Crashing Into Shut Up Mountain
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#39: Crashing Into Shut Up Mountain
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The podcast about all that crap that's on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from Vsudblog.com and this week, joined, we're all back together. It's Matt Woodfield from Yahoo! I'm Matt, collard, collard, and Ronnie Karam from TV. What an exciting time to be podcasting with all these all these reunions and stuff. But before we get to that, let's just remind everyone that you can find us at facebook.com/watchmorecrapins. I'm at Vsudblog on Twitter, Matt's @lifeonthemlist, Ronnie's @tvgasm, and this podcast is @whatcrapins. So you should follow us on any and all forms of social media and leave us a comment on iTunes as well because we love those. Yeah, thank you guys for leaving comments all over iTunes. Love it! And I must say the Facebook has been blowing up in the past few weeks. I'm loving all of these comments. People are like really invested. Yeah, totally invested and I love that the people who listen to this show are so effing funny because it's really fun to read the Facebook page. It's not a given that people on the internet who are commenters are gonna be funny or smart and actually like every one of our followers is funny and smart. It's amazing. I was gonna say I think that we probably have like the smartest podcast followers and fans. You look at some of these other ones and you know they're more like honey boo boo types. Yeah. If you look at YouTube, I mean look at the comments on YouTube, any YouTube video and they're just vicious and awful and we have vicious and hilarious comments. Yeah, we don't have the vicious and yeah YouTube is a really sad place for humanity. Yeah, I think when God floods the world next he's gonna point to YouTube first. Yeah. It's gonna rain on the YouTube offices. I hope so. So what do you guys want to start with? We've got well first off welcome home Matthew. Thank you reunited and it feels so good. Yeah, it's been a long time. It's been weird without you. Like someone said on the Facebook it's been weird not having someone clutching their pearls. Don't worry I am wearing two strands. Two strands tonight. Two strands with a brooch from Ramona Singer's collection attached to the front because what was that bitch wearing? Oh my god. It was like someone took in a big blue couch from big blue couch from like some low rents Jennifer store. Yeah, Jennifer. That was totally blue Jennifer convertible leather leather. I don't even show his leather. I think it was pleather leather pleather for sure. Yeah and borrowed which we now know that that shit was borrowed. Oh yeah. If we had learned anything from this reunion it was that no one pays for anything except Carol. Yeah. Ronnie do you have any gossip for us? Well the best in shut up Jill's Erin news. Jill's Erin will be interviewed next week on Watch What Happens. I'd like to point out that. Watch what Crapens got her first. Yes. And by by first you mean like two or three months ago. Yeah. Yeah. And now she's going to be on Andy's show and you know a lot of people have been speculating like oh he's going to apologize and bring her back. But I doubt it. And she's the interview she's giving about the interview are so hilarious. She's so delusional. She's still talking about how millions of social media fans want her back. And she was just in Paris and her and Bobby were thinking of getting a 13 million dollar penthouse but that you could see the the Eiffel Tower from and she's just so full of shit. It's going to be wonderful. Okay. The best part of the entire like little preview clip though is when she a point blank stares in Andy's face and screams at him. Why did you fire me? Awkward. You know that's really all she wants to know. You know the thing that I took away from our interview with her which to remind the listeners that we did interview her three months ago look in our archives. The big thing that took away was that she was really like she was dumped and she didn't want and she was very proud and didn't want to act like she was you know like she was hurt by. She's like whatever I'm over it was a good thing that but she is she is better and that was actually probably a pretty happy moment for her to be able to finally confront him and yell that Adam. What do you guys think what do you think Bravo's intentions are by bringing her on the show just that they're gonna get ratings or do you think that they're trying to like finally shut her up like what is the motive there? I don't know why Bravo does anything. I mean every time a new preview comes on I'm like why does Bravo do that? That LOL work? Why? Yeah why? Anything that they do confuses me. I think that they hurt womanhood. But Jill's there in another thing that she said in the article I was reading I think it's Daily News or something. I posted it on the the old Facebook but another thing she says is that she's shopping around her own show. It's like shut up bitch we couldn't take you in a group setting. What makes you think we could watch you on? I don't want to see that. Well who do you think's really gonna pick up a show starring her and Bobby like that's just not gonna happen. I mean TV land and oxygen would even pass on that. Logo would pass. Maybe HGTV if they work in the fabrics. Maybe. Yeah what's it gonna be a fabric store? Oh you let me show you the oriental's. I know you're not supposed to say that anymore. There are worse at the work there are worse shows on HGTV than a show about Jill's Aaron Hawking fabrics. I'll tell you that much. That's true Candace Olson. We hate you. I love Candace. How dare you. Sweet. I love Candace Olson my six foot five big bird of a designer in Canada. Aren't they all from Canada on HGTV? Yeah they kind of are because it's cheaper there just like Candace Olson's designs. How dare you sir. She makes her own mirror chandeliers. I have no idea what you guys talking about. I'm a new convert to HGTV so I still don't I don't really know the canon very well but I'm getting there. Well her new show is called Divine Design I think right. That is an old one Ronnie. Oh that's her old one. What's her new one called? Something with the word Candace in it I'm sure but she's no property brothers that's where it's at. Oh my god that's like the same thing. That's like watching the housewives. It's the same thing every single week. So hey it's the only other thing I read a little waffle boy from TV Gasm sent me a couple emails from stuff that was posted on this fame horga's website which has become really big and this website is pretty much written by Teresa's gay intern that writes all of her witty blogs and it knows the meaning and the spelling of napalm I take it. Yes and this basically everything trashes Melissa and the the latest from them is that everything that when they were ganging up on Teresa this week in the reunion it was all lies and all that affair stuff that they were slinging at her all that stuff was a lie and blah blah blah blah. So why don't we just move into Jersey. What did you guys think of that wreck? Are you over it yet? I like it. I mean it's a little bit of a blur to me I have to admit it's just like it's just like one hour of screaming and repeating the same things over and over again but um I can't remember it very well but I liked it. I know that I liked it that's what I can't remember. There were a few things that really kind of threw me off and you know Ben you got me loving Kathy but I have to say I kind of I don't know that I believe her whole story with the Rosie coming out situation. I feel like Rosie was trying to make it seem like their relationship was much closer in the past when she was trying to come out as a lesbian and you know because she doesn't want Teresa attacking Kathy but at the end of the day I don't know that Kathy was down with Rosie being a Les. But is it can be is like are we going to um are we going to judge Kathy for how she acted you know 10 years ago whenever it was? No probably not but I just kind of feel like you got swept under the rug and I just kind of wish Kathy would come up and say like you know what yeah I was not down with that because I probably didn't know anybody that was gay then and now I'm fine with it. Like just be honest and simple about it but this is the housewives they would never do that. Yeah yeah there would be no show. Yeah but the way that the way that that question was answered was kind of suspicious because Rosie was like well you know we were having problems but it was because of the girlfriend not that it was a girl. You know I was like yeah I don't know. Yeah well that that could be I mean you never know what sort of you never know what sort of ladies Rosie might hang with you know I can imagine like like a bike biker gang or something of like indigo girl types. Well those girls don't usually date other girls like themselves they usually date like teenage runaways or like people that they you know like really girly you know kind of maybe tomboyish but still wear a little makeup you know they're not like fully turned yet. They like them innocent like in jail. I picture Rosie as the girl in jail with the cigarettes. Oh most definitely. You know. But yeah that was that was pretty awkward. I'm really pissed off at Lauren Manzo. Not only for having the same fat face on a skinny body which is uncomfortable to look at. Yeah but because she calms Rosie down. Bitch what should you think you're on? Rosie was gonna come out and there was gonna be blood on my TV screen and you stopped it. I know Rosie is like a rhino with a big horn and she was ready to you know gorge. I've been doing that all week in traffic. Lauren's like calm down. I brought a lot of good stuff from kaface so you can just enjoy that. I brought some egg salad. Why don't you have some egg salad? I brought some edible lipstick and some blush that you can drink. I was just gonna say I have a feeling that all of her products are also secretly snacks. Yeah exactly that's why it's named after a cafe. It's like this foundation it's actually pudding. You can eat it too. And the pudding it's actually egg salad. Wait wait for this egg facial to dry and then peel it off your face and eat it. Yeah we actually just put an omelet on your face and just just just enjoy it. Low carb low carb. You know it's all like the inside of rollos. Yet another reason why kaface will be out of business in the next nine months. Oh my gosh this doesn't make me want to go there. Well from what we've seen of the New Jersey ladies taste and makeup isn't really their strong point so I think that she could sell magic markers and she'd still be okay. Isn't that like the only beauty place in town? Isn't that what they're saying? Well I mean they have plenty of strip malls. But that's true. But I mean now that Chateau the art of beauty is is out of business. I mean really kaface is the only gig in town. It's true. Faface. So something about these reunions that's really making me crazy. I know this is going to shock you guys. Andy Cullen. What the frick? How does that guy have a job? Why is he on there? He makes me crazy. And why does he start him all out like this? Hi Sonia. I like your dress. Hi Luann. I think he's like a mom. Hello in advance before shit hits the fan. Well at least say something. He's like a he's like a gay boogie man you know. Yeah like let's just imagine like creeping into your room late at night. Hi little boy. Oh I think that he does like little boys though. I do hear that he likes me young but not pedophile young. No no I didn't I didn't mean pedophile young. I mean yeah I mean like barely legal. Yeah like Brian Singer's type. Exactly. Exactly. Did I just say that? Very young that's for sure. Those Brian Singer's type sure are little. I went to that birthday party at his house which not birthday party July 4th thing just because I got invited by a friend not because I'm secretly famous but I got together that's where I met Greg and all those little boys there. It was like a child's birthday party where there were a lot of uncles. There are a lot of little boys running around in underwear and then they're lecher as uncles promising them college funds and stuff. Okay next time bring me with you. I'll probably never they'll probably have my picture up next time and I won't be allowed back in there. Speaking of all of these reunions and because we are in the middle obviously of Jersey and New York what do you guys think about the whole like seating chart situation do you always think that Andy puts the biggest stars closer to him and then he kind of works his way out with like the ones that he thinks are kind of fun and then the ones that like mean nothing are on the end. I mean I just I feel like there's something to that. I know I never thought about that but I think you're actually right. Now that I think back like the bigger stars were always very close to him. Like Teresa and Ramona have like prime position when it's Atlanta. It's always like Kim on one side and Nini on the other and then you kind of like work your way out. Like he obviously likes Carol so she gets a better seat closer to him than you know Heather who's even further out on New York and I just- But Luan was often like no no man's land last night. That is true. So I don't know I just kind of every time I watch that I'm kind of always wondering like do they have seating charts or are they just told go sit on a couch pick your seat. I kind of doubt that. Yeah I think they probably have seating charts but I don't know I wonder if they're based on prayer. I never thought of it as a Andy universe where Andy is the son and the others revolve around him. I always thought of it like- Clearly that's how I talk about it. But it's probably true though. I mean I always thought of it like who do one on which couch you know. But I never thought of it like you know Andy is like our star and then we have like the moons or let that moons go around stars planets go around stars and stop with your knowledge all right. That's enough of that. No more strong. No it's fine. Well the only pattern that I've really noticed and I've been thinking about it this whole segment is that he sits by the biggest C word every single time. This time he sat by Ramona and Aviva was on his other side. In the Jersey reunion he's sitting next to Teresa. And the what was the reunions before this Atlanta I believe he was sitting next to Nini. So I think that he chooses the biggest A-hole because he knows that he doesn't have shit to say and they always do. Yeah the biggest A-hole is always going to deliver like probably the sassiest bitchiest line of the night so maybe that's why I don't really know though. Well also maybe because they're the most likely to like throw a fit and maybe throw him off or do something crazy and this way he can be like right there to calm them down or whisper something in their ear you know to make them feel like special. Or he secretly wants them to hit him or throw him over a chair because that makes ratings go through the roof. Yeah so let's talk about some specifics in the Jersey reunion. Okay probably my favorite part personally was Melissa Gorga coming unhinged and showing the true beauch the lying bitch she is. That woman I am so sure that she's selling your home so her kids don't have to go to school with Teresa's kids that is the biggest crock of shit and Teresa is a monster and a horrible human being and scares children in their dreams and chases them and murders them in their sleep. Well this is a fucking liar she's obviously a liar at this point. You know what's a cheaper thing to do than uprooting your entire house and buying another one in a different school district. Why don't you take your kids out of the school and put them in a private school instead. Or why don't you home school them away because you're retarded and couldn't. Yeah could you? I don't know I mean based on the geniuses that this uh that this New Jersey school system seems have turned out on the show I would have to say that uh I don't know it doesn't speak much for the the school. Well do you need to be honest like this entire um this most recent episode of Jersey everybody was lying the entire time. Melissa was lying about moving because clearly they're getting foreclosed on. um Jacqueline was lying because her husband clearly has cheated on her in the past and you know Kathy was lying I think about the whole rosy situation. It's like everyone is lying. Teresa's just dumb but I don't know that she lies. Oh my god she lies all the time but I guess we're just so used to Teresa being an idiot that it's not as offensive like Melissa actually kind of had me fooled for a while. I thought she was kind of nice. I think because she said baby Jesus a lot and I fall for code words. I'm like oh she's a nice Christian so maybe she hates me for being gay but otherwise maybe she gets to pour people on the street. I don't know I thought she was fine but now I think she's horrible and Kathy the same. I feel like she's horrible. We're getting to see a little more of her horror story innards. So I don't know I kind of liked it but my favorite line was Melissa's "I'm the victim! I'm the victim!" She pulled an Aviva Drescher. She sure did. You're not crazy. You know I have to say if you had to deal with Teresa as your sister-in-law I would say I was the victim too. I mean for crying out loud the woman's a monster. Well and the other thing is it's like Teresa nothing can penetrate that brain of hers. It's like you could say anything you wanted like Caroline can squeeze her arm and say look into my eyes and I'm trying to be honest with you and it doesn't matter Teresa has a wall up that is never coming down. I love it. I think it's so fucking funny. When they come from her they'll confront her with truth and she goes what? I never said none of that. I never just all these things you're saying. I never said I ain't there. What are you talking about? Jacqueline. Jacqueline. What do you everyone says it? Who? The people on Twitter. I don't hold any grudges. I don't want any grudges. I mean you're the one who did that. You're the one who copied my look. That's not what I did. Well look at it from her side. You know I'm sure I've said this before because I've been thinking it forever but think of it from her side. She's on this show this bitch stripper who married her midget brother that was the first love of her life. She stole her sex toy brother away from her and so they already hate each other. They don't speak. There's a lot of tension in the family and then the producers get winded out from fucking Danielle who's now a hero. I love how the show works and the producers go right up to the people that know they know now hate Teresa and bring them on the show and Melissa knows why she's there. She's there to bring down Teresa. It's true. I mean why else do they bring her on the show? That's one of my notes here. Do you really think that Melissa joined the show just to attack Teresa and make Teresa? No I think Melissa joined the show because she's a fame obsessed core and she can't make it as a bald woman in the music industry and this was her chance to actually do what all the housewives do. Come on us so they're lame crap to us. Okay well then what was Kathy's motivation there? Was it just like an extra bonus to have more members? Why should Teresa be the cook? She's you know Teresa stole all her mother's recipes and she should be the one with a dessert empire with Bindi okay so they come on. The way you say that makes it sound like they truly are joining Teresa's show which is one of those issues that came on this past episode. Yes Teresa is the star of this show but this kind of also used to be like the Teresa and Caroline show. Does this mean that Caroline and Jacqueline are just you know replaceable and totally don't even know they brought their own replaceable? Well yeah Josie proved that but I think that Caroline did bring her people and she brought all of her sons on and her you know we had to listen to the fat ass storyline all season and we had to listen to the sons stupid business and her pasta sauce and her husband's business. Let me let me tell you something this wasn't Teresa was not the star of the show prior to these past seasons. No you're right. It was not I mean she was a cast member and she was known for flipping the table and everything and she was definitely prominent but it was actually really more Caroline shows that it was really a manzo based show and um you know with some Danielle's job even yeah with it with a dash of Danielle but um a heavy dash but the thing is that um this was not Teresa's show I can't understand why she should be annoyed if all of a sudden she finds out her her family's on I can actually can understand that but realistically she's got to like go of that now and uh get she has to get over it's it's not her show quite frankly and I actually think I did read something a day or two ago saying that the next season they're trying to bring on some Teresa allies so it's not like everyone against her. There is no such thing. There is no such thing. Kim D. Yeah but Kim D like she's not going to be able to stay sober long enough to film anything. Listen there there are there are definitely Teresa allies out there because do you know how many stupid bitches out there want to be on TV also? Of course they're going to take you know team Teresa for means they get on the show. Yeah well they're going to have to do something because yeah okay well let's talk about that. Where can this show possibly go because I'm watching these reunions and I'm thinking oh my god this is fantastic TV but two seasons ago we started out with that fight at the christening and then this season just kind of went off the hinges as well so at this point where where does this cast go like I feel Caroline is like done but I feel like Andy still wants to keep her in the mix somehow but I don't know because she's not going to film with Teresa. I have no idea I can't wait to see what they pull out though because someone's getting fired I mean they can't keep it the way that they do and I can't see him firing Teresa because she's a villain but she's such an entertaining monkey but there's and there's like a lot of stuff going on around Teresa they could get rid of Caroline or Jacqueline quite frankly you know because you know we asked the same questions two years ago at the end of season two when it was just like everyone against Danielle and then Danielle was fired and it was like what could they pop where could this go from here like there's nothing else the show has except Danielle. I think you're right and I think that that's going to be a good call. I think that it's going to be Caroline or Caroline and Jacqueline who are out. I kind of am leaning that way too because you still have the family members to play off of Teresa and if she just gets some more allies then it can be like a war. The family war is where the real drama is. None of the other franchises have the family war. Yeah well I bet you money sisters a little bit I'll bet you money that they put on Melissa's sisters and give Teresa a friend. Well you know they're I think the rumor is that Kathy got axed already. Oh really? She's kind of like the I'm you know I'm not gonna you know because I know Ben loves Kathy and I started to like her too but she kind of was a little Cindy bar shop. Yeah she's yeah I mean like I love Kathy but if she got fired I would I would regrettably understand it. Well look she got her free nose job. Yeah that's true. Do you think that there's any chance of Teresa just getting her own kind of like crazy spin-off and leaving housewives or just Teresa need to be there? Isn't that like one of the things there isn't aren't they filming us something with her? So I don't know if it's they're filming but I don't know that it's going to end up actually airing the way obviously like you know Kim Zulcy X worked out and she's getting multiple seasons of her spin-off but if Teresa's doesn't fly I mean does she need to be part of Jersey or I guess my main question is could they swipe the slate clean and just recast Jersey from the bottom up and give Teresa her own spin-off and just get five or six new women could they do that? No I think I think you need Teresa in there because it's it's more than with Danielle she was just like this unhinged lunatic. Teresa is like a deluded crazy monster bitch but she's also in the thick of a very complicated family situation that I think at the end of the day we actually all kind of want to see resolved like we're just sort of waiting for her to like like open her eyes and open her ears you know and so it's sort of like she's awful but you just want to like go at it another time and be like like just you people figure it out like just listen to each other for once. I mean putting all of like the her brother and the Melissa stuff aside which I do think that in a weird fucked up way she kind of does want to resolve that the main problem at the end of the day for her is I want to see on this show I want to see over the course of the next season her fighting with Joe Judy Joo-dee-jay her husband and dumping his ass and getting a divorce that would make me root for her again because that is the problem in her life more than anything else. Yeah can we talk about Joe on the reunion? Yeah we got to talk I mean Andy went right at him with some hard-hitting questions I mean everybody was you know wanting to ask those questions so it's not like Andy's a genius but what did you guys think of those I mean those straight up lies that he was delivering? It was he is such a bad liar because when he said who was that you're speaking to on the phone he looks over at like Caroline he's like uh Albie it's like really like it was like clearly the first thing that popped into his head it was by looking Caroline thinking better son or something it was like he couldn't even go up with like John Franco or something he's like uh Albie and Christopher my friends Albie who I work with no big deal. Yeah I just love everybody's silence like how do you even argue with that you know people just like where their jaws were on the floor this show honestly has just gotten so disgusting at this point I'm like there's they're also depraved that there's really nowhere else to go it's like more disgusting you know I mean it's fairly obvious that he's probably been cheating on Teresa since before they even got married and these lies just like solidify it in the public arena they solidify it to her face but why is she with this dude she is not a looker but she is way hotter than that fat turd. You're right and you know one thing that really bothers me and I hate this just in general this is my this is my commentary about society which is that um you know when he when they're talking about the C word and he's like yeah it cost me a lot of money because you have to buy her all this jewelry and then she's like smiling I'm like I just don't think that's like I hate that I hate that idea you do something awful and you buy and that you buy all this jewelry like Kobe Bryant did with his now ex-wife and like that makes it better I feel like that's wrong I feel like you should get to the heart of it and like I don't know what's wrong and it's also a box it's what they're teaching those those poor girls I mean the material thinks everything yeah I mean Teresa's done that with her daughter since day one I mean they see their father treat their mother that way and then buy her gifts to make her happy again even though we know on the inside all of these people are miserable and that's why we watch these shows because they all seem to have better richer lives than us but we know that they are suffering yeah people only really enjoy it when they're suffering and I think that the housewives franchise is pretty much kicked feminism and the vaginas since it started so I think it's pretty fitting you know like the most sexist things are always what wins it's like your husband is a criminal he's obviously cheating on you but you got some jewelry and also you know that that money came out of her account he's claiming that he's making money and he pays the bills whereas he make money from he can't even show up at a fucking pizza joint yeah he can't even drive a car to a job you can't even properly you know extort the government with a fake license yeah that guy that guy is not paying for anything and if he is paying for things way to make yourself look like total mafioso like you can't drive you can't you can't run a pizza shop always see you as like feeding wolves in your backyard so if you're getting any money it's clearly from someone shady under the table we're building for old people that you're doing with the mafioso well what do you guys think is going to happen when they bring out all the other men next week so I believe that Ritchie and Joe Gorga are going to be in the mix and even Chris Jacqueline's husband so and Kim D and Kim D who is also kind of a man so bring all the men out and what do you think is going to happen there because I already feel like this entire season has kind of been four on one against Teresa now I feel it's kind of like all these four couples against Teresa and Joe and in a weird way I feel like it's making I mean Teresa already has her fans but I feel like this gang up mentality and you know Caroline can pretend she's not a bully but she is it just makes me feel like it fuels Teresa's like fan base and I feel like it's bringing more fans to back her up which is fucked up that's what it always does when you go on a reality show and you hate somebody do not be mean to them you will make them a hero it happens on every show do you remember on top chef years ago I think it was season two right when Marcel one that little Wolverine haired Jack tooth little midget so hot watch your dirty man arrogant wig-a-twink that guy super hot that guy was the villain of the whole season and then the cast jumped him and shaved his head and he became the hero everybody switched to Marcel side at the last second and Cliff yeah can't show his face in public so don't shave Teresa's head just let her look like an idiot and you'll all look like things but they really fucked that up man I think Melissa looks like the biggest lying stripper twat ever I don't I really don't think so I think that Teresa is so deluded and such a monster I've said this before that Melissa is no angel but to me I just see someone who is just incredibly frustrated with having to deal with the sister-in-law from hell well you don't apply for a job at Walmart and then complain that there's a retard saying hi to you every day well but you would you would you would apply that is that uh that job at Walmart if it got you you know fame and fortune well exactly so stop complaining but what if that fame and fortune was contingent on you complaining everything is it's like making a deal with the devil you know you always make your deal with the devil and you become the best singer in the world but you've got an inverted penis for the rest of your life you don't ever get laid you know there's always some weird deal that the devil but don't you think that's all very cyclical I mean we've seen Nini be the hero of Atlanta and then she becomes the villain I mean every season or every season and a half or every two years we see this happen I mean everybody loved Jill then everybody hates Jill then everybody you know hates Jill again but I don't hate Jill again and we'll forever hate Jill okay that's a bad example but I'm just saying like you know isn't this all cyclical and now Teresa is gonna rise to the top again yeah but it's also I don't I don't think it's fate I think that people on these shows really start believing their own bullshit and they become evil horrible people that's why I'm always on horrible person watch on these shows because Kathy comes on as the nicest person ever so for me it's just a a short little weight to see her crumble and become horrible and Melissa all of them you know whoever's new on the show like the New York ladies you know everyone thought this is boring they got a bunch of nice ladies they're never gonna do anything and then look at look at the mess that Aviva turned out to be and you know the neurotic twit that Heather turned out to be like they just become so evil and wait until season two because now they all think they're like movie stars you know let me ask you about again about about Melissa do you think that we're the only ones that think Melissa is just a lying former stripper who clearly was out to attack Teresa because I feel like I feel like too many people are still team Melissa and I understand what Ben is trying to say here like yes if Teresa was my sister-in-law I would go crazy too but I just think that Melissa is the fakest motherfucker ever I do too and yes of course look I think that a line that Chris says next week that we got to see in the preview is perfect when he says we're talking about strepas like the Hitler like they're serial pillars you know and I think that that's true I don't think that there's look if I was hot I would be naked on the street right now collecting tips I wouldn't be doing some fucking podcast on my underwear okay like I think hot people should be selling their bodies that's what God gave them you know it's like if we decided one day just not to be sarcastic like God gave us hateful personalities we have to use them you know it's true it's it's like a muscle that you have to exercise exactly and what else is Melissa gonna do I mean what is she gonna be like read audiobooks like she's an idiot let her strip I don't see the problem she supported herself I know the funny thing is it's like these people go on this show and clearly when you sign up for this you have to be willing to let every single dirty detail of your entire life and your family's lives and your friends lives be exposed it's like if you were on a pole you were on a pole and we're watching reality tv it's okay the pole backstory we've seen it before it's not a problem yeah hello the most famous house wife Neenie yeah you know the arguably well I guess not the most successful because Bethany had her 40 million dollar bidet but by the way I tried a few new of her flavors sidebar delicious really yeah called us flavored vodka who knew oh have you ever seen Amy Phillips do the her impersonation of Bethany on youtube I secretly like it more than her Ramona it's hilarious well her Ramona voice is perfect but her face isn't perfect like she does the Bethany though was surprisingly amazing yeah um that was hilarious what about Bobra what about Bobra Walters make you cry can't believe I would talk so who am I what is this who's talking why am I talking um so what else happened in jurors um just thinking what's all about judiche it was about judiche lying and saying that he was talking that his his friend albie passed the phone off to a mexican worker and that's why he had a start speaking yeah that was just strange like it was really like a stream of consciousness like he probably at that point like after looking caroline he probably looked off like off camera and saw probably a mexican guy like standing holding a camera and he's like yeah to speak to a mexican okay why would he why would he not plan this in advance you're going on the reunion you know and he's gonna ask you those questions is he just too stupid to plan like oh I think yeah I think he planned that I mean this is America if she goes wrong blame the mexicans health care is terrible because the mexicans made it so because they keep coming over here and getting it for free you know mexican food now we have rice in our burritos because the mexicans are trying to americanize everything you know everything's the mexicans fall i think it was a good plan see the thing here's the problem with all your questions because you're saying why like what's the why don't these women realize they're you know what what was in their past is going to come forward why why don't he prepare is this or that the assumption that you're making is that these are logical people and have a shred of intelligence about this and the beginning of this podcast i've been asking that same goddamn question you've been giving me the same answer and just prepare yourself because i'm not going to stop asking you should because it's honestly it's it's it's still defying the the things that these people say and do you know it really is but you know if you think about your own friends and real life they're a bunch of fucking idiots too i think it's just part of humanity you know was anybody in the bible smart not really me not really i think that it's just part of humanity you know you just got to kind of smile and make ringers out of shit okay romanus you hurt me very very very very very very very bad all right oh my god jennifer leva okay before we talk about new york do any of you guys have any like hopes for this final i mean look they're stretching jersey out we have another episode of reunion part three and then we'll probably have lost footage after that are there any hopes for this next and hopefully final hour yes that a meteor comes and lands and all oh i really do hope because it looks like there's a chance of this happening i really do hope that jackie is out it is a stripper and i hope that Melissa is out it is a stripper and i hope that joe gorga finally drunkenly admits that he's been boning his sister since there were five and i think that's pretty much it but aren't we also hoping for i mean kim kim's arrival on the scene that's gonna make for something delicious right yeah maybe she'll tell us who the big boys are that she runs with oh my god i run with the big boys i run with the big boys yeah that's going to be pretty amazing um and there were rumors that danielle was going to be popping up but it doesn't look like it no we would have they would have teased that yeah one one of our commenters here on facebook also does make a good point lama our commenter lauren gordon she's also saying that kathy is probably do you guys know for a fact is kathy out or have we not seen an official blind item it was okay so that was a blind item right that i thought that i read but i do think and lauren mentions this on facebook that kathy is probably going to start just like screaming random shit to try and make her again i love talking about how these people are going to fight for their jobs is kathy just going to go off her rocker and just start screaming random shit to see to try and make that you know that she's still in the mix so that she can be uh an opponent for she already is she already is doing that so you don't think that she doesn't she doesn't need to do anything else you think that she is secured for another season ronnie no i don't know no i'm saying i think that she's already trying to be cutthroat in the reunion to try and keep her job but it's i think it's just not working right her being cutthroat would be like all right you want a second cannoli well you can't have one she smiles at the camera that was mean right you are going to have that cannoli after you're finished with your dinner okay you're right she's you're only getting three kisses from mommy tonight you fucking dyke so um yeah i the show honestly you know i've said i've said this a million times but sometimes these shows just hurt my feelings and this was kind of one of those episodes where i was like oh my god i just i just i just i hugged my poor dog my dog thinks my dog thinks i'm a molester like i just hugged him i was like just give me some love tell me it's going to be okay that there's a plan and we're not just floating around in this horrible world waiting to burn alive from nuclear holocaust that wasn't dramatic at all well i'm on four hours a week of this shit turning me into a crazy person all right so let's move on to it new jork you can live out your master chef dreams when you find a professional on angie to tackle your dream kitchen remodel connect with skilled professionals to get all your home projects done well inside to outside repairs to renovations get started on the angie app or visit angie.com today you can do this when you angie that this halloween ghoul all out with insta cart where they're hunting for the perfect costume i'm that giant bag of candy or casting spells with eerie decor we've got it all in one place download the insta cart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes plus enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders offer valid for a limited time minimum ten dollars per order service fees other fees and additional term supply insta cart bringing the store to your door this halloween all right i just watched the best thing ever i go ahead go ahead sorry i'll say i love the contrast between these two reunions because i mean they're both ridiculously baddie whereas one was a group of people fighting over uh a turbulent family situation the other was like a bunch of caddy women fighting about dresses and who could borrow one and who couldn't yes and uh they both were equally as entertaining to me and they're new rosies in new york i mean that's like the most neurotic city in the world and it shows in these reunions they can't just say you know you upset me it's like you know you upset me and then you apologize but then you didn't mean it and then i could see in your face and then i heard behind the back and it really hurt me and you know i have a fear of this and you know that someone was meeting me when i was young and it's just like when my father was yelling at me you were yelling at me oh my god i i have to say the highlight for me was um when luain you know luain was very her feathers were very ruffled by carol and when she was about this whole about rajana and the dresses and should she have asked a bar one or not a yada yada yada and luain was like look i was in life and style magazine i was in life and style you know to see her it's almost like her saying like look i could be wearing that dress and rolling around in shit you know right like it's like it's just as good to say that well and she shows up clearly with a purse full of life and style magazines to show to people like this is why you should give me a pre-dress it's like how tacky is she i've got a val pack full of coupons here you should see all the coupons i'm on the cover of if you ever want me to wear one of your dresses on a coupon you know they're shooting they're shooting me for the penny saver so if you were keratin oh my god it's a great forum um i wish she'll be dripping in turquoise i'm sorry by the way i take it back it was not the life and style comment the best is when luain failed to realize that she was not actually on the same level as michelle obama oh that was hilarious oh so i'm not i'm not as good as michelle obama no one has ever spoken to me and by the way she wears banana republic okay jay crew jay crew it's like are you offended that she said that you look like the type of person who couldn't even be caught dead in jay crew what is her point luain was so pissed that she's now voting romney like that's happened she's there you suggest i'm not as good as michelle obama okay before we dive in can we just talk about the ladies fashions for a minute because shit is blowing up all over the interwebs and all over our facebook page Ramona's outfit obviously a hot mess kind of rank him for me guys who did you think it was best dressed were stressed last night and feel free to talk about accessories and don't leave out the fact that luain was wearing a midnight blue negligible i actually love the way sonia looked to be honest i thought sonia looked great i thought i agree with you she looked like she wrapped herself to put herself on a toaster she was like in tinfoil right it was a tinfoil look because she was like look i'm a roasted turkey exactly it's my gimblitz i'm a baked potato i don't know i don't i don't really notice the fashion i'm a horrible horrible game oh my god you're a horrible gay did i notice the fact that aviva's face was ghost white in her arms were tan she looked like a fucking corpse well and on top of that she was wearing like a dress that was like the same color as her skin so she's just like a big pale stick yeah and her hair is the same color too and the only thing that you could tell was a different color were her eyes because she had fake eyelashes on and they were marked up with all this black makeup and one is significantly larger than the other and it was freaking me out her eyes can't move anymore she looks like a macaroni character to me at least last last night she did well maybe maybe all like her nice dresses were located on the third floor and that required an elevator to reach damis well what that fell down on the first floor oh um one of my other favorite uh luain things was that's not like any of the princesses i know and and she goes uh yeah i know because you know so many princesses okay you guys clearly like on the show they seem to be okay and during the entire season obviously carol had the best um you'd confessionals when she would go in and she would rip luain but like on camera they seem totally fine but clearly as this season has aired these women hate each other yeah as they always do that's why season one is always lame and season two is always good because they realize that they're really horrible people okay well what did you think of this couch breakdown so we had the three ladies we had romonasonia and luain the returning vets against the newbies of viva heather and carol and do you ronnie you mentioned this earlier do you think that these three newbies do they have another season in them are they stars are they you know formidable opponents for the vets or are they just one season wonders i think that they're bad i think that they'll be asked back i think that if they're not asked back it's going to be bravo admitting that they made a mistake which they just don't do i think they're going to bring jill zarinoff uh remind everybody that they were right and that she's a total insane c-word who doesn't deserve any of our time and they're going to stick by their guns and keep their cast ben what's your take yeah i think i'll keep them because the girls started off slowly in the beginning for sure but um they found their footing and they actually end up being oddly not the stars of the season at the end i agree i actually think that all six are going to come back completely intact i think bravo's willing to go there again the ratings were shitty at the beginning of the season but then obviously should hit the fan the editors did a great job and now i think that off-camera because the women truly do hate each other bravo is like oh we are in the perfect spot for another season oh yeah for sure well especially because aviva turned into such a troll and heather had her finally got her voice and it's been fantastic once she sort of like hit her hit her stride and got over her nerves as she explained she became fantastic okay is she not everyone's favorite because she is forever my fave she really i like she won me over it took a while but she won me over because she is really very self-assured and when you start to her she really suffers no fools she just she comes back with um retorts that are so articulate and so our ticket and fabulous was it when Andy Cohen was saying to her well clearly Ramona has a problem with your smile and heather goes look i could either act like a complete jackass and scream at her and look like a fucking lunatic moron or i could just smile and try to remain as classy as possible in a fucked up situation that was like Ramona you should just go dig a hole and kill yourself and crawl into it oh yeah i mean heathers definitely earned a spot on the show i think all these women have really earned it just by ruffling Ramona so much i mean aviva really has Ramona ruffled and what the hell is up with sonya how dare sonya get on her high bar on her soapbox about how she's worked so hard in her marriage and she put money to her marriage wasn't she like a waitress at carols when she met her husband i mean give me a fucking break well you know ronnie those paintings don't commission themselves i put money into my marriage okay you know nothing yeah i do i know that you were some waitress who married a rich old man for his money and then we're shocked when you got dumped by it and then got sued because you spent it all you dumb bit shut up sonya sonya needs to get on a car with gill zaren so they could crash into a shut up mountain i hate both those ladies right now i should just shut up crash into a shut up mountain should be our first designed t-shirt that we are all going to wear and on our site what does a shut up mountain actually like is it like a does it say shut up when it gets crashed into or is it like a mountain built of shut up or is like a volcano that spews shut up or you just tell the mountain to shut up no you drive really fast and your car is making a lot of noise and you're screaming really loud and then you hit it and it's just silence oh i see i kind of like that doesn't mount on that shuts you up yeah you get sucked in this shut up mountain yeah just i think i think i get the feeling that most mountains would actually do that if you crash into them but yeah it's the beauty sounds probably i guess crashing into a mountain which shut you up without it being your shut up mountain what about a shut up conveyor belt oh my god okay well thank you that was a great transition because that's another bit you need to shut up and i love that aviva's going on well this i never talk about my leg this is the first time i'm talking about this is not the first time you're talking about your leg you talked about your leg five times an episode i still can't go to a grocery store and buy a goddamn zucchini without thinking about your leg getting chopped off as my zucchini travels down the conveyor belt all right you've ruined my shopping experience i don't want to hear about it anymore it's like luain claiming that which is that i never refer to myself as the countess this season i was watching the show and i turned to my friend and i was like but she did for the first four yeah and she did it right now yeah exactly um yeah aviva i thought aviva strategy was all wrong by the way i think aviva needs to make some gay friends i think aviva needs to make friends with taurisa's gay intern who writes her blogs because aviva came in go ahead now you say i think that aviva needs to make friends to shut up mountain she needs to make some kind of friends because i at this point like i really don't see her having many allies on this show and she is so fragile like she's like a delicate little glass bird i feel like she needs to have a buddy and i feel like carol and heather are bff now and they don't want any part of you know shut up mountain crazy broken leg they don't want to be part of that no and it's it's you know romana was right in that aviva stuck by her gun she continued to criticize them and have blogs which is like the greatest in you know like saying something bad on twitter is like the greatest housewives in of all time but she she continues to badmout them until the the readers well ain't that's something because you know these watchers ain't readers so housewives franchise the viewers turned against her and she's right but at the same time aviva has an argument too she can say you know i was overbearing i did get nasty but come on they were acting like white trash they know my husband's coming they're wasted without their clothes on yeah but they it was but i mean aviva was truly in the wrong in a situation she went overboard and quite frankly i feel like she really got nailed last night in the reunion i think as as trashy and as as awful as romana is you know aviva was so out of control i thought romana just just called her out and was like aviva really had nothing to say to it and in fact just to show i mean aviva said like i said my deepest apologies and when romana said this stuff aviva got all feisty again and started right back up again which showed that the apology was not sincere in the first place well it's kind of like when we talk about tereza look romana is a horrible fucking human being if i was even in the same train as romana i would probably take off my belt and hanger ass like she makes me fucking crazy i don't know how anybody is supposed to put up with her and not go completely insane so i think that that should just be aviva aviva should just say yes you know what i was a total bitch but you guys look at where we'll look at where i am i'm forced to be with romana okay the producers made me go to lunch with her and what do you expect i bet that apology made her look real sorry did it did it at the end of the day like i i hated aviva for first first of all the way she speaks down to people like if she if she ever tried to do that to me i'd slap her in the mouth number one number two i don't like the way that she wanted everybody to kiss her husband's ass because that just does not fly and they're not friends with your husband so he that's he's not even part of the equation but at the end of the day i do agree in her calling sonya and romana white trash it has nothing to do with their ethnicity it has nothing to do with their you know financial status except for sony because she is poor white trash however they did act like trashy hoes yeah they acted like white trash i mean i when does that term become so confusing i mean give me a break this is america we're built on white trash you know if honey booboo is the star of tv right now exactly they were trashy hoes but why was aviva so surprised i mean and and get over it i mean like we you know i'm sure what the between the three of us we know a lot of trashy people and we sit and we endure them and then afterwards we talk shit about behind the back behind their backs you know and that's what we do it you don't like yell at them i hear you i totally hear you and we also probably all enjoy going on vacation and acting like white trash hookers ourselves like it's fine but like what aviva does have a stick up her ass i do not understand why she seems to be such like this crazy prude and she also it makes her seem like she's 67 years old too not like she's 40 like i don't understand why yeah when she said that she was like 41 i almost fell off my chair please don't say that she's only 41 yeah please that can't that's not fair i mean i know that they didn't have fish oil back then but it just doesn't it makes me feel bad for her because i feel like you know with all the medical attention she's had over the course of her life no one's told her to just drink water every day me come on okay let me just afraid of it she's hydrophobic she is she definitely is she clearly was like trying to you know smooth things over probably try to get a few of her fans back last night i don't really think that anybody was buying it because she just did lose her shit too hardcore during this past season do you think that this then ends up neutering her for the next season the the way like Jill was playing you know kissy assy like people come love me because i was such a bitch to Bethany is of eva going to do that exact same thing next season or is she just too fucking crazy that she's just going to keep going off the deep end i think she'll just stick to her guns like you know what these women are trash and i think they're trash i think she's very high on making like being a model citizen for her children in a weird way like she's going to carry the flag of being a proper woman you know and i think that she's going to just be like i kind of love that idea i kind of love that like why doesn't she just be there and be like this bitchy uptight school marm who just keeps calling people white trash and calling them out on all their dumbass antics i mean it'll make me hate her but i i also think that Ramona needs somebody to point the finger in her face well i was gonna say i think that what's going to keep her consistent is that Ramona is never going to give her a moment of peace Ramona just doesn't do that she's like a bed bug you don't just ask it to go away you know it just eats you well i was sort of like i was pretty amused by sort of you know Ramona's one of her tricks up her sleeve was to compare Aviva to her like abusive father she's like it reminded me of being in my house growing up i was just like oh god what is your dad you know what i'm not even gonna make it say anything about abuse but Ramona if i was Ramona's father she would probably have grown up with a sock in her mouth and that's abuse she would have made me she probably did crazy she probably did grow up with a sock in her mouth that's probably the abuse i thought that one time he told me i was wrong about some abuse like everything i don't believe shut up Ramona well um what about um uh Aviva telling the story about her leg getting ground up to bed well here's what i was gonna what i was gonna say when i was doing a manure machine sorry yeah i was like why the hell is she playing on a manure machine well it was trying to get rid of this shit in the barn she just no one no wonder why she hates white trash so much because her minds are of herself i mean like you know who plays in cow shit white trash oh yeah she's like you you ladies are manure so here's the thing bruv is gonna keep airing these housewives shows back to back like this on the same schedule where they're you know we're gonna have all these reunions at the same time i think they need to spread them out because they're we're starting to see the same things used over and over right in a row i mean Aviva she is getting nailed to the wall there's no way that she's gonna get out of answering these questions so she starts fake crying about her leg then on jersey you have Melissa being asked about going bankrupt and she ain't gonna get out of that one either because everyone knows that that's true so she starts sobbing and saying that Teresa she's afraid that her children are going to be abused it's like that's just what it is just like crying you know i just i'm going to start crying every time i want something to see if that shit works i'm going to start just bringing out those fake tears for everything if there's not sliced eggs at Whole Foods if they dare put a hard boiled egg on there that's not sliced i'm going to start crying about my missing toe you don't have a missing toe if you go to cafe you'll never have a missing egg yes i will so keep bringing me a plate of eggs and then i'll get my makeup done and turn around and that shit'll be gone she'll be like i don't know did you hate them no it didn't lauren did not eat those eggs lauren do you think lauren has a lot of egg farts ill yeah i think lauren probably vito probably suffocates every night getting egg fart under the blanket it's all so first smelling yeah she's she's taking a trip just stink up mountain yeah she it's probably like snickers eggs what else do you think what else does she eat on that diet well she doesn't do the dr pericone diet she probably she just she just cheats and get her gets her fat sucked out and then she does she can eat whatever the fuck i want to ask you guys do you think that's cheating because everyone's going on about how the slap band is so wrong i don't think it's wrong you do i mean people can do whatever they want can spend their money however they want i have no problem with that but at the end of the day it's cheating but you still can't eat i mean it's not like a magic pill where you just get to eat whatever you want you lose weight then i could see it's cheating but i mean it's forced starvation but it's still like can't you just eat like a spoonful of food at a time well no because then you start eating again i think and then you stretch out the stomach that they've shrunk and then look carney wilson is i think had it five times and she still is 900 pounds well yeah you can win any argument by bringing up carney wilson's i mean that just that that ends any argument yeah it really does carney wilson is really dependable in that apartment okay so do you have any more of new york staff or do you want to move on to me johnnie i will just say can i just say one thing that i'm super excited for because i'm you know i'm just so team heather i cannot wait for her to fight with sonya in the next episode and then sonya actually you know we saw this i think in atlanta somebody whips something out from behind the couch cushions and so yeah actually has the different advertisements for her brand and i just want heather to eviscerate her oh well it's not only the ads for her brand it's that viewers made for her yeah did you catch that part where she's like well the answer this is what the viewers made and these are you know what i wanted and that there's the matter just for absurd new one i mean it's like it's uh it was a free service that she received and she's complaining about it um yeah pretty much but she's worked very hard in her marriage you guys so let's give her credit for that okay let's move on to me johnnie so this show miami is fascinating to me always has been i love it even though it was pretty lame and boring and i don't think anything really happened i just love it i thought it was hilarious i loved all the stuff with corrent and oh my god corrent is the worst she is she really is the worst i love the way corrent doesn't know anything about anything and she just she wanted to take that picture with with the artist and i'll upset that made adriana i see she got to the tweet first she got to the tweet first she made me to the tweet don't i make the tweet is that petty bullshit that actually resonates so much with me because it's like i can see that happening in my normal life you know like i can't see like having a fight the way they the way they fight like wait viva fights or the way it's resuppites but i can see something stupid like i run into a celebrity that i really like and then like a friend wants a picture with a celebrity too i don't know i could see myself getting totally wrapped up in that stupid bullshit that is hilarious i mean while the artist just wants to be close to their boobs like it's four feet tall you know it's like yes i will hug you and take picture yeah he's an eight-year-old troll who is probably sticking his finger up their butts yeah that was pretty that was pretty amazing and i'm going to tweet it to all my art fans it was important moment for me because all true artists are worried about their fucking twitter accounts all day come on yeah and they all follow adriana demora whatever her name is and true art is really posing naked for some perv in your swimming pool come out it was even a good photo of her i'm sorry i made it like that it was like a bad glamour shots it was like a hippie it was very hippie yeah and that's a skinny bitch too yeah um i will take her over carrent i'm sorry carrent was just so inappropriate and poor carrent the girl does not realize that her soap opera boyfriend is clearly cheating on her and she will do anything until i speak like her from that i never thought about him when you break up because i hate him i hate you so much i just feel so bad for carrent i mean she's just trying to be nice i mean look at what that woman is done to her face to try and be accepted she has a turtle nose i don't feel bad for carrents because um i think she's a fake bitch i feel like she's probably like so evil on the inside and she covers up with this smile and it's all gonna come like she's gonna explode one moments well i hope so but i have nothing but respect for a dentist with a PR person they all have PR people out here yeah that's true that's true um i also like so then then later on Adriana was you know bitching about this carrent situation to her friends and lisa was there and then lisa says to us she's like you know i just i'm so uncomfortable with people talking behind other people's backs and then she goes and tells the other girls who weren't there about what happened i'm like you realize what you just did you just spoke behind their backs they don't understand again now i mean i turn the tables on you and they don't understand you're right i thought that with all those boobs that there might be some like brain cells that were like floating around in the silicone for some reason sorry charlie nope nothing's going on there um i also this this weird riff between matt marisol and the drag queen is a little uh it's the drag queen is getting way too much screen time save that shit for drag queens horrible he is horrible how are more drag queens not beat up that's what i want to know that guy is fucking terrible and he's doing drag queens a huge disservice yeah i think all drag queens need to stand up and fight against misrepresentation because that bitch can't even remember what she's fighting about he's mad that he got kept off some red carpet marisol's like that wasn't lea's ball that was another thing and it was the client who made me keep you off and he's like oh well you kept me off and it was you it's like he doesn't even know what he's fighting about right it is the lea and marisol rift is that because um marisol like christy into that uh vent last season yes totally yeah that's that is what it is and for lea to say i mean lea's such a raging bitch and i love her i love her she just does it all in her chicken voice but you know she's she's really got some there well i don't want to blab what she did wrong it's my event i mean i'm being quiet about it so if she wants me to blab it then i'll blab it it's like because you let christian that's your that's your big drama can you break lea love it though oh i just came to see the the man the model the supermodel into the painting oh it sold did you buy it she kind of is the best shit happening on tv right now you know i'll do this down i'll tell it down oh i'll just tear this what a lovely art fair they should tear it down is take it down i want to buy this painting and just invoice me i'm going to buy this painting and draw over it i'm just going to put something else over the painting i'll put a picture of freedom over the painting i'm going to take it to the club i'm going to show the drama the model in the club i just got free to bathing suit i'm going to i'm going to draw freedom their new bathing suit not doing anything you guys are going to pay for a drama i'm going to invoice freedom i'm going to survey lessons and i'm going to put the invoice on the painting and i'm going to call it over and then i'm going to give it to my husband's club who happened to kill someone i'm like i love it hey he's not drunk driving when he just have one drink okay he got wasted after but it's still what he's not drunk driving he's a wonderful man he's a he's very affluent he's a fluent set him up with freedom i love i'm going to send her and i'm going to send Rita an invoice i just wet my pants just like freedom does i'm going to go out on a limb right now i prefer this to even the Madison Hilda brand um and to possibly even the carol i think this is up there with the carol hey well i didn't say anything mean about anybody what are you talking about i buy all my own clothes am i the shacks i'm a journalist i want to be your janning's ghost i'm just on this show because of the zeitgeist oh my god how great is that oh my god anyway the drag queen horrible please plug your eyebrows and stop stuffing with fucking toilet paper like really it's 2012 it's pretty cheap it's awesome you know who else awful is uh joanna's sister martha martha martha really needs to just like dial it down but you know when Ramona was saying take a zanax that has to go to martha because she is too shrill and too annoying and too up her sister's ass aren't you way i mean aren't you convinced that she is sleeping with roman because i am so convinced of that well i hope so i hope so i really do i really hope that that gets ugly because um she needs to do something i mean she's definitely putting herself out there and she's really trying to uh start drama and be a part of things and it's just annoying it's like get get a job do you do anything i can't even talk about her she just infuriates me do something you know what catering is do it get your fucking apartment what are you talking about i'm gonna well she wants me to live with her more than you want me to live with her for free shut up nobody wants you to live with them for free martha well they're also adults it's called you know what you're not like little girls in high school anymore you should not be living together like i said in an like i said earlier you're a beautiful girl take off your clothes and earn some goddamn money and stop being a beggar it's better to be a stripper than a beggar all right she's also she is way prettier than joanna with her nasty ass skin with all those marks all over it i'm sorry but i think martha is way hotter and i'm not even into that shit well unless you're missing a leg and smell like pee and have flies buzzing around your head don't beg like a viva like a viva exactly that's horrible and wonderful yeah yeah someone tweeted at us today that they just finished listening to all our podcasts and they feel like a horrible person but they're not going to stop listening yeah such a wonderful that we should put that on the card so what else happened on miami you know i don't remember i think it was just more um there was more stuff with uh marisole and lea had we're sort of standing around awkwardly and uh and anna had to put a lock on her closet because her daughters were getting into them baby was getting into the closet and i think that was basically it um which is a dc storyline like wow wait a rip off the worst rally lollie it's the return of lollie yeah did they think that we wouldn't remember that i mean god damn we watched the shit out of dc we know this we've seen this let's rip off the worst one wait that was the name of the daughter right lollie yeah lollie she's the daughter of marie lollie should be integrated why people need to start getting their hair done with white people's be fair oh dc my pearls have officially been clutched do you remember that from dc yes i loved it you know there was actually a dc marathon on like about a week ago shocking that they i may have watched the entire goddamn thing oh my god i think someone wrote i think it may have been our old friend cookster i think it was him that could have been someone else said that uh all the wives have now separated from their husbands i think except for marie maybe but marie did marie did yeah marie separated from her husband yeah that came out a couple months ago yeah that was a few yeah but i don't think any of them are together actually yes stacy stacy and and her cute husband they're done i hated stacy uh she's okay i don't believe i didn't believe in straight marriage anyway bitch do you think uh you think linda and uh ebong still still ebonging well she didn't she didn't she didn't want to get married to him she just wanted his bong she just wanted to get ebonged yeah i don't know that's a disturbing thought actually if they're still together well i'm sure that as soon as the bravo cameras like stopped rolling and you know he rolled over in bed and saw her without you know a full face of makeup and hair at six a.m. when the cameras were on he was like oh i am sleeping with you know the kryptons yeah time to move on yeah there's only so much that positive energy cleansing can do exactly so don't you guys miss it you totally miss it i did that was my first housewives that's the first time i'd ever watched housewives and so i loved it i loved it and i i admire linda's bravery for uh opening a modeling uh agency in dc which is really not known for its modeling c i am i am from dc i thought you're about to say that we were all ugly but you know i'll let it say i just say that i don't i don't think it has a it's not a hot bed it's not like the next melon or london or power miami starring joanna crouper yeah okay you don't want to because ocean drive magazine clearly keeps that city afloat it is for the poor people it is so they have something to look up to oh wait that's one thing we have to talk about whoa this is big gossip here um alexus's son punching a homeless guy in the knots on video i did read about that last night you know how much less guilty i felt about saying over and over that he deserved to be in that car wreck yeah i like felt totally cleansed i was like you see he's a worse person than me and he did deserve to be in that car wreck thank you that it was so vile first of all also i'd like to say on a on a purely superficial note even before he punched the bum i was like whoa he's he like lost a lot of his looks like he's definitely become a stone or his hair has grown out he's become sort of like gaunt he needs a he needs a makeover and then on top of that he goes and just punches a poor homeless guy in the knots and videotaped it i mean i almost did that because i was walking home from pink berry the other night at like two in the morning because they're open till two right down the block from us then i know homeless guy tried to steal my pink berry and i was i would have been those homeless people and their health conscious ways i'll tell you i would not have videotaped it but i was ready to be down for my pink berry maybe that got maybe that homeless person was elected to son we went to some bomb on bomb violence look i'm not against punching a homeless person in the nuts but don't tape it i mean are you fucking moron don't tape it it was really cruel i mean you know i will say this this is a very unpc thing to do to say but homeless people drive me nuts okay they're driving nuts in the city they're very aggressive they're always coming at me i know that sounds very privileged but um that being said i wouldn't punch one in the nuts just for fun i mean no i'm not sure they tried to steal my camp my my uh pink berry like matt totally that's why i moved away from venison sanamana because there was too many of them over there and i'm like don't they want to be homeless by the beach get them the fuck out of hollywood jesus wait i have a question picked on back a little bit what happened so this homeless person tried to steal your pink berry what exactly happened i don't think that he thought it was pink berry because homeless people typically want you know other you know meteor yeah i don't know like hamburgers i don't know i'm just assuming every end was like oh wait right i'm also in elitist vegetarian um and i had fruit topping so he probably would have been pissed but um no he can't i don't know ben there are some sir i moved from larchmont village to you know hollywood and it is it is rough for me ben i'm having some i'm having some difficulties hollywood is get oh my god this place this town is really disgusting you know and it's all a sad egomaniacs from all over the world like someone told us we were cute when we were 10 and we're like oh i'll move to hollywood why did we do this this is just stupid yeah we're gonna die here you know that right and matt you know what i'm glad to hear not i'm not glad to hear that a homeless man accosted you but thank you but but last night at like one third in the morning i drove by that pink berry because i thought it was only open to like 12 and i saw people too emerging i saw people i should know is that 150 and i saw people emerging with their little pink berry and i was like wait pink berry is up until two a.m i should maybe go there after hours sometime two a.m but now i am every night the homeless people will be there waiting for me oh yeah because i now take a rape whistle and pepper spray when i go to pink berry at night yes so people will know that know what to come watch while you're getting raped i am gonna i'm going to recruit alexus's son to be my bodyguard anybody who will stack me on my way to frozen yogurt he will punch them in the nuts well i have to say that our neighborhood i don't we've been cultivating some really great homeless people i mean we've got a couple of horrible crazy ones but they're really funny the other night i went out and i went into 7-11 and um i gave one a dollar which you know i'm my ass is drunk if i give someone any but if i give you a dollar you know i'm drunk how dare you open your wallet in front of like a mangy homeless person who might have attacked you and stolen everything well we're all really honing the spirit of Ramona and Sonia right now yeah totally guys it's called rolling in the mud bed okay rolling in it so anyway i gave him a dollar and he goes hey are you a psychic i thought that was hilarious well it's like well done if only i had another dollar to wave in your face before i walked inside um speaking of our hood i i forgot to tell you guys this but i did go to both villa blanca and sir on back-to-back days well thanks for the invite um well a friend took me on a group on to villa blanca oh for at least uh sorry sweetie um god tell you it's a jump inside i mean i've been here i had been there before i think to have a quick drink at the bar but we went early before it actually got dark outside it is a shithole in villa blanca no way i do not believe that the entire place is white on the inside but it's all like scuffed up and dirty i was really it was like a little bit like Sonia's house on the inside oh yeah i think i went there like a year and a half ago and it was i mean i don't actually like the decor it's like very white it seems a little it's very z-galerie but yeah but it wasn't it wasn't ghetto it wasn't like scuffed and pretty i think it's probably because they put it on group on there was a lot of riff-raff up in there with including myself don't get me wrong um and then sir much nicer sir is nice i like sir it's very simple nice but oh didn't we go off about sir oh yeah we did because when we were talking about the Persians on um yeah that other show that you guys love oh gosh the sunset i'm way too racist for this show anymore well we're not gonna so it comes back oh go and hide us well i think what i think we've covered all our bases here wouldn't you say i would say so i think that we should make one prediction about what is going to happen on the next new york reunion what do you predict is going to happen uh i think Sonia will open her legs and several bats will come flying out i think that countess luan is going to admit that pirate cock tastes better than french cock i believe that carol is gonna rip off her face and underneath it's going to be carol channied that's good oh dolly well oh oh dolly oh by the way i'm gonna try i guess i shouldn't announce this before i actually do it but well just do it now i'm going to try to uh get um a lexas bolino on twitter or little friend sent me a link to the miami theme song and it turns out that it's Adriana singing it and it's really hilarious if you listen to the whole thing so if you don't if you don't hear it right now when we sign off to go to the facebook page and i'll post it there awesome okay guys thank you everybody for being here goes subscribe to us on iTunes press like give us stars uh talk shit with us on facebook at facebook.com/watchwhathappens find us on twitter at what crappins uh find matt at life on the m-list find Ben at beside blog and find me runny at tv gazam um i'll be doing uh i did a read up of new york last week and i'll be doing another next week of the jill's errand interview so just check out the video section of tv gazam and that's all i got you boys good yeah all good Ben safe travels to new york tell uh Maggie from gallery girls that we say hi if you bump into her from work cocktails please take a sharpie and write on light poles um shut up jill seren i'll do my best but i don't think i'm actually going to be in this actual city so uh but if i if i make it down there i will try to let's try to get the word out okay everybody shut up jill seren we love you all see you next time true to live i've been around the world since so many places chose my enemy as my home paradise is here i was in here yeah time to get you in the song yeah let's close the ocean dry can you feel the light and fire but the sun is blanch and the pop on trees are swaying welcome to the three love it just really don't rush i'm gonna be just trying to make it all right and it's gonna be all right now rush i'm gonna be in a rush try me and taste and taste my enemy thing like don't you need to be your mama's sita come with me and some dance yeah they fast a lot of fire my end is a fire i've backed my tooth but on the dawn we should be able to just rush you out make you feel the shift in me and i touch it but you think about any kind of thing that rush i'll make you feel the shift in me try me try me try and taste yeah ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ My airwaves my place for the world ♪ ♪ Yours will go ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Show me that fashion, here we go ♪ ♪ Lights, cameras, action, baby ♪ ♪ Take a pose ♪ ♪ The love of a money lady ♪ ♪ Gotta get 'em crazy ♪ ♪ Jumpin' mama say this ♪ ♪ Take me with a runner, baby ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ We live in Miami, y'all ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Traveled up, what was up ♪ ♪ Now I know you can't get it off ♪ ♪ The lights, the glamourish, baby ♪ ♪ Can you handle this? ♪ ♪ Yeah, I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ Can you handle this? ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ My ain't always my place for the world ♪ ♪ Gotta stop ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Gotta make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make your dreams come true ♪ ♪ My ain't always my place for the world ♪ (upbeat music) - If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called, "Wait for it." It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore, because it's here, and it's funny, and I love you. - A few days ago, Brooke Todine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico, and nothing says inspiration better than saving money. 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This podcast is the true story of how it ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit see true crime shows like More Bid, early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Check out exhibit see in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.