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That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Hello, I'm Chanel, aka Coco from Great Neck Long Island, and also as seen as Princesses Long Island. Summer is here. Summer's finally here. Schools out, warm weather, it just puts you in a good mood to go sit out at your parents pool. And if you're lucky, you can sit with your best friend Erica, who is like the most popular girl in all of Great Neck. I'm talking about the most popular girl in all the North Shore. You go to the Seven Seas Diner off Northern Boulevard and everyone's like, "Oh my god, there's Erica." Anyway, it's like when you get an unexpected gift, like Erica showing up your house, you feel great and nothing is better than a surprise. So make someone you love feel great by surprising them with either Man of Shevitz or even better, berries from Shari's berries. You guys, these berries, these berries are totally kosher. And if they're not, just lie to your friend. And if she goes to hell because you lied to her, that's not your problem because your dad was the one who told you to lie in the first place. So just lie to her, give her the berries. Even if she ends up in hell, she's going to end up in hell with delicious berry juice covered in dripping chocolate going down her throat. So send giant debt strawberries from Shari's berries for only $19.99. That's a 40% savings. I don't need discounts because I'm rich and I'm in love with my father who's very hairy and has a very good job. So I'm never leaving him, so I could pay the full price. But for you people with couches on your porch, you might want to, you might want to call because there's a 40% savings. So go to berries.com, click on the microphone, and type in, "Watch." Go to berries.com, click on the microphone, and type in, "Watch." And for our listeners, double the berries for just $10 more. That's just $10 more for two to three times the berries. More specifically, double. Are you serious? Are you serious right now? I'm serious. Oh my god. Are you seriously talking about berries with enormous, fresh, juicy, mouth-watering flavors dipped in white, milk and dark chocolate topping? Totally. Can I talk about who sent me berries lately? It was Erica, my best friend and most popular girl in high school in 1995. Oh my god, it's the perfect anniversary gift or birthday gift. Well, no one said me them because my father forgot, but I'm still in love with him anyway. And I went to Sherry's berries and it was dark because there was a blackout and I didn't care and I stood there and I screamed until someone gave me my berries. And I said, "Listen, I'm typing, "Watch." I'm clicking the microphone and I'm typing in, "Watch." Here's the only way to get this special offer from Sherry's berries. Visit berries.com. That's B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com. Click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in "Watch." That's W-A-T-C-H. You've got to see these enormous berries for yourself. So go to berries.com, click on the microphone, type in "Watch" and "Order Now." I die. Seriously? Die. That was fun. It's long. That was fun. That was amazing. And by the way, they should spend $500 for those ads because that is a five-minute commercial. I know, seriously. If that commercial had run on NBC like right before E-R after Seinfeld, that would have cost $7 million. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Watch What Crap Inz. A podcast about all that crap you love and watch on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from B-SideBlog.com. You can find me @B-SideBlog on Twitter and Instagram and also just Ben Mandelker on Vine. And with me as always, trusty co-host Matt would feel from Yahoo! Hey, Matt. Hey, Ben. You sound very excited to be here today. I'm in a good mood. I'm drinking two red bowls at the moment. One is the sugar free brand and the other is that new like special one in the silver can. Well, I'm double-fisting. I'm glad you're drinking out of a silver can and not some cups that Vicky may have purchased for you. Matt is @lifeonthemlist on all three social networking platforms, which means Twitter, Instagram, and Vine. And then, of course, we have Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Whoa, hello. Hi, Ronnie. Ronnie is @TVgasm on Twitter. And he's also from tvgasm.com. And also, Ronnie Karam on Instagram and on Vine. Did I get that right? Yeah. Whoo! A lot of social networks. While we're speaking of Instagram, Ben, you've posted a few photos recently. By the way, are you getting more buff? I'm noticing some bicep action. Yes, he's getting buff and so skinny in the face. Well, thank you. I hope I'm getting buff and skinny at the same time because that's cool. You are. I noticed. And I didn't want to compliment you via text. I'd rather compliment you in front of all of our listeners. Oh, thank you. I actually appreciate, you know, the thing is, Matt, you know the way I operate and you know that that's the best way to compliment me. So thank you. Yeah, great. In a public forum with photos and filters. Yeah, and I'll link to your Twitter. Well, thank you very, thank you very much, Matt. What are you doing? Are you taking the magical pills that I was telling our devoted listener and J.R. about? You know, no, I haven't been. And by the way, sidebar, did you film your portion of our can't film festival magic pills movie? I didn't yet because you and Ronnie both didn't like tag me properly on Vine. What are you talking about? I was only supposed to tag Ronnie and then Ronnie was supposed to tag you. I did. Matt Whitfield. Yeah, well, my name is life on the M list on. Oh, you just tagged a random person. Oh, well, I can't believe that Matt Whitfield, the random Matt Whitfield didn't even give me a like because I had this like random Vine video of me being like, I did my pills and people probably think like I'm crazy. For those of you who don't know what we're talking about, we have started a new, and we haven't registered this yet, but we're going to register the can't film festival. It's a spin off of the can film festival. And instead of, you know, walking the red carpet and being glamorous in the south of France, the three of us are just going to try on a weekly basis to cobble together three seven second Vine videos into many 21 second masterpieces. Yeah, it'll be like a Frankenstein video. Ben and I have both become obsessed with the Vine sets obsessed, and I have recently been posting these videos that star cherry tomatoes, and they enact their own little dramas and and people seem to like them, so I'm going to keep doing them. But back to the point, how are you getting so skinny and buff at the same time? Because you're looking extra hot. Wow, thank you, Matt. Honestly, it's a this crazy thing that I go to the gym and I eat healthy and amazingly it works. So lucky that we're guys and I can tell you I can I can tell it more specifically. I I left three days a week and then I do cardio three days a week and I just I do just try to eat healthy and I have a friend that we just we just sort of check in with each other about what we're eating and it kind of helps me stay on track, although I ate really bad stuff this weekend, but that's pretty much all I've been doing and it's like slow. Will you well you teach me how to lift weights? I've never lifted a weight in my life. I don't know how to do it and I'm embarrassed to go to the gym and try. I will be honored, but it's sort of like the blind leading the blind, but I will say also another thing that thing that really helped me is that I downloaded an app called full fitness and you sort of like you track what you're like what you're lifting and how many reps you're doing. Who cares about that? It's good because it keeps you on track. Can you just imagine? Can you can you just imagine the amazing selfies we could take at the gym in the mirrors there? I have yet to take a gym selfie and if you ever become that person do not know you can't become that person. I can't if I do I'm telling you right now if I ever do if I have a lapse in judgment, I apologize. You'll be like those guys on the Long Island princesses at the pool party. Oh way to bring it back to Bravo. I like that. Yeah, I'm trying to get away from the goddamn gin. I've gained 50,000 pounds. Let's move on. Stop talking about your goddamn working out and your hotness in the summer. Fuck you guys. I'm hot. You know how hot it is just being in a fat suit in the middle of the summer? How hot is it? I can't even take a vine. So speaking of me while running, you had like a shirtless vine just the other day. I did. That wasn't really a sexy selfie. That was more of a just waking up in the morning kind of a selfie where I just made sure my nipples were in the picture. By the way, we're burying the lead, which is that Ronnie has the funniest vines. I love Ronnie's vines. Yours are pretty good. I love vine. I love vine. It's the ultimate in like just entertaining yourself. I can just throw them all day long. So speaking of celebrities and entertainment at large, I had a rash of celebrity encounters this weekend and some of them actually are relevant to this podcast. For those of you who complain that I name drop, guess what? It's about to come on hard and heavy. It's about to get ugly. It's about to get a real ugly. So my parents were in town. We decided to have a special dinner. So we went to Nobu Malibu. And by the way, if you if you like us on Facebook as you should, facebook.com/watchmorecrapins. You have already gotten a sneak preview of this. Another incentive for you to like our Facebook page and go to it. So anyway, I went to Nobu Malibu. First of all, it was so full of celebrities. I walked right in and standing right there, Julie Chen, right there, right next to me. Wait, excuse me, what night of the week was this Saturday night? That blows my mind that celebrities go out on weekend nights. Well, where are they going to do? Stay home and massive. I mean Malibu. Well, that's what I do on Saturday night. But, um, you know, a lot of a lot. Oh my god, that pre-sea conversation from last week was wildly inappropriate slash. That's what people commented most about on our Facebook page, not the content. Yeah, not like, not like the Bravo content. Yeah. But people are like, oh, you see, diet, pre-sea diets. No, they go out, you know, I'm at also because it's also beach house season. And a lot of these celebrities have houses in Malibu. And they like, they live in like Malibu colony. And there's not a lot to do in Malibu. And so, Nobu Malibu is what this, this new building is about three months old. The restaurant's redone. So it's a scene. It's a big scene. So I walk in, Julie Chen is right there. I'm like, I have to say something because like Julie Chen, our fates are like intertwined in strange ways. So I, she's talking to some people. I just go up and I interrupted her. I would never do this. Do what did not go up to Julie Chen and say, hey, I am the guy who invented the term Chenbot. I did. Because you know why? Oh, my God. Here's why. Because she, Julie Chen has named checked me an entertainment weekly before. I don't know if you know that she wants. No, we know that Ben, we still have the copy of EW. Yeah. So I knew that if I went and said something to her, I was confident that would be well received. I mean, before, before she was the Chenbot, she was just a generic hostess. So in many ways, I feel like I have given her the gift of celebrity. Don't you agree? Oh, my God. No, anyway, I'm just kidding. So, so I go and I said like, hey, I'm Ben Mandelker and I came up with the Chenbot thing. And she was so nice and so fun. She did a little robotic movement. She goes, I want to thank you. I embrace my inner Chenbot and my outer Chenbot. And I was so excited and we were like talking. And then of course, Les Moonves comes over and yanks her away. It's like, our table's ready. And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe Les Moonves yanked Julie Chen away right in front of me. And then I realized that I looked to my right. The woman I had interrupted was Diane Warren. Julie Chen was having a conversation with Diane Warren. Well, you know, her ass is used to being interrupted. I just went right on in there. So then there were some other random celebrities, which was cool. Wait, wait, wait, wait. How was she? Was she kind? Julie Chen? Yeah. Yeah, she was very kind. She was like, very sweet, very friendly. She was great. She looked great. We love Julie. We love Julie. And let's move as look great by the way. She unless sat behind me at the Madonna concert tour a few years ago. And? Oh, hell no. Did we lose Matt? Is this a cliffhanger? Okay, we're back. Hi. Sorry, Matt, you were saying that Les Moonves and Julie Chen sat behind you. Go. Yeah, they sat behind me at the Madonna Reinvention concert tour at the fabulous forum. And I was talking to her for like five minutes about Big Brother while Les was off either getting a drink or a handy in the men's room. I would never say that about one of the most powerful men in Hollywood. Big on. Well, I just did. It's not like he's giving us our own TV show. And so he came back with like a drink and a soft pretzel. And then she shut me out when he came back. Yeah, she just she was talking. And then I was just, oh, I'm sorry, I've got to go. So then it was just like me and Diane Warren standing there like two lumps. Did she have? Is she still rocking that mullet? Yeah. That's how I recognize her. I was like, what is this strange pseudo Liza Manelli hairstyle going on? Yeah, the only people that have that haircut are Liza Manelli, Diane Warren and Billy Jane King. Yes. And kind of Jane Lynch. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, I know the other celebrities over there, Martin Short was there, which was cool. I mean, it wasn't that cool. I mean, she's just there. And then Lori, we weren't, I was going to say weren't Kyle and Mauricio there? Hold on. I'm telling my story. I'm telling my story. Oh, my God, you're taking forever just like you guys took forever to get the goddamn Sherry's barriers added. Don't be, don't be bitter now. I see you give it then you take it away. Niceness. So, anyway, Lorraine Bronco bumped into my dad, which is exciting. Brody Jenner walked in looking like an idiot, big shaggy hair, trucker cap and a sweatshirt. Hot. No, hot. He looked like a homeless bum. He looked like a bum. Yeah, hot. I mean, no, a bum needs my wiener. Yeah, exactly. And mine at the same time. Oh, my God, we would just giggle the whole time. I'd be like, Oh, my God, I can't believe your wiener looks like that. It's really pretty. It could actually be a model. It is? Yeah. So that's on a different Instagram account, not life on the MLS. Oh, Ben, by the way, I came up with a new porn name for you. What's that? Ben Dichler. Oh, well, that's that's a usually people have I've gotten a lot of Ben man liquor. Oh, okay. That's better. Sorry. Ben Dichler. I'm sticking with Ben Dichler. Someone can be Ben Dichler. Anyway, so at the end of the night, 1130, Mauricio and Kyle and Camille all walked in and they were at the bar and they were sitting around the corner from Brody Jenner. And basically, my brain exploded at that point. It was like more than I could more than I could handle. I sort of drifted by them. And I heard Mauricio's deep booming voice. And even though he's become an asshole this season, he's really sexy in person. That is more star power than when I actually went to the Bravo A list awards in 2008, sitting at bar at Nobu and Malibu. And I'm kind of jealous. And I'm surprised that Madison from million dollar listing LA was not there because he is the king of Malibu as you know. I know he's probably like flinging sushi in the back room. Hey, and Ronnie, are you that dense every time I bring up Madison? I know. I was like, what's your tackle, dude? What's your problem? No, he is not on yet. And that character is retired until he comes back. All right. Well, that's all our gossip. The gossip is that I saw Camille and Kyle. That's my long way to play. There we go. That's a lot of that's a lot of D list. There's a lot of D listed Nobu. He must be freaking out. But you know, I did record secretly some of their conversation. And I want to play it for you guys right now. Is everyone is everyone ready for this? Yes. I am ready. Okay. Wow. You should have eaten at Andalays. Oh my god. I can't even wait to talk about Andalays. But we should probably get to the even more important part, which is Bravo New Jersey, right? Yeah. Fine. Well, we're going to say what I was going to say. I was just going to mention the David Foster Hollywood Walk of Fame unveiling. I posted a photo on our Facebook page forward slash Watch What Crapins. And a lot of you guys commented on it. And I thought it was really interesting. But didn't David Foster look like he was cozying up more to Lisa Vanderpump as opposed to his wife, Yolanda? Who wouldn't? His arm was around Lisa. It was not around Yolanda. Lisa was wearing a matching outfit. And then Brandy was there with her tits hanging out in a cheap looking blue dress because she's poor. Well, Yolanda has her arm around him. I don't know. I feel like he's trying to grab some Vander booty. Well, I'm sure he could have had it millions of times. If you okay, would you would you rather get it on with Yolanda or Lisa? Oh my god. I'd rather stick my wiener and a ninja blender. I would say I would say Yolanda actually. I would say Yolanda as well. I mean, even though it'd be fun to like crack open Lisa's dusty trunk. I just think the Yolanda would be more fun. And then afterwards, like you could have like a souffle. I think they would both smell like old lady department stores. I just don't want to catch Lyme disease from her. That's true. Can you catch Lyme disease? I don't know. I don't know if Lyme disease is sexually transmitted or just tick transmitted, but she probably has ticks anyway. Yeah, if you got one of her ticks on you, you would catch it. Yolanda, it's a very sensual tick. If you got it. I have a refrigerator. I don't even know what accent that was. I started doing British. I'm so used to doing Carrie from marriage medicine that I just automatically start doing her voice. So instead of sending a dick pics, you'll share dick pics. Or tick pics. Or tick pics. Ben Manticler. Get it? That's that should be your secret Instagram account. Yeah, it is. It's really my fat has nothing to do tickling. It really is just pictures of ticks. Verbal and otherwise. Okay, let's move on to Bravo. We have many things to discuss, including the season premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Then we'll move on to Princesses, Long Island, followed by the real Housewives of Orange County. And then if we have a few seconds at the end, we may bother to discuss newlyweds and or any of that other shit that they're still airing. Yeah, like, or maybe the trailer also for Eat, Drink, Love, which is so bad. All right, let's talk about New Jersey. So impressions, everyone. First impressions. My hated it. A year has passed. How has a year passed? And they're still talking about the same shit. And if they care so much about their kids and their family and all this, then how come they will refuse to talk to each other until there's cameras present? I know stupid. I know. It really, the thing that really bothered me the most in the episode was, first of all, Gia has become a little pill. She's awful now. Gia has become her mom. She went. Look, she's she's awful, Ben, but you have to blame Teresa. I mean, they're just said to me, your mom. They are grooming her to become a second generation housewife at age nine. It's disgusting. Well, it's disgusting. Or 11, because she's 11. She's got a real attitude. It's I really have feel like I've never seen so much on TV how one like mother's behavior has truly affected the development of their child. And you can see just the way both the parents actually, the way they treat them, Gia at one point goes to to juicy Joe and says something about Tia, Tia, what's her face, whatever. Melissa and. And you mean, Zia, Zia. Sorry, Tia for uncle. Sorry, Zia, Melissa. And now it's Zia and Zio. I don't even I can't deal. Are you? Are you watching these shows drunk? Listen, they are like masters of articulation. Are you talking about? I'm just talking about Melissa. The point is this. Gia is complaining about Melissa to juicy Joe. And he's like, well, he's like, the thing is that that Melissa and Joe get their kids involved. And it's just it's shameful. And I'm like, you realize you're saying this to your kid, like, you're saying this to your kid. You're involving your kid. It's like that once you face strippers, the terrible mother. Awful. Yeah, Gia's a little bitch. And I do think that Bravo is going to spin off her show and to like little bitches of New Jersey. And it's going to like, it's going to go from like the 40 year old lady fad to the 11 year old fad. And it's going to be disgusting. And we're all going to realize that we should wear condoms and abort. I mean, seriously, post birth abortion even. Let's just try it, guys. My main takeaway from that hour that I can never get back is that it was an entire hour dedicated to Caroline Manzo attempting to get a daytime talk show that she does not deserve. It was disgusting. Oh my God. Did you not feel the entire time she was auditioning to like transition her radio show from Sirius that probably nobody is listening to and becoming like the next Bethany Frankel? Guess what? Nobody wants to see that lump sitting on a log interviewing her children on a daytime talk show unless it's cable access in New Jersey and you have no life and you would rather watch that than kill yourself, but then you'd kill yourself after watching it. It's good morning Hoboken with Caroline Manzo. Hey Hoboken. I hate with Fabli's fight. It makes me so sad to see Fabli's fight. And so I'm going to do you all a huge favor and talk to your family. Shut up Caroline. Okay. Okay. Excuse me. We need to resurrect Shut Up Mountain. And we need to take a road trip there this summer with Caroline and then drop her off there because the entire time she's saying like, well, I promised myself and I made a vow that I was not going to get involved in your family affairs, but I'm going to get involved in your family affairs with X, Y and Z. Well, and also she's going to go and rolling again. And she has nothing else to do. She's sitting home alone all day while her husband's out fucking people and her sons are out pretending they're not sucking dicks to the truck stop. The only way she's going to go to Shut Up Mountain is if Albie and Christopher move up there because otherwise she's going to head right back to Hoboken as soon as possible. So true. So true. And were you guys not a little upset not to see Cufface Cufface? I know. I want your featured in the season premiere. Well, we saw Lauren thinking that she's like hot now. I know. Like wearing evil face. I'm so sorry, but you are not hot enough to be acting like that. Stop it. Skinny does not equal hot. Go back to the egg salad counter. She's not skinny. She was wearing like, I mean, she was still wearing a mumu like tea top situation. Listen, she's always going to be wearing a skin dress because she was that fat. Like you you don't just ever get rid of it. Trust me. I know. All right. Stop. Did you just say a skin dress? Yes. She's always like her birthday suit is like a dress. Like she's always going to be wearing a skin dress. Like what's the lotion in the basket? Skin dress? Yes. Oh my god. He wishes he would have been able to actually wear that thing and stop killing so many young girls. He could have belted that. He could have finally had a coat. Buffalo Bill finally could have had a coat. Thanks to Lauren Mansfield. Buffalo Bill stops freezing during the winter. Thank you, Lauren Mansfield. Keep up the egg salad habit. Well, Lauren Mansfield, congratulations on losing so much weight through surgery that your dad paid for. But honey, you still an ugly bitch. So cut the crap and eat something stupid. Listen, you're speaking to the CEO of Keface. Okay, show some respect. She's the less moon vez of Franklin Lakes. I was also, by the way, a little disarmed by the fact that Melania is suddenly sweet and well behaved and seems to have a good heart out of nowhere. Where did that have that happen? How hysterical is that? And the best part of the season still is what they show in the previews of her jumping up on the pole in the limo and saying, "Look, I'm Melissa getting up on the pole." Right, so Ben, I think that you need to reserve those comments about her. Give her a few more weeks before she starts sitting in, before she starts sitting in package salads in the frozen food aisle. That's true. She was in a contained environment. We haven't set her loose on the Mediterranean in a cruise ship or in just the basic supermarket. Anyhow, she leaves that. Okay, good. Well, she's definitely being, I don't know about being a nice person, but she's definitely being trained to be a good little reality star. They're like, "Okay, honey, we're gonna talk about your cousin now. You ready to do the scene?" "Okay, I miss her. I miss her so much. Whatever I've seen her for a year." So, yeah, but like two seconds before that, she's screaming at Gia and saying, "Don't hit me in the face. You stupid jerk." And then they all prance around and their mom's high heels and act like drag queens. They all actually talk like drag queens. We do the silent one because the silent one is silent. Because the silent one is probably the one that Midget Joe and Teresa had together and it can't talk yet. Wait, that silent one is already plotting to murder her entire family, and who's going to star as the family members in the Lifetime Made for TV movie? Yeah, she's gonna be a serial killer and her nickname's gonna be silent but deadly, like the fart. I like that the silent one is actually also the cutest of them all. But she knows not to open her mouth. She knows what she's got. She's like, "This is what I'm working with here. This is all I'm working with. I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to leave you with my strong seat." Well, the best thing also that we haven't talked about while this is going on is that they're getting all their fancy clothes together for the people who got hit by the Hurricane Sandy because people need their fancy clothes, stupid Teresa. People need fancy clothes. Yeah, because nothing's going to keep me warm while I'm homeless in the middle of the winter then at the dazzled mini. Listen, there were a lot of hookers that lost their outfits and they need they need Gia's leftovers. Well, if those hookers, I mean, actually, I mean, didn't it blow away the Jersey Shore? It did. It did. It got us like enough of this. Actually, I think it was God's reaction to reality TV for the past five years between Jersey Shore and the Real Housewives of New Jersey. He was done. Yeah, you think so, but he might have also just been upset that Jersey Shore was canceled. I think that basically Teresa was an idiot for donating her clothes because she didn't realize this was a sign. The sign was, "You're next, hoard all your belongings because you're going to be destroyed very soon." Oh, if only. And actually, here we go with another season of Teresa looking like the good guy. How are they doing that? I don't think she looks like the good guy. I do. She seems like so calm and normal. She's like, "I have a Melissa, you know, whatever." She seems like she's using the kids the least even though you know that she's writing that entire script for them. Meanwhile, a huge portion of this episode pertained to these two little girls having a play date at some beating place. And I could not believe the amount of drama that went into simply planning the thing. To Melania invited Antonio over, and that should have just been the end of it, but instead-- You're starting to sound like Caroline Minzo. Well, no, because listen, this is logic here. Okay? Melania invites a little girl over, so you know what, Melissa, drop your daughter off and just get out of there. Why are you making this whole thing? Well, no, I don't feel comfortable. I want to take them. And then all of a sudden, both mothers are in this play date. It was so stupid. Yeah. Well, who's play date? It was my idea for the play date. So I should be the one to go. No, it's her idea. She should be the one to go. Maybe she got together. Well, you tell her and then giving stupid Gia the last say in how to text it. Oh, my God. That really showed the intelligence level of Teresa that her daughter could send the text, and it sounds just like her. What are up with all these strip mall stores in Jersey that sell hooker clothes for children and adults? I mean, we have posh for the old ladies, and then I'm sorry, but Gia is 11 years old and was trying on a turquoise mini hooker butt hanging out dress. That's called Code Couture in New Jersey, by the way. Well, that's nothing new. Don't forget skimely. It's bowling alley in El Paso, Texas. They were rocking out in the '90s, too, girl. Yeah. For you to question New Jersey's taste in fashion is like me questioning why the sky is blue. It's just that's the way it is. That's the way it is. It's the way it's the way the world is made. The sky is blue. There's stars and there's a moon and people in New Jersey have terrible fashion sense. Did either of you have boyfriends when you were 11 years old before you got your monthly visitor? Oh my god. I did not. Did your parents talk to you about the birds and the bees when you were 11 before your monthly visitor came to town? My parents didn't talk to me about the birds and the bees. I just found out from school. Is that why you're still a virgin? Yes. Yeah, my mom didn't want to talk to me about the birds and the bees. She just said listen, there's something called sex. You're going to probably have it one day. I don't ever want to know about it. Don't ever tell me about it. I'm like, okay. Is that when she thought you were straight? Yes. That's before she knew. That's before she knew there was like flesh sword fighting going on. And then she was like, tell me all about it now. Yeah. Then she's like, here's my phone. It has a camera on it. There and there and there. Now, we didn't talk about it. We didn't talk about it in my house at all either. We didn't talk about drugs, sex, or religion in my house at all. So, I went into this world knowing nothing. Lord knows we talk about religion in my house. Oh, God. My first school was called Jesus Chapel. We know it was not. It was. That's all we fucking talked about was that. Jesus and chapels. Jesus and what he meant and like how good I did making my little felt Jesus for the big felt thing that goes up in the church every year. Wasn't he kind of hot though? Like he had like some scruff and some like nice long hair and the tan and some. He's very silver like hipster. Yes. Yeah. This was fucking hot. I mean, that's why people followed him. Do you think they would be following some hairy fat guy? I mean, that's why Buddhist never speak. They're besides themselves. Jesus was the less moon ves of ancient Rome. But like, but like hotter, younger, tanner with some cute sandals and some really good like facial hair. He was like hipster, less moon ves in a robe. Jesus was hot and he always brought wine to the party. Holler. I didn't mean to have wine. He could make it. Yeah. He might have also had a fat palm, which Ronnie really likes. Who? Jesus had a bony palm. He didn't eat. Yeah. Oh, that's true. But I like him emaciated. What can I say? That's my thing. Okay. So blast from me aside. Yeah. So I thought it was funny that Real Housewives of New Jersey was on the same night as Game of Thrones. Wait, don't tell me what happened. I haven't seen anyone on my one. I'm not heartless. But there were two parents talking about their kids not bleeding yet. I thought that was really interesting. I was like, wow, Real Housewives of New Jersey has something in common with Game of Thrones. Unfortunately, people aren't getting their throat slit on Jersey like they should be. But they're certainly our dragons. Yeah. I mean, I, I, New Jersey, as you guys know, New Jersey and New York are the housewives that just free, they, they stress me out every year. They're so negative. They're so gross when they go there. They're so gross and that accent and like on one of them, you've got Ramona just never stopping and going full force, full force, full force. And on this one, you've got all of them. They're all horrible on this one. So these trust me out. And so to see it all the same fucking people talking about the same fucking thing after a year has supposedly passed, which I don't think it has. I don't know where they're getting that timing. But if I'm depressed already with this show, I hate it. I really hate it. I don't understand. I mean, I'm convinced that Kathy was invited back only because of Rosie. Rosie who's dressing sort of like a mix between lies and Manelli and Julia child these days. What was up with that jaunty scarf? I stress like Rosie O'Donnell, the daisy quitter talk show, and she was like, finally, I could be a dyke. Put on my crux. Yeah. She burned all the kush balls, you know, like got herself a giant cat. What is what is that? I love that Rosie's makeover is like a really bad makeup and grandma hair. It's like a disaster. It's like she went to Macy's and got got it done by a blind girl who was hired for like affirmative action or something. And she's also she's she's also one of those people that's like, oh, I went on this date with this girl and online. She looked hot and then I saw her and she was like hideous. It's like Rosie. I know she was got a rear view mirror in your car that you can see your eyes out of and you must think that you're hot. Get a full length. Get a full dating will become much easier. I love that she also thinks that internet dating is scary. Well, where else is she gonna meet some chicks? Really? And by the way, is it scary for her or is it scary for the other person? Because I know if I should have been a date and Rosie was there, I'd be like, holy shit, I got to get out of here. Yeah, you'd put a cap on yours too. I'd be like, who invited the bouncer from Benagan's here? I bet they have bouncers at Benagan's in New Jersey. That would be the place to have a bouncer. And they have Benagan's in New Jersey, even though Benagan's closed and it was a dated reference, I'm sure they still are alive in New Jersey. They don't exist anymore? I think they're almost all closed except for like maybe one or two that are like. Did they get converted into Ruby Tuesdays? No, Ruby Tuesdays is more, they tried to make Ruby Tuesdays more upscale. I'm sure it's just like a carriage. Nothing with a, nothing with a salad bar is classy, people get it together. How dare you? I just went to the soup plantation and it was plenty classy. The one at the Bev Connect? Yep. Ronnie, you guys like the shopping without me? Bevcon. Well, that was two weeks ago. You knew that. You knew that's when we invited you and you said no. No, that's when Ronnie invited me, not you. And I'm still going to be bitter about it until the day I die. There's nothing bitter about because I was driving. Listen, Matt, I think now we're overdue to have an awkward play date with beads. But we don't talk about what's really bothering us. But we make cute bracelets for each other that say best podcasters forever. And you try and buy things in the store just to look rich. Like, you'll be like, oh, I like this yogurt soup plantation. Is this machine for sale? That is the funniest thing ever. Like, I just am going to start going into stores and asking if I can buy the cash register. Can I buy this aisle? And the fact that it's a splay rack. The fact that they both wanted that ridiculous sink with all this like this mishmash of beads and gaudy. Like, it looked like a game of bejeweled barfed up on this sink and they both wanted it. I couldn't believe it. So something is coming down the pike this season. Well, first of all, we know there's a huge fight. We see a little bit of it, even though I don't think that that's the same fight. So I think that they have a couple of big fights this year. But another thing we see coming is trouble with Melissa and Caroline, which is going to be awesome because you can already see with this season that Melissa has fallen victim to the house was curse where she starts believing all of her paid for Twitter followers who tell her that she's a victim and everyone else is evil. So she comes back to the season thinking that she's a victim and starts shit talking everybody and treating them like they're the villain. And then she becomes a villain. You can already see it happening because it's brewing. It's brewing because they need to. They need to resuscitate Caroline because last year she was the villainous. Everyone was tired and sick of her and all of her bullshit. So this year they're going to try and build Caroline back up. Terram, Melissa down. And sidebar, did you notice that Melissa had a fresh upper lip and more of a Michael Jackson nose than ever? Yes. Yes. And she's also got something above her eye. This is something that's really weird. She's got something above her eyes. I don't know if that she's done so much Botox that like her muscles are starting to slack up there, but her right above her eyes close to her the bridge of her nose, her eyes are sagging. It's like weird. They're sagging at the wrong part. Does that make sense? They're not sagging on the outer side of her eyes. They're sagging on the inner side of her eyes. That is disgust. I mean, her whole face looked completely different to me. And I mean, she keeps like glossing it up and bronzing it up and rocking a fedora. And every time she puts on that fedora, I just keep focusing on that upper lip. And she was giving me Taylor Armstrong. You are now listening to the Gayest Podcasts in the world. Well, if in case you're just joining us, we are three gay guys harping on the shape of an upper lip and the eyebrows of a woman. Well, I think, you know, I think it's very important to note this stuff because it's the evolution of a housewife. It always happens. They start out. I'm not complaining, but you're right. And before you know it, they're just mangled pieces of plastic with horrible personalities who have ruined their children. They just look like a Salvador Dali painting. Well, you know, the quote that Mareline, okay, now we're really getting five militias over here. I'm like, Mary Magdalene Caroline. So when Caroline says, you know, Theresa always warned me about Melissa. And now I'm starting to look at Melissa. Totally, totally Melissa is showing her true colors. I love it. I can't wait for her to become a horrible, horrible, horrible human being. Okay, well, you guys keep talking about three people. There are two others called Kathy and Jacqueline and they do nothing. Jan. Oh, Jacqueline cries every five minutes. Like she just realized her son is what does he have? I don't want to say retarded because her son is autistic. And she's acting like she just found out and she's going to cry every five minutes. Grow a pair. Your kid is not going to be a scientist because he learned how to say iPad. And let's just love our children for who they are and stop squeezing all of their sadness out so that you can get more airtime. And if you doing your face like that, please do something to your neck because it looks like she had a necklace. She had a necklace. She had a sleeping bag that to Caroline's just sleeping in. Listen, I think the reason why her a horrible person. I think the reason why her son cries so much is not because he's autistic. I think it's because like Jacqueline's his mother and Ashley's his sister. And he's like, why? Why have I been born into this? I actually think that Ashley is the mother. She could be. She could be. What is it? What does Jenny McCarthy say that you get autism from vaccines injections? Yeah, he gave himself his own vaccines just to get the hell away from that. He's like, he's like, I need to blood out the pain. Get me something for Ebola. The autism. Oh, by the way, everybody that's listening to this podcast right now, my name is Matt and I am not the evil one anymore. I actually was getting a little misty eyed watching that segment because I actually think that Jacqueline is the best mom of them all. Oh, she's terrible, mom. He's terrible. She's your best to be on TV. She's so gross. Kathy is the best. Kathy is the best mom out of all of them by far. Why didn't they feature her hot son in this episode? I like that scene of her shopping with her daughter. I mean, they're both horrible people, but they're, you know, it's like you can, you can see lions being good moms and then watching them rip deer apart. It doesn't mean I think Teresa's actually, no, I think Teresa's a bad parent, but I think she's when she goes, when she goes shopping with Gia, there are some like sweet moments where she's like, you can sort of see. No, it's not sweet because she's one of those people who goes up to a guy like in the store, like she goes up to like the gay cashier at the store with Gia and she goes, who's the mother? Who's the daughter? Come on, no, tell me. Oh, no, I hate that. Who's the mother? Who's the daughter? And then it flashes to Princess's Long Island with Amanda and her mother going, who's the mother? Who's the daughter? Oh, my, is that, is that our official segue? Oh, my God. Yeah, I was going to get real sick. I'm ready. If we're going there, I wasn't trying to segue it, but I'll be done with Jersey. What else happened on Jersey? I think that's it. Right. Most of it's like, they looked at their houses all the Android. Yeah. You guys, I don't think I've ever laughed at her, like her name. God, this was so funny. Listen, Sandy did a great job redecorating those houses. They looked 10 times better. I was like, oh, wow, that couch is overturning. There's like, there's, there's a flood damage. This looks way better than the interior design before. Oh, my God, Teresa, like, what, what is, where's all this stuff come from? What is this stuff? Who put this here? How's it get in? Yeah. I would be shocked if they didn't have Martin Lawrence Balard in a crossover episode, go and redesign it and then have Chef Robley there to preside over a backyard barbecue once the house is redone. Well, they actually just did that on kitchen cousins, the kitchen cousins who are probably sleeping together, hopefully, and are both so fucking cute. They even had a shot of them together. As Sun said, it was so cute. Are they better? Are they hotter or less hot than the property brothers? The brothers are not hot. I think they're like, no, I don't mind Canadians. I like them. I think that they're nicer people than Americans in general, but I think the property brothers are both homely, but they have like that twin hotness where there's two of them. So everyone's like, Oh, my God, there's two of them. There must be hot, but in real. So you can like fantasize about being spit roasted between them? No, I think they're totally. Now the kitchen, now the kitchen cousins. Now there's a couple. Yeah, they are. They are hot. And honestly, you can't have a name like that kitchen cousins, which is a plan kissing cousins and not get us arrest. Yeah, exactly. And they're put. I mean, they're just both so gay and hot. I love them both. But anyway, they had a kitchen cousins that was like sponsored by Ellen, where Ellen had them on the show and she had them go to Hurricane Sandy, whatever to fix someone's home. And they did a really nice job on this home. But all I kept thinking was, okay, everyone else's house is completely demolished. And this is the only couple on the street with a nice home, like way to make the first responders seem hateful. Like now everybody hates them. They were heroes, but now everybody resent them. Thanks, kitchen cousins. Let's make out. Yeah, I got the kitchen cousins in my head. I love you so much. You're in my heart. I love you so much. So are we ready to take the plunge into Long Island? Yes, please. So, okay, if you guys are willing to admit that it's the best show ever. Oh my God. Oh my God. It was amazing. Are you serious right now? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Let me say something Bravo has now cornered the market on suburbia. They have Real House House of New Jersey, OC, now they have Long Island and they have Atlanta, which for what we can tell is pretty much suburbia also. So this is the upcoming Gia. So see where it's in junior high. Not a very creative title, but it gets the point across. Exactly. I would watch that in a heartbeat. Yeah, I actually would. So yeah, so Princesses Long Island, I actually did not watch it on premiere night because I turned it on and I was like, Oh God, I can't I can't deal it out. They're all so dewy. And so I turned it off. And then I came back today and watched it during lunch. And it was it was actually pretty hilarious. Yeah, it's pretty hilarious. So let me tell you, as a Jew, as a Jew who has relatives in from Long Island, I can say, yes, I'm embarrassed for my people right now. And I'll give the the typical thing that I do not believe that this is representative of our people. But however, it is representative of Long Island, for sure. I'm sorry. It is. So if this is just because I'm Lebanese, and that's like the like the brown people racism inside of me kicking in. But the first thing I thought when I saw the show was, Oh my God, they all look alike. Do they not? They look they look similar. Well, I mean, I don't even know where to start with the show. This show was such I mean, there are so many gems in this one episode. First, the accents alone, they cast the girls with the most heinous Long Island accents that I've ever heard. I mean, I always think about you, Ronnie, whenever we mentioned Real Housewives of New York, you always get really mad and you get you start talking about how all the accents and how when you're a waiter in New York, people would be really pushy and that you hated that accent. This show was like, it was so potent, these accents. I could barely even think straight. Look, I'm no stranger to drama, obviously. I live for it. 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Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required restrictions apply. Those girls are just the girls that are like they're the first girls who ever made me want to commit murder. Like do you guys watch that show Bates Motel that's been on TV? No, it's really pointless and it's not really even about him at all. And I'm like, well, why did he become a serial killer? Is anybody can explain why he became a serial killer? I think that they should have made this the reason why he became a serial killer. So these dumb bitches because that like that little fat midget girl who thinks she's so hot and is in love with her father in the beauty parlor making people carrying her around because I will not walk without heels. Could you carry me? Oh my god the Asian guy carried me to the car. I got that one because I can't buy you. I got that one because I'm a princess. Listen, bitch, you are never going to get married. You ain't never going to get laid. You are a horrible, horrible little Betty Rubble. Oh, Barney Rubble bodied little midget. Did you all not think that they were all? I mean, they're all between 26. They look like they were 40. They all look no, please. They all look 55 to 65, especially the little one. The little one is that's Ashley? That's Ashley. Ashley, Ashley, yes. Well, I mean, she she really she I can't believe that she was 28 or no, she's 29 going 30. Let's let's quickly rank them in how much we who do we hate the most? Let me give you any names. Yeah. Okay, I'll tell you who they are. Barney Rubble, who's the worst one? The little midget, the little bad. She's the worst. Ash is the worst. Ash is the worst. I think that Amanda is pretty terrible. She's the trashy one with the older boyfriend that is really gross. Wait, she's the blonde girl with the creepy mom? Yes. Yeah. She's she's pretty bad. She's actually not the worst, but she's pretty bad. Actually, you know what? I'm ranking her higher. She made a few jokes that made me laugh. So I'm I'm okay with that. Mom, those terrible. Yeah, she seems nice, but she's just like all these girls are just so desperate for a man. It's like you're that. How come all the girls have to be at least semi cute and the guys are so gross. Well, I thought that the the meatheads from the South Shore were actually really hot. What are you talking about? Yeah, they're like crazy. Yeah, I mean, the husband, so once that they're in love with their all slubby little men, she grossed. Oh, I know. Like, I guess what, Ronnie, I'm sorry, but those like slubby little mentions are the only ones that are going to put up with Ashley. Do you think like a hot train a hot trainer from the South Shore is not going to deal with that? No, yeah, I know. I think the the best one of the girls was the poor girl. Joey. Is that her name? Joey. Actually, I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on a limb and say she's beautiful. Yeah, she's pretty. I mean, she's got her long island styling going on, which is a problem. But she's the prettiest of them all. She seems the nicest. She seems the most tolerable. She was the best by far. She reminds me of Joey pot. She reminds me of Joey Potter from Dawson's Creek. And if you just strip away all the BS, she's just a nice girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Well, she's already bragging about how South Shore girls are badass bitches. So I sense that she's going to be trouble in the future. And I cannot wait because these bitches need it. Now, one thing that I loved was this girl Erica. She's the one who threw the party. She's the one excuse me. Please refer to her as the alcoholic. The alcoholic. What I loved is that when we're being introduced to her by Chanel and she knows like back in high school, Erica was like the most popular hottest girl in the world. And you look at her. And she looks like a reject from the Lord of the Rings. There's no way she's a hot girl and great neck. She looks like every Jewish girl that I went to school with in middle school and high school. And then every Jewish girl I went to school with in Syracuse, a college in Syracuse. They all I mean, I'm sorry. Everybody looks exactly the same. Let's all straighten our hair. A few of us will die up blonde like Chanel. A few of us will keep our natural look like like Erica will all wear a puffy coat from North Face will all wear ugly leggings and or jaggings with an ug boot. And even though it's 40 below zero outside, we're still going to go get our nails did and our BMW that daddy bought us every every single one of them. Oh, she Erica. I mean, she doesn't seem that bad as of right now, but I just I couldn't believe that this was supposed to be like the hottest one. And then you have poor Chanel who by the way, what sort of modern Orthodox Jewish family names her daughter Chanel that doesn't I don't seem to remember Chanel that name coming from the Old Testament or anything. It's like Rachel and Shoshana and you know, how amazing was it when they were sitting around that dinner table? And I just love that her 24 year old younger sister is getting married and it's killing her. I love that it's killing her. I know. And by the way, is this a Jewish thing? Ben, I'm gonna ask you because you're our category expert here. What is and by the way, I think this is horribly tacky. And I don't know any anybody that does this in their house, you should just be embarrassed because it's gross. When you sit down at the dinner table, nobody should put a two liter bottle of soda on the dinner table and or a jug of orange juice. You get up and you refill your drink if you need to do it. Do not put it on the dining room table. I don't think that's I don't think that's a Jewish thing. It's like, oh, the Torah says, when you drink the soda, you put it, you put it on the table. You must see it in all times to make sure it's ghost that nobody touched it before you drink. What is that? Back in the shuttle. We put we put the drink on the table for everyone to have some. I don't know. I just think it's tacky. It goes up there with my craziness with the balling of the socks. It just bites the shit out. Listen, I think it's more just Long Island. Okay, that's just who drinks who drinks orange juice with a spaghetti dinner. But that's you know, strange things happen in the north shore. Strange things happen in Great Neck. I don't know. My brain is exploding. I don't even know which one to talk about next. Should we talk about Jeff Amanda's older boyfriend the 38? Well, wait, we did really bad at ranking them. Oh, yeah. So wait, so where were they? So the model is Barney Rubble. Barney Rubble is the worst with her father who she's clearly having an affair with. Yeah. Oh, my God. Okay, how creepy is that? Like it's I love that the camera people were being so creepy too. And she's like, Can you imagine finding a father like my dad? Because they're not out there. I mean, I want to match just like my father. And then the camera's like closing up on his hairy legs and like slowly moving up like pornographic to his to his like inappropriate gene cutoffs. The dad was wearing Daisy Dukes. And by the way, the dad is gayer than Liberace. Oh my goodness. He was like a really gay version of James Lipton. I love by the way, when James Lipton's pimp pimp pimping face. I love that story that came out last week. Did you watch my James Lipton video, Matt? I know that you don't like me posting them on our site, but it was very funny. You should watch it. I'm just going to start posting anything I do for work that is not related to television on that. That was James. That was about James Lipton, which is on Bravo. And then the other stuff was housewives. So screw you. And you should probably watch that video because it's really funny. I only watch starring myself and that are on Vine. How about when Ashley went to the South Shore and she got lost and went up in the quote unquote ghetto, aka a neighborhood where there was like one couch and like in a driveway. Okay, I hate I hate her, but I could not agree with her more. She had to call her dad. She's like, Dad, I'm uncomfortable. I don't know, I've never been over here. It's a strafe port. It's really gross. And he's like, honey, it sounds like Atlantic City. She's like, oh, gross. Just be smart. Just be smart. And then and then I let me go. And this is always the funniest. This is so if I lock your doors. Yeah, are you sure your door's locked? And then once she gets out to hug her stupid poor friend, I was really hoping that they would just both get shot by stray bullets. For me, while Joey lived in a perfectly nice, like, you know, condo unit or whatever it was, but it was she, honestly, we live here in LA and we see what the real ghettos are like. And I'm sorry. But you know, wherever that was in the South Shore of Long Island, it does not compare. Yeah, it's no Inglewood where, you know, you can get all sorts of excitement in the Costco parking lot. Yeah, no kidding. It's not even close to fucking little Armenia where I used to live. Yeah. They're complaining to me a little duress. I know. Stupid duress. So then we have, okay, so we have Amanda who has a disgusting cougar mother. I think that the, I think that that lady that became famous last year for putting her children in tanning beds tanning mom is her mother. Yeah, I think that. Trisha Crensel, if there were any straight men who happen to be watching Bravo, their penises just like curled up and into themselves at the side of that woman, and then they just became gay because there's no way you could ever, ever be attracted to a woman again after see that lady. That lady was pretty nasty, but I don't know because straight guys, I think it's very different being a straight guy. I mean, those homely guys are getting laid left and right and the things they seem to be turned on by, I mean, they don't seem to mind either. Yesterday I was at Subway and there was this hot muscular guy with this like, slubby girl and her jogging pants and broken flip flops and like, I smelled her, she smelled funny, she was all chunky and varicose and veiny and guys don't care. It's like, if they can stick it on somewhere, they'll stick it in. Gay guys are the ones you got to worry about. Yeah, I guess so. Well, let me tell you something. She, when she was trying on those bathing suits with her daughter, this plunging necklines and tan leathery skin and orbs of weird silicone on her chest. Did there, I'm sorry to do there. I'm sorry, but like Amanda, she's a thin like, you know, trim lady, but did her ab section look really weird or was it she just like so fake baked that it was like warping her stuff? It's like when you leave a chicken on the counter and it starts separating from the bone. That's what it looks like. Like, I mean, look, after a certain age, you just can't do anything about it. Just stop wearing bathing suits with cutouts in them. I mean, stop it and I really mean, stop it, please stop it. And by the way, I think we should note that Amanda's mom's name is Babs, which is amazing. That is amazing. Babs. Yeah, I wonder why she's a single mom. I'm kidding. What about she was too stupid to figure out how to use the hanger? So you guys, what about the stupid, obviously gay boyfriend who's so slow. It's like a cross between Adam Levine and Kramer. Kramer, yes. Kramer, it's like, he's so close to being hot. Like, he could have been Adam Levine, but poor thing, he just got too much of the Kramer sperm. I just, everything, he was just so gross and annoying. Like, oh, you guys look hot. You guys look hot trying on your bathing suits. Oh, okay, let's turn around. Turn around. Oh, wow. Go get one with string. Let's go get one with string on the strings. Oh, that turns me on so much. Amanda. Oh my God. To see what you look like in that. Oh, when you two Babs, you're all Babs, Babs. Oh, you're looking hot Babs. Oh, I can't wait for you to cook me dinner in that babe. Gross. But then the full glory of his game has happened at the pool party, which took up the last 15 or 20 minutes of the show, which is that Erica had a pool party at her cousin's mansion on the North Shore. And so she invited a bunch of people and then Joey invited some people from the South Shore, including some girl named Sarah and Sarah was who wore a very classy, fringed bando bikini top. What did you notice? It's the one that the girl she got in a fight with was trying on. Yeah, girl. Yeah, Amanda was trying on the purple one. She looks like a car wash. It's like she could have shimmied and like cleaned a Ford Fiesta. That is my favorite part of the car wash, by the way, when that fringe thing comes down and it goes, it's slapping you and it's like that slap. That's probably what it sounds like when you have sex with Sarah. Also, there's a bunch of thumps. A lot of like a loud slaps. Are you serious right now? Oh my God, I can't even deal. Are you serious? Slap, slap you me. Just a sound of her breasts flopping around. Wow. Wow. Wow. Are you serious? That's good. That's really good. So I love the plot line of these shows. Bravo is just like, look, here's the only thing that works. Get a bunch of homely women. I don't care what I don't even care anymore what age they are. Just get only women who could never get laid. Put them in front of a camera and every week, they have to go to a different useless party. Okay, that's it. That's all we need to do. Higher fucking network. I love it because this is the exact same thing. It's like, let's talk about how vapid we are for 45 minutes and in the last 15 minutes, let's get in a fight at a stupid party. Yeah, because this so in this case for people who didn't watch, when I was this girl Sarah who's not part of the cast, she goes up to Jeff and Amanda and she's like, oh, we're Facebook friends. And he's like, oh, okay, cool. And then Sarah goes off and tells someone else. I think she tells Erica. I don't remember. Maybe it was Chanel. She tells Ashley and then she's like, that guy, he like, he like stalks me. He stalks me all the time. He like would not stop stalking me on Facebook. And then from there, just escalated in the stupidest way possible, which is that she went up and she's like, listen, I'm sorry. I have to say something. We actually do know each other. Like he messages me from time to time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And then he's like, hey, why don't you take a stroll? Take a stroll. Take a stroll, honey. I love that he is like a cop in West Side Story. Ronnie, Ronnie, you be Ronnie, you be him. I'll be Sarah. Okay. You start. Yes. Yes. Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you timing to take a stroll? Yeah, take a stroll, honey. Take a stroll. Oh my God. He is crazy. He is. Oh my God. He is so crazy. This one's so crazy. Hey, nothing to see here, kids. Move on. Amanda, I'm not even, I have nothing to say to you, Amanda. I'm not trying to be mean, but he's crazy. Take a stroll. Oh, really? Take a stroll. Are you serious? Are you serious right now? Oh my God. Oh my God. I don't even know what's going on right now. Oh my God. You're crazy. That girl's version of fighting. She just kept walking up over and over again and going with friends on Facebook. Well, it was like, it was like a dialogue with, it was like a dialogue with Plato, it was all questions. Everything was like, are you serious right now? Honey, are you going to talk to me right now? Are you serious? Honey, are you going to walk away from my girlfriend? Are you serious? Are you serious? Really? He went into that SNL thing where he just went, really? Really? Really? Really? Like, if this were Atlanta, there would have been like, hair pulled. But because this is like Jewish girls in Long Island, all they do is they put up a hand and go, are you serious? Oh my God. Are you for real right now? Because on Bravo, when there's one drink thrown, now every show has to have someone getting a drink thrown in their fucking face and getting punched. But she didn't even like, she didn't even like into a fight of that. Like Amanda threw a drink in her face and she's like, seriously? Oh my God. Serious, serious drink at me? And she's like, you will win anyway, which is a good point. Yeah, that was amazing. The best is though, Sarah then uses the F word. She calls, she calls you, she's like, you're a faggot. And so then, then like 10 minutes later, 15 minutes later, all of a sudden Ashley pipes up and goes, you don't use that word. I'm sorry, you don't use that word. And they're all like, yeah, you don't use that word. You don't, Sarah, because you know why? Because they don't want anyone to think that guy's gay. Because that's like the first thing you could call somebody. Oh my gosh. Her dad called a million times and she gets very offended. Well, and also, I love the part where the fight's going on. It's like fully going on and Ashley goes, you know, I just don't like this because I've had my feelings hurt before. And I just don't like seeing. She starts like, you see, by the way, did you see when she did that, she started to do that, she started to cry in front of that hot dude from the South Shore because she thought that by fake crying, she was going to get a hug from those muscles, which she has never gotten before. And he was like, peace out. She was like, she's being earned waiting for the lollipop after he used the urinal, you know? Yeah, that girl is horrible. And I love in the previews for the upcoming season, how they just show her going on herself. Oh, why? Why did somebody not capture that on their phone? Because the dramatic pause between mom and help was the best dramatic pause in television history. And then followed only by Shabbat Shalom. Now go fuck yourself. We need to get together and make some Vine videos as the princesses of Long Island. Oh, I'm totally down for that. Are you serious, Matt? Are you serious right now? Sarah has. I like, I read a review of the show. I think it was on Slate and they called out Chanel and they were like, for some reason, Chanel adopts a Borsch Bells voice for that doesn't seem to match anything around her. And it's like, if you think about it, she does. She walking through room and she's like, hello, Shabbat Shalom. I'm here. Okay, I have to ask you guys this. So in the past 12 months, we fell in love with gallery girls, which obviously is not returning for a second season. Then we fell for Vanderpump rules followed by married to medicine. Yeah, reluctantly, then married to medicine. There too. Shaz, we've already had two seasons. I'm talking about freshmen series from the past 12 months. If you're on track with what I'm trying to say here. I think Shaz was in the past 12 months, but go on. Well, actually, we've already had two seasons, so I'm not counting that one. So I'm talking about freshmen series. Are you serious? I am serious. I'm serious right now. Oh my God. I can't even believe. Go on. What's your point? That Bravo's on a roll. Oh, that wasn't my point, but okay. No, no, what is your point? No, it doesn't. It really, it really does not matter. No, I want to know. Here we go. No, I'm done. Oh, no. I'm good. I'm a person article. I wrote on the Facebook page just to spite you. Matt, go ahead. Come on, Matt. Say it. Oh, Matt. Come on, Matt. Please. Please. You love me, Matt. I don't want. I don't want. I was going to ask you a question, but I don't care what your opinion is anymore. So it's doesn't matter. Oh, my, you're serious right now. Take a stroll. Take a stroll. Oh, my old testament, God. Oh my God. You're being so South Shore. This. So if I could finish your question for you, possibly properly, we've liked a lot of things that have been terrible and have gotten canceled like gallery girls. Do you think this is going to suffer the same fate? Are people liking this show? Do they? Are they watching it? Because I really think I watched it because of, you know, because of us, you guys, because I love us. But ratings were halfway decent, but they fell off more than 50% from its lead in, which was Jersey. So that's not boating. Well, for like, Jersey is huge, obviously, it's not too just Atlanta, but it had like almost 3 million viewers, but then following it, Princess has only scored 1.2 million, which is good enough to keep it on the air on Bravo. But I feel like we've coaxed a lot of our listeners into listening to our watching shit that they hate, such as Vanderpump Rules. But I'm sticking with this is the point. Absolutely. You know, I think also that there's a difference between this and, for instance, marriage medicine. You know, marriage medicine focuses predominantly on like outrageous black women, and this focuses on spoiled Jewish girls. And while there is some sort of like, masochistic urge to watch this thing, or maybe it's sadistic, I don't know. But I feel like in pop culture, people have sort of a joy, like, they sort of enjoy sort of like ghetto black women, you know, that people like to use the phrases and everything, and there's something sort of like sassy and ridiculous. But I don't think people enjoy watching spoiled rich Jewish girls. I think it actually makes them mad. Yeah, well, let's hope so. I mean, it made me mad, but it also made me feel sad for them. I mean, they live in a home still. This is crazy. They're just so gross. And like, I don't know, I just know so many, so many of those girls, and they have everything. And at the end of the day, even the ones that do find someone to marry them, they only married them because they have to do that. It's almost like living in the days back where there's a ranged marriage, you know, and they're like, Oh my God, we got to get married. Oh, and they hate each other. And they live in really gorgeous homes, but they just hate each other. And then they take it out on the maid and the catering staff, and their kids are horrible. And they don't understand that they're not cute. What's up with all these Jews houses that all look like they're stuck in 1986? I know. That was a good time for the Jews, the 80s. That was a good time for Long Island. Did Reagan like really help the Jews? Of course. Reagan was very good for rich people and property taxes and just in general, like really. Well, if they were rich enough, they could redecorate if they're rich, but all of those houses are stuck in 1986. Well, you know, what I love is Erica's pool area that looks like it's a public pool at the local park. Have you noticed that there's like chain link fences everywhere, just like bad landscaping? I really thought that there were like a community pool. Well, oh, I forgot what I was going to say, but I did it with such confidence, right? You did. I will say this. I had actually never known that it was a thing that girls, Jewish girls on Long Island, stayed in their parents' home until they were married. I had actually never heard that before, but I believe it. I believe it. Maybe I should get my cousin. My cousins come on. Maybe my cousin Perry or cousin Melissa or cousin Rachel. Oh, goodness gracious. They all, by the way, have moved out and they are not living with their parents. Actually, the Lebanese boys are the ones in our family who live with their parents and never get married. Oh, except for me. But that wasn't really an option for me. I just need love. Speaking of marriage, should we talk about bachelorette parties in Mexico? Oh, yes. Okay. Dear Mexicans, I'm so sorry that one white person on this show can say "andalei." I'm sorry. So the conduct- We know it's not "andalei." Come on. So we're talking about Real Housewives of Orange County, where the two big things happened. One was that Alexis and Tamara sort of brokered a stupid truce. And the other thing was that Tamara had a bachelorette party down in Pareta Vallarta, which is next to the city of Guatemala. That's for Alexis. But what happened? Oh, yeah. So Heather and Gretchen organized this trip. And as a result, it was super lame and super boring. I wish it was filmed in real time, so I could have called one of the cartels and told them that Tamara had some Coke, but this episode could have used some beheadings. Yeah. It could have. I loved that like every two seconds that Vicki kept on saying, like, we're gonna go to "andalei." We're gonna go to "andalei." To me, I don't know what "andalei" is, but it sounds to me. "Andalei." That means like, let's go. Come on. Let's go. No, no, no, no. No, I know what the word means. I don't know what the bar is, but it sounds like something that you might have found at Epcot Center. I think it's the most fitting bar for this episode. Let's go, please. And also, you know, with Nini, we'd mentioned a few weeks ago that Nini was on Watch What Happens All Alone for the hour-long masturbation fest all over Andy's face. And she was giving her opinions on all the different cast. And she said, "You know, the only one that I really don't like is Orange County. You need to recast that show." And I'm gonna say, like, while I like a lot of the Orange County women, you know, that whole dinner was just proving her point. I mean, they have nothing to say. Even the camera guys couldn't cut it together. They were focusing on a goat cheese salad for Christ's sake. But did you not think that was hilarious? The fact that, you know, again, in the opening montage of the show, the opening credits, Heather is saying, like, "Well, you think blondes have more fun. You haven't met me yet." And then we get to the dinner and crickets are chirping because it is the most boring, painfully boring dinner ever. I mean, for Christ's sake, I know that Tamara is getting married for the third time, but it is a bachelorette party. That is not how you celebrate a bachelorette party. Heather has such a stick up her ass. She cannot have fun. I totally agree. Obviously, you'll see the exact same thing. And I also love that Lydia ordered some chips and salsa at like a fine dining restaurant. And then the food, and then they're ordering food. And then Gretchen is like, "I can't eat this because it's shrimp and islands got sick off the shrimp and Mexico." And I'm afraid it's shrimp in this place because one time I had a shrimp and it made me sick. I don't like water. Do you have bottled water? Do you have a busboy that's not Mexican? Because I hear Mexicans can steal from you sometimes. It's dangerous here. Why does she order the shrimp if she wasn't going to eat it? Oh, are you kidding? She didn't order the shrimp. I'm sure that when you go to a restaurant with Heather, she orders all of the meals for you. She probably orders Terry's dinner for him as well. And Tam wrote it. She's that much of a control for her. She probably choose Terry's dinner up for him and then puts it in his mouth. Yeah, and then spits it in his mouth like a little baby bird. Yeah, she's like a mama bird and then she keeps pushing him off the chair and tells him to fly. This was painful. And what was it? Why did Vicki have some point said like, "You're going to feel my furry or something like that?" No, I think that was Gretchen. Oh, Gretchen. You're right. It was Gretchen. It was Gretchen said, "Oh, yeah." Gretchen was on fucking fire this week. Oh, that was the other thing because Lori, we had a moment with Lori and Gretchen in the beginning. It was the best thing. I love that they have they have written Lori wearing slash Peterson a check to come onto the show for 10 minutes per episode. You just talk shit about either Tamara and or Vicki. Oh, my God. And she does it. And like no one's cross-checking her. She's like, "Yeah, you know, I want, you know, Vicki stuck with like five guys once a week and had sex." Cut off. Cut off. Well, what I was going to say is that I love that Lori comes on and spreads really like incendiary rumors about Vicki. You know, she's like, "Oh, I saw her bed with a woman." If you saw Vicki at that dinner table wearing a dirty white tank top chugging down jugs of red wine, you can tell that she clearly was going to go back to the hotel with the women, but then escape down the fire shoot or whatever later that night and go to on delay and bang some dudes. That was clearly how Vicki rolls in Mexico. Well, Vicki doesn't really hide it. I mean, this is what's been interesting. There have been rumors for a year that Vicki and Don were swingers. Then Don got caught in that Swinger's club, which led Credence or Gabe Credence. What do you think happens at Lake Havasu when you go home? And then there was that trip that she went on with Tamara was just her and Tamara when they went to Cabo and they got wasted. And then at the reunion when they got in a fight, Tamara was like, "Oh, really, Vicki? Do you want me to tell everybody what you did in Cabo?" And she's like, "Oh, Tamara, that's law. That is law, Tamara." So you know she bangs some dudes in Cabo. At the very least, she probably pleasures herself with a rainbow-colored dildo lollipop. Yeah, could you guys? I loved it. I loved all the insinuations of Eddie's gay. I mean, those are clearly gay pride lollipops. It's like, enjoy your big gay cock for the rest of your life or for the rest of your 40s. Yeah, however long that lasts. And then I love when when when Lydia was asking Tamara questions about Eddie and she was like, "What's our, I think Vicki then chimes in." And she goes, "Oh, well, what's his favorite sexual position?" And then Tamara didn't have an answer because she knows that he just likes to get fucked by his bicycle seat. Yeah, you can't say double dildo on Bravo still. Yeah, that's the one thing that they'll bleep out. Which is funny because it's basically Andy Cohen's social life. So what's your favorite position, Slade? What else happened? So then they left Heather and Gretchen in the limo at the end, which was just good because they would have been the lamest people at Underlay. Well, why did they do that? What was that about? Because Vicki was being a bitch. Oh, so they did it on purpose? I think I missed that part. I thought they just like ended up having some drinks after all. It's just walk over here. They ran away from the boring people. So Vicki pulled them away and no one really protested. And then Vicki was like, "No, no, they'll find us. They'll find us. Don't you worry. No, no, they'll find us." And they just sat in the limo and then complained and cried. Yeah. Well, I mean, could you imagine being stuck with Gretchen or, on the other hand, could you imagine getting stuck with Heather? Heather would be more of the issue. I think Gretchen would be fine, but Heather would be furious. She'd probably be sitting there in Underlay asking for who knows what champs. She's like, "Do you have any vintage 1987 Chateau Margot here at Underlay?" No. She's like, "I don't know if you get American television here, but there's an actress called Valerie Brittanylli. I know her now. I'm sorry. My episode of Hot and Cleveland is airing. Do you have that here at Underlay? Do you have a satellite here at Underlay with On Demand?" She's like, "Are they actually serving onion rings here at Underlay? I can't stay." So what else happened? Okay. So there was the Bachelorette Party, which is terrible and boring. Okay. So the Lori stuff about Vicki being a slut. So I guess that's really it, except that Lori is just basically coming on saying that Vicki's a total swinger whore and that she's always with multiple people at one time. And what else happened on this show? Well, Alexis and Tamara, they resolve things because Tamara realized that she is an evil woman and wanted to go through the motions of pretending to forgive her, which was bullshit. Yeah, that was stupid. Alexis, yeah, poor Alexis. And she's like, "I really believe that she's sorry." Oh, honey. She's been balanced around on the trampoline a little bit too much. She thought she was talking to Frosty the Snowman, to be honest. What else happened? That's pretty much it, right? I think so, because they went to Mexico. They made a custom bikini. I think that's basically it. It's kind of stupid. I'm looking over our Facebook page to see if there's anything we missed. Okay. There is a new housewife that I have not looked at her yet, the housewife for Beverly Hills. I haven't looked at her yet. Matt, somebody named Gregory, is asking for before and after pictures of your weight loss so that you can inspire them. So you might want to answer that. That would be nice. I'm not going to. Why? Well, I mean, when does he want me when I was anorexic in 2003 and 2004, when I got fat after my arm surgery, when I'm trying to get anorexic now? What year are we talking? All of those things, you need to show yourself like a human. What is it that goes in and out, up and down? A accordion? Is that what I'm trying to say? I don't know what you're trying to say. I don't either, but it sounded of a sexual nature. You need to show yourself ballooning up and down, because that inspires people, because that's how most of us are. But you stayed down this time, like you ballooned, and then you stayed down. You stayed out of my sick. I stay down, girl. I stay down. You stay down, girl. You are very inspirational. I would like to see the befores and afters as well. So does anyone remember anything from the marriage medicine reunion? Miss Lucy came on. I remember that it was amazing. I just didn't take any notes, and of course, I've forgotten everything. I think Toya defended her pronunciation of Czar, and she said, "Well, I call it Czar, and you can call it Czar or Czar, either way, and I choose Czar." But no, you can't call it Czar. You have to do that. We also had a moment of saying, "I don't talk like that. That is how I talk. I'm a classy person. I'm a motherfucking classy." How stupid are you? I'm actually sad that I don't remember anything from the reunion, because it was fantastic, the second part. It was just as good as the first. The funny thing is, Mariah, who's an executive producer of the show, she is claiming that she is going to get Carrie and Toya fired, but I'm like, just because you have a small hit on Bravo, you don't call the shots like that, bitch, because Andy Cohen needs you to have people to fight with, and if he wants Toya and Carrie back, they will be coming back. They will be back. They will be back. You can't get rid of Toya and Carrie. They're the stars of the show. I agree. Yeah, and you can't just be casting people that are going to kiss Mariah's stink ass. Yeah, once you sell your soul to Bravo, they own you. They can fire stupid Mariah if they want to. What's she going to do? I'm trying to remember, I don't Carrie said some ridiculous things, but yeah, I remember them. I'm really glad that shows over. No, I loved it. I love Mariah to Madison. Too much rain, too much. Glad it's over. Although, I wish they had spent more time with Miss Lucy, because that was hilarious. Oh my gosh. Oh, she's disgusting. She is, she is a cold-ass ghetto mama. She really is. She's a disgusting woman. I love it. And you know the sister, Mariah's sister is extremely beautiful, but looks just like the mother, and you just see where it's going, you know? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I'm racking my brain, racking my brain for memories, but it's not there. I'm looking forward to season two. I'm looking over Facebook. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. We do a lot of prep on this show. We're really organized. Oh, the uh, the Edward Mitchum posted Tamara. Where do I put this thing? Large still though. Vicki, you put it in Eddie's butt. Oh, Larry. Wait, you know, they all know. I think that Tamara and Vicki really do know way too much about each other, and I don't think that Vicki would just, you know, that slipped out because she probably knows more than, you know, Tamara would like us to believe. Yeah. Or she's just teasing Tamara because she knows everybody thinks Eddie's gay. You never know. There's so many levels to these shows. This was so funny. Like, they get together with each other and they act, you know, they act one way, but we just know all the back stories going on after all these years. Everything has like double meanings on such a shallow show. I love it. Okay, so Matthew, I believe that you were the only one this week to watch newlyweds. Please, please do tell us, do tell. What happened? I don't, I don't really know their names except the fat blond lady that's pregnant with the schlubby husband got extra fat. And now he's starting to say things like, Oh, well, you know, I'm not used to banging fat girls. And I'm like, but you're a fat dude and you're ugly and you're lucky to even have a fat wife. He just not. And then they sat around in general. That is true. Yeah, but I think he's got that syndrome because he has that picture in his home gym or whatever where he used to be hot. And he actually kind of did used to be hot. Have you seen that picture of him? He was all like muscular and good looking. And I think that that stole the hand that he has in his head. And he just doesn't know what happened. I think that he's one of those like, he's one of those guys that lives like an Italian bride and just puts things all over the mirror so he can't see himself or an Italian widow. I mean, yeah, he's gross. Okay, then the the gay twink complained that he was not getting enough. And I want to quote that I don't have the exact quote, but he said something about there is enough. There's not there hasn't been enough pee pee in the booty in the past two weeks. And he's very upset because he's not getting enough pee pee in the booty. Well, I did see the first that was the first scene, I think, right? Because I saw that I saw the first scene of him going, honey, I need more sex. I need more sex. I mean, you've got this hot guy who's 16 years younger than you who wants it all the time. I just don't understand it. Okay, you married someone 16 years older than you. Their penis does not work the same way. You know, it gets my penis hard, tin roof Sunday. That's pretty much it at this point. You need to bring over it? Yes, you need to bring over some ice cream and put it on my lap and just wait and hope something good happens. Yeah, we date an old man and then wondering why he's not fucking you 10 times a day. That's not what we do. We start looking for different things in life like people with jobs. Get a job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god, Matt. I don't even know what to say. I'm going to slap you. Get it together. Get it together. What else? What about Asia and, I mean, Alaska and Kim? Was he still being a dick about everything? Oh, yeah. But then he came home like they were living in separate cities and then he came home and then she made him dinner naked with an apron on and then they then he says that they had sex like Jackrabbits even though I'm convinced that he's gay. Well, Jackrabbits having sex. I mean, I don't know why people say that. If you ever had seen Jackrabbits having sex, it's not very cute. No, I don't think it's cute. It's very violent and very fast. I would say it's a rapid experience. We had fast and violent sex. All the girls on this show are very, very lucky. Yeah. Yeah. How is Tarsu and Bollywood? He should dump Bollywood because Bollywood's dad is an asshole and keeps saying things like, oh, get a real job. And he goes, I'm making six figures and taking care of your daughter and that's not good enough. And I don't know. I just feel like the daughter needs to put the dad in his place. She loves it. She pisses him off on purpose so they can fight over her. She's a sad girl with the worst issues, daddy issues, the worst kind of issues. And she lives in Riverside. I don't care. I don't care why. With pictures of her dead mom, I mean, painted on the walls. That's not cute, you guys. Don't do that. It's creepy. Yeah. I mean, respect your mom in the cemetery while you watch a movie on the big screen like Clueless, like in the Hollywood cemetery. Is that your go to Clueless? Whenever you're feeling low, watch Clueless. No, they were just playing that in the cemetery a couple of weeks ago. And I was sad that I wasn't one of the dead people, so I couldn't watch Clueless in the cemetery. Ah, my God. So what else? What else on Bravo? I think I think we've reached the end of our. I feel like we've thoroughly pissed Matt. No, Matt's not Matt. You're not mad, are you? I'm not mad at Ronnie. What did I do? What did I do? I won again. Is this because I interrupted before when you were make talking about the first freshman seasons? No, I'm actually trying to do some work right now because I have a deadline. Oh, my God. He just blames me for everything, all the deadlines in his life. Okay, so let's go. Okay, bye. All right. Bye, everyone. Bye. Thanks for listening. You can bend you do this. I'm not prepared. All right. Matt is at life on the M list on Twitter and on Instagram and on Vine. I'm at beside blog on Twitter and on Instagram, but I'm Ben Mandelker on Vine and Ronnie is Ronnie Karam on Vine and Instagram, but he's on Twitter. I'm also Ronnie Karam. Oh, you're not at TV guys anymore? I am, but I'm also at Ronnie Karam. Well, choose one because I can't be linking to both with 140 characters. I'm gonna. Oh, no, we don't have to link to both. I was just saying I got a new Twitter account for Ronnie Karam. I haven't put anything on there yet. I just figured it would be easier to be like Matt and have like one name across all of my things. One name to rule them all. Oh my God. Are you serious right now? Are you seriously having so many names on social media? You guys, could you pick a longer name for Twitter? I hate using my whole name because it's so long, but it can't be worse in life on the M list. That is the longest name to type into Twitter. Um, you should have me bookmarked now. So it automatically pops up when you type L.I. It does. Of course, honey. Oh, I'm glad this ended on such a romantic no. I know. Well, we're clearly almost our energy being beaten up. There's nothing new. Oh, man. I'm pretending that you're right here and I'm patting your head. It makes me feel better. I'm patting your little bottom. Little bony bottom. He's thinking about a skinny Jesus type hipster that he can have his way with later tonight. Yeah, maybe this is great. Yeah, this is a great way to end the podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to the podcast. I started with a lot of energy and ended like a little fart. And maybe I'll do that vine video at some point. You guys are fine because it's the most fun thing ever. Okay. And you have to come on before we're tired of it. And what's our canned film festival subject of the week for this week? Well, we still have to get pills finished. I'll finish pills tonight. Start this week. Matt or me? Maybe Matt just start because he's going last. Yeah, Matt, you start and we'll just take the leave. We'll just, you know what? We don't even know what the subject is. We'll just have advice based on what you send us for us. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I like it. I like it. Okay. Well, this was fun. You guys enjoy yourselves. Come give us some reviews on iTunes. Come find us on Facebook. Find us on Twitter. We love thou-est all bye. Okay. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, who buys a slice finger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomity. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. To the insurance company that's spurned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me. It's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting GEICO. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tiers you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to GEICO. Sincerely, not yours, Tara, in Telluride. GEICO. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watchbook Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is the kill list, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more Exhibit C true crime shows, like Morbid, early ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
