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Watch What Crappens

#79: Mexican Strippers and Shabbat Drama

Broadcast on:
12 Jun 2013
Audio Format:
other

This week on "Watch What Crappens," Lisa Timmons (socialitelife.com) steps in for Ronnie Karam and gets in the trenches with Matt Whitfield (Yahoo!) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) as they dissect all the Puerto Vallarta madness on "Real Housewives of Orange County." Then it's off to "Real Housewives of New Jersey" to talk about crumbling bathroom fixtures, and then we say "Shalom!" to the "Princesses: Long Island." No one is spared.

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That's audible.com/crapids or text Crapids to 500-500. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap and the podcast dedicated to all that crap we love on Bravo. My name is Matt Whitfield, and joining me as always is Ben Mandelker, Ben, say hello. Hi. And joining the two of us today in Ronnie's absence is the amazing Lisa Timmons. Welcome Lisa. Thank you, Matt. Reunited, and it feels so good. The last time the three of us all podcasted together was the night that Whitney Houston died. Oh my gosh. Why are you laughing, Ben? Lisa and I are still traumatized. My candles still burn. It's a nervous laugh. It's a nervous laugh. Just to think about what has happened to Bobby X Tina in the months since Whitney's death. Just that alone. Just that alone. It's awkward interview with Oprah in her kitchen, so we know that happened. Well, to be fair, who hasn't had an awkward interview with Oprah in their kitchen? I remember J-Lo and Ben Affleck. Pops. Super awkward. So awkward. So anyway, Lisa is from Banter with Ben and Lisa. The other podcast. That's where I was born. And Brad, and Brad. That's where she hails from. And are you guys... Are you guys podcasting with Ronnie this week? Yeah. So actually, look at this. We're doing all sorts of crossovers. I love it. Yeah. So it's getting us into practice. I love the idea that the podcast will just be thematic, even though it's the same people. It's like the only thing that makes it different. It's like that time. You're listening out there. Yes. Sorry, I'm totally interrupting you. But that's what you typically do to me. Oh, please. You interrupt me. A good amount of times. Matt at this point. Boys. Boys. There's plenty of me to go around. Is there a moment when we fight over you, don't you? I don't know. I don't know if there's plenty of you to go around anymore. Oh, that's right. But we're accounts. We're accounts. We're accounts. Okay, so you guys who are listening, apparently Ronnie is going to appear on Ben and Lisa this week and next week I will appear on that show. And this week, you are all treated to Lisa in Ronnie's absence. So welcome to the party. Thanks, guys. It's a big key party. It's a big key party. Thanks, guys. It's always fun. It's my favorite sausage fest. Speaking of songs. Speaking of songs. And that means a lot. I'm not kidding you. I'm sitting inside at this house that I'm renting in Palm Springs and my friends just all ripped off their swimsuits outside of the sliding glass door and showed me the goods before they jumped in the pool. So I imagine your pearls. Your pearls are very clutch. So it's not bragging, all right? It's normally my pearls would be clutched, but I am about two bottles of Pinot Grigio in and it's all good. And I've had a coffee. So we're all really-- we have some things going through our systems. So before we jump in. Yes. Well, if you've had a Greek yogurt, we're ready to go. Yeah. She's a cultured lady. Oh, you know what? I don't want to have to take that boniva any earlier that they need to. Sally Fields shouldn't even be taking it. She is a strong little lady. She's starting too early, too. Well, she has this one life and this one body and she's going to take it if she wants to. It's going to work. I'm not going to fight Sally Field. I'll tell you a second. I'm the dork all of a sudden. You're not. I just-- it's the Greek yogurt ton. I know. It's the-- it's the agency. Oh my god. OK, before we jump into the craziness on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, the Real Housewives of Orange County, and our super obsession Long Island princesses-- Princesses. Long Island. Long Island. Long Island. You guys should definitely get involved with us on Facebook. We are at facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins. You can follow us on Twitter at WhatCrapins. Yes. You can follow me at Matt Woodfield @lifeonthemlist on the M-list on both Instagram and Twitter. You can follow Lisa on Twitter and Instagram @timmonsleesa, and of course you can follow Ben @besideblog. And maybe it will even be nice and say Ronnie is available on the Twitter at TVgasm. Yes. And I would also like to say I switched my name on Vine from Ben Mandelker to B-side blog, so it could be a little bit more. Oh, thank you. Thank you. But I will apologize in advance. I have not done a goddamn Vine video since you've asked me to finish up with the Can't Film Festival. Oh, yeah. So, Lisa, in case you didn't know what's going on, we are doing this thing where we're making a movie, Matt, Ronnie, and I, I filmed the first six seconds on Vine, then Ryan did the second six seconds, and Matt's supposed to finish it off with Act 3, and he has not done it, but we are supposed to be a weekly thing, and we call it the Can't Film Festival. That's adorable. But Matt is, Matt, immediately after this, I want you to buy it. It takes six seconds. Living in the spirit of the film festival. I tell you this. I'm going to do this. We have a few Barbie dolls, and we have a swimming pool with a waterfall in it, and I feel like the Barbies and the waterfall are going to be happening with a vine in a few hours. Oh, my God. It's going to be. This is writing itself. It's going to feel like we're right at Andalaze, a Puerto Vallarta. Oh, my God. We're total. Why don't, can we all, can the three of us go on vacay to Andalaze in Puerto Vallarta? Oh, my gosh. Just make sure you have plenty of traveler's insurance or I buy it from Vicki. Are you kidding? Or alternatively, we can go to Acapoco. And I don't mean in Mexico, I mean the restaurant Acapoco, which I'm sure is just as good. Oh, I love that one on Los Feliz. That one's amazing. We could do a part crawl from Acapoco to El Toreto and take the red line back to Ben's place. So. Stop off. Stop off. Okay. Before we jump in, Ben, did you have a piece of information from the neighborhood? Because obviously I'm on vacay. What is happening on Fuller Avenue right now? Okay. This actually happened on Fairfax Fairfax and sunset. I was. Ronnie lives on Fairfax. So that's fine. It was, it actually, this is Ronnie's neighborhood. I was driving just now. I went to the coffee shop, which is where I got my coffee and I go to the coffee bean at Fairfax and sunset sometimes, but in this case, I went to the coffee commissary because I was being a good little screenwriter and I had my, I was doing some work and that's I like to work at that one. Is the commissary the one on La Brea? No, that's Tiago. That's the fancy new one, right? It's not new, but it's getting fancier and they have the strongest brew. Like if I. Oh my God. If he had drunk coffee from there, I would notice it through the podcast. Yeah. It would be like quivering. I, I have like train spotting moments when I have Tiago's ice brew. I'm like, so that's my brother. Okay. Bravo. It's great. Yeah. So I'm sitting on Fairfax, I'm stopped at the light and this double decker tour bus is making a turn from Fairfax onto sunset and as it turns, it's, it's, what do you call it? It's wrapped in the buses wrapped in a billboard and I see Reza and Mike, Reza from Mike from Shahza sunset and they're standing there with their arms crossed on side of this bus and it says Shah's Realty and it was an ad for their new real estate group. Oh gross. She, because you know, multi millionaires like to pick their, uh, frickin agents off buses. I know. But the guy in the back who says, accident this. I know. Next points. Well, actually, there was a guy on the back of the bus and it was like Mike's brother, like who's been featured here and there and he's dentist guy, right? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I think this. Oh, not, not that Lisa's not as big as fans. But whoever it was, he was like some like third guy gets like the rear end and not even MJ gets like the rear end of the double decker bus. What the hell would MJ be ever to? Oh, I keep forgetting she has a job. Did they, did they fire her ass or does she really part of the ad? Well, I think that she's probably, I can't even imagine what vehicle she's been plastered on at this point. I mean, what size via, I mean, if she can't fit on the side of a double decker bus, what kind of, I mean, will she fit on the Titanic? I would love to actually see her on the side of a mini Cooper. I feel like, I feel like it's not about the size. You might get one butt cheek. That's about it. I feel like it's not about the size. I feel like it's about the precision. I feel like MJ is currently wrapped around one of those little hot dog stands that's outside of clubs. It's basically people wheel out and it's totally on the bacon wrapped hot dog carts that are outside of every bad like concert that you've ever been to an NRA. It's like need a new home or a hot dog call MJ. I'm inspired to take an ad out on the side of a roach coach. The sad thing is I think we could afford it. I think we could. I think we, oh yeah, you're right. Cool our resources. We'll dip into the petty cash. That being said, you haven't lived until you've seen an oversized Reza. That's two stories tall on a deck in motion. That was honestly, it was scary. It's so Persian. I'm just going down the sunset Boulevard. Homegirl's got to get on a double-second bus. I'm suddenly craving some dry cookies. I'm an ompit. So wait, so when is that coming back? I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised. It's a winter show. It's a winter show. I wouldn't be surprised. There was a whole episode dedicated to them, you know, having their billboard on a bus and it's all this stupid stuff and they're probably off. Oh, I'm sure that's happening. They actually film. You know what? It probably, the ad probably went live recently because they film in the summer and they air it in the winter. So I'm sure they're filming right now. And I'm sure, like Ben said, there's an entire episode dedicated to them going on a photo shoot to be plastered on the side of a bus because that means you've made it in Los Angeles. Well, guess what, guys? You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Spoiler alert. There's going to be an episode about putting a billboard on a bus. Lisa, I thought you were about to really break some news, but you were just reiterating the fact that we mentioned that they may have an episode dedicated to that. Yeah. About some marketing. As I get. Well, listen, listen, the truth is this, you're not a reality show until you've had an unnecessary photo shoot and a fashion show. Absolutely. Preferably at a party. Preferably at a party at a pool party. Marriage and medicine. We're looking at you, bitches. You know what? I feel like I saw, I feel like I saw a bravo star this weekend because it was gay pride here in LA. So you would think. Let me guess. Let me guess. Was it Madison from Million Dollar Listing LA? No, it wasn't. So this. Let me tell you something. Cause he's a hoe and I'm surprised that you didn't see him in a speedo on a float. I thought so. Well, so this weekend, I sort of threw myself into gay pride, which is not usually what I do, but. Oh my God. Excuse me. Let's put you on pause for a second so Lisa and I can discuss your obsession with your new like hot body and your selfies and you're bulging biceps. Okay. He always has been taking those. What the fuck you talking about? Okay. I feel like they're creeping in a little bit more because I commented. You know, I was praising Ben a few weeks ago. I was like, Oh, your guns are back, girl. And now like I'm seeing a lot more of them on the fucking Instagram. Listen, Matt, I wish I could give you credit for that, but the truth is this. You had nothing to do with it. It was just my pure egotism going wild this weekend and fair. It is warmer. It's tank top season and since, and you're more, you're comfortable in a tank top now, huh, Ben? Well, only a little bit. So here's your thing. I'm bringing a really scandalous swimsuit right now that should not be let outside in public. I'm just. That is more fabric than that is currently on my body. Below the waist, below the waist. I will say my, the pictures on Instagram this weekend were just flagrantly ridiculous. But I am going to stand behind them because my fitness goal for the past four months or five months, and I told this to Lisa, I said, my fitness goal was to look good in a tank top for gay pride weekend. So now that gay pride week, you know, success, success, I can even speak anymore. I'm drinking. It's okay. Don't worry. So I can tell you this much. The weekend is coming gone. I, I pranced around in a tank top, but I can tell you I'm going to be covered up like a true Persian, no shoulders from here on out until the rest of me catches up. Yeah. Well, I'm going to wrap myself up in a real tea ad so that way no one can see anything around me. I only went to Cub Scout on Friday night at the Eagle with some friends for gay pride. I didn't really participate in the Santa Monica shenanigans. What did I miss and what happened to you wearing a tank top out in public? Did like, did you lose your V card again or not? No, what happened was so on Saturday, the story of heartbreak that also breaks my heart. What was my story of heartbreak? It involves some musical sisters. Oh, wait, are you kidding? I saw the photos of the pointer sisters on that stage and it looked tragic. Wait, no, I, okay, I had no idea that the pointer sisters were even performing until yesterday. Excuse me. You realize that there's only two of them left. I know. I know. So I didn't know. The remaining pointer sisters. I didn't know they were even performing until yesterday, Matt, I ran into our mutual friend Greg and speed by one. Which Greg? Greg Nelson? Yeah. Speaking of biceps, like he puts us all to shame. So he's hot. He's hot. Greg was like, he was like, oh, I didn't do gay pride. That's ridiculous. However, I did see the pointer sisters and I was like, what are you talking about? I missed the pointer sisters. I can't believe it. I was gallivanting around like a nymph, like a wood sprite. Like a wood sprite. That is how one ends up missing pointer sisters. Not realizing that I could have been doing the neutron dance all this time. You could have. So excited. Yeah. That's loose troll and I just, I can't hide it guys. I can't. I wanted to jump, but I, I couldn't. Are you not going to, are you not going to fit my favorite song into this little ditty of yours? I don't know. It depends. Is this an automatic process? Awesome. That is my favorite. That's my favorite. Is that your favorite? Yes. I'll be. That's my favorite. My favorite. My favorite. Ben, we are. They're tied for me. I love them all. The neutron dance might be my favorite because neutron's dancing. I mean, it's kind of awesome. Well, that's really nerdy. It's one of those. It's scientific. I know and I called him a dork earlier and I have no room. Listen, no. I appreciate, I appreciate any pop song that works in quantum, you know, physics and chemistry into its, into its main premise. Totally. So I feel like if I, if I think of the bravo star that I saw, it was like so minor, such a minor, minor bravo star, not Martin Lawrence Bellard. No, neither one. I saw one of the guys from the A-list New York, but I don't even remember his name because I would. That's logo, bitch. I don't know. That's what I'm saying. I'm getting in the area of it. I feel like I saw someone. So I went to the stupid, I went to this gay pool party. It turns out it was just some gay guy. Logo, bravo, homo, whatever, I got him all mixed in. I don't know what's what. You know what? It becomes me. It comes to me. Get, Ben's like, they all look the same to me. They do. They do. Um, Lisa, do you have some gossip about Kenya Moore? I have a little bit of gossip about Kenya Moore. I was perusing the Daily Mail, which I do pretty much every morning over a cup of coffee because I like to stay informed about current events. We're learning so much today, people. And the headline was about Kenya, Kenya Moore being evicted from her mansion for failing to pay for $1,000 worth of rent. But my favorite, favorite part was the quote, uh, or I'm sorry, it's not the quote, but what the Daily Mail wrote, which is the former, oh, they corrected it, damn it. They originally had it. The former Miss America winner has apparently been quote unquote, the neighbor from hell. And at one point, they're shocking. I love it. Oh, no, no. Here we go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is the part that I love. They wrote after winning the Miss America pageant in 1993, Moore leveraged her popularity into a relatively successful television and some career. I was like, everything about that line is so dismissive of her. And I'm like, I'm thinking that, that Phaedra must have written this or it's just, or just a British person because that's exactly the British people operate, just a very seething line about their career. You know how you're writing an article and you, you, you don't want to refer to somebody as the same thing over and over. So like, oh, the former Miss USA winner, I'm, they must have thought in the next paragraph, oh, the former Miss America pageant, they're like, that shit's all the same. USA America. It's the same. Absolutely. They're like, we don't have Miss UK and Miss England. It's all the damn same. Meanwhile, you know, Kenya's bragging me like, yeah, they know about me in England. They're writing about me in England, which is shocking by the way. But yeah, I thought that was pretty funny. Well, you know, Kenya never fails to provide an endless font of comedy and ridiculousness, much like me at this very moment. At this very, very moment. Very, very moment. Oh, by the way, I just remembered, oh, it's not a, not a bravo star. I had a really good celebrity sighting over the weekend. I just realized, well, Lisa already knows about this, but Matt, you're going to like this one. Give me a hint. Give me a hint. I honestly, this is so exciting for me. I can't even be bothered to give you a hint. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. I'm just going to tell you. I was not running in Canyon. You mean my backyard and my back, well, a little bit more your backyard. And I encountered Torello in shirtless Ben, did you, I mean, I can't say the word come, but did you come everywhere? As close as I could without doing it. Are you wearing the big question? Were you wearing a tank top? Wait, no, the bigger question is, were you schlepping those groceries for another photo while it was happening? I was, I took a very, very, very is you. By the way, can we cut the coming thing that was gross? No, it's too late. Wait, wait, wait a minute. We had a conversation about pre-sea two weeks ago. People will be okay. Yeah, but I don't like saying that. I like you and Ronnie being the dirty gross one. Well, it's too late, Matt. You already did it. You're drunk and in Palm Springs. So this is what happens. And I don't want to go back and edit it. So is Torello in short and real life or is he tall? This man had one of the best bodies I've ever seen in my life. Oh my God. I love that you are still beclimped. No. You're still beclimped. You didn't even answer the question. How tall is he? I think he's like 6'2". And let me tell you how hot he is before I even get to how tall he is. He was like 6'2, pure muscle and on top of that he was like smiling for some reason. And you know Torello is like an amazing smile. I'm telling you last year I got to meet Chateau Jacinco. So 2012 was Chateau Jacinco and 2013 is Torello and so in 2013 I don't even know which black athlete it's going to be. Maybe Victor Cruz. Maybe Dwight Howard. I don't know. Everything's going so well. And he just did the diving show recently. He was very cute on that. He did. He did. He did. Bravo time. We did it guys. We made it. That was a Bravo show. Wasn't it? It was on Fox. Oh sorry. Bravo doesn't really. They're so similar. Bravo doesn't really do sports. Why don't we, speaking of Kellyanne day things why don't we get right into some of our shows. Let's do it. Can we talk about OC? We have to start with OC. I mean it was beyond the season. It was hilarious. I was cracking up the entire time. I completely forgot that Alexis was still on the show. Okay that's exactly where I wanted to start because I was like can we just get Alexis out of the way and talk about her wearing that dead animal coat to dinner for four seconds before we get back to the amazingness of Puerto Vallarta. The thing I loved about that scene was when they came into what appears to be some kind of upscale-ish chain, a Italian restaurant, the way that they, her little banter with the guy, the made her do you have like, to me it seemed like a low-rent version of that scene in Goodfellas where Ray Liotta is like leading her through this play. It's all one shot. This great table. I mean they just, oh, little banter. How are the kids? How's the wife? How's the chin? And they go sit down. I'm like that was a chin. Did you say how's the chin? I did. I was going to say like the, I think, I think Ronnie's just been replaced. I know. Sorry Ronnie. No, no, no. Bite your tongue. Bite your tongue. So what I loved about that Mayor D was he was like that uber Italian Mayor D from The Simpsons whenever they go to an Italian restaurant and he's like, ah, mamma mia, mita bola. Yes. It was. You're like, this is the fucking Orange County. What is it happening? But you know what? When you hear your family. But I also, it was probably an Olive Garden with a fresh awning out. And then you're right. It was Olive Garden's new concept. It was called rigatoni field and the only difference is the salad and breadsticks are not bottomless. So because that makes it classier, a taste of testimony, if you got to pay for each one of them. So you know what I loved about that scene? It was a very small thing. I think only I noticed it. But when this crazy Mayor D brought them to their table, Alexis did this cute seal of voice, she just, thank you, and I know why for some reason that like exemplified everything about Alexis, like cute and vapid and dumb and there's really nothing else beyond that. As soon as they sat down, here's what I love. As soon as they sat down, Alexis and Jim had to justify exactly why this scene would even be in the episode. So she was immediately like, so honey, great romantic night out about those ladies. I wonder what they're doing in Puerto Vallarta, Lydia texted me, and the minute he shoots that down, like I don't want to talk about them anymore, they have like nothing to talk about. So how those chambalines? I have an important question. How the hell, I mean, she makes, you know, she was such like comic gold last season when she thought she was becoming the next Katie Kirk, however, what, why did Bravo even bother to bring them back this season? I mean, they are pointless. Well, there was drama. I can't tell. I think that they wanted to have somebody who was definitely not a full fledged cast member because Lydia's clearly replacing her. Yeah. I, I, but yeah, I don't know why either. Well, because there was some, there was a lot of drama with Alexis and obviously she and Tamara got in that big fight. And I think there's still potential for a lot of comedy gold as she goes on the journey of being a Thespian. So to be fair, he is really, really dogs. That is true. I, we have to bring this up again, but when they were doing the acting class and they asked her like, what's the most recent movie you've seen and somebody in the class is like Serpico. And then they pointed to her and she was like a fucking Mary Kate and Ashley movie. I, I was just, I can't, I can't get over it. I can't get over it. No, I, I think Alexis has a role in the show. And even if it's very small, I think, I think she should be there. But that being said, Lydia, you know what I like about Lydia? I like everything about. I like everything about, I like, oh, I met someone who's friends with her this weekend. I think maybe that was my bravo tie in really sad. That's my tie in. I met someone who's friends with her, but hopefully, hopefully he can like broker some sort of meeting with Lydia. But here's the thing. I like Lydia. I think she's funny. I think she's sweet. I think she's smart. She even had a line where she, she said that something was a more cohesive, something with her. Let me tell you, she, when she used the word purgatory in the correct sense, I was like, I'm on board. Because except for maybe Heather, who even though she's could use the word purgatory, Heather is so such a grumpy Gus. Right? You are really generous because again, I mean, Lisa, we talk about this every single week, but it is so effed up that in the opening sequence, Heather keeps saying like, Oh, well, you think blondes have more fun? Wait, you haven't met me. And it's like this woman could not be more of a pain in the fucking house. She's like, Okay, guys, let me take you to an empty bull ring, her apology. She was no lie head to toe in black, looking like frickin Mrs. Munster. Yeah, Morticia Adams. Morticia Adams. Just sizing them. Excuse me, please refer to her as guest star on hot and cleave lunch. Not Heather. I know. For your consideration, see, I was trying to post this yesterday. Maybe I did. Speak up, man. You're getting quiet. Sorry. I thought I was posting this on watch for crappins yesterday, but I was on the CBS lot yesterday, and it's where they were taping hot and Cleveland. And I was hoping to bump it, hoping to bump into her because she was such a major Thespian, but it did not happen. I mean, obviously, obviously she'll be asked back, you know, because they'll have recurring references to the real house size of Tampa, which is the fictional universe that she hails from. So guys, I have to say I typed down two quotes that were my favorite of the react. Excuse me, are you taking more notes than Ben and myself? I took no notes. It was gave by the weekend. I couldn't take notes. It's kind of a hobby of mine anyways, but Heather, Heather's these two re overblown reactions. Heather says she says something like, even though Tamara, Vicki and Lydia basically left us on a street corner in Mexico dot, dot, dot, and Gretchen says, I am, I truly am more devastated than anything. You know, she's not more devastated by the fact that her fiance has a son that's dying of cancer. No, this is more devastating. All right. Well, I can understand because her friendship with Tamara is probably more the most important relationship in her life at this moment. I know. This was to me. This was honestly one of my favorite episodes of OC and maybe two or three seasons, because it was it was full of fighting and none of it had any bull fighting, all sorts of creatures. And but and yet none of it was really important fighting. It was all just like petty shit. And they're just going after it. And this sort of gets back to Lydia, which is that one thing that I really like about her is that she's sweet, but she's smart and she does have a backbone. And if someone sort of steps to her, she does step back and I like this. Were you guys weren't you so happy that she gave it to Gretchen in the back of that limousine? Oh, by the way, that sounds a lot sexier than it was. It was the antithesis of sexy, but I like that she gave it to her. Absolutely right. The minute Gretchen started talking some shit under her breath, Lydia's like, no, turn and face me. Yes. Tell me what the problem is. Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't do passive aggressive and I like that. I mean, shows are all about like these different arcs and these crazy swings in who's our favorite to who we hate. And I mean, we've hated Gretchen for a while now, but like last night, everything changed because I was like, I'm finally fully on board with Lydia. Like I kind of liked her, but now I love her. And in a weird bizarro situation, I now am so back to team Vicki because I'm like, she's the only one who wants to have fun and sleep around and I am all for having fun and sleeping around. I'm like back and forth and Vicki, which I do like when you're back and forth with people because on the one hand she does have the most fun and the one hand she's also, she is, she makes some very good points, you know, she's the most, you know what, she's the most polarizing one on there and they, she knows they can't, I don't think they could do that show without her at this point. No way. But that being said though, she's also a super bitch. I mean, she started up with. Oh, absolutely. She started up with Gretchen. We're not that bad. We're not denying that. Yeah. I'm saying it's like, that's what makes her fun. I mean, I recorded a Vicki quote and may I, may I just pull it up here? Let's see. Only if it is the one with her whipping out the ginormous dildo. No, no. It's not that. Let's see. Let's see if I can get this work. Lisa, this is part of the fun of the podcast is that I record a quote on my phone and then I press play and my phone is like, excuse me? What was that? What, what do you want me to do? And so there's awkward silence, but let's, let's see if we can do this right here, okay? See, I told you, here we go. Gretchen, the matador is going to be fine. He's never going to get hurt. Oh my God. I told you, I laughed so hard when she said, when she was so annoyed about Gretchen's concern about the matador. I know, but I'm surprised that you also didn't capture the other quote of her because clearly Vicki's favorite word this season is stupid. I don't know. She said it again last night. She's like, don't stop being so stupid. Vicki's kind of, Vicki's kind of fashionals this season are comic gold. I really really want you to shut up. You're stupid. By the way, I also recorded a quote from Alexis that I forgot to bring up. It was like this really strange moment that I felt needed, needed to be documented. Oh, something about the running faster, I bet. You made up for us baby. We have to have four things. Give me that for better. I just want another baby. I just think she realizes that she has so little to offer this show that she better pretend like she wants something. I know. I put a pillow under that tank because that's the only way she's coming back for next season. The bullfighting. Did you guys notice this? I thought this was really funny. The bullfighting got very serious. All of a sudden Tamara got really introspective when she was like naming the bull after Eddie's last game. I was like, this is so weird. It got really somber and then they left. She was like, it's right after when Lydia's like, good job with the bachelor at party. Gretchen. I know. Well, Tamara was like, you know, I grew up in a family where we didn't talk about our feelings about bullfighting. So. Oh, I'm calling that psychothera. I'm calling that psychothera pay by Gretchen. Oh my God, speaking of Gretchen, how fucking funny was it when Gretchen is handing out the bags at the end of the night and Vicki's like, they cut to Vicki again in the confessional, the best thing ever where she's like, I wonder if it's filled with Gretchen, Christine, you take products and then cut to the women pulling out Gretchen butte's suntan lotion. I cream all the shit and then Vicki and then it's back to the confessional, it's Vicki going, uh-huh. I'm surprised that Gretchen didn't hand out a complimentary Fleur de Lee for Fresh From Marshals. Fleur de Lee bookends. And her dress like a belly dancer. Yeah. By the way, the other thing I'd like to comment about the bull fight was that they walked in. It was like a rickety stadium that clearly has not been used in about 15 years. Have you been deported, Viarda? It's a rickety mess. Oh, well, I mean, I just had to assume that because it was in Mexico, but, but I, but I, but I love it a little Mexican zing there, but I love that there's like this one like malnourished bull that's wandering around this sad stadium, sad arena, any of us could have taken that bull. Come on. It was like an emaciated dying bull. It was like, please let me die in dignity in a non-front of these four wenches. It might have been Gina Kiho in costume. Oh, that's good. Oh, wait, we lost Lisa, by the way. She's got the, that's going to try to connect her, but I guess everyone's really concerned. Maybe she was abducted in the, the mean streets of Puerto Vallarta by somebody who works at on delays. They recruited her to dance on the bars and put on flashing, flashing ears up top. Let's see if we can get her back on. Well, she'll, she'll come back on in time, but you know, let's talk about that, that whole bruja ha, which is, oh, wait, hold on, Lisa just texted me, she's trying to get back on. Guys, this is an emergency. Let's talk about the bruja ha of, of Lisa. Stop texting me. Like, was it a big deal that they went to on delays and left the ladies or not? And then they, you know, and then we have to talk about the bachelor at party. Yes, wait, hold on one second. Oh, Lisa crashed, Lisa crashed guys. So let me try to get her back on. You guys who are listening, that doesn't mean she crashed her car. It means her computer crashed. Yeah, we're going to try to get her back into, into the, into the mix here. I know this is very exciting for people, but I'm, I'm not like a newscaster. I'm not capable of like, continue to tell the news while, while something's happening in my earpiece. Wait, are you not the Connie Chung to my Maury Povich? No, I wish. I wish I was split out on a piano making a strange video for you, but, but no, um, okay, we'll just have to wait for Lisa to come back, but let's, okay, so let's talk about this. So they go off without her and it was definitely passive aggressive and they, I think they should have waited for them, but that being said, why didn't Gretchen Heather just text these women? Okay. Here's the thing. Heather is boring and sucks and look, she wanted to go like, leave and go to bed during the middle of her boring fucking dinner that she set up. So if Heather wanted to leave and be boring, fine. Gretchen is a fun party girl, like why didn't Gretchen just be like, fuck it, Heather, let's just go to Andalay. Is there, if you want to go back to the hotel, welcome back, hello, hello. We're talking about the politics of, uh, Prithavayarta in terms of what, like, who is more to blame in terms of the girls leaving Heather and Gretchen, like that's pretty fucked up, but why didn't Heather and Gretchen just text them and Vicki mentioned Andalay is only about 50 times that night. Why didn't they just go to Andalay's? Right. Lisa, my whole thing is this, like Heather should have gone back to the hotel and Gretchen should have met up with them. The end. Yeah. Exactly. Or you know what? Honestly, if you've gone on a trip to all the way to Mexico to go party, fucking go party, why can't you and Heather go out and have your own little fucking adventures? Yeah. It was, it turned into Gretchen trying to make it be her about her and like, look, the truth is, the truth is it's about the 45 year old is getting married for the third time. Really. That's fine. Exactly. If you want to have a nice romantic dinner and a quiet, a quiet setting, go to Antonio's in Orange County. Yeah. Want to go party like some drunk sluts that are way too old to be wearing those outfits, go to Andalay's with Vicki Gumbelson. Exactly. To be fair, they totally could have just gotten a couple of cocktails and caught up with the girls. And I mean, it's not that fucking big of a town I'm imagining. Yeah. Hello. I've been there twice. You can like loop it. And you know, as long as you're wearing your chastity belt, you can make two loops in about two hours. Hold on. My landline is ringing and I'm going to, I have to shut it off. I don't know why anyone has a landline. I have a landline for my ring, for my thing downstairs. And the only time I ever get called is during the podcast. Oh my God. You also have like an old school, like boxy, like, like signing over here. What's that thing called? Why do you know what the thing is called? His phone lights up. Wait, what's that thing called? An answering machine. Do you have one of those? I do. I, I like to embrace 1995 technology, he sends me emails via printing press. I have a dot matrix printer. No, I will say this. If I were Gretchen and Heather, I for sure would have been angry because like we organized this and then they ditched us, but excuse me. I have to stop you. Wait. No, no, no, don't stop me. You do not stop me. You do not. I just did. I just did. Fine. Because here's a thing. What the fuck did Gretchen organize? She threw some penises in a bag. It's a sentence. Good sir. Which is that I would be annoyed for sure, but like if you were 17 years old, you would sit there and stew in the drama, but if you are of a certain age, you sort of get over it and figure it out. Or I'm, and I'll ask you to bring it back to this gay pride weekend. Everything's crazy. So you go out. You go out. Everything's crazy. You're with a group of people. You get separated. It's what happens. You know. And you text people. And put on your, your big girl panties and figure it out. Yeah. Um, they don't wear panties. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. And then you get to wear them. 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