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Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Please visit Audible Podcasts.com/bravo for your free audio book download. Hey everybody and welcome to What's with Crapins, our special two-parter of two. Today we're going to be discussing the real housewives of Miami Premier, the reboot and gallery girls and we've also got some good gallery girls too. If you'd like to share with you, my name is Ronny Caroline from TDGuzzle.com. You can find me on Twitter @TVGasm. I'm here with @lifeonthemlist, Mr. Matt Whitfield from Yahoo TV. I miss taping in your house, Ronny. We had fun last week. Oh my god, me too. But now I'm cheating on you because Ben's back and I'm in his house. I'm a whore. I'm in my house to house. And we're also here with Mr. Ben Mandelker in the new Jewish year. 57 something or not? I am on Twitter @TVSightblog. You can find all of us together at @whatcrapins and on facebook at facebook.com/watchwhitcrapins. I actually went on there today, kind of bored and depressed and eating validation. And so many people have been writing on our Facebook. You guys have to know them because you guys are really effing hilarious. So thanks for talking to us on there. And also thanks for all the iTunes reviews and all of the iTunes comments and love. That is so awesome to hear. So thanks you guys. I mean it really, this is going to sound really sad, but nothing makes me happier in the world. I'm like field and soap dish where she goes to that mall in Jersey just so that people recognize her. Are you supposed to help him? Are you supposed to help him? I wouldn't touch my do that. I just got so fucking gay. I love soap dish. Oh I love it too. I swear I could probably pull it out of like somewhere around here. Yeah, I'm right with you. I can't speak anymore. You're starting to sound like Elsa. Where is Napoleon? I need a chair. I don't want to marry soul. I'm going to fall over. We started there naturally. So let's talk about Real Housewives of Miami, the reboot. They have changed it. They've added about 20 women. It's like, it's the biggest cast in history. I do have to ask you guys this before we dive in. Did they need to reboot Miami? The first season was a little bit of a mess. It only had about five or six episodes and it also had shittier ratings in the Real Housewives of DC. Tell me why it's bad, why you think it's back and if you're happy and if so, why? May I answer that please? Yes. My hand is raised. My hand is raised. I'm going to call on Ben. My hand is not only raised. I am internally doing like a Chiquita banana dance in honor of our Miami. We're a glorious Stefan dance. The rhythm got me. What can I say? But so here's the thing. They needed to reboot this because Miami is first of all a big city and full of godliness. Full of godliness, but it's also it's the they don't have anything for Latinas and each one of these housewives franchises sort of covers a stereotype. They need the Latinas and you know they just didn't do it right the first time as we all know we've talked about how it was previously a different show re-edited together. For the premiere, I definitely felt like it was in the right place. It went they the tone was where it should be, which was that there was more of an emphasis on the sexy Miami feel to it. Um sort of glamorous. Catty women who have these weird intricate relationships with each other. They were hitting you. You could tell there was more tension right away. There was a lot of tension from the get go. Normally with these these reboots or even with a new season with returning cast members, it sometimes takes a few episodes before we we really get ramped up, but these women are rare and they're ready. They are and you really feel like this feels more like Miami. Last time it felt sort of like this flaccid group of women and and this time it's like this long hair, the long dresses, the big boos, well they also know more Latinos this time. They also know that they are now officially members of the Real Housewives franchise. When they like you mentioned when they were first taping, it was some sort of like Miami social, but not Miami social and it just didn't come together properly. Now they know like Miami dinner club or yeah, but now they cooked food or some shit, but when you know that when you see somebody like a Bethany Frankel go from hawking, uh, Pepperidge Farm cookies on the side of the road to the, you know, the leader of Skinny Girl and you see all these other women selling their products, selling their wares and becoming, you know, magazine cover staples, you're gonna fucking bring it. Yeah. So Ronnie, are you on the same page as Ben? Do you think that they should have brought it back in the first place? I am a hater on the show and I don't think they should have. I recap season one at TV Gasm and I, you know, when you recap a show, especially at TV Gasm, because there we will write a 10 page recap. So you talk about every single thing that happens and you joke about every single thing that happens. So no matter what the show is, if I recap an entire season of it, I pretty much love it by the end. And plus when I was doing that, I was also doing with you. We were doing Ben's last podcast, that's why I fell down. And we were talking about it all the time. So I had so much real household wise of Miami in my blood that I loved it. I loved it because the women were so funny. I come from a border town. So I'm used to my Latinas and I love some Latinas. Are you secretly a Latina? Um, secretly, yes, you have not made me mad yet, but I'm not the kind of person who will get mad and talk behind your back. I'm the kind of person who will put sugar in your gas tank. I'll, um, steal your cat and mail it somewhere. Oh, like I own a cat growth in shields. I will, um, I'll put, you know, I'll find someone with herpes and rub your toothbrush on it. Like, I'm a very vindictive Latina inside. Yes. I feel like it. And I'm so glad to see him back. And also this year, and they got rid of a bunch of the lameness and they added young bitches because what you learned this year from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was you had a young bitch on there and everyone's going to get pissed off. I do think that that's a really, really smart move on their part. I love how they keep playing up the angle of like, Hey, we're hot new young bitches and we're taking over from the old guard. I think that that is going to play out throughout the entire season. I mean, the problem is I can tell that there are definitely two younger ones and there's definitely a few older ones. The rest are all somewhere in the middle and I think that they want to pretend they're young, but they're not. I just like how every time the word old is mentioned in any context, cut to Leah, cut to Leah. How far is that? Oh, one thing I used to call Leah in the recast was chicken lady, like it's in the hall chicken lady. I think I actually think it's Kim G after plastic surgery because she was going to do anything in her power to get on over housewives franchise. I had to say, seeing Leah back on screen, I was so happy. I didn't even realize how much I missed her until she got back there. I started looking at this house. I was like, teardown, teardown. I was like, oh, I missed this crazy house. And I bought in the house and everything needs to be fixed. What are you going to do about this? Seven little boys, where's an invoice? She really should be the mascot for Chick-fil-A. Oh, she does not shut up. She's so pretentious and obnoxious and I love every move. I love her. She's my favorite. Why don't we go through all the new leads? Yeah, because to be honest with you, like, I can't, we need to say all seven of their names because I don't know, like, I can't keep it straight. I don't remember any of their names. I think, oh wait, there's one named Karen. Karen. She is the dentist, the dentist, the stars. She's the dentist, the stars, who's screwing the telomevella star, who's cheating on her with potentially Anna, who is the lawyer slash divorced from the doctor, who makes penis jokes in front of his kids. The thing with Karen, what was so funny about her, it was that, and I don't mispronounce your name, but I'm sorry if there's a T at the end. We're just going to affect my pronunciation. Karen, but for Karen, I'm gonna call her Karen. So the thing is with her is even before it came to light that she was dating a soap star, her whole life looked like a soap opera. She's like this woman in, like, big boobs, tight dress, and she all has this ridiculous doctors, well, although dentists, uh, jacket on, which is exactly like a telomevella, where you have someone who looks nothing like a dentist. And then, right, and then she walks in and she meets her patient, she shows some pictures of her naked on her cell phone, and then she fucks it in the chair to death. And he's lip hanger. And by the way, the guy in the, the guy in the chair was like a classic telinevella comic relief, you know, with like the clowns. He was totally good guys, you know, he's like, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, I'm mommy. And that was actually the moment when I was like, I think I love the season already. That was like the first vignette. It was the first vignette. Well, just also how the Latinas do it. I mean, having, living with your mom, you know, she's, she's like, it's very traditional for people to live with their parents until you get married. Oh, you're like 60 years old. I know, right? Like, we're not, we're gonna round up. We're not gonna round down. You're not close to your 20s anymore. Let me ask this though. I mean, I've never like, live with my parents, you know, since I left for college. How do you have like sex with your man, if your mom's like in the other guest room? Like, is that weird? You just blasted Laura Stathon and hope no one hears. Oh, okay. Oh my God. Well, I think they do hear because they both have that look of, I hate you on their face. It's not a smile. And then you've got the boyfriend, the telenovela star sitting down there making jokes, like sex jokes and dick jokes. Like how big his balls are. And he's totally cheating on their daughter jokes. And they just look like they want to stab him with a knife. I love it. And dumb ass and dumb ass Karen doesn't believe that she's actually being cheated on. And I think Karen is the one who slaps someone in the previews. I think that's her. I can't be sure. Karen will hug you. She looks, I mean, she looks vicious. I know it's like a fighter. There was all this ridiculousness about, oh, well, you know, the Colombians are so nice. The Colombians are the nice ones. I'm like, I never turned on. They're like that. Or hello. I'm like, anybody sees Scarface? Yeah, I'm like, I think the Colombians, if I may, yeah, they're the ones who are going to stab you in the eye when you like look at their man. And I think that's right. Including Shakira. And I think that's why she was cast on the show. Oh my god. Okay, so we have Karen. Karen. We have Anna who is the aging doctor with the ex-husband. No, no, she's a lawyer. The lawyer who has the ex-husband that she's still like BFF with. I like her immediate. And she looks a little Giana. She's kind of the bigger one. She hasn't had a ton of plastics. She looks her age. She looks her age like lions main of a hairdo. She looks like she she looks smart. There's nothing better that seems that reads smart, right? And it's also something that reads a little chow chow. Yeah, she's got a chow chow. Oh, yes, I'm like, I'm a cat person. So kids who seem to love her. I like her kids. It's been who seems to love her. She seems very funny and funny. I think her ex-husband's kind of hot. He looks also younger than her, right? Yeah. If anybody looks like a dentist is that guy. Yeah, I know it. They're all playing different roles. Okay, so we have Corrent. We have, we have, like, she's not going to have any drama at all, but then she's the one who's mystery testing. Corrents or whatever her name is. Her telenovela star. I love that you, like Alex Trebek, whenever like a Hispanic Latina slash word comes up on Jeopardy. He automatically gets some fucked up fake accent. I love that you're going to do that all season long. I feel like we all have to do that with the real houses of Miami. Me, me, me, me, Johnny. What do you like to ta ta? Hi, how are you? I'd like some iced tea and a quesadilla. I have ceviche. Ceviche makes me crazier than that. Anywho, okay, so we have, we have Corrent, we have Anna, we have the return of Marisol. Marisol, by the way, is only there because Elsa is brilliant. Marisol does nothing. Marisol does not need to be on the show. Do we all agree? No, because you know what, that bitch must be crazy. She's three husbands. I mean, she's just lost her third husband. How old is she? She's starting to look like her mom, which is not all I know. Yeah, there's got to be something going on there that we haven't seen yet. And she's going to get broken down this year because she's going to be fighting with Leah and nobody goes up against Leah. Yeah. Okay, so speaking of Leah, Leah will be number four in this list. I'm trying to get through these seven because I'm getting totally lost. Leah is secretly my favorite. She's great. I honestly with Leah and and Marisol, Elsa, they honestly, that's all they're and they're pals and I love it. They're fantastic. That he wants. If Mama also wasn't enough of a breakout star, they brought a new breakout star, which is Mama Elsa's Maid. Oh my god, they need to have their own show. I want Mama Elsa's Maid to serenade her into a drunken, stupor snoring fat nap every week. Oh my god. And make sure the Zen garden is there too for Elsa. Okay, seriously, for Christmas this year, I just want shells and sand and a big die, like a big, just some dice in a big bowl and I want to rub it on my body. And I want, I want Elsa to cry at least once for episode because when she whales, she's the most hilarious whaler of all time. She's like, hey, my soul Napoleon is missing. For those of you who did not see it, it starts with Marisol going over to Mama Elsa's house and she's telling us how sad she is that she's probably breaking up with her husband and the mom's like, good, I'm glad you, I'm glad it didn't work out. You do something else. Get a hobby. And then Marisol starts crying and runs to the bathroom and Alma Elsa makes it all about her and entered Mama Elsa's maid, who is like, calm down, honey. I forgot about that. It was genius. To calm Elsa down and then Elsa goes over to her spirit rocks and starts rubbing sand. Oh my god. Maybe it'll be life changing. I mean, Ronnie, we might as well try it, right? With the rubbing the sand, the maid? I would, I would have a maid who sings. Okay, you can be serenaded and I will exfoliate. So, okay, we've only discussed four of them. We have three others. All I, the only other one I remember is Joanna Krupa. Right, who is the most famous, arguably the most famous cast member to head girl. She step down. She's fighting for the cover of the thrifty nickel. What the hell is she taking? I love that people think that Miami Drive is like a legit magazine. Let me tell you right now, Ocean Drive, that shit is like a free fucking rag that you get out of like a new stand like on the corner for seriously. I think it is free. I'm not even kidding you. I remember this shit was like trying to be popular when the real world went to Miami in season five and it was like Flora's like, I'm in a model and it's like this magazine is garbage. Yeah, you know, Joanna Krupa, honestly, you know, there was a part of me that was sort of hoping to see this nice side of her, but she just really sort of confirms every stereotype you have about models, which is that they are self-involved bitches. Yeah, and they're hideous people and they're mean to everybody in their life and they are ungrateful whores. And they get attached to asshole guys who drive around stupid cars and make fun of their sisters. I will say, however, that she is fucking gorgeous. I make fun of their sisters. Don't you think she's hot? I think she is hot, but I will, but let's not get some room. She looks like an EP. She's a little Reese Witherspoonie, which is me. Reese Witherspoon isn't ugly, but she's sort of like normal looking, and my friend with Joanna Krupa is- How dare you. Well, you know, Reese Witherspoon's whole thing is not that she's a hot E is that she's the girl next door. She's the country southern bell, but Joanna Krupa is like the Euro Polish hot version. Well, here's the- Oh my god, you have a baby in a bar. Okay, Ronnie, sweet home Alabama references, really? I would prefer an election. Give us some Tracy. What's her name? Tracy Flick. But here's the thing though, Joanna Krupa, she is obviously a famous model. She's on Dancing With The Stars and a lot of other stuff, but she's really not a supermodel on the level of other supermodels. She's just a famous model. I would call her a famous model. I would not call her a supermodel. And she's acting honestly. I would call her a dumb lollipop headed bitch who's pretty cool. I'm going to say, I'm going to quote Carol. I'm going to quote Carol, tell us how you really feel. Well, I mean, come on. We've seen these girls all the time in LA. Oh my god, I've got five more years of being pretty. I'm going to fuck the ugliest richest guy I can buck and be mean to everybody. And then when I'm old, I'm going to suddenly be nice and wondering why people aren't taking me to dinner parties and not for me to walk by that for free. Her boyfriend, her boyfriend may be a drunk bloated asshole, but I think he is hot. Real? You know, I can see him. He's like a tractivish, but he probably looked hotter 10 years. Yeah, I mean, he's handsome in a leathery. You need to do one more button on your shirt kind of way. Like that guy looks like youth came to his birthday party and just punched him in the face like 50 times. Maybe that's my type. He seems so sketchy. He seems so above and beyond sketchy. The amount of cocaine that's probably coursing raging through his system. Right, I think a guy in his 50s who has leather skin. Not in his 50s. He's probably 33 and just road hard, but let's let's get to a point. If you're dating an older guy that's partying until six in the morning and owns a club, that's just not good. It's never going to be okay. Well, aren't we all want to deal with a club owner? We're all convinced right that he's clearly fucking her sister, aren't we? Because they have like that really like rocky relationship. He's clearly doing her. He's probably fucking a lot of people, including Marta. Or do you want to group us doing Elsa? And it's too hard and expecting her sister to be supported too. It's like, you know, he's fucking you and he kind of has to support you. That does not include your entire family, honey. Get a job, okay? Here's the problem. Joanna Crouper is allegedly this. Well, not allegedly. She is a legitimate model, but you know, her dating this guy is like the same thing as if you told me that Nicole Kidman started dating the situation. It just does not work. And it brings down her brand as a model. It does. Well, and I'm very concerned about the Joanna Crouper brand. Well, and also appearing on a reality TV show, isn't that kind of like she's throwing in the towel? She's like, well, fuck it. I can't. I can't book a maxim anymore. I can maybe only get Ocean Drive. I might as well join the Real Housewives of Miami. You know who they should bring back for this show? They should bring back that woman who ran the agency on 8th and Ocean. Remember that brilliant show from in the studio? What was her name? Lisa. It was Marie. Marie something she should be on this show. Ronnie. Ronnie. That was a day to us. Ronnie's every day to us. So and it's actually making me feel so much smarter than you guys. And I'm actually just sitting back. It was a brilliant. It was such a good show. It was. I loved it. I think that models in general, you know, you can make a lot of money when you're a super model, which she's not. But you can make some money, but it's kind of like actor money. It's like, you know, if you're a sea level actor, you've done some stuff and you get paid really well for that day of work, but it's only a day of work. And that money is not going to last you forever. And you got to use that. You better. You better get a deal for it. You better go get your condo in Valley Village and just, you know, shop a Ralph's with with a coupon. This. So if you have a Gara dies and stops taking all the goddamn spokesperson jobs and get a get a commercial for a couple of years or something like that. But that's Joanna Krupa has not done that. And unfortunately, she's running a dirty ass club on her dick to get it. I don't feel prior for her. I think she's me, the old people. Her her career beyond modeling is this. Like eight years ago, she was in one of those weird shows where I was like her and Torelloans and like other people, like celebrities and athletes, unlike a competing competing on like an obstacle course. I saw that I lost sand blast on MTV, but not quite that. Yeah, then she's on Dancing the Stars and was like eliminated first or second or something like that. Yeah, she did not go far. And now she's here. The point is this. If she, if I truly believe that if she had a good, a larger brain in her, in her beautiful head, that she would have a little bit more of a empire going on by now. Right. I mean, like how many reality shows do you need to be on before you can get a product in the marketplace? I love, I love how we sit here talking about this woman who's actually very successful and we're bashing her for not being more successful while we're sitting here, late night podcasting. This is a wonderful thing about being a hypocrite. You can throw stones like that. It's like, I'm almost 40 years old. You know what I do all day? Nothing. Like, sit around eating. I've gained 60 pounds in like three months. I've watched fucking, I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix last night, like all night till seven in the morning, you guys. Ronnie, that bitch gets out of bed. Okay, give me that. Do you need an intervention? Are you crying for help right now? I don't know what's going on. When Buffy DVDs get dusted off, that is always a cry for help. I never watched the first time. I've been in the house, housebound. I'm like one of those guys that's going to have to be cut out of their trailer. I've been in the house watching movies and then I realized I wasn't even, I thought it was massive depression, but then I realized I'm not depressed. I'm actually living my dream and my dream is to sit around doing fucking nothing eating all day and watching Netflix. I'm actually happy. You're like the anti-Joanna Crouper. You're the opposite of the spectrum. I've achieved my goal so I can make fun of that bitch. Okay, good for you. Okay, Joanna Crouper was five on the list. There are two other cast members and I don't know who they are except one has big tits and is married to a plastic surgeon. Okay, so that woman, I don't remember her name, but we can talk about her next. Looks like a blow-up doll. She looks like a blow-up doll. She's one of the young ones and when I say young ones, I am flashing air quotes. She, so her big thing is she's like, my husband, he saw my ass first. He saw my ass. He fell in my ass first and then he saw my face. He's like, "Oh good, I'm so glad your face matches the ass." And I'm just thinking, so does your face look like an ass? Is that what it looked like before? Well, I also think that she looks like a baby elk, mama, Elsa. She is not pretty in that face. She is like, that's like pressed up against a window. And how about her housekeeper/soon-to-be-pastor who wants to get fake boobs and liposuction? Who is, whose main goal is to hide all of her shopping excursion purchases? She could be the heir apparent to Jesus' jugs. It's not bringing up Alexis, it's going to make me cry. We're going to get sued. We're going to get sued. That's true. We're going to get sued for mentioning Jesus' jugs. Okay, you guys, that's six of the cast members. Who the fuck is the seventh person? Oh, what's her face? Adriana. Adriana. I actually like her. I love her. She is back too, right? No, no, no. She's not an official cast member. Yeah, she's just a friend of the housewives. Because it's actually sad because her... 15-year-old son was in a terrible, terrible car accident. Luckily, he survived. And I believe that she got demoted because she couldn't do too much filming because she really was nursing him back to health. But it's actually all right because... She's on the mix. Well, yeah, she's in the mix. I always liked her, but she wasn't very interesting. Like, she was very nice, and actually... She was very chameel, grammar. No, not even. She had that quote last season. She runs a magazine, because it's called Miami or something. And this magazine, she's like, "We do this as a public service for the poor people because to look forward to or to look up to, they need people to look up to, and that's what we do. We give them that in the magazine." Like, no irony at all. Oh, yeah. That was great. I feel bad for her kid. Because remember, she has two sons. One is this super hot son playboy who's off banging chicks doing whatever. And then she had Frankie, the sweet introspective little nerdy kid. And he's the one who went up in this accident. I want to know if he's okay. Isn't that terrible that I was okay when it was the hot one, but now I'm sad because it's a nice one. Yeah, exactly. But we all, I mean, the point of these housewives shows and these franchises are, we like to see the rich, beautiful people crumble. Yeah, want to see them all in the car crash. But also, you know, the hot one, another reason that it would be nice to see him in a car crash is because she was really, I don't understand, acting hurt. We're like over here gasping because you're such a bitch. I'm sorry. It's been a long day. It's hot, and you heard what I just said, right? So I, the other good reason it would be good for him to be the one in a car crash is because last season he was out drinking all night. He was drunk all the time. You know, she's like, it's hot. Have fun, honey, but please don't drive drunk again. Maybe call me this time. It's like, bitch, why are you giving your son thousands of dollars to go get wasted every night and drive around and possibly kill someone? So that's the reason it would have been karma if it was him. But the other one was so nice. He didn't deserve it. He'll be really interesting. I mean, we need to hear more about this. I think we will see. I'm very curious to know, like, was he in a car accident? Was he hit by a drunk driver? Like, it'll be interesting to see if that plays out. Yeah, I would like to know. There's probably walking in a crosswalk and his drunk ass brother probably ran in there. By the way, the brother, by the way, side note, the brother is the sort of physical quality I would expect Joanna Krupa to be bringing in banging, not some skeezy-ass club owner. Well, she follows the cash. You know, we're gigas. We bang for ass. Women bang for money. At least on the show. Have you met me? I like to bang for both. Yeah. I've never found both in the same package. That's true. Two words with one stone, right? Isn't that just saying? Only get by on that. They don't get by on working. Okay, can we talk about my other cast member that I actually like her? I think it'll be a big mistake for her to move onto that hideous one down the fucking ship boat of a yacht. But I actually like her. I like her man. I like their relationship. And she's like the only semi-normal one except for me. Well, I don't think she's semi-normal. She's crazy. And I love how she's on this boat with her weird boyfriend. She's like, "I only want one thing on this boat." And so I'm thinking like, "Oh, a room for my son." And she's like, "A walking closet." I'm like, "That's my stuff gonna fit." What about my baby grand piano? Since when did she have a baby grand piano that she cared so much about? Is she like Liberace of Miami? Well, her story from season one is that Leah met her because bitch was sleeping in the art gallery. She was in the art gallery and sleeping her. She divorced her husband and was homeless in her summer sleeping in an art gallery, which isn't fun. I'm not laughing because of that. I'm laughing because Adriana's story is that she like claws her way up through Miami. So now she's got this rich dude who's instead of being like, "Baby, you're gonna move in with me. This is gonna be great." He's gonna be like, "You're on a boat, bitch. Here's your boat." I can't believe she's moving on to a yacht. Is she crazy? It's gonna take him seven years to renovate it. And I really have a feeling that the real housewives of Miami will be done after season two. This is gonna wind up as Gilligan's adventure part two. Gilligan, newness is his adventure. And there's gonna be a hurricane and they're gonna get lost in the Bermuda Triangle and their yacht. We'll never see them again. Actually, and then like three seasons later, they'll end up just randomly docked at Leah's dock on Star Islands. How good is that? Let's do it in the yacht. Tatoms. So, I'm Rosie. We're neighbors with Rosie. Okay, I am not the biggest Rosie O'Donnell fan, but can you imagine if you're Rosie O'Donnell and you have Leah on one side and you have that new crazy plastic Barbie whore on the other side, Rosie must be like, "I'm straight, I gotta get out of here." Are you kidding? Rosie pulls a Ronnie every day of her life. That bitch is seeing everything on Netflix. She probably has Alpoya local delivering to her door. She's sitting in her craft room. I'm upside down with her. She probably loves that Barbie girl. That Barbie girl has got big boobs. I'm sure Rosie's a boob girl. Do you think that she likes to motorboat? Oh, yeah. Of course. If you're Rosie, why do you think you need to be on the water? You'd love to motorboat. Yeah. It's probably her favorite thing to do. That Barbie bitch girl, towards the end of the episode, they finally had some sort of party. This is the party where Elsa fainted and had to be sent off. Dragged out. Dragged out. But Leah came in and I was like, "Hi, how do you do? How do you do?" And she didn't hug, I guess, this Barbie bitch. Whatever her name is. She looked there like she was going to throw up and walked right past her and gave love to Momma. She should have done. Do you blame her? I think that Barbie bitch's face is so hideous. She's like, "Oh my gosh. She's so good." She's so nice and old and not nice to me. Is that all about the new class? I need some Botox. Can you get some Botox? She's not very classy. They all loved it. All of these dumb bitches on all these shows love to throw around the word class. Whether it's Luan, whether it's this Barbie whore, they all love to use the word class and none of them are classy. The funny thing about the Barbie whore one is that she has big boobs and we've seen it before, a kid, Jesus jugs. But this girl's boobs, it's like they're up at her clavicle. They start at her neck or something. They are here. She was so proud that her Una boob got fixed, but I don't know. I think she's got some... She shouldn't be proud of that. She looks like one of those rubber pieces that drag queens wear when they don't want to get a boob job. It goes around their neck and it's like a rubber thing that hangs down. It's big like boobs. That's what it looks like. It's gross and her husband looks disgusting too. You know what? At least we're used to seeing women like this and especially living in our city. We see them all the time. But you see a woman with a face that doesn't move and it's injected with so much shit from their ass. It's like, you're used to that. But a guy, it just does not look right. It's not right. And I'm speaking to you, Jeff Lewis, if you're listening. And Dennis Quaid, who I noticed on my airplane movie, yesterday, clearly looks like he hasn't had a little bit of... Oh, he's had more than Meg Ryan. Yeah, and how about even Steve Martin? I think he's had some stuff. Keep her solo in, Michael Douglas. Look, we live in this city. I'm going to think in about six, seven years. We're going to have to do it too. No, he won't. I would like to... We're the Joanna Krupa's of the city. Oh, I forgot. Like, maybe we'll have some... I'd like to lose weight and then I know I'll have a waddle. So I'd like to get that cut off. But I don't want everything pulled back. Like, I think he should do it a little bit at a time. Yeah. Tasteful. Tasteful. Class. You got to have class. Elegance. Elegance. So, I think basically the... I think we can wrap up Miami and say, "I'm excited for it. I'm excited for the season." Look, I'm committing. I'm recommitting. The ratings were not great, though. I will say they barely squeaked over a million viewers, which, you know, is... They had a terrible first season, that's why. But the word of mouth, I think, will go up. I think the word of mouth will help carry the show. I do think it's good that they have infused the cast with some younger, evil, monster whores. Yeah. And, Leah, all I need to say is one word, Leah. How right is that? So, I just cannot wait to see what she's up to because she's obviously going to get a huge role this season. And I'm so excited to see what her and her mate are going to do. Don't you think that Elsa deserves, like, more money than the other cast members? I told you. Oh, yeah. She was, I mean, she was the selling point. All the ads. I mean, she... Her existence is to make gifts and memes, right? Yeah. Absolutely. She's brought the first gay dog on to Bravo. The first officially gay dog, she's brought on to Bravo, which I... Napoleon. Why are you thinking heights in the clothes? Yeah, you're dating. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now, I know that I've asked you a thousand times, Ben. A thousand questions! Are you still going as, uh, Susie Orman for Halloween, or can you maybe go down the house though? Well, here's the thing. I haven't actually... Choose your momma Elsa voice when you answer this question. Thank you. I haven't found people. Now, it just sounds like a deaf. You're like deaf. You're like deaf Chewbacca. You're deaf Chewbacca. So, have you a sick deaf plus Chewbacca plus little Latina accent? You do get Elsa. So, because I was Napoleon Marie, so I was in the closet. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ronnie, if you were going to go for Halloween as any real housewife cast member, who would you go as? The Monk. The Monk? That's the only costume I had. A friend made it for me like 10 years ago, and I wore it every Halloween. Was there a real housewife's monk? I asked him which housewife you would go. Gonna be Elsa. She always looks like she's wearing Monk's robes. Okay, then Elsa. The bald one. I'm gonna go as the bald fat one who wears a Monk's robe every time. You gonna look like Uncle Fester. I'm not a fan of drag, drag queens actually kind of scare. I don't like drag either. Wow, you guys are haters. I'm not haters. Um, I just, I feel uncomfortable. Like, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. Oh my God. I like that, Ronnie. And draw on your eyebrows and get some lee press on nails. You know, we're talking like that because Christy's not on the show anymore. Oh my god, you guys. Christy got totally fired from the show because she did not make a reservation or better go to Leah's gala last year, and now she is not gonna be on the show like, like, like, you guys and all my friends were there and like, so I went anyway because my friends are there. So I don't get my time. I came to your stupid event. So that's what I donated like, okay? All right. Speaking of stupid events, let's stay in Miami and let's talk about the gallery. Art Basel. Um, and how my arch nemeses Chantal and Claudia packed up their wares and headed down to me, Jami's. It was like the characters from Coraline arrived in Miami when they showed up, sloped over, you know, hunchbacked fishneted bathing suits, witches, hats, and like, satchels and cauldrons instead of like a styrofoam cooler full of beer, it was a cauldron full of wine, not from Oregon. I was waiting for like Tim Burton to show up and put down some like, naughty trees and some strange puppets. Yeah, a sea creature. Yeah. Um, anyway, I hate them. I really hate the brook girls with all of my being. Their pop Claudia is such a, she's Chantal, I'm sorry. Claudia, you know, Claudia is nice and spacey and she's, she should be working at a CVS. She should not be working in the century. Why a CVS? Because I feel like she could tend to patients needs or something like that. Wait, you're gonna put her in a pharmacy? Well, because if anything, she should be like scanning my trident. No, no, she should be, you're right, she's not at the pharmacy part, but she's, she's one of those people when you go to the pharmacy, she's wearing like a little vest, she's a little smock or a vest and you see her in an aisle, she's like putting a toothbrush on an aisle and you say, hey, um, where, where's the mouthwash? And she's, um, I don't know if we have that, but if we do, it might be in the next aisle or the aisle after that, but I'm not sure. I'm like, that's what she's meant to do. That's what she doesn't realize. She might be able to like man the blood pressure tester, but she probably mess it up. She probably would think it's like the ice cream scoop, you know, because now like right, it has ice, the ice cream station. Yeah, which is weird. And they shouldn't, a pharmacy should not sell ice cream. It always creeps me on. I always like, there are definitely hypodermic needles in that praline cream. Yeah. I mean, you can see, like, I feel like a farm, like, like a CVS or a Rite Aid is really Claudia's speed. Like, oh, are you getting that tubular round? Do you want me to ring that up or no? Or is it a, I think, do you want to cook books on sale? But I maybe not, maybe it's crossword. Do you, do you, do you have a membership card? You have a rewards card? No? Oh, okay. No, that's fine. Okay. Do you want to pay, do you want to pay with cash? Okay. Credit? I don't care. I don't think that we take American Express so that might be a problem. But maybe you could pay in like, rollos? Here's some rollos. How much do you want to pay for that? Do you think it's cool? Don't get me started. Don't get me started. I think you can flush that toilet paper, but I'm not totally sure. But I think there's a manufacturer's number and you can ask them if the toilet paper is flushable. You should try it and then come back and tell me so that if somebody else asks me, I can tell them. The rollos are on sale, but I don't know about the challenge we're doing. It's like the dullest person ever. How is she on a TV show? And we're not. So because she is friends with Michelle who's like, I really don't think that an art pop-up at an art show is what we should be doing right now. We have to buy light bulbs and I don't think that you thought about the light bulbs. So I am not going to do the pop-up, but if you would like to do it, by all means do it, but I am not going to. I am not going to do the pop-up because I think pop-ups are a little not cool, but you do it. I want to relax for my busy life. I want to relax in the sun and not get an A-Sun. And maybe my gay boyfriend Spencer and I will not be doing the pop-up, so you just do it. That girl, she gave me my favorite way to fight, which is how I'm going to fight next time I'm in an argument. If I'm in an argument, it's not going my way. I'm just going to start crying. It makes everybody uncomfortable. Did you see that as soon as those fake tears came out, Claudia was like, fine. We'll talk about this later. She's like, why are you crying? I don't know. Whatever. I don't know. Claudia was like, I think there's some tissues in aisle six if you're crying. I'm not sure though. How much of a bitch though is this Chantal who is showing up late every day going like, well I heard that you don't really work ever and that the stores never open, and by the way, Amy and I opened the store and you did nothing. Actually, Laura and I, we did this all, so Laura. Laura. Laura's the one who doesn't even get a fucking chiron and just sits in the background, but she did all the work. Yeah. Laura's the only one with parents smart enough to say, bitch, if you go on that show, we're cutting. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said, yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous to your contracts, they said, what the fuck are you talking about? You insane Hollywood. So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. It took a lifetime to find the person you want to marry. Finding the perfect engagement ring is a lot easier. At blunile.com, you can find or design the ring you've always dreamed of with help from Blunile's jewelry experts who are on hand 24/7 to answer questions and the ease and convenience of shopping online. For a limited time, get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more with code audio@blunile.com. That's $50 off with code audio@blunile.com. When you off, we're not investing $15,000. Me and college, you're going to get a job and you're going to make some money and not making an ass out of yourself and us on TV. Meanwhile, for some reason, I'm starting to like Amy Moore. I don't know why. There's something about her. A pendulum swings, I'm telling you. It does swing. I mean, even though she has really, you know, she took pictures based with an Instagram filter. And even though I have to begrudgingly agree with Chantal that photography is just a little easy. I don't tell that to Angela. I don't know. I sort of like, did I say Angela? Did I say Amy? Amy. Oh, well, I like both of them actually more. Amy is like watching Peppermint Patty lie down under a donkey and just watching it shit all over her face for an hour. That's what it's like watching Amy. You know, I'm a little bummed because I, when I was in New York there, I did have a chance to go to a party being thrown by Amy and I didn't get to go to it. What was wrong with you? It just didn't work out. And apparently, you would have been the only one there besides she and her brother. I know, apparently, it was hosted by, it was like Amy and like the, it was in conjunction with some ridiculous like hip hop website called like, like, hey, that's some news or something like that. It was like as ridiculous something was that it was awful. How is she affiliated with them? I don't know. But, you know, my feeling with Amy is, I'm gonna do feel bad for her. I feel like she is so nice. And the fact that everyone on this bitchy cast keeps saying, you know, Amy, she's really nice. Okay, well, here's the thing, like Amy, she's kissing their ass. But one of those people is like, oh my God, I'm gonna pay for your brought mitzvah. And I'm gonna just do it because I want to, because I like, of course you're gonna say she's nice, you know, but then she's gonna get wasted and fuck half your uncles and make an ass out of you and everybody, you know, I thought bar mitzvah. Okay, but don't you think for it? She was completely set up to be fired by that horrible art bitch. No, oh, I love that art. I love that one. I hate her. I love that one. But, you know, Amy did not handle herself. The woman basically said, like, you did this. And Amy, Amy should have been like, oh, I'm sorry, you know, she should have said what she told us. She said, I was delegating. And I thought I had seniority. Yeah, she's like, I'm sorry, I'm, I misunderstood. I was trying to actually show you that I was like a cell star. But instead, she was like, oh, I don't even remember doing that. Oh, it was like a joke. She told us that in her testimonial or whatever, because she had already been fired and she had come up with that excuse. Yeah, she knew that she was not doing the right thing. That bitch comes to work late. She barely shit was up half the time. Okay, can you, did you have favor for a second? Can you get off Carrie's jock? Because she is a big old bird face dumb fuck prostitute at night. And she is not an amazing, she has no fucking art background, Ronnie. Yeah, but nobody, nobody on the show has an art background, except the girl who went to school for it. And she's basically used that to count pebbles in. Have you noticed that Liz sounds like the way she talks, she's basically like Kristen wig doing the assholes skit? Yes, basically. And then she has massive daddy issues. Yeah, she didn't really got to get over those. Like, just, you know, she's like, all my dad does is pay for my life. I was like, well, you know what, congratulations. That's a big deal. I enjoy that. And she's not so young anymore. And it's kind of like she's really upset that her dad's not buying them and all expenses paid vacation for the family anymore. It's called Guess What, my dad doesn't do that for me, bitch. Yeah. And she's like, my dad, my dad just doesn't want a relationship with me. Really, I can't imagine why you snorted half the town, embarrassed him, and now that you're off drugs, you're just drunk. And she probably fucking half his business partners. Whenever you're around him, you act like a total bit like ice cold bitch. I don't ever see her being like, hey, dad, how's everything with you? It's so good to see you. She's just like, oh, hey, why would he pick me up from the airport? Yeah. Well, you know, I feel like this is a perfect segue into my gossip. Do it courtesy of Maggie. Do it. Bring it. So here's the deal. So Maggie, who might be listening, Maggie. She's not that's a serious problem. Because we've been like saying that we love her from the beginning. Well, I think she's listening. So we actually got drinks, and I was in the city. I tweeted at her, I was like, let's get drinks. And so she came out with my friends and I. Very nice. No, get to every detail. What was she wearing? Why don't she was wearing like a sparkly top? She will probably tweet. Maggie tweeted us and tell us what you were actually wearing, because I don't know fashion. Okay. So sparkly top and sparkly top. Let me guess. Hi, pony. It wasn't in a pony. It was her hair was down. She's real thin. Okay, did she have the smell of Eli Klein on her? No, and by the way, also side note, Eli's brother. Yeah, about to say that's the future. That's your future. Yeah, that's it. That's the first time Eli ever looked sort of okay, because I put his brother brother and he's hot. And the brother came by, then it cut to Eli, I was like, Oh, look, he's looking pretty good for himself. Welcome to your future. Oh, okay. Did bring her her boyfriend? Her boyfriend was at some like, we know Jersey Party. So that she decided not to go to. She was like, I do not want to go. In fact, more importantly, I'm assuming you did not get drinks in Brooklyn because she's terrified of the glass on the street. Yeah, we did not. We met at the White Horse Tavern in the West Village, and she but she did say that she got a lot of flack about the Brooklyn thing. And she's like, it's like, and the thing is that like, where I got out apparently is like a nice part of Brooklyn, so people are really like giving it to me. Ronnie, Ronnie keeps giving it to her. That was my stop. That's what we'll stop by your sliver. That's like the Disneyland part of Brooklyn. That's like the gentrified. They've kicked out all the Hasidam and they've made it like all art galleries and fancy Thai places, you know? Well, she, so first of all, she says that Liz's tattoo is all like Hello Kitty. And maybe you can't see it like on the TV. Is that because they're into like this contemporary Asian art shit with Eli Klein? Or she just terribly cliched. Or she was just probably like 17 and like, yeah, she was flying high on Coke and she was like in Miami saying, you know, tap me up. Oh my god. I love Hello Kitty. Yeah. But Hello Kitty there. Hello Kitty. Yeah. Maggie says she was the only one. She was the only one out of everyone who was who had been working at a gallery. Oh, and also wait, are you telling me that everybody else had no fucking job? Isn't that shocking? And she said she hates Liz, by the way. She hates Liz. Just spies is Liz. Why? I think we're in this coming episode. Yeah, they have a fight and apparently it's she hates. I wanted to hate Carrie. I hate Carrie. I don't think she has a really an opinion on Terry. And she, uh, well, I mean, I think I actually want her to hate all of them because I only like her. She hates Liz. And she said she's like, I hope that there's a reunion so I can punch her in the face. Okay, Maggie love you. Liz will fucking eat you alive. Yeah, that's your Maggie. She's so petite. I don't know. I don't know. Liz is pretty insecure. Okay, she's in she's insecure. But my god, all the rage that she has in her from her daddy issues, she could murder, she could murder cities. Yeah, I feel like I think she's like a bully that the second you tell her something like she told Amy, she would start sobbing. And like, so you think if like Maggie says to her like nice Hello Kitty tattoos, Liz will just crumble. I think Liz, I like to see Liz, Brandy and Joanna Krupa get into a ring together. Oh, team Brandy Glanville. So anyway, um, uh, so she hates Liz, but she's actually friends with Amy and she says that Amy's a real sweetheart. And she's pathetic. No, but she, she, well, she, she really vouch, not bad. And she dresses like a 75 year old woman. And she probably smells like an old department store like, uh, you know, like dressing room and blooming dales from like the 1970s. Perhaps. And then, um, Maggie also wanted to emphasize that she and Eli never had a thing and that she has standards. Um, and Ronnie, are we believing that? No, do you? I'm gonna say I'm a show that they, Oh, no, Liz made Liz, I guess is the one who said made us think that. So why does she do all of these things for Eli that are so demeaning? Um, because the show producers told her to? Well, she said the pebbles thing. She actually had to do that. That wasn't that the producers did not put her up for that. That's when she counted those pebbles. That was a real. No, I think that was pretty natural that when you work with an asshole, that's what they make you do. I've worked for a couple of people. I was hired on a job to work as a writer and I wrote everything and it was non union and they flew me out to New Mexico. I mean to Mexico and I get there and they had me a fucking PA schedule and had me working 18 hours a day, lugging luggage with my 300 pound ass on the beach. And there was nothing like, Oh, I've been through it and I wasn't fucking anybody. I feel for you, Maggie. I feel for you, Maggie. So, um, we are learning so much about Ronnie tonight. Oh, yeah. Um, now here's, here's an interesting story that not even actually Maggie is totally aware of. So, um, when we were at, we were at the White Horse tab, her and this old. What did she order to drink? Do not tell me a fucking Leechy Martini? You guys were White Horse. Isn't that in LA? Uh, well, this one is, this was in New York. This has been around for decades. Did she order a Leechy Martini? Why don't you guys guess what she ordered? Oh, and she said by the way that Carrie did pay her, her bar tab and they made it looks like she didn't. Oh, they made her look like she pieced out without her. She said that Carrie did pay it. My guess is that Maggie drinks, a Bloody Mary. What do you think, Ronnie? What do you think she ordered? I would say like a bought to be cranberry. She ordered a beer. She was trying to punch it up for you. Um, was it, um, was it a, was it a, was it a Michelob Ultra? I actually don't remember what beer it was. Well, you know, I read that she's, uh, Wait, was it a beer? Actually, I don't think it was a beer. Where were you? We were drinking. And she told, she told me about her, her first date with her boyfriend. She, he gave her beer. Where did she meet him? Um, I mean, he looks like a Jersey shark cast off. I don't remember where she said she met him. Uh, but they had a very nice first date. She was like, Oh, can you believe he did this for? She got me a beer and did it, she was sort of like, satellite, she's complaining. And then we're like, but that sounds like a great date, Maggie. She's like, yeah, it was. Yep. He doesn't even like, like, she's getting all like cute before they go out. And she has to tell him, like, do I look cute? Like, he's not complimenting her enough. She said the reason why she was so annoyed that night was because, um, and I don't think this breaches anything to say it, but she, I guess they had, it wasn't even the night of her birthday. It was like a week later. And on top of that, they had just on like hours of interviews, and she was just in a foul mood. But, um, well, I'd like to stand up for the boyfriend. He's hot. He seems to really like her. And I think that sometimes when you're a smart person who has ambitions and goals, sometimes it's good to just have a big damn idiot to even come home and battle up with. Yeah. And he seems like a nice guy. And he, he like has a little, I forget exactly where he works, but it's a legitimate job. He has like a real job. He's not like mooching off her. Yeah. He has a, he has a real job. So anyway, um, we're at the White Horse Tavern. And we're sitting there and we spotted, there's a giant cockroach on the floor in this bar, which is very classy or whatever. And, uh, and so everyone was like screaming. I wasn't screaming, but some people were screaming. And it was crazy. And then the next day I had brunch with, uh, with my friends who was there, and he's like, you know, I didn't want to say it last night because I didn't want to freak her out. But I think I saw the cockroach fall on Maggie. And by the time, like, he wasn't sure. I thought you were going to say like it crawled out of her Louis Vuitton. He said he, he thought he saw something fallen on her, but he wasn't sure it was. And then when they saw the cockroach on the floor, that he realized that it, that it had fallen on her. Do they fall from the ceiling in New York? Apparently this one did. In fact, he actually said at the time he said, oh, I thought I saw it fall, but he didn't say he saw it fall on her. But the next morning he did admit he's like, uh, it fell on Maggie. So Maggie, if a cockroach fell on you, a cockroach ever fell on me anywhere, bar my hat, wherever. I would run out into the street in front of a bus immediately. I, it's, it's a vial. I was a huge cockroach. Um, we, I then took her to, uh, we went to a place called Barracuda, Ronnie. Are you familiar with Barracuda? Oh, no, no, no. I don't remember. So the time I lived there. Are you okay? Did she pay for her own drink? Or did you treat her on our stab? I, I, I got her a drink at Barracuda. Very nice. She ordered another beer, or you can't remember because you were so fucked up. No, it was, it was like a vodka tonic or something like that. And, um, and she pretty much got out of there pretty quickly because it was, it was too gay for her. Did you embarrass yourself at all in front of her? I don't think so. I think she can, she can say if I embarrassed her. I know I walked too fast for her. She was trying to keep up with me and kept in getting mad at me for walking too fast. This is now, this is not gossip. This is now just mundane details of the night. Um, so that's, that's the Maggie story, everyone. Yeah, Maggie. Yeah, Maggie. So Maggie props to you because I know it's got to be annoying listening to people make fun of you and they're going to have a drink with them. So right on. Good for you, girl. Yeah, she was no hair pulling, self hair pulling during this meeting and you did not pull your hair up and that you still had hair. She was no bald patches. There was no bald patches. No, but I mean, I think I have, whatever bald patches I have are not from Maggie. I can tell you that. No, I was asking you if she had any because she's a hair puller. No, but she was playing with her hair. And, um, did she think it was sexy and cute? I don't think she even knows. It's like the way, it's like the way right now how I'm like playing like ear. You're like fondling your ear. I'm fondling my ear. I'm doing, that's my Maggie isn't. Oh, I fondled my ear sometimes. Well, um, I'm taking hairs. Mad respect because I know the next week you tell that bitch Liz to go suck it. So good for that. And another thing I heard about Maggie is that she is from the DuPont family and that her father is a DuPont. And that's why she says her father is fancy, but her mom's not because her father is like a zillionaire. So good for her for actually working because if I was a DuPont, I just wake up and like go around all my different blenders and refrigerators and like ovens and touch them and be like, I need a new DuPont oven. Somebody call my daddy. I didn't work. You, I think, sound like that evil girl in Willy Wonka on the Chocolate Factory. Violet or something? No, the other one. Veruca Salt? No, the other one. Who's the one that's with the curly blonde hair? Oh, I don't know. Veruca Salt. And what happened? Veruca. Veruca Salt, I think. I think that's it that I have, you guys. It involves me. And this was sent to me by, oh my god, damn it, Ronnie, who sent this to me, someone on Twitter. So thank you for whoever did that. I'm a horrible person. Anyway, it's really good. It's a letter from Fordham University. And a woman whose dreams of a career in the art business were cut short when she flunked out of school is suing for a refund of $43,940 in tuition and other damages. Amy Poliakoff said the Sotheby Institute of Art denied her a fair hearing when it threw her out according to a complaint filed Friday in New York Supreme Court. She also wants to school to expunge her academic record. Snapple, Amy. Hey, you know what I gotta say? Fordham is now two for two on getting these reality stars out of their institution. They are. Albie Manzos, they got our, they got Albie out and they've got Amy out. They're like, we do not want you guys from here. Bravo is like, get the fuck like, or they're like, keep Bravo out of this off the camp. Maybe they maybe they knew each other in college. Or maybe actually have to like show up to school when you go to school. Maybe Fordham like actually makes you come to school because, you know what? He didn't come. And she's not gonna sew up for a big important intern, so she ain't gonna go to class. She's probably like, I'm really upset that Fordham didn't take the chance to get to know me because they had done that. They would have realized I would be a great asset to their art program. I loved it at the end after she got fired. She was like, the thing that hurts the most is that she didn't love my glowing personality. You're amazing personality. What the fuck are you talking about? For Amy. For Amy. Like I said, for Amy. Do you think anybody noticed that she had five remote controls on the side of her on her nightstand? It was really bothering me. I feel like she's one of those like, I'm a classy, 65 year old lady slash, I'm a secret dirty hoarder. I will say I have a litany of remote controls around this apartment. Five on a nightstand? Maybe they were three of them were vibrators. Well, one is for the Blu-ray. I'm imagining Amy set up once for Blu-ray, once for her her postopaedic bed that that raises up and goes down. And one is for her TV, one is for her radio. And one is her lady parts. Yes, her remote controlled vibrator. Okay. That's shaped like a Van Gogh. Oh, right me. So she gets fired from her job and she decides that she's not going to just be depressed and stay in her house and watch Netflix and gain 60 pounds. I'm going to me, Johnny. And she is going to make herself known as someone you can produce and get things done. So she offers the end of century girls a chance to have their show in Miami and she's going to hook up a space for them and she's going to get all their art there and she's going to produce it. You guys are there. You mean like I'm going to hang like three turquoise necklaces and four pairs of shit earrings on a thumbtack board? Well, I'm not going to put a thumbtack board up because you have to buy one and I don't know where to get a thumbtack board in Miami or light bulbs. So I cannot do this. I'm not going to do the papa show. So I'm not going to be hanging any of that. I am just going to go to the beach and pretend I'm at a swamp. Oh, I hate her. She's abysmal. That's like a funeral for Miss America who happened to like win the swimsuit division. What was she wearing? Oh my god. Did you see like she's so skinny that she has like those weird like she has like pony pelvis. You know what I mean more like the very popular in Japan are there like the width of her leg from her crotch to her ankle is the same width. And then instead of like going up normally like up into a crotch taint area. She has like that weird gap. She I just, did I say taint and it may upset you? No, no, what I just what upset me was that for a moment there I was starting to like Chantal a little bit sort of seem like she had a sense of humor. But now I just see that she's a raging bitch. I think Chantal is one of my favorite ones. Ronnie, shut up. You're just trying to get us to hate you. You know, I go every week. Every week there's one that I love and one that I hate. I really do like all of the girls on the show. I even like stupid Angela. I like all the girls. You know, the angel has grown on me. Like is Carrie because I feel like Carrie tries to make the whole show about her. She doesn't understand she's on the show with other people. She's kind of on this island where she's trying to get her own school. Long Island being boring or something. And then you they show her like sitting around like having lunch with her family and all she does is like huff and puff and like everyone's like how's your glamorous life in New York? And she's like my life is terrible. It's so much. You got them so busy all the time you guys because I have to work one job and then I have to work another job just to keep up. And it's like so hard. It's like you know what? Do you know what your parents did? They woke up with pains in their stomach. You know, your mom had to work at the restaurant. Your dad fucking shoveled the snow out of the driveway. You really want to hear that their fucking rich daughter is having a hard day. You're living in a beautiful apartment and you're probably making money from you're using your vagina. So stop waiting. This is Johnny's dream. He's turning into a Billy Joel song. It is nine o'clock or actually it's 2 a.m. on a Friday morning. It's late and you apparently caught me in a really depressive episode. Well, I gosh, I love this show so much. What did you think when they went on their field trip? I will say that all of the animal skulls that were glued together with bee dazzlement was kind of terrifying and I was eating dinner when I was watching it and it was not good. Yeah, that was that was pretty crazy. As was the weird stuff down in Miami at that one that that one gallery that seemed to be run by Elsa the second coming out. Elsa was there. I'll be honest with you. This show's been on for like six episodes. There's not one piece of art I've wanted. Wait, no, I actually know I saw some cool art. Actually, you know what I saw? You know what piece of art I like the most? At Amy's house, there was a quick shot of like their family room or something and there was this cool piece of art that was like a big piece that was over like their TV or something. Oh, it's like Miami. It was like parallelograms or something like that and that I thought was cool and actually I thought a lot of the stuff at Liz's at the Margolis warehouse was very cool. Really? I think this is cool as Liz. You guys, this neighborhood was nothing and then my dad like he would just buy a $10,000 painting and then sell it and he just kept doing that. That was before art was cool and before people were buying art. My dad was buying it and he took this neighborhood. There was nothing here and now look and they're like, oh my god, it's such a great neighborhood. Yeah, because of this place, because of what my dad did. And then cut and then cut to a confessional of her talking shit about her father. Yeah. And then she's like, I can't believe those and a century girls came when they weren't invited. I'm like, it was a public event that was open to the public. I kind of do love, however, that she invited Angela to a breakfast in front of Claudia and Chantal without inviting the other two because the other two are horrible. Well, and the other thing that's funny is you can see how Angela's eyes light up by Queen Liz. The cool table I need to come sit and have lunch with me. I can get away from the goth losers. Yeah, like as much as Angela wants to be like, I hate all that. You know, she was like, she's and like the popular girl is calling upon her and it is exciting to her. Yeah, her creepy nipples, which typically make an appearance in every episode were very hard. Yeah. Anything goes that Miami are basal. By the way, I think that I kind of know what's going on in the universe. I have never heard of art Basel in my life. It apparently is a big deal. Really? Yeah, someone was someone was telling me about it. Should we podcast from there next year? Yes. Yes, we have to make some art. Well, unfortunately, gallery girls, the ratings are only about 650,000 viewers per week, which is even less than the Real Housewives of me, Jami. Well, that's because Bravo doesn't promote it. They're slapping it after the Real Housewives of New York, which is now it's losing like 75% of its lead in. That's like a problem. Well, the problem, well, they could be doing something. They had Liz on this week, which was good, but they need to get the buzz up because you know what? Like, I feel like everyone here in LA, everyone I speak to, they watch and they're obsessed with it. When I went to New York, no one watched it. And in fact, poor Maggie. What are those people in New York that think that they're fancier than us LA people and they say they don't even watch TV? No, no, no. These are not people like that. And poor Maggie, she's so sweet. But like, if she's like my mom doesn't even want you. No, no, no. If you meet her, like the third thing, like out of her mouth is like, do you watch Gala girls? I'm on it. And it's like, you could, you know what though? No shame. No shame. Hey, she's trying to get the word out. She's working at more than Andy Cohen. She has to. And you know what? And I want her to get the word out. And it's a good show and people should watch it and listen to this. Yeah, I'm watching it too. But I think Bravo is just a little confused. I mean, they've really cultivated an older audience, you know? It's the only channel where you can really turn something on and see older, older people being mean to each other. And so I think it's just a little weird seeing 20, like 20 year olds don't watch Bravo. If you ask someone young, you know, if you tell someone young you're watching Bravo, they're going to be like, okay, you old fucking gay person. What? Why are you calling us old fucking gay people? Yeah. Yeah. And then I said, well, maybe I just am old and gay and crusty. But you know what though? I like my gallery girls that keep me young. I love me some gallery girls. Anyway, do we have any other thoughts on gallery girls or have we made it to the end of our year? No, you guys have been on a long podcast. I don't think we could ever do radio where you have to just go for like five hours. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Oh yeah. Do we have to do Audible? We've talked about them so much Audible. You know what Audible, what have you done for me? Don't know what you've done. Don't even bother the ad supposed to be the top of the show. So where's comes to worst? We'll we'll slap another one just in post production at the top of this. Don't worry, everyone. You're sparing it now, but you should go to Audible. Just listen to your books, you guys, listen to your books. So those get a free one. If you go to audible.com/bravo, that will be your free book. And by the way, just for people who want to know behind the scenes goss on this podcast, we start recording this at 11 30. It's now 1 30 in the morning. I've done two hours worth it. We're spending I have to go to the office. I have to like start to finish writing a big brother recap, not okay. And what they do when did not win. And I'm sad. I'm having a horrible time now horrible. Well, everyone, I hope you enjoyed this this double double header. Yeah, well, it is baseball season. So that makes sense, right? Yeah, we're all butch. Yeah. Well, we are, but now we're in football season. So this is almost like a it's almost they have double headers there on. Yes, they do every every Sunday. There's even a triple header. Yeah. Yeah, you had a great time tonight. Ronnie Karam. I had a lovely time tonight, you guys. It's always fun talking to you. I had a worried about Ronnie. You are. I'm okay, guys. I'm okay. Well, he does have a gas leak in his apartment. I think it's making him loopy. Oh, okay. I might. I might turn it off. Just to save money on weed. It sounds, it sounds kind of similar. You just just like Ashley doesn't know how to turn off the gas oven. Oh, yeah, why do we talk about that? Oh my God, she's going to blow. She's going to blow up my building because she's in the store. So it turns out like the oven, sometimes like it doesn't, the stove doesn't like all the way turn off unless you turn it all the way off. Unless you turn it all the way off. And I left it on for three days. Oh, I love how Jack was like, well, I want to say something, but I want to let her make her own mistakes, meaning she'll like explode herself. And you and me. Well, it'll be more more me than you. I have to worry about MJ's issues, which are probably a lot more. I have to worry about her throwing saffron and pomegranates. Anyway, thank you all for tuning in. Thank you. Appreciate it. Our show. We are Watch What Craftends. Please download us on iTunes. Please leave us a comment. Find us on Facebook, facebook.com or slash Watch What Craftends. We are on Twitter at What Craftends. And the three of us can also be found on Twitter as well. Ben is at the side blog. Hi, and that life on the M West and Marnia is at TV Guzm. Thank you. We'll be back next week. I don't know if it's going to be double header next week at just maybe because we have so much to talk about. We'll see. We'll see. TV a lot. There's a lot of times. Guys, like this one there, we just overstayed our welcome guys. Very possible. Very possible. Well, bye. Thanks everybody. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there. And I still have a hard time with the last name Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin. That's me. Takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforitcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke to Dean posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. Thumbs up Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing. Hashtag savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crapons you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who will fight like hell to keep you out of jail? We defend and we fight just like you want your own children to defend it. Whether you're facing a drug charge caught up on a murder app, accused of committing war crimes look no further than Paul Bergren. All the big guys go to Bergren because he gets everybody off. You name it, Paul can do it. Need to launder some money, broker a deal with a drug cartel, take out a witness, from Wondery. The makers of Dr. Death and over my dead body comes a new series about a lawyer who broke all the rules. Doesn't it funny how witnesses disappear or how evidence doesn't show up or somebody doesn't testify correctly? In order to win at all costs. If Paul asked you to do something, it wasn't a request. It was an order. I'm your host Brandon James Jenkins. 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