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Nobody knows except my pillow at night, or through the day how many it feels I have to find. Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crap is a podcast dedicated to all things Bravo. My name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo TV. You can find me at Life on the M-list and joining me as always are Ben Mandelker from Beside Blogs. Say hello Ben. Why hello. And Ronnie Karam from TVGasm. Ronnie say hello. Well thank you to all of our listeners out there. If you guys are still tuning in we just taped a 55-minute episode just discussing Jill Zaren's appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen and the second part of the Real Housewives of New York Reunion. And we still have so much to talk about so we should probably jump in and get to the Real Housewives of New Jersey and we will follow that up with the Real Housewives of Mejami. Let's do that. Let's talk about all the housewives. Okay you guys. Lovely idea. What the hell happened. Wait, wait, I'm so sorry. Just doing these voices reminded me that we should say that a million-dollar decorator is featuring some art and wall lawns below so they all have art to look forward to. I wonder if I can renovate Kelly Osborne's vagina. Oh we know with this house news it needs a Sonja Morgan toast Robin. This needs chevron. You know every time I pass a chevron gas station I think how stylish. It's like when I get the popcorn at Fresh Neezy. It's such a lovely treat. I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm literally just saying words. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The point is it's the best show ever and it is coming back very very soon. I care about that more than the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There I said it. Oh god you're gonna be alone on that boat. This podcast is gonna be really disjointed. Yeah we're like you're gonna bury that at the very end aren't you and it's gonna be me talking by myself to some crickets. It's gonna be you being like do you remember that part where they talk with that client. We're just gonna say this. Where's that Asian gong? You'll gong you'll gong me right off. So Real Housewives of New Jersey. Okay if you really need three parts people really. Do we need this? Um well. No it was fun it was fun it was a lot of screaming the guys just you know strung their cocks around and everything you know it was more of the same. It was a lot of good show. It was a lot of good Joe lies. Good juicy Joe lies. Yeah who cares. That's some bullshit. Who cares. I don't care. What do you care. Are you gonna go to Joe? Are you gonna go to jail Joe? What jail? What? Who knows jail? Who cares about jail? What do you think I care about jail? I don't care. Fuck that Andy. Fuck it. I don't care. Um so if you ever committed a murder murder who cares about murder Andy. That's bullshit nobody cares. I was just happy to see Kim D make a rousing appearance and I was shocked that she and and come on and never met. She must have been so excited. That bitch is fighting so hard to get on that show as a permanent cast member. It is it is almost as pathetic as Jill Zarin on Watch What Happens Live. Yeah she doesn't even need it. I mean she runs with the big boys. Okay she doesn't need to become a show. Again that should have been one of the main questions asked by Andy or one of the viewers. Who in fact are these fucking boys you roll both? And where are you running to? Right I mean are we talking about like Chris and Albert B and she's rolling with the black water sales? I mean really who are these people? She runs with them whoever they are. She runs. She can't run in those heels. You start teetering out like a newborn foal. Listen her hair fangs are very aerodynamic. She can run like the wind. Um so Kim's explanation for all of this ruhaha was. So Kim did Teresa know that something was going down? Well she knew that something was going down but she didn't know what was going down. So she knew that something was going to go down with Melissa. Well she knew something was going to go down with Melissa but she didn't know what what it was. So she knew that some guy was going to come accuse Melissa being a stripper and a whore on national TV. Well she did she knew that but she didn't know all of it. That's cool. Do you guys do either of you know what's going on relationship wise between Teresa and Kim at this point because she essentially without directly saying it trashed. I mean she didn't trash Teresa but she exposed the fact that Teresa was in on the entire Melissa setup. So is Teresa is she like dead to Teresa now? Are they buddies? Teresa's too dumb to understand what happened I think. Yeah Teresa wasn't even listening half the time. She doesn't know what's going on. No she had that she had that duty or that gorga rage going on. I mean yeah that gorga rage is pretty fucking scary man. They both got it. They both broke Joe and Teresa both broke and they start that hard blink and their faces turn red and their eyes and they squeak. They squeak a lot. Yeah you did you told me she was a stripper. And the funny thing is you're doing that voice right now and that sounds also just exactly like Joe gorga. Yeah exactly. I actually loved how basically it was like an hour of Teresa denying that she ever called Melissa stripper and then finally at the end of the hour Teresa slips and was said something like like you learned a lot in that strip club and it was it was like thank you just as a bartender as a bartender you learned a lot of the bartender in that strip club. Right unless it just throws her hands up in the air like um okay there you just you just you know she's fucked yourself over again and she Teresa still probably doesn't realize what she did. Ronnie are you still as much of a hater on Melissa as you were last week? I have softened a little bit in the seven days. No I hate Melissa I think she's fucking horrible and I think we're going to really see how horrible she is as the next seasons come up because this was just her open you know she's already slipped a couple of times and showed us that she's horrible but just you wait Henry Higgins just you wait I hate her I think she's an opportunist but you know granted I hate her also because she was a hot stripper who got a rich husband and I was a fat waiter at her age not getting a rich husband so part of it is just flat out jealousy why lie why lie but you know what I want to know more about I want to know more about this scandal where we're in Melissa endorsed a rival posh boutique with the same spelling I would like to know what that's all about and how come no one's ever mentioned that there are dueling posh's did you see how angry that got people like these strip mall boutiques apparently are a big fucking deal you know there actually is a posh down the street on sunset but it has a slightly different spelling why aren't we recording out of there right now that you know they would probably love us actually they went there real housewives of Beverly Hills they went there one episode but you know where we need to go Kyle's new boutique just open we need to go over there and check that shit out with the vowel i ain't going over there yeah um yeah no I was I was very interested to know about this this posh rivalry and I I partly wonders if the rival posh is run by Kim G with with quotation marks around the G she's doing like her little jazz dance in there yeah she ain't gonna do nothing okay so back to the husbands for a second why do you think Caroline's husband did not show up really because he hates all this shit yeah he hates he was fucking some waitress at work in his brownstone apartment do you not think that he's on the payroll the way Caroline and all of her children are so he can afford not to show up i mean Jacqueline obviously didn't show up last year but he looks like he barely tolerates any of this yeah every time they go on a vacation he looks like he wants to shoot himself in the head so this is not like i'm not surprised he didn't show up yeah i think he just shows up at all just to keep Caroline and her and his kids making money i think you're right he knows they're not going to get a job and he doesn't want to be a failure as a father so just let them slurp up whatever they can do in this you know right i mean Lauren has to make some money so she can pay for her next lap band surgery you know it's going to take about three more months before she has it again salad just don't arrive on your doorstep for free by the way um to get back to the point about Teresa's squeaking i just like to say that um on our facebook page that uh Caitlyn Riley Alar um equated it to say she said it sounds like an ashtray making love to a dying bird and i oh my god that's genius yeah i i just felt like that had to be shared i know we passed it but i wanted to come back because i was just looking right now to see what people were saying and that was really i would really like to see somebody make some artwork out of that visual yes an ashtray dying bird rape situation everybody has a fetish yes that is the art project of the week and make sure there's a sexy j involved a sexy j must be part of it you know it's funny like i literally what so i watched the first half of this reunion sunday night and i passed out halfway through and then i watched the second half this morning and i just i for the life man really can't remember much of what happened it's just it was just this repetitive like screaming you know i mean there was some talk about the fight between ritchie and joe when right didn't he say something like yeah you you're lucky you're lucky i didn't punch the glasses into your face i just punched them off your face and grabbed your balls or whatever i mean these these straight men really love to grab each other's crotches well did we talk about um joe gorga being a stripper if we've mentioned no we haven't talked about that but you two think he's hot so why don't you leave that part of the discussion while i go vomit okay um well the yeah it turns out that little joe midget joe is the stripper the whole time he was uh chippendell and he wore an elephant on his wiener okay i'm sorry was this like was this like thunder from down under or like some kind of like knock off chippendales because i thought you know the chippendell guys that are on the amazing race right now are like six four buff hotties not bald midget trolls with over you know steroided arms chippen smells i think it was probably the chippendell's because look i've seen it's true it's true i've seen him make it i mean he's he's got it going on and he's very well waxed mm-hmm yeah i i totally believe he loves to show it off i think i think he you know i think that he should pose for playgirl just put it out there that would be good this playgirl even it makes sense i think it existed online really do i look it up right now you could you know uh you know who posed for playgirl uh is joey from real world hollywood he he recently died but he was a playgirl he was a playgirl so did that bristle pailin's husband what was that called levi but levi didn't leave i didn't show i think i only showed the booty but joe showed it all oh was it maybe no he's dead he's dead don't talk about his dick i'm just talking about the photo that guy was a dead man walking we had a long time to get used to him being dead when he was still alive he was he was on his way out the minute we met him yeah wow wow well it's true i mean i don't even mean it in a mean way he was just a very lost drug addicted guy you know it was a sad case and he had everybody terra read died and everyone's gonna be like didn't didn't she die like four years ago she just died now oh my god oh my god that's true so true some people just look like spotted bananas it's like it's almost time for you to get eaten speaking of rachael zos um new nbc pilots spotted banana they should hire a spotted banana to wear a beret star as rachael zo i would actually watch that exactly i think that'd be hilarious just a banana walking around oh i'm actually looking over the facebook page me too i'm like i can't think of anything this is so funny you can i tell you a few more things um so kathy was just sitting on the edge of the couch trying to pretend like she mattered and she doesn't she just kept this she sat there the entire time bulging her eyes and had given this look on her face like man i'm glad no one smelled that far you know oh yeah entire time like whoo i just let one out but no one notices speaking of kathy and rachael they andi did bring up the fact that rachael is disgusting and wouldn't he be embarrassed to talk to you know to mention his uh morning erections in front of his children and then kathy who i thought was a class act was like it's my alarm clock yeah that was really gross poop first poop first ah by the way someone someone did mention that uh martha raditz should be should be moderating these reunions and i would agree with that if you want to get agreed well i really wish that andi would come to the reunions more like he did to that jill zaren interview i mean he wasn't exactly hard hitting but he didn't back down from anything and he smiled the whole time which was hilarious like his body slamming the woman but still smiling um and i really wish he would show up to the reunions like that because i feel like it's like oh you know tressa's a villain this year or aviva's a villain less this year so you know we'll give it 10 minutes to talk about something else and then we'll come back and slam a viva again and then we'll go 20 minutes and then come back to aviva again or in this case taurisa i mean taurisa can't remember what happened 20 minutes ago that poor woman just looks lost yeah well you know i think the reason why andi was able to ask harder questions on jill zaren is because a he probably does not love her and would like i personally would like to sort of go at her a little bit and also he knows he doesn't have to deal with her you know he just he can ask whatever questions he doesn't have to worry about upsetting her and like she might leave the franchise or something like yeah she's she's no she's no longer on the payroll he was willing to give it to her last night but the others like you know for jersey especially you know they filmed seasons three and four back-to-back but i don't think that they're even in pre-production right now on the new season of jersey so i don't know who the fuck's coming back i don't think that he wants to piss anybody off right now well the rumor is that they're going to bring people to be on taurisa's side whatever that means like her hairdresser and i don't even know who else could they say in old banana in big sunglasses yeah someone from like the basken robins in the same strip mall as the posh which posh we're talking about here because that does make a difference franklin likes it downtown oh my god are we gonna have to watch are we gonna get a spin off of kephace i would have my god with laurin no the egg salad chronicles be excel chronicles and it would be like 30 minutes my delivery of eggs didn't arrive today why don't we gonna do about the egg salad every episode would be so sherry what do you have them for lunch i don't know laurin what do you want to have for lunch i don't know who delivers laurin you know who delivers he could have delivered every day let's look again get out the menus all right i'll bring the stack and then they'll just look through menus and that'll be the whole show every time because they have no customers episode one can always and then albie will come in and knock something over and laurin will get mad and vita she and vita will make mozzarella and a sink in the back that's supposed to use for hair and then and then tabatha coffee will come in and do a tabatha takes over episode synergy people there's synergy at work do you know how much i would love tabatha takes over kephace that would be it would be it would be perfect for November sweetie and then maggie from gallery girl can come in and um be an intern and get fired the first day at lizzico was gonna be like i heard this last i'd have only got my heart on the other eye i got my heart on a camera it's asked me to do anybody's makeup i'm gonna tell my dad and they're gonna really regret that and she'll tell me walk in and be like i really don't think that you have any idea how to go so i'm just gonna go to paris and no i don't i don't want to know i don't want to know back i feel excited i don't i don't want to tell me which aisle the teeth stick is it i need coloring for my teeth so like the art that we have at kephace literally boggles my mind it's within frames that we put up and there's egg salad in the middle oh my god how are they like avants? avants okay so what else happened on god damn jersey jack lost her god damn mind and was screaming in the middle of you know different storylines and different questions that chris tell them that you didn't meet me in vegas as a stripper tell them that you met me at a trade show which is also powed for stripper convention yeah yeah i think it's actually worse to to meet someone at a trade show than it is at a right like because you say i met i met you at a trade show i'd be like that is the most embarrassing that you could ever tell about yourself okay and for those of you who don't know what trade shows are they're typically girls and bikinis going on top of like cheesy mid-sized yachts okay you know who's that you know who's that trade shows patty lebel as we saw earlier this year okay that's a sort of woman you find and i'm not saying i mean everyone loves patty lebel but do you want to marry patty lebel i don't think so uh the tv gazam recap are um um trade show very carefully for his trade show in chicago which is obviously not a cover for stripping everyone knows it's hookers who work the trade show circuit thank you so true good job good line what what trade show were they was did she wanted to believe that she was out anyway like what what plan that she was a freaking waitress supposedly so what weight would trade so would see that this picture of her waitress which so i know that you guys can't see it but jackaland surgery i didn't notice it as much on on dull tv but in still pictures you really see how freaky she looks i mean her whole mouth is new and her whole face her nose is new and her cheeks are new too and terisa kept calling her ass out on it last night you know what she's looking more and more like a trout i'm sorry i'm just gonna say it she looks like a fish she does but with um a weird underbite it's weird the whole thing is weird and if you're going to go to all that trouble on your face why you still got five rolls on you girl yeah it's true all right get that shit taken off get some shape where lord knows you can find one of any well because you know it's already a bravo she probably wants to have the lap band but her standard of success with that is probably looking at caroline and laurin and it's not very inspiring no not at all she's like what i'm just gonna eat what did you guys think of the part where um terisa when she was fighting with jackaland she was like um well caroline you're the one who told me that jackaland was a stripper i'm gonna tell you right now i actually believe what can have terisa's mouth i do think at certain points caroline and jackaland have been at odds and i would not be surprised that caroline was like um yeah she's married to my brother and she's a total stripper and i feel like it was addressed i mean i feel like it was addressed on the show and that she admitted that she was a stripper didn't she like when they were in when they were on that cruise ship and she was like stripping on the stripper pole and she looked like she like a fish just got dropped into a bowl of hot on her she was just swimming away and i think she said something like yeah all that hard work paid off or something i don't i don't know i don't remember but listen if i were jackaland i'd be embracing the fact that that she was once a stripper because it means that at one point in her life she was actually like super hot perhaps yeah like hopefully people can start looking at her and seeing memories or something i don't know such an asshole i'm such an asshole i am so caddy and mean like i don't really think this you know actually i am matt i actually really am do we need to do we need to go down to pink berry and invite mj and ashley to come with us you know i have you know what i have some chinese leftovers i mean eat out and i was at casket today and i bought some bow that i'm very excited to make oh my god i've been trying to rob vegan bullshit i'm gonna kill i'm gonna kill the mount like the male man came today i wanted to dead dead rob vegan eating fruits and vegetables just bulls it you know i've got my house steaks because i got a dehydrator full of kale like oh my god ronnie you don't need to eat fruits and vegetables you just don't have to eat yeah yeah matt give me instructions to your diet um seriously maverick trampus today drink some protein and that's all he gots to do and maybe like eat some ice for dinner well the thing is i'm doing really good on it until i'm i'm gonna be honest it's the green monster that does a drink because it's like the second i have a toke of that it's like pizza i'm like rosy i'll kill that pizza i'll kill it i'm just coming out and squad are you wearing a page boy news cap thing right now are you driving an outdated bmw right now are you dating a blonde girl that only wants to date you because you're on tv right now oh my god oh um does your sister hate you because you're um a lesbian right now because she does Kathy hates lesbians there i said it well you know what i would believe you but your mother's a liar and so is your father but liars you took daddy away from you took daddy away from me you're delusional so is your mother um so yeah jersey i kind of hope that jersey it starts on fire and everybody dies and they have to start over with milania okay well milania but if there is ever an arson involved with any of these people milania and matches are to blame i hope that they do like a real housewives of england or something we can have like a really proper i would love that i heard that you were at the tea party and said something nasty about my mother you know a british housewives i think we said this on housewives hodown back in the day a british housewives would be hilarious and actually you know what there's the real house as a van coover that people keep saying is worried about letting someone else pick out the perfect avocado for your perfect impress them on the third date guacamole well good thing insta cart shoppers are as picky as you are they find ripe avocados like it's their guac on the line they are milk expiration date detectives they bag eggs like the 12 precious pieces of cargo they are so let insta cart shoppers overthink your groceries so that you can overthink what you'll wear on that third date download the insta cart app today to get free delivery on your first three orders while supplies last minimum ten dollars per order additional terms apply achieving a gorgeous grin from home isn't a total mystery with bike clear aligners just don't be surprised if all of your sleuthing friends start asking what's your secret begin by ordering your at-home impression kit today for only 1495 bike clear aligners are doctor directed and delivered to your door treatment costs thousands less than races plus they offer flexible financing accept eligible insurance and you could pay with your HSA FSA get 80% off your impression kit when you use code wonderie@bite.com that's BYTE.com start your confidence dirty today with bite off the hook i'm telling you i'm going to try to ship shit in for my friends in Canada so that we can secretly do watch what happens about that for the three people that listen to us in Canada you know what a lot because of these here internet a lot of people have seen that and people were asking for recaps of it all season and i finally downloaded it and i was just watching them a couple of nights and like one of the housewives sleeps with one of the other housewives daughter yeah like her young daughter and like it i mean that one's really bad these but i don't know if they make jersey look classy but they make the other ones look almost classy bravo bravo should air that shit i don't know i you know bruh they should they should they probably own the rice to it in some way right yeah they probably will oh they definitely do and but speaking of like uk version i mean cat omni i need more of her on my screen and who's who is our little buddy on uh facebook that keeps listening about you know secret or maybe is it on twitter about you know the cat omni juice what i don't know were you guys not interacting with this guy on twitter slash facebook i'm starting rude and i don't have his name right now but what's who's cat omni that's cat from dc oh oh oh that was oh that was me are we allowed to talk about that because that was a that was like a private message was that a private message is just someone who knows cat well i was not involved in that message they didn't really say a lot of dirt they just said they like listening to show and they work for cat and that she's really funny and she has a baby now or something and that andi hates her oh yeah andi hates her because she can't like keep her mouth set she keeps telling everybody off but you know what though he's had or he had or just on the show like a week and a half ago that's why i said to this guy i was like why would she keep getting invited on the show if andi hates her so much and i and i don't really get a straight answer out of him so if you're listening we're not going to reveal your real name but send us some more private messages and maybe some shirtless photos while you're out and if and if cat wants to come on to this show like we i mean we've all we are free we are more than available to bring her own because you know she i mean she is i mean she is hilarious she probably call us out she probably was gonna say that don't you have something better to do than sitting on talk she's about women what you're just like a regular type of bank she's awful just like you yeah i will tell us off i'm afraid of her she'll call me fat i don't want to talk to her no i i almost want to be eviscerated by her because we deserve it it would kind of turn me on a little too much i don't like a new show ever is camera i can't rush it that's why i want to be for how i want to kem yeah get that big candy cane go up and then you'll look like her up kem can't wait for my kimmy can to come home to me i could go as the gay bullmastic you know it's the game of gay bullmasses why don't we move on to real house as a miami oh good segue karen so much you know like i've just been waiting for us to get on to miami because i love doing the voices i love doing the voices as much as karen's mom hey's ham okay what happened this week on miami that was a long ass time ago i was here it was thursday thursday and like we're saying before the podcast began like once the weekend hits it's like the erase button i don't remember anything all bets off yeah but you know what though here's what i do remember karench is the worst she is i mean i'm telling you she is up there with who is one of the she's up there with well that's saying a lot but um i was gonna say she's up there with people i hate as much as lisa woo heartwell oh i don't i don't hate lisa woo heartwell well you just wanted to get with her man that's maybe not a lie but um here's the thing with karench i mean she is she's awful um she i think one thing that happened this episode was they all went to a party and this guy i forgot his name we actually first met him on real house was of atlanta he was kim's friend that they all stayed with in miami when they had the big fight and everything and he's like this like german real estate mogul and so all these women on the cast of miami are all friends with him but karench really likes to show off that she's friends with him so she like takes this very deliberate photo of like her sitting on his lap and everything and it just i just wanted to punch her in the face i don't think all the women wanted to kill her anyway because she's such a starfucker and once she saw how popular he was amongst the other girls she couldn't stop trying to get his attention and she's sitting all the way across the room from him so there's all these people in between her and she's like oh you remember what you used to tell my mother about me remember what you used to tell mom and he's like oh yeah that i wanted to fuck your face and she's like yeah that you loved me but i said no no it's not like that you remember that he's like yeah i wanted to bone you hard i wanted to put a blindfold on you and choke you with my wiener and she's like oh that was so funny with my mom remember gross meanwhile now right there now you go you go i was just to say everything is horrible and we can't stop talking about the fact that she does not realize that her boyfriend is cheating even when he's sitting there saying he was not cheating or with a giant hurt on his lips like john he has a hurt on his lip and he's saying no i'm not cheating on you and laughing in her face he's like i don't want to talk about these other women baby i don't want to talk about it don't talk about this anymore to me and she's like okay baby okay but these women are so mean to me we got to do something that he's like no no i don't want to hear about these women it's like joe it's like all the men and all the women are all the same no matter where you live you know you know she's such a starfucker that of course she's gonna listen to anything her boyfriend says because he's a star and she wants to fuck him so she's gonna do she's she's gonna put her blinders on and she's gonna ignore the fact that he's making moves on a na and every other woman and saying on this planet you know it'd be amazing if he gave them all the herp and they were all like at the reunion and they were forced to show up and they all have to cover up all around all around cake from their mouth it's all like the same shape yeah it's all like the mexican emmy shape how funny is that herpes for everyone except leah i think it's pretty funny first she would renovate her herpes i went to see a doctor about the herpes i taught them but i didn't voice the doctor i don't even have a mouth anymore i just had him tear it down take off my mouth i don't want herpes on there take it out i don't want the herpes so i just gave it to frita i just run through this rubber band now make a different shape so those will come out how fun is that amazing so what happened with leah this week what was her oh leah's big thing this week was she goes up to marie's soul and she's like marie's soul i heard a rumor that you thought you weren't invited to my my gala ball i want you to come and then marie's soul's like okay okay leah i'll come oh hey no you're not offended but your husband left you because he was just with you for his green card how fun is that did you guys ever watch kids in the hall because there was a character on there that scott um tomsen played called the chicken lady and they are fucking doppelgates when i recap that so last year i called her the chicken lady and every time there was a screenshot of leah it was the chicken lady from kids in the hall i had to find a new sketch every week matt you i don't know if you realize this you just inadvertently did a leah black voice did you hear that i did i have a little bit of a southern twang you went like this you went well that's and i was like oh my gosh you're in it but you're trying to leah a little sing something yeah how great is that i think it's so funny i think it's so funny that leah did say in the first season with marie's soul that's she pissed off marie's soul because they were at dinner and she met the husband and she or the fiance at the time and she's like oh why do you guys like each other you just need your green card so she's making a joke now with like this is the crazy thing she says shit like that straight face yeah and she's right by the way she's uh oh she's totally 120 right there's no doubt like we make fun of her but she gets it she uh leah is probably one of the smartest women of all the housewives you know and she she has the most fun and she loves during the pot and she doesn't care how great is that what a life to live she's like the freedom of housewives well two things leah for one thing leah has someone's told her about the show because this is all about us okay real housewives of miami's all about this podcast i've noticed that leah has started talking lower she doesn't talk like that anymore yeah that was more last season to be honest no no no no no no no no no no she does she doesn't sort of like she doesn't scream but she still does she goes crazy sing songy like when she she always says like little things like i don't know anything about i just find it pretty funny yeah she's a little up at the end there he gives a little she's trying to write it in but it sneaks out at the end of the sentence well what is it what's the thing that she has yet to say it's been all the previews ronnie where she goes like these women are all vicious i mean that is going to have to be my ring i'm going to make that my ring time right now it's already like the favorite part of the season it hasn't even happened yet oh my god well the second thing about leah for this year for me is i love that leah no matter what no matter how much goddamn money this woman has no matter how much surgery she has no matter what they stick in her new body part she has bitch cannot get decent hair it's like no it is always she looks like what Debbie Gibson will look like in 30 years she looks like she stuck her head in carol as a wells vagina you know what she looks like she looks like she got the raw end of the hair deal with frita she does free his braids and frita does her blowouts it's not working out for either one of them i think she started wearing wigs or something and just can't get the cap on right i mean i don't know what's going on i don't think it's a way because it's like tooth it's like if there's a way you're like sir yes yeah it's it's wispy yet it's chunky it's like chunky wisps you know it's you know what she is just not made for miami like she needs to be in like sadona arizona or something like the humidity is just not agreeing with her scalp at all she doesn't care though whatever she's got more money than all these women she's got a she's got a silver alligator like on her wall i don't know if you guys saw that like she doesn't care yeah from from the gallery yeah it does it when it comes to aesthetics it's really not her real house and she's she knows it why do you think i live next door to rosy odontal you think she's going to make fun of my hair with that ass i don't know what it is that i can afford to live with people only really me i'm from event i got an alligator on my wall i'm going to invoice a poacher um now now other things that also um else let's talk about roman okay talk about elsa first oh i was gonna say elsa danced that was her big contribution to the episode and it was great oh wait was that this week or wasn't it for next week or that was this episode no this week you know the thing is this when elsa dance she looked like one of those strange marty gras like things where like three people hold up a giant face like an f_a_a_ shorts clock and there are other people controlling the hands and it's like it's like six stories high almost like one of those olympic things at the opening ceremonies that's what she looks like when she dances like a stream looks like that creepy little mechanical monkey with the symbols i like to read um i like to dance i make a dance i like the glorious defan hi marisou um what was she dancing for what was happening where she was just wrong it was the party it was the same party where corrent was going crazy oh my god correct singer boyfriend with their tongues like sick and like touch doing a tough action oh yeah so then eddie around i got all mad because uh carrent wouldn't let her come to the after party with the old lech oh yeah and she's already mad because all of her artists all of her twitter followers who care about her artist tweets have you know been have been deprived of whatever it was with that artist i feel like she is she's gonna pay for that for the rest of the season what she doesn't stop saying it the twitter shit i had no artist i mean that's gonna bite her in the ass for the rest of time i tweet about art okay i tweet about art and they care about the art my parents got something to say i'm gonna have something to say about that because she's feeding me to the tweet what else does she do that crazy Adriana i really love her you know what she she's she's my face she and lee are my two faves yeah she bitched about uh she just bitched about corrent to joanna which gets back to now what you started talking about mark seventh grade like everything that happened she's like well i talked to her and this is what she said this is what she said you didn't i don't think you should do that that's not very nice like shut up who are you go take off your body we're you wanting to say shut up joe's erin but with a different name inserted no shut up joanna yeah no joanna just joanna does need to shut up though no but martin needs to shut up even more of a crying out loud marta is so a busy you don't understand like when you're an actor and a singer it's so much harder you can't do groceries um all i want you to do is uh do something because you just lay there i do a lot i do a lot roman it really hurts my feelings that you say i don't because i do a lot all you know what hurts my feelings no groceries that's what hurts my there's nothing in the refrigerator you don't go to the groceries but you know what like grocery bags hurt my vocal cords and i'm a singer and i can't be doing that you know i work i had jobs when i was 14 well i was in the revolutionary war i was in the german with the german's wars and i've gone through a lot of my life and i i have a Ferrari now and a model girlfriend and you can't even do the groceries so but you know what you may have been like in a war but i'm from poland and i came over here on an airplane of my sisters a super model and i had it tough um yeah you know what you need to do do the groceries i don't even know what groceries are so stop telling me to do them is that like are those like plants i wish you could see me right now hard blinking making really hard blinks right now that is Morse code for groceries i don't want to do groceries i want to really release it okay just promise me let us finish this conversation just promise me you'll do something anything i don't care what it is just do anything i can't do that i'm an actress and a singer she should perform super bowl halftime should not be on sale she'll probably try and sleep there biancy wants me to live with her now marty's the worst yeah marty is the worst and i and actually what really happened in that conversation was he basically said look i don't mind you staying with us it's just buns me that you're lazy so just do go to the grocery store once a week that's all you need to do and she's like okay and then she goes home she's like lisa moving in with you like bitch really you can't go get groceries really by the way speaking of lisa uh how do we think about how we feel that her again to bikini and like getting into a bathtub with her dirty ass dog while daisy uh bubbled them up suds them up well she doesn't want to admit to the crabs on national tv if she's going to be itching herself it's best to have a dog down there on the camera first you can blame it so bro right i was just impressed at lisa for once and i asked daisy if she wanted a cocktail oh i forgot your sober i keep on forgetting that i can fill your cuplet i can mix it with some jesus i love that she's got like a sober made preacher best friend who wants some liposuction how should you think that bitch is getting paid daisy because she wears she wears many hat the many hats are daisy it's a neck it's new telenovela and she wore like a bench and then the a preview of the opening sequence we heard like a big blossom hat with sunflower i wish i knew spanish otherwise i lost lost hats del daisy so i don't know what hat is in spanish anyone anyone at all i took french no i know i'm like they shep o that's what happened with honor this week or anna on a looked at um jewlett at karence facebook page and made fun of all the photos she had with celebrities like sofia vagara and i forget who else did you just really say sofia vagara well we're we're we're in miami we must do it nothing makes me angrier than like Alec Durbek when he like has one Hispanic or not a Spanish word like in a sentence and he'll be like, "Bergara!" It makes me insane. Well, I felt the needs. Did I just say his Hispanic word? What is wrong with me? I know, that was pretty good actually. I like that. I feel like honey, boo-boo. I'm so sorry. You get some scaredy? You know what, here's the thing. These shows brought our brains and make us racist. So it's okay, Matt. We're all heading that way. Yeah, we hate pretty much all of humanity. It's just easier to separate them by race. It's true because, you know, color is the first thing you see. We're grasping, right? Yeah, I think there's nothing left. I think if we've forgotten anything, we'll just mention it next week. Okay, well, why don't we just make this one single podcast then instead of two? No, well, I say we'd make it two. We can have one that's shorter. That's fine. Okay, then there's still two. Yeah, I love two things, you guys. Okay, and this week's commercial is for forks. I really want to thank forks for sponsoring us. Forks have worked really hard for a long time to get the prongs just right to get your food onto them. So when you stab them, you can put the food in your mouth. And I just wanted to say forks, thank you for sponsoring Watch What Crap Inks. And you guys, if you want to help us out next time you eat something, use a fork. Okay. Thanks. I'm so confused. I'm trying to visualize people buying ads on our show. So I just, if I start doing ads, then people might get the idea and be like, oh my God, I like forks. I'm totally using a fork right now because I heard it on that show. I'm buying an ad from my company. You know, we got to do those forks though. Invise them. Hey, those forks came into my food. I'm invited. I'm invoicing it. Oh my God. You owe me five cents for that by the salad, buddy. You know, I got a huge fruit of how to use a fork. She doesn't know what to do. All right, everybody, thank you so much for being with us today. We'll be back next week. Are we going to do you guys? We lost footage for New Jersey to discuss and lost footage New York? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. We're going to have to really fish this week for some bravo shows. I think that low work might start. What does that start? Well, do you guys remember that time over the summer when there was like a one week gap of content and we're like, well, I'll be a short podcast. It'll be 45 minutes that we went for an hour and a half. So yeah, and I think that none of us even watched this advice, but we talked about it for 10 seconds and then other shit for 49 more minutes. Well, let's take a look at some of the new shows that life after Top Chef and low work. Yeah, yeah, we'll do that. Well, it's good. We'll just watch some random bravos and show up to talk about that next time. So thanks for being with us. All right. Thanks, everyone. We'll forget to follow us on Twitter at what crappins. Don't forget to join the party on Facebook, which has been blowing up in recent weeks. We are at Facebook backslash. Watch what crappins. You can also find us on iTunes, download us every single week, leave us some fun comments and five star reviews. And then in addition to that, don't forget to follow each one of us individually on Twitter. I'm Matt Whitfield from Yahoo TV at Life on the M list. Ben is at beside blog and Ronnie is at TV Gasm and we are looking forward to another episode or possibly tune this week. So thank you guys for tuning in and stay classy. Me, Johnny. See you next time. She said she likes my watch, but she wants these AP and she stay up for hours watching QVC. She said she loves my songs. She put my MP free. And so I put her number in my both BB. I put her black BM. She got a white TT. She want to see what's hiding in my CK briefs. I tell her where to spend. There's some PVC. And then I'll film it. Oh, I'll put my JBC. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the side show network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing dragon friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomity. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny. And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Tudeen posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you can save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing. Hashtag savings. Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watchbook Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who will fight like hell to keep you out of jail? We defend and we fight just like you want your own children to defend it. Whether you're facing a drug charge, caught up on a murder app, accused of committing war crimes, look no further than Paul Bergren. All the big guys go to Bergren because he gets everybody off. You name it, Paul can do it. Need to launder some money, broker a deal with a drug cartel, take out a witness, from Wondery. The makers of Dr. Death and over my dead body comes a new series about a lawyer who broke all the rules. Doesn't it funny how witnesses disappear or how evidence doesn't show up or somebody doesn't testify correctly? In order to win at all costs. If Paul asked you to do something, it wasn't a request. It was an order. I'm your host Brandon James Jenkins. Follow Criminal Attorney on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Criminal Attorney early and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
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