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Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what Crap is! The podcast is about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronny Karam from TrashTalkTV.com, good bye TV gazom, and I'm joined by Ben Mandelker from BsideBlog.com. Hello Ben. Hello, and rest in peace TV gazom, baby bastards, lovely little bastards, and Matt Whitfield from Yahoo, the thin and gorgeous Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. Hey guys, it's all about the pills, it's all about the pills. That's right, your special pill dias. Yeah, I was going to order some of that pills, but now I'm unemployed, so you're going to give me some booze. No problem. That's called sisterhood. Wait, I wanted to say something when you introduced me, but I couldn't pull it up on my notes fast enough that I wrote on my iPhone, but what was crazy Jeff saying on Princesses this week? Maybe it was, I forget what the boyfriend's name was, but he kept saying, "Woosaba." Yeah, "Woosaba." That was like his name for his crazy little princess. For Erica, I think. But anyway, when you announced me, I was going to say "Woosaba," but now I'm saying it, so there you go. Maybe he's trying to say "Woosabi" because she burned his tongue or she gave him herpes or something. But anyway, you can find us online, you can find us at our websites, or you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/watchwatchwatchcraphens, or on Twitter @whatcraphens. Or individually, I am @RonnyCarum, or if you want to subscribe to our feeds at TrashTweetTV. And then Ben is @bsideblog on Twitter, and Matt is @lifeonthemlist on Twitter. And also, Instagram and Vine. I'm also. Oh yeah, Ben. All across. I've created a monster. And I created a monster in that target when I showed Ben how fun Vine was. Yes. He really did. A really funny little monster. So yeah, you can find Ben. Are you @bsideblog now on Vine? Did you change the game? Yeah, I switched over so I could be more coherent. So it's @bsideblog on all my social media networks. And I'm @RonnyCarum on Vine, and I love Vine. I take the most unflattering vines. They're hilarious. There was one of you. Were you on a scavenger, or the scavenger hunt? Yes. I got a random Vine of you and dressed in like three different dresses in like two wigs and a mustache. Like running around. I was like, what is going on? None of them are flattering. But next week, I mean, not next week. Next year, us three, or is it we three, we, we three are doing that scavenger hunt as a team. I'd like to. Because it is hilarious. It's this big gay scavenger hunt. It's all over the city. I'm like super competitive though. So I'm just warning you now that I'm out for blood. That's great. That's great. Because we're all on a team, you know? Yeah, totally. I mean, I didn't even realize what was happening this year. I mean, I know what happens every year, but I didn't realize this is the weekend to do it, et cetera, et cetera. Well, we needed a partner, but I didn't call you guys because we only needed one. What? How did you do? What place did you get? Oh, my God. We came in like eight out of 20. Not very good. But it was so much fun. And of course, after we, you know, it ends here at that bar. And then you could see all the teams doing it, like kind of splitting off in the twos and blaming everybody else on their team and then splitting off. That's going to be the death of our podcast. Yeah. Scavenger hunt together. And then we'll be pointing fingers and then we'll just hash down the podcast. I was just going to say we already cut it close on a lot of the podcast. So this will just really send me over the fucking edge as if as if when Ben doesn't talk over me, I'm not ready to kill myself and the people who win it though, they won it twice in a row and they last year they went to and they are just sickos. I don't know how they do it, but they beat everybody by like three hundred points, which is cheating. I'm talking right over you right now, Ronnie, because I'm very I have a very urgent point to make, which is that I heard last night some gossip about that team or that there was an issue. This one team was forced to retire because they basically were using their assistance to get all these items from the scavenger hunt, which is why they were always consistently two or three hundred points above every single other person. I knew that they were fucking cheating. And you know, some Queen told me I was bitter. I said, I'm not bitter. I don't need to win a scavenger hunt. But winning by three hundred points is not normal. Yeah. Okay, you're not really selling us on this. It sounds like a lot of gay bitches fighting, well, it's like podcasts, you know, in a room of gay people, what are you going to do? I mean, it's just kind of how we're born. I hope that one day we evolve. And of course, we won't be podcast hosts in those days, but hopefully we evolve past that at some point. But right now, I mean, gays and gays, gays do is gays deeds. You know, we're going to really piss off our listener, Tammy Sue, who wrote a huge diatribe against us on our Facebook page, who first she accused our dear Lisa Timmons of not being funny and shrieking over all of us, which, by the way, we do not agree with that. And I think she Lisa is very, very funny. And second of all, she also accused Lisa of getting me sidetracked. And I would like to say that was not Lisa's fault. I get sidetracked on my own. Thank you very much. And isn't that kind of the point of this? It's called a free podcast. Calm the fuck down. I know. It's called, there's a fast forward button. This is not like you're sitting at the radio of 1942, we have to wait for the content to come along. You just move your slider down. It'll be there. Tammy Sue. Oh, guys. Tammy. She's just. It was because she's writing because she loves us. Yeah. If we're going to talk about some of the criticism, I mean, I think that we need to talk about the private Facebook message that we've received about, I mean, it's very interesting. I mean, look, again, this podcast in the past few weeks, apparently has offended a ton of people. And by a ton, I mean, maybe less than five, but, you know, a few weeks ago, things got a little crazy. And then last week, Ronnie, I don't know if you're aware of this, but apparently we said mean things about Jesus. Did we, I don't even remember. I remember vaguely this conversation. I don't even think it was last week. I think it was the week before when Ronnie was on, right? Well, I don't think it was, I don't think it was when Lisa was on. I think it was me. Like, I'll take person, I'll take responsibility for that because I do sometimes go off and I do go on like Christiany rounds, especially when we're talking about Alexis because, you know what, it's not even, it's like my dad told me when I was little and getting beat up at Christian school. And I was like, fuck Jesus. And he was like, no, Ronnie, it's not Jesus you have a problem with. It's the Christians. I was like, well, that's a good, well, actually he said it's not Christ, it's the Christians, which, you know, I thought that was a very good way to put it. And I feel that way now, I have no problem with Jesus or Christ or church and all that stuff. I have problems with people like Alexis Bellino faking her ass, faking her way through shit and acting like a damn idiot and then saying she's, she believes in Jesus to excuse everything that she does. Shut up, Alexis. And shut up, you fake Christians. If you're a good Christian, you wouldn't even be listening to this. Well, so you have deep seated issues because you grew up in the church? Yes, I do. Of course. I mean, I was, I was surrounded by hypocrites. And I have no problem with, with religion. I mean, look, it's kind of, it's kind of like brainwashing in a way. When you're taught all this stuff as a little kid, you grow up believing it, no matter what. And so I do have a little part of me that is a believer and that does have that rule. I pray, you know, when, especially when I'm in trouble, like every, like everyone on death row suddenly becomes a Christian, you know. So I definitely have that going on, but I don't hate Christians. I'll just hate the fake assholes on TV. And you can't get mad that we're talking about Christians, but be okay when we're talking about retarded children and like, you know, fat people, like it can't be okay to make fun of some people, but not yourself. Get over yourself, lady. We apparently offended this woman who was a longtime listener, but things, I don't even know what we said that was, I, she, she said, well, you said about Jesus, like that crossed the line. And I'm like, I don't even remember. You talked about him being hot or something. I think that I said that he had nice, long hair, a tan and more cute sandals, and I would totally bang him. And I still would. Well, we're never. I'm not going to get it back. And I think I said that he looked like a hipster, right? Yeah. I'm sure I had a ramp just like the one I just gave, but here's my rule, my basic rule about it. I get that people get offended when you make fun of their religion, but there's no, there's nothing more offensive than when a Christian tells you, like that religion does tell everybody who's not a Christian that they're going to hell. So there's nothing more offensive than that. So if you don't like it, then change religions. You stupid bitch. Okay. Well, and I'm sorry, but also like, I think that we're all in this circle together. Everybody who's listening to this podcast right now and who has been listening since the beginning or has jumped in at any time. If you watch Bravo TV as obsessively as us, you're a horrible person. You're a horrible person for torturing yourself and rotting your brain. And you're also a horrible person for liking horrible people on TV. So I mean, welcome and giving them careers and putting money in their bank account. So I'm just saying this, like, welcome to the family. We are totally offensive. If you don't like it, get the fuck out. I believe I believe a certain lady said it very, very well. Shabbat Shalom. Go fuck yourself. Exactly. Amen. And I'm sorry I said fuck you later. I don't really mean that, but you know, I mean, her email was not a rant. She wasn't big. No, she was being totally nice. Yeah. She was being really nice. She said, listen, you guys have been me, I think I'm going to sign off. But I'm just saying, I don't even, I don't realize that we're even being offensive to you. Yeah. Well, I mean, come on. We're what? We're almost like 80 episodes or 80 plus episodes into this. Guess what? Our goal here is to offend a few. Well, you know what? It must mean that we're establishing ourselves because we are now getting people who are writing angry things at us, which means that, that our audience is growing, right? Which also means that the people that do love us, meaning the ones that have stuck around through this 15 minute diatribe leading us actually talking about the shows, especially you guys. You need to go to our iTunes page, give us five stars and tell the people who get mad at us to suck it. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, we're not supposed to complain about complainers. You know, that's like rule number one, but it's just so fun. It's almost like tradition. It's like, go ahead and leave us something so we can talk about it while we're getting this. Exactly. And anybody like Eddie who posts comments about me on the iTunes page, I'm going to address it because that's part of the fun. Wait, but you still didn't address the one guy who, the one guy who gave you shit on the Facebook page, like a week and a half ago. What was that? Yeah. What did he say? There was a guy. I forget his name. And I remember I tried to look it up, but he basically was like, Matt shouldn't be on, like get rid of Matt. He just is so bitter and like he's not fun anymore. So he shouldn't even be there. Oh, well, I missed you guys two weeks ago when I posted this on the Facebook page, but two weeks ago, the last time Ronnie was on before the episode with Lisa, I was like trying to do work while I was taping and I was a bitter bitch the entire time. Oh, yeah. You can't do both. I've tried to do that so many times and it's just horrible. And that's when I say bad things about autistic children or like Jesus should burn. You know, that's when I'm saying horrible things like that when my mind is off somewhere else. So the lesson is never do work, people. Don't worry. The funny thing is if we all, if somebody would, you know, be smart enough to make, you know, action figures or dolls of the three of us, look, we all have fans. We all have haters, but it's part of the fun. And while I have this moment, I want to give. I've had no sense. Matt. What are you talking about? Someone made action figures of us. You know what? We all have fans. We all have haters. What does that mean? I am, I still am drunk. I'm still drunk for my vacation. What I was getting at is like when the new kids on the block came out, you know, certain people would buy the Joey McIntyre dolls, certain people would buy the Ben Mandel Kurdall, certain people would buy my doll to rip my head off and my limbs off and, you know, set them on fire. And you know what? Like, clearly Lisa has some fans, Lisa has some haters. Ronnie, meet you. We're all in the same boat. And it's always fun. So again, if you hate us, fuck off. And if you enjoy us, stay with us. I mean, look what they did to Jesus. Okay. So let's move on to the housewives. No, you have to stop. You have to stop because we have to send a shout out to one of our loyal listeners. It is Judson's birthday today for the time this goes live. She'll be 33 years old and one day. But at this moment, while we're recording, it's her birthday and she's been a loyal listener and I love her. And if I were straight, she'd be my wife. Go, Jut. Go, Jut. Go, Go, Go, Jut. I would say happy birthday to you, but I don't want to be sued for copyright infringement by those people at Warner Museum. By those Christians at Warner Museum. Those Christians, they love their Jesus and their autistic children at Warner Museum. All right, now that we've got all people who hate us, that was really fun and I'm sorry for all that side tracking, but I missed last week and I didn't get to talk to you guys in real life. So, hi. Well, you got to come on Bancho with Ben and Lisa and that was quite fun. That was fun. Oh, Matt, you should hear how they do it. It's 20 minutes. You're done. Rapid rapid fire in and out. Okay. So let's talk some housewives. Now. Yeah. Okay. Which one do you want to start with first? Actually, I think we should start with Princesses Long Island. Can we do Princesses first? I love the iPad. Are we not talking gossip? Oh, yeah. Gossip. Oh, yeah. Let's talk some gossip. So, Maddie, you have some. Why don't you start? Yeah, I just took some notes. I did see that last Thursday, Joanna Krupa from Real Housewives of Me, Jami, married her bow, Romaine lettuce. Yes. And a bizarre. Well, I mean, it was apparently a one million dollar ceremony, but why would they get married on a Thursday? Oh, well, because Friday, Friday is Shabbat. Makes sense to me. Wasn't that the season phenol? It probably was. They've probably just got some deal on a banquet place. I think it was the shooting day because, oh, I forgot to tell you, we heard back from Leah Black. What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm the worst. I should never be in charge of talking to anybody. We heard back from Leah Black. She said contact her after the 16th and she's free. She was just shooting Miami until then. So she's not late for the rest of the summer. Yeah. We got a sugar mama. Yeah. We do. Yeah. What's wrong with that? I love so regarding this whole Joanna Krupa wedding. I love that. I'm looking at the comment right now. Someone said, did Joe Francis give away the bride, which I thought was hilarious. That's Randy Miller. Did Joe Francis give away the bride? That made me laugh at that. Well, I think that they probably did it because of production and she wanted to get him married the last couple of years that his penis was still work. Oh, no, that thing's not going to last very long. No, because he's on steroids and we know what that does. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maybe a tiny. I bet they got married in their like night club. What was that called? Mint or something like that or bliss or splint? Splint. It's like I want crotch. I don't know. What's the name of this stupid club? Like I want crystal or liquor. So they got married. So that's exciting for them. Importantly, Tammy Sue married Eddie on Saturday and it's going to be spun off into a three episode series called Tamra's OC Wedding, also known as Awful. And that's going to air in September on Bravo for three weeks and apparently this is not surprising. All of her castmates were in attendance. Alexis, Vicki, and Gretchen were there. But Tammy Sue's bestie, Heather Dubrow was in the wedding and she actually sang at the wedding, "Kill Me Now." Well, she does have a big band past, if you remember correctly. Oh my god. I'm predicting that she sings. I'm predicting that she sings. Don't tell me not to let you sit and put up. Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter. I'll bring around the clouds of rain on my parade. She probably sang a funeral, George. I mean, I can't imagine this woman singing anything that's remotely sunny. Exactly. I mean, again, her opening credits on the show says that, you know, she's more fun than the blondes, but we all know that's a fucking lie. Is there a piece on the hot and clean, maybe she'll say, "Yeah, man what I am." She's just seeing like something from a drag show. That is the gayest wedding I've ever heard. And thank you, Bravo, for only making that three episodes long. I know. Well, you know, the entire reception was like, Eddie probably had Lady Gaga playing the entire time. And, you know, Donna Summer. Yeah. And he probably disappeared for a while. And, well, he probably requested for his first dance to be with his bison. I see. Yeah. I'm about to say he probably had it up there with the altar with him. He had a corner on the port of the potty. Yeah. I'm sure it was his best man. It is his best man. Oh, pin the tail inside the donkey. I'll be the donkey. So poor little guy. Well, they're married. So I give that a couple of years. Yeah. I give that about six months. Yeah. So Bravo has been very busy with their weddings this week. It's really tragic, though. I mean, I have to say this, I'm kind of sick and tired of this shit. So we had Joanna marrying Romaine. I'm sure she begged for a spin-off or even a one-off. Bravo probably shut that down. Tamra was able to pull off a three-episode special unlike Kim from Atlanta, who turned it into an entire two-season franchise for herself. And then also Nini had her bachelor at party in Mexico over the weekend, which Cynthia attended and a few of her other girlfriends, because Nini is getting a spin-off as well. I am sick of this shit. Listen. Listen, the gays can't get married. Why does Bravo think we want to watch this? OK? It's like adding insult to injury. Because I think they're trying to get the American public used to freak show weddings. Yeah, I think so. I think they're trying to pay. I think in their weird way, they're paving their way for drag queen weddings by putting these hells up there. Because Tamra, Nini and Kim Zulsiac actually are all, like, gay men to the 10th degrees. Yeah, well, don't forget Bethany Frankel, who pioneered this awful sub-genre of Bravo. When I'm able to get married, I will definitely pee in a bucket on my wedding night. On camera. Yeah, and broadcast this to the world. I do have to think Bethany Frankel, because her commercial came on the other day for her talk show, and she's like, "I'm back with my talk show!" And I felt, from across the country, I felt Jill Zaren throwing up all over herself, and banging her head onto the TV screen. And so I have to say, thank you. Thank you, Bethany. Thank you. Thank you, Bethany. Jill Zaren had some interviews recently where she pretty much tore Bethany a new one. I read it like a week ago, but she didn't talk about how long. Did you get your traders, Joe Fearless Flyer thing in the mail? Who the hell's interviewing Jill Zaren, who? It was exclusive from The Penny Saver. Jill Zaren talks The Penny Saver, and so anyone need a headband, we have three of them lying around. It was from the free section of Craig's List. Like people are just on there looking for boxes to move, and then Jill Zaren's interviewing yourself. It was in the homeless news. It was a free handout on the L train in Manhattan. Hey, that used to be my playground. Okay, so what was the interview? I don't remember. I think it's actually posted on our Facebook page somewhere, but she really went off, and I was saying how vicious Bethany was, and I was surprised that everything's falling apart around Bethany, but she's like, you know what, her show will be good, but I guarantee that she's going to go through producer after producer and teams of writers, and you know what? I actually don't disagree with Jill on that point. Well, I mean, who cares? Doesn't every talk show host does that do that? Well, yeah, that's a funny thing, because Alan has the reputation of being the biggest bitch in all of Hollywood and being the most difficult person to work with, and she's the one that's producing the show, so it kind of makes sense there, and if you guys remember, I tried to get us tickets to a taping of Bethany's pilot season this last summer, and for those of you who didn't listen to that podcast, they emailed me, and they required me to send in photos of myself, Ben and Ronnie, before they said if they would let us come sit in the fucking audience. And any show that asks to see a headshot of me in order to decide if I'm worthy enough of being in their audience can go suck it. Yeah, it's easier to get into Romaine Letis' Club in Miami than to get into Bethany's show for no good reason. Yeah, you know, I've listened to, I don't know why I'm saying this, but Alan was doing some interview about her gay wedding, and she was talking about how she's a raw vegan now, and once she saw these movies on Netflix, she became a raw vegan, and she had her whole wedding raw vegan, you know what, I was like, you know what, Alan, I've liked you and hated you over the years, but I don't know if I can get past this raw vegan thing. I'm not against people being raw vegans, but I am against you inviting me somewhere where I have to wear a suit, and buy you hundreds of dollars worth of gifts, and you ain't even going to feed me, you're going to give me some carrots, bitch, you better make a burger, you better make a slider buffet if you ever want to invite me to your wedding again. Well hello, the wedding is all about an open bar, amazing cake, and dancing, and I don't think that's not even about the cake, honestly, because by the time the cake rolls around, you're so drunk, it's about a good cocktail hour, and an open bar, and that's all that matters. Dinner, you want a good bit. Yes, anybody that has a cash bar at their wedding, just don't have a wedding e-lope. Don't, don't invite me to a wedding that has a cash bar ever. Yeah, a cash bar, how about I bring you some cash gifts, okay, how about you tell me what you want, and I'll bring it, and then I'll make you buy it from me once I get there, stupid. Right, or if you end up having a cash bar and you shock me with it, and I have a card there for you with money in it, open your goddamn card and buy me the drink yourself. Yeah, it's like, it's like what I was talking about last week when I went to that stupid pool party, where I had, I paid $40 to go to this pool party, and I get there, it wasn't an open bar. Can you believe it? Some people paid $65 for it. It's ridiculous. That is ridiculous. I think that gay marriage should stay illegal, and they should also make regular marriage illegal, and we should just stop it with all of this. It's crazy. It is awful. Let's see, like wedding culture, I think it's like hideous. I feel bad for everyone who just absolutely loves it, and it throws themselves into all these TLC shows, because I just feel like it's the most ridiculous thing of all time. Yeah. Or all of these desperate Long Island princesses who are just dying to land a man and have a glamorous wedding. What a wonderful transition, man. Yeah, that was a good one. Let's go to Long Island. Long Island! Everyone get on the Whitestone Bridge, we're heading to Long Island. Alright, you guys, how was that girl, the prettiest girl in high school? Anybody? Anybody? Because they're different standards in Long Island, okay? Up is down, left is right, everything's different on Long Island. They showed a picture of her, or someone on her Facebook page, put a picture of her in high school, and it's black and white, which I know that you can just use a filter. But, I mean, it really does look like when my mom went to high school, you know, it's like I kind of recognize her only because there's like a glass of wine in her hand in those pictures, but it looks like it was so long ago, it looks like it was taken into Lawrence Walk Days. She really is a disaster, and the way I can equate her, like visually, aside from like that she's got some Rachel Dratch in her, no offense to Rachel Dratch. Oh my gosh, she totally does! She's like Rachel Dratch after being thrown at her. She's like, Rachel Dratch meets Kelly Catron, he's in a New Yorker, there's a set of like comics, like these cartoons, these weird characters, big frizzy hair and big noses, and that's what she looks like. I think she looks like the Count from Sesame Street. That was so good, she really does. She has a very muppet mouth, like an Elmo or Grover's name, Grover mouth, you know? Well, how to her, I mean, I don't know, before I lost my job, I bought a new TV because my TV broke. Yay, Dad! And I can see things so much more clearly on this TV, and I was horrified this whole, really by all of the shows this week, because you can see so many of the flaws, but especially that girl. How is that girl 30? Her eyes look like tinfoil. How is she? Like after it's wrapped a turkey, and then like re-wrapped leftovers, and it, you know, it's like every wrinkle that pops would be in it. And then somebody exploded inside of it for me on them too long, and then someone tried to put it in the microwave and it caught on fire. It's like, "Jiffy pop." Her eyes look like jiffy pop. It's bulging. How? How? How did that happen? Everybody, moisturize, drink some water and buy you a sun hat. I actually feel bad for her at this point, because there could be nothing worse than to be, like, consistently referred to as the girl who was hot in high school. And now, like, she has, like, the nation being like, "How is that girl hot?" Like, that's a lot for one woman. Right, and the fact that we talk more about how different and AKA worse she looks than high school over her serious drinking problem, we care more about her deteriorating looks as opposed to her deteriorating liver. It's true. Her corn on the cob teeth, you know, it's sad. Oh, my God. What happened to her teeth? Just because you get older doesn't mean your teeth are supposed to, like, spread apart like your legs. I don't know. I don't know. It's like a really bad jack-o-lantern. Yeah, I think she just... It really is. She's the kind of girl who gets a lot of stuff stuck in her teeth because she's too drunk to clean it out. And I think eventually they just spread apart. Yeah, I think so. Well, you know, the thing is, it's funny that we're talking about her in high school because so much of the show seems to have this backstory in high school. And so, at the onset of this episode, Casey and Erica had a talk, you know, in the fallout of their blowout last week. And so, Casey sits down. And I'm just, like, cracking up because Casey is, like, bawling. And she's, like, talking about the moment that Erica's still her boyfriend. She's, like, I think about that moment every single day. I'm, like, girl, like... Twelve years later. Listen, maybe in 1998, okay, or 2001, okay. But it's, you know, we're 2013 now. It's time to sort of ease up a little bit. Yeah. Get the fuck over it, girl. Yeah, it's, like, every single day. Maybe you'd find a boyfriend if you'd stop wearing headbands. I also like the way that Erica attempted to sort of, like, empathize with her. And she was, like, I can only imagine what it must've felt like to be sitting there alone, the prom dress ready, and, like, no one to go. I can only imagine. Like, I'm sure she, she's, she really appreciates that, Erica, just to rub some sort of... Well, especially when they're cutting back and forth, they're going, "I don't care if I fuck your boyfriend five times." No one talks to me like that. Yeah. But get over it. Who cares if I fuck your boyfriend? Get over it. I do it again. Jesus. Yeah. I can only imagine what it must've been there, been like for you to be sitting there on your bed with no boyfriend and only a prom dress and thoughts about your dad who'd left your mom. That must've been awful. You must've been hating yourself right then at that very moment. You must've hated yourself. Well, I like the part where Casey was, like, you know, she left me and then, I mean, my boyfriend left me for her and then my dad left my mom and I'm thinking, "Are all men jerks?" And I'm like, "Uh, yeah. Hello. Yeah. Yeah, they are." At least the men that you attract, Erica, Amina, Casey, or whatever, so then they had this, so they had this sort of like, they attempted to sort of come together. Although Casey didn't really, she didn't really extend an olive branch because I believe her is was, "I want to punch you in the face," right? So that was... That would be a direct quote. Yeah, that would be a direct quote. So clearly there was no friendship that was brokered or an understanding, but then Casey leaves, but then Chanel comes out to console Erica, right? And then Erica starts to cry, which was hilarious. And she starts to go into this random range. She's like, "I want everyone to love the me that's me and the me that's me and see the me that's me is a really good me that's me and not the other me that's me because I'm a different person. Not the me that's me, whatever, something like that." I was like, "I could not stop laughing at this drunken bitch." No, drunk Erica crying, I actually think is the most horrifying thing I've ever seen on TV. I mean, she's just hideous. Awful. Awful. Hidious. A little gas and hiccups and... You guys, you know how right now I was saying, "Yes, all men are terrible." Blah, blah, blah. And I was being all bitter and lonely. Okay, well, I'm on our Twitter feed right now on our Watch What Crapons, or What Crapons Feed. There's a guy named K. L. Kurdie III, which you're as good at naming as I am. I suck at that stuff. But anyway, he was talking about how he saw Jax in some club, and so I wrote him back, and so he put a picture up of him and Jax, "Oh my God, he's so cute!" Not Jax, but this guy, K. L. Kurdie III, you are so cute. I'm so sorry, I believe in love again. Thank you for making me believe again. Okay, commercial over. Let's get back to it. I'm in a better mood now. Well, if we're gonna talk about hot dudes, and we're gonna have an interlude here, Ronnie, what is up with your neighbor? Which one? The one that's in some of your photos. Oh, Brian, that's my, that's a dealer's auntie. He lives like store to me. Where? Which photos are these? I post pictures of him sometimes on Facebook. One of them was him eating a donut with bacon's on it, bacon's, bacon's. What is wrong with me? I've been watching that Miss Utah clip today, and I bring my ass off, and I'm just becoming dumber by the second. But yeah, he's super cute. I'll introduce you. I think you've asked about him before. Yeah, and clearly you did nothing. Well, I never leave. But maybe next time I go to Starbucks, I'll tell you, and you can stop by. Okay. Except I don't know that I want to make out with people that eat bacon, but maybe I will get over it. Oh, that was just on the donut. It was like a, actually he doesn't eat eggs though. This guy. I eat eggs. I eat eggs. I'm not a vegan raw bitch like Ellen. Oh, well then you'd love him. All he eats are egg whites. That's sweet. He eats every day. Okay. I'm in. Okay. So anyway, these bitches in Jersey. Where were we? No. I brought it. Sorry. I believe in love again. That's all. I would like to fast forward to the best part of the entire episode, which was Chanel dancing and saying Coco's back. Can you believe her dance moves? I can because I've been to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs. Okay, I used to run the bar and bat mitzvahs circuit of Bethesda slash Rockville, Maryland in the early 90s. I have been to church maybe once in my life, but I've been to the temple, I don't know, a million times. Bar and bat mitzvahs truly are the best parties on the face of the earth. And as much as her dancing skills terrify me, it made me harken back to those days of my youth when I would do lip sync to a Madonna song and then I would tell people I wasn't gay. So did you call that a barn, a barn bat mitzvah? A what? A barn bat mitzvah? What do you call it? There's a bar mitzvah for boys, bat mitzvah for girls. Oh, oh, oh. We're seeing a bar and bat mitzvah. Wait, Ronnie, have you never been to a bar or a bat? Yes, my friend David Roman, when I was a kid, was a Mexican Jew. And so I got to go to everything, like I got to go to all the Mexican parties and all the Jewish parties. It was really fun. Any brises? Did you ever go to a breast? No, that's where they cut off the baby's weenie, right? Or they cut off the skin or whatever? Skin, yeah. No, huh. I was there for mine. Ben, have you been to a breast? I've never been to a breast. Yeah, but you don't see anything. It's just, you know, just sort of standing up there and it's really nothing special. It's not like a horror film. No, well, I'm sure it's a horror film if you have to stand up there and like be like a parent and watch this. But for those of us who sit there on a pew, it's fine. Wait, Jews have pews? Yeah. Of course. What do you think there's lawn chairs in a big room that they all sit in? I know. Didn't you see where Heather went to temple? No, I would think they'd have a line of gold Lexuses to sit in. Didn't you see when Heather went to the worst temple ever that allowed a full camera crew in there? I was like, what kind of temple is this? Well, I don't know. I didn't know they were called pews. I thought the, you know, the Christians called it pews, but the Jews had another word for it. The Jew word for pew is pew. Hmm. Yeah. Who knew? Who knew? I wonder if whoever, whoever came up with pew when something sticks just hates God. Where did that word come from? Uh, I don't know, maybe Long Island where there are princesses that we were once talking about. Okay. I have other, I have other notes. I was kind of drunk. I'm not going to lie when I was watching the episode and I was trying to type things into my iPhone and they came at all wonky, but I typed in something and I don't really remember this, but something called Jeff's accents. Yeah. Jeff. There was this horrible, horrible scene that involved Jeff and his ass crack at some hotel and... Oh. Wait, wait, wait. Did you just think I said ass crack? I said accents. No, I know what you said. I'm saying through that time, the waiter, a waiter came over, oh no, I'm sorry. Actually, it's a different time. It's just the guy that looks like Kramer. Jeff is the guy that talks like this. Kramer? Kramer? Kramer? It's gay Kramer that dates Lady Gaga. Oh god. I love how you're looking at swimsuit. Hey, you can do this on. You can do this with John Gevolta impersonation. Hey, I'm John Gevolta. Hey, yeah, mama, yeah, show me that mama. Oh, mama, yeah, let's give kisses mama. Oh, I love you so much. Do you know how much I love you so much? I can't even explain it mama. Ew. And when Amanda told the waiter that Jeff loves boxes, I pretty much just puked up my couch at that point. Which by the way, not because, because I don't like lies. I don't like lies. He does not like boxes. He likes Dodger dogs, OK? The one with the box. I love that we are now acting like those immature Long Island Princesses trapped in high school. I know. I want to find Chanel and say, Chanel, give me a face, give me a face Chanel, and then slapper. Please refer to her only as Coco. Guys, I watched my grandmother die right in front of my face, OK? I've seen shit too. But I love that Chanel is like, did you tell her that? That would have changed everything. She would have totally forgiven you for ruining her life and traumatizing her and ruining her adulthood. So she can't date and she's frigged for the rest of the world. And she has procedures until the day she dies. At least if she knew that you saw your grandma die in front of your face. Well, maybe, maybe it'd be better if she knew that the reason why the grandma died was because Erica asked the grandmother to go tell Casey that she had stolen her boyfriend and she got run over by a boss on the way over to Casey's house. While Erica was fucking Casey's boyfriend. And her grandmother's boyfriend too. Meaning her grandfather? No, just well, no. Well, we have to assume that her grandmother was cheating on her grandfather, right? Right. That doesn't fall far from the menorah. Yeah, it runs in the family. It's in their blood what's not made up of wine. The part of the blood that's not made up of Madison, it's an Adderall is made up of libido. Okay, let's talk about the Adderall scene because, you know, a lot of these shows have these moments where you're like, oh, fuck, the camera is still running. Like, clearly we had one of those iconic moments last year when it was like, Luann caught fucking the French Johnny Japit was like, oh my God, they actually captured this on film. Well, Erica was caught with the Long Island version of Biff from Back the Future. Right. Exactly. And I mean, did you guys not think that this was one of those like, oh shit, mama, like not like it's makes for great TV, but it was kind of like, oh shit. Not only is she a psychopath who's gotten ugly since high school and who has a major alcohol problem, but oh, she's also addicted to Adderall and that is now exposed. Yeah, that's that was that made up that made sense because she does have so many strange ticks. Like, I mean, her body is always emotion when she's talking, always thrust. Well, she's always convulsing. Yeah. Yeah, she is. Yeah. She's mid rapture. She's like a dreidel. That's unhinged. Did you say she's mid rapture? Yes. That's amazing. I also think she looks like the opening credits of Fraggle Rock. I was going to say true blood. You know how on true blood they show that like coyote getting eaten by maggots and then they show that black lady in church, like jerking back and forth like Elizabeth Berkeley and the best scene from showgirls where she's flipping like a dolphin in the backyard of that swimming pool or just one of those inflatable gas station things that like want like flops around with a fan underneath it. Somebody needs to Photoshop Erica's face onto the top of one of those gas station flippy bouncy signs with a fringe on it because that well, the fringes are probably because it's very in style with Long Island bathing suit spashions. That is true. Hey, the the the gas station inflatable dude got his bathing suit at warehouse and most popular boutique in all of Great Neck. Oh my god. All right. You guys. So what's going to become of this girl and she's dating that. I love that when she her boy she's talking to her boyfriend. She's like, you drink too much. You drink too much. Oh my god. You drink too much. She coughs in his face. She coughs in his face like a wild animal and then he passed out in front of her and fell asleep as she was telling him all of her sad stories and problems. Well, I wasn't a great boyfriend. She's sitting there all of a sudden ranting and raving and feeling sorry of herself saying like, I'm trying to be my best. It's a lot for me. I'm like getting my period and I'm really emotional and I've been sick all week and no one gives a fuck about me. Right. And then it's like, wow, you just made yourself really attractive. Not only have you gotten uglier since high school, your shit face drunk, your high on Adderall, you are coughing in my face while you are smoking a cigarette and you're telling me on your period. Yeah. I really want to go fuck you right now. Yeah. Sounds great, babe. Yeah. Sounds like she has a lot of real world problems, you know, with her employment and her taxes and whatnot, you know, really building up on her shoulders. Yeah. Poor thing. God bless her. I love that Casey suddenly like forgave her because she was a mess. She's like, now I want to help her. Yeah. Um, when Casey was standing in the kitchen going, you know what? Maybe she'd really listened to me if I suggested that she come to AA with me. What? When she said, I'm that girl from high school. I was that girl in college who would call mothers and be like, hello, you thought it's bulimic. Oh, yeah. That was Joey. Oh, sorry. I'm watching. She's one of those girls. Well, can we talk about Joey and also more importantly, um, Ashley, wait, is Joey is Joey South Shore? Yes. Yes. Joey's the one from the South Shore. I was like, you know, she's definitely Maesar, but like the young person. Yeah. I mean, so the thing, the other thing that was going on is episode aside from the fact that Erica is like a drunk slut, the other thing is that these girls are trying to find men. So they go to, first of all, they go to brunch and Chanel does not want to sit at the corner of the table because it means that she won't get married. Personally, I don't think the reason she's not getting married is because of some superstition. I think it's that because she believes she's not getting married by seeing at the corner of the table. That's why you're not getting married because you believe all sorts of ridiculous shit. You are a crazy woman, Chanel. I think it's because she's too needy. Nobody likes needy people. Why do you think homeless people are so lonely? Yeah. Yeah. They're always asking for shit. I mean, they're always saying at the car. Yeah. Because they're always standing on the corner. Maybe if they were in the middle of the sidewalk, we'd have some money for him. Yeah. No. If they had realized, they just had to realize they're at the wrong part of sidewalk, stupid homeless people. They really need Chanel to come in and fix their lives. So go ahead. You're going to tell us about the lunch or whatever. Oh, no. So they go to lunch, whatever. And then they go to some club afterwards. And there's a really smokin' hot guy there who does not look like he was planted there by the producers. And they're actually just sitting there. And no, we are not talking about the man who was also scooping frozen yogurt on a house place of New Jersey, which we will get to. We will get there. The Reem boat. So this guy's name is Emmanuel, and he was sitting there, and Ashley says next to him. And I could not, I felt any worse for this poor man who was just innocently, he's like, "Listen, I'm going to go to the Hamptons. I'm going to go to a place where there's refined people and refined places." And then this little munchkin sits next to him and then starts calling her dad on the phone while trying to hit on him. I've never seen anything like it, and I don't believe it was the age at all. I believe this was something that really happened. I'm also offended that she uses a blackberry. Is that wrong? You know, people will not give up their blackberries. It's the weirdest fucking thing. I used to have a blackberry too, and I was never going to give it up until I played, like, Angry Birds or some shit. And I was like, "Okay, I want a game. I want a game that works." But people who love their blackberries just hold on to that shit forever. They won't let them go. Well, that's because they have an attack tile keyboard. I don't know. I don't know. It's something weird. It's like it makes-- It's just one of the reasons I hate it. Because blackberries are for business, you know? So I think that people feel like if they have a blackberry, they're really business-like. Yeah. Luckily, I've never had the illusion that I'm business-like, so I never had a blackberry. So that lunch was embarrassing. That meant they called her dad. But then on top of that, so Joey starts telling us, like, "Oh my goodness, I'm so embarrassed for her. This is not how you're supposed to win over a guy." So then what does Joey do? She starts a fight with Ashley in front of the guy, and it's like, "I'm embarrassed for you right now. You're doing a terrible job. You're going to lose this guy," whatever, like, "No, that's what's going to make Ashley lose it." Well, amongst many other things, these girls just have no game. I don't think I've ever seen so many reality stars in a so little game. Because they're all in love with their fathers. It's so gross. Like, stop. Really? Like, calling your dad. Maybe your dad's old. You want to make sure he didn't fall down. Like, what was she calling him, like, to tell him he had an appointment at the dentist or some shit? Yeah. Well, and then she called in later when she was packing up her sheets. And she said, "As soon as I put the sheets in the car, I'll call you when I get in the car." Yeah. She's one of those people that just calls up that doesn't have anything to say. You know, you have any of those friends that just call up, like, "So, what's going on?" I'm like, "I don't know. You called me." You know? I don't really have any friends. But Ben, is this a cultural thing where Jews and phone bills are out of control or what? I don't think so, but who knows? Maybe I'm just a strange Jew. Well, yes. Well, you're not going to get in the argument here. Yeah. Oh, my God. I just couldn't believe it. I don't know. I was speechless. I thought the whole thing was funny. I love that Erica, at some point in her life, was, like, dead set on getting the hot guy from Jericho High School. I mean, this show just cracks me up. Okay. So, what? We're like three or four weeks in the show. Are we 100% committed for the entire run? How are we feeling? Who do we love? I'm totally committed, and I love... I like Joey, and, you know, I actually like Chanel in her own goofy way. Ugh, gross. She'll never find a man. She's like the most desperate of them all. But I feel bad. I mean, she doesn't know any better. Her parents, like, instill it in her. I mean, I like it. I'll be honest. I've been in such a weird mood that I've had this stuff on the background mostly while I'm, like, doing other things, like rocking back and forth on the floor, eating ice cream. You know, stuff like that. But this one was on, and I actually kept getting re-involved in it. I would hear them shrieking, and I'd look up and just start laughing my ass off. Like, that whole thing where the guy came to the table, and she's like, "He not only had a bona. His balls were up." I mean, like... What does that even mean? What does that mean? She doesn't know either. That's what's so awesome. They've never even seen a boner. They think it's like a lamp shop in there. Where's the problem that I feel like? Is it a problem that what? I don't know what it means. My balls are up. What? Yeah, no. It's not you. It's not you. It's her. Listen, they're all like these goody-tushu girls who've never even seen anything remotely close to a penis, let alone, like, even a cartoon drawing of one. Like, they probably, when they saw Real Housewives of Orange County last week, they probably thought all the cartoon penises were some sort of, like, weird African animal. You know? They don't know nothing. These were all the girls that, you know, you know, everybody had one in either fifth or eighth grade during health class that passed out when that slide projector came up. These are all those girls. Yeah. Exactly. We talked about it last week, Matt, about how Ashley, when masturbation was mentioned, she, like, started to, like, giggle and, like, try it. It's so funny. It's like girls like Ashley and Chanel are so desperate to land husbands. And, you know, maybe one day they'll land them. And then these husbands are going to be the most upset, desperate people on the face of the Earth's because they're not getting BJ's. Well, they're not. It's not. Maybe they have to be blessed first. Barucha, ta'anoyo. Hinnin malcholam. Baray, Purihab. Blowjob. All my, all the Jewish listeners will sort of get that, I hope. The Jewish guys get it, but anyway. Yeah. Because you guys are, I'm like, a club, the Jews. Well, there actually was a, there was a Woody Allen movie, Dikushar, Tinghari. There was a joke about that where Demi Moore, she became, like, orthodox and was giving her, doing the Brukhataa, anoyo for everything, and there is one shot where she does it right before Blowjob. But now that I realize, so anyway, everyone can watch that and laugh. You guys, go to Netflix, so you'll get this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. This podcast is basically like the gay version of deconstructing Harry. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It even, it's, maybe we can get Christia Allion here too. Oh my God, please let's. She's not going to be available because she has a new show coming on TV land, which is reuniting her with Rhea Perlman from Cheers. I know I was at the taping of that pilot because I was catering. So anybody in this podcast audience, do you have a job for me? I was catering to Kirstie Ali pilot at TV land. All right. Wait, were you surrounded by Scientologists? I don't know. No, but she does have supportive friends. And Danny DeVito came to watch Rhea Perlman, which I thought was really nice because that was during the time where they're like, oh, they're breaking up. And I was like, I'm so sure even though they reunited, no, those two are full of shit. They were never breaking up. They were trying to get publicity. I don't believe it. Wow. Yeah. I thought that you were back. You loved love about 10 minutes ago. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love them. I'm so glad they're back together. Well, they deserve. I mean, they belong together, right? Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, two two trolls are meant to be. It's like if you lose a Lego and then you try and buy new Legos like 10 years that Lego don't fit those other Legos anymore. They change the shape of them. You're the same shaped Lego. Stay together. Yeah. Wow. Did I lose you? Everybody just like. Yeah. I started looking on Instagram. I'm sorry. Did you see? I posted a cute photo of the two of you on my laptop. Oh, is that why you got so quiet for so long? Because you're. Yeah, we're all looking online at things. That's not good, you guys. Yeah. Well, at least we are running. Are you still addicted to Tumblr, by the way? Tumblr. No, I was never addicted to that. They made me post on it for work. Oh, you mean the porn? Yeah. No, it's just like ugly wiener. It's over and over. It's like misshapen shriveled weiners. You never see a face. There's no storyline. I need more than just like a little GIF or GIF or whatever. You need to find some better sites because I tell you, they've got everything out there. I need a plumber coming over, you know, like someone who's like, "Yeah, I'm the plumber." And they're like, "Oh my God. My wife is out of town." I'm very tired. I like the standard. I'm sorry. Yeah. Any of that, anything your heart desires is available. Yeah. On Tumblr? Oh, yes. There's, I'm sure there's even some Princesses Long Island fan fiction porn up there. You guys, do not make me look at Tumblr again during this podcast because you know that's where I look. No, I don't know. Don't look at it. That's what I was getting you to do. No, we're only one show in. Okay. What's the name? Wait. What number is this podcast? I don't remember. Okay. I think we're like at 80 something. I don't know. Jesus, you guys. Okay. We're old enough to die in front of one of our grandchildren's faces. Yeah. And then cause... Speak for yourself. Cause your steel prom dates as a result. Uh, I can't feel the boy, I can't feel the void of grandma. I gotta tell someone's prom date. I gotta get a Jericho. No, wait. My prom date. But she, okay. Okay. Let's just move on. I can't, I can't anymore. I can't. I just can't anymore. I can't. I can't. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I can't. That's what they all say on that show. Okay. Let's, let's talk Real Housewives of New Jersey. Okay. Oh my God. I love all the gym drama. Oh my God. She came to my gym. She came to my gym. Ah, she's obsessed with me coming to my gym. What is, what is she doing at your gym, Theresa? Oh my God. Little lamb gym. What? More drama at their gym than at the equinox in West Hollywood times the drama at the crunch on sunset in West Hollywood times the drama at the 24 hour fitness in WeHo. I just could not deal. Divided by the gay drama that happens in the bathrooms at the YMCA on... Oh, the downtown one? Or the, which, which, why I'm saying, the downtown one is out of control? I would not know, but I will take your word. Rumor has it. Rumor has it. Uh, yeah, that gym had a lot of, you know, here's the thing. Okay. Here is really the thing. These women have been doing the show for so long. Don't they realize that producers told them, "Hey, we want you to work out this gym. Just go there. Just go there." And so they're like, "Okay. We'll go shoot this gym." And then Theresa gets mad. She's like, "I can't believe they're at my gym." She's like, "Don't you realize that producers sent them there? Why are you so dense? Is it because of all the hair that's on your lower forehead? I don't get it." Or all of the, or is it all the hair that is on Gia's upper lip? Oh. Oh, my God. That was the best part of the episode. Melania says the dumbest things. Whoa, would you tell you? She said I got a hairy grill. Melania, as crazy as she is, speaks the truth. She speaks the truth. And I was also happy to see vintage Melania back this week, aka she was a hella razor or hell cat or whatever. She's just from hell. She's a baby from hell. Todd, they're from hell. Isn't it crazy that she's only six yet she knows that the camera loves her and she's already vying for her own series and spin off? Will you see her swiping through Twitter on that damn iPhone? Kids are too savvy. And then her mom is trying to take like an Instagram photo of her and she's like, "Get my dumb bitch sister out of this photo, I only pose alone." Well, it's like the Adriana and Gabriella, they're not part of the family, so no one to watch doesn't want them to be there because they don't look anything like anyone. No, not at all. Yeah. So, what I enjoyed was that- I have notes from the beginning of the episode. Do you have notes for OC or for this? I have just a few notes here and there. I'll type in as they come around. Um, well, let's talk about the sleep chamber. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Now, why would you be excited to put your baby on something that Michael Jackson has gotten inside of? Because Michael Jackson typically likes to get inside of babies, not inside of chambers. Listen, these are the same parents who reared Ashley who leaves the gas on, okay? They don't make great decisions. Okay, now look, what is this thing supposed to do? Should you put your autistic child in like a pod and you leave them in there with an underpaid nanny? I love that Jackie's like, I'm such a good mother. She gathers everyone around and then she tells the nanny, okay, get my pod. I'm going downstairs. Yeah. Right. Oh, wait. Let's take that again. Let cameras rolling. Cut. You know, let's snap. What's that board called? Where you take a scene in a film? Slate. Again, yeah. Let's queue this up and let's get the slate out because again, you know, she's trying to probably do the right thing, but by putting this on film, I don't know, it makes me question her mothering skills like I should have done years ago. Maybe many, many years ago. Oh, yeah. She's, I'm just, I don't know. That whole thing gives me the creeps. Whenever somebody on a reality show uses something to this degree, because it just gives me the creeps. I mean, I don't even care if it's cancer, like if it's something like that, like that's sad. I mean, go to the, like maybe say, I went to the hospital, it's really sad. I do not want to watch it every episode, lady, and not watching this for that. Go scream at Teresa or get the fuck off my TV. Yeah. Absolutely. Go to the gym and not work out because you're scared of squeezing your butt, as you say, in public. Yeah. With all of her fears that she's just basically stealing from Kyle, who stole that from. It's like, these housewives just watch each other's shows and steal each other's storylines, so they don't have to do anything. Well, they're all friends with each other, and they all, all, every day, all day, it's just following each other on Twitter and retweeting and comments back and forth. So I really think, like, do they think we're that stupid? We know that you're trying to pull some storylines. Come on. Well, I personally enjoy this new lady, Linda. I think she's hilarious, and you know, I like all of Teresa's cronies, because they're all very Jersey-ish, you know, they're just like rough and salty. They are evil-hench women, I mean, seriously. I mean, the fact that she called to tell Teresa and Kim Dee that Jacqueline and Kathy had shown up at the gym, and then they just start, yeah, then she just goes into, well, could Kathy even fit through the front door? I know. I couldn't even believe I was making sure I went there. We're complaining about the girls from Princesses Long Island still being trapped in high school. This 50-year-old, like, Louis Vuitton bag of a woman is making the same kind of comments that I made about people in middle school. She's like a slim gym or something like that, or some Alberto Beef jerky with booze. Snap into it. Yeah. I mean, these women make Danielle Staub look like, you know, Princess, I don't know. Princess Leia. I know. It's so nice. I love them. I love them because they're just, you know, I mean, I hate when people say this, like, I'm not a bitch. I'm just real. But I do love that they're just real, because these other women are trying so hard to convince us that they're good people, and these women are just like the three witches around the cauldron, you know? I know. So no one is worse than Kim D. My God, she will talk mad shit behind your back, and then you'll walk into a room, and she will walk up to and she'll be like, "How are you? How are the kids?" So, I heard you visited your father-in-law in the hospitals. When did you do that? You do that on Saturdays? You do that on Fridays? How many days was that? It's like Kim D, like, private investigator. She gets to the bottom of it all. Now, talk about a real spin-off, Kim D, private investigator on Bravo. I could totally imagine her going to, like, the doc's like, "So, I heard there was some guys of you. I think, for sure. No. How could I convince you? Maybe you saw something. Is he something? No? I'm Kim D. I'm going to get the bottom of it. No. I am going to be here for Halloween. It's official. Oh, my God. We should all be supporting players from New Jersey. I'll be Kim G. I love that all the Kims on Bravo rhyme, Kim G, Kim D, and Kim Z. And that they all must have, well, except Kim Richard. They have to have special quotes around their last-- like, I'm sorry. Kim D has been on the show for three seasons. I'm sure if I Googled it right now, I could find out her fucking last name. Like, why do we still have to call her D? It's like, that funny thing is the reason why she was ever Kim D was because there was a Kim G's. They had to delineate between the Kims. And now Kim G is gone, but Kim D, she's still D. Kim G will never be gone. She will know. I hope she comes back. She's sort of this baddie. Baddie old lady. She's quite as hilarious as Kim D, but almost more hilarious because of that. Does that make sense? Totally. Everything makes sense. Okay. Let's, for a minute, talk about the hot yogurt guy. Oh, yeah. While Joe and Gia were talking about puberty, there was a hot, post-pubescent man at the gelato bar they were at. Am I crazy for thinking that this was-- Ronny wants to punch me in the face right now. I thought it was kind of a sweet moment between Joe and his daughter? No, not at all. Did I say that? I thought that was sweet. I did think it was sweet. Why not? So sweet. I don't know. I mean, for the first time, I finally felt that he was maybe kind of like a dad because he would murder somebody that took his daughter's virginity. Well, tonight is Soprano was a pretty decent father. I mean, he murdered people every day and he was a pig and he was a misogynist, but he was still a good father. Come on, guys. It was not a sweet moment because, you know, you knew the entire time he was wasted, right? He probably didn't even realize who he was having ice cream with. Oh, so that makes you a bad parent. You better hope my mother's not listening to this show. Exactly, and my mother too. I'm surprised he didn't do like a kick in the middle of a gelato store and fall in his face and break another tooth. He loves a Van Dam kick. Listen, when we were raised, every parent was drunk. That's just how it was. Your parents drew a rank and I think that it should still be the same way. Why not? I mean, how much better is it with a sober parent? Look at Teresa. She's a nightmare. Yeah. Well, it's not like he can drive himself. I'm sure he was drunk and that's why, like, a driver took them to the gelato store. Yeah. It was Gia, probably. Everything's on her shoulders. Well, didn't someone just point out that Joe was driving? There was, like, an episode featuring him driving a truck or something? Oh, really? I didn't notice it. I think it was last week. But, yeah, I think- It's better than Jacqueline, by the way, who's like, "I don't drive on highways when I don't know where I'm going." In your expensive, like, $100,000 SUV that has navigation and probably a mini butler that pops out of the glove compartment to assist you while driving. I like, it's really this idea that if she doesn't know where she's going, she's going to either, like, wind up, like, in Compton or, like, in- Look, I'm no stranger to drama, obviously. I live for it. But sometimes, even I need to put down the remote and escape for a little bit. 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I can retire that song now. Aww. You guys, this was a big moment today on episode 80. Yeah. Okay, well, sorry about that. I'm going to have to pace now on the end. God damn it, cut and pace, God blammit. So another thing that I enjoyed about this episode was, at one point, Melissa told us, like the umpteenth time in the run of this entire series, that she's like, I just want to get to a point where we can all be civil. And it really made me think, because they say this every single season, they just want to get to a point where they're all single episodes. And then what happens is, by the end of the season, they actually more or less do get to a civil place, and then Bravo just throws them in these reunions and just tears them down again. It's so vicious and mean. It's hilarious. It really is. I mean, the only thing they're fighting about, if you think about every single season, the only thing they even fight about is what happened at the reunion. Yeah. They've dropped. They've completely dropped everything else every, but I think both Housewives this week were showing clips of shit that went down at the reunion as memory. The reunion is supposed to be like a separate timeline. You know, it's like they've pulled out of their lives talking about like, you know, what we've seen. And so it's sort of funny, this weird meta experience of that they have serious dramas and fights stemming from this period when they're just supposed to be talking about their lives. I mean, it just doesn't make any sense. It makes perfect sense, Ben, because we like to watch each other get ripped apart, you know? Yeah. It's so sad. Wonderful. So it is, is Teresa's dad still alive? He's alive still, right? He's still alive, but don't you love that when they are in the car driving? Oh, that's what, yeah, Joe was driving the car and Teresa was sitting shotgun, and she kept getting like emotional and he was like, well, you know, he's going to die one day. It might be two. Right, and she's sitting there going like, oh, that's my dad. I mean, well, it's kind of, I mean, he was really gruff, and then I think that at another point, Richie was also very gruff about it like, yeah, well, he may just drop dead. Okay, you guys, but let me, let me play the devil's advocate here. We've met this father, I don't know if you remember in last season or the season before when they had that big thing at the kids party or whatever and yeah, that was the season three premiere. Yeah, the first time we saw Joe and Melissa. So we've seen this dad before, you know, he's a big fucking drama queen, just like his children, and someone even made a reference in this episode about he's in the hospital again, like he's in the hospital 20 times a year, this fucking guy trying to get attention. So I'm sure that all the husbands are like, oh, whatever, he's going to die. Let's just soak it over and accept it. Fuck this. Like we have to pack the bags and go to the hospital every time you goddamn father has a heart attack. Come on. I also loved the stupid Melissa Gorga lie where she, by the way, was totally caught in her lie when she, about like, when she visited the father. I mean, I don't think it even matters when she visited, to be honest. It doesn't matter. She did get caught in the lie, which was kind of silly because those nasty rats were not going to let her, you know, get away unscathed, but at the same time, it just made me as much as I want to hate Melissa, made me like, like her a little bit more because I was like, shut up. It's like, who cares? But I also love that she goes, okay, so Joe took, Joe took my father-in-law to the hospital on Saturday and then on Sunday and Monday, I was sick and I visited on Tuesday. I'm sorry. Four days in my book. I'm like, actually, that's exactly four days. It's not four days because it was really Sunday morning in the middle of Saturday night. Come on. Can you do math? It's a span of four days, though. I'm doing Kim D math. Okay. I'm looking for you. I'm looking for you. And since when does Kim D and Linda, why, when do they care about, like, why the fuck do they care about when Melissa Gorga went? Because they're getting on the show, you know, they're going to be, I think they're going to be regulars before we know it, but I wanted to read you this. I was reading Stupid Housewives because I always get sucked in for these little fucking links. And it's Melissa Gorga, excuses, excuses. And it shows Melissa Gorga's blog, oh my God, it is pages and pages of her like, well, this is why I wasn't at the hospital because I was, you know, Joe was sick and then he ate a soup and then he didn't feel good and it was three in the morning and then we got a call from someone so and then my daughter got sick and then it was raining and then it was muddy outside and then there was a crack in the sidewalk and then there was grass growing out of it. It's like, oh my God, woman, shut up, she is a liar. There is something fishy about it. Well, and speaking of her lies, I mean, it was kind of funny also during this episode. I mean, and I told you, we saw at the very beginning of this season the cracks, how they were going to flip the script and make Melissa the villain by the end of the year and Teresa, the hero and, you know, last night, Kathy even started to question Melissa. Yeah. But of course, everything with Kathy last night was totally staged, like the entire like the Ferrari, like, hey, where's the Ferrari? Oh, like they, there's their cameras that are like installed and there's like dashboard cams in there and they're like, whoa, where the Ferrari go? I can't believe it's missing. It's, I wonder if I wonder if Joey took it out on a, on a, on a dream ride or whatever, you want to talk about somebody being traumatized by seeing their grandma die in front of their face? What about learning to drive with Rosie in the car? Hey, kid, girls are going to fall all over you in this car. Ew. Stop it. Just stop it with your new hair. Stop. I know. Not staged. Kathy attempting to do aerobics. Oh, one too many canoes in the, in the oven there. Wow. Well, watching Caroline Manzo. You could barely fit in the door at Corinne Linda, basically seeing Melissa Gorga willing to go up against Caroline Manzo now. Now that I'm in for they suddenly got me interested in again because so far this season, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, not anymore, not anymore. I've had enough. But now when she's like Caroline, mind your own business. I was like perk up. What? I'm ready. By the way, by the way, Lauren, it's about time somebody put Caroline on blast. We've been blasting her for the past, you know, you know, all of last season, but I'm ready for Melissa to go head to head with her. By the way, Lauren was looking terrible this episode. When does Lauren ever look hot, Ben? That's true too. You know, Giannis complaining about her mustache, but Lauren always has a mustache of egg salad from the face. And I'm glad to see the face mascot finally reared its head. A.K. a Franny's new pig. Oh, Franny's new shoe. Bushu. I like I like Franny and Bushu so far. Yes. Cause hot kid. Let's go get some girls. Whoa. Well, Rosie, I just can't know. Now that's in my head. Yeah. So are we done with jurors? Yeah, we have. No, we have to talk about the party, the sweet 12 teen or whatever you call it. It's not a Kinsen yarn. It's not a. It looks like it was taking place in New Jersey's version of Space Mountain. I couldn't be totally sure. In 1988. It was like 1988. This is the future. Lasers, spaceships, life on Venus. Lips cake. Oh, yeah. That was, that was disturbing. It's that that cake has probably been sitting around ever since the heyday of Lips Incorporated. Real out of freezer. Oh my God. Hilarious. Anyway, I thought it was really embarrassing that. Well, first of all, did you guys know what a BFFL is? Best friend for wife. It's I didn't know who are stupid to know what a BFF is. Oh, well, I'm stupid and I only knew what BFF was. No, I'm saying that BFFL is like, you don't even realize that BFF is already there. You like, why I had the L. Why do that to yourself? You know, right? I hear you. I hear you. I totes hear you. The only BFFL I know is Greg Biffle, the NASCAR driver. I just want to say about the party. I have nothing to say about, I have nothing more to say about Jersey. So you guys are going to have to lead if we're going to keep talking about Jersey. I wanted to say was my favorite part that we forgot to mention earlier about evil Melania is when they showed one of her quotes about how she's into older men. Where the hell did that come from? Oh, yeah. What the hell was that about? This is Melania. Melania was talking shit, I think about Gia. This is in the salon and then they're cutting away to commercial and you just hear in the background Melania go, well, I'm into older men. To be fair, that's just what she calls salad displays. It's true. Older men get code. That's code for boxed cop salad. She wants to get her ass off on a knee swabs. Really? I think she's more of a, I don't know, she's gonna be like a taco salad kind of girl. I think so. Maybe she's a mixed grill. Maybe she likes a mixed grill. It's very possible. A veggie mixed grill or a Middle Eastern chickpea salad. Get her booty right up in there and right in those garbanza beans. Oh my god. I think Melania is going to grow up to be the sweetest, most wonderful of all of them with a good sense of humor. I love her. She's so cute. You spank a little bite. She is cute little monkey. I will say that. And I will say this, even though I do think Teresa is a monster in all aspects of her life, I do enjoy the way she goes out of her way to embarrass her kids at the parties. I think that's how true. She goes out of her way. And she knows it too. You can see she's laughing the entire time because it is funny to watch Gia get so mad. Oh, it is so hilarious. She is jumping on Teresa's side. I don't know how much hope there is for poor Gia. Oh, there's no hope. She's lost cause. She's done. I think she's done too. I'm not even joking. Her life is over. Her outlook is set. It's over. It's done. Moving on to the next. Gabella. She's got to get out of there. Oh, my God. No, I told you, Gabriella is plotting to murder all of them in their sleep on Christmas morning. She's going to have like one of those little hobo sticks with the bag tied at the end. And she's going to hop on a New Jersey transit and take it off to who knows where Atlantic City and she can go visit my cousin in Atlantic City or something. Who lives in Atlantic City? I have a cousin who actually lives in the greater Philadelphia area, but she seems to go to Atlantic City a lot of corn and Instagram. I have a friend. One of my best friends. Should we follow her on Instagram? You should. You should follow her because I'm in she has interesting photos to say the least. Yeah, I have a friend who was doing a dinner theater show out there last time I was in New York. So I went to visit with her. Oh, my God. I'm at a lot of people who lived in Atlantic City because they have like this special party like preview party where all the glitterati of Atlantic City society showed up to. Oh, my Lord. What the hell does that? It's like Rosie. It's the scariest you'd think. Oh, man. God bless their hearts Atlantic City. Run you guys. It's dirty. Speaking of scary things. Can we move on to Orange County? Yes. Let's start with Gretchen's. Yeah, let's talk about the toilette sign on her door on her bathroom door, which every piece of crap in that house is faux French bistro. I know it's ridiculous. And the best part is that someone mentioned on Facebook that in a true French bistro would say WC, you know, it doesn't even say it's wallet. You know, it'll be water closet. Yeah, water closet by Gretchen Christine Pute. Closetate by Gretchen Christine. Oh, my God. That's just going to start a bath line. But we didn't wait. Did we already talk about? Oh, we haven't talked about Orange County yet. Yes, Ronnie's. What is wrong, honey? Are you not having to pay attention to the podcast? Stop looking at porn or you're not looking at porn. How dare you? Stop looking at porn or you're dog or your flip flops or anything else. Just focus on where you're hot next door neighbor. You guys totally not stop accusing me of stuff. So I realized this week was the week that I went from going from, you know, I used to really like Gretchen and Elle. She's sort of sucking to. I decide. I actually think I hate her the most of the cast at this point. Well, yeah, that's how they're editing her. She's totally getting the bitch at it this year. She means awful. Granted, she is a bitch, but I mean, it's a little hard for me because, you know, she used to be so good and there's a lot of indescrepancies about that about her her image changing. But I'll go with it. What do you mean? I hope you guys just realized what are they? That's Gretchen's new word, indescrepancies. Oh, my God, poor parents say that. I'm like, it used to make me laugh, but now it just makes me angry because I hate her. She's like, let it indescrepancies done. Oh, Ronnie, you need to do the Gretchen voice. I tried to do it last week. I can't do it. It's a weird thing that when I do it. What was she trying to say in discretion when she was talking to her? I tried to say like indiscretions and maybe discrepancies. That was so funny. My favorite was that she finally brought back. However, that is my favorite thing. Because last year she was totally obsessed with saying, however, and this year she hasn't been saying it. But then she's like, I don't have a problem with that. However, it's like, Oh, Lord, all she needs to do is like stick a finger up in the ear when she says it. Indescrepancies. Every time something happens that she gets mad about, I'm just going to yell indescrepancies. Watching her mother try and not just scream at her was hilarious. She's like, yeah, so you wouldn't be mad if I got married to slay no more mom. And my mom's like, Oh, I guess he's proved himself. How's he proved himself exactly? What has he done? He still does not have a job. If I were there, I would have pulled a wine bottle off of the wrought iron wine rack on the wall that shaped to look like several wine glasses cascading down the side. And I would have cracked it over her head. Did you see we also got to there a more of the kitchen was revealed because of where the mom was sitting at the breakfast. Could there have been more fake green plants lining the top of her cabinets? I know it was like it looked like like the trouble with tribbles or whatever that Star Trek episode, except green. Nothing collects more dust than fake flowers from marshals. And she has them everywhere. And then there was that huge vase that was bigger than like a Mack truck sitting on her breakfast bar, filled with fake shit. It's like phenomenal leaves. And then she also had a jar next to that filled with candies. I don't know if you saw that it was like a tall jar with like half filled with like, well, clearly that's all she eats. She eats tootsie rolls and gets lips and lips and that's why she needed to get new teeth because her whole teeth rotted out from too much. And by the way, I hope you all realize in the promo that they were showing for the 100th episode of Orange County, they show some vintage Gretchen and you see her face look so much better and younger and fresher than it does now. I mean, she literally looks like a drag queen now and I posted a photo of her on our Facebook page. And if you don't believe me, go to our Facebook page and look at that picture. You'll see. Yeah, she's really for a surgery is ruined her. It's another face that surgery is just trampled all over. Yeah, like she didn't need to like she needed no surgery whatsoever. I mean, what has it been a few years? What is she doing to herself? It's called slave. It's the it's this is the power of slate. He ruins everything he touches. Thank God. Joe escaped. Well, in my God, we have Lydia, a mother feels. I mean, here she is her first her beauty. She's got this beautiful daughter who's an idiot. She's got no chance in life other than to find a man. First, she finds some old disgusting dude that barely leaves her enough money to live off for a couple years. I mean, how much is a million? Not much. And then she ends up with some deadbeat dad loser. Oh, poor thing. That mom is just like listen, honey, I need a new wig at some point. I'm not going to be able to wear this thing forever. You're going to have to help momma out in here. Yeah, it's your turn. Well, slate continues to be a sleaze ball. And when you showed up at Lydia had an event, a salsa dancing event, and he shows up with like a like a half grown in mustache, which made him look even grosser than he normally looks. And they're all the girls start in their caddy way, start making fun of Lydia for being so skinny. They're all like, where do you put all that food? You have an empty leg that I all goes into. And Lydia was like, not having it. She was not happy about it. And so then slayed whispers into Gretchen's ear or something about like we're gonna have to we're gonna have to name her cheeseburger. So Lydia immediately calls out slayed, which was wonderful. I thought I love Lydia. I think Lydia is fantastic. It's exactly what she did the previous episode when they were in the limousine and Gretchen said a sassy comment and Lydia just checked her immediately. And the funny thing is then Gretchen tells us in an interview, like, I don't understand like it was just like a whisper joke. Like, why does like does Lydia need attention so badly? She starved her attention that she needs to make a thing out of it. I'm like, listen, I haven't I haven't gone back in the archives to double check this. But I guarantee there's probably about 10 different times when Tamara mumbled something in previous seasons. And Gretchen was like, what is that? Why don't you say that to my face? Why don't you say that to my face? But all of a sudden if someone does it to slayed, it's like no good. I really need Gretchen. I have no problem with people making fun of fat people. But when you make fun of a skinny person, that's just wrong. So process the line. It does. It really does. Well, I think that like if with the other women, you know, she didn't get pissed off that the other women were giving her shit, even though it is kind of obnoxious with people always having to talk about your weight and stuff. But a man Lydia is totally right. I mean, aside from us on this show, a man should not be sitting there criticizing a woman's physical features is fucking disgusting. And then when she's telling him, Oh, and then Vicki went and got a nose job because you're making fun of her nose, you think that's a coincidence? And he's like, I was just saying what other people on the internet said. Oh my God. Well, that's why it was great that she says, okay, I see who you are. I see who you are. I mean, she got real. That was like, I mean, it was such a great withering attack. It was delivered even even tone. It was just cold and it hits Gretchen off, which made me happy because it was true because she was absolutely right, which is that that slave would not take any accountability. I did also enjoy that Gretchen and said, well, where'd you hear that? Where'd you hear this rumor? Where'd you hear this? I'm like, did you guys remember it was aired nationally on TV? Like it was not a rumor. It was I was just hoping that Lydia's gay husband and those tight red pants would like kind of defend her a little bit more because Slade really was crossing the line. And I feel like, you know, I'm glad that Lydia is willing to defend herself, but her pussy of a husband needs to step it up. Well, he he started he was trying to a little bit. He's like, okay, okay, okay. But that's real good defense, Ben. They probably tell him just stay out of it. Let them fight. Well, I want to see him start screaming and scratching some girl's eyes. Well, you know what, Slade is awesome. He is despicable scum and he's he's just like a vile human being. He has he has absolutely is what my dad would say about him. He has a lot of class all of it low, you know, just even before all this happened, he's like, is that a phrase courtesy of Mr. Mandelker? That is a phrase that is a phrase. I am stealing it. That's amazing. It's a great phrase and it's totally applicable, you know, like earlier when when when Terry's asking Slade, how he knows Lori and Slade, Slade is like, yeah, we had sex, but you know, he you could just say, yeah, oh, I knew who I dated her, but he's like, well, we didn't day, but we we hung out like the way the kids did. They hung out, you know, and she was fantastic. Like, shut up. Like, you're such a pig. Yeah, you know what? I can't get over that phrase. I think that should be Tamara's opening line and the opening credits. What? I have a lot of class and it's all low. And then she pops her hand on her hip. Yeah, yeah, it's true. But no, I was just so disgusted by Slade and I love that. Are you are you not at all disgusted by Lori wearing it? Now trying to get some sleep. I'm in a page talking all this shit. I mean, she is she is she is only on the show to bring up really dirty stuff. Yeah, and on top of that, you know what I love? She gets on there. She talks about Brooks and about how Brooks is like boning her daughter's friend and she's like, well, my daughter gets my daughter's friend gets paid to do some very questionable activities. I'm like, and you're you're announcing this, you're announcing that your daughter is friends with prostitutes, basically, like, and you're happy. How is that any different than her being a prostitute to get George? Well, that's why she's probably proud of it. She's like, like mother, like daughter. Yeah, that's pretty gross. She's like, my daughter is Hank, my daughter, who I just told you was doing so well last week. Her prostitute. Yeah, her prostitute's friend says that her part time job is Brooks. And who who really is wants to be involved with Brooks if you're under the age of 73? A prostitute, a fucking whore, of course. How crazy is that if he is using Vicky's money to buy himself horse? Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. That blew my mind. So like, if Vicky is paying for herself to get STDs, wow. Oh, wow. From Laura's daughter's friend. Wow. Wow. Wow guys, wow. We also saw George, by the way, George made his triumphant return. He looked a little refreshed, I thought. He's recently gone to the dentist as Kathy Griffin would say. Yeah, he really got some work done on his eyes or something. There's a lot of tan. If there's anyone on this show who needs a chin implant of this poor guy, no one else needs one. But this poor guy, he does he does have kind of a jazz bono thing going on, doesn't he? Yeah, I mean, I do feel bad sometimes when we rag on people's looks and they're what they're lacking. You know, it is really mean of us and we shouldn't do it. But, you know, he puts it out there. He puts it out there. He puts himself on TV. But here we are guys. Here we are. Whatever. He's got a wife who's talking shit about everyone, so why not? Well, I really love that Lori's just coming down the pike. Yeah. She's like, she's just ready. She's ready to rumble this one. I mean, every time she comes this with something nasty, I love it. She's like, hey, how's it going? Oh, did you hear that Vicki sticks cucumbers up her vagina that are shaped like George Stephanopoulos? Because she where the hell did that come? I don't know. I don't know. I really don't know. Just like a lot of words just like just came right out of my mouth and ended in a weird way. That's right. But you're here first, everyone. Vicki shows cucumbers that look like George Stephanopoulos up her vagina. There is a certain type of cucumber. It's a mutant cucumber. They look like George Stephanopoulos. They grow them in Iowa. Vicki uses them to masturbate with. We're here first. I cannot wait to say next week when Vicki finds out that Brooke has been cheating with her, cheating on her. But they're still together. So obviously she just doesn't believe it or I mean, what the hell? I would like to talk more about this wedding dress fiasco that's about to happen, which is that Tamara invited Alexis to be part of this day of looking at wedding dresses and then Gretchen, ever the instigator, was like, really you're inviting Alexis? I mean, even though she's been talking to you for like nine months, I mean, I feel like that's just strange. I mean, wouldn't that be awkward for you? Like, shut up Gretchen. Again, doesn't she realize, oh, we're making a TV show. I've been doing this for four years. I should know that that's the point. Yeah, exactly. And isn't it also just as awkward and strange for her and Tamara to be friends, considering how much Tamara talks about you, Gretchen? Yeah, Gretchen is just obviously jealous. She needs to go shut up mountain. She needs to go shut up mountain. She needs to take an express gondola right up to the top. Poor sad Gretchen. Well, I mean, Gretchen did fall for it. I mean, she's an idiot. Tamara says she's going to be friends and then she uses her for a year just to get back at Vicki and, you know, take Alexis away and hurt Alexis's feelings. And now that she's done everything she wants, she's going to go and the Tamara's a good person to her and dump Gretchen and there'll be enemies with Gretchen again. Like, she totally got played. Sorry, Gretchen. Sorry. And the funny thing is Gretchen's getting the bad at it. Out of all this, you would think that it'd be like, oh, Gretchen was lured in by the evil witch, and then the witch, but no, it's not at all. It's like, oh, Gretchen was lured in. I'm like, oh, you know, we just have like Tamara now. So see you later, Gretchen. Well, you got screwed. Gretchen cannot get a good edit as long as she's with Slade. I mean, there's just no winning when you're with Slade. And if he brings up his kid with cancer one more time, I swear to you, I'm going to drive Orange County and punch him in the face. That is not cool. Yeah. No, he is honestly like a vile human being. We've seen enough of him over all these years, where it's not just the editing, okay? It's he is a terrible, awful scumbag. Don't you guys miss the his mom? Because when she visited that one episode, I don't know if it was like a season or two ago, and she was just like, what the hell is wrong with you? It was amazing. She was like, can you please get a job? Because you're pathetic. Yeah. Yeah. No, that was a great moment. I missed that woman. I missed that. He probably put out a hit on his own mother. Yeah, he couldn't afford a hit. I'd have to say that requires a little bit too much initiative. So what else happened on Orange County? We have the Lydia needs a cheeseburger. Wines by Wives. Oh, so that's what Wines by Wives is they take wine that they want and then put their own label on it. How is that? Okay. I don't really, I don't really understand. It's like, so do they go to like Martin final and buy a jug of, you know, Ernest and Giulio Gallo or whatever the hell it's called for $4.99 market up to $29 and slap their face on the bottle and then make me pay. I don't get it. Yeah, that's what it that's what it looks like they do. They just put their own bought, they put their own label on shit. How is that? So they're they're not they're clearly not making wine. What they're doing is essentially I'm paying for their recommendations because they're alcoholics. Yeah. Yeah. And I should trust their their palettes, which I'm sure are accustomed to nothing but the fine dining of Orange County known as claim jumpers. Yeah. Yum. You guys. Yum. Tamara enjoys the house read that one can find that Chili's. I love Chili's and they closed the one in Westwood and I'm so bummed. I went to Chili's in February and it was it really sucked and I live for their chips and salsa. Oh, that's a pretty low bar. Yeah, really. Are you talking about? Are you guys talking about? Yeah, it's one thing to be like into outback for like the blooming onion because that's but you can get not you get chips and salsa anywhere. I don't know. They're my favorite chips and salsa. I really love from Chili's that chicken sandwich that has like onion rings on it. And I mean, it's crazy. It's like 8,000 calories. I looked at that. It's amazing. Is there a Chili's? Where'd you guys say there was a Chili's? I was in Westwood. It closed and I went to the Chili's in Manhattan Beach in February for a birthday party. Okay. Defriend. And it was it was I thought it was gonna be fun. I'll be sort of like, you know, I sort of like a funny like with like birthday party at Chili's, but it'll be sort of like a guilty pleasure. Like, for instance, you all know that I love Red Lobster. Red Lobster to me is like a fun suburban guilty pleasure. So I thought Chili's would be the same way and it really sucked. I got these fajitas. It was like rubber cafeteria meat. It was it was just vile. Um, I usually like Chili's. I like their buns. You have to just know what to order there. I like their fries. They're like half soggy fries. They're really good. If you eat them with honey mustard, their blue cheese dressing is very good. Now that honey mustard is tastier than Jesus. Well, I will say this. All those all those fast casual restaurants, those chains, neighborhood grills. They know how to make the hell out of some honey mustard salad dressing. The only thing I might ever get it is if I'm at like Red Lobster or Outback or whatever, it's the only time I ever get honey mustard because they know what to do. There's like, there's like some like, if you own one of those places, you are like privy to the master honey mustard salad dressing. It's true. It is true. Now I need some steak fries with the skins on them and some fucking honey mustard dipping sauce. Now that sounds good. I'm really upset that there's not a chilies around here, but I was when I was out with Ben and Michelle Collins weeks ago and Matt Bruce used to come out with us when we went to shop. We did pass a claim jumper. Okay, there's a new claim jumper. I was just in Burbank last night and I was driving back and I think there's a claim jumper that now took over the Morton Steakhouse on Olive Drive in Burbank. That was it. That was it. That's the one we passed. Yeah, you should go there. Yeah, you can't have a claim jumper. Oh no wonder you're not splurting right now. It's delicious. It's amazing. Is there is fish or is it meat? It's everything that's huge. It's every cuisine under the sun. I mean, seriously, you get a workout going through the menu is I'm not kidding you at least 95 pages. You know, I've also, I've never been to sizzler. Oh, I haven't either. Where is this? It's one on the island. There's one right near us. Sizzlers really grow. So I mean, that's really beyond the pale. I don't like to go anywhere. We'll have to like buffet things freak me out because I don't like dirty people touching like the same spoon and ladle that I touch. Yeah, because don't homeless people go to sizzler? I don't know. I haven't been, you know, when I was reading the homeless news, I was only reading it for the Jill's hour interview, not for the rest of our recommendations. And I think that'll bring us to it. I think that homeless people use the free bathrooms. I won't go. Yeah, how are you ever going to drink a Starbucks again? So how do you know so much about the YMCA then? Well, my friend told me that he used to go to the YMCA downtown and that went with Miller who just came out last week, used to check him out in the sauna at the YMCA downtown. Wait, where's Miller from prison break came out of the closet? The same day that you and I were doing the podcast last time. I had no idea what he's gay. Yeah, that's a win. That's a win. Wait, but he's not single Ben because he's dating some gay dude that was on brothers and sisters. Of course, he's, he's not he'll he'll never be single ever. Yeah, why would he be? I thought that guy was always out of the closet. Not until last week. He's cute. He's he's British and he went to Princeton too, right? Oh my god, Ben. Are you secretly the, you know, do you run his fan club? No, but I always I always like to know who all the smart hot. You sound like all of those girls from Princesses Long Island at that lunch table. Oh my god. Guys, you know what I'm really glad about? My table is circular. No corners. Hey, what's with? All right, I think that'll bring us to a close today, boys and girls. Everybody, thank you so much for listening to watch what crap ends. Find us on Facebook at facebook.com/watchrootcraphens. Find us on Twitter at what crap ends. You can find Ben at B side blog. You can find Matt at life on the M list. You could find me at Ronnie Karam or trash talk or trash tweet TV. Damn, I told you I'm bad with finding names, you guys. You can also find us on Vine. I'm Ronnie Karam on Vine and Ben is B side blog and Matt is have you gotten a vine? Have we talked about this? I feel like I'm on Vine and I'm on Instagram and your life on the M list both places everywhere. You guys are really good that you guys are really good. Will you do me one favorite before we sign off? Yeah. Will you just give me a quad quote? Oh, this podcast was awesome. Honey, me slapping. What is it? Is me kicking it? Me slapping. Can it be a low-down dirty scoundrel? You want low-down dirty scoundrel? By the way, I'd like to add, I just have doing some research online. I found a headline. One word a million ago is public with his gay boyfriend, August 28th, 2007. Thank you. I knew that I had already had this, like, masturbation sequence. Oh, no. But seriously, how did I go all these years? I was drunk in Palm Springs. Maybe that news just hit Palm Springs last week. I don't know. You all need to read and stop watching so much bribes. Bye. Bye. Bye, everyone. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of wants to new YouTube channel called Wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. 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