1st Annual Crappy Awards!
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#54: 1st Annual Crappy Awards!
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The jewelers at bluenile.com have sparkle down to a science with beautiful lab-grown diamonds worthy of your most brilliant moments. Their lab-grown diamonds are independently graded and guaranteed identical to natural diamonds, and ready to ship to your door. Get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more with code audio at bluenile.com. That's bluenile.com code audio for $50 off. Welcome to the first annual drop-me-a-board. Please welcome your hosts, Johnny Caron from TVGazzle.com. You can follow @TVGazzle.com. Ben Mavour, from B-Side blog. You can follow @B-Side blog and not get filled. You can follow @lifeontheandlift, from Yahoo! Welcome boys and enjoy the show! Thank you so much. This is just a wonderful... This is amazing. A wonderful event. It's, you know, you guys are looking great in your tuxedos. Oh, thank you, you too. Thank you. We're all wearing the same thing, but we still all look so different. We really do. Matt, how does it feel to not be covering the red carpet but to be on the red carpet? You know it's really where I belong on the step and repeat and I just love being in front of all of these flashing camera bulbs. Well, Matt, how does it feel to finally be thin when you're on the red carpet? Nothing tastes better than being skinny. You look amazing and you taste delicious as well. Who are you wearing? I am wearing Skin and Bones by Joanna Krupa. Oh, she has a fantastic fashion line. I personally am wearing she by Shiree, her men's line. Yes, and I would like to give a special shout out to Shiree Whitfield. Thank you so much, Shiree, for working the red carpet for us and interviewing everyone as they came in. Having you come down from that helicopter and landing on the carpet like that was just amazing. Really, spectacular. I mean, your independence was truly established. We could have done without you chasing down Mama Elsa and making fun of her teeth, but otherwise, thanks for your time. It was great to see you again. It was great and you should lay off the craft service able because that's for the entire crew, not just for you. Yeah, you're not allowed to just take that shit home for your kid who's sleeping on the mattress on the floor. Yeah, exactly. You know you can't build Chateau Shiree out French toast sticks, right? No kidding. Stop stealing all the toilet paper out of the bathroom, Shiree. It's not going to fill the gate hole on your lawn. You know, if you take all of our M&Ms and put them on your lawn, it does not count as landscaping. Oh, gee, I'm eating M&Ms. Quinkies. Well, okay, let's get on to our first award, guys. We have a we have a great show plan and we have tons of categories. Starting off first, we have Best Bravo Old Person. And this Bravo Old Person here to present that award is Mama Elsa from Real Housewives of Miami. Hey. Oh, hi, Mama. Elsa, welcome. I feel very educated about this award. Wait, these are you old for this paper? This paper make me too feel too old. Mama Elsa has a question. What if there are the presenters later in the award show that need to read the nominees, but Mama Elsa is the only one who has the least of nominees in front of her. Oh, we do that. All these two. The electronic mail, maybe just saying the nominees to the other people on the show. I think that Mama Elsa has to email the nominees to the other to the other presenters. So one moment, you just stay here. Oh, I am getting word that there is a musical number before before the show begin. Mr. Ronnie Caram, would you please do the honors while I do the email? Hi, I'm Ronnie Caram and I'm a cabaret singer. And you might all know me from my shows around Los Angeles. And I'm glad to be here as part of the crappies to sing a medley of all the housewives numbers. On display. On display. On display. Yeah. I'm on display. Money can't buy you class. Googled me. Googled me. She said to be on the wall. Am I missing one? No, beautiful haters. The ring didn't mean a thing. Wait a second. I refuse to do this unless Ramona will appear in the video of this. Nope. Okay, the song's over. I'm done. I'm out. That was actually Luan talking right there. You can't tell the difference between Ronnie and Luan. Because she sounds like a man. What can she do? Nothing. What can she do? Sorry, Carol Razzewell. Thank you for joining us. Can somebody say my name is it my turn to present? Not yet. All right. Well, I think we're ready for our first category yet again. And I'm happy to I'm happy to announce that all the presenters now have a copy of the categories and the nominees in their email boxes. Okay, well, someone bring Mama Elsa back here. I'm back. I passed out in a chair. Okay, the nominees for best bravo old person. And he Mama and Sam. I love her. I love her. Hey, uh, Karen's mother from real housewife of Miami. I hate you. Yo, she's grandma for million dollar listing Los Angeles. No voice for her. She know it. Just one. Then just one in the Holocaust. It was different. Lenny's, Lenny's mom from real housewife of Miami. What are you going to get married already? What are you doing with this woman? Lenny. Mama, your is for real housewife of Atlanta. Hey, that ain't right. Candy. That ain't right. You put in the man's penis and my face in the body. That ain't right. Can we? And that is often nominees because I just learned that the two last nominees have been moved to the next category. And the winner for best bravo old person is me, Mama Elsa. Congratulations to you. I can't. I agree. I think this was a wonderful choice. I think a mom Elsa is above and beyond the best old old person on bravo or perhaps even on TV. If anything else, um, you know, if nothing else, you get to hear my parents talk about how his face is for an entire hour. If every time she comes home, my, my, my dad was like, Ben, can you just fast forward, please? I can't even look. He wasn't even making a joke. He was like, he literally wants me to pass towards two upsetting. Yeah, he couldn't deal. I was like, no, but she's the best part of the show. Oh my God. Okay, let's move on to our next award. Matt. Oh, sorry. No, you go ahead, you go. I was going to let Matt present a worst old person since I figured why not go on and we're a stalled person because we just had best old person. Yes, we now have worst old person. Do you have the nominees in front of you, by the way? Um, you know, I do have the nominees in front of you. I remember two, two of the last two from the previous category have been moved into this category. It's a very professional award show, everyone. It is more professional than the really awards, which I actually attended. And I was also a judge on that. That shows how unprofessional the really awards were. I was also at the the Bravo A list awards and I'll be honest with you. This is way more formal. Anyway, the nominees for worst old person are Thomas Kramer, Real Housewives of Miami. I was expecting Thomas Kramer to say something about it. I cannot believe, I cannot believe, I have a job. Bring down, sit down, now sit up. This is what I want. Sit down, shut up, and leave. The second nominee is MJ's mom from the Shahs of Sunset. What you do is to drink away and cry. Oh, you do. That is it. If you drink, drink away and cry, you'll have a husband by now. That's it. Shut up. You are fat than a fish in a bowl with too much food. Shut up. The third nominee is Aviva's father from the Real Housewives of New York City. Hey, give me a squirting orgasm if you give me a bite of your giant sausage. The fourth nominee is Vicki Gunvelson, the original housewife. The Real Housewives of Orange County. Oh, this is a good category. I really don't know who's going. I don't know who's going to win. The last nominee in the category is Ramona Singer from the Real Housewives of New York City. I'm renewed. I'm feeling so renewed. You renewed. I'm renewed. I'm feeling renewed. Why did you talk to me like that? That was like verbally raping me right now. What you did was verbally hold on. Hold on, Ramona. I have to open the on these open the envelope. First annual crappy award for worst old person is Ramona Singer. You say I'm old. I've been renewed. I've renewed myself. I've got renewal. I've renewed myself. I'm like the Real Housewives of New York. I've been renewed. You know, I mean, Ramona is she is a worst. Well, it's interesting. She's a terrible person. But if we're looking at worst, like old people, like in terms of like, like typical, scratchy old people, things that they do, a people's dad might be up there or MJ's mom is pretty like just downright evil. Are you hitting me? I mean, those people are evil and disgusting. But Ramona is evil and disgusting. Yeah, I think Ramona is like the worst person ever. It's so weird. She's like the worst person, but she's not the worst old person. That makes sense. I don't know. If you want to pretend that she's not old, you you crazy. No, I think she's yeah, you're right. You're right. Okay, I'm down this that it was awarded properly. These awards have been right on the money so far. Two for two. I will say there was a missing nominee from best old person. Who? Slades mom. Oh, you know, you're right. Oh, that's right. When she regulated him and she was like, um, bitch, can you get a job because you are a money grubbing, Poe person? Well, remember that as a cohost of the the cohost and judge of our awards show, you're you're more than welcome to entry in a last minute nominee as it see as you see fits. Just thank you. Those are the rules. The Golden Crappies. You guys just as a side note, I think my mom's making tacos. That's not them from here. It's the after party. It's the Golden Crappies after party. Oh, hamburger, helper catered by hamburger, health, ronda. Okay. So the next award goes to the worst Real Housewives child here to present the award is Melania from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Welcome, Melania. It's just stiffer. You're ugly ugly. Wow. Melania has some very serious thoughts. Melania, Lauren. Lauren who? Use your words, Melania. Man, the fat lady, the fat lady who eats all our eggs. That'll be Lauren Manzo. Yeah. The one who plays the piano on the Real Housewives of Miami. Oh, that kid. He's a good kid. And what about what about Ashley from New Jersey? Your cousin Ash. Oh, no, not cousin, but Ashley, Jacqueline, the daughter. Ashley from New Jersey. And what about what about? Does a Viva count as worst child or no? I hate this. I'm leaving. Bye. So no one won that award. No, I think, no, I think I think the winner, if I had to guess, I would say the winner of worst child would be Lauren Manzo. I would say Lauren. Lauren Manzo in a landslide and by landslide, I mean food slide. Or or I like to call it a Lauren slide. Or as I'd like to call it Lauren after eating egg salad in the cat face bathroom. You know that she's got to have really become terrible if she beat Ashley, because Ashley is pretty much always going to be the worst child. Ashley is horrible, but like Ashley didn't have a choice almost, you know, I feel like Ashley was born like that. And Lauren's really cultivated a terrible personality over the years. Yeah, Ashley grew up with us. Ashley grew up with a stripper mother who was a gold digger. And you know, she lucked out that she was able, you know, able to get herself off the street. Lauren Manzo has had a silver spoon with, you know, two extra silvers, boons and extra helpings in her mouth from birth. So the fact that she's such a bitch is not that doesn't fly. Yeah, and at least at the very least, at least Ashley, I mean, at least she moved out of New Jersey. Of course, she is now directly in between me and Matt on our street. We always forget that she's also our neighbor. We have MJ and we have Ashley, we should have like, we should have like best neighbor, you know, your best neighbor is you and your best neighbor is me. Those that's right. Don't get any of us. We also have sugar from survivor to, I believe, but Mike, the Miz Manzini or whatever, from real world slash WWE. He looks proud to say he looks down. So I'm like five blocks away from you guys. I have a much class here in neighborhood. Wow. Well, actually, because you're near the Whole Foods and we're near like a strip club. Pretty much. No, mine, mine got classed up because there's I believe there's someone from Homeland in my building, so we got real classy up at her now. You better watch out. You better get a bomb sniffing dog up in there. I know that's a terrorist up in there. Okay. Our next award is for the breast best Bravo Gay and that will be presented by Reza. Oh my God, I'm already here. Oh my God. Best Bravo Gay. That is like so gay. Like Persians have awards too. But like, this is like such a gay award. Oh my God. So let me go through the best Bravo gays. Um, one is a Rosie from Real Housewives of New Jersey as the best Bravo gay. She home girl needs to calm down. I mean, like, she's not going to get any work done if she's screaming like that. Next is me Reza from Shahza sunset. Like, obviously. That's so Persian. That's so Persian that I'm like a nominee. Uh, then Lauren Foster, the catty British gay tranny from Real Housewives of Miami who's on I don't care what he said. He told me that he wasn't going to be a walking cat. Who would want to hire that title drag queen? He's seven foot tall, a bad taste. Seven feet of terrible taste. Fuck him. Buckha. Yes. And now also Alex from Gallery Girls. I totally rented you a place and I'm totally going to get your art show off the ground, except that I didn't rent a place. I'm totally not getting your art show off the ground. Sorry. Go. Go. And then last, we have Lawrence from Atlanta. Give me a break. I could use it trying to make it to the top. Yes. So he loves nail Carter and he loves this. She loves the mid 80s sitcom. Give me a break. That's great. That's so that's so Persian. Like, what about the poor fish? That poor fish was just trying to swim in his tank and then a vacuum cleaner came in there and took the fish away. And like, how did that not break the vacuum cleaner? Like, no vacuum cleaner that I know can go into water unless there's diamond water. I got to ask my home girl. I said about that. A person vacuum cleaner would have broken. Okay. So not Persian. Okay. I need my envelope. Is my envelope ready? I'm tearing. I'm tearing open the envelope right now. Do do do do do do. I ripped it. I ripped it. I ripped it open. Our envelopes are FedEx packages. They're huge. I'm the winner for Best Bravo Gay. Oh my god. I'm so mad. It's not me. It's Rosie from Real House House New Jersey. Oh my god. Oh my god. My dad. My dad. Congratulations Rosie. Oh, great job Rosie. Do you guys all agree with that selection? Yeah. I mean, the only other gays I think that we saw this year were Dina and Caroline's gay brother, you know, making out at that wedding, but they're kind of boring. So forget them. We're sort of dumb. We should have had a worst gay category. That would have made a lot of sense. There were some terrible gays. Ronnie, you're very quiet all of a sudden. I am? Or maybe it's my maybe my headphones. I'm sorry. I've got all the headphones. I was kind of letting my mic droop a little bit because I was just getting too comfortable with this whole thing. Got some got some droopy, droopy mic issue going on. Yeah, I had some drooping mic. Those are the worst gays ever. The bravo gays are the worst gays ever. And it's a gay channel. Yeah, I think you just find better gays around, you know, great people. All right, channels. Ronnie, why don't you present the next award? This is a big one. This is one of our major awards. So, why don't you give us the crappy for best bravo liberty? There's there's a few that are missing from that category, but go ahead and then we'll chime in and fight about later. Please do, please do. Okay, best bravo liberty. We have Lisa Vanderpomm from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Yes, darling. Thank you, darling. Spin off, darling. Sweetie, darling. Clear. Clear the old person, sweetie. I want surfaces. I want clear surfaces. And we have Leah Black from Real House So, I just said the same thing you did. I mean, Leah Black said the same thing. And we have, um, okay, and we have Kathy Wokele from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Rich and I really like making canoles and Teresa's really mean to me. And we have Carol Rydswell from Real Housewives of New York. I guess I'm part of the 99% now. Am I allowed to say about fucking Liz from Gallery Girls. I got her steps on my thing. Someone. Oh my god. One of these Asians steps on my time. They tell them I think I can't believe an Asian step to my copy. Oh my god. Catherine Ireland and Mary McDonald from Million Dollar Decorators. I'm not even gonna try to do their voices. I thought that I could maybe you gathered Ireland, Mary McDonald. I'm like, I'll get sent me my vagina darling. Exactly. Exactly. You're not gonna seriously do that. I don't know. Girls Simmons from Top Chef. And wait, we have some, uh, some last-minute entries, Matthews. Excuse me. No one has a Gail Simmons. I know. I think he's like, I think the Gail Simmons, uh, conversation is these as our burnt, charred and rubbery. We want you to show some imagination when you show up. I text a few others to Ronnie. Okay, good. And we've got Kathy Griffin from the Kathy show. Oh my god, you guys. I know a celebrity allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly wig, bad wig, bad wig, bad wig. And speaking of bad wigs, we've got Jeff Lewis. Hmm, good one. From flipping out. Um, you're a piece of crap and you talked about me in a box and we can no longer be friends. Uh, the only person who's ever gonna truly love me is my maid because I pay her. And the winner for best Bravo Liberty Eagles, too. Is there an envelope? Is there an envelope? There is. You want me to rip the envelope? Always, always with the envelope. Here we go, ripping. Wow. And I just ripped one of my paint samples in half. Kim Richards from, whoa. I thought I could never be here with it. Hey, everybody. I want to say thank you for giving me the schoolwork. When I was first asked to ask of Jaws, I said, what? Sharks are scary. The maid told me it's not real. But I'll tell you what, I every day on that boat, I thought I was gonna die. But I didn't die. And here I am now. Jaws didn't kill me. I got an Oscar and I'm nominated for a Grammy for best song for Donna. Donna, Donna, thank you. That was great. I love Kim. So glad that she's not sober. Okay, and for this award, we're gonna turn this over to Matt Whitfield for Worst Bravo Liberty. This is a big category, you guys, and we have 10 nominees. Prepare yourselves. This is a big, big category, and maybe the most important category of the evening. Now, by the way, are nominees before we start this, I just would like to say that we are, we've only gone through a few categories, and like most award shows, I can sense we're going long. So we may need to, we may have to ask the special guest to stand as the wings for the fitness category. Right, I think on this one, just the winner, maybe the only one to speak. Yes. So, the nominees for Worst Bravo Liberty are Ramona Singer, the Real Housewives of New York City, Aviva Drescher, the Real Housewives of New York City, Caroline Manzo, the Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa Judice, the Real Housewives of New Jersey, Nini Leaks, the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim Zolciak, the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Tamra Barney, the Real Housewives of Orange County, Bethany Frankel, New Divorcez, Andy Cohen, host of Watch What Happens, and Adrian Maloof, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Can I get a drum roll please? The winner of The Worst Bravo Liberty is... Andy Cohen, Watch What Happens, Five. You did it. You got the crappy for Worst Bravo Liberty. You did it. Congratulations. Let me tell you, you know, everyone's like raving about his, you know, appearance on Jay Moore's podcast, but at the end of the day, Andy Cohen is a misogynist, sexist, egotistical, fame-hungry bitch. And if he wants us on his show, we'll be more than happy to go on. Look, I have applied to be the bartender on Watch What Happens Live. I actually submitted an official application, and I said, look, we worship at the altar of all of your shows, and they didn't even pick me to be the fucking bartender? How dare he? How does one apply to be a bartender on that? They were doing a special-like thing a few months ago, and you could apply online at bravo.com, and I went jump through the hoops and did it. Wow. You know, I was, I thought for sure that Tamara Barney might have been the one, the name you would have read, or Aviva Drescher. They must have split the vote. They must have split the vote. I think all the women in the category split the vote, and that's why the only man rose to the top and was able to take the category. That's most they do. I think that it's because we're the only three people I've ever met who don't like him. Or actually, maybe two, because Ben does kind of, do you like him, Ben, right? I mean, I like, I like, ask, I don't hate him as much as you guys do. I mean, there are things he does that really annoy me, and when I watched his show recently, and he had Julie Chen and Camille Grammer looking at crotches, it's, it's, and deciding he was a man. Okay, Ben, I thought that was so immature, I was ridiculous. But his show, all they do, on Watch What Happens Live and On The Reunions, again, Andy never asks the right questions. He has A-list stars. I mean, the crazy thing is, you know, you have Ellen Barkin, you have Sarah Jessica Park, you have Kelly Ripa, these are your friends, you have them on your show, and instead of really talking about the shows that we all care about way too much, you play dumb games like Guess The Nipple, or Who's Wearing a Fake Weave, and it's like, no, let's talk about the programs. This is what happens with any show that starts to do well. A talk show is that, at first, they might come off and be like, yeah, we're gonna get down and dirty, but then, when they start to get like, better celebrities, and they realize they can get better and better celebrities, it just goes into safe territory, because they don't want to offend anyone, and they're gonna keep it neutral and silly, and that's just what happens. That's my, that's my screed. That's my screed. Agreed, motherfuckers. Okay, let's move on to, um, best fashion statement. I already think that this should be re-titled just most remember, our most memorable fashion statement, not the best or worst, because it incorporates both. It is. Okay, who do you guys want to present this award? I think Ben. Okay, I'll present this one. Okay, so this goes to the most memorable fashion statement we've seen in the past year. Um, the nominees are Martin Lawrence Bellard's Ascot, Kim Richards Giants Bow thing that she wore. Remember, that's with the puffy bow. That was the best. That was the best. Um, uh, what do you call that diary room outfit of all times? Or was it, because then we also have Teresa Judiche's Mad Max diary room dress, her hair was big, and she's wearing the feathers. There was that. Oh, that was astounding. Uh, Amy from Gallery Girls. I don't know if you guys remember, but you'd always show up in some tragic outfit every single scene. She's like, oh, look at my face down away. She's like, look at my favorite faucet hair. Thank you. Um, and lastly, we have Brandy Glanville's, uh, fur vest. And I'd also like to say Brandy Glanville also had that thing that dress she was wearing that had like the sort of straps over her breasts. Oh, that was pretty bad. That was, but that was last year. Oh, it wasn't. Oh, yeah, you're right. It's ineligible. She's been wearing a lot of like clearly skinned pelts, lots of like a dead rabbit, followed by a dead raccoon, followed by a dead opossum. And I feel like they, they're either roadkill or from Forever 21, but I cannot tell. You got like a buy one, get five free from Zappos or some shit. Different for a vest every week. Well, this, okay. Uh, are we ready to have the unveiling? Do we have an envelope ready? And the winner, the winner for most memorable fashion statements goes to pains me to read this, because it was such a difficult, such a difficult one to come to. It was Teresa GD Chase, Mad Max dress. That thing was the craziest thing ever. That thing was crazy. I wanted to, I wanted to say Barn Lawrence, Balard's Ascot, because I wanted to bust out Martin Lawrence, Balard, but I'm sorry. Teresa, is that outfit? You think there was anything crazier than that outfit that you're on, Bravo? It was a Joe. That's my humor, Joe. Okay. The next award is best entrepreneurial endeavor. Sonia's toaster oven, Sonia's party planning business. Teresa's Fabbalini, the Maloof hoof. Gee, she's extensions. I love that. Zato Shire. Asa's diamond water. And the women. What about true faith, jewelry? Oh my God, who says that? Well, that's remote, but that's known as singer. That's not new. It's old. Okay, I have, I think to me, I think this is an easy one in a landslide. I hope, I hope it's what I -- Wait, pause. The best nominee is not on there. Which one? Lauren Mansos, Keface. Oh my God. Changes everything. Keface. This changes everything. Oh, Caroline Manzo's radio show. No. On XM radio, where she gives advice about how much she hits Teresa. What about Kathy Walkiele's frozen dessert line? Oh my God, her guy. I can only get Kathy Walkiele's can only get the way I see it. Okay, now I know it hasn't been read yet, but in my mind sitting here as an audience member, I see that this has to go to one of three -- I see it's a three-way raise between the two. You know who's going to win it? Well, to me, it's the title that lists me. I don't know. I don't know. It's two extensions. Okay, let's just open it because I don't even want to hear it, guys, because you know who's going to win it. I need to go three ways. Open the envelope. I are good. I'm good. Open it from the other side. There. That's light. Someone gets poster of it. That was a slam dunk. The other thing is, once you were -- I can't believe Keface was Monde. And once Keface made it back on, I really didn't know which one was going to be read, to be honest. It could have gone. It could have gone. It could have gone either way. You can get a facial, a massage, jelly beans, egg salad. You could put eggs. You know what you could do? You could go to Keface, get some egg salad, put it on, a cracker, put that in a toaster of it. And then host a party there. Ooh, yeah, that was like 10 businesses in one that are all going to fail. Congrats on Keface. That's great. Don't forget, Sonia loves her a sexy J. She does. And I love that we awarded something that's never going to be released. Well, I think it's an entrepreneurial endeavor, not an entrepreneurial success. Okay, okay. Now, Matthew Whitfield will be presenting the award for Worst Husband. The nominees in this category are all ugly and chunky and disgusting. And here they are. First up, we are Joe. You know, by the way, if this award show were televised, you'd be damn sure there'd be a musical number in honor of this category. You know, you get a bunch of people in bat suits doing some sort of dance and terrible dance. Billy Crystal is already speeding up. This is the point where Beyonce comes out and sings a song, but we don't have her to this year. Next year, we will. Okay, the nominees for Worst Husband are Joe Judiche, the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Mario Singer, the Real Housewives of New York City. Peter, I don't know your last name, but you're an asshole. The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Paul Nasif, Dr. Paul Nasif, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Jim Bellino, the Real Housewives of Orange County. This is a good one. The chin. And the winner is... in a landslide. Joe Judiche, the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Oh, what the fuck in the world? He's just called Bobo. Let me take care of this pun. We'll give back some fun folks, Jim. Great choice, great choice. Yeah, he was pretty bad and hopefully we'll be in jail soon. Because they're all pretty bad and, you know, Jim and Joe are really, of them all, they're just, they're real assholes and massages, but Joe is really just so slimy and dragging down an entire family. It's repugnant. Yeah, the other guys are actually nice to their wives. I think their greatest sin is enabling them to torture us more with terribleness. Yeah, well, exactly. A few of them have slipped up every once in a while. We know that Paul is really not a terrible guy. He's just been an asshole to brandy the past few weeks. So that's why he was a nominee, but that's not why he can win. Joe Judiche, this past season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, called his wife the C word, the B word, every other horrible word, including the S word and the whore word and the slut word and the fucking bitch word and all of those words. But not the E word, which is educated, go on. Right. And he was cheating on her clearly. And then when she confronts him in a cornfield, he said that he was talking to a Mexican day laborer. Yeah, it was actually, it was actually a winery, not a cornfield, but I like that imagery. It was a cornfield or a children of the corn, whatever. And then their marriage is a cornfield. Their marriage is a cornfield. It fuels bad things. It fuels bad things and bad syrups. I mean, look, there's no idea about it. You will children that run around it and try and kill you. They really are a cornfield. They're a marital cornfield. Only awful things can happen. They're rooting. They're not even real. Corn, it was a corn is a genetically made staple. It's not, corn is not a natural, even thing. And there's, you know that there's like big corn? There's big, you guys. Corn, corn is king. Okay, I think that we need to make a deal among the three of us for the rest of the show. I will agree that everybody doesn't get a full clip when they're nominated, but everybody has to have a one-word clip when they're nominated. Okay. Uh oh, uh oh, okay. All right. Okay, so Ben is now going to be presenting. Best wannabe. All right, the nominees for best wannabe are, these are, these are people who want so desperately to be on the Real Housewives, and they do everything to get in front of that camera, but they are not a cast member and they will never be. Are slayed from the Real Housewives of Orange County? This Halloween ghoul all out with Instacart, where they're hunting for the perfect costume. I'm that giant bag of candy or casting spells with eerie decor. We've got it all in one place. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus, enjoy zero-dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Offer valid for a limited time, minimum $10 per order, service fees, other fees, and additional term supply. Instacart, bringing the store to your door this Halloween. Credit Karma makes building your credit straightforward and stress-free, with help from our credit builder. Sign up today at creditkarma.com and start enhancing your financial health. Credit Karma, your partner in building a brighter financial future. Credit Builder Plan is serviced by Credit Karma Credit Builder, and requires a line of credit and savings account provided by Cross River Bank member FDIC. 10%. Dana from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. 25,000. Fay Resnick from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Morally corrupt. Sorry Matt, Matt, Matt, that's your best impersonation all year. That's a good one. Ronnie's friend Sarah from the Real Housewives of Orange County. At the fuck where I'll play Laban? By the way, how was that thing you went to? Oh my God. How was Sarah's secrets? Okay, you guys, she thinks I'm Honey Boo Boo, okay? You know, I mean not Honey Boo Boo. She thinks I'm the Honey Badger guy. Because when I started doing those voiceovers of the Real Housewives episodes, like a month later or whatever, they hired the Honey Badger guy to come on Bravo and do what he does on Bravo. And she's like, oh my God, you were so hilarious on what you did. And I was like, watch the crappings, that's our podcast. And she's like, no, watch what happens with Andy Cohen. He played your clip and it was so funny. It was so brilliant. And I was like, no, he didn't. That wasn't me. No, no, he didn't. Sorry. She was like, yeah, he said it was so bad. Slayed and Gretchen, Laban, yeah. Oh my God. This itches thought this whole time that I'm Honey Badger. So in other words, it was perfect. Oh, that is brilliant. All right, back to the category. So, so far we have Dana, Faye Resnick, Sarah from Orange County. Brooks from Real Housewives of Orange County. Trajia Kiss for a new set of teeth. And we have Dwight from Real Housewives of Atlanta. I say we have this in a dinosaur factory. All right, so wait, I have a question for my fellow judges. When we say best wannabe, is this the person that we think is like the most pathetic or it's like the most wannabe-ish like this, wanting it so hard or the one that we like the most or or it's just that that certain intangible it. How about most pathetic wannabe? Yeah, I think most pathetic wannabe is best. Okay, well in that case, do we have an envelope, Sarah? Yes, but the winner, I'm written. But the one most desperate to be on Bravo. And the winner is Slade Smiley from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Yay, well I have to say, you know, we may call him the most pathetic wannabe. Or wait, what was it? Was it the most pathetic wannabe? Yeah. But he's also the most talented wannabe because he's actually stuck around in season one. Yeah. He's found a way to come back again and again and again. But you know what though? Less and less money. Back again and again and again. You mean he's found new chicks to bang again and again. But listen, you know what though? You know what though? Dwight has been around since his first season and so is Fay. So, you know what? That's true. But they haven't been, they have not been as desperate as he has, like blatantly just screwing somebody to stay on the show and then taking your percentage of their money as his job. Well Brooks is doing pretty, was doing pretty well in that department. Yeah, until he got dumped. Bye. All right, and now our next category. Ronnie, why don't you read this one? This is for the nominees for the best newbie on Bravo this year. Our Porsche from Real Housewives of Atlanta. I'll be on that show for 265 days a year. Oh my god. Heather from Real Housewives of New York City. Hello. Carol from Real Housewives of New York City. You're long though. What happened to Carol? She got stuck in a freezer. I just got out of the walk-in freezer. I was doing research on my book. I was talking to one of the candidates. I put his brain in there just in case they figure out how the airplane crashes. Oh, you'll londa from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I drew this whole house, okay. So romantic. But me love Atlanta. And Heather from Real Housewives of Orange County. She's stuffing her mouth full of cake that has not been disrupted, pristine cake that's it's with her daughter. I was asked to fly plants. Oh, also someone corrected as her name. And I loved it. This person on her Facebook was so defensive. I love that people get so defensive on Facebook that always fucking kills me. But she's like, I know you guys hate Heather. So you won't care anyway, but her daughter's name isn't Cosette. It's Collette. Get that right because somebody really gives them a fuck. It's actually funny because we went on a big, mainly me, one of the big tangents about how she probably loved late miss so much. I actually like Heather. See, she's nominated for Best Newbie. So look, we do like her. Yeah, that's some funny shit. And she had one of my favorite lines of the year, which was, she broke the bow off my cake and ate it. Okay, and the winner for Best Newbie is... Did you run out of envelopes? I have like scraps of paper all around me. By the way, I want to fire Miss Crappy. Miss Crappy's been ushering on and off and presenting the envelope to our nominees. And now she's not even handing the envelope to Matt. Look, I have one last scrap. Here we go. Okay. Carol from Real Housewives of New York City. That's good. Carol, Carol, really. She's actually a good lady. I remember. You think all of my friends who would be appreciative if they were still alive? The end. The next award will be presented by Matthew Whitfield. And it is for Best Help. Actually, I'm inserting a new category right now that I just thought of. So here we go. Here are the categories. And we already voted. Go on. We did. It was Mirac. Gillis, how we miss most. And the nominees are... She by Sheray Whitfield, the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Camille Grammar, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Jill Zaren, the Real Housewives of New York City. Larsa Pippen, the Real Housewives of New Johnny. And Kelly Killeran Ben-Samone, the Real Housewives of New York City. Who I know who you're voting for, Matthew. And where it is. Surprisingly, Jill Zaren, the Real Housewives of New York City. Whoa. Shut up. Jill Zaren, I know that you're coming onto the stage right now to accept your award. So to give you some peace, I'll leave the stage with this. Shut the fuck up, Jill Zaren. Shut up. By the way, you know what? I think Alexia should have been on that list because she technically is not no longer a housewife. Okay, we can add her to the nominees, but she didn't win. She didn't win. We're giving you a retroactive nomination. Now, this category popped up into my mind because we did lose a lot of big names throughout the year. Sheray is not part of Atlanta anymore and there will forever be a void in my heart. Camille has been on Beverly Hills, but it's kind of like, why not just keep her as a full-time cast member because she's having more screen time than you want under? Yeah, I know. Well, you know what? Someone on Facebook had a really hilarious idea, which is that we should have had an in-memorium montage of all the people, all the fallen from Bravo. Well, that's a good idea, actually. Actually, you know what I would have nominated for in-memorium? The entire cast and the entire show of Gallery Girls. God Girls. Don't even get me started. God Girls. Right, we're going to make up our own special in-memorium award for Gallery Girls, because it's not getting a second season. Seemed with it. Okay, but now go on to the next category, too, Matt. Oh, I get to go back to back how exciting. Okay, well, the nominees for Best Help are Zoila from Flipping Out. Shut up, Jeff. Bernie, from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, he is the chef for Adrienne Maloof. Yeah, Lisa Vanderpump is a goo. Jacqueline, who works for Catherine Ireland on Million Dollar Decorators. Oh, God, you like my poofles? I like my poofles. My poofies. And, oh, my God. And then we have Frida, who works for Leah Black on the Real Housewives of Miyami. Frida! I can see balls in your hair. How fun is that? And the final nominee in the category, Slade Smiley, Real Housewives of Orange County, as the assistant with quotation marks around it, Tochen Rossi. Yes, that's good. Okay. And the winner of Best Help... Yeah! Frida! The Housewives of Miami. Yes. She's definitely the best at getting free-set. Mm-hmm. Great choice, great choice. Yeah, great choice. I'm glad I voted for her. Okay. Okay. The next award will be presented by Ben Mandelker, Best Dinner Party. All right. The nominees for Best Dinner Party are... Thomas Kramer on the Real Housewives of Miami. Sit down! Shut up, or leave! Lisa Hochstein, also for the Real Housewives of Miami. I've lost five nerf babies. Bunka... Bunka... Bunko Knight on the Real Housewives of Orange County. Hey, if I just have a have a wrap... I was trying to be that horrible gay guy, but I forgot. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, it was terrible. Yeah, terrible gay. I just had so far! I just had so far come out my nose. Sorry. That's what happened to Vicki. That's why her hair looks like that that night. Oh, okay. The Season Finale Dinner Party on the Real Housewives of Orange County. That girl raped my cake bow. And also from Real Housewives of Orange County, a Vicki's crawfish boil. I definitely... These bitches are acting like they're too classy to eat with their hands. And I believe that's it for all the good dinner parties this year. Am I missing any? I mean, was there any in New York? Yes, there was a dinner party. You've missed two dinner parties for the nominations. You should have the Real Housewives of New York City on vacation, where they're sitting outside by the pool. Yes. Oh, yeah, it's a very good one. Where some is incredibly drunk, so it was wasted. And then you might also want to include one of my personal favorites, the Real Housewives of New Jersey on their RV trip, where Caroline calls her daughter a dazzle. Yeah, an asshole while they're grilling in a parking lot. I don't know, honestly, a parking lot does count as a dinner party in the Real Housewives of New Jersey. It does. All right, do we have a girl here, please? I found a piece of paper, everyone. So don't worry, I'm in charge of ripping now. And the winner for the Best Dinner Party, Lisa Hoxstein, Real Housewives of Miami. Yeah, that was a good one. That was the first physical violence we had on the Housewives. Yeah, it was, you know, the Thomas Kramer's night came very close, but Lisa had people getting tossed into a pool, someone getting punched in the face. It was really one of the best dinner parties that's ever happened. And it was not only someone getting pushed into the pool, it was someone we hated from another reality show. It was like overdue justice for people who watched Big Brother. It's like we waited like eight years for Bo to get pushed into a pool and it finally happened. And Joe Francis was there and everyone was drunk. Everyone was crazy. And Adriana punched Joanna Crouper in the fucking face. It was amazing. Yeah, that was really good. By the way, you have to take a break. Oh, sorry, you were by the way. Having to say a retroactive nominee, even though she didn't win for help, is Daisy from Real Housewives of Miami, retroactive nominee. Oh my god, how great was that? Okay, so here is the next thing. This is kind of a side note break. The award for things that we didn't talk about in our last podcast, but we should have. Daisy getting plastic surgery on Real Housewives of Miami. Oh my god. Thank you, Miss Lisa. I look like a pizza. Adominos or a pizza hunt? That was a good line. I thought that was a good line. She looks like Papa Johns. At least she wants some little Caesars. Next is a satating Jermaine Jackson on the Shah's Sunset. Yeah, you make me some vegan food, baby. Oh, I love how you so smooth, baby. I love your dancing and your soul, baby. And what was the other thing we missed, dammit? Oh. Hey, Gianna, calling Joanna Krupa "Honey Boo Boo" during Real Housewives. And the winner. And the winner is... All right. We're terrible hope since it all be shot. The next award is for Best Fight, and that will be read by Matthew Whitfield. Okay, the nominees are Vicki Gunbelson versus Tamara Barney, Orange County Housewives, Season Finale, Aviva Drescher, versus Sonia Morgan and Ramona Singer, Battle in St. Bart's Real Housewives of New York City. Adriana, I don't know her last name, but she speaks five languages. Fighting with Joanna Krupa, Real Housewives of Miami, at Lisa Hochstein's dinner party, Gigi taking out her door knocker earrings and attacking Asa on a recent episode of "Shaws of Sunset." And then the season-long battle Upper East Side versus Brooklyn on Gallery Girl. Kargos. This is a good category. Good category, by the way. Strong, strong category, but we do have a winner. We have a winner. Do you need me to rip a net? The envelope open for you? Rip it, rip it. Ah, yes, it is Aviva versus Sonia and Ramona, Battle in St. Bart's. You are right, Frankly. Listen, the only reason why I can get behind this is being the winner is because it spanned over five episodes. But I would have thought for sure, Adriana Punching Joanna Krupa, I thought for sure. Well, that was one of some kind of... Sorry, that just won Best Dinner Party. I can't win Best Fight also. Oh, I think it's going to be like the Schindler's List of these awards. I thought, but now I'm not sure. Now I'm not sure everything changes now. Now we're getting towards the end of our awards. We've got three of them. Either way, by the way. Either way, great choice. Great choice, everyone. So it was a great fight, Aviva versus Sonia. And, you know, I kind of wanted to put, you know, I thought that Vicki versus Tamara had a chance because, you know, Gretchen gave Tamara a little charm bracelet, and now they're BFFs, and it sent Vicki off the rails. And Brianna got involved in that fight too, and Brooks too. It was good. And that all happened around the cake, but it was great. I would like to suggest a special award for Brianna. For... We gave away an award for Worst Child, but I would just like to give an automatic award to Best Child to Brianna for making Vicki's head explode on numerous occasions this past season. First of all, for telling her at the last second that she eloped in Vegas with a guy that Vicki did not know. And then, for taking multiple people's sides against her mother, and confronting her mother and being, you know, slightly disrespectful, but incredibly truthful to her mother at the Real Housewives of Orange County season finale because Vicki was horrifying. Well, and also calling her mom up on cheating with Brooks on the actual TV. And for really preferring her not real dad, but her real dad, Don, to creepy Brooks and Vicki. And by the way, you'll all notice that none of these nominees have had anything to do with the reunions because the reunions, almost to me, are on such a different level. Like, there's so much craziness. There's so much fighting. There's so much screaming. You almost... I can never actually remember things that happen at reunions because there's so much. So, you know, if you're feeling like, "Well, you forgot about that fight between these two during this reunion or whatever." It's like we can't even... It's like it's hard to even process that stuff. Yeah, although Adriana and Joanna last night, they're in the running for next years, for sure. Oh, yeah, definitely. Okay, let's see here. Best moment of the year. Wait, why don't we move this category? Let's swap the next two categories because the moment of the year is a big one and the next one we should do before. Okay, the very special Shut Up Mountain Award goes to Jill Zaren from Real Housewives of New York. Anna from Real Housewives of Miami. Taylor from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Or Kyle Richards from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You better give it to Who Deserves It. You're just going to Shut Up Mountain. Shut Up Mountain. Jill Zaren from Real Housewives of New York City. Because the bit won't ever shut the butt up. Jill Zaren, you haven't been on TV in a year and I still can hear you. Shut up, Jill Zaren. I turn on the Oprah channel and I'm trying to listen to Oprah and I can still hear you in my head. Jill Zaren, shut up, Jill Zaren! Well, that sounds good. I think I will say if you had given it a few more weeks, Kyle Richards might have snapped this one up. Well, next year she can get it next year. When Kyle Richards gets fired and turns it into a year-long publicity tour for Doing Nothing and then gets a Snags and Interview with Andy Cohen, then records it and tries to sell it to magazines, she will win it. You know what? You'll fight. You're so right and you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to retroactively strip Jill Zaren of Housewives we miss most. And I'm fucking giving it to Kelly Killer and Ben Simone. I knew it. Ooh, wow. Controversy. I'm fucking fucking and I love it. No one's going to fight me on that. Everybody misses her snow angels. What about when she put her finger in Alex McCord's face? Ben, do you like to help me? -Sachos of gold? -Sachos of gold. I was going to say, okay, close your eyes. Now open them. Not close them. You're angry. You're angry. -Yes, this uh... -No, you're sad. No, you're sad. And you're down here. I'm up here. You're down here. Okay? Can I say something, though, the sad thing about the Shut Up Mountain award is that it's kind of our version of a lifetime achievement award, because basically you have to bid on these shows so long that then you just go crazy and just keep yapping. So congratulations, Jill, because you have now had a lifetime achievement. -You've reached... -Jill Zaren. You've reached Shut Up Mountain. Yes, Shut Up Mountain was built to honor it. -You've carved her face into it. -Ah. We've carved her face into it and now we're going to carve someone else's face next year. Shut up, Jill Zaren. Thank you. Our next award will be read by Matthew Whitfield and it's the best moment of the year! Are we doing that before the best Bravo show? Is that what's happening? -I'm going to order people. -Okay, what do we think is the most... What do we think should we end with moment or with show? -Show. -Show. Okay. Okay, then I will read the category best moment of the year and the nominees are cake gate, orange county season finale, real housewives of orange county. This is the world we live in, but you can't even eat a piece of cake! It was a great, great moment. Bitter girl doesn't win Top Chef Texas. I was so scared that she was going to win and luckily she didn't. I was really scared. Sonia Morgan freaks out about the impending, impending death of Milu, her beloved Bichon Frise who craps the bed. She's a very proud dog. But you don't understand, that's okay. She doesn't get it, that's okay. Alexis Bellino attempts to become a newscaster. Don't worry, the family's safe. Like her idol Katie Kurek. Katie Kurek. Now let's go interview Dr. Booty. The annual and disastrous posh fashion show. This is just some guy I happen to know who I invited here to talk about and listen, not being a stripper or something. Wait, are you being Kim D? I thought I was Adrian Maloof. Who by the way is now an official cast member. Well, not official yet, but they say that she's going to be an official cast member, Kim D. You heard it here third. Go on, there's some more nominees. Okay, so how far I have any more to list, many more nominees. Gallery girls enters our lives for one sad season. Oh, that was a great, great example. That girl has lipstick on her teeth. The Countess Luan de Lesseps has sex with Johnny Depp and denies it while on vacation, Real Housewives of New York City. (speaking in foreign language) Adriana slaps the god-loving shit out of Joanna Krupa's face on the Real Housewives of Miami. Great much. I've been a professional model for 10 years. What have you done? What have you done? Thomas Kramer loses his shit specifically on Anna at the Real Housewives. I do not want to talk about these nominations anymore. I do not want to talk about these anymore. This is like school children speaking right now. I'm in life dinner party. Where's my bed? Who invited you to the awards? Adrian Maloof mails a passive-aggressive, hideous flower arrangement to Lisa Vanderpump on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Dear Lisa, this looks like a turkey on Thanksgiving that got shit all over, died, dismembered, and taped back together. And do multi-plow a new restaurant. Kim Zolciak says, "Fuck this shit," and exits the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Oh, fuck this shit. I'm exiting the Real Housewives of Atlanta. And I'm going to Chick-fil-A on my way home in my Escalade. Okay, and the winner is... Oh my god. And the winner moment of the year. Oh my god. I hope this is the right one. Alexis Bellino becomes a newscaster. Again, I would have gone with... I really wanted to go with Sonya Fretzap about the dog. I would have gone. I would have done... I would have done Kayke, the dog, or Adriana Slap's Joanna. But you know what though? Honestly, Adriana Manus was amazing. Yeah, that was good. My favorite wasn't even on here. And that was... It's not about me. It's about the children with Missy... That's it! That's it! That's it. But that's also part of the dog scene, really, quite frankly. If you think about it. It's the whole dog scene. It's Aviva, and Sonya, and Milu, and Ramona together. Great moment. Great. It's in general. That was probably the toughest category we've had so far. We've had some tough ones. So to agree is the moment Milu? Yeah. The dog... Her best friend who craps the bed. She doesn't talk about her daughter. She talks about her dog. You know what, you're right. That moment, because you know what? Alexa's doing the news was one of the best moments of the year. But the Milu moment was, because it was not just the Milu moment. It was also about the children who don't have any legs. Yes, yes. It was a compound moment. It was about showing my... I mean, legs was probably my favorite of the year. Love it. And Sonya coming back saying that she has a proud dog. I mean, it is actually kind of... It is actually one of the most astonishing things I've ever seen in my life. Okay. All right. Shall I do the... Then runner-up will be Alexis Bolino. That is totally fine. Yes, yes. And I have to say congratulations to everybody, because it was an amazing year of really stupid ass moments. And congratulations, guys. And cake gate. Like, let's never forget cake gate. Let's like, history repeats itself. And let's make sure it doesn't. Because we don't want any fondant bo's to ever be ruined again. I just like saying fondant. Yeah, me too. All right. And now our last and most important category of all is... Best Bravo Show for 2012. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. And now the nominees. Gallery Girls. Gal girls. As is known. Gal girls. Gal girls. Real housewives of Miami, season two. Real housewives of Beverly Hills. It's got some of the hills. Season two. Real housewives of... What? Three or two on Beverly Hills. Season two came into this year, so it counts. Okay. Okay. Uh, the latest season of Real Housewives in New York City. And million dollar decorators in season two. How is that even on there? That shows not the best on-- Million dollar decorators is... Matt, can you back up that nomination? The nomination is valid, but we have a few more that need to be on this list. Yeah, we'll continue. That's the housewives. Well, not every housewife automatically gets to be a best show of the year. Orange County needs to fucking have a nomination. This season, you think this season was a best of the year season? Hello, Ben Cakegate. Alexis is a new thinker. You're right, you're right. All right, it's Lisa nominee. All right. Real housewives of Orange County. Yeah, this was also the year that had that five minute of Alexa, five minute scene of Alexis just brushing her hair. All right. Real houses of Orange County is now a nominee as well. What about shots of some sex season? No, I hate that show. You know, I really like shots on set season one, but I felt like it wasn't quite... First, we have a nomination. Here's the thing. I basically shows on like how excited I was to raise my TV to watch them. Like it's like, oh my god, it's Tuesday night. I can't wait to watch this show. At shots, I really enjoy shots, but it was not like for me. Orange County is getting thrown under the bus because that show is currently not airing, and New York is more fresh in our minds, but do not forget the amazingness of Orange County this year. It's not, I said it's a nominee. It's a nominee. And also, don't forget that New York really wasn't good until the last five weeks. No, the second half of New York was amazing. Okay. And it was exciting. Okay. I'll go halfway with you on that one. I'm assuming that Don't Be Target for the wedding is not getting an nomination. Yeah, absolutely not. Absolutely not. And I would even make it through that one. And Dan, shame on Bravo for even giving that troll up her own show again. Yeah. First time shame on you. Second time shame on God for making you. Yeah. I also, I wanted to give a nomination to Top Chef Texas, which I really enjoy, but I wasn't sure for you guys. I love Top Chef Texas. Top hating. I'm hating Seattle. Oh, I like Seattle. I love Texas. I love Texas. Also, because that was the first time in a long time, we've had a likeable Top Chef winner. Yeah. All right. That's all I have on a plane. He was really cute. So let me, let me review. The nominees for Best Bravo Show are Real Housewives of Orange County, Real Housewives of Miami Season 2, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 2, Real Housewives of New York City, whatever season was this year, Top Chef Texas, God Girls, and Million Dollar Decorators Season 2. I, yeah, I guess. I just, I'm missing, I'm missing some shows, but that's fine. Well, speak up. Speak up. The time is now. This is the last time-- Well, I hate, I hate Rachel's, though, and I hate Brad. So I'm not going to vote for either of them. OK. What about-- They weren't-- they didn't even hate-- Oh, yeah, go on. We all hate pregnant and heels. Tabitha is OK, but not as amazing or-- We probably should have, she should probably should have been a Bravo Liberty nominee. Sorry, everyone. She was nubbed. And then it happens. You know, I don't think it deserves a nomination, but I just would like to say I miss most eligible Dallas. There, I said it. OK. I do miss it. And you know what? Before we even announce the best Bravo show, why don't we nominate off the cuff? The worst Bravo shows the year. Everything you just named. Misadvised. Law work. And I think we could say perhaps more-- Chef Robley, Chef Robley and Company. Chef Robley and Company, and how about-- Don't target for the wedding. It's a Brad Brad world. Should I continue? Yes. Around the world, around the world and 80 plates. And 80 plates pregnant and-- Oh, I think that that has to win. Around the world and 80 plates, it was a huge failure. So no, I think law work is the worst, but I could also go for Around the World and 90 Plates. What do you guys think? Well, Around the World, 80 Plates is-- That was the most disappointing. And Law work was the worst, as just the worst. At least, at least, Law work was trying to do something. Around the world and 80 Plates was a rip off of other shows. And I don't think it even mattered how good your food was. Didn't it just matter? Like, didn't you get voted off like "Survivor"? It was like, yeah, exactly. The voting-- everything was wrong. Everything was wrong with you. It could have been awesome. And also it gave that fucking Curtis Stone about A-hole, a job. So fuck that. He sucks. He's a dick. But I was glad to see him get love handles this year. So yay for that. Oh, thank God. All right, so now that we've decided that, let's go back. No way did we commit? What did we commit to? I'm writing the list down. Well, my favorite show of the year is "The Good Wife." All right. Is worse show around the world and 80 Plates or Law work? Around the world and 80 Plates. It's a Brad Brad world, really? No, no, no. I think he has pretty terrible. I couldn't watch him, either. He was terrible and embarrassing to gay people. So I'll say, I'll still with you, I'm Brad. No, no, I think around the world and 80 Plates, because it was the most thoroughly disappointing. The other ones-- What about Missed Advised? What's up? The other ones were all shit, and we saw it there were shit, and we saw it coming, that there were shit. And guess what? They turned up to be shit. Around the world and 80 Plates looked like it could actually be good, and it sucked. And we were excited and it bombed. Yes. Yeah. OK. OK. I'm there, I'm there with you. Around the world and 80 Plates is the worst bravo show of the year. And now, back to the main event, I'm really nervous because I know which one I personally want to pick, and I hope I don't disappoint the masses. I think you're going to disappoint me, but not Ronnie. OK. Is everyone ready? Yes. Come on, Randy. The best bravo show of two-- Oh my god. --1,012 is-- Oh! Do we have a drum roll? [GROWLING] All right. I'm ripping the envelope. The best bravo show of 2012 is-- [GASPS] --Gah Girls. Oh, yes! Oh, Jimmy! Oh, and they're never going to be able to win again. They will never win again. But you know what? We had to give it to them because they are never going to be able to win it again. Miami can get better and win it next to your people. Miami was a close second place, quite frankly. Although Beverly Hills Season 2 is pretty amazing, but Miami was a close second place because Miami, honestly, Miami brought it. They were up against the wall. They had a great season. It's been tons of fun. But you don't know what that with Gallery Girls was just perfect. Well, unfortunately, it's dead now. And it's like you just can't say no to a dead person. Glory, Gallery Girl. Well, love you. Well, thanks for making it such a fun year, Gah Girls. Thanks for the memories. So that brings us to the end of our first annual crappies award. Woo! Congratulations to all the winners and non-winners. I'm sorry that Martin Lawrence Blard and a million-dollar decorators were shut out, but, you know, that's what happens. He was our amazing fashion correspondent on the red carpet, so he got his-- Oh, yes, yes. And he also designed the set as Martin Lawrence Blard would do. He-- our set is Tiger Patterns, along with Stripes and Paisley, with a dose of Inja. A dose of Inja. [INAUDIBLE] Inja. [LAUGHTER] Inja. So we will be back next week with an all-new show, and it will be 2013. So happy new year to all of you guys. You can find Matt Whitfield at life on the M-list on Twitter. You can find Ben at beside blog. And you can find me, Ronnie, @TVGazelle. You can find our show @WetCrapins. And you can join us on Facebook at Facebook.com/WetCrap. We love you. We mean it. Call us. And we'll see you next time. Happy new year. Bye. Bye, guys. [MUSIC PLAYING] If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the Internet. The folks behind the sideshow network of launch the new YouTube channel called WaitForIt. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, buys a slice finger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name. Liza, our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down Internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to YouTube.com/WetForItComedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here, and it's funny. And I love you. [MUSIC PLAYING] A few days ago, Brooke Todine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. #KeepCliming. #Savings. Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watchbook Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who will fight like hell to keep you out of jail? We defend and we fight just like you'd want your own children to defend it. Whether you're facing a drug charge, caught up on a murder wrap, accused of committing war crimes, look no further than Paul Bergrin. All the big guys go to Bergrin because he gets everybody off. You name it, Paul can do it. Need to launder some money, broker a deal with a drug cartel? Take out a witness? From Wondery, the makers of Dr. Death and over my dead body comes a new series about a lawyer who broke all the rules. Doesn't it funny how witnesses disappear or how evidence doesn't show up or somebody doesn't testify correctly? 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