That's So Persian!
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#49: That's So Persian!
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So naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. That's right, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabytes of detail. [Music] Hey everyone, it's Watch What Crapins, a weekly podcast about all that stuff that we love on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from BsideBlog.com and you can find me @BsideBlog on Twitter and joining me as always are Matt Woodfield from Yahoo TV. Hey Matt. Hey Ben, happy birthday. Oh thank you very much, thank you. Are you 29 again? 29 again as I will be for the next foreseeable future and Matt is at life on the M-list and we also have Ronnie Karam from TVGasm. Hey Ronnie. Hello everybody. Hi, Ronnie is @TVGasm and this podcast is @whatcrapins on Twitter and you should really follow us because it's just it's important and on Facebook you should follow us too. We're facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins and you should follow us not because we need followers but there's actually a lot of fun stuff that goes on on our Facebook page. Major shout out to all the people that participate on our Facebook page. You guys are fucking hilarious. Yeah you really are and it's like people are really active and people post news stories and and there's just a lot of fun stuff that goes on there more than you might even believe. So you should really follow us and @ us as friends and stuff. But wow we have so much fun stuff to talk about today because there are like seven new shows to talk about. So is everyone ready? Is everyone ready to go down this wild ride? Let's do it. I have my I have my diamond water. I am ready. The enthusiasm is off the walls. So I don't know why don't we start with what we've done the past few weeks which is million-dollar decorators/topshafts just sort of get that out of the way because otherwise we're gonna forget about these these poor little shows even though topshaft is a huge franchise. Did everyone watch this week? Oh yeah. I did. We're watching all this shit. Don't you worry. I watch it when I eat lunch so I can binge while I watch it. I have to be eating while I watch topshaft. It's like the ultimate rule because like if I don't have food near me and I'm watching topshaft it's like I'm gonna drive through to Astroburger in the middle of the night and get like five veggie burgers. You know I would still do that even if I do eat during topshaft so it's a real problem for me. I have some issues but gosh can we let's what happened this week? Two people got eliminated right? Oh oh our dear Hispanic-looking Carla got eliminated right? Carla is no more. She really had high hopes for her bitchery. I'm so sad that that's done. I know me too this is I think two episodes in a row where like the winner of the previous episode was sent home right? Yeah I was really bad. I was a little Japanese girl at home and now Carla. Yeah it's again where you know I'm always rooting for the women on this show because this is such a dick dominated business and I really hate seeing the women go home but man when you can't cook a pigeon I mean you know if you start out poor the first thing you should learn to cook is pigeons and rats. Yeah there's no excuse. Are you speaking from experience? Yes. Okay who's the other guy? Someone else was eliminated with Carla. I can't remember who it was. You know who it should be? Hugh Atchison. Oh he's too much in a bad way. I don't like him because he rolls his eyes a lot. He's an asshole. And he's also not on the same level like in the same league as the other top chefs there and I'm like mmm you need to peace out boy know your role. I know we're never getting served at his restaurants ever. Like Taylor Swift we are never ever served. Getting back together with his restaurants. This is like exhausting talking about Hugh Atchison. No. Atchison Atchison. Wait who was the other person guy limited? I can't remember who it was for the life of me. My guess is a random white guy who wasn't gonna play a factor. I wish it was CJ who got sent to him the tall guy. I never thought he was good the first time around. CJ was never an all-star people. Hello. Yeah he was never good. He should have been sent home I think. I met him by the way outside of one of those bars on Abbott Kinney and Venice. Totally sweet. And then of course the drunk girl that I was with only wanted to ask him about his one ball. Yeah well he's got that snotty voice you know like that Connecticut people voice and he was really good friends with that bunny-fu-fu-faced Casey girl with the butt tee. Oh the one Casey Casey was like well I guess I have to have me on because I guess I'm like the hot one or oh it's just so gross it's like you look like a tennis mom please be quiet and she was really super snotty and she had that Connecticut voice as well and she made Carla beaker Carla the one with a big muppet face. Yeah she made her lose because she made her sous vide some stuff in the finale. Remember that? She like bullied? Yeah she screwed Carla over and then she asked what her little best friend lost almost lost doing this week sous vide. Well you know it and then you know it also Casey got really mad at all the people on the internet who like blamed her for Carla losing and she's like it wasn't my fault Carla had decision but you know what here's the truth anyone who sous vide's anything on top chef always is in the bottom or goes home. Right you're a moron if you even attempted hello people watch the previous seasons don't sous vide anything. Yeah I don't want to be some some piece of meat cooked in a ziplock bag that's disgusting cook your food your chefs. Yeah oh you know what the other person who went home was the girl who cooked who tried to make the salad like the famous salad and she overdressed it that's who it was. I mean it is a problem if you overdress it I mean you got to send it back. Yeah you got to send it back and there was that cool they had to butcher something for the quick fire that was fun that was fun to watch. Yeah this show doesn't really get juicy until they all turn hateful I mean they are they are they've turned against the hateful chef which he totally deserves it but yeah you know it's not going to be fun until somebody breaks something. The little Oklahoma like a garden gnome guy hates the guy from Texas. I think we are we have to root for garden gnome now right like I mean that's kind of where my allegiance is at this point. I'm I sort of like the asshole guy I have to say you know I like I like the Japanese girl and she's gone so really the season is over for me. She was she was so like sweet and polite. Speaking of the end of seasons are we going to talk about flipping out for a second because that shit got crazy. Sure yeah I watched I don't watch flipping out really but I did watch the scene with him saying goodbye to his cat who we had to put down. Yeah I mean it was hilarious. Hilarious yet sad. I have not had a laugh like that. I'm not a cat person I'm a dog person. I love Ronnie's dog. Supes cute. But you know that cat was with Jeff for a long time. Yeah that was you know a fuck Jeff Lewis. That guy is such a mean horrible human being. He doesn't do anything for anybody but himself and all he does is treat everybody like shit and everybody thinks it's so funny because he occasionally has a good one-liner. Fuck that guy. Fuck his cat. Let me ask you this. Are you suggesting that the cat committed suicide to get away from Jeff because that is very but that's viable. Well I sure wouldn't blame it. Man's horrible. Probably choked some of his wig hair. What was the name of the cat again? Does anyone remember like is it like a monkey? It's a monkey. Okay so that's a pet peeve of mine by the way. I have a pet peeve of when people named their pets after other animals. Like when you see a dog named bear or a cat named monkey it's like that's ridiculous. I have a problem with that. I also have a problem with moms that name all of their children with the same letter of the alphabet. Like you all have a J name like I'm kind of over that. But imagine if you named your child like giraffe or lion. Like it just wouldn't make sense. Like why would you ever if you wanted a monkey buy a monkey? Okay don't call your cat a monkey. Your cat's a cat. You know I mean talk about it. That's probably what the cat died because it has having an identity crisis. You guys thought it was a very proud cat. It was a very very proud cat. Very proud. Now the other thing that was exciting in animal news was that we got to see Martin Lawrence Bellard. Was he writing an elephant or just petting an elephant? I think just petting it. He was just petting it but he wanted to write a Oh what a wonderful elephant. Two elephants are so wonderful. What a proud animal. Oh my god well something happened when I did him my voice messed up. He's killing me. The man is killing me. All right Lawrence Bellard get off my throat. Well so here's the thing. So on million-dollar decorators which should really just be called Martin Lawrence Bellard. Yes he and and the other one the the fun one that we all like whose name I can't remember. They went to India to find Inja. Inja. Inja. Look at cobras on glasses. And there was something so wonderfully perfect about putting Martin Lawrence Bellard in the third world. Him he was so flabbergasted by everything that went by him. Which should not come as a surprise because well maybe it does. Because he does shop a fresh newsy. I am obsessed with looking at all of their all of the decorators on MDD have these special tag sales on One King's Lane which I'm like totally obsessed with. And I was assuming that they would scour the third world for all of these Abje Dar which is the apostrophe art. And then when you see Martin Lawrence Bellard like freak out and not be able to handle the third world. I've decided that really all of the crap that they're selling on One King's Lane is like knock off like sale items from Pier One that they're just wet marking up like five thousand percent. I think that he basically got to the airport in Jaipur and found a bunch of Chachkes and was like you know like these let's go you know. You wanted to get out of there immediately. In Jaipur. In Jaipur. Listen I could watch him and the other lady. Does anyone remember her name? Am I crazy? Are you talking about Mary Mcdonald? You've heard about Catherine Ireland? Mary Mcdonald I'm sorry. I could watch them in the third world all day long. Oh I mean I don't know I just love that this show got rid of like the lame dude from season one. And it's really all about MLB, Double M and Catherine Ireland. I don't care about Jeffrey Alan Marks and his creepy like Abercrombie model from the 90s boyfriends. Well obviously no one cares about them because they were in the episode at all. I don't think they were even in it. And two weeks ago they were in for just a pod buster so they were clearly on the outs. Exactly they need to be booted to the side. But you know what's amazing to me about this show is that they make everything so exciting. Maybe I'm just like a sucker for like a tense score. But like they'll be like well we have to move in. We have to move in a stool and I don't know where the stool is. And he was like da da da da da da da. I'm like oh my god what's going to happen? I know they make it seem like it's a dinner party on the Beverly Hills housewives which is like in a whole other league. But this is like nope you need to just rehang that painting by 4 p.m. No it's like that's all. The episodes to me are like they're directed by Jan de Bon. Like this is like speed for me and not the drug I'm talking about. Like I'm expecting count of Reeves to come bursting in with a little ottoman or something like that. Like I am so nervous by the time the show gets the end. Yeah one more reason why it is secretly the jewel and bravo's jewel case. It is my favorite show. It's a jewel that I found in Jaipur when I was there with my nose blood and and where McDonald's. Have we just totally lost Ronnie at this point? There he is. He's chuckling it. Brian has to take a seat on this because it's the only voice that I can kind of do. I cannot hang with you guys with the others but for some reason I can kind of get an M.L.B. Do some M.L.B. this might be like my candy impersonation. I've been the one that's been saying In-ja. In-ja, in-ja. When I was at last I had to admit I didn't even know that show was all and I didn't watch it and I thought maybe it was cancelled already because it's so boring and horrible. Oh I thought I didn't know what was happening quite yet. Maybe you should spend last time in fashion easy perusing the seasonal offerings and watch your DVR. Well I couldn't think about what chocolate is. Well I could think about with the Cadbury eggs that were soon going on sale after Christmas. I can't wait to check the clearance rock in fashion easy for some old chocolate Santa Claus's. So next week I saw the preview for next week and and some guy was like it feels like you're kicking me out. Is that his boyfriend? I don't know but from what I could gather it looks like Martin Lawrence Belaude and his boyfriend live in a tree house. Am I wrong? No it definitely there might be a rope swing. Which by the way Martin Lawrence Belaude and a rope swing is a great image. I know I mean it is I mean get ready for a sweep. You know it's a swing somewhere in that house. Oh yes there certainly is and it costs $50,000. Minimum. All right so why don't we move on to the main event of the week which is that we had the season premiere of Shah's of sunset and we have a lot to talk about. So our our dearest Matt actually got to go to the real premiere of it. So tell us about it. What happened? Okay so was it the SLS hotel? Oh no way. First before you even start this. How dare you not get us invites. We're sitting alone with mustaches on straws like crazy people. Chrissy of Bravo. Bravo sent us mustaches drinking alone. And here you're tweeting you're like hi I just got just by MJ. Whatever. We're supposed to be friends. We're the three gay skaters. You're supposed to call us and bring us there. That's like not. It was a last minute invitation from a former boss/co-worker. And so anyway I found out at the very last minute and I couldn't get a plus one or two because I did ask. So just call your jets. I'm not upset. It was terrifying. By the way I'm not upset because you know before we get into now before we get into your great story I'm going to tell you what happened over here and I'll tell you. Bravo sent us little things for to have a Shah's of sunset premiere parties. They sent us straws with mustaches on top. They sent plastic champagne flutes. They sent us Christmas lights as we didn't plug in. A little lantern and a votive candle and a book on Persian cooking and I made two Persian dips and I drank per second alone because no one else out of the four of us wanted to drink and we watched the show. So to me I had a fantastic time. Now it goes. Now see if you can talk that. That's a little different than me being at the SLS with two open bars. A Persian techno DJ. A ton of like glamorous seats and a big screen screening. Ryan Seacrest the producer was there, introduced the show. Hob-knobbing with all of these Persian ladies in skimpy sequined mini dresses and then me standing in the corner tweeting and texting. Which by the way you could get the same experience minus Ryan Seacrest if you just go the Trader Joe's and West Wood you know. No doubt about it. Definitely West Wood. Definitely West Wood. But so go on. So tell us. No I mean it was fun. I showed up at the SLS. It felt very glamorous. It was a lot of the decor. It was a Persian party and it felt glamorous. Can you explain that? Now you know I mean that does sound a little crazy but it did feel glamorous because people were super dressed up. I was wearing like a black long sleeve t-shirt and gray pants and everybody else was kind of like in BCBG like mini dresses. So I was kind of feeling a little awkward. But when I feel awkward I hit the open bar which there were two of. It was awesome. No but it was cool. Like I got to meet Ryan Seacrest. I got to see a lot of the cast members. The only one. Okay yes. Feel free to interrupt to me. Yes. I want to know how is Ryan Seacrest and you said that MJ dissed you. I want to know what that story is. I just want to get right to that. Okay MJ I asked her for a photo because she was taking some photos with a lot of like clearly homosexual Persians that may have been in the closet and I was like okay well I can get in on this and I didn't even embarrass her by being like bitch you live across the street from me and Ben. Like we know you're ghetto. Like I didn't even go there. Right. Like that could have been my in but I was just like hey will you take a picture and she was like yeah totally not a problem or whatever and then she was looking at everybody's phones when they were taking photos of her because she needed to see how her boobs and her fat rolls were looking. They look fat MJ. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Don't you got a mirror in home bitch. Spoiler alert. Say nothing that her mom wouldn't say. Go on. Um he asked the mom was there. The mom was there and they were not talking at the party. Were you sure it wasn't Doris Roberts because they're very easy to confuse. Ben I'm not shitting you. I'm standing there. Was Romano there? Are you sure you're at the same party? Are you sure you weren't the everybody loves Raymond Reunion party? Okay this is so crazy that you just said that but I'm starting to get into Jimmy. I am drinking my Greyhound and I'm sitting there and then this woman walks by and I'm like oh why is Doris Roberts here? What the fuck is happening? Anyway it's MJ's mom. They're all there except for Reza because he was taping Watch What Happens with Kim and Andy that night. I stayed at the party for two hours. I watched the show. I had some drinks. MJ was a bitch to me. Ryan Seek. This would not have been nicer. What did MJ do to dis you though so she looked at the picture of herself on your phone? No no no she was looking at like everybody else's pictures on their phones and going like eh let's delete that. I don't look so good and I was like bitch you don't look good in any of them. Wait so that was the dis? No and then I kept going. I know she was like hold on and I'll come back to you and then I went up and I was like hey you said you take a photo with me and she was like oh I'm busy right now and then turned her back and walked away to the bar. Well they did just open up the fondue at that point I'm sure. No I told you. I mean I was putting on like alerts. The pomegranate fondue is now open. Ben your two Persian dips were the most Persian food that night because at this party there was a cheese plate and sliders being passed around. Oh no. Girlfriend loves a flatter of sliders. How Persian is a fucking mini cheeseburger? Well it was made with lamb and no there was no kababi lammy shit happening it was a fucking cheeseburger. Well visit little Armenia there's a fat burger and a denny's. I mean what do you expect? Wow. Well it still sounds like a fun time. It was fun because Lily was there and she made a grand entrance. Well as you did on the show while we just get right into the show huh. Okay let's do it. So this was we had the arrival of Lily who so here's what you need to know about Lily. She's got two huge boobs. She's got a dog that runs around in circles in a permanent seizure. Okay pause. Yes. How retarded is that dog? Coconut. I like to use coconut's name because coconut even though coconut's way into circles he is proud and he has a proud dog. Do you know how many healthy dogs they kill off in those shelters? I mean watch any just google pita murder on youtube and look at all the healthy animals they get thrown into dumpsters. Why do people keep these retarded ass dogs? I go to the dog park and people are like saving their three-legged pitbull. I'm like first of all it's a death trap. It's a death machine. And second of all it's got three legs go get yourself a new dog. There's like 50,000 dead dogs today. Get rid of that retarded dog. I kind of love that dog that runs in circles. Yeah I had I had a drink coming out of my nose. I loved it. I loved this dog that was going around in circles. So now Lily to me by the way when we first saw her hair was sort of like up in this weird sort of like button type thing her boobs are out and she's wearing her legs look like they're about eight feet tall. She is super tall in real life even without the seven inch stilettos. To me she kind of looked like a cartoon spider you know. I don't think that in bad way she just looked like she was like her limbs were long and she had this big bulbous black thing on top of her head. She sort of looked sort of like a leggy spider like maybe nobody nobody gives better confessional fashion than Lily and Asa. I mean they're going to be duking it out all season long for craziest confessional ensemble. I can't even get into Asa just yet. I still because I want to cross that way. But so but I will say this about Lily though. So she comes on and you know occasionally she has like a pulp fiction Uma Thurman Bob going on which I thought was very strange. But then you know I was sort of waiting to to hate on her real bad. Me too slash love her. But I have to say with the the climax of the episodes that everyone got together for a dinner for Asa which again we will we will get to that. And there is this guy named Omid is that his name? Omid. Omid who. Wait is that is that Omid or Madison Hildebrand? All my neighbors are like there's a bird being tortured in a party. Well so Omid. We'll sit at a party in a second but the point is this. Omid was rude. Omid was rude but Lily redeemed herself. I think all of us thought that she was going to be awful and terrible and she was going to fight with Gigi the entire season which is probably going to happen. But the point is this Lily is secretly amazing. Lily you know what Lily because Omid said made a comment that was suggested that he would beat up the woman and Lily and again we'll get to Omid more. But Lily really you know stepped up to him and was like you were not allowed to say that like you should be ashamed. You know she was really good and she can actually string a sentence together with like proper words. And she stood up for herself in a way that I thought was impressive. I was actually impressed by her for now. I was also I also liked how Gigi when she first saw Lily she was like oh I like a girl with style whatever or something like that. And then we all at this very exclusive viewing party were all like yeah you'll like her until you realize that everyone else likes her more than you. Yeah exactly until you realize that you've got mosquito bites on your chest you fucking rage head cross-eyed idiot and she has munchkin head. Do you guys think that she does have munchkin face? She has like under the rainbow face. You guys. Another thing that I love is that MJ instantly hated her because she was hot. I mean I love bitter fat people because I am that way and I live in West Hollywood where everybody's gorgeous. So I'm giving people that look all day while I shove sliders down my face. So it was really nice to see that coming from MJ. It was comforting. It was. So wait so can we talk now let's talk about let's talk about who this Omid character is. Wait can we just go through quickly first of all does anybody miss Sammy I don't know that he was at the party. Oh yeah and I have a feeling that he's going to be bumped into like friend of the way Camille grammar is. That's just my two cents. I'm sure. I mean how could you not bump into him? Ah well she's got to have sex with somebody. Oh that's true. Camille or MJ. Okay before we get to the dinner party let's just talk about then Mike. Mike is boring and probably should not be on the cast. Discuss. Okay Mike who gets mad at Omid at this party he's like hey this is a classy restaurant cut to Mike wearing a t-shirt okay. Yeah cut to Mike then also kind of getting aggressive with Lillie when Lillie's like I'm supposed to defend myself and then he's like don't you get loud and it's like you're the one now screaming in the restaurant on Burton Way. Cut to Mike claiming that he's grown up and he hasn't cut to cut to Mike talking to some dude in Orange County going this guy lives the dream and the guy has like a cross-eyed big-titted wife and they live in like a nasty fake McMansion in Orange County. I would rather kill myself cut to Mike being in a store buying a tacky zebra and putting it in like white mesh to bring down to Orange County just the idea of him having to pick that thing out is hilarious enough for me. Cut to Mike talking to his mom on the phone because that's the only woman in his life that will ever put up with his bullshit. I can't cut to Mike anymore because there's nothing left to cut to. Okay then let's cut to Mike and Shabbat Darr cut to Mike and Yum Kapoor. Mike has done and you know like last season I thought he was sort of attractive but whatever that was has sort of gone now. He just looks more trollish than ever before. He does. He looks like a bridge troll and he's got so many parents. He's got so many parents of fake Ash and Elle sunglasses that I just can't respect the guy. He's also looking more and more blocky like he's just fully turning into a building block you know. Yeah there is such a thing as working out your face muscles too much. There is and by the way I feel bad for any girl less to make out with him because he looks like he has stubble that is like could scour a cast iron skillet. It looks like it looks like he has beef breath but not dairy breath at the same time. No never never. I like when one of the others die and all you eat is beef and dairy and then you get that dead that dead breath. Yeah and your tongue turns yellow it's not cute been there. I don't know about this. I listen I had a bagel today what can I say? Yeah I missed that. I had some carbs. You know what I miss working out but that won't be happening anytime soon. We need to talk when you talk about Asa when you talk about how does Asa have money to own that mansion in Venice? So Asa has done a complete turnabout. Last last season Asa's whole thing was she hates material things just understand why people care about money so much. She's just in her hovel making stupid songs drinking water with diamonds in it. And now season two we have Asa who has a mansion and Barry's gold thirty thousand dollars of gold coins in her in her steps. Oh you don't do that you don't do that in your like foyer. Well I I bury Hanukkah money so it looks like gold. I tell people don't tell me that because I'm going to come eat it off the floor. And then she also demands to be flown business class to New York for Fashion Week for some ridiculous thing. Actually it's a normal thing and she's ridiculous for asking to go business class as if she's frickin Lady Gaga. Well I'm also like Michael Costello the guy who never won project runway. It can afford fifteen thousand dollars to fly Asa to New York to a fashion show no one's going to look at. Yeah and to music that's going to send them out of the building. Exactly like Ramona Singer wouldn't even sit through that fashion show and she sits through everything. The other thing with Asa is so she's also become like a totally obnoxious person now too. What are you talking about but your tongue bitch? No she is awful. She became awful. Something happened to her. Something it's when people are broke ass artists and they're weirdos and they dress in nanny costumes it's like okay at least they're poor but when they're snobby and they're acting like they're too above everything and she's disgusting. I can't even form a sentence right now. I guess I like her. I feel like I relate to her. She you know she has turned the corner. The whole reason why they had this dinner party was because she's like hey everyone I want everyone here because I want to announce that I'm being flown to New York to sing at Fashion Week. It was such an obnoxious thing you know. I mean she might as well just have a success party at this point. Yeah I'm surprised Kenny didn't show up and snatch the mic. Yeah. Well you guys can you believe that chunk from Project Runway actually has a job in a store what's that about? And who's that girl who's obviously funding him? He's like I don't know if we have the budget for that. I don't know you. I don't know what you do. What the hell are you? She's someone who actually has a brain. She is someone who has ears and eyes and can listen to awesome music. I'd be like hell no we're not paying you fifteen thousand dollars. We're paying you fifteen hundred dollars max and that's your ban. Yeah you can take a greyhound. Yeah exactly. Like anyone wants to hear like some some rhythmic drumming on a tablet or something. It is just strange to me though that that house in Venice is at least worth two point five million dollars yet she claims she only has five hundred in her bank account. It's like I love you but I'm not going to cry for you I'm sorry. Yeah it's called dig out one of the gold coins you've got hidden under there. Don't you think now she probably has like a thousand homeless people like scratching at her front stoop right now. What a dumb mess. That she goes don't tell anyone but I've got thirty thousand dollars of gold down here. Don't tell anyone okay except the entire country. Whatever you know that she's just got those little Easter coins those little chocolate things covered in gold tin. I don't believe in that for a second. Yeah and they're probably already gone. MJ already probably sniffed him out. Like a truffle she's like a truffle snorting pig. Gosh I don't mean that she's like a pig but. No you should because she dissed me so she is a truffle snorting pig. Yeah you're thin so you're not really allowed to make statements like that. I on the other hand I'm allowed to call a bitch fat so if you need them just text it over to me and I'll make a truffle snorting pig joke. So can we talk about MJ and her mom so. Yes did you guys see the picture that I posted on our Facebook page. Oh yeah that was great. That is the quote of the year. All you do is drink wine and cry which is true I mean that she's just calling as she sees it. That's just what Doris Roberts does. I love how Doris Roberts then started to get angry at her sister-in-law which is MJ's aunt. Yeah and like through a fit at the dinner table and pieced out. But as Ronnie noticed at the party she pieced out with her plate of food. Like mother like dog. Like a bear with her food. She's like I'm gonna be sitting on the pot with my food. Don't fuck with me. To be fair though I mean obviously she is like the worst mother in the world. But that was a perfectly nice dinner. But MJ was the one who made this a totally awkward thing. She was like wow like you guys all have moms that support you. My mom doesn't say anything. But then it was funny that everyone was telling the mom like that you're like a terrible terrible terrible mother. Yeah but she is a table totally deserves it. You know she's a fucking brat. Like what she does at a family dinner. Like who does that at dinner? It's true. You know if you have problems with your mom do it and privately but don't make your whole family turn against her. You know Jesus Christ woman. Was anybody else hoping that MJ's dogs were gonna eat the mom's bird in the back of the white Mercedes? I don't know but you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna like I'm gonna like take a sledgehammer to every white Mercedes I see just to make MJ's mom drive all over this back and forth to her apartment to make sure everything's okay. By the way the valet at the party that I was at I was the only car that was not a white Mercedes FY. Oh my god MJ's mom must have been so confused. It's like the Atlanta ladies in their white Range Rovers. Like okay like that play that Range Rover of Atlanta has leased out so many damn white white Range Rovers rentals. So then we also had Rayza so Rayza's whole thing this episode was that he kept on saying he was obsessed with everything. He's like oh my god I am obsessed with Lily. Oh my god I am obsessed with awesome. Lily's a pigeon baby. I'm obsessed today. She's Persian. Oh you know what Persian is? Persian is when you're late to things. Persian is when you can't breathe and the sun comes up. Persian is when you're hairy. Like just white because you talk really loud doesn't make it a joke. I know it's like like white people love to drive cars that aren't white Mercedes but Persians are like I gotta have you a white Mercedes. That's so Persian. Like what are you saying? I went to the refrigerator and I like I opened up the refrigerator I was like oh my god this is so Persian. Persians are like open the refrigerator. White people are like don't open the refrigerator. Oh my god. Persian everything in here is is gold. White people don't have gold in their refrigerators. This is so Persian. I'm like that's wrong. It's so long. It's like a Persian rug. I'm like where is the milk in the refrigerator. I can't be if I drank all the milk. Like that is so Persian of me. Persian. White people always leave a little milk until it spoils. Not a Persian will drink the whole thing. Persian people are like I am going to drink all that milk. Oh my god. I kept if you're trying to share the subject method is like so white person. White people. Persians let each other talk until they're finished. Oh my god. He actually is now dating a white person and to make it even worse it's a ginger. Oh my god I'm obsessed with gingers. That's so Persian. Well don't like gingers. They make fun of them in England but guess who gets who loves them. Persians. I'm like give me that ginger bread cookie right now but make sure it has some pomegranates in it so that's Persian. I want to do him in the air so I hate his language. I think he's so crass and embarrassing to gay people. I really don't like that guy. What about what Lily was saying? Lily was saying some like wildly inappropriate stuff. I thought like when she was like oh I have somebody to set you up with. I was just like just because you know one other gay person doesn't mean that he should date Reza. She's like he is versatile. Bottom so I know he'll be good for you. It's like that's so gross. Both you shut up. I don't want to look at you. And also what we're talking about Reza I would like to say because I never watch a show. Of course I'm the one who's always bringing it up. Actually now that I think about it. But I was watching Watch What Crappings because that dumb dumb was on there. Watch What Happens. Yes. Watch What Crappings is the best show. Oh yeah. I was watching Watch What Happens because Kim Zolciak was on there after her horrendous ass night on Atlanta which we'll talk about later. Yeah. But I wanted to see her. And Reza was on there. And he was such a rude piece of shit. He was so rude to the bartender. And I guess because he didn't know. She was annoying. She was annoying. She's like an actual b-lister and you're being generous actual bartender. She's gee less honey. I'm sorry. It doesn't matter. He was so fucking rude. Like I don't appreciate people being rude to service people. I am in the service industry. And I demand respect for fake bartenders. He was really rude. She's on the new normal. And he's like oh how's that doing? And him and Kim started cracking up. They were laughing. It's doing like 10 times what you're with your book. Okay you need to be quiet because let me tell you a few things that you are wrong about. Number one they were making fun of the new normal because Nini is on the show and the ratings are starting to sag. And that's why they were laughing about the show. Andy said that she's on the new normal. She said yes. And he's like oh that dude. It's fucking rude. I don't figure. You know she's there trying to make a damn living. She's in her 40s. She's still not rich. You may as my god. Bartending for Andy Cohen. Oh my god. Why do we care about this woman really? I don't know. I don't know. Apparently she's Ronnie's bestie. I would like to talk about something else that's gay and rude. Or if I can tell you that much. I want to talk about Omid now. Can we talk about Omid? No we can't talk about Omid yes. Because I have one other- Okay say something about MJ. Did you guys catch the part where Reza is sitting down and they're going over her like match.com profile that they're setting up for her and he's going through a list of like people she can and cannot date. And he's like white guys, blonde guys, jingers. He gets to Asians and she goes oh hell no. Well because she's afraid she might crush them. Because I'm Asian can't get his penis through one of her armpit folds let alone her giant giant flap. Oh my god. Wow okay. I get okay. Now we can talk about Omid. I'm furious about the bartender. This is what you did. Ronnie's got for the rest of the podcast jerk. Ronnie Ronnie is fired. Ronnie's just Ronnie's bitter that he didn't get invited to the Shaw's party that he did not miss anything at. I'm not bitter. I got to eat some delicious dip with bits. I made some great dips. Wait no I have to talk about this guy Omid because so he comes on and I'm like oh wow they got another gay guy for the show. Me too. Truly like what I thought. And then like she's like oh yeah like Omid so funny and I'm like oh that's like that's fun. She has a gay now. And then somewhere like Midway to the show I started to get the sneaking suspicion that she was actually supposed to be interested in Omid. And then it actually came to fruition like he's supposed to be like a romantic foil to Mike in some way. Can we agree that this guy is like crazy gay. Crazy gay. That guy is scared than a dick in a butt. I also thought by the time they were drunk and being horrifying at the dinner party that I've decided that Gigi and Omid are the Rihanna and Chris Brown of Reality TV. Yeah except they'll never have sex. That being said I actually thought Omid was really hot. I think super hot and I think that he probably has sex with girls by sticking his nose up their vagina because his nose is clearly bigger than Omid. So now that brings us back to Asa or also known as asshole who is like I just want to like congratulate you on not getting a nose job. I love your big nose. You know since this guy's gay he probably was horrified and spent the next three weeks like in a burka himself. Oh yeah you know he's trying to figure out how to nail file that shit down at home. Yeah you know that like Asa gave him a major disorder about his face after that. Well I think that Asa, look I think that she was being a rude bitch but first of all she learned from the best. I mean everyone tortured her all last year. Everywhere she showed up they made fun of her clothes, they made fun of her hair, they made fun of her terrible music all justified. Don't get me wrong. She's coming out swinging now. Yeah she knows a little ahead of me and girls. She's going to have to be shallow. She's going to have to pretend she has more money than she does. She's just going to have to be as hideous a human being as possible and she's doing it. Yeah. I thought it was funny when she said I cherish you for not getting a nose job. No it's funny but awful. Like she's like wow only an odd human being would say that. Love and use people like if we see each other we'll make fun of each other's noses and body hair because we've got that in common. It's like the Jews make cheap jokes at each other, right Ben? Uh not really actually. Just kidding. You do. Yay. Horrible. Humanity is fully horrible everybody. Gosh you know all of us people from the Levant it's just bad news. Bad news. This is why we cannot piece in the least. Too many barbs. Too many jokes about big noses over dinner. Can I tell you guys who the star of the episode was? Yeah please. Um Gigi's sister who regulated her dumbass. Oh my god that was amazing. Gigi's sister who secretly looks like MJ. What is that about? Like every time she comes on the screen I'm like MJ is what's going on? Oh wait it's your sister now. It's because you're thin now so all the fat people look the same. They're all just blobs. They're all just blobs. I don't know. I think that she's gonna be a real drag on Gigi's extensions which is clearly a brand that's meant to go huge. Global. Global. Gigi's extensions. Get them now. To make your hair look like the most glamorous munchkin in all of us. Oh I love that Gigi was so confused about the fact that she had to work at a job. The sister is like you haven't done anything. She's like well but what do you mean? Like what am I supposed to do? You said that I'm supposed to publicize stuff and she's like yeah and you haven't publicized anything but I don't I don't understand what do you mean? What am I supposed to do? Publicize things but what? No the sister got to after that went back and forth a thousand times and Gigi could not comprehend it. The sister goes well at least you could read the goddamn contract. And Gigi's like well I don't read. I don't really read. That's my thing. Didn't Gigi threaten to cut her in the battle year or some shit? Yeah with a knife. Yeah. Something like that. She's nine months pregnant. That's what I say to pregnant women. She's saying this entire thing while wearing some like floppy ass like piece of fabric that was sort of like draped around her like some tunic gone terribly wrong. I was laughing that she was doing her best to say so calm this whole episode and her sister was just like pushing and pushing and pushing. She was just trying to embarrass her as bad as badly as she could. I love it. Success. Success. She doesn't even have to push that hard for Gigi to embarrass herself. Gigi by the way was supposed to tweet at us since we had our little shots of sunset viewing party and she didn't. Slut. Slut whore. Yeah. You're you're sleeping with a gay man. You're a little raging midget face. You guys are trying to get a cast member on the show to talk with us. So let's keep one of those safe. You know what? The only cast member I would ever even want to talk to on that show is Sammy. Because you know that he is bitter enough to tell us stuff after getting fired. The rest of them. What's MJ gonna say? She's gonna get on here and cry about her mom. Reza's gonna be sweating all over our microphones. Oh you guys did you see. Oh yeah. Sweat of Reza's when he met Lily. He was sweating out his butt. That was disgusting. It wasn't just so Persian. It's so Persian. Like why people sweating their armpits but Persian sweating their ass. And then I sweating my back through my blazer. So you know I sweat a lot. So Persian persons would wear linen when they know they're going to sweat out their butt. Well anyway I think we should move on that note on the note of back sweat because I'm starting to feel some back sweat. I'm starting to feel like he's turning into a French niner. He's in the room. Frosting people is that frosting rooms. On that note why don't we move on to the real housewives. What we do. I just because it was briefly mentioned for a second. Watch what happens before move to the housewives. I just have two comments because our listeners right now will know what I'm talking about if they watched Watch What Happens Live. Number one Andy Cohen's new haircut is horrifying. You're in your your forties dude. What are you doing? I think it looks kind of cute. I have to say I think it looks cute. It makes him look extra cross-eyed. First of all that haircut is like kids have stopped getting that haircut. I mean come on stop it. And second of all he's obviously just had plugs. You can see plugs fuzz on his face. Like you need to give that shit a year. And by the way right now I'm looking at a picture of Brett Reynolds don't even ask why. But he needs to let that shit grow back in for a year and at least try to look natural. Don't get plugs and then like claw your bangs. What the fuck is wrong with him? That guy needs better friends. We are smart enough to realize that his hair was like a centimeter tall and now all of a sudden it has like five inches. It's four feet tall. It's just rude. Maybe he got some GG extensions. Okay second vote from Watch What Happens Live. Did you see when he Andy Cohen dissed Shirei who is no longer a cast member? They were making a joke and he was like oh is that going to be in the she by Shirei? Oh what the Shirei house? What was it called? Shirei. Shatto Shirei. Did you see that diss? I completely missed it. Yeah that was really bad. Well we have to talk about that Watch What Happens Live because Kim Zolciak is such a horrible fucking human being and it's just not said enough. And she comes on this show and not only is she still horrible and lying out her ass like usual they're calling. I mean she was basically called on her lies. He even did a segment about all of her lies. And she still continued to lie. And then Reza made a joke saying well if you were married to her husband would you want to hang out with anybody? I'd stay home all the time. And then he made that joke again later like forgetting that he had already made that joke. And then Kim later way later in the episode goes someone said Kim why don't you want to hang out with the girls? And she's like would you want to hang out with the girls? If you had my husband at home it's like Jesus Christ this woman can't even come up with a sentence. Get rid of her. Well you know I was actually surprised you know because we had talked about this on this podcast about how Kim was leaving the real house as of Atlanta and the rumors that she was walking out. I didn't realize that last night's episode was the Kim finale. I just thought it was a fight. I had no idea. Next week is a Kim finale technically. Oh yeah but either way I didn't know that that was what it was truly leading to. But I say good riddance she's such a stupid bitch. No well I'm sorry to break it to you but she's coming back she's getting another season of Don't Be Tardy for the wedding it's getting a different title but she still drives ratings and clearly there is not bad blood between her and Andy they are still buddies and she is still a bravo star. Well she's disgusting. But she's just but she's not fun. We talk about this every single time. She's not fun the way she used to be. She's because it used to be that she would say all these dumb things all the time and it would just be kind of funny but now she's sort of like she says the dumb things and she's sort of like she has this whole attitude like I'm just over everything. Right she's only fun like most people are. She's only fun like most people are when they're smoking cigarettes and drinking. Yeah exactly like or misspelling cat K to you know stuff like that like but now she just acts like she is a superstar and she's not but you know what I take Silas and knowing if you do a Google search for Kim Zolciak Google brings up the first picture that Google puts on like its little sidebar for their like sort of like fake Wikipedia is like a crazy old picture of her from before all the plastic surgery and all the fillers. With a bad wig? Yeah yeah exactly. Well while we're on Kim did you guys see the gossip that was posted on our Facebook today by god damn it I forgot I need to get that that open so I can not be a dick but it was all about Kim Zolciak's husband one of the one of the girls is dads who is in jail for molesting a 15 year old is being let out on like Christmas day or something. Oh my god I hope they're filming that for Kim season two. That'll be great. Oh yeah she's going to be so terrified y'all but then the comments on this article were really funny too because someone said oh wait that's he's not the father of both the kids he's just father one of the kids this is a bullshit article but didn't Kim get impregnated by an old police officer which I didn't know that I didn't know that she got impregnated by a much older police officer to the only the only person who has not impregnated Kim has Omid okay everyone else has so it's like there's nothing there's nothing shocks me at this point. I hadn't heard that about a police officer. Yeah that one of her kids was a police officer one of her kids was uh fathered by a police officer and one of them was fathered by a child molester it's like she's got the the criminal and the police involved next is right in the middle the mailman. There's no doubt that both of her daughters are going to be removed immediately and it's just going to be her kroy cash and whatever the other K baby is. Yeah um Kalamari the Kalamari with a K. I love her. Kill him in Jara kill him in Jerry oh it's kroy jr never mind anyway those girls are doomed they should just move out now they should ask bravo for a spin-off now uh yeah so anyway why why we just go into real house of Atlantis? Yeah do it do it up do it up um so this week's episode the big thing was there's a fight because everyone had changed their plans around so they could go to Anguila because Cynthia wanted to do a couples thing or something and then all the women convened at a at this restaurant even Nini and to accommodate Kim and then Kim was like um yeah I can't do it those dates after all and they all got mad at her and then they were like well Kim why why don't you want to go and she's like I can't fly I can't I can't travel and then she's like I'm 37 weeks pregnant you know because I'm not an un-spregnant and I've got four weeks left to have a bit it's like what what are you talking about so she first she says that she's eight months pregnant but then she said she's doing eight weeks so that was interesting well like Phaedra ever had like good math skills with regards to her baby the point is yeah the thing is she's hired to do a job which is to hang out with these bitches and Nini's on a sitcom and she's still showing up yeah it's like him can't even be bothered she only wants to do her own show and her own sense of that I'm not interact with anybody she's pulling a diva I will say this I understand that that is her job you are supposed to show up you are supposed to go on these trips because you want everybody there to fight as a viewer I want to see everybody fighting on vacation or on vacations and at dinner parties that is all I want from the housewives however if I were Kim would I want to get on a plane and go anywhere with those women no did you see the shit show that Africa became last year my god I would have gone insane well you're a housewife like that's what you do well I also liked how what they were all like I remember how much fun we had in Africa I'm like what since when since when did you know why it was fun it was fun because Marlo was there and I am missing Marlo this year I'm not missing Marlo I'm not missing her fuck off Marlo supposed to come on our podcast show up an hour late yeah no I'm much happier with the addition of Portia Portia who uh yeah she's working real hard on her charity for like 265 days you don't know people on Thanksgiving okay you guys we feed the people whenever they're hungry and they're hungry every day like 200 times a year it's pretty easy you guys I don't want to eat at two two yams today one for each of my uteruses they're wearing your twins I want yes because if you eat a yam you get half a twin and if you two yams you get a full set of twins but both vaginas have to be working for it to work out yeah we got we got some good yam so my vagina will work better because I want twins because I had twins in my family one time and you got twins and you know our twins gonna come out looking like your daddy well well well baby my my my brothers got twins and my aunt's got twins so we're genetically genetically we we gonna have we have the twins jeans no he would never be able to say genetically ever that's way too big a word he's like baby my aunting had a had a twin one so you know we got that cover we'll we'll have twin oh we got twins in the family and anything is that when I have yams sometimes I see double which I think means that the twins are on the way I love when she's like doctor could you tell me I got one question what would make it easier to have twin just split in half is that why so what was her thing she she um how what was her thing with the fucking twins it was yams because that will make her more pre fertile fertile fertile fertile what was the other thing what was the other thing it was yams and something something like africa I don't know I think it was I think it was just yams and then she was like she really felt that because there were some twins in her family and like and Cordell had some twins that she therefore you know it was a good shot that she would have twins too well baby one bad apple can't spoil the whole pot oh why why did you have an apple in the pot our apples supposed to be in pie you guys she is so horrific like I can't I love her I cannot wrap my brain around it she is so she is the worst of all time yeah every time she comes on screen I say you just a big old heifer like that girl you can color purple uh I I love her I think she's a wonderful idiot as opposed to like kenya who's just like a crazy bitch sorting with apollo and you know that was funny when they all went when she and faedra and walter and apollo went go carding and it only took about five seconds for poor walter to be discarded in the sidelines like everyone's like where's faedra's like where is that walter where did he go where where is he walter's like left in like the high holding balloons and something like goodbye walter we're never seen you run into a truck pump company okay well how embarrassing was that I mean kenya's like basically humping apollo's leg right in front of walter who and by the way apollo was loving it yeah oh yeah yeah he like yeah that's not gonna end well I mean has anybody even google to see if faedra is still with apollo because no faedra gonna end so great no faedra will the clause will come out and faedra will send a Kenya packing faedra is good you miss faedra doesn't have claws oh no they will come out I guarantee faedra has been very very sweet and fun lately you know walking around going to stores with candy with kegel balls up her vagina vagina but faedra will become a bitch oh yeah don't you worry well I I hope that she just stays as the same kind of bit she is now because I think she's like the she's like my favorite kind of she is I love she and candy together are like the funniest thing ever and what what a perfect you know speaking of faedra what a perfect way to handle crazy bitch Cynthia who nobody respects her likes and faedra more should they like nor should they exact including us but you know faedra could have been like you know what you just a big old hefa nobody likes you you can't model with an ass like that and your husband's a drunk and just be been done with it but she didn't she brought flowers and she was like listen I said some stuff I was just frustrated I had a shitty day giant focuses by the way you know yeah she she from the grocery she from the grocery will it wackens yeah they were like that dogs were waiting to come flying out of that thing but but she's smart enough to know that she can give Cynthia a big thing of flowers called a croak and Cynthia will never be the wiser you know I love faedra love her by the way one thing I was really happy about so as an extension to the shots of sunset party uh Roni and I also watched real house as of Atlanta together and when candy came on uh I tried to do the candy voice and failed but I'm also happy to report that Roni failed too so it's not just me it's that she has the hardest voice you're working on it you're working on it so she's sure it sounds like it's a horse sort of sounds like that's my plan you know I can't be talking about this girl you guys it is still Bill Cosby meets her with the frog and it is so offensive I can't just got cable balls up for the chat around what I don't remember right now I got my friend there she I'm just sick of can't I mean I know that candy is dirty I mean I get it she has a sexual she loves talking about sex sex but to me she's so nice and innocent and it just makes me so uncomfortable when she talks about sex I don't like it I just like the idea that she probably sounds like jingle bells when she walks around yeah what up there what if they're like the cheap brand so she can sell them and make a bigger profit and they're just those little things from China town with a little dinkle balls in it yeah I think those little like cat toys have like a little bell inside the plastic hat toys little stretch ball that's what she sounds that's what she sounds like it's like it's coming in Chinese box yo oh my god my i got i got my i got my i got my i got mike mike mike mike mike mike mike mike mike mike balls and the funny thing is she's a singer just imagine what that album sounds like it's like muppets take Manhattan those soundtrack well I love in the opening credits when they like show her voice it's like candy version and you just feel like once a year ago you know it's up in her nice voice not my strange punch to the face now you're getting there you're getting there give it a few more weeks I'm telling you I'm like I've actually literally sat listen to her say something and tried to mimic it exactly I just cannot make my voice do it um let's see let's see what is what else happened in the episode is there anything else or should we very too exciting or should we go on to I think Atlanta sucks I'm sorry well did well I guess we did talk about Kim what else happened on Atlanta really all just attacked her Kim sat on a box the box broke no big surprise she ate some pizza no big surprise she talked about Chick-fil-A no big surprise she talked about getting kicked out of her house no big surprise moved into the old house then she complained that there's stuff everywhere and she acted as if she had like some busy like charity function that was gonna happen at her house but of course no um sweetie almost jumped in front of a moving bus sweetie's bangs got lower and chunkier and worse than ever before Ariana did not get thrown into a pool for once real real had a few moments of like like wise she had of course real smarter than her mom so she said some smart things but that's basically it Nini acted like a diva bitch uh Nini said some funny Nini said some funny things but generally there was nothing going on there's no I love Nini Nini so funny to me this year well that brings me back to watch what happens live because Andy asked Kim if she watched the airdresser special with Lawrence and what's his buns and she was all offended that they were being mean to her and you know Kim is just so offended by everyone sliding her and suggesting that she stole her baby name and um Persian but was like hey but what about the gays in Atlanta they're not like Persian gays they were high heels and this guy was wearing like Glenda the good witch striped go-t-a-shoes or some stuff what the elves okay that's enough of racism but just shut up stop it here's the thing one of these days well no this probably won't have us you say Kim will realize one of these days that she's got like a gag order against her mom against her parents she's pushed away all these people she's she's moved away from everything maybe she might realize that she's the problem not all these other people but i don't know oh no sociopaths don't generally do that um now here's the thing um i want to move on to another real housewives show and you would think Beverly Hills would be next but i really would like to speak about Miami because there were too many amazing accents going on in the last episode with all the moms in town from all from all the boats they came off of i love my head nearly exploded okay it's like fleet week in Miami it was like i've never seen so many amazing wonderful accents on a real housewives episode we had russian we had french we had polish cuban cuban it was like it was the best i mean i will cut right to it these parents that all came in for like this this lenny the sederate lennies when they all started talking politics when when lenny's mom sort of oh no i don't know about obama i don't like what he's what he stands for obama you should only have to share if you want to share only share you only share what you want to share that is how it works that is how it goes and then also it's like he's an animal he's an animal and then parents mom is like hey tatama he's in so much hey tatama he's like sit down shut up or your stomachs and then then joanna's mom joanna's mom is like i don't know like to talk about politics uh well this is uh this is a very uncomfortable let us only talk about positive things what no we talk we talk about politics we talk about obama oh look at your house let me look at these house here oh did you clean it oh is this closet lock oh what kind of food nothing in the refrigerator i hate seda so much where is the vanilla ice cream for your father oh my god i hate her her oh my god slash love her there were so amazing things all those parents i mean i sort of got the old people are the best part about bravo i think i wrote this i think you did you talk about it constantly and it's really true but like the parents on this episode of miami stole the fucking show listen bravo is trying to stew younger by doing these these shows with like like start silicon valley and everything don't give us the oldies don't they realize who who gave people love they love the golden girls okay that's what should be here old people i used to be afraid of death and now i'm actually excited to die because i want to meet be arthur so bad oh that would be great i got to meet rheumoclanahan once and that was that was a joy for me be arthur and i share the same birthday so far you know whose birthday i share today Tyra banks Tyra banks jz marissa tomae and wink marndale explaining football to the friend who's just there for the nachos hard tailgating from home like a pro with snacks and drinks everyone will love an easy win and with insta cart helping deliver the snack time mvp's to your door you're ready for the game in as fast as 30 minutes so you never miss a play or lose your seat on the couch or have to go head to head for the last chicken wing shop game day faves on insta cart and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three grocery orders offer valid for a limited time other fees and terms apply credit karma is your evolved financial assistant making managing your finances simpler and more tailored to you join us at credit karma dot com to start your personalized financial journey today and continue to grow with our innovations credit karma evolve your finances wow i have Leonard Bernstein so mine outclasses all of yours put together i think i think i have jeff bridges too and i think there's someone really bizarre on my birthday by the way my mom shares a birthday i think with there's a lot of funny um accents going on well lisa you know one thing that that kind of cracks me up is that lisa's so confused as to why she can't have a baby but she's like a toxic dump site i mean but there's not one part of her that's natural like that girl would never pass an organic test every she looks like a bouncy house that's like running out of air starting to feel really bad for her though because i mean everything now is about like yeah i think my marriage is gonna fall apart if i can't pop a baby out and i'm like for i just i feel like that probably does happen i'm sorry to get dark but i feel like that probably happens in real life and i'm just like oh lenny is disgusting yeah but if you just marry some old rich guy because he's rich and he's only marrying you because you're fucking caught and he can like put big old triple Fs inside of you that's not really a relationship that's based on that should last okay exactly like i don't need i don't need to see those two at a pta meeting how about she eats something so she so her friggin uterus can come out of being a dried stage and can come back to life i mean she's like rail thin that's probably why she can't have a baby that's a good i think she's i think she probably just caught something off the pole you know i had a friend he used to tell me when i lived in New York he used to tell me that germs die on the metal when you're holding the subway you know the subway thing that uh whatever you know what i'm saying like you stand on the subway holding the bar and i'm like that's disgusting it's winter and everybody's sick and i'm gonna get sick and she's like no you're not gonna get sick the germs kill the germs kill the germs are killed on the metal and i walked around forever thinking that and i have a feeling that a bunch of strippers have been told that and probably killed their baby makers or maybe it was all just that friction that's going on on the pole you know maybe it's maybe she lit a fire up in there by accident she had to move up her pole yeah i was burned it was gross what did what did lea do this week did lea do anything that is pretty gross you're like oh that's hilarious her baby was burned inside the womb eggs well i mean if if it were to be born gg would just cut it with a knife so um well also in the episode um marisole had us sit down with um allen who was still furious that her gig at the hard rock was somehow south of ours her hostess and gig at the hard rock that has since been shut for like a like violation of like dirty food codes or something violation of like bad drag weaning um so i i don't really know if they settled their score but they made some sort of progress i think um and then lea did lea do anything did lea do anything lea both her son had a birthday party and she invited some people over and at that point they started to talk a lot of shit about marisole but then lea actually was like actually we should not be having this conversation because marisole isn't here to defend herself she's like i'm gonna shut this conversation down you know what i really don't understand how people are villainizing is that even a word it doesn't sound right but how are they turning her into a villain she doesn't do anything who's turning who's turning lea into every no marisole everyone marisole is not big villain i don't i just don't see it i i do not see it yeah i i refuse to make lea a villain and this is very tricky because i cannot get on team um allen no i can't i know but team allen is the same as team lea and i have i have a very difficult time with that so i just pretend like i don't know that we discussed that last week ben uh ronnie and i are obsessed obviously with lea but the allen thing brings her like stock down yeah but you know it doesn't bring her down that much because lea's still fantastic well you don't start you don't start really reevaluating stuff in your life until you see yourself look like an asshole on tv and get mean tweets from people who hate you and i have a feeling that lea is getting a lot of that this season just because of who she's associating with i mean so far she's been with joe what's his bones that big and now she's she doesn't care though she was on me she was on our podcast and she's like yeah everyone seems to hate me how fun is that well i think she cares because if we say you know we love you and she's like well at least someone does wow well that means that she is offended that people see that she's hurt that people don't yeah of course as anyone is but she's not i don't sense that she's doing the the jill's errand thing where she's changing her mind no i don't know i don't either i would never say that i like lea jill's errand's a horrible fucking human being speaking of jill jill's errand jill hi honey i've tagged you in this podcast you listening shut up so i was on twitter because we were live tweeting the shaza sunset or whatever and after i was reading them and laughing at us because i'm really into myself like that and jill's errand i know totally and i still have jill's errand i still follow that idiot and she's writing i mean she is still tweeting famous people like she's like hey reza when are we gonna hang out huh and hear no layers should i come to new york or oh hey um what the you know president obama love seeing who are you tweeting jill's errand no one is tweeting you back just stop it um you know and that and then when i tweeted her about like hanging out when i was in new york nothing radio sounds so there that shows why i made a mistake there she's a horrible horrible human being you know why god won't get you pregnant lisa because he's afraid that something might come out of you that resembles a jill's errand he's just gonna stop letting anybody get pregnant the world is done i just i hope that whoever whatever comes out at least looks like her mother-in-law that would be amazing russian julia child okay this is her this is how we make russian meatball you're you be a good you be a good wife and that is all that is all you do let me enter through that use my key to enter into the house i don't even know what i'm saying i'm just like trilling over here i'm not even making jokes i'm just making such a saying sentences here i am in the kitchen i am a hilarious lenny's mother i don't know should we move on the hills no there's two other things we have to talk about um did you guys think about what did you think about joanna's um like moment with her mom in the kitchen where we learned more about joanna and the fact that maybe she's such an ice hard bitch because she had to take care of her mom who was reeling from a divorce i mean i kind of actually like had a moment right there actually like joanna's mom i thought it was i thought it was a nice moment that joanna still is a whiny bitch yeah i like joanna's mom but she did unleash a sickness upon the world and she should be murdered for it that you should never forgive somebody for something like that let's play second of all like don't 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and you know what those people are not all little joanna's running around acting like assholes so i don't buy it and third of all i want to sleep with romaine lettuce i'm not gonna lie i want it bad it's not weird that romaine lettuce cuddled up against joanna's mom i wanted him to cuddle up against me and you know what i noticed this week um which i put on my blog is that romaine lettuce looks like the autopilot from airplane the inflatable autopilot if you think about it and if you don't if you don't know the reference go to b said blog.com and look at my real house on the random photo cap and you can find the picture right put them side by side yeah or just come find them on the facebook page oh yeah i'll put it on facebook page that's what i'll do yeah ben and ben and i both write uh real housewives recaps and i do redubs and all sorts of fun stuff and we put them all on the facebook page at facebook uh watch what crappins come on guys come on over so what was the other thing do you want to talk about um i just wanted to quickly talk about adriana for a second i mean that she was i mean one of these recurring themes here is that she has commitment issues and i'm wondering if you guys think that her man is cheating on her or if she's gonna like getting like what's gonna happen with her relationship dude she better lock that down she's been wasting too much time you see she he comes from good parents all right those are two classy motherfuckers okay and she should be so lucky to have a guy like that even though he has this ridiculous plan to have a yacht she needs to get with frederick and his family because i agree you know what i have i have trust issues as well i probably will never fall in true love because i cannot trust anybody because i've been fucked over too hard to really truly ever trust anybody that's a person but but the the thing is i'm dreaming of finding someone who's such a pussy that they give me whatever i want i can yell at them and be write them all day long and not even have sex with them if i don't want to i don't understand what she is waiting for it to me that's like the dream relationship yeah you sound like lisa vanderpone because otherwise she could be stuck with someone like dr karen siara's boyfriend rudolfo whatever who is like who is clearly cheating on her clearly cheating on her i guess we'll find out more this week um but uh yeah she gave it to his frederick's parents were awesome and they're loving too and classy and they were weighted what were they even doing him bravo they like this oh do you remember when we met jakusto and went to Easter at his home every eight brie oh listen listen to draw the body tell stories about cat under nose in front of me tara and then we asked me to go and question yeah what yeah they're classy and she but she just better hope that those parents don't get to know her too well because she's kind of horrible i would not want my son marrying her listen these these people have been married for 50 years and clearly been living this wonderful elegant life and the way they the the coronation of their 50 years is that they spend the night with the tackiest people in miami and then she puts on like a share outfit with like wings and boa accoutrement i mean it was just like she had to bring some brazil what did she say like i have to all it was a carnival outfit brazilian flavor and it's like they don't want that well no one wants that no one likes that flavor but it'll ask you to bask in robins just get rid of it wait right i don't want to do it right i think he has to live up to my standards standards but you know he has to live up to my standards my standards standers being hired brazilian pal i like pal i always like presumably for same thing like pal i'm going to some pal well what standers want to celebrate their 50th anniversary with some young slut and their son anyway well i don't think that's somewhere fine go to disney lamb it leave some code up go to oh hi sit down shut up and be married already sit down and shut up i really don't want to hear any more of your marriage so if you're vagina shut up shut up all right all right you're a woman your boobie's insanity everything you have to say sit down shut up i really had to watch this nobody's wedding i had to watch it down shut up i leave who invited you anywhere who told you to get married for 50 years who told you this is my party my anniversary you really do that so well i mean uh please stop bothering with candy and just stick with us yeah just do him as candy let me tell you something i really do not want to talk to you about my candy bars yeah so be quiet who told you who told you to say they think about my candy bars this is my mom my vagina oh what is that oh i love it at the way did you guys see we got a lot of comments on fb uh from people bitching about that comedian chick who was doing leon watch what happens what is her name you know her right she came on house i've hoed him and and she's been meaning to come on this show by the way oh i wasn't on that damn she was filling in for me the day i was either that day uh yeah i think you were she was it what's her name amy phillips she's sweet amy phillips right oh amy does the amazing remona singer yeah yeah she's very very talented and she's been doing lea black and i you know people were saying on the page like you guys need to be doing lea black but i think she does a very very funny lea black they were playing a game and again i'm admitting i watched fucking wwhl or whatever but she was um she was the bartender and lea was one of the guests and the game was does lea know the celebrity or not and so he was just naming random celebrities and she's like sure i know him but the fake lea would answer first and she was very very funny she's like of course i know i'm like got him off the murder rap woman we just need to start up a puppet show you know we start a puppet show we have a lea puppet we'll have a thomas puppet we'll have an elsa puppet we can have a puppet for i don't know we have a weird candy puppet too i don't know we can have to have a karen sierra i hate her you have to have well and and the mother what's my lusero lusero lus well i love the thing about karen that's so bad it's normally i hate the parents of people like this but i love her mom i hate i hate he i hate he i hate him so much i hate i hate him you know it's really sexy um on a date why don't you clean the crap out of my teeth yeah yeah well she does that because he doesn't like her talking gossip like he's asked her many times to shut the f up about these women he doesn't want to hear about the women he doesn't care about all the gossip and she's like okay honey okay okay just sit down just sit down all these women are so mean to me honey it's like he said millions of times he doesn't want to fucking hear it one oh what let me i just want to give you a cleaning don't worry i'm not going to talk about anything you don't want to hear about i just want to give you a cleaning all these women are so mean to me does that start does this start let's have a baby and freeze it how do you feel about freezing a baby huh no see she's smart she knows he's gonna run away so she's like you can't run away because i have your teeth under a very sharp thing so do you want to freeze babies with me or not we can't freeze an egg but we can freeze an embryo stick right now in me and let's freeze it you know i still want to keep things casual but i was thinking we can have a baby and freeze it that's it just baby yeah totally casual just a baby just a baby you're all you're so you've had so much plastic surgery that you have a turtle nose how old i mean that's like rings on a tree to tell how old your ass is there is no way that you've even got anything to freeze up there that'll be the most useless popsicle ever oh man i wouldn't say useless popsicle don't adopt somebody go adopt go adopt a three-legged dog like all the other idiots no she has that weird parrot she doesn't need a dog she has a parrot i think it's a macaw parrot but it may be one of them have you guys seen that there's there's this brand of not brand but there's a type of parrot that's like it doesn't fly and it's like endangered and there's like not a lot of them and i think she has one of them do you know what i'm talking about like let this wing so she could talk to it and it couldn't get away oh there's like an idiosyncratic type of parrot i don't know i think that's that's what i'm going parrot i'm sorry you want to fly away but you're going to have to listen to me talk about how i want to have babies why the parrot want to fly away why you want to fly away why why the parrot marisole why the parrot who the hell is this parrot who the hell are you parrot marisole i am told for this parrot hey hey marisole oh yeah this you think he is marisole marisole all right we have to move on to Beverly Hills because we are going to sit and do these impersonations for hours on end um Beverly Hills was dollsville except for what are you talking about do you see i said except i said except i said except i wrote one of the most bitter Beverly Hills recaps that i've ever written and that's saying something because i'm a horrible human being and for me to get that dark to where it's only episode four or five and someone's already saying like that's a little bit too dark for me i was pissed off do you want to just say first the first 15 minutes were interesting and then the rest was dull i just want to say this like can somebody okay ronnie can you please do a shut up mountain for kyle because i fucking hate kyle oh my well kyle was a fuck up man shut the fuck up man i cannot can you guys fucking believe that she just said shut the fuck up the fucking table can you believe that what the fuck is wrong with her who fucking talks to other women like fuck like kyle said fuck 20 times they're just floating around today of all the women just saying shut the fuck up over and over again and one of our one of our readers was like oh and this is the woman who keeps defending her piece of skank trash niece paris hilton who has her dirty racist uh sailor mouth i mean what a fucking i'm not trying to like i i have a sailor mouth too but i'm just gonna say this she is the biggest fucking hypocrite ever and yeah all our hypocrites about it we admit what we are no we admit it we admit that we're horrible bitches but here's the thing kyle is now the worst she is i don't know i i used to like her first Adrienne is the worst for me right now well again you know what i think that kyle is even worse than Adrienne because kyle is a faker at least Adrienne is like an outward bitch like yeah next week she's threatening to sue brandy for slander i mean come on well so now here's the thing i mean all these women are idiots i think lisa was the only one who had a hat on our shoulders because you know you know i'm i'm team brandy but even even brandy was was out of line because okay let me let me state my case here brandy saying shut the fuck up she really should not have said that she could have said can you please like it's it's it's not it's not anything can you please stay out of it there's a polite way to do that and that's that's what lisa was trying to get her to say and thank god lisa was able to get her say it but she was like refusing to even like listen to the fact that that was actually an adult way to handle the situation brandy is a trailer trash hope and you are expecting too much from her and the truth is this i hate to say it but taylor kind of had a point also when brandy was uh when brandy announced that she had a book deal and then she was like wow it's funny that women can't be happy for other women and thank you no no i will tell you why i'm not saying that brandy's it's two against one right now buddy good luck well oh well you know who's also in the majority of that table kyle and her friend so i guess that's i guess that's what that means also well guess well here's you know here's why i think it's different because i'm not saying that brand brandy's book is different than taylor what taylor was doing for sure but i'm just saying brandy can't do this bullshit of life well like it's funny how women just can't be happy for other women it's like you know that's kind of that's what eddie's sibrian she did on her eddie sibrian she did on her a lot she's been busy too she's been busy too eddie sibrian has cheated on her a long time ago and has moved on to leon rimes three years ago taylor's book came out less than six months after her husband killed himself because no no but i'm not arguing about the book i'm just saying the point when she said like when she says it's funny how like why can't women just be happy for other women because you could have yet well said at that point you're absolutely right but the thing is and again brandy's brandy's just horrible and that's who she is it's like i don't you know i don't hate the dog for having three legs it's who he is i just think it needs to be put down like i don't hate it but you know brandt the other ladies they're horrible like taylor here's the difference with taylor okay and i'm i'm sorry people that you're going to probably hate this because this is not very nice but taylor armstrong was a con woman she changed her name she conned people out of a shitload of money with her husband as her partner she starts needing a storyline she starts telling people that her husband is beating her when there's no proof of that he has no idea that she's telling anybody this there's no proof of it she instead of getting a real doctor and going to a shrink they bring this idiot in from bravo who's been everything like from a psychiatrist to a dog groomer on this channel he's not a real doctor it's still with a coffee in disguise they start spreading all this shit that he's abusive russell doesn't know that this stuff is being said this is stuff that was cut out of the season by the way where she's accusing him of all this stuff russell never had any idea of this taylor starts writing a book about how russell is abusing her russell still has no no idea about this russell's fine with i mean uh taylor is fine with russell until they threatened to fire taylor off the show because she's getting her husband russell to sue everybody for slander for talking shit about her if you'll remember that remember that when she was threatening to sue everybody and blaming russell well who do you think was doing it it was her so they're saying listen cannot have your husband around if he's suing if he's going to sue people he cannot film on the show anymore so she gets left out of the big hawaii trip and so what does she do she fucking dumps her husband and tells everybody that he's abusing her and what does he do he kills himself so fuck you taylor it's not really the same thing you're a lot you're a compulsive fucking liar who's making money off somebody who probably never even touched you and ruining the reputation of a man who's got an innocent child there and you're taking this child at book signings about how this man you know first it was oh he he made a pizza i so without ronnie take a bradish ronnie ronnie you're having you're having a susan sugar baker meltdown right now this woman is too fucking much so for her to throw judgment anybody else listen honey you already did your damage and he's um hung up his towel so just shut the fuck up already and stop judging everybody else the only shit i told you to shut the fuck up the only judgment i want to hear is from yolanda why can't you women speak normal why what's wrong with you women why why can't we just like sit and speak privately and please speak normally i don't understand these things hey mother fuck i'm going to inject lamb into my spine fuck her i love yolanda what do we think about um all of these people i mean this was kind of like i obviously kim put this weekend together and it was kind of weekend it was kind of to celebrate her sobriety and then these women get shit faced well was it they sent sobriety party at the end but was it a sobriety party i know i mean she kept i know it is hilarious like they're going to oh hi it's like a place to celebrate you know really relax and get calm and like chill out and maybe you know go for a jog with yolanda at five a.m but i mean these women we're like okay kim go to bed we're gonna get drunk you sucka and what a what a way to celebrate what a way to celebrate someone's sobriety by saying things like well the sober person had to leave which is too bad because you know it's always more fun to be to not be sober that's really great way to tell that which is another reason why kyle is awful and a lot of kim's problems come from kyle and her shitty shitty sisterly ways i mean i'm sorry but like if you were there and kim who is clearly a fragile pony fresh from rehab probably needs some support and she probably needs to play some fucking part cheesy by the fire and kyle is drinking like a god damn fish and flipping around and showing her huha by doing gymnastics and not giving a shit about her sister no wonder kim is fucked up and it's kyle's fucking fault and it's another reason why she's a hypocritical fucking bitch yeah she's pretty horrible a lot of rants tonight on the podcast yeah you think i started it once you open them up open once you let your stuff self get that matter to housewife it's off and i blame jill zaren because she's the first one you sent me off like this it's true now you were angry from the gecko what didn't you have a rant right off the bat of the podcast probably but look at all these fucking housewife shows i have to watch to do this show i mean with all this brava like the other night when we were together we watched shaws which just you guys know that that show puts me out i just hate that i hate those people so we watched that one then we watch it lana which i actually do love it lana but then andy colin's face pops up and it's like you know what i'm gonna pull a rustle if i have to watch any more of these shows right in a row i need a break between these shows i could watch them one after the other me too but i do want i want the Beverly Hills season to to pick up a little bit it sounds like next week of will when paul calls brandia bitch which is real classy paul is disgusting and the fucked up thing is it's like paul is there defending his indefensible wife adrian and calling other women bitches which is so disgusting he's doing that and the funny thing at the end of this he gets nothing because then adrian turns and stabs him in the face and their whole divorce is going to shit and she is dragging him through the mud and he is sitting here for the next you know five months of this shit airing and he is going to be defending this woman who fucks him over shouldn't happen to a nicer person oh when they were at that dinner talking about an atrian is so stupid you know that's something that people are really pointing out today i mean this woman really is a bimbo and it was so funny because she's like what did i say what did i do and yelanda also he did bunker by the way yeah yelanda's like what is it with these women how did they talk to each other women should not talk to women like this and she's like yeah who talks to another woman like that hey guys who talks to another woman like that hey guys i got a question who talks to another woman like that it's like oh now you've found somebody else to explain that to you so you can repeat it over and over again and you're meanwhile you're totally fine with your husband using the c-word and the f-word on women there's no problem with that and what about uh kyle at the end of the day at the end of the episode when everyone's getting along kyle and then lemmeau is like look decides to just dredge up that whole stupid shut up yeah it was brandy not completely correct where she was like um kyle is this really the appropriate place to do that you dumb fuck yeah and you know they mention that like the thing is when brandy gets riled up she can't let go of something and she you know when when she's when she's not talking about something you just let let sleeping dogs lie because then they started to go at it again and it was all because of kyle kyle just had to bring it up well she is brandy is just like a petal little child you know lee says like if i'm not gonna let you draw on the tablecloth unless you say you're sorry for saying the f-word yeah you know and brandy is like a little child but they're all terrible i mean kyle told kameel in the first season that she was a fucking liar and she said that at the dinner table as i recall yeah it's like we have like our people's expectations are a little bit out of control if they think that they can put brandy anywhere without her saying the f-word so guess what people it's going to be said the only good person on the show is lisa obviously and i will tell you laugh my ass off when she was doing her american accent yeah and she's a great kim accent she's a phenomenal kim accent yeah i can't come because i'm late i got things to do well what about brandy telling kim on the way to the bathroom all these people want you to fail Jesus bro what the hell look it's a it's an effed-up thing to say but she's saying exactly what i'm thinking because it's like yeah your own sister wants you to fail yeah she does yeah well i love that they're showing clips for next week um and kim's at least is like oh so what's it like being sober that that must suck and kim's like um well you know just because i'm sober doesn't mean i don't still hate certain people whatever and carol's like i feel like you're talking about me yeah yeah she's like you know as a as a as an activity to bring the the friends together i thought it was great you know to help my relationship with my sister no not so much not so much people who liked each other still like each other people who didn't like each other still don't and yes i mean kyle i blame morris oh god morris like right when right when uh right when she says that i just finished the re-dev so that's why the preview is like in my head but um when she's saying kim that's not fair whatever morrisio's like putting his arm around her it's like oh these men protecting their horrible women you know it's like they're protecting their investment it's like they're putting siding on their house just stop it you bought an ugly house just let it buy siding and buy siding you mean tits yes exactly um mule grammar really got out she she got out all right with this you know because she can just disappear after all this is i missed me some kameel well i'm sorry i don't i mean she was horrible i'm excited that we get to see more of her boyfriend next week because he's hot oh and then she's gonna stick her to like snake tongue down his throat oh she is kind of a bony mess yeah just remember after i said ten seconds ago that i loved her just remember how horrible she was you know and remember that people don't change she's just being quiet because she's on tv now but i don't buy a woman yeah well do we have any other strong thoughts because we are going quite long no i think that i've probably alienated everyone who liked me and i think that that's a happy way to end i just think that we should celebrate your birthday bend by all of us going to a spa and then we can all finger ourselves with some mud oh i'm sorry to tell you that's that i'm way ahead of you on that front that's happening right now i got some mud and some giggle balls uh you guys Kim was getting a little bit too frisky with that mud it was it was disturbing it gave her more pleasure than the gay bulldog i don't i don't like Kim being around mushy things just in general whether it's mud or anything else it just feels like those are two things i shouldn't match tossing a chicken salad with her uh man hands and fake diamond rings god bless her god bless her she does make the world go round and by the way when she was wearing some she's wearing some glasses during once you know i thought she looked fantastic in them is that just me did you guys notice that now she looked great in those glasses and she also looked great in her uh green quasi cheetah moo moo yeah everybody you know what we need to do is pray and thank god for each other because that's what peaceful people do cut to her horrible sister rolling her eyes going what the fuck is wrong with my dumb drunk whore sister i mean seriously is horrible well people always turn to god when they're in jail it's like you shut up it's gonna be over and we don't have to pray about it okay thanks yeah yeah all right well i'm gonna go off and uh this has this has been a wonderful way for me to spend an hour and a half of my birthday um talking about these crazy bitches um and i've been enjoying it thoroughly but i don't know how much longer i can take so don't don't rustle yourself okay guys love yeah all right everyone uh remember uh matt's at life on the m list ronnie's at tv gas and i'm at beside blog the podcast is at what crappins and we're also on facebook uh facebook dot com slash watch our crappins and leave us a review on iTunes you should subscribe to us on iTunes and listen to us on stitcher too you know anywhere you can listen to us just listen until all your friends uh because we need validation very very we do we have fragile egos and we need all the help we can get yeah oaks yeah so um thanks for listening everyone and we'll talk uh next week we'll see you next time guys bye guys if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the side show network of launch the new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like reggie wats taut glass lies a slice finger slicing driving friends with it for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name wasa our very own own benjamin that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy there's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and i love you a few days ago brook two dean posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments thumbs up brook geico also wants to make a comment in just 15 minutes you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to geico and nothing says inspiration better than saving money well except for those posters that say things like teamwork excellence and make it happen hashtag keep climbing hashtag savings geico 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance if you like watch what crappins you can listen ad free right now by joining wonderie plus in the wonderie app or on apple podcast prime members can listen ad free on amazon music before you go tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wonderie dot com slash survey in a quiet suburb a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother but this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her and she wasn't the only target because buried in the debt to the internet is the kill list a cache of chilling documents containing names photos addresses and specific instructions for people's murders this podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger and it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy follow kill list on the wonderie app or wherever you get your podcasts you can listen to kill list and more exhibit see true crumb shows like morbid early and ad free right now by joining wonderie plus check out exhibit see in the wonderie app for all your true crime listening