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Thank you so much for coming to my Women Powerful Empowering Womenful Empowerment event. Today I want to talk to you about Shari's berries, okay? Summer is finally here at school's art and warm weather. Betch, it just puts you in a really good mood. Really? Yes, really. It's like when you get an unexpected gift. Like you feel great. Like when I was a child, I didn't even have anybody to tell you that they tell me that they loved me and they never got me unexpected gifts. Like berries. I would have not been a teenage mother and married when I was so young and then getting divorced and trying to kill myself if only I had berries. So don't make the same mistakes my mom made. Make someone you love feel great by surprising them with berries from Shari's berries. Hey, I'm Candy Burris and I love to send berries to my daughter Riley. I like to send giant deep strawberries from Shari's berries for only $19.99. See? That's a 40% savings. Go to berries.com, click on the microphone and type in watch and then go and for my listeners double the berries for just $10 more. You get that, Riley? Here's the only way to get this special 1999 Shari's berries offer. Visit berries.com. That's B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com. Click on the microphone and type in watch. That's W-A-T-C-H and for just $10 more you can double your Shari's berries offer. You guys need to get in because they are fresh, juicy, mouth-watering dipped in white milk and dark chocolate and the real housewives like Candy Burris and Tamara Barney are endorsing these berries. So you need to do it too. That's berries.com. Click on the microphone and type in W-A-T-C-H. [Music] Hey everyone. Welcome to Watch What Crap and is a podcast dedicated to all that crap we love to watch and tread the pieces on Bravo. My name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo and joining me as always are Ronnie Karim from TVGasm and Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blogs say hello boys. Hi, Matt. Matt, I folded my socks this week in honor of you. I'm glad because as everybody knows from listening last week I have a phobia of bald socks which remind me of the horror film Critters from 1986 and thank you for posting scary photos of it to bring back childhood nightmares. Yeah. Anyway before we get started today we're gonna obviously talk about a gossip and all of the shows that are airing on Bravo right now. Don't forget though to follow us on Twitter at What Crap and definitely get involved with us on Facebook. We're at Facebook.com/WatchWhatCrap and it is a party people. You don't want to miss out. It is more of a party than you know, a party at Cut Fitness starring Tamara Barney. And that is saying a lot. Whoa. Whoa. And you know what by the way I would like remind me in a few minutes after we do these introductions I want to talk about the Cut Fitness webpage that has gone up because we have to follow that slide. We cannot let that slide but anyway you guys should definitely follow me on Twitter. I'm @lifeontheamlist Ben is @bsideblog and Ronnie is @TVgasm and we also would appreciate a few more iTunes comments. Look we have a solid five stars but you guys are letting me down and you know what that means. I'm gonna have to start eating cookies unless you guys give me some more reviews. Yeah. Nothing. Yeah. Not to guilt anybody. But you will. But I won't. And don't forget you guys we are also on Instagram where Ben and I tend to battle each other with who can post the most selfie drunk selfies during a weekend and I think I took I took Memorial Day. You took. You did. And you and you took it with a wig on too which I appreciated. I took it with a wig. I was trying to channel my inner Amanda Bynes but I ended up looking like Vicki Gunvelson with a beard. Well it turns out that one's inner Amanda Bynes is someone else's exterior Vicki Gunvelson. That's just the way it works. So true. They're like. They're like human synonyms. And you guys we are also on Vine. I'm @lifeontheamlist you can find Ben I believe under his real name. How dare he. And Mandelker. Yeah. And Ronnie where can we find you on Vine. I'm under my name to Ronnie Karam and I'm obsessed. I'm taking vines of walking out the door. I took one of like just walking down the street. Yeah. I like this one that we're in. Oh go ahead. I was just gonna say Ronnie's Vines are really really funny. I took so many inappropriate ones this weekend and I pulled them all off of Vine because I was horribly embarrassed. So the only I only have one posted and it's it's Mariah doing the ookadooka spookin nuke. I had a dream about Mariah last night. I had a dream that Mariah died in a hang gliding accident. Wait okay so I I first out because you posted that and the first thing I thought was Mariah Carey who I would be a real tragedy but if Mariah from Mary to Medicine died I would rejoice. Oh I'm sorry. I met my dream that was Mariah Carey died in a hang gliding accident and I actually consider myself very privileged because you know when you dream something you actually feel like you're you're living it and so I feel like I've now experienced the rare joy of seeing Mariah Carey hang gliding. It was wonderful. Well she is she she is a butterfly she is a butterfly but she did not spread her wings and fly. She she went right into the San Francisco Bay and sadness ensued. What a nightmare. What a nightmare. Which housewife which which housewife would sing at her memorial. Luan. Okay that was just awkward so um before we get into the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County and the Mary to Medicine reunion part one which was delicious. Funominal. We should probably talk a little bit of gossip. Who wants to kick things off? Hmm Ben. Okay all right well I'll kick things off then if you insist. Tamara Barney has a new spin-off with Eddie about her getting married to Eddie which makes it now like the 32nd bravo spin-off where we watch some hideous person getting ready to get married which means that we're going to watch endless episodes of oh I just don't know if I'm ready for this and oh my god my mom and oh my god his parents and on and on and on and on is it too soon and the catering isn't here and it's like the same shit over and over again like why is bravo doing this to us? Because we tune into it. I don't. I'll tell you one. Yes you do. Yes you do. Here's the thing there is no housewife I hate more than Tammy Sue aka Tamara V. aka Tamara Barney V. And um this woman keeps digging herself a whole and um I need to see her keep digging it and making herself look like more of an asshole because that is what she did on this week's OC and the spin-off is going to make her look even worse. So what do you think this spin-off is going to be called? Because they all have like ridiculous names. Um dry ginas and tiny gay wee-wees. Obviously that was my first guess. Or maybe that could be the subtitle. Hot in, hot in Mission Viejo. Something like that. Um I think it should just be called like an August in Burroughs but dry. What about a concept of the rest? No I'm sorry ladies. That was very derogatory. That was Ben everybody. That was Ben. That was me. I'm sorry putting money in the swear jar. I'm forgetting the N. Yeah cut fitness. Yeah. See you next Tuesday at the chapel. That's amazing. That's what it should be called. I want to see a spin-off that just concentrates on Eddie's Grindr account. Yeah. You know if we could produce it we could just go from like twink to twink. His profile is just a bicycle seat that's like got a moisture on it. Yeah it's like slightly a slightly messy bicycle seat. You know there were photos there were photos that leaked the other not leaked the paparazzi had photos of Tamra trying on wedding dresses I think this weekend in Los Angeles so clearly they're already in the process of filming this spin-off but you know Eddie was not there. I know that the guy doesn't typically go watch the woman try on dresses but because he's a homosexual I assumed that he was going to be there judging and deciding which frog she would end up wearing. You know I didn't know that they sold wedding dresses at Big Lots. It's probably going to be like one of those like tiny pool canopy things. She's just going to take a kitty pool and deflate it and just wrap it around her waist. So Tamra's horrible and we got some more of her stuff this week about how she's a victim which I cannot wait to see this all unfold but Tamra's illness of being a bitch. Yay. I have another piece of Osegas I forgot to mention earlier but as we were prepping for the show it's about Lori and I don't know how um oh yeah talk about this. This is scandalous. Now we don't know I don't know how true any of this is but who rumors fact right. Let's pretend that it's all 100% true and we don't even have enough truth. Okay so this comes from the website absurd to absurd to sublime.net and they're basically this person is writing it's basically saying hey where the hell is Lori's grandson that her druggie son supposedly you know gave birth to or whatever it's the father of. So they're saying that the son because Lori's son is on heroin and so is his like wife or girlfriend that the state has the baby and this and the baby was born addicted to heroin and was going through withdrawal something like that right and there's all sorts of other stuff about George right that like George's wife wouldn't allow their kids on after the first season that their kids were on and that he's evicting the wife from an apartment or something like that. Am I getting this all right I'm trying to skim through the article it's really just like a lot of information. Addicting what wife Lori I mean evicting you Lori. The wife the mother of the other children of the Brady Bunch family yeah yeah actually works actually works for George which is hilarious because we all know that actually doesn't even work not even for George. Do we even know that George works? He's some sort of real estate guy with a yeah who isn't he has sort of like a prince belly and haircut and he sells things in Orange County. Well the thing that people are really having a fit about in all of this is that Lori had apparently had a chance to raise the baby and she gave it to the state because she didn't want to raise a baby on heroin and everyone's like what a great grandma well I don't know that I'd necessarily want to raise my sons my sons she already raised a son she already raised a son on heroin either excuse me sure he raised a son on heroin why should she have to raise a grand baby on heroin listen you can't then go on to TV and brag about how proud you are of your son and you have a grandson on the way and then the the kid pops out needs its fix and you have all the money in the world and you're like and see you later well see that's a thing Lori Lori on the journey day return policy just like it Ross yeah yeah the son came out and he had like he's holding a little caliente sign I was gonna say if any baby sorry I'm done sorry go on Matt sorry sorry I'm done sorry I'm done too sorry oh no oh no okay let's be it wasn't like we're like six minutes in and I'm already done let's be like Terry and Heather right now I'm sorry babe I was such a jerky pooh oh babe that wasn't nice he nice of me booty booty booty don't do it too and say little baby don't do the boom was better than a boy at least you and at least you invited me to go shopping with you and Ben this weekend but I never heard anything from Ben well that's because I told Ronnie text Matt I was with Ronnie did you not have a phone did you not have a phone too I was I was driving mother fucker I was being safe for the world yeah you backed me up on this please before Matt like it starts turns into a little critter and attacks me yeah Matt Ben was like Ben was like hey what are you doing and I was like I'm gonna text Matt and he was like you are about what and I said to come with us to TJ Maxx and he's like why I'll tell you after I text him I can't do I can't talk to texts at the same time wait do you guys go to the did you go to the grand opening of the TJ Maxx at Bev Connect we didn't even know I mean it was after the grand opening it was a week it was a week it was a week old but it was like clean and they had like nice stuff like I wanted to take pictures of like crappy Gretchen Rossi stuff and everything was just nice but then we went to Marshall's and found all the florida leaves yeah and there were even two people just TJ Maxx that were like hey do you guys need some help and I was like what this is TJ Maxx don't do that yeah this is crazy I saw I saw a bowl I almost thought okay you guys didn't buy anything you're horrible you guys were supposed to be caring about little babies addicted to heroin okay that is what I was going to say is that if you were a baby addicted to heroin you would clearly want to be born into Lori's family because she and George could buy you all the heroin formula that you would need exactly that's that's called good grand parenting exactly maybe to Ashley and give Ashley something to do with her life isn't it funny that all the like the idiot daughters on the real housewives world they're all named Ashley Ashley and Ashley should get together and have a spin-off yeah just about really stupid kids who do terrible things and like leave their gas on yeah exactly cooking with Ashley and Ashley I would actually watch that oh so yeah so Lori is already causing a bunch of controversy and she is not even on the show she was only on it for two minutes now it would they do say that she's coming back again next week does this mean she's coming back back or is she just like dropping some shit and then leaving again no I think that she's actually back for the remainder this season because I think there becomes a whole thing where she ends up fighting with Tamara for the rest of the year yes oh they're like friends right now yeah they're kind of they're kind of being friends right now but well I actually think that she's a good she's a good like what do you say opponent for Tamara because she's actually somebody who will not put up with Tammy Sue's bullshit right and she has so much money that she can just drop in say something mean and then just go back to her castle and like not care because she has so much money you know thank you George okay speaking of horrible people let's talk about some bullying on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills apparently the new season is in production and Kyle and Kim have both threatened to quit because Lisa and Yolanda and Brandy are ganging up and bullying Kyle and saying that Mauricio is cheating on her which I believe is true and I don't think that Beverly Hills can exist without the Richard sisters because they are fucking crazy but I don't know I think just Kyle is pathetic and ridiculous and I hate her I think Beverly Hills can exist without them because you know how many former child stars there are lingering around this city we could certainly someone called Vicki from from Small Wonder and get her on the show and be like sorry Richard sisters if you guys if you guys walk out we've got a robot if they had her and what is that it wasn't Edie McClure on that show as the next door neighbor she was yeah she should be a Beverly Hills housewife I kind of wish I would get flow from Alice and maybe I'd like the older sister from Mr. Belvedere please the one who gets like the flower poured on her by Wesley in the opening credits oh my god and then that's half negative right yeah who knows what Lynn from Elf is up to these days does anyone get it can someone put a call into her representation please oh I would like I would like Jody Sweeten because she was a meth head and that always makes for a good TV you know what she would actually be a really good choice not even joking yeah she would be a good choice you have to have a little bit of a past I just say get that girl some new boobies and some giant lips and get her on the screen yeah um I would be fine honestly with an entire cast of of 80s child stars everybody from square pegs on one housewives including Sarah Jessica Parker yeah she would be good like she stopped wearing high heels that could be a storyline for the whole season honestly you could really get the entire cast well most of the cast of one day at a time except for of course Bonnie Franklin do your part dead aren't they no they're all Franklin no just Bonnie Franklin no so is one of the daughters one of the daughters I think Schneider is dead I think Schneider's alive Schneider Schneider will always be alive Schneider lives in all of us Ew that's disgusting he's like herpes you could put you could put something on him but it'll come popping back up at some point Schneider was the master of someone opening a door and there's Schneider with one hand up on the door frame me like hello I'm here I know him and Larry from Three's company whoo that man I'll tell you what timing yeah they they know they know what's up Matt you're supposed to be stopping this would you please pay attention and do your job we're gonna keep talking about sitcoms until oh I have no problem with talking about sitcoms but we should really talk about the Richard sisters and how much we hate Kyle I've set you up for that and nobody followed up with I hate her too it's my fault I took it in the sitcom direction as I'm as I'm one it's that's my disease okay how much do you hate okay I don't really hate Kyle I'm actually really the thing that I've hated about Kyle this past season is that last year she got a lot of shit for being mentally set the reunion and so this year she was on her best behavior not fighting with anybody and she was kind of doing you know she was kind of doing like shady stuff to get people to fight each other but she wasn't actually fighting anybody but now I really like that Brandy has pushed her so far that you know she's fighting this season which I like so and you know what I like and by the way I call bullshit on this all this bullying nonsense because let's not forget season two of Kim and Kyle bullying Brandy like pointing their fingers in her face hiding her crutches when she was incapacitated that was bullying that's bullying so I'm sorry what goes around comes around bitch no that's not bullying you guys because Brandy said that Kim was doing math and so Kim is the victim and all of that don't forget you know yeah and please don't forget that it's actually called bullying. The only person that's ever been bullied is Alexis bullying bully no on her trampoline okay moving on um in the past few weeks obviously we've had a lot of issues with the real housewives of New York who's going to be in who's going to be out apparently Luan Luan is officially in does that matter I say yes it does matter absolutely Luan has to be there that's what I say Luan and Ramona are going to have to be there until the end of time and if they ever try to make Luan a friend of the housewives I'm done I'm not even kidding I'm done that's bullshit if they do that because Luan is one of a kind you know we have a lot of they're a bunch of generic housewives floating about you know they're kind of interchangeable just Nuvo reach tacky women but Luan she's got she's the only truly hottie housewife that's out there and uh I love her for that and god bless her for having passed out teenagers in her hedges she deserves them yeah she does she does I think that and I mean that in good way that's a compliment she she also deserves to have a racist a racist daughter slash artist yeah I like her daughter's art though I will say I liked it well the article I'm reading is saying that she's coming back in a limited role yeah and she's tweeting like that she's not in a limited role I'm just imagining her arriving in a giant like Kaiser role she's like I'm sorry you can't have this role it's very limited yeah she's in addition role she arrives in a dinner role well apparently okay so one of the I'm being served in a rosemary focaccia thank you very much the reports are wrong I'm in a hawaii bun oh my god I hate Hawaiian bread it's disgusting oh I think I like it I don't know I haven't had it enough but I saw a commercial for two days ago and I was it's been on my mind there are billboards for it all over LA and I'm like please stop why are they doing that don't they know no one eats carbs in LA so true um so anyway Luan was saying I heard this other thing that she was willing to take a pay cut because of the power of the show in order to launch people's products and I don't know if any of you have seen this but Luan now has like a cheap tacky ass like plastic dish line that she's hawking on QVC I believe and I think that she thinks that's gonna really take off and make her a millionaire again so she's willing to get she's willing to get less money on the show in order to sell her um her housewares I I I'm not even joking I want it I want it right now oh my god stop stop the press I need to have plates I need to have plates in my apartment when people say what are these plates I'm like they're from the Countess Luan Dolesip collection I have to have you know they're just like those princess die plates used to be able to buy on infomercials except with Luan's face even better even better like pictures of Luan with blonde princess die hair running from paps I'm seriously looking up her plates right now I actually think I want to see how much they cost she should have been cast to play princess Diana in the new film that's coming out not Naomi Watts I'm looking up Luan Dolesip's plates okay in breaking news oh my gosh he's calling is now starting to post selfie on his instagram photo with a beard and he's getting that camera so close to his face and he's already cross-eyed this is making me sick to my stomach Ben we have to out selfie Andy Cohen we can do it Matt I think can you post can just post one right now just give me one right now um I need it all right let me post one I got to take a picture myself right now I want a picture of you with Luan's plates as a selfie I don't have her plate yet you can pose with it on a computer screen it's called Countess Luan's new tabletop collection that's too far there's no pictures of herself but red is in as far as dishwork goes because everything's like a red pattern and they are very plasticky and they are going to look amazing on the TJ Maxx clearance rack right next to how pretty many comfort what's and what's the price points mask um I don't know I'm looking at mom trends dot com so you know this shit is for real yeah do you have that shit bookmarked do you really have mom trends dot com on your bookmarks yeah that's how I started because my breasts were an even and um I was googling my breasts for an even and I learned that I have to feed bueller with both sides evenly if it wasn't for this website I would still be only feeding out of my right boob and my left boob would be giant so thank you mom trams I am throwing up right now I am I'm taking on myself he met and there's something wrong with my my front facing camera if there's like a smudge on it so I've got like serious barber Walters um thing going on right now plus I'm really backlit so it looks like I'm arriving from heaven seriously you're just it's bumping up right now guys there's a really important alert that I've got to tell you about one of the lambs plates designs has a seahorse on it okay what does that yes done done that means it's going in my cupboard immediately that means I'm serving very fancy food on it can we please do you guys think that we could like just get a kickstarter together and um maybe make some money so that we could podcast live from um where's that place that they always go in the winter st. Bart's or where do they go it's certainly not quag yes it's certainly not quag I need we need to be in st. Bart's we just boom okay make this happen somebody make this happen get make a kickstarter happen yeah some one of you people must know someone who is like who works at like Expedia or Travelocity or someplace that needs some publicity and we'll talk it up if they sponsor us to go to st. Bart's for just a weekend I mean they don't even have to sign for read we can just we'll just go no complaints just just play them one of our Sherry's berry's ads or shave club ads they'll totally be in yeah exactly that should convince them okay a few other things before we move on because people we've been talking way too long and not getting into the good stuff um Teresa judice is launching a line of food after the success of her cookbooks discuss oh like a line of what do you mean like space food where it's all dehydrated it maybe you can rehydrate it in space I think a designer designer come in yeah designer ingredients is to it's gonna be like a big meatball that's in a can what what what flavored come in what do you like so wait so is she gonna have like a frozen food line I need I don't think I don't think she even understands what a freezer is and that's not a commentary on how fresh her food is she just doesn't understand modern technology um I'm sure her husband has a freezer full of dead bodies in that nasty ass garage yeah and you can carry them back I'm sure he leaves all the bodies in the woods where he found him and then blames somebody else who looks like him he's like what maybe it was my brother it's like his defense now yeah um so she's gonna have a line of food I think Teresa should have a whole line of Rosetta stone tapes that kind of teach you English from English for non-English speakers yeah like English is the second language yeah like Jersey English Jersey English yeah Jersey English yeah I hope that she has a can only kit to compete with Kathy's oh my god where is that the fact that the fact that Kathy is still on the upcoming season is a miracle I should have shot she does nothing the gossip is that she was not going to be on this season but you know that just shows go to show the gossip is always right well as I learned from watching the New Jersey special with all the women the the secrets of the women or whatever um I think she's back on because she finally started yelling at Teresa in the finale and the reunion smart move lady that's the way to keep your job yeah yes that's right okay so what is happening on these shows I'm sick of gossip this is all stupid and Teresa has a good line that's worse than Chef Boyardee having a food line I quit it's it's worse than Chef Robley having a show I guarantee they're not even going through the FDA on this by the way I'm sure Juicy Joe's uh oh who needs to do with the FDA but just you know put it in a box and you know put it in a store put it in a festival who cares who cares who cares yeah who is the FDA you know they're just a bunch of jokers they don't know okay where do we want to start let's just go to Mary to Medicine reunion part one because it was more delicious than anything Teresa could ever cook that was a great reunion great great great I'm so excited for the the second part is tonight I am not going to lie yeah they're they're fast tracking it because it's so delicious but um I will tell you this you know I have been a fan of quads since day one because you know she says all of the best quotes of the entire season but the fact that she is with team Mariah makes me sick I know I love quad but she Mariah is the worst she is the worst and I tell you I love the way Dr. Jackie condescended to Mariah towards the end of the show the best thing ever considering that Dr. Jackie is the only one who does not have kids up there or who can't have kids she certainly knows how to parent better than the rest of them she was she was she was I mean she was putting Mariah she's like I'm not going to speak until he were finished I'm not gonna speak until you're finished it was so condescending but so appropriate I loved it well Mariah was totally the Teresa judeis of the reunion she kept saying no and lying and then Andy had to keep calling her out on like lying because everything that comes out of her mouth is a damn lie and didn't Teresa even mock somebody for not being able to have a baby yes who was it yeah didn't she say to oh my god it was years ago but she was saying like oh who wasn't then Jacqueline Jacqueline was having some issues with her pregnancy back in yeah but it was something it was something like to someone who couldn't have a baby or something I was like ouch or wasn't it to Lauren she was like what do you know I don't know it was somebody that she was like you don't even have a family it sounds like well she did realize since Mariah when you have egg salad is it like when Teresa called Karen I'm like bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla I was like I'm a very nice person I know this is this is from last week but I don't think I talked about this one Andy when Andy got on her about calling uh calling Jacqueline I mean uh calling Caroline fat and Teresa's like Teresa's answer was well you know she said something to me and I looked over at her and all I saw was three rolls so that's what I said I saw it and I said it but she's a very literal woman yeah yes well that was her answer she's like that's just the first thing I saw so there you go okay next great answer um okay so questions for you guys um yes Mary to medicine had a reunion show we typically only see these reunions for the housewives but you know when then we started to see them every once in a month for top chef and obviously we had an amazing run with Vanderpump rules where we got multiple reunion episodes do you guys think that and shots do you guys think that all of the bravo shows that we're obsessed with should have these reunions or do you think it really belongs just in the housewives wheelhouse I think any show that has an ensemble of people that are fighting all season long then you have to have a reunion I don't think that is ever show on bravo well you don't need it for a million dollar listing or the decorators or you know not every show needs it or the millionaire fat maker yeah or below deck you know but I think that for when there's like when there's like a fight that involves a glass being thrown a purse being swung and things winding up in a pool you need to have a reunion yeah like somebody not being invited some but somewhere or being uninvited or maybe in people had a party but they had bad party favors and then they fought about it all year that needs to have a reunion and you especially need to have a reunion if you want to find out if someone is a pure lady or not as in the case here a pure lady or if you want to be a pure lady for 20 years I have your definition of a pure lady my definition of a pure lady is someone that does not eat food and does not need a party planner to arrange a party for Duncan oh Miss Carrie Pio yeah Miss Carrie you Pio girl you Pio I never said I was pure I never said I was pure as P after I drank water for 10 days straight that's how Pio you is you're pure like a water filter that I bought this fell pure but it fell wrong without you at the end the fact that you would bring up water filters when I've had a personal struggle with Brita for 20 years is unacceptable to me and shocked you are not a pure lady yourself girl you you as pure you as pure as my eye after I put a visor in there and I can see straight again because that's how pure you it those people do not make any sense okay that's my complaint about the reunion quad and Mariah sit there and this is this is all they do okay do you remember when I told you about when I had Fashion Queens on and I was sitting on the pot in the bathroom in the other room and all I could hear was like their voices through the door you just hear like cooing and calling back and forth, and there are no words, there are no sentences, there are no placemates. That's what this was. It's just. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Yes, too. It's too much those girls do not make any sense and even when they had them They're like who this is the dressing room can and it was quite a moron. They're like girl What do you think about Miss Carrie girl Miss Carrie Miss Carrie is fierce. She's shy Steve Shady Miss Carrie got eyes. Oh, did you see that? Yeah, she's so good. Yeah, girl. Oh, yeah It's the same class as as three homosexual men we love us some sassy black females that can Give shade give a good sound bite have a cat fight and be hilarious However, these women are such drag queen psycho paths that I am almost like I almost cannot handle it I'm not even kidding. I mean, I really thought it took me three episodes for me to realize I wasn't watching RuPaul's Drag Race I mean, it's that close right it reminds me of actually Back, you know on America's next-time model when Miss Jay Alexander was a judge and he would just sit there up on the panel And be like ooh, she got a real boo boo boo boo boo boo boo, and then we're like, oh Miss Jay you're hilarious I'm like, no, he just made noises That's what that's what it is like although. I do think what is funny. I think she actually says funny things Yeah, but she is losing points fast by hanging out with Mariah I mean Mariah is awful, but I do think what is kissing her ass because Mariah is the producer of the show No, I think that quad is just being loyal and because quad already has a beef with Toya and by the way I was so happy that during the reunion Toya said I have came here. She fit during the reunion. I was like, yes Yes She was never gonna let she was never gonna let you down in the fucked-up grammar department Well, they I love to how they all misuse the word projecting there was there's one part where someone asked Toya about something and she's like, oh, I think that quad is projecting and then Mariah's like well No, I think you I think that she you're projecting because you know every time every time mentioned quad or you know You just project on to me a question about such that I'm like that's not that's not That's not project. Yeah, no, they don't know English and watching Andy first of all. What did Andy have a desk? Is that just it does he know he's being ironic. I'm surprised that the desk wasn't made out of like a gurney I don't know it was like all the background was like Bunsen burners and beakers and I'm like this is ridiculous I also I also have to give a shout out to quad for Really being able to hide more stuff than we've ever seen before behind enough of that She was like I thought she's gonna pull out like a burrito at one point One maybe one of those like nine foot long subs from subway like every Ben there's a part. There's a part two. She's probably gonna pull out a lemon to squeeze on Dr. Jackie You know there's there's tons more behind that pillow and I guarantee you besides part two of the reunion There's gonna be lost footage and there will be more shit pulled out of there She has like one of those Roger Rabbit black hole things or Harry Potter like you reach into it and like it's like It's you can feel like a car in there. She has a sign for everything. It's like scandalous I wish that she had one of those signs that they put outside of churches where they put new things on it every week like Yeah, God is trying to tell you something, you know like have that and then while she's trying to make what everyone else is talking She could just be up there putting a letter on one at a time to make a point with a thing But the best part is that her timing was so slow because she had so much stuff behind it took her forever to find a proper sign Yeah, so Toyo would be like no, I haven't done that. I don't drink and drive I don't know. I would never say anything like that and you cut the quad and she's like rifling back. They're like Delusional delusional like Toya's not even talking about a commercial break, you know, and everyone's just shaking their head like oh We moved on. Yeah, I'm one of you. Please my son Shasti is as Shasti did it did Did it did can one of you, please? I know that you guys do some quad you do some carry You do a little Mariah, but can somebody please give me some Simone delivering my favorite line of reunion part one Don't you lie up on me? I know see you know she did a good job at staying calm all season. She sure kind of blew it in this one It's because it's like Oh Carefree and Simone were both seated on both sides of Toya and it was kind of like two teams pitted against each other Obviously with Jackie being out in you know nowhere'sville because she's not really on the show, but you know both both both Carey and Simone essentially all episode going like we were really never support Boya who they're sitting right next to we just weren't gonna Back you up Mariah and you know poor Toya is sitting there and I'm like actually both of these women hate you too Yeah Toya has no idea was Toria's too stupid. She just keeps nodding and going appreciate that. She's like I like this chair. Yeah Carers like I never said that that was that was Toya. Don't put me with Toya I've had a personal struggle being put in with Toya for 20 years, and I will not stand for it anymore That I think now that we're talking about Toya and drug driving you mentioned We have to talk about the newest development, which is hilarious when they started fighting about Quads allegations that Toya was pulled over for drunk driving with their kids in the car and Toya's response is no That that's this recent my DUI is recent that happened way after that scene You was talking about another scene. I was like oh Toya. You're making this worse for yourself So after being called to drunk on national TV. You went out and got it do you I? Then quad is going like well now I ain't the only one with a mug shot like okay You keep bringing up the fact that you have a mug shot Well, we got a Mariah ruined that whole storyline Did we talk about this last week someone on our page alerted or on our Facebook page alerted us to this But Mariah is the producer and the big finale secret that came out was it quad had a mug shot And they went back and let quad reshoot with her husband To make it look like they had that whole scene about them being okay with their mug shots You remember how they had that scene at the very yes, and so she kind of ruined the surprise So I guess the quad was smart to be nice to her because you know it took a lot of the sting out of it No one cared by the time it actually came out Yeah, exactly and and no one I mean even if we didn't have that scene earlier on I mean would anyone be really surprised that quad had a mug shot her name is I'm surprised I'm surprised she doesn't have three more than Lindsay Lohan to be honest with you And by the way speaking of quad I also loved the juicy tidbit that came out that Phaedra Parks used to blink her husband. Yeah The pinhead yeah She'd be like Is this the hood of pups in Paris Okay, why does she keep saying that seriously? I feel like that's in a constant loop Like why is that a defense like oh like that I don't understand. I don't understand I love how every time we start talking about this show we're like oh my god We love this show so much in five minutes later. We're like why are we watching this shit? Well, of course the I mean I thought it was a great reunion I thought they were really funny the entire time and attacking each other in ridiculous ways We've only mentioned like like we've only scratched the surface and we can't even get even further I can't remember a member half the stuff that was happening But I remember watching it and thinking like even just with Carrie alone like everything she was saying was just cracking me up Like every two minutes I was laughing but my favorite part of the entire thing happened at the very very very end We even made it the cover image of our Facebook page which you oh god. Oh god Lucy Mariah's mom comes out and She's all smiles and everything she takes us She takes a seat and he's like so how are you doing Lucy and she has this look on her face like I'm gonna kill you right now. She she has the most ghetto angry mom look. I love that He's like so what how do you feel and she's like she a lie. She a black hole of despair She an uneaten chicken wing She a piece of trash She a dead animal in the street. You want to run over again so it'll disappear itself into the concrete Does she also look like her? Is it just me or does her jaw look slightly unhinged I Think everything about her slightly unhinged. That is true Got that mean she's got that angry pout and her giant lip is like jutting out. Oh She looks who who did we used to say was Pearl from from from uh two-two-seven because her picture look like Mary She really disappointed Pearl her wig is also the worst wig I've ever seen in the history of America And it's worse than Amanda Bines's wig. Is that what I mean seriously someone can do a face like a Photoshop swap of their faces That'd be great Amanda Bines Melly it's hot out here. Maybe I'm looking at you. I'm just looking at my window man so That was a pretty good episode and how many reunions are they gonna have two or three? I hope seven I Think it's just gonna be two, but do you think the husbands will come on? No, they would have shown it how you think That's her husband's her respectable doctor span. Okay. They're very respectable. I don't know if you've heard that but Very very respectable, especially the psychiatrist Yes, and I'm especially toy his toy assessment. He was like tell the bitch not to come That's what you put on the invitation tell the bitch not say bitch don't come Can I just say one other horrible thing that I don't understand. What is up with this word trifling and is it really a word? Yeah, it's a word. It's been Prosliding for about seven years or so. Yeah, but is it where it is? Where's this because every time I hear trifling I start thinking of like truffles and then it's tearing me soo And I'm like, well, is it isn't there like a dessert called a trifle. Yes I did it the some Memorial Day party. I was at yesterday Okay, well, what is trifle it is this and they said this is trifle and I was like, oh my god This is so trifling and nobody laughed. What is it? What is trifle you a trifle and ho trifling like you are like You're just like a low-down dirty scoundrel. Yeah, it's like it's just the way the even the way the intonation Oh, it's almost what the definition is like you just like some like petty ass stupid like no good. Oh That's a trifling trifling. It's an adjective, which means unimportant or trivial Okay. Yeah, synonyms are trivial petty insignificant piddling and paltry. Yeah, all right guys Everybody understand. Yeah, the urban dictionary version is dishonest shady secretive a player all talk without following through not worthy of trust Please use it in a sentence as quad go You are trifling through you were supposed to call me, but you done traffling all day. I've sent you by my phone Nobody is in the phone Okay, yeah, does that is that convincing to you Matt It was satisfactory. I would prefer Ben you to use it as you know one of your favorite characters perhaps Carrie I Will not I will not tolerate anyone who does not act like a pure lady I will not speak with someone who acts like a trifling ho Perfect that made I didn't call you a class here. Yeah, it's classy. Yeah. I didn't call you a trifling hole I suggested you stop acting like one Huge difference, but I like that quad said that she never sent her a text calling her a whore And you know what I believe quad because I think that's that Carrie was being appalled by me and being like I told her not to act like a you know stop acting like a common hole But I don't think she actually said that cuz bitch would be in the ground right now If that was a nice busy she was busy dealing with Duncan's Endowment it would probably was she probably got her text messages confused and send it to the person The whoever the baker was that made out single to your cake for Duncan And what does this fake ass show where they're all pretending to fight but then Toya's secret dressing room footage her secret camera footage She was like those bitches be ducking out my door three in the morning And she's and carries I think they were in a hotel. They're in a hotel. They were in a hotel Yeah, I See Yeah, but definitely I could see quantum right getting up in the middle of the night in their jammies and going to fuck with Toya I know but my thing is Carrie's like what did they do that she's like last night last night after we were we were Dinner, so I was like you guys were all sitting there to dinner Laughing and then they were fucking with you in the middle of the night and today are pretending to hate each other shut up She's like luckily I was already up cuz I was doing some research about the drug cuz are I Have came here to this hotel to read about the cuz are and I want to learn more about the psychology Poor stupid Toya. Okay, are we done with that show? What else? Yeah, let's go to OC. Oh, see You guys Tamara's life has been so hard you guys no one told it they loved her which led to her being a sled in high school Was led to her getting pregnant which led to her getting an early marriage an early divorce Which led to her almost killing herself which led to her marrying a terrible husband at the second time? So this is all her mom's fault you guys. So how do you guys? How do you think Tamara tried to commit suicide? She said with pills? Yeah Okay, I Don't know what to say after that Except I want to talk about those kegle balls that quote that dr. Simone had earlier this season And I wish that you had that audio clip queued up right now Here's how I think Sorry little Lee I was out of I was out of quad time frame there So Tamara used pills, but was it dexetram or what? I think there were pills called not hard enough because first of all you should not be bragging that you tried to kill yourself And you couldn't even do that right all right and stop bragging that you were killing yourself like that gives you some That's like those homeless people on top two are like well I was homeless. What are you so fucking proud about you were homeless? Stop bragging about it on TV Tamara that you were you were about to kill yourself That just makes you look weak and it makes you look like you can't follow instructions How about it's not being a bitch they probably weren't even pills. It was probably like Flintstone kids vitamins or something like that Yeah, she totally like cut her finger and missed a vein. She's an idiot. I don't believe it Well, I love that you selfish to ever kill herself Here's the thing she I was just gonna say that she loves herself way too damn much to ever consider killing herself Well, I love that these people showed up Just wanted to hear about like how to open up a business and she's like and then I had a baby at 17 And then I tried to commit suicide and then no one ever loved me and they're like um Why would she ever like her mother to sit in the crowd and then essentially say you were the worst mom in America and point a finger At her because she said she did it on purpose. She said once she knew I mean she literally said once I knew what my speech was gonna be I thought it might be good to have my mom there because she needs to hear this Right because that is the that is a proper forum to tell your mom about all of the demons in your closet and why she ruined your life On stage with a microphone. Yep and by the way in in a hooker dress because the best way to address people about you know being a strong business woman is to wear a Mini mini dress with a keyhole cut out so your tits can hang out Yeah, and also being on a really cheesy show on Bravo that you fucking lucked into is not Being an entrepreneur. Okay, bitch like and how about you have a successful business and they give a speech Yeah, and by the way, what's Vicki Gunkelson should have been up there Yeah, and what sort of convention has Tamara Barney as their key note speaker Bennett's Orange County. It's really it was Los Angeles. It was the LA convention center This is like the third week in a row that they've come up to LA. They've invaded our space Maybe it was for that porn convention. They have every year and I actually think you're right I think it was like a Daltcon, you know how that takes over the convention center. It was either that or like the car show No, it's probably like a boat show even worse. Oh That's true. They do have that there. It's probably like a mattress convention mattress expo Okay, what else are we gonna talk about Gretchen went? Oh, I want to talk about Gretchen crying about her broken vagina No, it's like lush and plump on the inside because she has a pervy doctor I don't believe that for a second. I blame her not Slade's vasectomy Well, I love that the doctor was like there's nothing worse than listening to the eggs crack Like wow I have a question about vasectomies when you have a vasectomy is he able to like ejaculate? No, right cuz he's tied off Any man ever do that? Yeah, that's what I'm wondering like how is I So they don't keep having babies that they can wait. Okay, but here's the question does stuff still like come out but just not like Stuff does come out, but what color is it and how does it taste? It's clear and I don't know what it Tastes like but I'd imagine like it needs a little take a lot of mix in it like every other sperm So it tastes a little less baby ish What I don't know like I don't know. I don't I don't know anybody with a vasectomy. I Don't either. Well, I do actually but it was clear. Okay. I've only been there one time But it was clear and I think it's like just like regular sperm, but missing the white part So it's just like pre-sea Yeah But that has I can I have sperm in it though. It can so can you get pregnant off pre-sea? Of course you get an STD off a pre-sea mask shut your face. I didn't know that. Oh my god. I'm in danger I have to see pre-sea is still see it's just it's a little bit ahead of the rest of the gang So pre-sea is actually really see but like diet C like a little bit lighter No, it's not even die. Yeah, it's just like regular see except it's made with saccharin You know, it's like it's like if you opened up your sea bottle and you opened up slowly and a little bit like squirted out First and then you let the fizz die down and then you open it up and then drank the rest of the of the sea bottle So it's still potency, but just less potency. No, it's like sushi without the eggs around it It's like the first few drips mat is the exact same thing as see it's not It's like it's like a Snickers bar. Okay. It's like a Snickers bar without the net. So it's like a milky way Compared to it's not like an almond tree or a mounds Well, I think it's like it's a sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don't Wow, so there's still little fish in the pre-sea Yeah, I don't know. I thought I don't know I don't know people pre-sea Okay, let me let me tell you explain something because I'm neurotic and a hypochondriac I'm very up on things like STDs and how you can get them and pre-sea is just like regular See, it's just the first stuff that's dribbled out. It does it's not any less potent It's the same stuff. It's just a smaller amount. So you it might the chances are probably what up here What what if you're a really big pre-seer? Well, then are you you just have more of it coming out? I don't know you then you're just upping your chance Wow Sorry, man, we you should all I just need to leave this podcast and get to a Clinic minute clinic right now. Oh, I guess as this conversation certainly makes me pre-sea. That's for sure Take a selfie of that. This is our pre-cancellation podcast Can we blame slate for this conversation because we are now in this awful place because I think we should blame slate for Everything in fact yesterday. I was apologizing to vets for fighting for this country and we still have things like slate here Yeah, why don't we why don't we put you know, I just saw a star trek Why don't we put slate in a torpedo instead of a super evolved human alien thing and put slate in there and see it Shoot them off to space. How about that instead? Spoiler alert cause it's not really a spoiler Star Trek just lost my $15 it's only be a spoiler because slayed ruins everything including a Star Trek movie So you can't put slip in that Star Trek torpedo because he would just ruin the movie then What was the outfit slayed was wearing didn't he look like a butler like a fancy butler at some point in the episode? Well, he takes his fashion cues from the trinkets that Gretchen gets from Ross dress for less I got a little butler. I'm putting it in my kitchen. He's like, oh, I'll dress like that I know we say this every week, but listening to stupid Gretchen whining complain about wanting Wanting to give her husband the gift of the baby when he's got one that he's not taking care of across the country That's dying just it's disgusting. It kills me. It's killing me And I really hope that Tammy Sue turns against this bitch really fast because Gretchen has had it way too easy this season Don't you see the tide turning I feel like there's no way this season can end without Tammy Sue Snatching that fake bracelet or take the bracelet off that Gretchen gave to her and going no I'm back on team Vicky. I think that Gretchen is actually coming off as less likable than Tamara I mean, we made fun of Tamara, but she's I find her still actually very entertaining to watch and she really brings it But Gretchen is just becoming so self involved and so stupid and she just thinks all this stuff is fascinating about her I don't care. I don't want to see someone poking things up her vag I don't care about that Gretchen. No me neither. I like that. She's like That thing's so big is it gonna go inside of me? How much of it slave that thing's so big? I'm like porcelain this little thumb wiener. All she could do is talk about that. How that little device was so giant. I Know it's like what does she have to compare to? Oh, poor slave. I Just missed the days when we liked Gretchen back when she went everyone on the cast hated her And she was sitting there alone and in the world of Orange County and she was more fun When she was like owning her white trashness and you know when Jeff She would be like I'm gonna go visit my white trash family by the lake And I'm gonna put on that's like a daisy Duke bikini tap and go like pontooning like that's the direction I miss I like that she's she's like too glammed up now, and she's just does stupid things and I'm telling you that I preferred her when old dying grandpa's bought her motorcycles not when slayed eyes her and by buys her I mean Lisa's her a Rolls Royce that she pays for her own name That she's time the papers for the day before I agree let's see so anything I would elect this she bounced around on a trampoline, which was like which was fun That was good for her. She was like I can't just be bouncing around on the trampoline something could puncture or get sprained I like she's like, you know I'm just trying to walk here, and I feel like these trampolines are bullying me They're not letting me walk they keep bouncing me off like they're like get off the floor. You can't be here I'm gonna throw you in the air. They're bullying me There is no way that chick has a shot at one more season on this show. She does nothing I know she won't even show up At least I should like show us more of her acting class Also, please enough with this fake mom and my mom's a drug addict storyline And the mom so pathetic she's like, um, I don't really appreciate you calling me a liar, honey But you said you quit smoking. Well, I'm only smoking a little um, so you're lying you dumb bitch. Can we just move on? If you popped out a baby that looked as hideous as Lydia you would be doing drugs way fucking harder than pot I think Lydia's cute and by the way, I was also looking around Lydia's home Because you know we like to trash all these these women's homes in their decor and by and large they actually have really good tastes Like a few things are not great then it's because her husband is a homosexual and knows how to decorate That's true. They had some Eames chairs, you know, I mean like they they know what's up Although I still can't get over their kids names sterling and maverick. I it's just ridiculous I think if you put that if you put those two kids names together, you'd have a porn star Sterling maverick or maverick sterling either works. It's Maverick sterling. They're like they're like either you're either a gay porn star or an evil surgeon on a daytime soap They're like they're like a porn Voltron. You put them together and they become a porn star Maverick sterling I think sterling maverick sounds more like a porn star maverick sterling sounds more like evil surgeon Either way, I think they have a lot of pre-sea either way. I think i think tom scarett should get involved Sterling maverick sounds more like a brand maverick sterling sounds more like a porn star Not everyone you think about that everyone you can vote on our facebook page What sounds more like a porn star maverick sterling or sterling maverick? Please vote. We're really reaching for the stars today We really are so Lydia. Um, I think that story lines can be wrapped up because her husband was basically like, yeah, well, you know your mom's like really cool and fun and Like stop bothering her She's cool compliance about their mom being like making them party too much as a teenager. That's crazy He's probably like my mom kind of does that but um, you know, so that's why I kind of never mind I'm I'm gonna overshare and our listeners are gonna It's just it's getting way too close to home because my mom will typically call me and be like Um, hey, your father and I are going out and we're partying and getting them messed up and what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm watching tv. She's like you're a loser And then she hangs up and then she hangs up the phone So at least your mom calls you before my mom calls me while she strikes her I have fun to remind you you're my life, okay? You're the blood that runs through my system my body my veins This episode is brought to you by huggies little movers Huggies knows that babies come in all shapes and sizes and they're tushies due to Huggies has more curves and outstanding active fit parents know that there's nothing worse than an ill-fitting diaper Especially for active wiggly babies huggies little movers are curved to fit all curves So babies feel comfy no matter how much they're moving around and we all know they're moving around a lot They also offer 12 hour protection against leaks, which is a game changer Get your babies butt into the best fitting diaper huggies little movers. We got you baby This episode is brought to you in part by progressive most of you aren't just listening right now You're driving cleaning and even exercising But what if you could be saving money by switching to progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts Multitask right now quote today at progressive.com Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates national average 12 months savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with progressive Between june 2022 and may 2023 potential savings will vary discounts not available in all states and situations I still need to be invited do I have to pretend date you so that I can get an invite to thanksgiving No, you can't pretend to eat me because I never date don't know you down They'll be like hi matt. Would you like to check out the guest closet you're stuck here forever? Then no, you don't you don't want to be dragged into that Um, so anyway orange county and we have spent a lot of time on for it being so stupid. Nothing really Have any yes, it did Heather you talk about how much we hate we hate heather like we can't say how much we hate her Here's my thing that I sort of realized about heather It's so annoying that her opening title thing is that she says Whoever said that blondes have more fun haven't met me or hasn't met me Somebody posted this on our facebook page and it was hilarious And the artwork on her children's hallways are math equations on chalkboards So whatever whichever one of you posted that on our facebook page that was brilliant because that goes along perfectly with With what Ben is saying how not fun this woman is she's so humorless and so lacking in being fun That it's it's amazing that that's her title, you know, that's her little saying And I love that he's like trying to Apologize and he just can't word it right like he can he can't do anything right But hallmark yeah, he's like babe, you know, maybe I was just a little jerky because maybe I was a little jealous of your time now Okay, babe, I've been a little sad now Okay, what do you want? Excuse me you haven't you haven't said hot and cleveland 87 times within a three-minute span So you are not you're not channeling your real heather That sad sad woman Okay, so are you done talking about heather? I got nothing else to say except that she's humorless, but she can be uh turned with a stupid card Do you think that he would ever divorce her? Yes Yeah Once he's older He should why why would you want to stick around? We'll colet is in this phase because she's you know his wife is gonna be like, I have not dashad I'm leaving the babies with you and he'd be stuck with these damn babies He needs to at least let them once they can poop on their own and stay home without an anti he'll be out of there You know, he's already getting dental hygienist Weiner suckage a lot of pre-sea in the uh in the OR yeah, you know He's going like next door to the dentist place and getting some dental hygienist blowjob or something I mean, what is his wife giving nothing cold stairs and gerbil eyes? Is one of you sketching over there? I feel like I hear like a sketchbing drone. No, I hear that too. I think it's ronnie It is me. How'd you guys know? Are you really a scratch off lotto ticket? No, it sounds like it sounds like it sounds like a mechanical pencil No, it's a pencil, but I sketched a lady, but she doesn't have a face you guys And I saw a tv movie once that means that I was abused Well, I guess why are you sketch why are you sketching ladies? Um, I don't know you guys. I'm an artist right now I just made a barn And then I made a faceless lady and then I made a lady wearing a hat And then I made a guy with long hair wearing a Hawaiian skirt You should scan those in and post them on our page I'm thinking about taking a pottery class this summer. Would anybody take a pottery class with me? No, absolutely not. I'll take all of you. I'll take a cooking class with you I would do that for pottery. So what definitely not pottery, especially if it's that color me mine I that is not pottery. That is painting already pre-made ceramics That's true. It's a very like Alexa Spillino afternoon activity place You know that's pottery. I just feel like pottery is gonna make me wish that I had a Relationship like to me more in Patrick Swayze hadn't go so I'm never gonna have it And then I'll start crying and then my pottery will deflate and I'll be like, I can't even make pottery, right I don't know how are we not gonna cry a cooking class We'll just be eating Would could it be a Haitian cooking class? No, although I did meet this girl who teaches cooking class yesterday and she teaches Persian cooking Oh, that's a Persian Like, we just made some meat sticks. We're just gonna say the dry cookies. Why do you have to steal my line you whore? Homegirl home girl wasn't fast enough. I'm like home girl. You gotta hurry up if you could get your joke out with res on town. Hey girl Hey girlfriend No more Orange County. I hate them. Oh, I watched this newlywed show because you guys have been yapping about Are you not are you not hooked on this yet? You have to get hooked. I felt like it was five hours long. Oh my god Married I it made me not want to get married I will say our friend Lisa Timmons she hails from the the great state of Georgia from savanna And she always talks about savanna and since one of the one of the story lines this week took place in savanna I have to say it was adorable. So Lisa you're right. It's a very cute Um Let's see where where what did I hate the least about the show? Probably we should probably gaze at the way when the gays were dancing. That was hilarious Especially they are the worst I thought you said last week that they're the best No, I've said from the beginning that I've hated them with all of my being No, they were the they were like the most pleasant couple. I thought what is wrong with you Maybe I'm the only self-hater on this panel. Oh the rest of the people were just terrible terrible people terrible What ended up happening because I only watched it first half this week because it was like three and we had a podcast And I was like I could watch the rest of this or I could go take a nap for 45 minutes some doctor some doctor told the Trizzina lady whatever that she needs to hurry up and have babies because she's getting old And he said it in the like a really like curt inappropriate way She's like yeah, you're basically gonna be ancient and then she was away She's the one she's the one who said it's gonna hurt when your eggs crack. Yeah, she was an Gretchen's baby I'm sorry. That's just we have bravo storyline. Sorry. We had we had two inappropriate fertility doctors in one night but um the other first of all I can't I can't even talk about Tarzu and his lady But without mentioning their hideous pillows if they haven't bet. Did you notice those pillows these are terrible Like crazy color. They they were like from like the mylar collection from jc penny Wallard what would Martin Lawrence Bellard think of those pillows? Oh, they're ravishing. Oh, I love them I want to take one down to fresh Sit on it and pick out the spree samples that they have around the corner It was disgusting Disgusting and then she's sitting there making a fertility calendar using like this hideous Sparkle pen thing that's like reserved for you supposed to like I think that's like the stuff that you put on like a t-shirt when you're like Seven years old and you think it looks cool. You know, uh, yeah, I just hated everything about that stupid girl Yeah, that girl's really really horrible and she is too hot for her Exactly. He is way too hot for her. He's got a cute friend too, but His friend. I didn't see that part His like they like modeled together back in the day and they were like at the gym broing out Um, but they uh tars models are like right on the verge of getting old. I love it. They're so accessible Uh, it's like man to pump rules all over again. Yeah, nothing is that good? Um, so so that's what happened with them and then we had Uh, Alaska Uh, alaska now here's alaska All right. He's an asshole. He is just an asshole and a driver Uh, oh, there's been a pause. There's been a pause in the sky page Please wait and hold for a Ben Madelker and matt woodfield to return right now. You're with me ronnie karam As we wait Both men been mandelker. I'm here. I'm back Well, welcome back Ben. We're just waiting for a satellite feed to come back of matt wetfield who should be back any minute In the meantime. I was just giving a news update Well, I was I was babbling on. I don't know if you got it. You might just have heard just radio Dead air on the podcast. I was saying that uh, alaska He's like, you know, I think he's really cute, but he's such an asshole He's such an asshole and his wife seems super cool and she's got good taste and I liked her little Love seed that she brought in although I do agree. It should not be the main couch of the apartment It's too small way too small, but like why not have both Okay, well, this is the couple this is the woman who wouldn't let her bridesmaids be in her wedding because they were too fat So she which we agreed with which we agreed with no I didn't because I believe that your bridesmaids should be fat I believe that wait actually that's true What I think that you swayed me by the end because you want to look better as the brides so get super fat bridesmaids Yeah, I've never been to a wedding where the pretty girls are actually bridesmaids They're all fat and if they are skinny and not to say that fat girls You know what I mean But the the ones who are skinny like the maid of honors usually skinny And she has really terrible hair because the bride makes sure that the gay gives her a terrible haircut So she can still stay true in some way Well and the maid of honor can be skinny, but she has to be single and bitter Yeah, and have like klimidia Yeah, so that's so that's that girl kim So she's an idiot and also she said that she believed that she's Super christian so she believes that her husband should have all the power in the relationship And she's just going to be a good little wife and do whatever he says Is that a christian thing? What kind of thing is that really It's like just like a basic old-fashioned thing my parents were my parents did that And that's why I laughed at this couple because My parents used to do that. My dad would say, you know at the end of the day the decision is mine My mom would be like, yes, your father is the man of the house. Well, we all know that's bullshit Everyone who knows my family knows that my mom runs that shit It's like she's just saying that so my dad can feel like a man for like the two seconds She's not holding his balls in a vice But isn't there a way to have a load of the podcast? Isn't there some way to make a man feel like the man of the house Or can't you be the man of the house that being an asshole without being a dick? It doesn't have to be a dictator show because that's how his dad was to his mom And his mom never said anything and he he's just being tough like his dad I'm talking about Alaska. You know when Alaska says oh, I'm that me too That's what Alaska says that he's like that because his dad was the controlling one in their family Well, he's just like a real dick like he's like going off to la and she's like, what's your itinerary? He's like you don't need an itinerary. I'm going to la His itinerary is I'm flying to Atlanta to shack up with Tyler Perry Yeah, yeah By the way, a lot of Tyler Perry commercials on uh bravo this week for his because he's how On Oprah's network, right? Yeah, the uh, what's that one that's the soap opera E1 that looks ridiculous? And they all have AIDS Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. They all will get AIDS It's called the band stopped playing on because they all had AIDS We're not talking about behind the candelabra people. We're talking about Tyler Perry on not yet Yeah, I can't watch you doing this to yourself scott That's a fun career. Oh Um, that's michael douglas's performance and behind the candelabra. So anyway, i can't watch you do this to yourself scott So then the next let's see the next couple without long island couple This awful long island couple where they miss he not the nest I mean, there's not enough money in the world. I would never get with that Not only is he disgusting, but they're putting together this like hideous little tanning salon in the in the most depressing strip mall In in all of long island and there are a lot of terrible strip malls in long island But this one here in stuff account. It just looks grimy. I think it's called like Glow fit glow tan or something like that crappy fonts neon in the window. Uh, and like the only glow I like And franny's glow gorgeous ladies of wrestling. Oh, yeah with those old ladies Yes, you remember you remember those old two where's ronnie is ronnie like drawing a sketch and playing with the dog. What the fuck? I'm making a sketch of someone who's bossy that their wife. He's got his missing. He's missing a hand Ronnie. I like that ronnie Ronnie's having his own like hilly joe osmond in some thriller from 1995 having to draw out the crime that he saw moment Whatever. Hopefully joe osmond told me i'm in a bar one time Oh, well, I'm sure he was tanked is that before he wrapped his Saturn around that like pole like six years ago when he had no more money Yeah, um, it was around that time actually, but um, no, it wasn't because of that I think he thought I was a paparazzi, but he was just talking to my cousin So I was taking a lot of pictures and I was I was being drunk and i'm not I don't need to be yelled at the kid from six cents get out of my way kid Doesn't mean no one was more drunk Yes, pay it forward with Helen hunt and kevin spacy Helen hunt who's now a very famous tv director you guys Wow The things you learn on this show. Okay. Yeah, elaska's horrible. I cannot wait for kim to dump him They're not gonna last and who else on this show like gays because they're hilarious And georgia stands in his wife for both ridiculous. So she is really pregnant is that did that? She is pregnant, which is I mean, what a sad life that she's gonna have why would anybody want to get And then make a baby on your honeymoon Like aren't you supposed to enjoy like sex as a new married couple for like years and years before you start popping out screaming obnoxious monsters? No, we we all waited we all This generation is waiting too long to settle down It's like by the time we settle down it's because we have to have a baby before our ovaries fall out on the floor You're talking about us like we are all popping out babies Oh, no babies over here We're gonna do it And you know gay people are really doing this the dumbest way because we're all starting so fucking late I was at this memorial day party yesterday and there were gays with the baby there And of course they were like my me and mom pop odds like by the time we finally decided to stop fucking half the city We're 60 years old. That is not the time to be getting a little half-aged and newborn you guys Yeah, but we'll still be wearing way too tight diesel jeans and getting bowtocks So even though we are 65 we will look 40 too and that little asian baby will just fit perfectly in with our Tragic lifestyles will be in our eighties when those kids are graduating. We're not gonna do them any good I mean, yes, it's no kids for me. No kids for me. Not a problem on my end. Why is that? Did you get a vasectomy? Too much precy, you know, I was like a naph cut it off Do you have a ton of anti sperm antibodies? No, I just don't I just don't want a kid I don't want a kid Why not? They're so annoying Well, I'll talk to you when you're 60 on your 60th birthday power hour I'll bet you're gonna be like him or shell collins. How would your eggs like to meet my Little sperm dinkies my little mental curse firms my little mental curse firms I am still I bottled some precy for you In in an actual baby bottle, please take this into my powder room and do what you have to do I'm a very literal insemination process I want to send a baby bottle and I will shake a rattle And then I'm gonna lock in a room with a stork So I just wish bravo would start spreading these shows out because as it is, it's like We record this on tuesday and it's like sunday. There's a show monday sunday monday Too much just too much any more days. I need this Then the rest of the week is the crap like tapetha takes over and million dollars listing and which I actually Watch this past week. I'm not watching roblie, but I watched abutth of this week and as much as I love her I've interviewed her. I think she's awesome. I think that she should have won season one of sheer genius. Her show is tired it is She needs to put some relaxer in it and go away She needs to go take on abc Or amies baking company in scostell. Let's see how that Okay, now I would pay 599 to watch that on video on demand, but um in the meantime There are only so many trashy shit holes in long beach that she can try to pretend to resurrect with a 499 budget Oh, and by the way, that that brings me to my one last point about uh, newlyweds Frickin tarsu or tarsi or tarsan and that girl they live in river side. I mean enough said Well, it's not a zuzah with shina shina shina It's deeper than a zuzah. Okay, but they let they have three homes. That's why they have one in california They own an apartment in new york and they live in We're north carolina or something. No, like north carolina or something. It doesn't matter rivers riverside negates at all I hate that too. This is what I raised a girl. There's a tattoo on her face. I don't like it Because whoever whoever had the taste level to say I want to have a house in riverside But you know that that's just that's me says you're just awful And couple that with those pillows. I mean, I'm sorry. I cannot deal. No, absolutely not This is a thing. This is a problem with you not keeping up with the show because this is why they live in river side because That is the home of her dead mother And so she's living there because her dad couldn't accept the fact that her mom died And he had to move out blue. She's taking care of the house. So Way to way to ruin everything. All right. Hey, does that mean that she was raised in riverside? Which sure explain a lot wouldn't it? That it certainly would so okay. Maybe maybe it's not as bad as I was saying But it also means that she has riverside in her blood. Yeah, does that surprise you? No, no, no, not at all. Do you guys think that her tattoo is ugly because i'm actually thinking of getting one in that general area? Uh-oh What what is her tattoo? She doesn't she have like a dead scrolling eyeball that reminds her of her dead mom? No, I think they got um Yeah, she's like I I want a tattoo of an old lady with chicken neck to remind me Like the worst memory ever. No, they're they're they're of a word her and her husband both got Or she and her husband both got the same tattoo and I think it's a word doesn't it mean like Where is it? Where in the body? Um, where it's on her inner it's on her inner forearm Oh, okay. I think it's a word that means like 599 I think you should get like a I think you should get a hummingbird and get that tatted behind your ear You know me. Yeah. I only have only if I can go with my mom on mother's day because we're really besties No, my god. We're like besties. I love my mom You guys want to talk about behind the candelabra. I didn't see it, but you guys can you have the way about it? It was so terrible slash amazing slash a really terrible slash rob low deserves Five Emmy awards for his role on the screen for five minutes as a plastic surgeon Yes, uh, I it's a week later after I saw it and I'm still not sure how I feel about it I was very disturbed, but I also laughed but seeing michael douglas naked all that time and like making out with matt damon I did not need that excuse me ronnie. They were not They were not just making out there's a scene of matt damon riding michael douglas like there's no tomorrow Um, yeah He and michael douglas was on the bottom and then michael douglas talked about they talked about how michael douglas could do it Like four times in a row and then he admitted that he had and uh something put inside of him So he could just keep going and going and it makes him feel so young and uh It was just so gross and matt damon plays this drug addict guy And he's just basically there because libirati is really rich and then libirati gets rid of him because he's a raging drug addict And I was like am I supposed to feel sorry for the raging drug addict? And then did he make up this scene where libirati calls him back to his deathbed just to say i'm sorry and give him a ring I I didn't buy any of that shit, but it was fun listening to michael douglas go Okay, so here's the thing I watched it for like the first 20 minutes. I was like this is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life michael douglas should have to give back his oscars Then by the end of the movie I looked at the youtube clips of burachi and he nailed it Mm-hmm Yeah, he he did a good job. It was just really and why are we why are we even talking about this? We should be talking about how hot matt damon looks shirtless with that built out chest that he has never had before Slash he may be hotter than ben affleck Um ben affleck is not hot and also I read a blind item a long time ago that talked about ben affleck having horse press And nobody could work with him because he stinks so bad. So maybe that's why i've never thought he was hot But also matt damon's butt in this movie. Come on guys. It was like a billboard for squats I do think it was a room to squat. Do you have it? Do you think it was really his butter or did you think you had a standing? No, that was all damon, but I mean in that little white speedo watch out Yeah, it was matt damon, but and then we saw him get fat again And then he went on something called the hollywood diet, which is just a bunch of pills And then he became addicted to pills. What do you think i'm on? Is that what it is the hollywood diet because you haven't become a raging cokehead yet Could you tell me what pills they are because i need them i want i'm gonna take them i'm gonna commit to a program Do you really want me to tell you the magic pill i will tell you but i don't know that i should tell you i'm on the podcast You should hey Okay, there's this pill There's a pill called keto zime seven hold on and i take how do you spell it? I think it's like ke ke y to z y me seven And I take it's called it's keto zimes something anyway my Nutritionist slash i don't know what he really is He's my rob low i'll just put it that way. He's my rob low from behind the candelabrum He prescribes it. It's not a prescription actually you can buy it from a special doctor And i take the homeless man down the street AKA the homeless man on the street and i take three of them every day and it just i think it makes you either P your fataway or something i don't know but it's it's magical i need you to spell it for me again I don't have it spell it's keto zime all i know is it ends with zy me So i'm gonna oh keto zime oh ketoxime maybe Okay ketoxime Um there's no no No, I don't see that. Why did it come up on my suggest? Okay Seriously send it to me. Okay. Does it make you sweat in your butt? I'm sweating right now a little bit but um I mean, I took only two today. I didn't take three today Well, actually I think it does make you sweat all day long I don't know I have the shakes and I sweat all the time But I don't know if that's coffee or the drugs in my system and the fact that I don't eat food anymore Well, that was skinny It's because I used to take a bedroom when that was out, but it was you took a bedroom. What is wrong with you? Well, that says the drug addict. Hey, I've heard really good things about a fed pen anyone You guys listen here's the deal with fed pen. Okay, that was only outlawed because stupid fat people kept taking 20 of them So that they would get even skinnier you were only allowed to take a certain amount No one who took the recommended amount died. So let's all stop being so dramatic And also, I was very skinny back then and I was very cute and fen fen was in the drug zenid Wait, is it zenidrine that diet drug that's out there and drain yeah zenidrine. Yeah, and now it doesn't have that Guess what? It's a bunch of bullshit and it doesn't work. I want fen fen back You know what just get yourself a worm and you know, you'll be eating for two. It'll be great That's what they used to do back in the 60s. They used to give you a worm What are you talking about like an intestinal worm? Yeah, they gave it to you. How did they give you one? You swallow it like a shot up No, yeah, it grows and grows and it eats everything and then how do you get rid of it? I think it It sort of decides you know what time for new home and it gets right on out of you and it crawls out of you Do you have to go see dr. Jackie? Probably you may have to even see Duncan because he is a surgeon. That is true That i'm so horrified, but also i want to warm and and ketox i'm When's your birthday? I'll buy you a worm and some pills you will you're so nice. Um, it's at the end of august Can we just pretend this next week? Okay, don we'll move it up. Yeah, i'll get older quicker if I could be thinner faster And we can have the worm on the podcast like hey, so how's it going from inside ronnie's stomach? Yeah, i'll be like i'm too tired from all these little seizes that i had The worms like oh man. I need a worm Yeah, I don't know how to get the worm out because I don't want to just be like sitting at the movies or something and the worm's like Well time to go and then it comes like it's not like it's not like that It's not like it's not like alien, but I think it does like doesn't it like come out your stomach or something and they have to like Why is it like it's like a chest buster? No, it's like i'm sure if you go on to youtube you can see all sorts of awful things But actually there i think you can kill a worm just by taking something to You probably have to keep the worm for a little bit and then you have to kill it Unless you become the worm What is wrong with us? I feel like this was very low energy and we talked about no tv I I was thoroughly enthralled during the entire thing, especially this wormy part Like a worm. Yeah, when the when the best part of the podcast is to us talking about pre-sea. There's an issue Well, there's memorial day. I spent all day yesterday writing thank you cards to veterans and drinking So i'm still i'm still hungover. I'm so sorry for the end stream of photos on that instagram I'm so embarrassed don't be embarrassed You couldn't have any worse than me on vine because I finally discovered vine and that's all I did I put like 50 videos on there probably lost like 100 people I uh, are you kidding? I posted a photo of me falling over on a couch with my legs to heaven And I lost four followers in a span of 30 seconds Well, you don't want you don't want those followers. Anyway, by the way, if they don't if they don't want to if they don't want to see my ass In the air then that I don't want them. Yeah, Ronnie. Ronnie has my realness Ronnie has made me get into vine now And so I started posting a lot of vines over the weekend and last night to tell you guys no so you don't feel too bad I made a vine that was about two charges made I was talking to each other So really like we all have been in two dark places Wow somebody somebody give you a webby award for that That was an amazing one. You never know. I think that could become a show like every episode of seven seconds I like it. Maybe I will I'll do another one. I'll do another cherry tomato situation tonight right after this in fact Yeah, the sequel yesterday, but I didn't post them because everyone was yelling at me because I was posting too many of them So it's like okay, I'll stop and I'll secretly take them anyway. I'm like we did right now running around the bush is my favorite one I liked the one with the vodka attacking you Yeah, yeah, that vodka attacked me And then it's really fun. Okay. Yeah seriously like follow us and find like I only have I don't know like a handful of followers So please like follow me on vine because you know me if I don't have enough followers. I get sad I don't even notice, but I mean I think it would be more fun if we were all playing together. That's for sure Why don't we start making 21 second movies and each of us gets like act one act two act three I like the idea. Okay. Our first one's going to be about diet pills. Okay. I'll be act two All right, um, I'll be I'll be act one. Okay, you do it and tag us both and then I'll do act two and then matt can finish it off with act three. Okay Okay, and then we'll and then wait and then you guys can send me the files Not well, and we'll put them together into like one little movie and put it on to our facebook page Yeah, it's going on my facebook page I wrote a song called my friends and I used all my vines from last week and they were really cute you guys Oh Okay, so I guess we're done with this next week. We will be talking about other things Such as the real housewives of new jersey season premiere folks Um princesses long island. Oh my god rills And marietta meds reunion part dia You guys. I hope you enjoyed this boring ass podcast because it's the last boring one You're gonna have all summer shit is gonna blow up next week. I was having a good time over here Shit's gonna explode princesses long island. If you're 27 and you're loving with your parents at time. What does she say? To get an njb nice to a school. Oh, it's time to panic What happens when you're 33 and living in west hollywood adjacent and you're single What is it time for? What is it time for? It's time to wait 20 years before you uh adopt an asian child that you're way too old to raise God, i'm doomed Honey, you're still you're still young and straight people years Now i'm sad. I need to go take some diet pills But again on top of that save some for me Okay. Bye everybody. Love you come on us on facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crappins You can find me ronnie on twitter at tvgasum. You can find bend b side blog And you can find matt at life on the mlist you can also find us all on vine. I'm ronnie karam two words k-a-r-a-o Matt is are you matt witfield on vine matt? I'm life on the mlist across the board. Oh good one good branding And then is ben mandelker on vine so come find us. We'll be having our short film Um festival on vine week so join in Yeah, now that the now that the can film festival is over it's time for us to have our vine film festival And now it's time for the can't film festival Okay, we will talk to you guys next time. Thanks for being here. Bye Bye Getting a good shave can be a real pain in the ass You got to search through 50 different brands and models matching new blazed old handles that stop being compatible Paying for bullshit features where your razor doubles is a flashlight or a vibrator or toothpick You want to pay 20 bucks for some new razors matt Join our society of smarter men go to dollar shave club dot com Forward slash bravo to get high quality razors delivered to your door for just a couple bucks per month They've made it so simple you guys high quality razors 100 Guaranteed sent on schedule so you never have to think about it again Every month you get a new pack and every week you change your blade. 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That's me Takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more You don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube dot com slash wait for it comedy There's no need to wait for it anymore Because it's here and it's funny And I love you A few days ago brook two dean posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments thumbs up brook Geico also wants to make a comment in just 15 minutes You can save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to geico and nothing says inspiration better than saving money Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork Excellence and make it happen hashtag keep climbing Hashtag savings geico 15 minutes could save you 15 percent or more on car insurance If you like watch what crappins you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on apple podcasts prime members can listen ad-free on amazon music before you go Tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery dot com slash survey Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge Or why nearly every house in america has at least one game of monopoly Introducing the best idea yet a brand new podcast from Wondery and t-boy about the surprising origin stories of the products You're obsessed with and the bolder risk takers who brought them to life like did you know that super mario The best-selling video game character of all time only exists Because nintendo couldn't get the rights to pop i or jack that the idea for the mcdonald's half email first came from a mom In guada mala from pez dispensers to leave us five o ones to air georgias Discover the surprising stories of the most viral products plus we guarantee that after listening you're going to dominate your next dinner party So follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts You can listen to the best idea yet early and ad for you right now by joining Wondery plus It's just the best idea yet (upbeat music)