Okay. We could use the six hours without you. And I have to say also, so the big thing was that she was bragging about the fact that she got a role on Malibu Country, which is canceled. Yes. Cancelled. Yes. Thank you. But my part by the way of last week's episode was when she announced it and she's like Reba McIntyre and Vicki's like, Reba McIntyre and she goes, I'm a country girl. So anyway. Yes. She is country. Vicki. I'll give her that. They're all country girls who ended up marrying rich dudes moving to Southern California getting breast implants, fake lips, and then like, I mean, at least they still remember their roots, right? They're dark black roots because they're all fake ass blonde bitches. Anyway, go on. So anyway, so the big, the big stupid controversy, the first part of the episode was that Gretchen had said that she'd been approached for a role, but on Malibu Country. And so at first, I thought, you know, everyone was like, Oh my God, Gretchen's a liar. Why would she do that? You know, they were manufacturing the drama. I don't mean the producers. I mean, the women were like so desperate to have some drama in their lives. They were actually being like, why would she lie? She's a liar face. But then I have to say, I actually felt like I thought Gretchen was not lying. I thought she was like, yeah, they called me and I was like, I don't know, I can do it. You know, what do you guys think? Do you think that Gretchen was lying? No, she wasn't lying at all. And then the Alexis piped up from the back seat and she's like, Oh yeah, they called my people to you. It's hilarious. That I cracked up at the end and Heather, the thing is this way Heather brought the whole thing up with so awkward and clunky because she wanted to brag and say, Hey everyone, I got this role. And she also wanted to say to those two girls, stop lying. You don't have a role. I have a role. But she didn't really just fall on say it. So she just, she just sort of awkwardly stumbled her way through saying something like, well, I guess you were, you said you had a role, but you don't. So I don't know what that's all about. But I think you don't. So it was so awkward. It wasn't the same role, guys. It wasn't the same role. I mean, Gretchen was just offered something that was two lines. Yeah. And so it was a Lexi, but I was offered a real role. My, I had like four. I was like, Heather, no one was questioning you or them, like everyone was like, but Ben, we're saying that now. Why don't they cut to like a confessional of like Lydia or Vicky saying like, what is this bitches problem? Like we got it when you clarified it for the seventh time. I know. Well, when is she going to realize that she's not getting these roles because of her ability as an actress, it's because she's on the real houses of Orange County and these sitcoms, these crappy sitcoms keep making fun of them. You know, you know, I love when people, you know, when Lori, you know, goes after Vicky and Tamara, all that craziness. But when is somebody going to put Heather on blast because she needs it more than any of those dummies? Oh, it'll come around. Well, unfortunately, the only one who's put her on blast is Alexis and she's too stupid to know how to do it right. Truth. Truth. We're poor Alexis, but I'm loving Alexis being back in the mix with the girls. I was trying watching Alexis. First of all, that little Swarovski crystal Bible that she get. First of all, that was not even a crystal Bible. That was plastic beads. Yeah. She gave me. I love that anybody puts some like shiny thing on something and they call it Swarovski and it's really it's never that she thinks that it's actually a country. This came from Swarovski. She's like, this is for you is to protect us on our ski trip. Shut up. You do not need protection. You've got some woman that you're paying to do your makeup. You still got a house. You know what? I think Alexis has actually proved that we should all be praying because that bitch is still housed. She's clothed. She's still driving nice cars. You guys pair works. We're barking up the wrong tree. Yeah. She got her wish to have a trampoline stadium. So she's really it works. Yeah, but I'm loving having her back with the women and just having her judge them, you know, like threesome. Oh, fanning herself like I can't believe that someone even said that word in front of me. So I guess so this is they go up to Whistler and with Lydia's hot uncle. Hot uncle who by the way looks exactly like her brother. So there's that too. You mean her husband? I'm sorry. Her husband. They probably all look the same. Just varying. You can tell their difference by the size of their teeth young ones have the biggest teeth. The older ones have lost them because of hockey and have had, you know, cat. But who knew that Lydia was Canadian at her to the secretly Canadian list? I know. I love Lydia. I really I think that that she is I think she's actually the brightest of all the women. Well so far. Of course she's okay. For now. Now admittedly it's a low bar. I mean, I could honestly I could pull like a seashell out of the ocean and be like, well this one's smarter than all the women too. I was going to say, I don't know I don't know how we're judging this, but I'll go with that for now. I know it's never mind as I say something very on PC. I will just stop it right there. But the point is that they're all idiots and she's slightly less of an idiot. Yeah, I'm really enjoying her so far. I think she's really funny. I was really hoping she was going to be more of like a bible beater or more of more of something. Yeah. Right now she's like the perfect blend of like silly and shits stirring. Like she's actually doing a really good job as a housewife. And I do like I do like that she stands up for herself too. I know that was a few weeks ago with the whole Slade fiasco, but she does. I'm glad to see that she also has that that element. And she also articulates herself well, yeah, she's not going to take any crap from Gretchen at all, which I love. She's calling her out every second for not, you know, for the stuff, for the sense of her boyfriend, her de-spag boyfriend. What did you guys think about Gretchen's ski outfit, that big white pantsuit with the freak on top? I loved it too. I have to say. I thought that was great. I hate Gretchen, but I love a hot white jumpsuit. Me too. I was like, I was, I was down with that. I think it was like the DHA Max version of Lisa's ski suit, you know, that big fur white suit is like the poor version of that. Listen, anytime you mention Gretchen, it's automatically assumed that it's the TJ Max version of, you know, you don't have to, you don't have to say it, Ronnie. It's like, oh, look, Gretchen is wearing a nice pair of pants. It's the TJ Max version of anyone else's nice version. Wow, with a nice flab at hat. Yeah, exactly. Lisa removed all of the true mink from hers and Gretchen stapled some like cotton balls to the ends. Oh, it's fur. It's fur, I promise. Listen, listen, let's just be happy she didn't go down to slopes in a pair of flertilies, you know, I just strapped them onto her feet and just, oh, you know, under all of that, they're all wearing florida Lee, um, asked, uh, like knock off juicy cochiers sweatpants. And she's probably handing out a little like, you know, goblest that say sassy ski bitch on them or she's, or she's handing out like wooden, wooden etchings that just say like winter. By the way, I will say this, Gretchen would have loved Kauai because everywhere were chickens and roosters like shoot. She would have thought that she like she was on drugs like all of her rooster art in her kitchen had come to life. You guys, I make so much fun of them as you do, but then I look in my kitchen and I have rooster plates on like little easels in my kitchen. So I am just as bad. You do not have that. Yes, I have three rooster plates in my kitchen. To be fair though, I've seen your, your place and it's very classy and very well decorated. You're allowed to have like one thing here or there, you know, that's TJ Maxi in that style. Oh, mine were not bought at TJ Maxx to clarify they were bought in like Santa Barbara at a glamorous store, but they still could pass. They could still pass for a Marshall's red tag sale. Either way, the point is this, you do it with taste and you, and, and it's okay. And on top of that, to, to pull out Vicki's favorite term, we're all hypocrites. It's okay. Thank you. It's okay. We're all. Thank you for confirming what we all know. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. So let's get to that fight. And then if we want to talk about the other stuff, like how odd that uncle looked, then we can do that in a minute, but I think you, I think you just covered it. Let's move on. I thought he was hot. Well, I guess, you know, he wasn't ugly. I'm not saying he's ugly or anything. I just, I guess I was kind of impressed more than anything because he's the first guy with a ton of facial like Botox and fillers that I think actually looked good because normally I think men shouldn't have that and it makes him look creepy, but this guy had a lot of it. And he actually looks quite nice with that. I didn't even, I didn't even notice that he had that. I just assumed it was just all hockey scars and everything. Oh no. It's all on the neck. It's all on the neck. He had sleeping bag neck. Oh, before, before we even, I couldn't tell if he was 30 or if he was 72. Yeah. He was like, sure. It was weird. It was going back and forth. But it works for him. I will say this before we get to that fight. Every part of that interaction with the uncle is that when Gretchen was like, so you know anything about Canada? And he was like, yeah, I know things about Canada. And then she asked some other dumb questions. And then in the interview, she was like, well, I'm sorry if I want, if I'm like culturally like interested in this country, I'm like, no, bitch, you're not culturally interested whatsoever. You're just a terrible conversationalist. Yeah. She was just counting down the seconds till she could put her skinny little bony ass in that jumpsuit. And that was also another scene where they had absolutely nothing to say for like a good stretch of two minutes at a time. Yeah. I love brofos. Bravo's editors were awesome because they let the fucking crickets chirp. It was so painful. It was like, yeah, none of us really are friends, but we're all sitting in this living room together because we're getting paid to. Yeah, exactly. And I just love that it's such a fun season even with that obvious like boredom with each other. Yeah. So much fun to watch. Why do you think, wait, before we get the big fight, why do you think this season, what makes this season have that like intangible energy that makes it an awesome season? Laura Peterson. I think it's just Lori. I love Lori. Well, we were liking it before she even came back. Yeah, that's the thing. I think that is because it's not all about these stupid fights. I mean, they're there, but they're just being characters, you know, they're just letting them be silly. But for some reason it's working because, you know, it's, I mean, we have, we have Lydia, but Lydia hasn't like, she's not like a Kenya more where she's come in and turned everything upside down. She's there as the fun, but like, you know, we had pretty much the same cast as last year and last year was like a snooze fast. Well, in a way, I think it's actually kind of the realest of the franchises because I do think they just turn the cameras on and let them live their lives and it doesn't seem so necessarily over the top as Beverly Hills or as Atlanta, but I just feel, I feel like Jersey as much as I don't like this season because it's boring because it's bear boring. I feel Jersey and Ose are actually the ones that are the most authentic. Yeah. And they're, yeah, perhaps that's, I mean, that's a good point. I don't know, but this, this season is just, it's like it's working. Even though like every scene is just like hilarious, everything is making me laugh. And I think maybe also these women are perhaps the pettiest of all the women on all the housewives. Like they, the fact getting back to that whole Malibu country thing, the fact that Gresgen said something where she probably, you know, misunderstood, she probably misconstrued something. One of her indiscrepancies, you know, and the fact that these women jumped on it and turned it into an issue that Gresgen is always such a liar and why she's such a liar and we've worked so hard to get past all this stuff, that to me is hilarious. I love when they do that. Yeah, it's just so silly and the fights are so petty and the Heather thing was really hilarious because Heather holds herself to a higher standard. You know, she's like, she thinks she's so classy and so above it all. So to see her being such a cheesy piece of shit and thinking she's so great for getting some role that went out on like Actors Access website that was like, we need a housewife, like anybody who represents a housewife in the tri-state area, please. She probably, she probably just got confused. You probably just got like a circular from the Malibu country Mar and thought it was a casting gig. She was probably in the Malibu country mart and someone was like, do you know, we move them back in tire? We need somebody to like be in the set this week. Yeah. I love that you gave her the age of Malibu voice. Well, she's got that gravelly voice. Japakua. Yeah. And I like the part where she was like, yeah, I mean, I was so tired, I needed toothpicks to keep my eyes open. Bitch, I've never seen your eyes closed. She's got the whitest, darkest, death-glorious eyes. She's like a death eater. Oh, good. So okay, so let's get to the big fight. So we're up on the mountains, everyone is skiing or in Lydia's case, she's snowboarding. And... Alexis is falling on her head. Oh, can I ask you something about that? So when did skiing become an old person? Yeah, what's up with that? It's Lydia's like, who skis? I mean, what generation are we in? People snowboard now skiing. What? I mean, I've heard of snow, like people snowboarding and everything, but I thought they were like two different things. I have never skied nor snor... snorboarded in my life. Snorboarding? Snorboarding sounds like a certain kind of pressure. In my life. I've never done either, but I mean, I kind of want to go take a snowboard lesson. I have never snowboarded. I have attempted to ski a few times in my life and I am horrific at it. I once skied into a river almost, and then another time I have never been able to get beyond the bunny hill. Like I was actually impressed with Alexis that she was able to do, like, go as far as she was able to, because I can't do that. I mean, I don't understand why people would want a vacation where it's cold outside. Yeah. Well, it's like they said it's like hot and cold, because you do all that. It's the adrenaline, the speed, and at the end you have some hot cocoa. I'd rather lay out and have a pool boy bring me a big old drink. When I was in youth group as a kid, we used to have to go on these snow trips. And I really hated them too, except at night time, because everybody would, like, sleep really close to each other to keep warm. So you got to cop a feel when you were a child? Yeah, it was like the first time I felt other boners. Wow. So you had, like, multiple partners. You're caught in bed, huh? How dare you? We were watching TV. But I love Lori's answer. Well, I never said they were having sex, maybe they were just in bed watching TV. Well, look, I've been saying. But you guys do know that Gretchen did kind of take that story and stretch it. Yeah. Well, yeah. But when Lori was telling her all that stuff, she was basically saying, "I mean, she was saying I didn't technically see them doing anything. Maybe they weren't. She did say that." But she was also saying, "Well, you know, she's always had multiple partners. You can't tell Gretchen something like that." Gretchen only knows a few words. If you have multiple partners to Gretchen, she's, you know, she's like having flashbacks to, like, juggling dicks in the mood. Can you guys hear that or not? Is that playing or not? I hear it, I hear it, it's good. Anyway, have you guys ever had multiple partners in your lives? I haven't. But, you know, I love the fact that that's what offended Vicki the most. Like, she's like, "Have I cheated?" Yes. Multiple partners, absolutely not. Like, yeah, that's the, I forget the cheating thing, Vicki, like, don't even worry about the rest. That's fine. You already had your big indescrepancy. Yeah. She basically totally came out of the closet with those rumors being true that her and Don were always swingers the whole time. Yeah. I mean, that's always been the rumor about Vicki. So she basically just, like, brushed that one to the table and then screamed as loudly as possible, like, nothing ever happened. I love it. Do you think... Do you think she can get in trouble for, like, talking about Don now on the show and saying that he slept around or is that, like, too bad so sad? Don this one wasn't Don the one, like, caught at a swingers' club. I don't think so. Yeah, I think the damage has been done. These people are all too dumb to figure out liability. But anyway, I guess the way it all started was that, you know, someone told Tamara this, right? I guess Gretchen told Tamara. And then Tamara is sitting there on the slopes. And by the way, this entire... All this has happened, they have these gigantic, like, ski masks and glasses on and they look ridiculous. Which makes it even better. Yeah. And Tamara's like, "Oh, I don't know. I feel like I should tell Vicki this. I don't know. I don't know. As if she is, like, being some wonderful friend. Why would she tell Vicki on the slopes in the middle of a full day of skiing? Why would she tell her that? I mean, obviously the producer told her to tell her, but I just loved how she was, like, acting like she was so tortured, like, she didn't know what to do. I was like, "I'll tell you what to do." Pull her aside off camera and tell her these things. Yeah, exactly. That would never happen. Yeah. She'd only give a dollar to a homeless person if it was on camera. Otherwise, she'd just, like, throw a Diet Coke can at their heads. She's one of those. Well, I love that once Vicki started yelling and screaming at Gretchen and Laurie. I loved how, like, in the middle of it, Lydia just, like, lives in and just wipes out in front of the mall. She's like, "Hey! What are you guys talking about?" It was, like, the most random image, like, the camera just pans down and Lydia is just, like, on the ground, like, covered in snow, getting up like, "Hey!" I love Vicki. Oh, not cool. Not cool, Laurie. Hi, Laurie. Not cool, Laurie. Ow, wah. And then Laurie, whatever cheap-ass filler she was using in her lips, got frozen in that snow. Did you notice that? Did you notice that she had-- She could not move the upper lip. They totally had Joaquin Phoenix lip. It was totally deformed and wouldn't move. She had cleft palate problems, so she did. It was like watching the master with way worse acting. I mean, the mask? Both. There's a picture of both. There's, like, a mash of the little bit of it. Horrific. She really is kind of a mixture of mask and the master. A little, you know, maybe a little gladiator thrown in. Well, I thought Laurie handled it so well. She did, actually. And I love that she said, "Well, you know. I mean, the way that Gretchen made it sound, I feel betrayed." Yes. Yes, Laurie. You totally went to Gretchen with all that, with great intentions. Yeah. And then Gretchen had the nerve to betray you. But now Gretchen is pissed off Laurie, who is going to be coming out for blood. And now everybody officially hates Gretchen. She doesn't even have the new girl to be nice to her. Everybody makes sense. That makes you so happy, because I think out of everybody here, you hate Gretchen with all of your being. I don't. Gretchen's so funny. No, she is so funny. I think Gretchen's just, I like her because she's funny, but I hate her for dating Slade. Like, I know that she's a horrible person. Like, if she got run over, I don't think I'd be able to cry, because it would be one of the, I would think it was fair. Yeah. Well, then, okay. But I don't hate her. Does that make sense? Well, I kind of do hate her. I used to think she's one of the best. She used to be very funny. But she's become like a little snot, and I just, I really loathe her now. And I know someone wrote a comment about why is it every single time we podcast my frickin landline rings? Huh. Oh my God. Hookers. Hookers. Do you still have a landline? Lydia would not approve. She likes things young. Young people do not have landlines. Young people have cell phones and snowboards. And pagers. Who is it? MJ coming for a slider. I saw Mike Saboud or whatever. He's always where. Why aren't you starting our podcast with celebrity sightings? He's always at the Starbucks that I go to down the street, but only when I go early in the morning. Why? You go to like, you go to like the gayest Starbucks in all of Los Angeles. Why does he go there? Oh, God. He's so gay. Like in real life, he really looks gay. Is that because he's a play girl? Anybody who does play girls gay, right? Well, they're pretty much pretty much ish. I mean, they had to suck a dick on set, right? Isn't that how that works? I would assume so. Yeah, I think that's the craft services there. Yeah. Dicks. How did you guys get on to this? I was going for one second to shut off that phone and I come back and you guys are talking about Mike from Shazza Sunset because he said that MJ was calling you for a slider and I said it's perfect. She probably was. She probably was. So well. You guys. You were just talking about the fight. I love fights like these when I love when he gets pushed to the point where she screams random phrases in her super loud screechy voice. That's like my favorite thing. And I think weren't we going to try to learn how to do that voice, but we never did it, right? No, I don't think it's I don't think it's even imitable. I think no human being can actually make that. It's like, you know, like certain things like only dogs can hear. There's certain things that only Vicki can noise the Vicki can make. It's like NASA should should take her in for studying to figure out how to use her to communicate with whatever aliens are on the other side of the universe that respond to those frequencies and noises. They probably have been using it. They've probably been using clips of it and that's why we haven't been attacked it. It's like keeping the aliens afraid. Yeah. They just use it at like Guantanamo Bay. Like, okay, okay, we can evolve a plane. I'm like a Thai terrorist. So let's talk about that fight some more because it was my favorite thing that's happened all year because the fight was completely blown out of proportion and misunderstood. Whatever Vicki heard with so such a gross exaggeration of what Lori said and then Lori explaining it was just like whatever really Vicki because that's how they argue on the OC. Really? Really? Really? Uh-oh. Who got hung did up to do that? That sounds like Macka. Macka kicked off. Oh, Matthew. You little troublemaker. That's because he's old. Young people do not lose calls on Skype. What generation is this? I know. The only people who's calls on Skype are skiers and stupid people, which are one I'm thinking about. It looks like it's thinking about reconnecting with Matt. It's thinking about. It's like all of us. Do we want to reconnect with Matt? Matt, we do, Matt, come back. I think Matt's restarting his computer because he completely disappeared. Yeah. We got to try to add him to call again. Oh God, technology are so ridiculous. Did that get everybody or just me? Just you. Really? Did that. I like I say that as if like a hurricane came through. Tornado. You hit by it? No. Well, it happens every time. Stupid technology hates us. I know. So the fight was stupid and Lori's fight back was really, really, really, really Vicki. Really. And Vicki's fight is like, I know stuff about you too. I'm going to tell people stuff about you too. I know about you. I know about you. I can't give it. Love it. Okay. Well, then here's the question. Why didn't Vicki then drop any bombs? I think that we all know Lori's bombs. I mean, Jesus, she like gave a heroin baby up like she just handed it to some homeless person on the street and walked on like it was nothing. Her kids are like all fucked up. One of her kids friends with a porn star is fucking, I mean, I don't know anything good happening with Lori. That would be the real secret plus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The truth is that, you know, that's just Vicki's like standard like comeback thing. Like, you know, if like she doesn't get her coffee at Starbucks, she's like, well, I don't get this coffee. I know all about you. I know all about you. What's that? Oh, don't you start with me. I did not have multiple coffees. I was just watching a movie with those dr. coffee. Oh, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. How do you know? So suddenly she's becoming Thomas Kramer from the Housewives of Miami. But you know what? I'm trying to make it like a more of a feminine Thomas Kramer because they actually have very similar Thomas. Like this. Like this. Yeah. Thomas Kramer is like, sit down, shut up, I'll go home. And Vicki's like, I have never had multiple partners in my life. It sounds like you see the difference. Sit down, shut up. That's Thomas Kramer. And Vicki is. Okay, by the way, I have a new neighbor next door. He moved in like two days ago when I was alive. She already moved out. Right now. Right now. I met him yesterday. He's a very nice guy. Now he thinks I'm crazy. How? Wait, wait, wait. How old is he? He's like our age. I guarantee he thinks I'm crazy. I'm gonna have to tell him, listen, I sometimes with his podcast, I do weird voices. Don't be freaked out. What do you think? I have never had multiple partners in my life. I have never had multiple gamers in my life. I'm like, I like that the way she tries to win a fight is going, okay, Lori, you know what, Lori, you're not coming to dinner, okay, you're gonna stay in your room and you're not going to eat dinner. That's what, that's what's gonna. I'm like, what? You don't know how to dinner? You don't know how to dinner? You don't know how to dinner? You don't know how to dinner? You don't know how to dinner? You don't know how to dinner? You don't know how to dinner? You don't know how to dinner? You don't know how to dinner? You don't get to tell me if I get to eat dinner or not, you crazy bitch. I know. That crazy thing she said towards the end of the fight, she was talking to someone and she started going crazy voice again for no reason. It's when Tamara pulled her aside and Tamara was trying to explain how it went down and Vicki lost her shit again. About nothing. It was absolutely. She's a piece of trash. She's like Lucille Bluth, you know, that's that episode where she's like in the, in the blue, like model home, she's talking about Lucille Ostero, she goes, that bitch! They're like, she's not next door, you don't have to. She doesn't look next door when you're at this house. Oh my god, Vicki is hilarious. So I hope all these secrets about Vicki keep coming up because they are killing me. And I love that Vicki, you know what, Vicki did get her face fixed because she was made found on TV and, you know, she does do all of this stuff because she's so insecure. At the same time on the other hand, however, she also has enough self confidence to like have three sons and get laid all over town. I mean, I don't think I've ever heard a sexual history of any housewife quite like Vicki's. I mean, Nini was a stripper, but she admitted that, you know, she's like, "So what, I was a stripper, whatever. I found that old man. He had money. We got married. I was done." But Vicki, I mean, Jesus, Vicki's Vicki's, Vicki's, Vicki's a dick juggler, basically. Ronnie, this may sound funny to you, but after all these years of being an adult, I have never owned a bed. I have lived a box spring and bed frame lifestyle for years and years and years. And over the weekend, I finally got my very first bed and I got it from article, got a beautiful blue bed. And the people from article came. They delivered it and they brought it upstairs and they assembled it. And now I am the proud owner of a very beautiful, very comfortable brand new bed. Well, yeah, not only do they deliver really quality furniture, they put it together for you. I mean, it's a Lex experience. Article believes in delightful design for every home. 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Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabytes of details. Okay, you guys, we were cut off that whole time. So whatever you were saying, and I wasn't responding, the last thing I said was that Vicki is a dick juddler. And I said, who are these men in the middle of the country who don't have any options that are any better than Vicki that they have to go sleep with her on these convention trips? Well, they're literally literally like midget. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, you said. It's fine. No. No, well, now it's dead, Matthew. Now, it's dead in the middle of the road. Matt, that was Ronnie who cut you off, not me. I know. Trust me. I'm jotting a note. I'm sorry. I'm sorry when we're on the mountain skiing, when we're skiing down, shut up mountain. That way you can tell Ronnie that you know all sorts of shit about him, like every single time. Well, actually, I'm not the only one who didn't hear the entire audience didn't hear you guys. So let's start that again. Okay. Let's pretend that never happened. Okay. Rewind. Every single month of a day, she's a pizza trash. You know, Vicki has assorted sexual history. She is a dick juggler. I want to know who are these men in the middle of the country who have no better options than Vicki Gumbelson? I mean, like, she's getting laid all the time. Who are these guys that are like, well, I guess let's stick it into Vicki, the old Vicki sack, you know? Like, why don't they have any better options than Vicki? I believe you are asking the wrong crowd, seeing as Ronnie and I are not attracted to men who wear pleated, stain resistant dockers and buttoned down polo shirts from an outlet mall. Well, I think that Vicki has luck. This is where Vicki is finding these men. They're literally toothless, short, balding people from Oklahoma who are deadbeat dads. I mean, it's like the least classy thing you can imagine, you'd be like, to your worst enemy, you'd be like, I hope you end up with a short bald deadbeat dad with no teeth from Oklahoma. Vicki's a player, you know, at the end of this, you do have to appreciate that she gets a lot of ass. A lot of ass. And I mean, like probably like donkeys, like actual donkeys that she gets. Play on player. Well, she was the one who knew all about the donkey show. Come on, guys, there's donkey shows, donkeys are trained to, why shouldn't donkeys have the right to work? Come on. That's what I'm gonna do. I said I had multiple donkeys. Well, if she wanted to go to Andelase, I'm surprised Vicki didn't find it. I find the nearest on delays in the ski town. I know. Oh, man. Oh, man. She will not come to the dinner. You're not coming to the dinner. You're not coming to The Lays. Okay. So what else happened in that episode? The fight was fun. I love that stupid midget bitch. What's her name? The short evil scrumpled one, you've got to bring me on Tamra. I love that Tamra is just still trying to hold on to this thing where she's a good person. She's like, oh my God, I just walked away from a fight, you guys. Let's make some snow angels, ready? Shut up Tamra. It's snowing. I hate Tamra. I still, till the day I die, Tamra will be my least favorite. She is a piece of trash. Yeah. Yeah, she's a horror show. So what else happened on that episode? That was pretty much it, right? Yeah, that was it. So we should probably, we have a hard out at 545. So let's move on to princesses. Oh my gosh. That's really fast. 545. Okay. So princesses, I continue to love this show. If you want to have a, like a, compare and contrast fights, you look at the way they find the Ocea. They look at the way they fight on princesses. And you know, it's just sort of like a few slaps and some, you know, some angry words. And that's pretty much about it on the streets of Great Neck, which I think is hilarious. This was the week that we finally got to see that clip that's been shown every single week since the show began, which is an hell spit crying, like sobbing so hard was that spit was flying out of her mouth because her sister is getting married and she's not. And I just thought that that was so pathetic. Come on, I'm living worse. There's nothing worse than a, than a spit cryer or a mouth breather. Oh my God. Who wants to get married? Who's just getting married? I blame Bravo for taking the self-respect of women. I mean, do you guys remember before Bravo started airing these stupid shows, how strong and powerful women were? Where are they? I can't remember anymore. Yeah, you're, because you're brainwashed now. Women have totally had their nuts chopped off by Bravo. Look at how women are now. These are women who have been raised on Bravo. They think that all you need in life is a man with a job. So disgusting. Oh my goodness, I, princesses does a lot to ruin the progress of Jews and women. And it's hilarious. I love it. Well, did the beginning, was this the episode that at the beginning they showed the speed dating with Joey, Ashley, and that Blonde evil monster? Yeah, that was this week. Um, why are, what's the Blonde girl again? Casey. Why are Casey and Ashley such bitches to Joey? I, I don't, I just don't get it. I don't know. Joey is my favorite. Because Joey's south shore and they're north shore. Okay. Well, guess what? Joey's pretty and they're both ugly. Yeah. Yeah. Ashley is really disgusting. That's why they're mean to her. By the way, you just, you just answered it. She's pretty and they're ugly. Yeah. Don't you know the way girls work? Yeah. Don't you know the way girls operate? Well, Ashley, you know, Ashley's pretty judgmental about how classy people are. She's basically talking every week about how fuckable her dad is, which is really not very classy in the first place. Then she's going speed dating and comparing everybody to her dad. I thought at least the other girl was pretty funny. She knew she's not going to bone any of the guys. So I liked that she was like, how big is your dick? Yeah. I mean, hello. Have you guys ever gone speed dating? I actually have gone. No, I haven't. How is it? So I went to this loft in downtown L.A. maybe like two, two and a half years ago. I paid like 20, 30 bucks and I went there and by the way, everybody was heinous. So I was like, okay, I'm not getting laid tonight, whatever. I'm in downtown L.A. you get like two free drink tickets. I'm getting my fucking drinks, like I'm not going to leave. So I'm drinking two beers and I'm like, I'm just going to be wildly inappropriate. Why not? Who cares, right? Right. So I did. And then at the end of the night, you write down a little card like these are like the three or five people that I'm interested in as friends or as lovers or as nothing. And like too many of them contacted me even though I was being dirty and lascivious but in a joking manner and I just felt like I let them on and I was a horrible whore. And I thought they can only contact you if there's mutual interest. Oh, well, I guess that means I might have said yes to a few of them. Someone had a few more than his drink tickets allowed. Okay, there was two that I was considering even though they were way too old for me. Well, what probably happens is that when you're a situation like that where everyone's awful, you just lower your kind of standards and then you like someone who you would never give a second thought to, you're like, well, no, it seems all right. Yeah, I guess I could. I guess I could have. You guys, the three of us should go do it again. It would be hilarious. That would be hilarious. And we'll pretend that we don't we'll pretend that we don't know each other. Yeah. I would totally do it. Ronnie, are you in? Yeah. I'm in just for the record. Every day for me is a speed day. It's because you leave quickly or because you get off quickly. I'm just I just get bored so fast. I'm like, what do you do? Oh, God, I hate this. I want to go home. There's TV on. I need to cuddle with my dog. I'm dating Internet porn. We're very happy together. It doesn't support me. I don't support you. It's exactly what you want. Yeah, exactly. It only requires five minutes a day of my time. Love. Five minutes. You don't like to edge. No, I just I get bored. Oh, I forgot what. Did I make it? Did I just make Ben clutches? You may be close to my closing is yes told me what that is before. What is it edging? What is it? Oh my God. You ride the edge between having everything in you and everything I've had. Everything out of you. What does that mean? Now I'm clutching mine. It means you're on the edge of glory gaga and you're not there. And rather than releasing rather than having a big explosive release, hold on tight. You're enjoying the the pre-release experience. Oh, oh, is that a thing that people do that's that's what Woody Harrelson's always talking about. He's like, yeah, that's what's interesting. Yeah, he says that he doesn't he doesn't climax. He just holds on to it and holds on to it because it's better for his soul. And then every once in a while he'll climax it's like the most amazing thing ever. And I'm like, Woody Harrelson, you're an alcoholic. And that's why you're not climaxing ever stop pretending it's because you're like a Buddhist. Shut the fuck up, Woody Harrelson. Let's see if you can do that without a bottle of wine in you. You stoner. Shut up. I'll tell you who's not climaxing. Only the girls on principle because I guarantee nothing have had anything in them beyond like a piece of matzah in the past three years. Actually, Ashley's edging on the verge of fucking her dad. That's what she said. It's grossing me out. I can't take it. And I don't like that everybody as she dates, she brings up her dad. She's just gross. She needs to stop it. She probably master base with one of her high heels, you know. She probably has a picture of her dad on there too. So actually was being a bit. You guys are clutching your pearls. They were being a bitch to sell shore because she was being inappropriate with the dates and she didn't have it and just like walked out of there. So I'm going to love watching Ashley get handed to her because later when there was a fight, Ashley comes up and she's like, everyone I'm asking everyone to go inside and asking everyone to go. Why does anybody listen to me? Go inside. Go inside. Go inside. Go inside. Oh my God. Can we talk a little bit about, I'm sure you guys talked about last week, but the drink tanky soon to be featured on Shark Tank, I'm sure. Could you believe when she went to that gay salon and was like, yes, they're going to throw us the most glamorous party ever and the guys like, yeah, we're putting a 12 by 12 tent on the sidewalk. She made it seem like it was the motherfucking can film festival. Yeah, like Oscars, you know, it was a cross street from the in it Great Neck, which I've actually been to. Yeah, there's a name drop, everyone. I've been to the in it Great Neck. Yeah. This is not the height of glamour, okay? Okay, so there was, you know, one of her gays that's helping her out is named Elton. And I was, I was tweeting the this episode just out of boredom. And you know, some of my, I'm going to say right up front, I'll admit that they aren't all golden. Like when you're live tweeting, it's like, whatever you can just pick out on your phone, like, sometimes they're funny and sometimes they're stupid. Like, I don't care. I don't filter myself. Who cares? Like five people are reading it anyway. Yeah. So I wrote Elton, your name, something like Elton, your name is a mix between sick and fat because it's Elton, you know, and I said, your parents hate you. So whatever, I just moved on. Well, I didn't at him or anything. He was just searching the princess's hashtag. So he wrote me, you got to get a bit better with this trash talk and then hashtag don't quit your day job. And I wrote back, says the person involved with a drink hanky, like really I shouldn't wait, my sister, you're involved with the fucking drink tanky, you're having a Twitter feud. I'm having a Twitter feud with some useless fag on Bravo, please, Mary. You are like below the golden, the Gold Coast bags, please back down with your drink hanky and he wrote back, oh, involved with a lot more things. Oh, really? I'm sure you are. Lame. Shut up. Oh my God. Why don't we? Well, let's fight with Bennett's you'll fight him this week and I'll fight him the next week. Alton. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I think Elton is cute now. Elton, Elton is cute. Yeah. I'm actually, I thought it was kind of funny that he tweeted me back. It's just so funny to people like you're on a tech, you're not only on a reality show. Okay. It's not like you're on survivor. You're on princesses. You're on princesses. Okay. Stop acting like you deserve some kind of respect. Like I'm not only selling out, you're selling out to be on princesses and you're not even like shaping your drink hanky like a beer koozie. Thank you. I was going to say that it's got like a straight seam in the bottom. So when you put it around, it has these like two little fins that come out. Yeah. It doesn't even wrap around nicely. The fucking envelope made out of Joanne fabric, sell fabric, shut up with your stupid ego. I know. I'm so glad that's what I was going to say is that there's not even any like basic artistry to these things or like structural like thoughtfulness. It's just little true two pieces of fabric. So do you. It's a pocket. It's a pocket. It's also like I have yet to understand why anyone needs one of these. Does anyone know why? No, because you know, you still get rings on the table through those. It's not like they're even thick cloth. They are seriously like the cheapest ass muslin that Joanne has in leopard print. You know that you put a drink in them on the hot day. They sweat right through that fabric and you get a ring on your table. Yeah. And it's sometimes good to get a little moisture on your hands when you're at one of these cocktail parties because then if somebody that you don't want to shake hands with comes up, you'll be like, Oh my God, my hand is soaking. I can't shake her hand because you're gross and hideous. Yeah. But I will say the drink hanky is very useful if you want to put a bunch of ice in it and chuck it at Chanel like that apparently that tall Russian battle accident. Amazing. Okay. So there was a fight that we didn't even get to see, but Chanel had a fit and started beating up some late. Well, then we see this lady and we don't see her face because she wouldn't sign the release forms or whatever. She's the size of the Empire State building. She seriously looks like she was played by Jennifer Coolidge this year. She is a she is a giant and she's tall. She's wide. And apparently she's Russian too. That was hysterical, but didn't she look now, I know that her face is great at, but bodily didn't she look like the same woman that got wasted at Kyle's white party and tried to hit on more. Yes. That Kyle said on it was like the same creepy woman just it's probably one of the producers on these shows that just keeps showing up and getting trapped at the parties. She was probably wearing the same white dress. She was wearing it. That's white parties never go smoothly, that's for sure. And I love that they were having a white party for a drink Hanky. And great now. Come on, wait, wait. Okay. Good plan. To make to make the stupid stupid coosies pop out more, which they don't usually pop out as because they have the tacky ass patterns like I can't imagine anyone outside of like Siosit buying those crappy things. Yeah. It's like you look at the table and you think there's just a ton of tiny little friend dressers over there, I know, and I was like, what a silly, I mean, you got this before this tiny tent that's on the sidewalk. I mean, this didn't, this hardly look like a glamorous event. It looked like some like very sad farmer's market with one stall and a bunch of people dancing in it by accident. So it's a, it's a, it's a drink Hanky premiere party, which in itself, I mean, that's pretty hilarious. It's a step. It's just, it's like basically like a step below GG's extensions, but I mean, I'm just going to say this, like that word, a Hanky is like the word slacks or panties, like nobody want our moist, like nobody, and all of those are actually involved with the drink Hanky. Those are words that I never want to hear. Yeah. It's also not a hanky. It's also not a hanky. What book is going? Yeah. And it's not a hanky either. It's like, it's like a little, I don't know, it's like a potato sack or something like that. It's like, you should call it the drink condom or something. Be edgy. I know what you're not, you're never going to get any like major brands behind it because it covers up the branding on the bottles. Yeah. That's really, really a bad business. Now I do respect that she is not, you know, she's trying to have a business. I just don't understand how that's going to work and I love that she's walking around telling people you want to buy a drink Hanky is $4.99. It's like, you know what? It's going to, it's going to like sell like Rojobith on the, on the boardwalk to don't talk about Rojobith. I love Rojobith. But you know, that's where it's going to sell it, right? No, it's going to sell in Jersey City. It's pretty much the same thing. The only people who are going to be interested that in that are going to be the Monto brothers who will try to invest all of their parents money into making it a success, the black water in it. Oh my God. Yeah. Well, no one seems to like black water. So let's hide it in a drink Hanky. Oh my God. We just found a way to make everybody money on this show. Yeah. Hide here. And by the time the people drink the black water and realize it's disgusting, they'll die of whatever is in black water and not be able to sue for their money back from the drink Hanky. Everybody's going to win with this proposition. I want 10% of that $4.99. Yeah. So the drink Hanky, well, the fight was amazing because Chanel lost her shit. I mean, Chanel has been like the normal one this whole time. What? She's been teetering on the edge ever since that younger sister got engaged. Yeah, she's been teetering on the edge, but she's just been the one she's edging if you will. Chanel's been edging. She's edging. She's having a. She's having a Shabbat edge. I don't even know what that means, but it seems inappropriate. I'll repend for a little bit and not only did she tell this girl off, she started kicking her ass and went ghetto style on her. I'd love. No, wait. She was knocking the ass. You know what it was? It was like she slapped her on the side of the boob once and someone pulled her away and the other girl came over and slapped her on the side of the boob. And that was it. And they were just like, you know, they're here. It was going and everything. But compared to other reality show fights, this was nothing. Only because they were being held apart. She kept going on her and then she went back out of her again. I don't know. And it wasn't the most ferocious thing we've seen. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should be ashamed of yourself. I did not have multiple huggies. You piece of trash. Shabbat shalom, go fuck yourself. Oh, my God. Sorry. Oh, my God. I'm mashing him up. Holy moshuggina's ball. Okay. I love that this show is not happy. Just having all Jewish people in the cast. They have to be as Jewish as possible. Holy moshuggina balls. Come on. Is this should just add it in later? Yes. I think it's all like voice over shit. They're like, guys, it's been five minutes and nothing Jewish has happened. Let's think of something. Moshuggina's balls. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Okay. So that show has been super duper fun. All the girls fight for no reason. Really love that. So now is losing her shit, watching her sob over her sister getting married. Yeah. I also love, by the way, Joey and Ashley fighting during that fight. We had like nested fights. And I loved she being like, Joey, no one likes you. Everyone said it. They don't like you. No one likes you. It was like classic like sixth grade fighting. She's like, do you like me? She's like, yeah. Do you have a problem with me? No. What are you talking about, Ashley? It's like, well, by that, but they're not telling you the truth. Dad. Where's my dad? My dad doesn't like you. That's enough. That's amazing. Yeah. She's she's the only one that I really truly just to test, but I kind of feel bad for that because she's such a sheltered little thing. And I know that reading all this shit about her on the internet. Well, is anything you're writing about this show besides us? No, but it has to be killing her because you know she's listening right now. Hi, Ashley. Hello. Ashley, you'd probably be more palatable if you didn't think you were so awesome. Like, if you maybe can just make fun of yourself, we would enjoy you more. And show your tits, girl. Yeah. Maybe finally blow your dad. Maybe that would make it more. I was just taking a sip when you said that and it started to come out my nose. Yeah. Make it come out your nose, Ashley, then we'll like you. Make a med, Ashley. Make a med. Make a med. Yeah. I mean, I feel bad saying I hate her because she doesn't seem like a horrible person. She just seems like, yeah, I think we said this when we first started talking about the show that she seems like she's just trying to be funny and she doesn't really know what an asshole she's like in the real world because she's so sheltered, you know, like she'd think it's funny that she can't be in a neighborhood with couches on the porch where I live in a neighborhood where across the street, there's a couch on the porch and I'm jealous because I don't have anywhere to sit on my porch and that couch is so nice. I was thinking those people are so smart using pleather on the porch. It's not about the couches. It's about porches because she doesn't like anything that has the word poor in it. Oh, that's true. All right, shall we move on to New Jersey? I mean, there was a lot more to talk about with Princesses, but we have only two- Wait, wait, wait, wait, what else happened on Princesses? Nothing, really. Erica claimed that she does work every now and then, but then she's like, well, but then at some of time, and I like going, it's like either beach or work, beach or work. It's like, I don't think that's the way it goes. Isn't that how most artists live their lives? She is. Yes. No, that's Casey. Oh, that's Casey. Well, and Erica is an artist when it comes to, I don't know, being an alcoholic. Yeah. She brings a certain artistry to it too. I love that. She sticks and strange teeth. I love that her mom obviously said to her dad, you know, we'll probably look like terrible parents on this TV show, and he's like, I'll take care of it, honey. All right, listen here, Erica, are you coming to work today or not? Because if you're not, I just want to heads up, because otherwise I'm sitting there waiting for you. And she's like, well, I don't know what, you know, I got stuff to do today. I've been kind of tired because I went out. He's like, well, you know what, you need to get a trade, you need to go to school, you need to get married. That would be great if you got married to someone with the jobs that my dad wants me to get married. But why would I get married? Okay, great parenting. Glad we had this talk. He's like, she is to your 50, but maybe it would be best if you found someone else too. Nice. Nice work. Did she mention that she does some PR work on the side or she works in PR could I whenever any of them say they work, I too now, because it's all lies. Yeah, because I accept I can believe her being in PR because there's a whole like army of PR girls in New York City that are just like Erica and that would make sense to me. Well, PR in itself is all lying and those girls that you speak of in New York also live in Los Angeles, I'm sorry, but like, that is a profession I don't fully understand because I don't know that it really is one. That girl just says she's in PR because she has a Twitter account. Yeah. Well, there are good people who do good PR, but I would say there are a lot of girls that seem to get into PR because they just want to go to parties. And they're the ones who are really bad at it. And that's the majority of the people that you encounter. Did you guys see the reboot of Melrose place? You know how they redid Melrose? Yes, because Melrose is the original is the best show ever and I was very upset by the remake. Yeah, I was too. It wasn't good because I'd love the original to, but in the remake, they had a lady who was in PR and it was like all about the down and dirty side of the PR business. And I was like gross. That's even grosser than I thought it was like it's even shadier and sadder than I thought it was. I didn't think it made me feel sad even remembering back on it makes me feel sad. So let's move on to New Jersey. Yay. All right. I am already in disagreement with you both because I am loving New Jersey. Why? Give me three reasons why. Just give me a hysterical oh she's killing me this season. She's like she's even more off her rocker than usual and I love it. I love that Caroline is kissing her ass now because she got in trouble last year. I love that Albert is about to divorce. You know that Albert's about to fucking leave for some 20 year old. You can just see it in his eyes. I love that. Oh, no doubt. I love that the producers are bringing in people to gang up on Melissa for Teresa. I think that that's hysterical. Yeah, I love I love all those side characters. They are the best. They're the best. Yeah, I do think that they are probably brought in because it's like they can't have Teresa be like a complete psychotic villain. She's already psychotic. So let her just be crazy and bring in all these other villains around her to go off and bless it. Like Penny and Jen and Jen. So we're those girls and AMC's new girls. Yeah. Jen and Jen. I want to know. Penny said. Penny really didn't say anything. Jen was like yeah, I'm not friends with her anymore. And then Jen was like uh, uh, Melissa, you shouldn't have a Jans said and like Teresa. I said to me the Melissa, uh, like a house, I want to get the listing. That's what I got to be lifting. Oh, that lady went back close to her field eyes. Yeah. And Kim D. Girl, that's why I like your Fred girl. I have to say this about Kim D. Kim D is, I mean, she's such a fucker. You know, she is such a fucker. She serves the pot. She's always up to no good. But whenever they put her on the spot. She always seems to really defend herself. She always like sneaks out of it very well. She typically delivers the goods, but she is starting to look like Jar Jar Binks to me. And it's kind of terrifying. Oh, so that's an improvement, I think. I mean, I don't know, but like her, she has like more of a snout every, every like a pointy snout. It's true. She has a little bit of a platypus thing going on. Um, but yeah, I think she looks like Sally Kellerman from mash. So I just really like or from or from back to school with Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like her, her mouth looks like she may have gotten it stuck in a waffle iron. Yeah. I just like her. I think that she's, she is such a dirty dealer and everybody knows it. And she does it on purpose to get publicity for her store and she just doesn't care. And you're right. When they put her on the spot, she's like, Oh, come on. Whatever. She's like, Oh, Joey, Joey, listen, they said this and I listen, I can't be held responsible for what Jan might say. They said it. And that's what they said. That's it. That's all. She did. I like that she said in her blog. And again, I don't think this is on Bravo. I think this was like her personal Facebook blog because Bravo hasn't given her one yet. But I love that on her blog. She's like, Oh, whatever, you know, there's misunderstandings. But me and Melissa, what good friends she forgave me. What good now? What cool? And I'm just, I just love that because you know that that's true that Melissa is like just going to be nice to the girl. So she'll leave her alone for a little bit. Yeah. 100% Melissa can't afford to fuck with that platypus with a waffle mouth. Yeah, you know, can be like, ah, whatever, you know, she's nice, you know, most strippers are nice like that, you know, always a jab, always a jab. Oh, it takes for a stripper to be nice as a dollar. Really? Listen, these women are all sharks circling and they all want their spots. They're going to. That's why this Jan girl, she comes out of nowhere. She's going to turn on Melissa because she knows it's going to get her on TV. And I love her for it. Yeah. I do too. I'm loving that whole, I'm loving that whole storyline with the other witches. When, when she came and she's so nice to her face and Melissa's talking about how she's going to write, she takes her girlfriends to lunch to tell them that she's writing a book about how to be, you know, how to keep a sexy marriage and they're giving each other looks like, can you believe this bitch? Yeah. Melissa's right. She didn't catch up on it. She didn't catch on to. So obviously they both know something and then she goes and tells everybody that Melissa's been cheating the whole time on Joe, which is so wonderful. Do you guys think that's true? Yeah. Actually, I don't think so. You don't think that those rumors that they're swingers? See, I actually like Melissa and I feel like she's in love with Joe and I feel like this Jan girl has more of a motivation to lie. She's in love with Joe's money. Who wants to like, so out with that, like, I'm in love with people's money too, but I'm not in love with like, rolly poly, like when he took off his shirt when they were doing that strip tease thing, I was like, that's a bunch of roast beefs tied together. I am not. He's still. Oh my God. He's still. Yeah. He's three foot six. I don't care. I don't care. I think he's, I think he is got a cute face and he's got like that sexy Guido body. I do too. I think he's totally hot and I love that he still waxes his butt, even though he's not a stripper anymore. And I love that he's basically owning the fact that he was a stripper because that's really fun. And I totally forgot and totally brought it up this week. Yeah. He and Nina are the only housewives characters who have just flat out admitted. Yeah, I was a stripper. I'm sure. No. So does Danielle Stop. Don't you remember? What was it? Flex and engage. What was it? What was it? Flexing the age or suggesting engage or? Yes. That was an amazing pole dance lesson. Oh, I love it. I felt the vivid images of her legs up and out. All right. Kim G trying to swing around that pole also. Oh, that was really sad. That was coming out geriatric strippers, not not cute, not cute. Also not cute. Richie. Richie grosses me out. Yeah. He's not looking. He's weird because he doesn't gain weight in his arms. He only gains weight in his torso. So he's got these super skinny arms and a torso that keeps them ballooning out. It's like some strange like cartoon from like the Beatles era, you know, like he's like a rejected character from yellow submarine. He actually has like a like pear shaped lady body. Yeah. I like that he's cross side and buck teeth. I like that he got new teeth like he's he's obviously got a fake grill and they're like buck teeth. I think that's hilarious. The recap on trash talk TV chick bomb calls him the Lebanese Dilbert. Yeah. I could see that. I can see there. Yeah, he's gross. But yeah, so they did that whole strip. Let's take class at a strip club. Okay. Housewives. Please stop doing the same storylines over and over. Isn't there a build a bear in Jersey? Can you do that? Maybe like there's other group activity. Yeah, I would rather them go to color me mine than watch them strip like and color me mine. It doesn't get more boring than that. I would want I'd like to see them strip that color me mine. That's that's that we get me edging with some body paints. Yes. I'm sure Brandi Glanville is doing that right now. By the way, did you guys see the photo of Brandi Glanville's dress falling off and her black thong hanging out when she left dinner the other night drunk as a fucker? No, no, but I've seen her like that a few times I've told you every time I see her at these parties, she's like, oh my god, literally falling down. She was leaving a party two nights ago and her dress was so skimpy in the first place in like see through and sheer. And it was just it was like being like a guy was trying to prop her up at like ripped the dress in half and her black thongs hanging out and she's smiling and drooling and it's just pure gold. So I'll put it on the Facebook page. Are we excited for next week's episode of Jersey? That looks like it'll be good. This is an actual fistfight. The rumble we've all been waiting for. I mean, that's what we saw at the beginning. Rumble. I'm like George. Prior to the season when they were doing like the the season preview and Joe and Joe get into it. And I think that there are bodies like being smashed up against walls. I had bunches are being thrown. It looks awesome. It's the inspiration for Pacific Rim, I think, you know, like the robots with the monsters. Like that movie. They're like, Oh, shit. Did you see that preview on Bravo? Let's get something going. Right now. Robotic monsters. I thought you were making a stripper joke. Well, that too. What's the name of the photos? About Rimming? Yeah. So yeah, that looks amazing. But what really excites me is I don't even think that's the main fight that they've been talking about because that fight took place. I think in posh, didn't it? But the that main fight though was was not in any of the previews. This is the fight that's been in all the previews. And if you remember, we had some gossip a few weeks ago where someone close to production claims that the fight in posh is not going to make it onto the show. Which kills me because I need that. We can't just have one massive fight this season. We need to. And this would be the second time there was a massive brawl that didn't make it on. But we'll see. We'll see. Because there's a Dominican Republican one also. I, by the way, I also I hope everyone, uh, did anyone else chuckle a little bit when Rosie accidentally called the Adirondacks, uh, Adirondikes? Yep. She's so disappointed when she gets there and it's not just 40 year old meat curtains playing around on a beach. Stop. She's like, she's like, I heard that there were chairs made of lesbians up here. Oh my god. Hey, I told you to put the lotion on it. Oh, fucking killer. I was like, wait, these are next to the cat skill mountains. I thought they were called the pussykill mountains. Oh, like things that don't even rhyme. Yeah. She's like, I wanted to go to burger pussy. Where are we? I'm now thinking of every like mountain range and how I can make it into like a dirty lady's sexual lesbian thing. She's like the apple lesbian mountains. Are we going to the apple lesbian mountains? Can we go to Yellowstone National Pussy? Yes, Clatura Semidee. We go to yes, Clatura Semidee Park. Hey, can we go to the Grand Canyon? Can we, can we go to, can we go to nine vagina agriophiles? She's very in eloquent. She hears things the wrong way. Hey, can we go to, can we go to the Hawaii, look at my pussy islands? Hey guys, poor rose. Hey guys, can we go to the Great Wall of China? You know, this has made me realize how many national like treasures I don't, I know nothing about. Like I can only come up with Grand Canyon and then repeat stuff that, wait, wait, can we go to Mon, Monument Pussy Valley? Hey, you guys, you guys, what's the eighth pussy of the world? Hey, see you guys. I want to go to India and see the Taj-Clith Hall. All of the female listeners have clicked off right now. Well, we're not really being misogynist. We're just using lady terms. Yeah, it's not misogynist if you're, if you're doing it for a lesbian. We're just, we're making fun of Rosie's pension for mixing national landmarks with lesbian things. Oh my God, instead of the channel islands, let's go visit the flannel islands. I can't think of any more landmarks. She's like, can we see the Golden Gate Melissa Etheridge Bridge? I'm really dying to take a trip to Birkin's Stockholm. I have, I don't know anything about history. I'm like, I'm trying to work in Katie Lang and to say Katie Lang, can we go to the, can we go see the eerie Katie Langale? Can we go see that, my fagra falls pussy? Just stop rhyming, just put pussy on the end of everything. We are. Can we go to the, can we go to the pussy, my canal? Oh my God, you guys. The real pussy. Edit this out. No, listen. I want to apologize. I am begging you. Unfortunately, unfortunately, I am in charge of editing today and you know how I am with editing. I'm like, just throw it all in there. Who cares? Listen, listen, we are not above being third graders. Okay. Next week, we'll do puns with farts the week after that with penises. So don't worry. It's coming around to everyone. So ladies, if you're offended, it's, it's, it's equal opportunity. We will do men genitalia next week. Yeah. If you're offended, blame Rosie. We were just being, we were just talking through. We're just making a joke over the fact that she mixed out our own decks. If you're offended. Go, go, get down now. Hashtag menetalia. Oh my God, you guys, you have me right on the edging. Um, there we go. That was fun. It was worth it. I think, I think we should just end on that note. Yeah, I think we're done. And on that vaginal note, I think we should end on that pussy too. Okay. Well, thanks everybody so much for listening. Oh, I'm not hosting Ben. You are. You do the good things. Okay. Thanks everyone for listening. If you are, if you are offended, you should write a letter to someone else, but not to us because we don't care. Um, so follow us on Facebook, you really, really should, facebook.com/watchwhatcraphens. Um, leave us a five star review on iTunes or a four star, I don't know what, what stars you. Five stars. Five stars. That's the top. Um, follow Matt at life on the M list on all his platforms, Instagram, Vine, Twitter. Follow Ronnie, Ronnie Caron on Instagram. On Instagram, find me at trash.tv and my website is trash.tv.com. And, um, follow me at beside blog on everything. And also, if you are a big brother fan, we are resuming our, our webcast, uh, the, the TV click colon big brother this week. So look out for that. We're going to be live on Thursday night, about 20 minutes after the eviction Pacific time. So it will probably be about 10 20, um, Pacific time. So I've got a catch up on my big brother, everyone who likes big brother. And even if you don't want to speak brother, you should watch our, uh, web show. Are you going to make me take a shot again? No. Yes. I want, wait. I'm making a drink tomorrow. Oh, we're drinking tomorrow. And then we're going to have a drink after a big fat dick night down the street. That whiskey was delicious last time. Oh my God. So are you telling me I have to manscape and put on a cute outfit? Yes. You guys, I'm giving you advance so you guys can shave your nets because we are going to big fat dick tomorrow and anybody in Los Angeles who wants to join us, all three of us will be a big fat dick Thursday night at food bar, um, yes. And I'm going to set up a card table and we're going to be sending it by 10 glosses. We won't be there till like 11 30 because we have the podcast first, but we will be signing glossy eight by 10s, um, but yeah, come and to watch, to watch this. My dick's not glossy to watch this, to watch a stream live and to, uh, make your hedging and to make comments during the podcast, um, we'll be doing that on our Facebook page at Facebook.com/watchyourcrapins or on our YouTube page, YouTube.com/theTVclick. Click as in, click as in CLIs QUE because we're a click, not like a TV clicker. We didn't even think about that part when we came up with that name that we always have to explain. It's click like CLIQUE, not click CLICK. Well, maybe if these people had an IQUE, they'd get it and click it because we have IQ. That's gonna be our little tagline. Oh my. Oh, that was fun. And if you guys like to, uh, watch, um, Jeff Lewis interior therapy and or property envy and or below deck because I'm the only one who watches those three, I will start posting stuff about that on the Facebook page. So if we don't get to it in the podcast, we can still discuss it on the interwebs. And we'll talk about Jeff Lewis next week since we didn't get around to it this week. Yes. I will watch this week. I will make a promise to watch all those shares. So we'll do it next time. Yay. Hey everybody. Thanks so much. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. [inaudible] Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. [inaudible] Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the Internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schlesinger, Slicing Driving Friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. No knowing Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down Internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer, just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Todine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. That was up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing, hashtag savings. Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crap-ins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of monopoly? Introducing the best idea yet, a brand new podcast from Wondery and T-Boy about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with and the bold risk-takers who brought them to life. Like, did you know that Super Mario, the best-selling video game character of all time, only exists because Nintendo couldn't get the rights to Popeye? 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