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That's audible.com/crapids or text Crapids to 500-500. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap is a podcast dedicated to all the crap that we love on Bravo. I'm Ben NANDEL here from bsideblog.com, and with me is Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hi Ronnie. Hello, and also the one, the only, the incomparable, met with feels. Yahoo. Hi Matt. I need an announcement like that every single week, but make it better next week. I like that. Well, maybe give me some theme music. We will. We'll use the theme music that we used on whatever our award show is called. What do we call the crappies? We'll give that theme music that we use there for you. Thank you. You just have to wear a ball gown with sequins. But it was probably doable. I thought you were going to be like done and done. Ronnie, you have to wear one too. Sorry. Okay. We all will. We all will. We're just going to get flammered up. I don't want to see you and drag ever Ben. No, neither do I. That's going to hurt me too much. I'll be in a tux. We're going to look like a 1987 NBC special, you know, that airs on Saturday night that is to honor 25 years of NBC, except it'll be for Watch What Crap is. I'm down. Be Arthur will be there. It's going to be amazing. Gosh, we have a huge amount to talk about, but before we do that, everyone, be sure to follow us on all our social media networks, facebook.com/watch what Crap is. You really have to start following us. We're now closing in on 1,600 followers there, which is phenomenal. We're so happy about that. So much happens on that Facebook page. People are posting gossip, photos, just funny commentary. If you're not liking the Facebook page, you're not getting the full Watch What Crap is experience. Am I right, guys? Oh, yeah. It's become so easy to run that page because really all we have to do is go on it and read through what everybody's posting and then press share and put it on the front page and boom, we're done. Yeah, it's amazing. And he means there's actual button spelled C-H-E-R and press it. Share appears and sings her new awful song and goes away. Yeah, it comes out in like mothball smelling fishnets in a bad room wig and starts jiggling out a jiggling out of princess's tune. Do you believe in life of the Bravo? I wish it was that song and not it's a woman's world, which is the worst song in the history of ever. How does that go? Did you not see her perform on the voice finale last week in the rock star wig that you buy in a bag from CVS? Well, I saw a picture, which is what I'm talking about. That's the broom wig. But I didn't watch it because all these singing shows have made me hate singing. Like the other day, I was humming and I was like, "Stop it, shut up." They've killed the joy of music for me. Well, you're going to have to start singing more because after your little interlude, the other week on Watch What Crapens, all of our fans now hate me and Ben and just would prefer you to be on this podcast alone singing the entire show. Do you mean all of our listeners? There's like two people. Wait. Sing more and press me. I sing a little more and they're going to be like, "Shut up, just like everyone else in my family." Oh geez, it's a wedding. Go, go, let me guess. Ronnie's going to sing. Oh geez, someone died. Oh, let me guess. When beneath my wings is about to pop out. It doesn't matter. We still want to hear your beautiful voice from time to time, guys. And so anyway, follow us on Facebook. You can follow Matt at Life on the M list on Twitter and Instagram and Vine. You can follow me beside blog on Twitter, Vine and Instagram as well. And Ronnie is, what are you these days? Ronnie Karam on Vine. Just follow me at Ronnie Karam. I'm Ronnie Karam on Vine, two words. And then, yeah, you have to follow me on Vine because that's really all I do because I think it's so fun. I sit there and record myself and then laugh for like a day. And then on Twitter, follow my website, trashtweetTV for funny recaps, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. Yeah, go do that because it's Ronnie's new. It's Ronnie's new site in case you didn't hear last week. Movie Guys is shutting down in a mere few days, few hours, which is sad. We should have a moment of silence, I know, which is really hard for us. So let's do that. We don't know that. Well, once we get to Real House has a New Jersey, I'm sure there'll be a lot of silence. Okay. Boring. But actually, I think that Lisa and I are going to talk about it on banter with Ben and Lisa. Oh, Matt, are you coming on this week? I forgot. When are you all taping? Tomorrow, we tape on Thursdays. At what time? We can work around you, Matt, probably. Let me look at my work schedule. We'll email. We'll email offline. Okay. Sounds good. So, yeah, but we're probably going to talk about TV Guys, and it's sad. It's ending. So if you want to hear, I feel like I'm going to share some inside scoop about what it was like to start up TV Guys and what the whole process was when we sold to Bina Murray. So tune in if you want to hear about that. Wait, when are you doing that tomorrow? That's not fair. I'm not going to be on that one. Well, you can come on. It's too bad. Come on. No, no, he can't. He was able to be on it two weeks ago without me. It's my turn. Whatever. It's been a year ago to talk about Winnie Houston. Oh, that's right. So, Ronnie, sorry, but you'll never be on the Whitney Houston dead podcast. You guys, we're going to piss off Tammy Sue. She's already like, this is not about Bravo. Oh, really? Are we going? Are you trying to get me started again on the people who complain about, who complain about us entertaining them for 62 nights? No. We're just starting. We're just starting. How is it already crumbling? No, no, don't let it crumble. We will not let this castle crumble because we are several princesses. Not from Long Island. Oh, that was a terrible segue. I'm sorry. That was a terrible segue and it also prevented Ronnie from saying something horrible about Jesus. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Well, we also have one more announcement before we start talking Bravo. We are going to be adding a second podcast for those of you who have been up our asses about it. Yes. Thank you for being up our... I mean, God, I'm sending like Blair from that stupid show. Not thank you for being up our asses, but thanks for wanting more and we're going to be doing more. We're going to be doing a big brother podcast. It's called the TV click and maybe when big brothers over and we don't all hate each other, we will talk about other shows as well. Yeah. So look for that. Well, typically, technically the podcast is called the TV click colon big brother. We're sort of taking a page from Bravo and style network, you know, big rich Atlanta princesses Long Island. The TV. Yeah, we're just going to be spinning off of it. Big brothers. Yeah. So we will be starting out tonight and you guys will not be hearing this podcast tonight, but we're going to do a surprise live stream of the show on our Facebook page. So hopefully you guys will like it and we'll do it again next time. So when you hear this, it was a surprise in the past. So I hope you enjoyed that. The big surprise that it already happened, that's the surprise. And if you guys do like it, you should let us know what other shows you would like us to talk about because I think that I'm obsessed with Survivor, but I don't think you watched that running. You know, I do sometimes I don't like watching people starve themselves generally. And I like a little more caddiness in my shows. I don't like things outside. So are you like Warren? I don't like even watching porn that takes place outside outside. You are. You are missing out. You know what? You know what you should do right now? You should get on tumblr and you should type camping porn. Yeah. Or is that true? Is that a real thing? John telling you. I'm not doing that. I don't like camping porn. It's gross. It's like everything's gross. What about glamping porn? Ooh, good call. It's like porn, but kind of like sassy. He doesn't want pine needles near his unmentionables. Well, who does really? Well, there are some probably who do. Wow. Wow. Well guys. There's that pause that you wanted. Okay. Well, can we talk a little gossip before we get into it? Let's get into it. I want to discuss for a second Nini's wedding with 400 plus guests and apparently the bill for the wedding was $1.8 million. And by the way, her show got canceled. So enjoy paying for that, Nini. They got canceled. What do you mean? Didn't, didn't, uh, didn't knock it picked up? Oh, she's got so many shows. She's got so many shows. New normal. Yeah. Her saying back. Oh, we were, we were thinking for a second, like, no, Nini's spinoff is still happening on Bravo, but yes, the new normal, the new normal has been canceled by NBC. Yeah. So the woman knows who butters her bread, which is clearly Bravo. So guess what? She will be a housewife for the rest of time. She will be. And I wonder, uh, I wonder what sort of like fancy opulence we can expect to see at Nini's wedding. Will there be any sort of like, you know, Phaedra parks type touches with like doves and chariots and certain sort of rhythmic dancers? Probably not. Um, it took place in a lot of Anderson Cooper. It took place in Atlanta. So I'm assuming that, uh, Peter and Cynthia catered it from bar, whatever. Yeah. It was all in the backyard of bar one. Oh, who am I kidding? Chef Roblek clearly was the caterer because he's the crossover star of, um, Bravo these days. That's true. And I'm sure the, uh, the wedding entertainment was provided by our candy burrs. The song is going to be. She's like, ladies and gentlemen, I wrote this song with Raleigh about Nini and it goes like this. Thank you ladies and gentlemen, Rala, get over here, Rala, and why don't you sing Rala. Hey, hey, hey, Rala, why don't you take a turn singing? See, the way I see it is that Rala can sing real well. Rala sing. We should not be doing this on Paula Deenney. Oh, we should give it some time, we should give it some time. Did you guys watch Paula Deen today? I know this was my brother. Yes. Well, well, it's like she thinks she thickens her accent as much as humanly possible that she'll be less offensive. It's like, don't you understand that makes you more offensive Paula? To hear the way the people in my kitchens talk to each other, it hurts me inside. Okay, so they say the n-word in the kitchen, so let's all change focus now, stupid Paula. All right, sorry, that's not bad. She sounds so. I've seen nobody today, so I had to talk about it. Let's see. Did you guys see the preview for Miami, the new Miami season? Yes, of course. I used to think of you as a sister. And now I think of you as the weak sister. How fun is that? I'm a wicked sister. I wonder what's always have more fun, yeah. It's going to be really, really good. I've been waiting for an Adriana Leah so down. You know what? I'm going to do her y'all. I'm going to tear it down. Why aren't we talking about the best part, the fact that Alexia is returning as a full time cast member? I know. That it makes me so happy. Brownberry. That's the first time that's ever happened, I think, that someone... She earned that one. She did. Well, let's be honest, during season two, she was not going to let it go, and that season two was all really just another tryout for season three. Yeah. I'm only a little sad. I'm a little sad that Karen Sierra, Dr. Karen Sierra, is not back because she was such a great foil. I mean, we hated her, but she was great. I loved watching Alexia go off on her. She was a great, awful person to have on there. So I don't know who they're going to pick on now. Well, she's not back, and neither is Anna, which I mean, I thought after Anna came with all those, all that evidence at last. She literally had like a filing cabinet behind the pillow. They said that they're both still going to be on the season. They'll probably be like Camille on Beverly Hills this year where she's just not in the opening credits, but they're definitely still playing a factor. I don't like that they're... I don't like the idea that Leah might be the bad guy, and I refuse to believe it. I think we're all going to still like Leah. I'm going to still like Leah, but I will say that Adriana is my favorite. No. Leah is my favorite. Leah is like, honestly, I'm not saying this because she actually listens to the podcast. She is one of my favorites out of all the real housewives. She's probably like top five if not top three. Wow, bold statement. I love that in the preview. You spend my money. I thought of you as my sister. Did you guys by any chance go see World War Z at the movie theater this weekend? No, I'm unemployed. Thanks for taking me. I did not. Okay. Well, this was hilarious. The opening like 20 seconds of the film, you know, before like the blackouts occur and, you know, the apocalypse takes over. They show a few different like TV sets and one of them actually featured Mama Elsa and the real housewives of Miami and the fact that that show that we love so much got, you know, a half a second of screen time in this massive box office hit, I just thought was hilarious. I love that. I love that. Mama Elsa does look scarier than any of the zombies in World War Z. There's no doubt about that. World War has actually told us about this the other day that Mama Elsa was in that zombie movie. And we thought he was just kidding. Like we started cracking up. And you were talking about the real Mama Elsa. Oh, wait, did I tell you this when we went out to breakfast? Yes. Yes. I told you this. Sorry. Yeah. No, no, don't be sorry. You're telling it for the for for other friends. Yeah. I was saying I thought it was funny in the beginning because we all it's just assumed you meant that she was like a zombie face. Yeah. No, it's okay to repeat the story. Otherwise, how is, you know, Nicole Johan Rond and Jotz and all our all of our fellow friends are having to hear all this stuff? Well, if you were following you guys on Vine, they would have seen the fact that you guys made me eat the first bagel I've eaten in the past like three years. Now you never said that. I didn't even notice that we broke your bagel cherry. You broke my bagel cherry. It had it had sealed over. Oh, we have not even discussed gay marriage, the whole gay marriage Supreme Court thing. Gay gays. Okay. You're woo hoo. Like I like I have somebody to walk down the aisle right now. I know. It's so fucking sad. No, no. This is. I don't have an excuse anymore. It's like before it's like, well, it's illegal. I don't have the right to be married. Right. No one likes. Aren't you going to get like phone calls from your mom now going like, um, hello. Now you can get married. Get on it. Come on. Come on. My mom wants to throw my, I think my mom wants to throw a wedding. She's like, get, get this, get your act together, boy. I'm just excited because it means that Bravo can now give us about 25 more wedding specials with all the gays. I'm so excited about that. I'm just like, can I just blow you on the couch, Jeff? As long as long as Kevin Lee is the wedding designer. I'm in. Yeah, that's true. All right. Let's talk. We are talking a bunch of bullshit. Yeah. Let's let's get right in first princesses New Jersey princesses. I'm like, go on. We've got to talk about princesses. Okay. So just Jews in Jewtown. Okay. My God. Are there. Oh, in the world. One thing that I love. So the show opens up, they're at Amanda and Chanel are at a boutique trying on hideous dresses and they let me guess in a strip mall in a strip mall. Yeah, it's there's actually a secret back door. That's how you get into the club is through the dressing room. So they're they're, they're imitating their mothers and it's actually kind of funny because they're doing this like, they're doing this thing. I would never, I would never, but the thing is that what I thought was really funny was that these girls were making funny impersonations, but I don't think that they realized that they are actually turning into their mothers like they're like, they sounded just like themselves. I know. Impressions of their mothers. Exactly. Like, our mothers are so crazy. They're like, don't sit at the corner of the table. You'll never get married. Ha ha ha. I'm like, you're the one who said that. I mean, she didn't really say that, but I'm just saying like they're like, they are, they are their mothers. I've never seen a cast of women, of women, and I, you know, I try not to make fun of women's looks that much or people's looks, but seriously, I've never seen a cast like this where you can see exactly how they will appear when they're 43 years old. Yes. Like it's crazy. First of all, you know, Chanel, she is going to cut that hair. I give her three more years to have long hair and soon it's going to be like a short little perm. I guarantee it. I've been in synagogue enough times to know what Chanel's hair is going to be. I can see it. The button chop sideburns, you know, those are coming the poor thing that's her heart. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They are. She's going to look like gay Altman from Batura synagogue. Okay. That's where I. Wow. Lovely woman. Lovely woman. But she's going to have gay Altman's haircut and let me tell you something. She is a lot younger than gay Altman. Okay. Um, yeah, those are the juviest Jews I've ever seen. I was, I was talking to my friend the other day because I told her to watch it and she was like, Oh my God. I mean, seriously, you actually sounded like Erica later in the show and that's how Erica talks. She talks like this with a day's whole talking. Why do they, for people with those is that big? You think they'd be able to breathe a little bit better? Hey, I'm hot. I'm pretty. What's wrong with a little flirting America. That's, by the way, exactly how she sounded. That was not a joke voice. That's exactly. That was like, I had her here. I'm telling you that. And Chanel's ex boyfriend, who ran off with the 19 year old, the infamous ex boyfriend shows up. I was expecting like this young gorgeous boy and he know you were not. He's like, Oh, he's like a mouth breather. He's totally a male. I don't talk a lot. And though I called you, you never called me should why you never pick up the phone. You did it. No, you did it. So you did it. Oh, these women are so desperate. Why are they so desperate there? I mean, they're pretty in their genre, right? They're pretty for girls of giant noses and voices that sound like they've been working in a truck supper 15 years. Yeah, sure. They're like pretty for a bar mitzvah. Why girls so desperate? They need to get some self confidence. It's like they're beating themselves up over these losers. That guy's a loser. So now run. And they're, you know, they're also like such nice girls, generally, honestly, they more or less are like nice girls, goody two shoes. Why do they look and sound like they have been living hard for 45 years? I mean, Ashley's face, people should look at Matt's vine because Matt did a little thing about Ashley's face where she said, I look like I'm four years old and that's like, Oh, you mean 400? And I mean, I watched it last night with our friend Jenny and she had the exact, almost the exact same thing when she said, I look like I'm four years old. And he goes, you mean for T years old? Yeah. Someone posted on our Facebook a picture of her really close up. That was me. And I was like, Oh, wow, I mean, that was, yeah, that's like late 40s. You know, not that there's anything wrong with that unless you're 30. It's like, you know, that expression, black don't crack. I think that no one's going to be like, do crack real fast. Black don't crack, but you do. Yeah, it's like Jew is like, I feel like if black, if black don't crack, Jew is like Philo, though, like one touch and you've got like lines and crumbles and like, get away. Yeah, they may be doing better in the economy, but not in the facial department. God bless their hearts or at least, honestly, it's really just these girls. It's not really Jews in general, it's just these stupid Long Island girls who spent, you know, three months basting in the hot sun of Great Neck. And now they're just screwed for the rest of their lives. Well, this show was only on a couple of days ago. And I honestly can't remember what happened. They went to a bar. I can tell you. I took notes. I took notes, guys. So first Ashley had her 30th birthday party in a strip mall as Matt alluded to. Oh, is that this week? Yeah, it's where the dude had a cup of hummus attached to his junk and you could dunk like carrot sticks up in it. Yeah. The dad gave her a wedding ring. It's like, honey, I don't like seeing that finger bear. I don't like seeing that tummy. I'm doing that. I'm going to put a daddy baby in here for Christmas for Hanukkah. Well, I liked on my blog, or actually, it wasn't my blog. Someone said that they referred to the ring as like a Super Bowl ring because it was so huge and chunky. Like, she could actually just like put a bed in there and sleep inside this ring. It was enormous. Yeah. That girl's too much. I've never wanted to see somebody get robbed in my whole eye. And by robbed, you mean you wanted her hand to be cut off with a butcher knife? Oh, my God. I love that when she then goes to welcome everyone to her party. She gets it. And she's like, so I want everyone to go. She's like, points out everything she's wearing. And everyone, look at my new ring. My new ring. I wanted to just smack her little ass off that podium and hope she just fell in that cup of hummus and drowned. Yeah. Like when she went up to the guy and she's like, hey, are you Jewish? And he's like, do I look Jewish? She's like, what does that mean? Like look around. What do you think it means? She's so dumb. Also notice that at that same party that the person who's the most eager to dip in that handsome black man's hummus crotch was her dad. No, well dad. But then Jeff, Amanda's Jeff. You're like, I don't care. I'll have some hummus. He's like, baby, I want to see you in that bikini, baby. Yeah. That's hot. You and your mom. Yeah. Like that, baby. Here's the cock with hummus on it. Where do you go? And then meanwhile, then I don't know if you can see the shot of him dancing with Amanda where he literally put his hummus filled mouth up on her crotch. Gross. You know, I'm still not going to lie. I really like hummus. I know. It's getting rude. That's what's happening. So I was really glad to see the Jews representing the Middle Eastern culture and their party. I don't even think they knew that. But I still don't technically watch this show. I clean while it's on. This is one I actually, because I just feel too guilty watching it because I say a lot of Jewish things. And then I just feel, I don't know, I feel like I'm too old to be watching this. It's okay. It's okay. I'm Jewish. You have a Jew immunity. You're safe. You have a Jew. Do you just say it out? I did. I got, I'm getting sassy. Mm. So it makes you feel guilty watching it. And it also makes me crazy that all the songs are like teeny-bauper rock, like they're, you know, like it was The Hills when they're 20. These bitches are not 20. Stop playing that music. You guys need to be playing like temporary. I love their theme song though. Is it like you get it or something? No, it's The Scissor Sisters off their latest album and it's fantastic. It's a good song. Every time it comes on, I'm like, yeah, like this is a, this is a, this is a show now. This is a show. All the songs that come on during the show were like, I met a boy who was killed. Oh my God. He's so cute. He's a boy. Well, at least it's not. 13. Stop it. Well, at least it's not a dreidel, you know. It should be. It would be more fitting. It would be or the Christmas, Christmas croissant. Yeah. That she does kind of look like a dreidel, a dreidel with wrinkles, just spin her around. God bless her. She needs to never, ever turn to the side if she wants to get married because she's cut some Ruth Buzzy going on the match. She does. Yeah. She actually said so nice. Down money on a ring. You need to just, yeah, I don't like, I don't like doing that, but you know what I'm going to say. Come on. Yeah. You know, all these girls, they just really cracked me up. Also, by the way, have you noticed that whenever Amanda enters like a party or a store or anything, the way she says hello is to do that like crazy screech because, yes, I do. My ears are still bleeding. Sorry, listeners. Yeah, whoever was running on the treadmill at the gym right now just fell on their fucking head. I know. Well, that's what these girls will do. It's not my fault. Please. Please. What else happened? So okay, so then they went to this club, whatever, whatever, and they had the hummus out of the crotch. And then they, then we, then Chanel's boyfriend came and like tried to win her back, but I'm glad that she stood up for herself. She did not go back to him, so that was good. And I like that they made it try to seem like it was like this real life, like this thing that was unplanned that was happening. Like, did you know that there was no audio from the phone when the guy called up and they had to like, it was very quiet to seem like it was a real phone call, but then you go to his car and there was like totally like a whole camera rig inside of his car. Yeah. Okay. This is not spontaneous. Of course not, he, he senses TV cameras, even homely nasally guys are like camera hungry. He didn't sense TV cameras. They had like set up lighting in his car. It was like that. No, I mean, that's why he showed up. Yeah. Obviously. So then they went to the girls. Yeah, but no, no, but we need to discuss that. They did have it all set up in the car. Yeah. All set up. Well, I mean, I know that you just repeated the line that I just said, but I wanted you to expand on that and say that it was kind of bizarre. Well, what that they had set up all the lighting, the clearly they had said, hey, why don't you go over to Chanel's house? We'll put some lights in your car and you can have a conversation with her in your car. Right. And that, it was just, it felt like, again, we know that these shows are fake, but when you prove it, like when you put it like that up front and center, it bothers me. Well, you know, the thing is, I feel like Chanel, like Chanel was actually surprised. I think she didn't realize what was going on. But the guy, maybe she's, maybe she's a better actress than Barbara Streisand. I don't think so. But I think this guy had no intention to get back with her. He just wanted to be on TV, but she actually was taking this conversation very seriously. She thought it was like a real conversation because she wound up crying at the end and he wound up like let giggling and alone in his car. Yeah. She might have been surprised between that and her dancing at the beginning of the episode, which I also posted on my vine doing the cocoa booty drop or whatever she called it. I'm going to say that she kind of owned this episode. She snatched it from Ashley. She did, especially the way she was driving with a Caesar salad in her left hand. She knows what she's doing. I hope that that Caesar salad had been blessed previously by Melania's ass in a grocery store in New Jersey. Probably, yes. Well, Melania's ass is very kosher. It's the rabbis. Creepy. Okay. We've just crossed into creepy. Yeah. That is creepy. I'm sorry, everyone. Did not mean it that way. Maybe at that part out. Speaking of fake things, I'd also like to talk about these girls when they were driving up to their Jewish camp to meet single men, which, by the way, a horrific idea. If you're going to meet a husband in a Jewish camp, first of all, I didn't want to talk about Jewish camps because... Wait, I'm sad that we didn't get to go there because I mean, Ben, you might have these from your past, but I was really excited to see what that looks like. I was just assuming that it was wet hot American summer with a canter and some extra curly hair. Well, I hope it was that sort of Jewish camp. I suppose the ones in the history books. You know what I'm saying. I know. Whenever they... Yeah. When they said they were going to Jewish camp, I was like... Don't shower. I hope you've got some wet naps. It's on Chroma Council. You guys. This is the same. [Singing] What? We're going to go to a camp to meet some single men. Oh my God. I'm Jewish, everyone. Listen, if we offended people, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I really am sorry. But anyway... Don't be sorry. Fuck them. No, I don't want to hurt people's feelings, but I'm sorry. You know, I had to make the joke. But, you know, it's been about fake things. I don't know if you guys noticed on their drive up to this Jewish camp, the whole conversation they had about who knows what was so poorly edited because, you know, there's windows everywhere. So sometimes they're on a highway, sometimes they're on a suburban street, sometimes they were in a city, sometimes they were in the middle of nowhere, and I kept going back and forth. It was like obviously like 30 different conversations edited down to make a totally different conversation that never took place in the first place. Sometimes there was a salad, sometimes there was no salad. I was hoping that when they said a big storm was coming, because of course they're driving and it was the dad calling, "Girls, just want you to know there's a big storm coming. Be careful. Actually, are you okay?" And then he couches on porches, "Do you need me to come out there and hold your hand?" But anyway, he called and wondered a big storm was coming and I was hoping that it was that Hurricane Leslie or whatever the hell. Sandy. What was it? Sandy. Sandy. I was hoping it was Sandy. I was like, "Oh, yeah. I hope we get to watch these bitches go through Sandy." But it wasn't. I can't even imagine this show having a very special Sandy episode. It'd probably actually hilarious. What is up with these dumb girls? When they go to the bar and they're like, "Oh my God, I normally don't go to a bar like this. Who goes to a bar like this? This is a bar? Who? I wouldn't go to a bar like what kind of bar do you go to? You're in Connecticut. Hello. It's like the best place ever. They prefer to go. They like to travel into the city and go to gay bars in New York City and that's how they look for men. So this is a whole new world to them. Where their Claire's headbands are appreciated. Exactly. But, you know, the thing is, what was funny is they're like, "We are in the middle of nowhere. We're in the middle of nowhere." Okay, bitch. You're in New Millford, Connecticut. Okay. That's like 20 minutes from where I live. You're in suburban Connecticut. You are like still in the radio distance of New York City. You're not in the middle of nowhere. Just get on frickin' Route 7 and then go to 84 to 684 and you're in the city. Shut up. Yeah. Just tap your wine in. Yeah. I don't know what anything that you just said was. But it sounded like an East Coast version of the Californians from SNL. Yeah. It's like I took 684 to 287 to the Hudson Parkway. I forgot about it. Not less entertaining. Yeah. No, they acted like they were up in the Catskills for crying out loud and they were just in suburban Connecticut. Ben, Ben, you're acting surprised that these people acted like assholes. I know. I know. Let's also, can we also talk about Babs and her cougarific outfit and the night at Body English of Long Island? This is my mother and she's hot. Hi, boys. How's my outfit locked, boys? Oh, God. She is a piece of work. Here's my question. When we get to be that age are we allowed to go wear slutty clothes and hit on young boys? I'm already doing it. I'm already wearing clothes that are three sizes, two small for me and hitting on children. Yeah. I'm going to make sure everything that I wear looks like it was made from repurposed disco balls. That's kind of bad school. That lady had knees down at her ankle, she needs to remember back in the 80s when there were things called leggings. Hey, man, how are my leggings looking? I had her voice down in Pat last night and now I'm just doing a general nasal sound like a mosquito. Yeah. More or less gets the point across. Yeah. That's pretty nasty. I mean, I talk a lot of crap about my mom on this podcast and when I saw that episode, I just wanted to call my mom and say, "Thank you. Thank you for being abusive in your own special way and not this." Yeah. I have to also talk about Erica at that club when she kept on reaffirming that she was hot and pretty and had a right to flirt. But didn't anyone else bust out laughing every time she called herself hot? Yes, because again, her face is busted. Yeah. I don't even know what to say because some of those dudes were drunk and clearly they were wearing beer goggles, I get it, but they were all way cuter than her. Well, they were also on TV, you know. Yeah. Oh, that's true. I keep forgetting that. Yeah. I just love that they keep talking about how hot she was in high school because I'm like, "Could she go to high school with a cast of Fiddler on the Roof?" I was like, "For those of us homosexuals that don't know anything about musical theater, was the cast of Fiddler--" Kelly herself off because that's not proper. Was the cast of Fiddler on the Roof ugly? Well, you know, there's-- Oh, my God. Yes, you're three daughters. And if they don't have giant noses, the community will start a Kickstarter campaign to buy them fucking-- like, you have to be bust. You have to have a giant-- you have to be as chewy as possible to make it in that show. Wait, is that the story? Is that the story of Fiddler on the Roof? I've done it three times. It's not necessarily the story, but they're all porn-praying a lot. Listen, to some people-- some people think that Topol is extremely hot. So just mind your manner. Wait, is one of the girl's names, Topol? No. He's the guy who played the-- not the Fiddler, Tevya. In the movie, he's like a famous Israeli actor named Topol. Yeah. Topol. Topol. There's another famous Israeli actor who also would be worthy of Erica. Yeah. So it's basically about this dude, Tevya, trying to get his daughters married off because that's-- you know, I mean, basically, it's the same plot. It's the same show. If you think about it. It's the dad just trying to get the daughters married off so he doesn't have to keep buying cows to support them. That sounds exactly like Ashley and her father. Yeah. It's like all the cast, really. Now that I've said it, I can see it. I think I guess it's a Jewish thing. Are there any famous songs from Fiddler on the Roof? Are there any famous songs? I could slap you right now. Surprise, sunset, sunrise, sunset. You know that-- by the way, you know that Erica's parents look at pictures of her from high school and then look at her now and they just sit there and go, "Is this the little girl who was hot? Is this the little girl from high school?" I seem sad. I remember her being so pretty. Where did we go wrong? Sunset, sunset, sunset, sunset, sunset, sunrise. I think that's what's running. I would get plastic surgery for my daughter. I know that song. How about tradition? I'm going to show that. We used to see that in elementary school. There are a lot of songs. If I were a rich man, doodle dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee. All day long I'd buy chin and clams for my little brat or to. I can imagine Erica's. If I had a rich man, la da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. I want some menish edits. I'd reserve the right to cheat on him. La da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Let's play tennis. Trishan. Trishan. Trishan. Trishan. Trishan. La da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. That's going to be all her song and like that. Trishan. Let's play tennis. It's best best tennis. You guys know as a semi-professional tennis player how upset this past episode made me. Were you jealous? Were you jealous that you were not raised in the same tennis friendly environment as this long island? I used to, well I went to school at Syracuse so I am familiar with playing inside of a bubble which is what I did for four years but did you not see the children run, I mean those children were running away because Erica has a foul mouth. They were running away because she's a hideous beast. She is not attractive. I mean girl get some jills there and spanks before you go do some sports. They're like who invited Ralph from the Muppets onto the tennis court, we got to go. Wow. Well the thing is it would be- That's in there. You know the thing is who cares like what she looks like, it's just that she calls herself hot. That's honest with you. You know you're doing it to yourself really. It's true. I can't say it in a nicer way. Stop saying you're hot, okay? Let us say it's a nice day outside. People say it about yourself, hon. Okay so what else happened on that stupid show? Those are like the main things. I mean the girls, half the girls end up dancing in a new Milford, Connecticut with a guy who was like remember when she asked that guy, she's like I eat Jewish, he's like hell no. Right but then I know it was great but didn't you kind of see that as like a set up to a horror movie? I wanted it to play out like they would then go back to the rooms and this bartender would be a serial killer and take them out one by one. Kind of like one of the, what was that movie with John Q-Sack and Rebecca DeMornay gets like beheaded and put into like the dryer at a motel on the side of a road when it's raining outside? Oh yeah, yeah that's the one with Ray, what's that guy? He's a scary guy with that, with pop marks, he's in every movie. Frank Whaley. No. Ray Liotta. Ray Liotta isn't it? Yeah. I thought Frank. I thought it was a movie with Frank Whaley wasn't it? I don't know who the hell you're talking about but I'm talking about Ray Liotta, John Q-Sack and Rebecca DeMornay and oh and that and Amanda Pete. If only the princesses of Long Island could have been in that cast as well. Ashley would have been like oh my god there's a head in the dryer, oh my god there's a little stain on the bed. I have to throw off. Why was she going to throw up in there because there was a stain on the bed? She saw a stain. Okay. They even show us the stain. And then they show her like fake gagging in the bathroom. Stop it. Stop it. The first time she sees come she's just going to fucking fall over dead. Okay so I'm sorry but like when I'm watching the show I'm going she's clearly a virgin right? Well clearly and you know the first time she sees come she's going to call up her dad like dad dad this white stuff came out of this white stuff came out of the boy's penis and he'll be well was it was it was it was it hummus was it hummus he sure wasn't hummus? That dad knows exactly what it tastes like smells like and how how slippery it is. Wait excuse me did I just make you clutch your pearls knuckles pearl necklace oh but I'm bummed. Oh you're bros but yeah I think she's even a virgin to herself I don't think she's even touched her. No there were a few of you so wait now we're calling it the williams the williams the williams she has she hasn't put her fingers I bet it isn't ugly Betty. She hasn't dipped her fingers in her hamantaschen sorry that's for the Jews out there. You guys don't get it but the Jews know what that is it's a special cookie from pearl. Is that like is that like the consistency of a belta fish? No it's a triangle shaped cookie with jelly on the inside. Ben let me ask you this so for you listeners who don't watch us on Vine we did go out to breakfast the other day do you only eat at chewy establishments like bagel shops? Bagel Brokers the best bagel broker I love I if I could I would have a bagel probably for every single meal for the rest of my life. I love bagels and cream cheese so much. Yeah I do too they are delicious they are the that's why the Jews are the chosen people bagels. Yeah honestly I can't argue with that. Yeah even Christians say it the Jews are the chosen people. If you have a fresh bagel with cream cheese at that moment you're like you know what let's end all this anti-Semitism the Jews know what's going on. Let's all live together if only if only all those ignorant people could could have a bagel and cream cheese once in a while then they would then they would appreciate us they would appreciate our people. I'm worried that now I'm going to gain 500 more pounds because I'm addicted to bagels all all of the sudden are again after my hiatus. Don't worry we will we will control you. I don't know that you can. I know you really can't control a bagel what when you have an urge for bagel I tell you I mean I want to pump her nickel bagel right now. Well I'm a sesame bagel guy. Mmm mmm mmm mmm yeah yeah maybe it looks so hot in that bikini yeah yeah the bagels so hot baby yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna make love to it. What else happened on the show I hate it you know I hate to admit that I'm I just kind of hate this show they make me crazy it makes me so mad. It is like the funniest show on TV I can't believe you hate it it is so funny. Do you think Erica is gonna get in trouble for what she did? She will but her boyfriend's like a pussy so it won't really matter. That is true remember he's a nice Jewish boy. Is he though because he looks like a big like Midwestern meat head. He does look sort of like he should be on like Archie or something you know yeah right doesn't he sort of have that look or like one of those generic comics that you don't you never remember the name for like that one like Jughead or whatever the one that takes place and I don't know you know like those stupid you know don't listen to me I've had enough. My brain is full. How did you not remember Jughead who am I talking to I don't know I I read the far side I didn't read Jughead or whatever that is. Um so let's move on from these bitches ok has this train to camp gone off the tracks. Um I just that these girls train to camp girl throwing up at a stain and then not understanding about what a bar is and like crying over an ugly guy and then her dad coming in and saying oh honey one day you're gonna find somebody to to think you're semi pretty and maybe talk to you in the morning and pay all your bills like can we look for something a little bit more in our men like how about you'll find somebody who thinks you're fucking amazing and you deserve better than that ugly little shit like these parents are terrible they give these girls all this money and raise them to be dependent on ugly hairy back big nose losers come on get together Jewish American parents there's more to life than a dick with money alright teach your daughter some math and get them a job I beg to differ I beg to differ hmm alright okay so never mind I'm not gonna I'm not gonna go down that route right now okay so are you gonna tell me off go ahead go ahead um alright so shall we move on to one of the real housewives sure let's get rid of New Jersey fast because it sucks okay um let's see and and not to make people like turn off the podcast because we're not enthusiastic this week I want to save OC for the end because it was the best thing ever oh my yeah we will get there so I took a few scant notes on New Jersey my first one is Melissa having a therapy session at the publishing house she goes in for publishing meeting and next thing you know she's talking about her dad cheating on her mom and crying they're on the couch while I her agent and like the publisher and the associate editor I'm saying they're nodding awkwardly yeah and the only reason she's doing it is because she hasn't written a fucking page for her book and she's trying to get sympathy from the people who have already given her like hundreds of thousands of dollars she's like do tweets count for a manuscript or yeah no kid do you mean tweets about Teresa being mean to my children count yeah she's ridiculous and I want you know I'm sorry look I'm sorry when you're a parent dies of course that's horrible and I'm not even going to make fun of that all I'm going to say is since when you know her father was a saint a second ago now her father's a louse because she needs the attention and why doesn't she ever talk about how nice her mother is her mother ended up getting fucked over all those years and her dad's a fucking saint you know what I don't like that I don't like that dads can go out and do whatever they want and the kids are always on the dad side and always treat and she even said it like I always wondered if my mom was doing something wrong that is so gross and I understand that she was a kid and all that stuff but your mom's alive how about talking about her once in a while and what a good person she is and like being nice to her instead of some dead guy who was a jerk and left you guys for days at a time stupid wow I think that they should put that on one of those audio Mother's Day cards that you can open that are really loud and obnoxious yeah I like the idea of that Matt we've got a whole other podcast to get through today you're gonna have to I'm going to have to go right I also I also like how Melissa was sitting there saying how she's like I don't know if I want to talk about how my dad was a cheater I don't know if I want to share that with the world you fucking idiot as a camera crew right in your face who do you think you're talking to your talking to your priest no you're talking to Andy Cohen yeah you want to share it with the world now because the types are starting to turn against you and you need a little more attention and you can't get attention you can't get attention still because your dad passed away now it's got to be a new twist to it so we can feel even worse for you shut up Melissa these women these women know how the you know the waves are ever moving in this show and she can tell that she's on the downward swing and like Ronnie said it's it's time to try and gain some sympathy votes at the last fucking second you know but I have to say though guess what too late I know that she's on the downward swing but I don't think she's on like that much of a downward swing like I don't know you can't be on that much of a downward swing when your castmate is Teresa of the monster Judee Chae yeah exactly and also you know what I just love that no matter what Teresa does everyone still loves Teresa no I don't love Teresa I'm sorry I do I love the idea of her on the show because she's so batshit crazy and deluded and awful I like that she's there because it makes it interesting but I don't like her I find that she's a vile human being oh yeah me too I mean in real life I'd run the other way but I just think she's so hilarious by the way I will take her over Caroline any day of the week but I spoke with I've talked with a producer on a reality show that will go unnamed oh look at you with your non name dropping name dropping yeah my name dropping but she worked with Teresa and she said that Teresa was so sweet but dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb like look I will take a sweet dumb person or animal or you know like a dumb golden retriever that's just you know I'll take that over I mean pit bull like Caroline yeah oh can we talk about the latest though at least the other ones aren't pimping out their children like her it's like lady you know it's bad enough when they're kids and you get them in agent you shove them out there and make them tap dance and shit like that but these are slubby like 30 year olds leave them alone like let them live on their own terms does Bravo think that we give a shit about Caroline's kids because to be honest I don't and if you're gonna show me any of them at least show me the saddest fattest one not the boys yeah I think it's hilarious that Caroline talks about how Albie you know since since his law school debacle he's kind of felt like a failure and he's really looking to get into adventure that's gonna cause cause I hate no I when they cut back to her crying about him like getting kicked out of that school stop milking that fucking cow it's drained well here's the thing if you want to set yourself up for success don't go into an industry that has like a 90% failure rate don't open up a restaurant that's like the last thing you should do okay you know what you should do sell cars how about that people always need cars sell a car do that and and also this browns she's like oh well you know Albie's like the head of the the finest restaurant in New Jersey the browns down so he's gonna give him advice what what kind of advice do they need from him he's telling them to cut he's like make grilled cheese sandwiches but cut him into cut him into circles so there's no crust yeah thanks thanks and meanwhile um since when would you ever take cloner advice from someone who runs a catering hall like when was the last time you actually had like good food at a catering hall okay you are not coming in from La Bernadam mr. Manzo okay no you're coming back and see the mac and cheese tray has crust on the top get on that would you get those waters filled up and shut up with your culinary advice and then someone wrote either on a Facebook or on my blog that little town New Jersey is actually a chain there's like a little town New York and it's like they're like two or three of others of these restaurants that's not even their own original restaurant you know okay yeah yeah are you surprised I know no I'm surprised it because here's why I'm surprised because normally a chain has like a certain decor level that they you know the Starbucks are always gonna look nice they're gonna have nice tile they're gonna stay updated this one they're buying tile from Home Depot breaking it into pieces and putting it up against an aluminum tin wall that was also bought from Home Depot have you seen the inside of the brownstone yeah this is since since when do you get to like experiment and come up with your own dishes if you have a chain by the way like what's all this right don't don't you buy a franchise and it's like no you're gonna be putting the bloomin onion and the bottomless spinach artichoke dip on the menu to that so I did some homework and I went on to Yelp and I'd like to announce that little little town of Hoboken has a stellar two and a half star wow and that was the latest review was from like a week and a half ago so it wasn't like people it wasn't what you read it read it read it read it I love when you do your homework I'm really impressed but yeah I'm gonna pull it up but one person star one I'm giving I'm giving you five stars thanks Matt one person said that it was like that there's a bathroom attendant they said you don't need a bathroom attendant at this place okay hold on I'm bringing up the Yelp review well maybe they're just there to hold your hair back after you have one of those circular grilled cheese as you paid fifteen dollars I know okay so let's see there was a review that I liked I'm playing okay this guy gives it one star he says it's a bar that tries to be a restaurant that tries to be a bar that tries to be about New Jersey what a mess this place is others have described most of the problems already so I won't reiterate those but I do have to say to management this is all in caps do not have a bathroom attendant I am not going to be gilted into paying to pee you're not a nice restaurant you cannot have an attendant just stop it right there um was that one of us because what was that me I agree nothing makes me feel worse than when they try to force a mince on me or Kleenex on or any of that shit guess what I already have mince in my pocket because if I'm on a date and I want to suck some face I am prepared and guess what I can tinkle on my own okay ready ready here's another one this is another one star review the only thing that bathroom attendants are for by the way is to sell you coke at the abbey yeah you mean coca-cola of course coca-cola classic all right so this is coke because I've always been so mean to the bathroom attendants at the abbey and um hello there are drug dealers I'm going to be so much nicer they are the drug dealers at the abbey running oh my god you guys when I show up thin in a couple of months you're going to know why yeah just keep it between us okay did I just buy real diet secret was just revealed yeah coca-cola the owl is eating diet the owl is she the nose diet all right so here's another one star review ready okay wish I could give a zero the first six beers I ordered were not available when I went to order another of the seventh beer I finally settled on they were now also out of that one the waitress was by far one of the biggest morons I have ever encountered the two tables next to us were getting items taken off their bill for issues they had the food was fair at best if this was their only fault I would let it slide when we finally got our check there was an extra entree and dessert that were on our bill we got the bill fixed and I figured out and I figured out our nightmare was over but I soon found out the place charged my credit card twice these charges are no longer pending they have gone through I called five times before someone answered the phone the host has said that no managers were available and that someone would get back to me this is yet to happen stay away and that was that was today actually guys I think some people are obviously gonna jump on there and give them shit just because they watch this show and they they hate them but if you said that some of these reviews are in there before this past episode aired then it has to be legit right here's let me ask you this let me ask you this do people only get on Yelp to be mean or do people sometimes get on Yelp to be nice people love to be nice on Yelp believe it or not they do love to be nice because they want to be like I found this great place and it's awesome five stars this here's another one here's a two star one from the middle of May where someone says avoid the buffet really third rate the crab cakes were the worst I've ever had almost no crab soggy and way over salted runny eggs undercooked fatty bacon weird sausage the face sucked all around not worth the $23 what are they charging $23 for I don't soggy you know crumb cake bread crumb cakes with a dash of crab okay can you tell me like what is what is the scene in Hoboken like I don't know understand what where it's in relation to other things like is it is it a dump no it's cute it's actually so it's right across the river from Manhattan a lot of people a young people our age and stuff young professionals have moved there because they're cheap prices it is cute and they do have like it's it's urbane it's like it's nice it's a nice place but I would never go to the man's restaurant there well it's just another business that mommy and daddy bought us you know and they're wearing they're wearing their black water shirts of their failed business in this business to publicize that terrible business like oh my god they're just a mess it's like the only way this could be worse is if albie's taken care of their legal issue well I love also that they were trying to make it sound like it was gonna be like you know not your typical Jersey restaurant we're gonna have like ingredients that are locally sourced I'm like okay so it's gonna be like old cans of like tuna that you found discarded on the side of the Jersey Turnpike like he's like these are New Jersey peppers that does not make me want to buy it it's like you know what else isn't that soil it's like you know DJ Paulie D's semen so I don't want any I don't want any produce that's been grown in Jersey now been banned by Governor Chris Christie yeah you know I don't know what it is that I find so offensive about those boys because they actually do seem nice they don't seem very nice people they seem really nice I like that they're close as a family like their family dynamic I like actually Caroline and her big lug of a husband like I think they're funny and they're kind of nice but what they're also just so disgusting at the same time like part of me is like wow I wish I had you know I wish I could make a family like that you know I'll tell you why I agree I actually think that they are generally nice people and they do have a good family but there's a smugness and I think that's actually a little annoying there's something that's like yeah we're the man's is we're the one we're cool we're like we're like hey we're the man's a brothers we're right like we're the life of the party I'm like oh not really like you guys are nice guys but I'm not gonna give you that automatic pass yeah like all they really do is sit around and laugh dominate pizza and stuff and like make boob jokes like I don't care but which actually I make I make fun of them for that but I'm jealous and I want that to be my life yeah really well I I think the best I like to make boob jokes and eat pizza I think that's only if they're my boobs I think the best kids are Kathy and riches oh by the way he got hot again yeah I feel getting arrested I feel I feel bad for Victoria because I used to think that she has such a great future head oh by the way I don't mean that she's hot she is hideous beast she's not a hideous beast yes she is guess what the the natural hair hair color is not doing her any favor I don't I think she did not look her best this episode I feel like she's on a downward slide but she is she is pretty and if you know she could get it together it'd be nice my concern with her is that did you also notice that she got the freshman 15 clearly yeah that's what I was trying to imply without saying it but um because I'm the mean one all of the sudden I'm yeah you're so mean I would never say anything I already made the Holocaust joke I need yeah I was gonna say hashtag Schindler's list yeah I'm on this yeah but ours happened a long time ago oh and it's already been forgotten so happened to thin people um so horrible horrible here's why I'm concerned about Victoria Paula Dean of podcasts I'm concerned for Victoria because when she made a little toast at her birthday party she she goes thank you all for coming to me and my father's birthday like oh man she does not know how to speak English she is this is this is what you get for going to the regional like Catholic school in wherever you know okay I just trashed her but I did like what she had to say about sharing the birthday with her father about oh she was very sweet oh she was very sweet and and someone on my blog commented that if you contrast it with Ashley who spent her whole speech making people look at her rings and her Louis Vuitton and everything it makes you realize how good uh how well Victoria has been raised I'm just saying her grammar is really bad and I have and I have concerns about our future yes well you're you're totally correct about that but I think she's going to be look really all in life you're you're supposed to be better than your parents right like every parent wants their kid to be better than them well Richie runs a gas station and the mom was like a hairdresser and makes cannoli kits so I think she's already doing pretty well so let's just give her a hand very good point yeah I'll give her hand Victoria you're okay you know what grammar can be learned class cannot be hey listen you might not even need it you're on Bravo now you don't need you can make a career out of it look at Gretchen with her hey we don't have plans of Orange County has changed the platform of TV what what a phenomenal mom but anyway back to new jokes um so let's see it's then later Melissa was talking to someone about when she went to the birthday party last week and she was I think she's talking to Joe or something and she's like oh no sorry to Caroline and she's like I almost felt like Teresa wanted me to be uncomfortable I'm like no shit Sherlock you're just realizing that now you're such a stupid idiot the funniest thing was I'm watching that and like Caroline is not even processing anything that Melissa is saying she's just waiting to get into the confessional to say something bitchy and you know to start turning the tides on Melissa I mean can't you see like that is clearly Caroline's agenda this season I feel like Bravo told her now you must turn on Melissa get in the confessional and make it happen well they've showed that little clip of Caroline saying well you know Teresa said this and this about Melissa and now I'm starting to wonder if it's true I mean I thought that that was going to come after a big fight or something it was such a minor thing what what happened like what was it I don't even remember what it was that got her so upset but why would she be mad at Melissa I don't know I actually think that Melissa I mean at some point Melissa's probably snapped at her and I do think that we saw this in the season preview where she's like you know something along the lines of mind your own fucking business I feel like she's getting that from Melissa and Teresa but she's been getting that from Teresa for years and years so it doesn't phase her anymore but I think one time that Melissa probably said that to her Caroline goes into bulldog bitch mode and is like oh how dare she cross me she's like I'm just trying to help them she is going to be banned from cafes and all egg salad privileges yeah she's not going to have that skin sack to do makeup for her next music videos come on like Lauren Nancy because that's funny you lose so much weight you're just wearing like a potato sack of made out of flesh oh no I've got one I've got like a coat all year round made out of little Caesar five dollar cotton reddies oh my god this um by the way so I still like Melissa but I still am I'm having trouble backing her up on this four day hospital thing you know she came up again it happened last week it came up again this week or she was like look we took him to the hospital in the wee hours of Sunday and then Monday and Tuesday I was sick and then Wednesday I went that's two days I'm sorry that is not two days the wee hours of Sunday is more or less in the same waking era waking period of like Saturday I'm sorry yeah but when what went to Risa and Joe Giudice have better math skills than you you should run outside and jump in front of the next bus that goes down the street I know that's really what I'm thinking it's probably that bad math that causing such a crumbly bathroom just a lot of bad calculations and measurements going on Ronnie this may sound funny to you but after all these years of being an adult I have never owned a bed I have lived a box spring and bed frame lifestyle for years and years and years and over the weekend I finally got my very first bed and I got it from article got a beautiful blue bed and the people from article came they delivered it and they brought it upstairs and they assembled it and now I am the proud owner of a very beautiful very comfortable brand new bed well yeah not only do they deliver really quality furniture they put it together for you I mean it's a lax experience article believes in delightful design for every home and thanks to their online only model they have some really delightful prices too articles knowledgeable customer care team is there when you need them to make sure your experience is smooth and stress free I can vouch for that article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more to claim visit article.com/crapins and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout that's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase up $100 or more. This episode is brought to you in part by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now you're driving cleaning and even exercising but what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who saved by switching saved nearly $750 on average and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts multi-task right now quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 23. Potential savings will vary discounts not available in all states and situations like this this stucco can hold up to 45,000 tons yeah okay yeah yeah no that's like yeah I'm really good with math you know 45,000 tons that's like what the equivalent of like uh you know like uh three boxes of Kleenex right I don't know what I'm talking about guys I'm sorry I don't know what's happening to me. Do you know what all of this is making me realize what what how much I miss married to medicine yeah oh god I was just thinking last night thank god that shows my oh honey that show is too stressful at least this show is funny this shows like a cartoon like when Theresa and her brother started fighting in the gym and she threw something out and I was like ah ha ha ha like I can well then I can laugh at but the married to medicine thing how do you not laugh at marriage and medicine marriage medicine is one of the greatest comedies of the year um there were some funny stuff mostly you know Ronny I'm just gonna make you do that ever I mean nothing makes me happier than that seriously and I feel like you make me beg for it when your little quad lit I love her yes she's not on right now so I have to let her go I'll tell you I'll tell you who is on now and who I want to see a lot of I want to see nothing but her is Theresa's trainer aka Nicole Reggo Pypas oh my god all right Theresa left your lads up honey yeah whoa I'm I'm Nicole check out Pypas and I will get you into shape she's smoking a carton of like Benson and Hedges she's smoking a carton of Benson and Hedges filtered through a giant vagina yeah she in rose she found that vagina and concentrate on work for a little while your trainer I just love her name I'm gonna use her name as much as possible Nicole I don't know it's a Greco or Greco Nicole Greco Pypas I cannot get enough of that name I would go to a restaurant I would review a restaurant on Yelp named Greco Pypas with a five star review even without having eaten there yeah even if it's not even hyphenated but luckily she is exactly Nicole listen if those if those if those two those manzo brothers put together a restaurant called Greco Pypas I would go can they just get rid of the manzo brothers and add Theresa's trainer and that other bulldog lady that they had on Linda I want everyone from Theresa's world to be the cast because all her friends are amazing as much as I complain about Theresa this show would be fine if they got rid of everybody and kept Theresa and her like squadron of evil smoking hag lesbian monsters I agree I agree a hundred percent her because Theresa's friends are like quintessential jersey and you know for as much as Theresa hated Danielle Stobb what she doesn't realize is that she surrounded herself with an army of Danielle Stobb's exactly Danielle is only the beginning only the beginning right I'm I actually believe that Kim D is way more poisonous than Danielle Stobb ever was yeah because Danielle Stobb has actually shown some vulnerability and we see that and she's sort of like this scarred broken woman Kim D is just a vile wreck with hair fangs I love a good hair thing I love it Kim D and I might be wrong on this because I have not actually checked my facts if she has a bravo blog or not but I was reading her blog on stupid housewives and it's posted from her Facebook page she's like hey kids it's me Kim D I'm so glad that you're liking me on the show and don't worry lots of exciting stuff coming up like more fashion more dumb shots like oh she's crossing the clown she's like Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors got eaten up by that plant and barfed back out and then went into fashion hey I used to work in a flower shop but then the flower ate me and threw me up so what I do I went into high-end fashion welcome to Posh Boutique we're right next door to a little Caesar's and a Michaels and a plastic surgeon it is Danielle Stobb coming out right now from her rhino plastic did you guys watch the dance did you guys watch all the repeat they had on the other day yes vintage maybe vintage I didn't watch those seasons I think the real housewives until late like I thought it was too classy I was like I'm not watching reality shots and I finally got into it because of a comment war on TV gasm it was like 300 comments of people fighting and I was like all right I'll read it I mean I'll watch it read it wouldn't that be we should do that we should do fiction you know how they do those fiction novels based on movies we should do that for real housewives okay what do you mean what do you mean what do you mean you know they like when you go to a bookstore like when I was a kid you could buy a book of Star Wars and it wasn't written before Star Wars it was written after a novelization novelization yeah we should do that for all the housewives things oh I used to buy the I used to buy it they made them Melrose Place into a book series while the show was still on the air and I bought yes like that how gay is that gayer than you talking singing fiddler on the roof probably not well that was when you were an adult too um do I have to remind you that I was born in the 80s you were is that true yeah how do you I was born in the 80s that's all you get girl lean lean I forgot what I was even talking about I'm you've completely were you an adult were you an adult when the original Melrose Place was on TV actually I don't think so I think that was when I was in high school I was in middle school well oh my god if you stop it started in middle school and then it ended up it premiered it premiered in 92 it went from 92 to 99 oh so I was in high school yeah yeah embarrassing hmm anyway I'm completely in hate with myself right now and remember success okay here I have questions I have questions you guys so do you think that all of these people have to go to a gym 45 minutes away from home because nobody in their neighborhoods will allow them to feel like is this the only place to allow you cameras to come in and have crazy people fighting I mean I don't understand why do they all drive 45 minutes I think it's the only I think they go there because it's the only gym that allows trash cans to be knocked over and no one gets mad at it and also allows you to get on a bench press and grunt as if you're being annually raped by an elephant and no one's gonna say a peep not even a cold Greco peepus I don't like that Teresa spotted him because that was like her spandex camel toe up in his grill and it just bothered me yeah that was a little incest ease but did you say incest ease yeah they're like is that like the new totes it's like besties but incest ease they're totally besties they're still around incest ease we killed Ronnie with offensive language Ronnie is Ronnie's delegates I'm just old now like I'm basically sitting here like watching myself age I'm like looking at the age spots on my hand is basically what's happening right now by the way oh sorry they keep portney ford smith no I just can't stop I'm on a muttering rant does anyone else get annoyed that Teresa and Joe keeps saying that they haven't seen or spoken to each other in a year when they've clearly seen and spoken to each other within a year at the very least at the reunion which was what in November or so yeah November that drives me nuts why they keep saying that what's wrong with him that they haven't spoken to each other since the reunion but that was like you know listen a year plus right or were they saying that was this film before the reunion this film that the reunion wait when where when did they have the two seasons immediately back to back that was that was the last season and the season before and they said that they keep saying that it's been a year but it hasn't been a year I don't think it's been a year unless I don't think that's right because even then there's still a reunion that they had to wait no you know what maybe maybe it is right because maybe what happened was this was filmed before no it could not have this had to been filmed after reunion because so much of this is about Cathy having called her father-in-law coward and that was you know what I'll bet they started because the reunion for last season wasn't until almost a year after they finished shooting member yeah they've shot those scenes back to back together so maybe the Cathy stuff is after they shot they probably had the reunion and started shooting like the next week so it's all still yeah they just they delayed the reunion and then they started filming that's correct yeah that's probably what that's probably what happened well that family is so in hate with each other I mean the listening to Cathy's mom you know she won't even talk about her brother like they hate each other and didn't we find out last year that that woman was given away because her parents just didn't want to raise another kid or something because the the parents the the Cathy's grandmother couldn't have a baby so her so the grandmother's sister gave her the mom like she said that's what it was it's like okay I know that we talked about this before but we all still agree that that is fucked up right totally I mean that's that this family is so deeply fucked up like they the fact that they go through such phases of not talking to each other and go in these ridiculous fights it's just it's sad it'll end up happening to Melania and Gia if my family hadn't and that then I would I would be very against it but I grew up in a very tight knit Lebanese family it was huge like tons of cousins and every you know they all got in a fight like all our parents got in a fight over money when we were like 18 and we spent every holiday together and we were all so close and then now it's all dead wow to this day yeah to this day no one no one matured is that the cause of your mother's drinking oh man hell that's for sure did I sound British you said it you're like is that the cause of your mother's drinking is your mother a common whole you know it was partly you know I'm sure that she pissed people off at points but no I mean it was money they all got into a big fight over inheritance blah blah blah something or other isn't money money money and sex make people crazy yeah and no one can it's you off like your family because they know every insecurity you have because you grow up and you know I'm sure I don't know if your families were like this but I'm sure every family is like this where they say family is everything you know you never go against your family those are your everything and you know those are they're always going to be there for you well and you tell them shit and the second they turn on you girl those that those secrets are flying out why do you think I'd react out there do not be close with your family that's a lesson why do you think I packed up my little sob and drove three thousand miles away as soon as I could did you how old were you when you left 23 like I came home from college I moved into a house with some other homosexual so I could like spread my wings a.k.a. legs and fly and then I was like you know what California is calling me I want to go drunk dance like a drunken whore atop a bar in west Hollywood and so I told my parents that I got fired from my job at the Discovery Channel but actually quit my job packed up my car drove to LA and it's been 10 fucking years wow yeah you don't go homeless to your parents anymore I didn't go home for the first time ever for Christmas this past year and why would I ever want to go home the arclight is empty I can actually drive and park at Target like the between Christmas and New Year's in LA is the best time of the entire fucking year oh it's amazing yeah it's me and the Jews it's amazing yeah I only spent one Christmas not at home and it was not a happy one I was not pleased I know I'm still I'm in trouble for not going but like I don't think I'm ever going back no don't say that I think my talk was too effective now I'm like getting I'm like getting sad and emotional and I'm thinking about like all of the you know secrets that have been swept under the rug in my parents house and we just covered it up with gin and tonics oh well that's what that's why I got invented gin and tonics it's what it's supposed to do they're like dirt cover it up oh god no I'm gonna I'm gonna go back don't let this happen to you don't let don't beat the recent Joe can we move on to something happier like the real house was of Orange County please god it's the only thing that I watched all week that I loved oh my goodness I don't actually have like too many things to say about it how could you not it was two hours of glorious amazing well it was like it was glorious but I'm just saying it was like more like it was like washing I was washing over me yeah I I almost like I my brain I had a few things I had a few things can I can I just toss out a few of my favorites sure Lynn Curtin's face oh my god honey you look beautiful whoa when she was just banged up after plastic surgery yikes Lynn Curtin's face I mean that's noteworthy but really if there if this two hours was about anything it was about the ever-changing face of Vicki Gundelson oh well that that was a that was a standout for me and we'll go there but I was gonna say that if it proved anything it's that Gina belongs back on the show she's the best thing ever her children are hot amazing and I want to get with Shane Shane who's now is so disgusting he did not apologize he still has not apologized for how we treated his mom oh he's fucking this he said it was just a buying oh it's he's such a hassle this is the little one the little one is turned out to be really oh and and he seems bright and smart and I'll take Colton I'll take Colton yeah no one's a porn star name well are you referring to Colton Haynes I don't know I'm just saying that like I don't know no I feel like the only cold on our block are you kidding I don't I have no idea who Colton Haynes is but I feel like every Colton is a porn star wait I feel like there's one named Colton Haynes well I know the only Colton I know is from Survivor so I do not want to think of that oh well he's going into porn I have to tell you yeah I mean like Stephen Daggle from Big Brother have you ever seen those porns he does not do much for me he's like oh yeah girl yeah oh yeah girl he's an he's an SDB and he likes to ride okay I need everybody to be quiet about Stephen Daggle getting it up the butt for a second so I can plug my video on our Facebook page because we do a retrospective of Vicky Gumbelson's face okay it's called it's TV go watch it you're gonna love it okay that's all thank you very much yeah that was the best thing was watching Vicky's face change and I also liked Vicky's line you don't mess with you don't mess with my family and you don't mess with my money and Gina messed with both yeah and by the way it's not just family and money there's like the list of things you don't fuck with with Vicky is it's it's so long I mean I guess the point was like you don't fuck with my keychain you don't fuck with my deodorant you don't fuck with my beat dazzled blouses that I receive boxes and boxes of to wear on the show you don't fuck with my cans garbanzo beans you don't fuck with my caliente sign she's like like there's literally nothing you can do that won't get you on on her bad side and by the way her face what's crazy is that like you know obviously she had a drastic face change this year but seeing it change from year to year I didn't even realize how drastic the change was even before this year like like looking just two years ago how different her face was from just last year it's shocking yeah it really is it really and it's just not it's sad it's sad because it's not better yeah it's just not better I mean if it's better it'd be like yeah you did an improvement but when someone does our house you're like oh god you spent so much money on that wallpaper why why would you do that um by the way um our friend Jenny made a very good point last night which was almost shocking if you look at Tammy knickerbocker she actually has like the same face as Tamara Barney but she just has like a trashy black a different wig yeah she has the witch wig instead of the uh the rock star wig that she has from cvs Tammy bought the wicked witch wig yeah they should go they should re-enact like uh Wizard of Oz quite frankly because you die hard you die hard fans out there know this but I still think it's fascinating that they use Tammy's first house as the gates of the kasai and the opening credits I love that that was really interesting that's so Tammy is with us at all times and I love that Tammy like I really like Tammy because she was pure fucking trash and I do love that she admits that the show and her parenting skills ruined her daughters and she also admits that she lost everything and you can tell by the look of that uh blue top she was wearing like girl and that wig she has no money yeah she's off like she needed trailer oh yeah she needed to do this reunion special because like bravo was like yeah we'll we'll cut you a check for a hundred bills and she's like I'm in I just want to know they're like we've got some subway sandwiches and Cheetos and a hundred dollars she's like yeah yes I love that that's become our default voice for everyone everyone has trashy like yeah they all speak the same Erica well there were a lot of them today yeah there were a lot of them today I mean Erica does talk like that Erica and Tammy does talk like that she really does I felt bad for Tammy she just when I worked in the bowling alley there was this bartender who worked next to me I worked right next to the bar and we would shoot cherry stems and like make them into knots and she would smoke so much and she'd just look all weathered and she was like tired first thing in the morning and she was like do you know what it's like standing on your feet all day it's tiring I'm tired and that's what I thought of when I when I see Tammy she's just got that tired standing in a bowling alley your whole life like you just know it's never going to change yeah it's true with daughters like that I mean with OC angels like that how did I mean what do you expect and I mean the other thing they didn't really touch on though is um you you guys probably know this but Lou died yeah just like a year or two ago and they didn't mention that he died in the I think the third he died in between season two and season three because a lot of her arc in season three was dealing with Lou's death oh my god that was so long ago but it feels like yesterday yeah no it's true now my question speaking of season three where the hell was where was Quinn and where was Kimberly and where was Peggy what what the hell were they doing that they couldn't go on this thing because you know that they were asked they had to be asked and you know I don't think that they were gonna ask Quinn I think that Quinn is seriously a serial killer and they were like don't don't tell don't mention this Quinn the fact that's so poorly missed cast like there's no reason for Quinn to ever get on this show she was poorly miscast but then when they showed Quinn like milling around in the background that year and the blonde wig the time that Tamara threw the wine on Gina it was like she just had beady eyes searching for the camera under that blonde it was terrifying I like when Andy says what what makes a good housewife is someone who is like outspoken and is pretty and every question they asked every question they asked Andy every question they asked Andy that's how he answered yeah none of that was Quinn there by the way what's your favorite color outspoken fabulous willing to speak their mind ladies that wasn't a question Andy yes it was by the way yeah I thought it looks very good I thought he looks very good and special was that just me yes okay he's much more he's much more palatable when he's not trying to be hosty yeah like when he like this you could kind of tell that he's a bitch yeah you know he came across as just a normal kind of bitchy gay guy with way too much power than he ever deserves yeah but when he's hosty I just can't take him but this way I liked him I was like oh I want to have a drink with you especially when they showed that clip of him with the fro oh my god yeah yeah absolutely I also wanted to know um someone I would have liked to have heard from is Gina's gay friend the one who threw the champagne down after the tamar fight that's like one of my favorite moments in the real housewives when he when he throws that glass down in like the gayest possible way I mean like if Doma had had been like held up today it would have been because of that guy we're we are so lucky those Supreme Court justices did not actually see that moment right before they ruled because they would be like oh shit how bravo newlyweds could have killed it too let's not give the gays anything this cannot happen yeah um did you guys didn't you like the reappearance of Gina's crazy husband Matt the baseball player yes oh he's such an asshole such an asshole but I love every time they show him with his like curly Tom Selick mullet yeah um I also I also thought it was funny how Vicky kept on acting as if she had like created produced and like been and responsible for this entire show she is the OG though you got to give her a shot but she's like well I had to keep coming back because you know like you know it's like a child I've like birthed this child I'm like no you were cast you were cast as the mom you were you did not birth anything but the great thing is that is kind of some of the fear that is burned into every new housewives brain that's that's joining this program over the years it's kind of like we have to impress Vicky she's the queen bee she's a total bitch and uh just be prepared to be hazed because she's gonna bring it and I love that I love that I mean none of the other shows I don't feel like have that dynamic yes Nini is the queen of ATL but like they have brought other girls in there with you know you know it without as many problems but Vicky is just a straight up ice queen bitch yeah that's it's true I mean she does you know requires some genuine women these women are really really stupid and if they've ever read any part of history they would understand that if there's one on the very tippy top like that is being mean to all the people under them you overthrow the bitch thrower over the ball you can't you can't overthrow the thing is this though you can't overthrow oh they see if you ruin her but Tamara will you saw like that they would pair Tamara with Lori and a lot of these and I still think that there's there's still bad blood I think between Vicky and Tamara and by showing that Lori who's been you know spitting all this trash about Vicky this season by sitting her down with Tamara I think it just shows that Tamara is still somebody who thinks that she is going to overthrow Vicky yes she's only been there since season three but you know even when they showed her casting tapes it was like yeah I'm gonna steal Gina's listing and I'm gonna steal this show from that bitch too and it's like well she she did take Gina out and like I still think that Vicky will always be on Tamara's radar it is kind of funny that Tamara seen that casting tape that Tamara was so calculating in that I'm gonna take this show from Gina and then you fast fast forward to their big fight and Tamara's yelling to Gina get out of my life why are you in my life get out of my life I'm like bitch you went into her life technically and you knew what you were doing so you better you better ease up Tamara Barney um I else also the another uh point about how stupid they are is I loved the segment early on when they asked like why why do people watch the real housewives of Orange County why do people why they so fascinated and all the housewives were like well I think it's like a vicarious thing like they want to see what it's like you know it's like you know it's like you know it's like paradise it's like it's like a world that you can't even believe exists like everyone wants to sort of live here I'm like no people are not watching because they want to live in Orange County they're watching because you're all ridiculous idiots and they can't believe what they're seeing that's why they're watching and then they and then it's like coming to me about themselves right it's like oh well when the financial crisis hit the country everybody wanted to see what the women were going through uh no we just like to see anybody get trashed especially if they have money regardless of what's going on with the economy of course I want to see people lose their house exactly yeah especially snot heads he's like trying to act like they're so much richer and better than everyone else and I love when they said why do I what does everybody love Orange County and to and Gretchen's like everybody wants to live accuracy to us it's like bet you live in a condo with TJ Maxx furniture stop it you do not live behind a gate the only gate you live behind is like the gate of an apartment building and there's mailboxes right behind it yeah the only the only gate she lives behind is like a little doggy gate that you put up for those the only gate you live behind is some decorative gate that has a roosteron that you put on your kitchen wall that you might be able to smash some bottles of wine through the holes it's not even a gate because your wine rack is not a gate it's really a one what were the words she was trying to say where she's like nomnom did I say i'm right i don't even know how to say it it was phenomenal she can be going phenomenal yeah by the way the keys in first nation of Gretchen was perfect it was so good i i love just how much Vicki does not even give a shit about Gretchen like she's so dismissive of her now it is the funniest shit like that if anything is gonna make Vicki that's why she's the OG you know because when you are on her bad side boom you're on that she she i mean as dumb as Vicki is she knows how to shut Gretchen down which i'm obsessed with and you know what they can keep you know i complained earlier about uh new jersey where it's like we always cut back to Caroline crying about her son you know getting booted from college or whatever but nothing makes me happier than when they cut back to that 80s bunker party that is gold to me that really is i mean Gretchen looks dumb enough and i love that she's like going after Vicki but Vicki's hair Vicki's hair steals that scene regardless of the words coming out of either of their mouths oh my goodness oh my goodness okay as as awful as Vicki is and again she is terrible from her plastic surgery to pretty much everything i will say that i do really really like her kids yeah and we get a lot of Brianna on the show but her son is like really funny too and i actually loved the scenes from season two where she did go um to his frat house and i just like i just it brought back like so many good memories i'm such a dork but i love OC i think more than any one of these uh franchises and i just the begin the first like four seasons of this show i think are just magic and i miss Gina i miss Jo and i miss Tammy knickerbucker and i just think at this point like the entire time i'm watching this and whenever they would throw Heather or or Alexis or even that new little uh giraffe girl in i it was just pissing me off because i was like they're just they're just not as good and they never will be even if you get in three seasons they're never gonna be that good well i will say this put in season five because season five was the season when Lynn's life fell apart and that was actually oh that's true that's captivating that was great the eviction notice which they did bring up i mean i imagined an eviction notice being handed to your child on tv and her kids were already spiraling out of control i mean it was just like riveting i will say this i actually think this season of OC is the best season since probably that since season five it is it is on point okay so so where do you guys think Peggy was god i don't know she was probably like making little marks on a door frame while her husband stood against it to see if he'd grown an inch um maybe she's battling post-partum depression five years after giving birth to her last child maybe she's um in the er after having ingested some strange like octopus embryo to heal her eyebrows maybe she's at the snack bar at um sky zone fitness fucking jimbalino while Alexis is at home uh with the babies oh my god yeah why wasn't she there i i didn't even notice that she wasn't there sorry pegs i did you all did you also notice that i loved pegs she was a good shitster but did you also notice that um they barely talked to Alexis yeah not that much and Alexis did not look very good well well you know Alexis talked herself back on to this season and she's not filming with anybody so i'm sure that they are pissed yeah she will she will not be on this show much longer i'm sure she's pretty much on in this show yeah she's not even fun anymore she does this wine as opposed to slayed who will do whatever he can to be on this show or my god the admission that slayed paid his way onto the show was probably the best part of the night i thought oh absolutely and i look proudly proudly he did it like with a little gleam in his eye and i loved also that he um that he was looking at old footage of himself because he goes oh i look like such a douche i'm like and i wouldn't put that in past tense yeah no kidding and i love that he was saying that he broke up with joe because she got too famous and she got too big for his for her britches and started ignoring him so he got rid of her yeah when he talked about why the show was good because it accelerated their inevitable breakup it reminded me again i mean there's so many things that remind me of how much i hate slayed but it really reminded me of the slate of that first season who was such an asshole the way he said yeah that the show really brought out some some bad things in her that i might not have seen until few years down the line as if it was like all her like like she was the one who changed or she was the one who was really terrible and not it was wasn't him wasn't slayed i mean she's probably poor and like living on the same block as us been like all reality stars do but that girl is so lucky that she was able to escape from his clutches and from orange county and from those french made outfits i mean and again she's probably like a waitress at like some sushi restaurant on sunset and i'm sure that life in some way is so much better than had she stayed behind the gates well she thinks andi mentioned on watch what watch what happens a while back um they were they brought someone brought up joe and he was like yeah she's like a bartender in manhattan and the guest was like oh my god that said he's like yeah she's like i guess she didn't know what she was doing he's like yeah he was like really bitchy about it and look joe is still like semi paralyzed in the face like there's something not working there and she is still trying way too hard to make one liners that just don't make any sense but you know god bless her i feel for her because she did it's like she was on a train and she got off the train to get a bag of fritos and the train left her and now she's just stuck somewhere she doesn't know where she is and she's just holding some fritos she's like i didn't want fritos where am i listen she's better up she could be uh off of eighth avenue on her hands and knees wiping down the com from some stupid like like triple x video peep show and she'd be in better place if you're still a slave well i agree i agree except that ashley should join her from princesses oh god she will still have her day i'm gonna go well i feel so terrible uh because i've liked Gretchen for so long but after watching this and really because i feel like this show has done a really good job of kind of keeping slayed at bay yeah like he's had some moments like we were reminded of the fight with vicky and calling her miss piggy it was disgusting and this year with the have a cheeseburger honey or whatever like disgusting but for the most part he's kept away from us and really seeing how disgusting that fucking asshole is it made me think Gretchen's disgusting because i actually really used to love her like she was one of my favorite part she's one of the best of the house eyes and i just can't love her now because she's just disgusting there's got to be something there's got to be something there that she's disgusting if she's with that pig she's fucking great she's become obnoxious she thinks she thinks she's hilarious she thinks she's the hottest i mean she's got a great body but she has a tranny face now and um she thinks she's very bright and she does want a lot of attention and slayed has has brought her down and i i actually feel like Gretchen is awful now and i blame slayed i feel like she wasn't awful she used to be self-aware she used to be funny and she sometimes has glimmers of that but she's ruined she is ruined ruined and especially if if she really like i know that they're engaged but if she gets married and has a baby with him oh if she does then she deserves what she gets i agree i agree question about the old versus the new i think you were asking that earlier i really you know first of all Lydia is hilarious i loved all of the stuff she said last night she's like well there's a bleep machine and when you watch a show there's a bleep machine going up but when you're in it you're like where's the bleep machine see this this cast is already filled with idiots i'm like i really like she and Heather Heather's not an idiot but i just i really don't like them well Heather's just a fame whore you know she's like well i'm very proud to be a part of pop culture history yeah it's like pop culture history it's like whatever you need to tell yourself to feel important you failed fucking actress right now it's like bitch bitch you joined season seven you'll be lucky to make it four seasons total go away yeah she's ridiculous um don't don't hate her but she adds nothing Lydia so far adds nothing no i like Lydia i think Lydia adds i like Lydia she was fucking hilarious she's hilarious all season she's what did she say what did she say on the special episode that was so fucking funny on this one right i think she had another she had another line that was really funny i just don't remember what it was well she was like you know you watch this on tv and you see these women screaming at each other and it's kind of fun and you can go on with your day but when you're in it and this lady is getting screamed out that you're there with and you can't leave and you're like where's the door i thought that was funny i actually heard her i'll give her that i guess you know i think my bitterness really just stems from the fact that my favorite housewife is Gina and she got the raw deal and i feel like they should invite her back i mean she is one of the originals too i would like to see them bring all those Aggie women back i think that that's what it should be i don't think it should be Gretchen's i think the real housewives have really missed gone down a bad path with getting all these young youngish girls who think exactly this should be 50 year old women who are fighting with each other i mean that is the demo that they targeted and 40 but i like them in their 40s too you know like they're but that's what us that's what us homos want and the thing is like the story between Vicky and Gina and the fact that they're still neighbors that is delicious shit that they are not mining for gold and then you also have uh lori who's resurfaced after all these years and you know right and i clearly they all hate they all hate lori except for tamara i mean it's great stuff tamara follows the money she knows what's up i quit just kidding wow um yeah i didn't think it was that that shocking of a statement no no it wasn't um yeah i agree i just want the i want all those haggy women back they're so bitter they've got they've all been beaten down by life and i think it would be amazing and also i'm so glad that Gina's asshole of a son came back with a big harp on his lip and he has an actor that's the entire time uh yeah that's called cast and couch right there yeah yeah he is not in that and i love he's so stupid he's like yeah i love how everything came full circle because i was on tv and now i'm an actor and guess what it's not a full circle because the only reason you're on tv is because you're on this you ain't on tv because you're an actor fool he probably like stands and his mom really still isn't even on the cast well someone probably told him that vine was actually like nbc news and so probably says there it does reports i'm shane and this is the special report oh it's over i'm shane my mom's a dumb bitch do you guys not lord 11 do you not like kara as awful as she was when she was on the show i think she's hilarious and i love that she's also becoming a mini christian kavallari like i was on a reality show and now i'm gonna marry professional football star who is she marrying by the way probably somewhere from ucla right probably i'll look it up right now as we continue to know what player she and that was by the way such a backdoor brag she was like i'm just like my mom you know you know marrying an athlete i'm gonna shut up i thought she was gonna say she's gonna pose for playboy yeah she's she's fucking unbearable that one isn't she's like i'm just like my mom you're gonna be like really fat in about 10 years sorry that was me everyone i wonder what i like about the like older women i like that they're real you know i like that they're just moms you know that is that was that always fascinated me as a child and it really did shape who i am today probably for the worst but i was a total mama's boy and she used to be in junior league and hang out with all the junior league ladies every afternoon and get shit faced on boxed wine and the kids were supposed to be off playing together and i was sit there and laugh at these women they were so caddy and hilarious and i think that's why i love these shows and i want it to be that i don't want it to be wretched trying to sell a fucking purse and like dating some douche you know i agree i i think that like also when you have like the young hot quote unquote housewives they don't really have as much life experience i mean a lot of them are our age but we don't have a lot of that life experience you know what once you had like 40 or so and you have some you have some kids who are like not like adults yeah they're not babies because those kids like that's a that's a really good point then because the moms could interact with the children on those shows like you can't interact with the babies they're just you have a frame of reference a little bit and it's it's sort of like what ronnie was getting to like these women that have been sort of like locked up a little bit and now they're sort of like getting to be women to be like it's not women again but like you know got to be more than just moms again but when you have like joanna croupas and aggressions and elexises these just these vapid young women who um not saying that if you're 30 you're vapid but these happen to be vapid women i just i just don't think it's as interesting yeah and you mix them in with the old women just because that'll start a fight and it does start a fight but it's not a fun fight like just not a fun fight because it's not a fair fight yeah exactly yeah i looked up her her fiance by the way and he is hot as fuck what's his name his name is kyle bozworth and he plays for the uh jackson ville jaguars so she apparently graduated from ucla she was interning at e and she moved to florida to be with her man and i am digging it i wonder if he's ever related to brian bozworth i you mean the star the star of that really bad movie called like ice hard cold or something like stone cold or stone yeah and it showed him like jumping in like parachute pants on the hood of a camaro that was like in 1990 it was like all about the boz and then he went away he's probably dead no he's a lot he got injured oh are you talking about it when you start talking sports i start seeing tv fuzz i don't understand um the kid that i'd like seeing all the kids even the douche bag the one that really depressed me was tamar's kid i mean he's like this show you know people think that you're a douche bag or whatever and they hate you but they don't understand that you know you can change so much between 21 and 27 and this show is shaped who i am and i'm proud of myself i'm like are you kidding because i think that the tin can that you're holding to like beg for change is off screen but i'm sure you're holding it yeah he also has aged very very very poorly he looks like he took a dip in the meth pool and has had some trouble coming back everything looks wrong he doesn't he looks all dried out he looks like a two-by-tooth pace it's all done squeezed out um he's he's taken some beauty tips from the princesses of long island um we need to backtrack to kara kiho for a second i just did some more research ben her runny this is going to be fuzz for you um her fiancé kyle bosworth now just recently signed with the new york giants uh oh and he is the nephew of former nfl linebacker brine bosworth uh-huh well i mean i feel like we can't top that should we do okay so let's move on to newlyweds because we've been talking we've been talking forever and that show had a season finale last night and it was redonk redonk donk um i'm not gonna lie i love this show it had like really good ratings for the past few weeks it's a you know it's like 1.4 million viewers is huge for bravo i just for some reason like i've been talking shit about them week after week but now that we've gotten to the finale i feel like i'm fully invested with these people's lives and i need a season two and i hope i don't know what it's like to get married i mean now that we can get married yay but i don't know if you're can still be considered a newlywed after your first year of marriage but i need to know what happens to these people well bravo has no trouble changing the name of their shows that is true me getting married Bethany having a baby Bethany going through a horrible divorce you know like then wait i wish it would have had that one actually that would have been amazing did any of them get divorced no they all made it oh that's stupid i know it's not lame i think the tv cameras probably actually helped them in this case since it was all about them being married they were like we can't get divorced well just wait till they you know some of them they just brought a baby home i mean that that one nebbish and obnoxious couple from new york i mean they got pregnant on their honeymoon and the entire time like this episode the dude is like yeah well if i had to do it all over again i definitely wouldn't have gotten you know i had a baby as soon as i got married and i'm like oh well now we see how this is gonna go well that the George Costanza guy is a total pig but at the end of the day they're she she likes it like she thinks it's so funny and they have kind of a little repartee going on repartee oh god i'm feeling a great Gretchen i'm like Gretchen today but we talked about Gretchen too much but um they actually ended up being kind of cute at the end i mean i guess because you get you know it's like the curse of watching reality tv you're watching horrible uneducated morons and then they grow on you and you can't help but like them because you it's like a Miley Cyrus song like you hate her but those songs keep playing over and over in your brainwashed and i've like kind of like them now i mean not Miley Cyrus i guess i do like her but you know the George Costanzas the one that i hate is that indian chick oh i hate her oh my god she threw a glass of water in the pre in the commercials and i felt like i'd seen the whole episode after that point i'm sorry but what she did in the fight that she had with her father was 100 justified oh my god Matthew i'm never fighting with you if that's how you act her father's getting remarried and she's like but no i'm new daddy i'm what screaming throwing things literally screaming and throwing things and stomping her feet and fake crying i mean it was embarrassing that girl just needs to be shot with something shot up with something shot up with something how about that if someone choose her i don't want it to be shot up and watch what rapids inside it violence how about shot up with some Xanax or some some kind of drug she's too much and why didn't they ask her to leave i love that the busboy just came by and picked up the glass like well the funny thing is like you know some most of these things are staged i feel like that interaction wasn't because like the people in the restaurant clearly were pissed yeah yeah i don't know well it's with her that girl tries way too hard she i mean you can tell how fake she is she i mean she's just a hideous human being if there's if there's any one reason what one reason why i don't watch the show it's because of her i think she is just so awful and not like funny awful she's just awful awful she is the people on our on our uh facebook are talking about how they were all on watch what crapped in last night and Andy was being bitchy and it was probably because he hated her i noticed it in the preview that he was sitting right next to her ugh how was that reunion i mean last time Andy hosted a live reunion we all know how that went it was awful i can't watch that show i think that shows terrible so i don't watch that show i can't i can't not for me but um newlyweds and what else happened the gays went to therapy and like did role playing uh role playing like on a bed in front of a psychiatrist psychologist whatever it was gross yeah it was really gross that i think that in general i like blare i think he's really funny but too much like talking about how he can't even give a blowjob to his husband on the couch i don't need to hear it i don't need to hear it stop it well yeah and anybody that talks like sex terms also like in baby voice like well it's been two weeks since i got the p p and the booty i'm like i'm gross gross yeah that's right there is a boner killer hashtag boner killer yeah and they said that on um watch what crappins that he was like or watch what happens that he was like um well our sex life improves since i started getting enemas you know what i do not want to hear even that i just said it i'm disgusted that i'm disgusted with myself that i just said it i am crawling i'm curling into a little fetal position right now i'm getting under my desk and i'm hoping that when i emerge this never happened i'm i'm hoping this is just a cruel dream i hope it's like that scene in labyrinth where jennifer konily like lies down on a bed and then she closes her eyes and she opens she goes ah it was just a dream but she obviously is still on her dream i know that's what's gonna happen to me yeah it was for me just too much guys i can't i'm really glad that it's ended but i didn't have fun watching it i watch the whole thing will you watch it again next season if it comes back yeah i i think i'll watch it again i mean if i don't know if they're gonna have new people or not but if they bring tina back probably not she's vile okay i get that i understand she knows the bollywood one yeah she's just disgust she's just i just see like big purple duck lips i'm just and it's always some drama like today it's like the season finale oh i'm gonna get vaginal cancer shut up with your vagina cancer you do not have it and if you did it's because god watches this show okay shut up all right there it there it is they're there they're good listeners my holocaust joke was nothing just getting started come on guys lighten up it's a win day it's a hump day i mean okay yeah let's end this because we only have one hour before big brother and then wait i have to drive i have to drive home we're gonna have to do 930 that's fine okay just leave now leave now girl run molly run all right so everyone thanks for listening uh you can again follow us on facebook.com forward slash watch what crappins also leave some five star reviews if you're so inclined on iTunes where you should be subscribed to us anyway um listen to us on soundcloud as well and um matt is at life on the m list i'm at b-side blog and ronnie is at ronnie is ronnie caraman vine and um trash we tv on twitter but for matt and i are our handles are for all of our things so um please follow your gray with your handle for all your general purpose handles we make it easy for you i think last week i said that i changed my handle to b-side blog on vine because i wanted to make my social media networks more uh coherence which is the improper use of coherence um although nothing could make me more coherent but it didn't make it more cohesive branding wise um so anyway uh yeah so it's been fun times hi everybody love you mean it comment hi hi hi if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the side show network of launch the new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like regi wats taught glass lies a slice finger slicing drive and friends with it for ten years one of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name liza our very own own benjamin that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube.com/waitfortcomedy there's no need to wait for it any more because it's here and it's funny and i love you a few days ago rook two dean posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments thumbs up rook geico also wants to make a comment in just 15 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