On this week's Watch What Crappens, Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TVgasm) talk crap about The Real Housewives of Orange County's Tamra's newly discovered bitch disease, Married to Medicine's drunken trip to Little Caesar's, and Million Dollar Listing New York's obsession with bad acting and showing us butts that no one needs to see. Come on in!
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That's article.com/crapins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Spring is here, you know, because everybody on the streets freaking crazy. I got told by a lady at Whole Foods yesterday, I got called a crazy f-word today at Starbucks. A lady's dog bit me and then said she didn't know me an apology and the bus almost ran me over. I think that's because of the heat. Yeah, well, you know what, I think you need something to make you feel better. Nothing could make me feel better. Nothing. Oh, I think something could. You know what, I bet if I sent you some giant dip strawberries from Showery's Berries from 1999. Berries. Berries. That would make you feel better. That's a 40% savings, Ronnie, especially if you go to Berries.com, click on the microphone and type in "Watch W-A-T-C-H." Oh my God. You and you know what? What? For our listeners, double the berries for just $10 more. Oh my God, that's a lot more berries. Maybe I should order some berries and throw in a few extra tens and that way I can get some berries for the old lady who told me out from the Whole Foods and the bus man who almost drove me over and the crazy person who called me a crazy f-word at Starbucks. Yeah, exactly. And you know what, when you get those berries they can come covered in chocolate and have like decorative swizzle and juicy and they're good for birthdays and anniversaries or, you know, just because there's only one way to get this special though, 1999. Showery's Berries. Go to Berries.com, B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com, click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in "Watch." That's all you got to do. Don't wait. Order. No. Yeah guys, get those berries. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap Inz. A weekly podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mandelker from B-SideBlog.com and joining me this week is Ronnie Karam from TVgasm.com. Hi Ronnie. Well hello Benjamin. Ronnie can be found at TVgasm on Twitter and at Ronnie Karam on Instagram. You can find me at B-SideBlog on both of those platforms. Missing this week is our birthday boy, Matt Whitfield, who I think he just had too much cake and is lying comatose at the door of cafes trying to get in and get some sort of makeover. Yeah, Matt doesn't eat cake because he's anorexic now but we did send him cupcakes made out of fingernails so hopefully he had a good time. I hope he ate them and threw them up. You know I hear it's a personal struggle of his for the past 20 years, much like Kerry from Mary to Medicine. We love you Matt. We love you. Happy birthday. And we hope you're enjoying your week off from the podcast. That's our birthday gift to you. You don't have to talk to us. So anyway follow us everyone on Facebook, Facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins. You have to follow. We just are putting up so much bonus content if you're one of those people and we get a lot of them who are like oh my god when's it gonna be Wednesday already. We can't wait for the next podcast. Just go to our Facebook page. There's plenty of stuff to tide you over. Yeah, right. Yeah let's talk about some TV gossip. Okay. Okay. I was gonna talk about the fact that Ronnie you and I went to TJ Maxx and to Marshall's this weekend and found all sorts of great stuff from the Gretchen Christine collection. Yes, yes. You got some very good pictures of a lot of the stuff that we saw and I actually understand a little bit better now why there are no housewives in Glendale. Yeah because the TJ Maxx's are not very good over there. Awful. I was disappointed. I'm not gonna lie. I bought a lollipop and it was so poorly designed. There was like a hole in the bottom of it where the stick was and so it collected all this spit and then the spit started coming off the stick which you saw. To be fair you bought that lollipop at Staples and everyone knows you don't get lollipops at Staples. You get staplers at Staples. Then why are secretaries off that? Well they go to like cinnabums after Staples. I'm just kidding secretaries. Not even allowed to say secretary anymore. There's no such thing. They're all assistants. Oh really? We call ours a production coordinator and I think that's some bullshit. I think she even makes less money than the secretary because she has a fancier title like let's just be secretaries again and make more money. That's great. Exactly. Exactly. So let's get I guess let's get to some gossip. You seem like you're ready to roll. Well also if you go shopping at those places do not go with Michelle Collins because she will take stuff out of your hands and tell you it's ugly and you will end up buying nothing except lollipops and jelly bellies. No no Michelle has very good taste and she was doing you a she's doing you a favor. She was preventing you. Listen we didn't want you to turn up like Gretchen. The point is if you're being a TJ Maxx and Easter you're supposed to be discerning. You're supposed to wade through the crap. You're supposed to find the gems. You're not just supposed to take the very first like plaid shirt you find. They were ten dollars. They were ten dollars. Well she made it up by making me laugh the whole time. Yeah there was just hilarious. Everyone should follow Ms. Call on Twitter. You really should. She's funny. If you guys think we're funny we're not funny at all actually but Michelle Collins is funnier than all of us combined at times ten. Yeah and she'll tweet you about how ugly your clothes are. So I'm looking on the internets for some real housewives news right now and Bravo has announced today. I believe it's today. Today's the 14th right? Yeah more or less. Is it though? I think by the way Ronnie. Today's May 14th and this should be a special day for you. It's one for me I just realized. Why is it? It's the nine year anniversary of the inception of TV Gasm. Well happy birthday Benjamin. Happy birthday to you too. For those who don't know I started TV Gasm with my friend Joe Faz. I was beside on there Joe was J Unit. That's why that's why I beside blog. That's why I don't write about music. It's beside blog because it's a reference to my name on TV Gasm. We did it for like three years. We left. Ronnie took over and now Ronnie is the king of TV Gasm. No you were there three years and I'm there six. I feel we've been there a lot longer. That's it. Anyone out there with the job for me? Tweet me. How much have you chased? I was only on one year of SNL. But everyone just reminds me of all the good old years. I was only on for one year. I was only on for very little bit. Well happy birthday TV Gasm. Wow we. Can you believe it? Nine years. Nine next year is the 10 year birthday of TV Gasm. Unfreaking believable. Oh my god. Okay I'm looking for a job. Anybody out there? Come on our Facebook and give me some offers. Yeah. Okay so it's May 14th. So we're not the only ones with an anniversary. The Real Housewives of Orange County are about to have their 100th episode special. Yeah. On Monday June 24th. And they are gonna do a two hour special interviewing housewives to see how the show has impacted humanity. Huh. Negatively I think. Well it's boosted TJ Maxx sales that's for sure. Yeah a lot of ceramic roosters have been sold. I know it's really been a boon to the hanging wall art of coffee served here posters. Yes lots of those proper grammar everyone but thanks for just staying along with me on that sentence. It's very strangely worded. Lots of fake plastic portraits that say Paris on them. A lot of ceramic chefs holding up either wooden spoons or platters and whatnot. Yes there has to be something for the poor people in Ross dress for us to throw on the ground indiscriminately. And yeah you know what God bless them. They've kept it coming. Thanks Real Housewives. Thanks thanks for all the memories. So yeah I don't know how it has impacted the world. I know how it's impacted me. I've gained and lost probably about 400 pounds since these shows started. I've thrown a lot of vitriol towards middle-aged women that I don't know. Yeah and I've become kind of scared of females in general. I'll tell you what I've learned. I have learned that I hate Orange County way more than I ever thought I did. I've learned that Quag is a place that no one ever wants to go out on Long Island. I've learned that Miami is a place where I want to go immediately and talk to all the old women. Which of course I learned that with the Golden Girl. It's sort of reiterated for me this time. Let's see I've learned that anyone can start up anything. If you want to sing a song go ahead you can do it. It's very empowering. I've learned that you if you want it listen if you like if you like clothes if you like looking at catalogs you can start a fashion line. Yeah if you like food start a restaurant and if you have the same letter if your first name is the same letter as some sort of alcoholic beverage like Vicky's vodka you can start an alcoholic beverage company. I know that was that was creative right. She's like getting because they both have V's. They both have V's. V is for vagina vagina vodka. Yeah thank God she doesn't have like she's not named with an M because then she just have like Midori. That's not something that's gonna fly off the shelves. No I don't think so I don't think so. So that's I really don't have a ton of gossip today. The New York housewives were trying to play hardball and not sign their contracts. Okay anybody on a sinking ship people with lifeboats don't tell them don't give them reasons that you're not gonna get on their lifeboat. Get on the lifeboat just get on it don't ask them for money to get on it just get on it sinking bitches. Who are you you ain't the cast of friends people barely watch that bullshit last year and you're asking for a raise no no way I I this is probably the biggest amount of hubris we've seen I would rather have all these women fired for their hubris and have Jill Zaren come back then to have them get raises for her own show. I would rather have Jill Zaren have a show where she has ginger liquor nostril for an hour. I would rather have Jill Zaren just have a show where she calls small time bloggers all day and lies about her past. I would rather see that. I would rather watch a show where Jill Zaren does things like wipes up spilled mineral oil or jumps out of planes does like basically things I really don't care about then watch these women get raises. I would rather watch Farah Abraham's nasty vaginal sex tape with Jill Zaren as the replacement actress then see them get raises. I would like Jill's an hour where Jill Zaren tells me who Farah Abraham is and what she did to her to deserve her horrible horrible mean tweets. I would like I would like a show where Jill Zaren reenacts what it was like for Farah Abraham to give birth to a baby but instead of a baby coming out of Jill Zaren it's just ginger comes out of her batch and I mean both the dog and the root. Oh ginger poor little ripoff. Ginger little ripoff. Every time we really shit on Jill Zaren though I do have to say I you know she did come on to our show and you know I have to give her a little bit of props for that you know I'm not gonna totally slam her. I just want to just I just want to hedge my bets when I talk about ginger her dog coming out of her badge. She knows she's always welcome back. Yeah yeah thanks Ben you're the nice one. You're the nice one. Leah by the way Leah Leah Black if you're listening come back on our show Leah for those listening at home who do not go to our Facebook page Leah Black from Real Housewives of Miami posted on our Facebook page so I mean I think that tells you something if you're not if you're not on our page you should be. Yeah she said we should do the lemon cleans. I'm not doing the lemon cleans Leah. I'm sorry I'm sorry Leah I'm not cleansing anything I have enough diarrhea as it is. Love ya and Lord knows you're thinner than me but I am not doing a cleanse. Well yeah who knows maybe in ten years I'll be I'll be changing my tune but right now I sort of like doing the idea of like just eating a lot instead. Well I did a cleanse this year and it was a 43 day water cleanse where all I had was water and I am a more horrible person for it. Yeah that sounds like an awful idea Ronnie like at least most cleanses have things like cayenne pepper and maple syrup in them but yours is just straight up water. Yeah mine was horrible. How did you not die? I felt so good it was so nice not being a slave to food and man the second I had food again forget it I'm a slave again but it made me a more horrible person I have to say and I also look like there are certain movements you do as a bigger person that you can get away with it when you don't have the like fat to back you up like the way I talk like I kind of have a twitch I guess but when when I'm skinny it's really pronounced and I look kind of like I have palsy and then I have a popsicle head. I'm gonna be just kind of fat I just want bigger arms. Yeah that's a goal. I want bigger arms too. Yeah I'm just changing the expectations of myself now I just want to jog this above minimum wage and decent arms. You know what I'm really glad that we're working towards our goals of bigger arms by sitting here podcasting about middle-aged women on Bravo. Girl I just did some pull-ups while I watched Mary to Madison. I made it to 12 thank you thank you everyone and to be fair I went to the gym today I did not see anyone from Vanderpump Rules but but I continue to see them on a regular basis. Oh I saw someone from Vanderpump Rules the other day at the gym I mean I was outside the gym I wasn't in it but the guy with the freckles who shaves his forehead. Oh Tom yeah he goes to crunch now so you see Vanderpump Rules definitely up their paychecks because now he's not going to LA fitness. I don't I don't anticipate his crunch membership last thing very long. Let's see what else happened someone and Anna went to our band Chris Jenner and Real Housewives from the Met Gala. But Kim was allowed in. Kim who? Kim Kardashian. Yeah gross. Wait so so not even someone like so not a single Real Housewife. What about a former Real Housewife? I'm just reading headlines. I'm guessing that no women who stayed at home after marrying ugly rich men were allowed in so. You know of course what if that was what if she was like ever invited in the first place. Yeah what if she was like dare. No I don't mean Real Housewives. I mean Real Housewives. Oh like actually yeah Anna I thought you meant like I thought you meant that like Shire would build wasn't allowed on to the Met Gala and I'm like that's not fair and I'm like wait a second she was never invited in the first place. Well that is what I meant but I just think it would be funny if Anna Winter was like no women who stayed at home with their babies are allowed into my party. Well that's probably part of it too. You know there's I think they lose interpretations of it. It's like the Constitution. There's strict interpretation and there's loose and I think that when it comes to Met Gala they can they can go either way with it. Well we were just talking about how the Real Housewives of New York were holding out for more money and they ended up signing but Perez Helton who's he's like it's like reading 60 minutes. Um he posted a tweet. Wait who's this? Oh Bravo dropped some serious news when they revealed. At this point the returning cast members include Ramona, Sonia, Carol and Heather. So what about the Countess and what about Aviva? This is not about Aviva. This is the children who have no contracts. Yeah poor Aviva. Aviva no one wants you back. Sorry but we do want you Countess come back. Uh first of all I don't I don't trust anything that Perez Helton says because I hate him. You do? Yeah I do hate him. Do you hate him because he got skinny? Tell me the truth. No actually I hate well I hate him not so much that that because he got skinny but because he now walks around with like um you know his nips out everywhere as if anyone wants to see that because the truth is this Perez you're not that attractive even with a good body. I'm sorry I'll be caddy. I'll just I'll I'm gonna go there and I'll do that because Perez Helton you used to steal stuff from tv gas as long as this is the uh the birthday of tv gas and we would write something then he would take it and not credit us and he would just pass it off as his own and I think that's not fair. I have journalistic integrity. That is super classy. I just totally um copy and pasted something from entertainment weekly today for tv gas. So you see it's like karmic it's all coming about like tv gas was now turned into that so yeah there you go there you have it. It was just a schedule though. I put my own opinion on it. Okay everybody okay stop judging me. What I have to admit every bad thing I do I've always been like that. It's a very confessional podcast. Yeah I hate about me. We have we have thoughts we have thoughts about things. So um people tmz who's really really really someone to listen to because they're like the biggest. Um they're reporting that casey caseim's wife Jean caseim is claiming that she is in talks with bravo to join the Beverly Hills housewife's cast which I just can't see that. Um I am totally down for that. You know why casey casein's mansion went on the market about a month ago. If you go on to curbed LA I'll try to put the link up after the podcast. This mansion is crazy. It's a bad shit crazy. It's like it makes Liberace look demure. Okay this is a crazy crazy mansion. So whatever lady presides over this crazy mansion has got to be bonkers herself. So I want her on the real house. Well she is bonkers and she was on cheers in a in a small part. She was Nick Tortelli's wife but then they had that spin off called the Tortelli's and she was a bimbo wife and she was hilarious. I was a kid when that came on but I loved it so much. I was so sad when it got canceled because of her she was so hysterical. Well I I'm I'm excited for all Jean caseim rumors and I embrace them all. I do too but I think she's like 70 but maybe she'll be the new Adrienne. Listen a wise man once said keep your feet on the ground. I keep reaching for the stars. And I dedicate that I dedicate that to you Jean caseim. As a as a wise person once said she done told me I have hold my cup wrong. I dedicate that to you Toya from Mary to medicine. As a wise woman once said I have came here so many times and I've never seen a drug cuz I are here. So why is Intouch reporting? Intouch is reporting yesterday that Nimi Leagues is a lesbian because someone said it because Portia Stewart said it. Way to be on the money there. Intouch that was like three weeks ago. Nice nice job. Intouch more like out of touch. Hey yeah. That's the sort of humor that made TV gas and the beast that it is today. Wow. Sad you're still not here. Really sad. So let me see what else. Lydia's there's something about Lydia. Oh no I don't care. I don't know. Why don't we just move on to one of these shows. I'm sick of the gossip. Okay. Why don't we start with Orange County. Should we do that? You're a batch. You really are. You're not performing. No you're not performing. You've that was a that was a really really well-spoken fight. Yeah well it's pretty much the most literate fight we've ever had on the Real Housewives of Orange County. So I was impressed. I was impressed that it did not end in La La La La La La La La. Which is what I actually have a few weeks ago. Yeah this was actually a fairly interesting episode of the OC. Do you want to go in order? How do you want to tackle this episode? Let me just say first of all that I'm really into the OC this season. I think it's just got that that vibe about it. You know the seasons that are good have a vibe where you care even on the adult episodes you're just sort of in it and I think the season has it. It's got the thing. So this episode started in the Boudoir of the Dubro Boudoir. Why do I try to say that Ronnie? Dubro Duboir. Dubro Boudoir duh. I am my my my my system is restarting. I'm really glad that there's someone else having trouble talking because I've actually been googling tongue surgery to see if someone can like make my tongue smaller. It's too big for my mouth. I know I have been slurring a lot or mumbling maybe more mumbling not slurring. I slur I lisp my tongue I bite my tongue when I'm eating like it's too big. I'm just finally going to say it. I think that God does mark all gay people with some fucked up mouth thing. Like that's why gay people listen talk funny and then that's why people beat them up and that's why they turn crazy like the the kid on that marriage show that newlywed show. Exactly. So anyway so basically Terry what? I was just saying that Dubro Boudoir. Oh yeah Dubro Boudoir. I still can't say it. I cannot say it. It will be that's my challenge is to say that tongue twister. But anyway so the they we're sort of rehashing the fight. Heather was basically brow beating or again talking about how hot this is her hot and Cleveland moment and it was just such a you know he was sort of like shitting on her and she's like you know I don't think you understand. I am up to these children I am a mother. I am a cop. Oh my god okay you're a leader. You're being way too nice to Heather because it took five minutes to even get to that. So let's reenact the scene. Do you want to be Heather or do you want to be Terry? I'll be Terry because you're gonna be funny as Heather. Okay. Hey I'm really sorry. Oh oh really? Why are you why would you be sorry? I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. You know I was just joking. What were you joking about exactly? Why would you be sorry in joking? I don't I don't know what you mean. Why were you joking? What were you joking about Terry? I don't know. I just I just like to joke. I just thought it'd be fun. Oh you thought it would be fun? What would be fun? Joking? What were you joking about Terry? What was it? I just I'm just making a joke. It's just such a I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh really? You're sorry. Why are you sorry about joking? What were you joking about in fun? What were you having fun with? Joking. I am a mother. I am a mother. I am a cleaner. I'm a maid. I make dresses. I clean diapers. I wash windows. I tell people where to drive our children. I get gas for the car. I breathe air in this home. I've changed an air filter Terry. Do you know what it's like to change an air filter and ceilings that high? Do you know what that's like Terry? I'm sorry. I do. I do because I've done that Terry. I have I have Terry. I have taken leaves from the sidewalk and I have kicked them back into the grass Terry for this family. For this family. You know Ronnie you're missing a key point which is that she's like I am a laundress. I am a mother. I am a tutor. I am a helper. I am a friend. I am a tutor. I am a teacher. So wait did you just say tutor twice? You know what that's it. By the way when I washed it in my mind I was like she just said tutor a second time. So when he said did you say tutor twice? I was like first of all I was like oh no you shouldn't have said that. I was like yes. I was laughing so I actually clapped in my house for that because he was doing the same thing over and over the investor where he's just fucking with her with I'm sorry. He does not mean it. He's like hey babe I'm so sorry babe babe I'm sorry. That's all I can say. Well why are you sorry Terry? I was a real butt the other day. I want to be co-parents okay. I want to be co-tutors. I want to be co-mothers. I want to be co-tutors okay. And he's like great as long as that means you do everything and I buy the mansion because I love that she's like I worked so hard for this family Terry. You're living in a mansion that this man pays for with all the fake boobs he's installing every day. What do you mean he doesn't work? I will this leads me to a wonderful rant. My friend Havarti is her online name. She left this comment on my real house wise of Orange County photo cap on my blog. It'd be said blog if one should go. And she wrote this rant and I thought it was hilarious. So I'm going to read it back. Okay she goes. This Heather Terry business is rubbing me in all sorts of wrong ways. First I kind of smell bullshit like they're inventing a storyline to make themselves interesting. That suspicion is due in part to the fact that Heather's complaints are pure selfish drivel. Yes dummy no one denies that tutoring, chauffeuring, laundering, cooking, and party planning WTF are a major undertakings. Full-time moms are exactly that full-time. But you know but do you know what else is a major undertaking? Four years of college, four years of bed school, five years of a residency, a fellowship, and then performing surgery NBD to provide an incredibly enviable lifestyle for your wife and four kids. Oh and added pressure. How about the fact that within all that you're the sole wage earner pending those hot and Cleveland residuals? Amen sister. I totally feel that way. And I'm not saying that having you know being a parent is an easy job especially to four kids right? Four. I mean that's crazy. Yes she's tired. Her womb is tired. Everything about her is tired. I get it. I don't blame her. But it's still your job. I don't get to just go to my job and be like I'm going to do a show next week for a week with like one line to Betty White and being paid five dollars for it. And everybody here has to cover my work for me and not be pissed about it. Well and on top of that like this man truly has people's lives in his hands every single day. Something goes wrong and someone dies or someone's face is disfigured or they're facing a huge lawsuit every single day multiple times a day. That's stressful. Allow them to crack a dumb joke once in a while. Well and don't marry and I agree with Tamara which is rare but don't be don't be marrying someone who's a smart ass and they get mad that they're a smart ass. Exactly. Exactly. She's like well he wasn't always like this. Well she he's probably like yeah she wasn't always like this too. She used to probably be she'd be hot and young and funny. Yes. Well um to your friend's point is whale which was what was I just wrote friends point what was the other point that she made. Um um I don't remember but we have a lot more of Terry and Heather stuff. Oh that it was all faked. Yeah. I totally agreed because okay here's the only evidence that I really need. Terry was on the swan. Okay. Yeah. That's that's really all we need to know. That's all we need to know. I mean you cannot be more of a reality whore than being the doctor who was on the first plastic surgery um like bachelor or whatever that was. It wasn't even the bachelor. That was just where ugly chicks went in and got like ripped apart and became other ugly chicks but made out of rubber. That was the most horrifying reality show of all time. Oh my goodness. And that was Terry. So yeah he's a total whore. I think that they're making it up too but they really need to watch out because that is just uncomfortable talking like that. Like well we'll get to that discussion. Well we'll get to that in a little bit. So uh so we have this opening scene and then we're back to wines by wives. The future wine club that's going to take America by storm. Now you can know which box wine is the best because Tamara and Vicki have curated dozens and dozens of bins of Bartles and James and Francia Sutter home. Frog sleep. Oh no that's actually a good one. It's nad dog. Frog sleep is delightful. Um you have the fresh and easy brand surfboard or whatever. You have big kuduna. Big kuduna. Charles, Charles Buckley. So here's what I love. I ran about this on my blog. So they decided to go up to Malibu to do some wine tasting and Tamara's like you know I don't want to go to Nappa or Temecula because they're kind of played out. I'm like okay I get Nappa is played out. Temecula is not played out. Yeah Temecula is not played out. Temecula does not have a presence in the worldwide scene. Admittedly I'm not a huge on a file but I can tell you Temecula is there they're not lining up in Paris to get the new crates of wine that just came in from Temecula. Okay and are they from Malibu? Well Malibu is supposed to be pretty shitty too but the thing about Temecula is this. I went there once about a year ago just sort of ran I actually went to Temecula for a corn maze which is reason enough if you ask me. But then afterwards my friend and I were like well let's go check out some of these wineries. So we went we went to about three or four wineries. All the wine was shit. One of the wineries was built to look sort of like a medieval castle. They had gargoyles and griffins and like mythical sculptures everywhere which was like really strange. It was the entire place. Every vineyard had the feeling as if Tamara Barney herself had decorated it into the time. Yikes. It was that was the taste level. Everyone all the people all the women in there it was like a sea of Tamara's ingretions. Okay these are the people who are walking to these places and think this is amazing wine. It's not. It's crap. Yeah it didn't look like the classiest place in the world. And especially because no one really knows their wine so they're just all drinking it and kind of nodding at each other like what are we supposed to do you know. So the big one of the big controversies was that Vicki Tamara didn't feel like Vicki was really taking this this wine trip seriously. She wasn't drinking that much. She wasn't paying attention. Well Vicki was pretty drunk. I mean she her eyes were totally glazed over. I mean give the woman credit for at least stopping. Yeah and she also I think at least she had the wherewithal to realize you know what I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about with the wine. So why don't I have to bother even listening. Just just give me a just give me a bottle of something. We'll put a label on it and send it off to all the tacky ladies of code of the cause. Yeah give me something for ten dollars. We can charge the ladies eighty dollars for seven in a box. Seven one of those five dollars for anything to send boxes from the postal office and get it off. They'll love it in Mission Viejo. That's all that matters. Totes. Calabasas calling. Calabasas is not in Orange County. Yeah but either way. So wives by wives don't get it. So they show up at this Malibu winery and Vicki by the way. Can we talk about Vicki asking the girl how old she is and if she's dating her dad. That was hilarious and who's not thinking that. I like that Vicki said you were thinking it too and you're lying if you said you weren't. I know I love how Gretchen acts like she's upset when in fact just you know four years ago she was dating a 120 year old man dying of cancer. Well that's probably why she was upset. She doesn't. She was probably asked that many many a time. She's like it really bothered me that she would say that cause her reminded me of Jeff and our old man sex we'd have. I don't know what I'm talking about. It reminded me of the time I went to the movies and somebody said you mom you want some popcorn for your dad too and then I wanted to cry. It reminded me of the time when we went to a restaurant and someone was like would you like some coffee Jeff? And he's like okay and I was like Jeff how can you have coffee there's no sign that says coffee served here. And then the waitress was like don't tell your dad he can't have coffee and I cry. And then I went to past Lake and I cried some more. Stupid. My Gretchen impersonation is so bonkers and so not anything that sounds like her. Well mine never has and I imitate her all the time and it really doesn't sound like her. And so last night when I was watching the show I was like you know what I really should make more of an effort to really do impressions and not just make stuff up like actually learn how to do them. And so I was practicing with her and you know what I do kind of sound like her. You do. You sound like you're alive. Which is what she's doing. He's like I don't know. Like sorry my voice actually started to veer into Karen Sierra's mom. I hate him so much. No don't do any of those because the whole the rest of the show is going to be in those accents. You know it's going to be probably so yeah so they had the wines by wise things and of course Tamara is being a total c-word as used and just sitting there the whole time going oh my god she's not even drinking the wine. Oh my god she doesn't even care about this. I do everything. Look at her. Oh my god Vicki are you drinking? Are you drinking the wine? Oh my god she's not drinking the wine. Oh she's so horrible. 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New customers on first three month plan only taxes and fees extra. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes of detail. At all. And then she was all jealous about Vicki having Vicki's vodka and she was mad that Vicki was actually putting time and effort into it. I'm like well yeah of course Vicki will do it because A) it's going to be a dying enterprise so she might as well try to get the most of it while she can. And B) like wouldn't you put all your energies into something that you were not going into with Tamara Barney? Like why would you ever bother like one extra second of time with something that's involved with Tamara? It's clearly not going anywhere. Well I mean if we're going to put like real like real world expectations on these things. I mean why is my why? First of all we don't have any evidence that Vicki's working on that. Tamara said has one as my why is Vicki that I heard about through my friends. And Vicki's like oh good good. Are you working really hard? Is it keeping you busy? Oh yeah yeah real busy real busy. We're making why vodka. We're putting it in bottles. You know just the normal just so a bit of events there's events there's things there's calendars being sent to me and the emails. She am busy she is lying to make herself sound busy. Tamara's like oh my god how could you do that and not not try. How could you try and get vodka into a casino and not wines by wives. First of all because it's a product. Wines by wives is that club like hey below you you want to sign up for wines by wives and serve people whatever the fuck we send you. Just stupid. You know really also that wines by wives what's really going to come down to is that every time Tamara goes and flies from to New York for watch what happens live she just got to steal whatever bottles of wine they serve her in American Airlines and put them into pour them all together into one big jug and send to one lady the one lady who signed up for the stupid. Yes she is she's going to be like total profit total profit. Meanwhile why is Vicki making vodka. Vodka was never her signature drink or her thing right I was just like I think she's truly doing it because it starts with a letter V. She is it's she really is like oh Vicki's vodka everyone has something. Yeah and you know Vicki has always had insurance but she really hasn't had a product as she in all these years. No she hasn't but she doesn't need one. I don't think she's doing fine with her insurance. Oh gosh we could all use it if you come up with some little product that's going to make you a couple million a year. Why the hell wouldn't you do it? Yeah why not. What do we have to say about Eddie and his doctor. Oh wait we can't even get there yet because I still have some Tamaras. Okay go on with Tamara. Oh my god okay so Tamara's going off on Vicki and then it turns into and this also happened on married to medicine which I guess we can get to later but you know then it becomes Tamara's a victim somehow and she's talking to Eddie about how she has some kind of disease where she doesn't want to call Vicki a bitch when she leaves the wine thing but she's just so embarrassed that she did but she just can't stop herself and what do I do and Eddie's like you know Eddie's answer is in his sad half-closed eyes which is like you're a cunt okay he's like hey babe just make sure you don't do that to me babe sorry babe she's like you know I lose my I lose my temper I just I get in a blind rage I just don't understand what it is it's called being a c-word Tamara that's what it is stopping an asshole that's all you gotta do stop it that don't don't kill me Ronnie I actually like that scene I thought like it was a rare moment of like mild introspection from Tamara Barney it was like for a moment she realizes oh shit I am a cunt to women sometimes all the time in fact and she of course she's not taking any steps to fix it she's not signing up for therapy or anything but it was nice to see that she had like a flickering moment of culpability she didn't know something else happened or somebody told her you know everyone who you've ever met dies or yeah I don't know what that's wrong but like everyone you love dies oh that's what that's what Ramona told to Bethany on the Brooklyn Bridge that one time oh my god it's like well you know I remember no I remember the walk on the bridge but I don't remember that's what caused it you know they're walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and Ramona's like well you know um you know every every relation if you're in always dies and Bethany's like what I was like well you know you push away people you know no relationship you have no one could have a no one could have a being a relationship with you something like that and by the time they got to the other end of the Brooklyn Bridge Bethany was a mess and Simon and Alex the bird they're like hey welcome to brunch well what whoever said that I don't did they say that to Tamara or just about her I don't remember what it was but I don't I don't know who said anything to Tamara she was just sitting there just trying to eat sushi and all this and then she started getting all serious yeah I think it was in someone's testimony or diary room session I think it was or maybe it was what Breonna told Vicky when she was complaining she was like oh well you know that's Tamara she's she can't keep a friend or whatever it was but I think someone just said something to Tamara because it is true I mean Tamara's had a problem with everybody in the world she's a horrible human being she's never gonna have a friend and I just love that she's like gonna turn it into a disease so now it's something we're gonna have to feel sorry for her that she's an asshole because it's just how she that's just stupid shut up Tamara be a nicer person or don't I mean preferably not no I like her the way she is I do she's sort of vile I kind of I have to admit though I did like the moment of introspection I really did I I don't know you know sometimes when these women are just being hideous bitches like non-stop you know you think it's an act it is it is an act it certainly is but you think that's all that there is to them so sort of nice to see a little slightly more dimension I'm not calling Tamara the most fascinating person in the world but maybe a drunk because of course she's drunk while she says it and of course she says it after being a total c-word when she's not in a blind range which totally killed her illness defense yeah but I mean she was she was being a total c-word the whole time anyway well now let's go to Slade because that they're my favorite new couple that's what the girl on tv gasm said today and I totally agree Slade and Eddie slutty yeah I like that slutty yeah yeah they got a bromance going on um although I'm sure Eddie wishes it were a romance poor Eddie okay you know we've always joked about Eddie being gay and I mean everybody like and when I say us I mean America because he's so big and strong and he's with Tamara he's obviously not like he loves Lady Gaga yeah like he's not with Tamara because she's like cute and fun you know he's with her to be on tv obviously and he's just gay he's got teeth whitening I mean he's just I mean he just he would have been home with the dick in his mouth and he has six he has sex with men very gay yeah yeah I'm not a whole swallowing sperm thing that he does but yeah but yesterday I felt really bad for Tamara because if she's so clueless that she doesn't know that everyone thinks he's gay why would she be telling a table full of people he won't have sex with me on days that he goes bike riding or whatever before he goes bike riding he has to be alone he's gone for hours at a time yeah with another man man usually sleepy oh yeah yeah you know what he's he's going on bike pass and getting blow jobs you know he is oh absolutely absolutely you know here's my only request of Eddie I want him to shave his nasty ass beard off and I'm not talking about Tamara I'm talking about the actual beard yeah the actual one days it's it's disgusting it is he he's he's starting to age all of a sudden and the beard is making him look terrible he needs to get rid of that thing yeah he looks gross he looks like he's basically just given up yeah well wouldn't you if you found yourself stuck with Tamara I mean if you're gonna have a beard why why beat Tamara yeah there's so many desperate housewives he could be banging to get on TV maybe move to Beverly Hills get get some Taylor action she'll do this point fantastic yeah um so anyway so at this um so over the course of this wine tasting thing to get back to Heather and um Heather and Terry so they are all talking about like relationship dynamics etc etc and then Heather starts to talk about a fight the fight that they had but of course the way she describes it is she's like I you know I was all excited about my hot and cleveland moment which is still by the way very funny to me and then she was like and then Terry said some things it just sort of like to tear it down just sort of like to shit all over it and I'm like me personally like shut up Heather he did not shit all over it you asked him to take care of the kids and he was like jokingly saying uh hey kids how about you guys stay up late at night you don't go to school that's all he said and she acts like he said to her yeah good luck on your fucking sitcom you're gonna be terrible the show will never air and you might as well die yeah exactly he's like good luck playing the gerbil yeah yeah she's ridiculous but she's a typical drama queen who everything's a huge drama and she married a child so that she could yell at somebody her whole life so like yeah congratulations I'm glad you're in a horrible uncomfortable relationship that you're both obviously getting off on because he gets off on pissing her off and saying I'm sorry a million times and then pissing her off again and she gets off on telling me he's an asshole over and over like I'm glad that you guys have found each other but leave me out of this just leave me out of it this is why I don't want to watch that newlyweds show it's just gross yeah well what was surprising was then as Terry was sort of trying to take um accountability and said well I did say some mean things and I'm like Terry shut up you didn't say anything mean then he's like well uh I got pretty angry and I threw around the D-word divorce and that was actually shocking to me I was surprised like I can't believe this went down that path clearly after the cameras stopped rolling were you shocked by that Ronnie I'm laughing that there is a fire truck or whatever because Robert on our Facebook was like where do you guys live there's always an ambulance in the background I live in listen people know where I live I live across the street from MJ and down the street from Ashley of course there are sirens I live in the ghetto yeah MJ is choking on a slider right now let's just keep going on like nothing's happening the firemen are going in there and they're going to see a scene from seven gluttony slop and yeah what's a masturbating one all at one yeah all in one all in one all in that one condo oh so what were you talking about oh the Terry thing and well there's another reason there's another reason that whole thing was faked because everyone was kind of trying to let it go and move on and he was like no no let's talk about how I threatened to leave heaven and then it turns into the most awkward dinner party ever because they don't only say we're having problems we're trying to work past it which would be awkward enough they start talking about every detail of it at dinner forever the whole dinner and then of course couples don't do that no one cares and then of course heather gets mad at Terry for talking about it so like the problem creates a problem about the problem well after she was talking about it yeah exactly exactly so gross they're both so gross and then how it ends was these like baby i'm sorry are you mad at me she's like well Terry i'd rather would have not talked about it in front of everybody after i just talked about it for an hour i didn't want to talk about it more in front of everybody and he's like babe i'm so sorry she's like here's the deal i'm going to do hot and cleveland and it's going to be about me and then we can get back to this i really wanted him to be like please don't leave the kids with me hot hot and cleveland has never gotten so much amazing publicity i know i know i don't want to watch so more than i have after these past two weeks oh my god and you know about valerie britanelli was like really we have to have a reality show in here i'm valerie britanelli i'm a class act all right hey what did we see about valerie britanelli in the ross she was selling something was on the clearance racket ross which is really sad it's like pillows or something the valerie britanelli collection yeah and i just remember thinking wow this is where you officially come for your comeback ross the ross clearance rack valerie britanelli you've made it yeah she has she really has made it back to clearance girl back to clearance um so the episode eventually ended with oh it didn't really end but but basically the climax will is uh tamara and biggie bickering at the uh at the valerie stand where tamara called biggie a bitch and then they said they compared you they were like oh i don't even remember you know i'm brain just melted right now i'm sorry well Natalie yeah i you don't perform no you don't perform yeah cameras like i'm going to confront biggie about the wine wines by wives because she's leaving early well biggie did get trashed and stayed there all day why does she need to sit around and listen to more heathers i would leave too but i think it's like that housewives of atlanta thing where they're like well if i had to be a work all day you had to be a work all day you know it's like there there there Vicki goes shirking her duties as a housewife um but on our facebook Natalie from the drunk housewives of of uh sat the San Fernando Valley told us that she left the wine tasting because she was catching dinner in a show which was the same mind that we went to see that show and saw Vicki which explains why Vicki looked so fucked up and out of it because she'd been drinking wine all day and dealing with Tamara and she was not with 13 family members or whatever she said she was last night she's like it's a very important event with 13 family members so you know someone's having a baby right now we planned it three months ago blah blah blah whatever it was a bitch was drunk with two little ass kissing gays yeah she was totally true and and now we know why her face looks janked up too it was like everything has makes sense now life life has clarity to it once again well we didn't we knew that it was janky but we thought it was because we'd never seen her in person like we didn't understand we thought that all people on tv just scary or up close in real life right and you know what god bless you Vicki if if anybody tells you that someone was saying this about you online don't do anything else to your face you're beautiful in your own little Vicki special way that i never want to have sex with anyway please don't touch your face anymore you're wonderful the way you are okay there's a backhanded hug yeah absolutely well well stated well stated yeah there's a reverse hug for you just please please don't hurt yourself we can't all be vanna white okay Vicki just love yourself um can we should we move on to um married to medicine yes please yes please all right so this episode i'm just gonna give the quick rundown of the big plot points which was that Kerry and Mariah made up and then they all went on a wine tour this is more wine and then basically Toya and Mariah made up but here's the thing for me the episode was all about a moment that happened in the very beginning of the episode when Kerry's kids were stuffing presents and Kerry tells us i want to expose our children to poverty to me the episode who just ended right there that's all i needed my children from a very privileged lifestyle and i want them to see poverty so you kind of think that like Kerry's gonna take them to like the ghetto or the hood all she does is have them like uh put a bunch of slinkies in boxes and send them off to poor people i don't know how that's really exposing them to poverty yeah she's like put this in a box put tape on it and poor people will get it i've taught you so much dealing with poor people is a personal struggle that i've had for 20 years i've spoken to Duncan about it and he understands i do not like poor people and i don't like them in my house we do not throw parties with poor people back when i was not eating i would see a poor person and they would tell me i'm hungry and i would say get in line no one's hungrier than me poor person and i meant that literally because i'd point them to a soup kitchen where there was a line and i was being very charitable by doing that i would never get in that soup kitchen line because it was beyond poor people's soup is very high in calories i have had issues with lines since i was a child i put together this soup kitchen without the help of any party planner that was glass in the soup i sent an invoice to every single homeless person to pay power because if they thought that we're going to come and eat my soup for free they are mistaken oh what is with that whole makeup scene when okay i love it that first of all that dumb white bitch what's her name carry i love the dumb bitch carry is at a modeling event that she's in she's she's performing as a model somewhere it's not a modeling event what was it she hired people to take pictures of her for dunking and she went to some ghetto estudio where if you look at the background all like the like the glamour shots that have been taken there are all like ratchet glamour shots i know it's like where poor show went to try out her baps look before she decided you know what i don't think i'm gonna work with you she's like i would have done this somewhere better but i was researching on my iphone three and the internet takes five days to load so i took the first address that came up and ended up here i now have issues i wanted to expose my children to poverty but there was a mix-up and i accidentally sent my children to her studio in new york city and i'm here in this ratchet studio next to bar one in atlanta so she was there getting pictures taken for herself that's how that i was doing pull-ups during that time and by that i mean going oh wow that's what i was doing during the scene so i didn't get what she was doing i was making that noise also and i wasn't even doing pull-ups this show just makes me do that but listening to her describe it like well i'm glad miss kara invited me to come see her her muslin vent that's all i heard and i was like oh lord here we go so mariah yeah here comes mariah with her what are you what paper thing are you talking about no no that was a mistake there was no paper all done okay oh no that's toya yeah sorry i started my toya yeah i tried to do mariah i can do when i watch the show i can do mariah but i'm not watching the show it's automatically i'm just all toya all she's very eye rolling so like if you could see our eye rolls we could do it better i think she's more kwadi but she tries to be kwad but she can't quite get there i i love kwad in fact i actually um i took a uh a sound bite of kwad this week and i think it's very special why don't i share it right now ready go ahead i'd love to hear it oh here here it comes so you know every time i do this the frickin iPhone you know can they fix their their voice memo technology why is it every single time i do a podcast and i queue up a sound bite dead silence okay here we go again here we go again kwad i don't know what what does she say she goes wait a minute baby wait a minute what were they even talking about it that part is this we're in the limo well they were they were in the limo drunk she'll look at dr jackie's uh provocative photos so in that maria you know i want to put that sound inside a teddy bear and when you touch the teddy bear's paw it makes quietness me slapping honey kickin and me slapping absolutely not absolutely not um so that's seen with maria and carry at the modeling event i love that maria is insisting over and over that she never took money out of paypal and then she carried whips out the papers again and put them right in her face and she's like no no no she's like well then why did you take the money back she said i did i did take the money back i did because i thought we had paid enough what does that mean you paid enough like was this an additional twelve hundred dollars that you paid did you pay enough by being embarrassed by your behavior and now getting kicked out like what what have you paid please learn to talk people on these shows it's like reading the scrolling pictures that cavemen drew in the caves it really is evidently she paid for one tier of a cake because that's all they got at the party if you remember and that's perhaps enough yeah she's like i already paid five dollars for that sheet cake that was sent over from abbinsons oh she worked for her sheet cake and you got it she works she works oh miss perry got her sheet cake and if she want two more tiers she don't have to pay for paypal herself because she already she paid she paid that is ridiculous that whole thing was ridiculous and i don't even know how they made up but they were just like okay that well this is done you're like let's uh we can't do this anymore let's just look they're like look at what this what this fight has brought us to crying together in a studio full of ratchet photos yeah let's just make up to castle making all that was the worst dumbest makeup i ever saw and then well not the dumbest because the show even topped itself in the dumb makeup category yeah um so what else happened in this episode so they go so they go wine tasting and basically mariah's being a total bishop toyer the entire time and toyer the entire time is like what i have came here for some one i want to i want to try some you know gregio and i want to try some i want to try some merlot and uh uh i want to i i have came to to really educate myself about so many flavors can i go hold her cup can i go uh thank you do you don't have to tell me how to hold a cup okay i feel like i'm i'm turning her into like a mobster by the way i think someone said i sound like marlin brando when i do it but you know that that's the way toyer sounds listen to her um la troya does she she yeah she's like a mobster with a cold yeah yeah and then um the the husbands all got together and aden who is like bangladeshi and sort of wants to be black was like he's like yo man he's like no it is what it is it is what it is we're just gonna move forward you know hey uh we got good reception down here you know hey that's it we move forward we move forward so it's like the bro way of handling things no well he was he was a big woman and you could tell that he's married to crazy because every husband has to stick up for their wife which this is why you don't marry crazy bitches you guys this is why every man who's who's gonna get married needs to watch housewives because you do not want to marry a crazy bitch okay absolutely he's just as ridiculous as she is i can't believe he didn't say i'm sorry my wife had a fucking cow at your party he's almost wig off broke glass in the pool i was mortified i can't believe we had to get kicked out of your house i'm so embarrassed that that even happened and that we have to talk about it again on national tv exactly and you know dunkin he was great he came and he's like listen you know what i was thinking about it i really handled that wrong i should have handled in many different ways i'm really sorry he came in very apologetic taking ownership of his side of it but uh aden just sort of like sat there and stared at his toes and looked at his phone and then of Eugene he i don't think Eugene even knew what was going on you know he was sort of dressed like um a power ranger to begin with and so i don't think he knew where he was i think he thought he was at kamakan well he was he was wearing that hat he had to be going somewhere other than just the guy's house yeah um yeah that was that was ridiculous they gave him they apologized that was the nicest apology i ever heard and then for him to refuse to apologize because he knows crazy bitch is gonna see it on tv and be mad that he was actually being nice to people who kicked them out of the house you deserve to get kicked out of the house be you should be a little more grovely and less fucking obnoxious yeah and let's also let's look at the age difference here and clearly dunkin is by the way i've got like the cast of sons of anarchy outside my window here right now yeah clearly dunkin is way more established in the medical field he's older he's been around longer this is a superior to these guys uh they need to get his act together yeah it doesn't it seem like he would be married to jackie you he would think because they're classy because they're classy yeah and they could be like the hostables together like very hostible together well someone has stolen her fertility and that's somewhat cancer god why am i laughing at that i know it's not funny at all but i just i don't know i i don't i like jackie's the best she will never be back on the show because she's way too classy although those photos of her in a bikini were a little were a little against type yes well you know every every christian's a murderer first like every christian's a whore first you you hit rock bottom before you become a true christian ask anyone on death row yeah and christians i'm semi-christian i was raised semi-christian so please don't send me hate mail because christians don't do that yeah i don't know why being made of christians i was actually looking at something to publish a recap online and i heard myself saying some mean christian things sorry i think it's just because it's mother's day so i'm just getting mom revenge yeah so anyway um jackie baba husband's house pathetic toya toya mariah made it up that's the that's the big thing eventually enough was enough toya went and she apologized you know she and mariah accepted it and seemed like every for the moment it seems like everything's okay yeah um which was ridiculous because why do you need to apologize okay yes i told my hairdresser that your child was adopted but everybody knows your child is adopted and how long have you been married to this guy why wouldn't you just tell her in the first place that she it that's just stupid i agree but you know i guess whatever i don't know i'm sorry that those are my thoughts quad was the best she hung out with some other friends and she got pizza and oh yeah i love that she they stopped at little seizures to get their five dollars hot and ready i was like you you guys need to keep it classy on this show with your rented handicap person bus well you know quad went to bar speaking bar one quad went to bar one with her friends which was sort of sad i'm shocked that peter didn't like pop up in background and wave at the camera um look you know do you hear what i'm doing um slowly dying no i'm sending out i'm sent i'm emailing um jesus saying i'm sorry for the question thing is it so yeah bar one so is that beat peter's bar i forgot yeah that's peter's bar how's that still open uh i don't know apparently no one told the health officials that it exists because clearly the moment they step in that thing is getting shut down uh so are we done with married to medicine because that's so i'm going to kiss my ass kind of i kind of enjoyed it but i still kind of hate i actually love it i love it but the thing is we talked about orange county so much that i lost my steam and i'm like i just couldn't and marriage medicine was so long ago i didn't take notes so i'm just like yeah and i'm not helpful because when i start staring at walls usually matt's here to be like oh and this happened and i could just zone out for a bit this is the part of the podcast where we kind of zone out or we start talk on autopilot but matt gets like really feisty and starts like he's like really talking and we just sort of let him carry it to the end he starts telling people off well let me tell a side story and i'll explain kind of why i'm in a weird mood and podcast today because i will save up shows usually that people tell me are good and i i won't watch them for a couple of years and then i'll just watch them all in one night on on tv like on the internet or whatever and i did that this weekend with the television show the newsroom on HBO have you watched a show i heard it's good well it's like erin sortkin like bloviating like we're so smart you know it's like one of his everything is so outback and like violin like really deep action movie like violin music plays for stupid things you know like get the file across the room it's like don't don't let's kind of stupid but the the main guy is a newscaster and he's going he's kind of a whore and he's going on all these different dates and he goes on a date with a gossip columnist and basically tells her off for being so pathetic to care about these stupid things she's going to be doing an article on one of the housewives of new jersey and he's basically like you know you're feeding people complete trash and they don't know what's going on in the world and your your job is shit and my job is saving the world and then he goes on another date and he starts telling this woman about that date and she's like oh my god tell me what the story was about the new the real housewife in new jersey she's a real bitch and you know she didn't invite some of the gay night and and it was funny you know because they were making real housewives jokes and stuff but it really made me feel stupid for watching the real housewives i was like oh my god jeff dannell's is right i'm a loser i'm pathetic why am i watching this stuff i should be else doing something informing the american public and instead here i am watching married and medicine and caring about vicky gongles and stupid fake vodka line i need to do something with my life and then i got high and that all those ambitions went away again and that includes that and that concludes the walk for crappins analysis of newsroom yeah that was my news thank you everyone thank you for coming listening let's go let's get a million dollar list listing new york which had its premiere this week um you're the only people i've talked to this week i had to get it off my chest hey listen i didn't interrupt or anything i just let you i let you go that's even worse um i thought about things like sharia's berries and a million dollar shape club i mean whatever because you imagine million dollar shape up shape okay so anyway this is the first first time i've watched a million dollar listing new york um i don't like it as much as l_a_ i think that everyone's kind of awful i really don't like there's no way for me to get into this show like l_a_ i kind of look josh allman is like an asshole but i kind of like him and then josh is sort of like a nice guy and madison's just like an idiot but these guys frederick is awful the only thing i like about frederick is his accent and how he can't certain words like he's like guess what i'm getting murdered i'm getting murdered yeah i love that i'm getting murdered well actually watch your tongue because frederick is the most popular one i mean people love him and the other big thing you need to know about him is he is an ex-gay porn star oh i know that i know that you recognize him i actually i would not have recognized him because he looks different than when he was in porn but obviously it was it was in all the gossip and all the news that he was in porn but the thing that i think is funny is if we fast forward to later in the episode frederick is showing this huge huge like mansion in the city uh and he has this open house thing and this guy ryan this asshole ryan he jumps in the pool and frederick gets embarrassed and he frederick goes and confronts him he's like he's like don't you know how embarrassing that was for me and then it's like listen frederick you can't talk about being embarrassed okay i would be more embarrassed if my realtor started a movie called training camp too then that's embarrassing okay that's embarrassing oh i'm selling like a 30 million dollar mansion and i've got a porn star doing it well actually i would have more respect for ryan if that is what he said because he doesn't say that he says the most he's he treats he treats uh frederick with as much disrespect as he treats women like he's very douchey to women and to gay men he's not like that with straight guys with the straight guys he's like bro yeah bro yeah totally get it but it's also so put on like it really feels like he's really trying to make a splash as a villain and it just it feels fake and you know what by the way ryan you want to be a ladies man here's a way to be a ladies man don't start a bravo tv show okay that'll make you a little bit more masculine yeah that guy if that guy was as hot as he thought he would is as much as he thought he would was god damn it newsroom i am stupid if that guy was as hot as he thought he was he would actually sell as much real estate as he claims to sell because these n-words are talking about selling millions and 30 million dollars this bullshit you were on some bravo show and you live in a tiny apartment police yeah at least a Puerto Rican has the truthfulness to show that he sleeps on an ikea bed and has a giant ikea mirror the Puerto Rican guy oh my god he drove me nuts oh my god it's like a ratio alger's story gone way wrong i hate and i think i've talked about this when we talked about moricio on real housewives of Beverly Hills and i have to say my father is in real estate so i'm not talking about you dad not that you're ever listening to this gay ass show i do but i just have to say i hate real estate people because they are sales men they i hate salespeople i do not like being sprayed with things when i walk into the mall i do not like trying to walk from like clairs boutique to the apple store and have someone up my ass trying to sell me a remote controlled helicopter or a pair of sunglasses that don't fit or one of those windmill things it like is like a mirage when the wind hits it i don't want that shit stop coming up you know what i bought pumice cream from a lady outside the grove because she was so persistent i finally bought cream to like make my feet look prettier i got friend Flint stone feet fuck you salespeople i hate salespeople and that's why i hate this show i tried watching it too i watch the whole thing because i know people on our facebook we're asking us to so i did i can't i just can't do it i can't it's pretty bad and and when when a show gets to the point where they're asking us to believe that there is a fashion show during fashion week where some designer has asked the top realtors in the city to walk the runway i mean i just have to call bullshit there's no way that that is a thing that happens no that is not a real thing and then when he was walking i loved when they showed him what uh this is ryan now walking down the runway i love when they show him walking and it's the most awkward yeah non-model it was so up he was so nervous he has no presence and he is not cute it looked like middle age sad nervous white guy and i thought i cannot wait for him to see this on oh he's probably jerking off to himself on tv but gross and he his first scene was him in the shower in a butt shot which oh yeah there's full bun full butt not that i'm complaining about buts but it's just so it's just so sad and needy that's so i just know no to this guy i don't it's not i think uh million dollar listing LA is a lot more interesting yeah we know all these shows are faked but they're better actors on the other show i mean million dollar listing New York they are uh Frederick is the he's a porn actor like you could tell he learned to act in porn he is so but he's like i have for matters you i'm very sure now look at my face i put so much eyeliner to show how mad i am at you plus plus he shows up at every listing with a pizza and it's like uh pizza is here you ordered a pizza right oh well i guess if you don't have any money i guess we can forget something else it's like i don't do this in a real state listing i have a girlfriend um yeah we're gonna get mered get a mered okay you talk me into it i try it out with the gay oh does this this house this plumbing doesn't work let me go try to fix the plumbing under the sink oh no i sprayed all over my shirt last year they had um this little Nevishijoo guy who was the best i wish you would watch it last year because he made it worth it he his dad ran a real estate company so he worked for his dad of course and he was just completely inept he couldn't do anything he had a sweating problem so he had to like get Botox on a sweat gland so he wouldn't sweat and he was basically he was basically Rick Moranis like a younger version of Rick Moranis he was so cute and so inept is so hilarious i wish he was back because he made it more fun but these guys i just can't it's like fake drama i don't care about if you guys want to watch a real real estate so you need to get yourself over to the hg tv network and watch some selling la selling new york i mean these are real people so you don't want to fuck any of them but they're you really get to see gorgeous real estate and that's actually where marissa um what's her buns from Beverly Hills that's where i knew her from with selling la so what's those shows because you actually get to see gorgeous homes and they're not like stupid f-words like faking it for the camera you do not get to see uh mediocre ass though yeah uh well anyway i'm done ronnie i have nothing about to say about bravo or any of these idiots i'm tough out the weather is too nice i feel like it's because i it's because i talked about newsroom and now you're mad oh no listen listen ronnie that is the least of my issues um i enjoyed your news newsroom rant i thought it was very informative whatever i would love to understand tarry i am a podcaster i am a blogger i'm sorry i'm sorry i am of the father of a dog i am someone who opens the windows every day to let the fresh air in i am someone who plugged a usb microphone into my computer today all right well i guess that's it what are we gonna watch this week is there anything new coming out on bravo um probably the same on stuff i still have to watch newlyweds so maybe we'll talk about that next week what you know what is matt gets matt has very distinct opinions about what we should be watching so we'll just let let him know you're lucky he didn't show up today because we were both supposed to watch newlyweds i did finish watching the hour and a half long episode from last week and have to say i feel so sorry for that white guy marrying the indian girl um i'm sorry i don't know their names i'm describing them in horrible stereotypical terms but um again men before you marry women watch bravo and learn not to marry crazy bitch he married a total crazy bitch he tells him off at his wedding it's not good not okay and i also want to say to people in relationships in general after watching newlyweds and uh the real housewives of Beverly Hills i don't fucking care what's happening behind closed doors i don't want to think about youtube being naked together i'm glad that you guys chose to be together i wish you the best but i don't want to hang out with you together i just want to hang out with one of you stop it you're gross you're disgusting the only people who don't think you're disgusting are you yeah stop yeah leave me alone couples gross hashtag newsroom yes hashtag even jeff daniels is less disgusting than you um even aran sorkin's armpit is less oh yeah aran sorkin wow um love your choken we're to finish the season we'll be watching tonight as well as matt okay tonight everybody this is what to watch i'm watching orphan black madman um the rest of the season of the newsroom the game of thrones i missed this week tonight i'm intelligent so suck it suck it people all right um i'm at beside blog ronnie is at tv gazim um matt would field the birthday boy cinema belated birthday wish is at life on the m list come to our facebook page facebook.com forward slash watch what crappins and leave comments there and on iTunes and listen to us on soundcloud and the side turn network and click on our ads and all that stuff so much so much basically just go our facebook because all the other stuff we post um everywhere else it's worth it like me so i did a photocop of real housewives of orange county i do redubs for these stupid shows so we post all that good stuff on our facebook page so if you want anything additional kamauva kamauva all right well this is fun ronnie yeah that was fun okay bye i love you i mean if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the side show network of launch the new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts Todd glass buys a slice finger slicing drab and friends with it for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and 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