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We've got it all in one place. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus, enjoy zero-dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Offer valid for a limited time, minimum $10 per order, service fees, other fees, and additional term supply. Instacart, bringing the store to your door this Halloween. Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Please visit audiblepodcast.com/bravo for your free audio book download. Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crap Bends, a podcast dedicated to all that Crap, you and we love Enbravo. My name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo TV, and joining me as always are my two trusty cohorts, Ben Mandelker from Bside Blog, and Ronny Karam from TV Gasm. Say hello, my lovers. Hello, hello, hello. Well, on tonight's show, we are going to obviously start things off with a hell of a lot of gossip because, you know, that's always fun, and there's always a lot of trash out there, and then we will move into the Real Housewives of New York City. We're going to stop by Los Angeles, million-dollar listing Los Angeles that is, and then we might even have to stumble into Top Chef Masters, because Ben is the only person in the universe still watching that horrible show. I will defend it dearly. You will defend it, but before we get into that, we must give props to our friends over at the sideshow network that helped put this whole production on, and we should also give some shout outs to all of our loyal fans and listeners out there. You guys have been amazing to us. Your comments on iTunes have been out of control, and as a result, I'm now allowed to eat cookies and not kill myself, so thank you. He'll be much nicer today. I don't know about that. I will not guarantee being nice, but, and again, we should also tout our lovely Facebook page, which so many of you have liked, so definitely check us out on Facebook/WhatCrapins. Watch What Crapins. You can find us on Twitter at WhatCrapins. You can find me, Matt Whitfield, on Twitter at Life on the Emlist or at Yahoo TV. Ben, you can find @bsideblog and Ron, you can find @TVgasm. And now I need to take a moment to do some facial yoga. Why don't you, why don't you take a moment to relax? And by the way, you do your facial yoga. And by the way, we have to give a shout out to Audible, which they're super cool because they have all these books and stuff that you can download and stuff. So if you want to read Carol's book, whatever it's called, class with accountants, class with accountants, a lot of books from Bravo, and you can go to, and here's why I'm telling you this, because if you go to, if you go to audiblepodcast.com/bravo, let me double check that I got that. Is that correct? I wouldn't want to give you guys the wrong URL. But it's audiblepodcast.com/bravo. You can get a free book or free download. Only one who read Andy Cohen's book. You read it? Am I a terrible person? I mean, I'm a terrible person for various reasons, but am I a terrible person for reading his book? You're not a terrible person, but I follow a bunch of those Bravo idiots. So they're always like, oh, Andy, I read your book. Oh my God, I'm reading it for like the fifth time, Andy. It's so good. Well, I'm not going to stick my like tongue up his butt, like all of those like fake Peggy Tano. He's no, he's no Jill's Aaron. Let's. We love you, Jill's Aaron and Andy Cohen. But by the way, you can, if you haven't read Andy Cohen's book, like, and I haven't, you can go to audible and down, if you go to audible podcast.com/bravo, you can get a free audio book download. And if you get download either Carol's or Andy's, let's see if we can make a contest. Yeah, it's going to download. I think I'm going to download Carol's. I want, wait, I want someone to download one of these books. Use your free, like, audio download, audio book download. And I want, we want a book report. This is a summer book report. We want, maybe, and you can, maybe we can even pipe this person in with like their book corner. This will be like Oprah's book club, except with us. Does Carol even have a book yet? Is it out here? No, you guys are all about Carol, like she has a real book. She does. She has a, she has her original one about it. Well, nobody wants to read about the dead husband. We want to read about the widows that are fucking, well, we don't have to read, we listen to it. Yeah, it's in the car. And if it's in her voice, I'll listen to that all day, every day. Oh my God, can you imagine ours? This has been, this has been, had such a big, and now he's dead. Listen to that to the grocery store. Every day. Would that be filed in the biography section or the horror section? Where, where, where, where, where, where inaudible, would you find Colorado? Or biography? I don't think it'd be, you know, they have thousands of signs of technology books, but I don't think that would be in any of them. Look at me getting, let me be covering all the bullet points. Okay, can we just move on? All right. And we need to talk about some gossip and I would like to start off with Miss Alex McCord. Yes. Formerly of the Real Housewives of New York City slash Brooklyn slash the Hubble that she lives in. Don't tell Bethany about it because she, if I remember correctly, Bethany was in utter shock about that townhouse. I'm in utter shock that any of you people are watching Bethany's talk show talk about a fucking trap. I'm not watching it. Are you just saying all those, all those people, I mean, in general, like the listeners. I'm not talking about the two of you because I know that you're busy, you know, you know, watching Bravo all night long, but there are plenty of people out there that are watching her show during the afternoons, and I cannot fathom why anybody bothers. You mean the people that don't have a podcast about talking about Bravo's talk? Do you just regulate me slash yourself? You need to be regulated, Matt. You need to be regulated. We're talking about books on tape and fucking, come on, interest me. Yeah. The poor, the poor listeners, they too, and we haven't even started talking about Bravo yet. I know. We've been wasting their time because we're not talking about my spider butler. Oh, yeah. Even your spider butler and your waffle boyfriend. Is it about Alex McCord because I have his missing his bug eyes. Just talk about telling me what's wrong with her. What happened? Do you want me to? Shall I do this? Since Matt suddenly is just falling apart on the hosting. Matt is doing face. I'm doing facial. Matt is furious and he is stomping around his apartment like an angry Ramona singer. Okay, so I guess Alex has been giving some behind the scenes dirt about how Real Housewives is produced and we actually got a good amount of dirt from Jill. And if you haven't listened to that, go listen to that episode. Even if you don't like Jill's hour and she gives like a lot of interesting insight. Episode 25, available for download on iTunes or streaming on TV, Gasm or beside blog. Yeah. So she's just, she says it's like, Alex gives like a lot of interesting little things like she said the way to really annoy reality TV cast members is to make them wait. And so what the producers would do a lot is that they would pay, they pay for the car service, pick up these women and then they would delay the car service. So these, they're like waiting around and then everyone's getting annoyed. Like, and it's, the funny thing is, this is an obvious trick and you'd think after like three or four seasons they'd be used to it. But I guess they just keep on getting annoyed every single time it happens. Here's the thought. Do you think that they might have just done that to Alex? Cause she lives in fucking Brooklyn. That's true. I don't know that car services could even go out there. I know that you pretend that you're a BFF with her because she's tweeted you like 14. No, she dropped me. Alex, drop me. Then fuck her. Let's talk some shit. Nobody wants to drive to Brooklyn. No, no. So why is she telling this guy? Who is she telling all this stuff to? She's telling it to her three Twitter followers and because she and Simon are on this new horrible VH1 show that nobody's going to watch. She is. So Alex does these reports for something called rumor fix. And she apparently she does these like these very low rent videos that Simon records. Like one of the videos there was like an airplane flying around in the background or something like that. I don't know. Let's see what it's like a vlog and Alex blog and Alex's vlog. Yeah, I think so modeling in the background and some slinky lingerie. Probably. She is sexy. Oh, you know why? I don't miss that. I miss Jill and I miss crazy Kelly killer in Ben Simone. I do not miss Alex and Simon. I'm going to just say it. Alex also says that production buys obviously everything. So anytime you see anyone on the show buying anything production is paying for it, which is why. Which is why you need to get on a fucking show so I can go shopping. You buy the tackiest stuff, Matt. Are you kidding me? We know you'd be buying leopard skin. Everything. You would you would you would have like a little hat with a flower on it and you'd be wearing leopard skin and you'd have a you'd have like a minx stole and you'd probably get mixing it like with a like a zebra skin beach bag to carry around all your knitting and stuff. And you'd probably get you'd probably get a perm you'd probably get a perm. The only thing that I would buy are used condoms. Little mini leather biker gloves from Carol. Well, I'm selling my biker gloves, not because I need the money, but because I want them to see I want to see them in a happy home. Every glove deserves a happy home. And next year will not have a you know charity coat event. Carol will have a charity half biker leather glove event. And I'll be sponsored by hamburger helper and the hamburger helper glove will be wearing like her leather gloves. Could you imagine if Carol had her own brand of hamburger helper? Carol Radswell's bamburger helper. I'll help you make hamburgers. It all tastes like dead husband. You know who's going to help her make hamburgers? That Beyonce. That creepy gay neighbor of hers that secretly wants to be a reality star. What's his name like Brace? Hey, my name is Tripp and I wear interesting glasses and I hang out with an old corpse lady. It kind of sounds like you Matt. You got interesting glasses and I feel like there's got to be some corpse lady in your life. Well, unless it's just a corpse. I have a better chance of having an old corpse lady in my life than a hot man. An age appropriate hot man. Are you torturing Matt? I don't know. I have nothing. I'm like not like angry at all that. I'm going to be honest. You were joining in. You were joining in. You know I'm that because you're an easy target is is a callback but five times is is a done pile. Okay. Hey AV club if you're listening this week and you want to review us again feel free to mention how I get trampled. Oh please. Oh please. They're not listening. It's been a horrible week to get reviewed. We probably lost them in our round table discussion of audible. Okay. Who else has any more gossip because I need to talk about New York because I before we move on to those crazy bitches in New York. I want to talk real quick about what's going on with Real Housewives of Everly Hills. There's some kind of weirdness going on where it was reported last week that Adrian Maloof didn't show up to the reunion and we were talking about on this show. Well, why would they take the reunion already? That shouldn't have happened until right around now. Yeah. And it didn't seem to make much sense. And then there were stories out this morning that she she had a surprise appearance at the reunion and caused all kinds of shit. And then there was a story on Perez about the reunion that's been taken down. So I don't even know what that says. What the hell's going on you guys? Why is there such a big controversy about the reunion? And what could Melty faced Adrian have possibly done? Well, I think Melty faces life is melting down right now. Obviously, last week we talked about her pending divorce from Paul, which I believe that he brought on surprise surprise. And I do think we did mention this last week as well that they are probably going back-to-back seasons into productions. So just like Jersey last year where it's all unfolding like 10-12 months after the fact, the lines are getting very blurry for me. And my other thing is if you don't show up to the reunion, you should be fired. Yeah, I agree. Like, I feel like Jacqueline said a bad precedent. And so did Kim Richards. She should have left rehab. She was in a cage. Nothing is more important than the reunion. I don't care. Kim Richards walked out of rehab like 10 times. She just walked out of there. She wasn't in the cage. And when she did come out of rehab, she was still wasted. So I don't know why she couldn't show up for the reunion. Okay, but let's both be on it. Are all three of us be honest right here. That show needs some fucking Kim Richards. We can't lose her. We cannot. We cannot. By the way, I would love if Kim Richards appeared at every reunion actually in a cage. Like they just had her in a cage in the corner. Like Debbie Matt, like Debbie Matt. It's like, hey, it's like, there's a wall in front. Hey, the reception on this reunion is bad. I just keep seeing bars on my TV. What's that about? Hey, these horizontal stripes are making everybody look fat. These are vertical. Who's trying to trick me with this cage? Hey, this carpet looks like newspapers. I'm gonna pee on it like a like a gerbil. Hey, I'm a gerbil now. Okay, I'm gonna make little poopsies that are like little marbles. Okay. Hey, hey, where's my flashlight? I just imagine that she's looking for a flashlight. I don't know why. She also made her into Carol, but that's fine. By the way, that's the progression of my it's like, you know, when I try to do an Australian accent, I become British. So when I try to do now Kim accent, I now become Carol. So yeah, Beverly Hills is going to be a really good season. Everything that we've been reading so far about that season sounds insane. And I love that the Lisa and the Adrienne hate is amplified. And also remember that in the last reunion for that show, which, you know, at the very end of the season, obviously, they were writing a comment to Adrienne like, oh, well, your marriage has failed. I mean, she didn't say that. She made that kind of comment. Like, you would know what a failure of America is like or a Sam of a marriage or something weird. And Adrienne just gave her those evil, you know, her face doesn't move. But right in intensity still, it's so fucking weird. And she gave her that really evil look. So if Jesus loves me, let's play a little game right now. If Jesus loves me, I'll start. Adrienne will walk into a penthouse in the palms and find Paul fucking Brandy Glanville in the shower. That's a really specific fantasy. Well, don't you think that she I mean, Brandy is Brandy is off her rocker in the best possible way in the best possible way. And part of me thinks like as Lisa's little minion, if Lisa told her to go seduce Paul, she'd do it. Oh, yeah, she needs a starring role on her. Lisa spin off. If Jesus loves me, Jesus would make sure that Adrienne wears yet another like magician's robe to the reunion this year. Last year, she only had like a magician's sleeve. This time, I want like a full, I want her to look like a warlock. Okay. Because we know that's what she is. She needs like a little hat to Adrian and the confessionals. Those ensembles are the most amazing things I've ever seen. She really knows how to bridge the two worlds of wizardry and hair tensile. And I'm going to bank on the fact that Kyle will likely be wearing outfits from her new boutique, which the three of us need to take a field trip to. Oh, yeah. What tell me about this? Where is it? Kyle has a new boutique. It's located in I don't know that she could afford the 902 and Oh, so it might be on Ventura or somewhere in the Valley next to Lisa Renee's store. Lisa Renee's Bel Grey is no more. It got broken into too many times. And now Tory spelling who's across the street on Venterable of art is no longer neighbors with Lisa Renee's boutique. Wait, I feel like Ronnie was trying to say something, but he was broken up by something. Ronnie, were you trying to say something? You know what? I was just saying the vowel, but then I thought no, she wouldn't be in the vowel that or I'm actually looking it up. So you guys keep talking. Maybe she was in Terangelis. Did I tell you that? Maybe she's going to sell diamond water at the counter. I hope so. Well, you know, her her ex is a Terangelis type, if you know what I'm saying. The hills you guys. By the way, speaking of boutiques, etc, I do have like a little bit of an update about our own favorite Shire Whitfield. Shire. You mean my mother from another brother or my something my ache mother? The mother I wish I always had? Yeah, because Kay Ray from Kay Ray from our Watch What Happens with Twitter wanted us to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. Kayleigh Marlina, we got your we got your tweet and Kayleigh sent in a link to this article about Shire. Shire has I like to call her talking about life after the Real Housewives. And there's really nothing too interesting. But she she did announce she by Shire is back, ladies and gentlemen, the wait is over. I know you've all been waiting. It has now been reborn as a online boutique, as an online boutique called she by Shire dot kitsilane.com. And wait, wait, wait, wait, so does she really just have like a fucking Etsy account that she and she's probably living in Kim's garage. It's kits Elaine not Etsy Lane. It's sort of like the mixture of kits in an Etsy, I imagine. You guys, I'm on the bullshit website right now. And you can't even come into the website unless you give your email. Like you have to register. What's oh, I'm sorry, she by Shire, you're not guilt or fab or one King's Lane. Is she fucking crazy? Well, I guess you have to do this for this kits Elaine thing. You have to become a this is. Well, she's only selling. Well, so anyway, she's only selling jewelry and accessories now. So the Lord, what are they gonna be some big ass ugly feather earrings? She loves a feather earring. She's she's got apparently off. There's a there's a screen grab that's on this site from to fab.com. And it looks it looks sort of like a glorified dog leash that or collar that's that's looks like that failed Etsy website. What's that called? Regretsy. It's like really terrible. I'm looking behind the I'm peeking behind your fucking sign and form Shire. Hey, hey, hey, we have an email address where people can email us at and it's watch what crappins@gmail.com. Log our asses up. You know what you do when you put she and Etsy together, you get shitsy. That's what you get. Okay, online. We've been recording for like 97 minutes already. I'm going to start talking about the Real Housewives of New York City. Yeah, let's do it. Talk about so if you have any other gossip, just keep it to your damn cell. Wait, can I just make a proclamation first about this episode of Real Housewives of New York City? It was like the most uncomfortable hour I think I've spent in about 10 years. It's been been texted me or text or emailed us both last time saying it was stressing him out and I had just pressed stop because I couldn't take it. Every I was fucking stressed out watching the show. I had to wait. Ronnie, do not make it through the entire episode. I did today during the day. It's easier. Yeah, it's scary at night before that it's it's tough before bed. I'll give you that. It was every single scene was a stressful confrontation or an uncomfortable confrontation with the exception of Carol talking to her assistant. Look, it was so good that I sat down and I wrote a full page of notes. So I'm just going to start and we're going to go chronologically and we're going to knock this out. Wait, I want to make another microphone. You're not allowed to make any more proclamation. Excuse me, Mr. I am going to make a proclamation. This is a macro observation about the episode. Did you notice how it seemed oddly edited together? Like scenes just sort of started without any explanation. Like the show just started and there was a business meeting and no one was like, so I went over to Ramona's. It just began. And then there was a dinner at Lesurk and Ramona was like, oh, well, it was for is a special occasion. So I got everyone together. But no one explained why. No one explained why happened. Let me go in order, Ben, the chronological order. I guess this is what happened. At the beginning of the season, the ratings tanked and everything was fucked up and nobody was talking about the show and it was bombing and Jill was trashing it. And I honestly think this is the episode where they went in and they re-edited the show. I are just making it crazy town. I agree 100%. That was totally my impression of it that they cut out all the filler and they're like, let's put like a huge amount of crazy in one episode. So that way it feels like it's wall to wall crazy and everything. Yeah, this was like a season premiere. This was crazy shit going down at every single commercial right before and right after every single commercial break. And I think that the ratings will be up as a result in the coming weeks. I feel like it was edited because it wasn't even fun crazy. It's like, I just don't get New York. I don't think they want to live there. You guys are posting it. What do we? Why am I pussy? I liked it. I thought it was fun crazy. You guys were all emailing last night like, oh, I'm so uncomfortable. I have to turn it off. This comes with a guy who this goes with a guy who quote unquote clutches his pearls whenever you mention anything pertaining to like vomit. Well, I look, I thought it was uncomfortable because it's just neurotic horrible people with terrible personalities and no hope for going to heaven. Okay, all dogs go to heaven though. Exactly like the three of us and that gives us a show. We're more fun. I thought it was, I thought it was very uncomfortable the whole hour, but it was hilariously uncomfortable. It was like, well, these things were like, I cannot believe these grown ass women are saying these things. And in some cases, saying these things with little reindeer antlers on their head. Oh God, that was so creepy. And then they're all dancing around like they're, you know, trying to be all nice and friendly to each other. But Ramona and Luan, they're dancing around and trying to be nice while being wild. Oh, well, you know, what did you mean by that? Oh, well, I didn't mean anything by that. What did you mean by that? I didn't mean anything by that. Well, I know you met something by that. But I don't even know what you're talking about, but I know that you met something. So if you met something, then if you did, if you say you didn't, then you didn't, but you did. But you did. It's like, oh, it just made me want to fucking throw up. Shut Ramona up. Oh, all right. What a fucking sock in her mouth. All right, Matt, since you're hyperventilating by the fact that we're not going down the list in your order. Do I sound like I'm hyperventilating? I'm drinking wine. I'm sitting in my office and I'm drinking wine. And I know we know you're rolling your eyes. But I care and it's hurtful. It's hurtful how you care. And everyone else is telling me it's hurtful. Like I didn't even care. I just, I'm going to get on. You're trying to be above it. You're trying to be above it. But, but Ron, you had to know that it was all good fun. We were just trying to promote the podcast. We weren't, we weren't trying to make fun of you. We were just, you know, we're putting you in a good light. That's all. Well, let's be honest. That's not putting me in a good light. You know, you're making me look stupid with my, with my wine. And, you know, I love Mario. He's like, well, you know, you tried to make my wife look stupid. And what if she had said she didn't like it? She did say that. She did say she didn't like it. And guess what? You don't need any help in making her look like a dumb fuck. She does it herself every five seconds. How does, how does Ramona not understand the taste of Ramona wine? Not because it's her own wine, but because Ramona Pinot Grigio tastes like fucking toothpaste wine. So distinctively like toothpaste, only a fucking moron could not recognize that taste. Somewhere in Beverly Hills, Kim Richards, ears are freaking out. Flat toothpaste water? She's rattling her cage. She's got a mug going up against, up against the bars. I had her my new mixer. I don't need a knowledge. Right teeth? Well, I love, I love that in this, in this fight over this wine about like how, like no one wanted to cave in. You know, Mario is saying, look, you were trying to bust us. And it was obvious to everyone that that's what Luan and Jacques were trying to do. And neither one of them were, were willing to admit it. You know, how could they not? It was so obvious. No, Jacques would probably think it's hilarious. And Luan's just like, oh, do it. Of course it's mean. Of course they were being mean. But Ramona and Luan hate each other. And it is, you know, she did give Ramona the option to say, oh, this one's lovely. But of course Ramona can't just be a nice person. She has to taste something and say, oh, that's horrible. Right. Okay. So that's a very good point because, you know, they're saying that Luan is a terrible person. But, you know, yes, Ramona ended up dissing her own wine. But Ramona is also a horrible, horrible bitch. And she could never say something nice about something. And, you know, she thought it was somebody else's wine. She thought that Jacques picked it and she wanted to make Jacques look stupid. So she's like, of course this tastes like shit. Yeah, she's also to blame here. I'm sorry. I agree. I agree. I mean, she, she likes to piss on things. That's definitely for sure. So if anything, she was called out on what a horrible personality she has that she has to hate everything so much that she hates her own product. And you know what? I'd like to point out you guys that we've just done some really good psychiatry. We really have. And by the way, and, and, you know, apparently when this wine tasting fiasco happened, that was like in the fall. And then all of a sudden we're in the holidays. And Mario brings us up to Jacques at this dinner table. Like, why didn't he, why didn't Mario just, you know, call Jacques on the phone and be like, hey, you know what? I really didn't appreciate what you did last night, you know? Because Jacques is, Jacques doesn't have a phone. Luan, look at the wheel of cheese. Here's a wheel of cheese. And Luan doesn't get reception in the Hamptons, which she partially mothers from, but mostly she's in the city. You know why she doesn't get reception? It's because a drunk girl passed out on her cell tower and broke it. I was gonna say she doesn't get cell reception because she prefers to use smoke signals. Oh, like that. Oh my goodness. I brought to Balke face to face because he's just such a prankster. You never know what if he's rolling his eyes on the phone. You don't know what he's doing. He's bulky. He's crazy. He's doing the dance of joy right now. Could you imagine if me post was a real place? And that's where Jacques came from. And Luan all this time thought he was French, but then had to find out he was from a weird Eastern European country. Should be devastated. And then his best friend was Mark Lynn Baker. And I don't mean the character. I mean, really Mark Lynn Baker. Oh, that would be a huge selling point. That shit just got really niche. So for all of you who don't get that, that's the star of Perfect Strangers. Yeah, it's Larry from my redub channel of the housewives videos. I looked at my analytics and everyone's like 50. I think we're all just like, it's just basically you look at the analytics and it says old and tired. Oh my god. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. The beginning of the episode started with, you know, again, no intro. Let's just dive right into the crazy. So it started with a toaster oven meeting and Sonya who was trying to launch this project. Sex sells you guys. What an original campaign. Really, you're going to have a half naked guy holding a toaster oven. That thank you so much for taking your time. By the way, I don't object to such campaigns. I think there should be more of them. But that being said, it really is a bizarre angle to take a sexy guy holding a toaster oven. I mean, it just honestly, anytime this toaster oven surfaces, I am like simultaneously confused and like happier than I've ever been and I'm a little turned on. But I'm like, I am so happy that this is somehow a through line for the season is this weird toaster oven. I mean, every week I say this, but I find it to be the most peculiar thing that this quote unquote socialite is in here trying to hawk a toaster oven. It's like a three tiered microwave thing. It's huge. It's an easy bake. I was gonna silver. It's gonna be an easy bake oven. She's gonna pull it out. It's gonna be from Fisher Price. There's gonna be a light bulb as the cooking mechanism. She's like, Oh, I just got this from the factory right now. The factory sort of looks like a Toys R Us. You know, I found it on the shelf and I put my name on it. Here's the funny thing. Like when you watch these shows typically like, you know, real business women and I will even give props to Ramona, but like Bethany, like you see this airing on Bravo and that shit is in the store. When we first heard about Skinny Girl Margaritas, it was not in every store in Los Angeles by any means, but you could actually like go out and try to steal yourself a bottle real quick. This toaster oven, I don't think we're ever gonna see, we're never gonna see it on city target shelf at the Beverly connection. This is the sort of toaster oven that you resurrect dead corpse with. Okay. Meaning that like someone, some crazy high school student like has already gone like, has gone into the back of it and you plug it into some human because you know, the voltage is probably off the charts, you know, it probably smokes when you turn it on. It'll probably be like weird science too and Kelly LaBrock will pop out when they turn it on. That would make the season so amazing. Well, they're re-editing right now. So it's very possible. Kelly LaBrock is definitely free. I just, I have a fear for other future household items that Sonya might usher into our world. Well, her house was falling apart, so she needs plenty of them. So I wouldn't be surprised. Okay. I saw on a really late night infomercial the other day, this stuff that's like spray cement and it comes out of a can, you know, you spray it and it's like for cracks in the ceiling and stuff. So you could just spray yourself and not have to call the plumber and I thought, Hurricane Irene. Sonya should be on the cover of this shit, getting a percentage of this. This is what she should be doing. Except she would probably think it's like hairspray and then she'd walk into a party with that helmet of cement on her head and she'd be laughing. And no panties. No panties. So I lost my pants and I put cement on my head. Who knew? I'm Sonya. I'm fun. I party. I love party. I want, I want a sexy J and I put cemets in my hair, so I look like the dot above the J. Okay, back to the actual meeting. Do you guys think that Sonya disrespected Heather and Heather's business acumen by having Ramona show up at this business meeting? Yes, 100%. Yes, but but Sonya is also an idiot and she's very easily pushed around, which is why Ramona hangs out with her. And I'm sure she said I have some meeting with Heather and Ramona was like, Oh, I should come to the meeting. I should help you. I should hear what she has to say. I'm a very successful business woman. Excuse me. There's an earthquake. There's an earthquake. Oh my god. LA right now. I totally felt that. I totally felt that. My house just went in. Oh shit. My house. Oh my god. My house is still shaking. It's still shaking. Well, we don't live. It's not each other. Where do you live? It's not shaking. It's not shaking hard. I am like not giving you my street address. Oh shit, just fell. My house is not shaking. I have a question. Is that weird? First of all, is it not shaking because you're drinking? I'm casually because I've gotten so fat that I'm just holding it down. I am casually now in a doorway. We just have our first live earthquake on our podcast. By the way, I'm really glad we're a podcast internet because there was an earthquake a week ago. It was at 3.30 in the morning and it woke me up. I woke up like two minutes beforehand, actually, ironically. When the earth started to shake, I jumped out of my bed and I carried this in my bed with a comforter on my head and then I realized afterwards that where I had jumped was in the direct path of my bookshelf and had it been a real earthquake, the shelf. Earlier in the podcast when I called you a pussy, I'm standing by that. Look at me. Look at me being horrified by an earthquake. What a pussy I am. I would just say that like two seconds ago when the live earthquake happened on the podcast, I might have screamed like a woman. No, no. You know what? You should have because I heard the thing fall over in the apartment. It's on the podcast. My little Tokidoki toys just all like fell over like little dominoes. This was God's way of being like, please stop talking about these women. I am shaking you. This is like God wants to slap us next. I think it was Bravo. I think it was Bravo PR. Anyway, let's move on. Okay, we kind of are. Bravo PR doesn't have that kind of power, otherwise they wouldn't have misadvised on their hands. I'm Jesus Christ people. I'm a little tough. Let's have a moment of silence right there because wow, that was that was powerful. And I could not agree more. Wait, I have a question. How was it that it was shaking so hard at your place, Matt? And I was definitely like shaking here, but like you had shit falling off your off yours. Nothing happened. I'm sitting in my house. There is shit hanging on every inch of the wall. Like I have to decorate every second, you know, like every inch of the wall. And there's nothing. I mean, I'm waiting for shit to start falling on my head. I'm disappointed. Are you suggesting tragedy? Are you suggesting that I'm pre Parkinson's? No, but we had, then we had, no, no, no, Facebook is lighting up. Shake, shake, shake, and the earthquakes, earthquake, anyone feeling an earthquake alone in my office, not thawing earthquake, earthquake, earth moved, LOL. So glad you're there, Facebook. Really, really, really groundbreaking stuff. Okay, back to the dinner party. We already talked about we talked and having their feud over the wine. And now I need to talk about Luan being horribly awful. We're not done yet, because we got interrupted during our toaster meeting. Hello, I know that was the equivalence of also Ramona ruining our flow. We were Heather first fucking Ramona, fuck something else up. So Ramona, this is my favorite part about that meeting. Ramona is obviously being a bit, she takes a call on the phone. Heather's mortified. The guy who seems like a hack, I can't believe anyone would hire that guy. He seems like a petulant little fuck. I wouldn't, I wouldn't hire him. But everyone's all pissed off at Ramona and Heather's like, fine, I'm not going to do this. So she's kind of back out with this toaster of a thing and Sonia freaks a fuck out. She knows she can't hire anybody. And she keeps saying, I'm a client, I'm a client. Heather's like, you're not a client. And the look of sheer terror on Sonya's face was just priceless. I loved it. Can we just dive back into the vault for a second? Do not remember last season when one season wonder Cindy bar shop took a phone call, a business phone call in front of Sonya when she was trying to present her toaster oven for the first time. And Sonya lost her fucking mind on Cindy for the rest of the season because of that. And yet she lets Ramona do it during one of her own business meetings in her fucking dining room. Good call. You fucking hypocritical whore. No, you said you watched last season. So you must remember that there's a pecking order according to Sonya as well. And she she has a big old beak and she likes to go get some, you know, snacks off the floor of her house because she can't afford real food. She said there's a pecking order and when Ramona's here invites you to whatever you listen. Shrimona can do anything she wants. That's what we've learned. Who puts up with room? This is what I don't understand about New York. How are people not just walking around with baseball bats and not people like Ramona? Not people like Ramona. Just Ramona. You know that guy, that guy who was in that meeting, the guy with the beard, the creative professional, he looked like he wanted to strangle Ramona. He wanted to take a baseball bat and an axe and a chainsaw to her face. So many Ramona's in New York. There are so I mean, she's not original. She's just one of many. And I just don't know how people don't don't and don't be hating on me either, New Yorkers, because you know that that's true. You're standing in line anywhere. I remember being a waiter in New York and saying so how is everything? And this is the typical New York answer. It could be better. That sounds like something Joel Zarin has said many a time. Yeah, it could be better. Fucking Ramona. All right, let's keep going. Okay, can we please get to LeCerc? Because I want to talk about Lu Ran and how Carol thinks that Luan is racist towards Native Americans and we can't say Indians anymore. Discuss. Well, actually, Carol was wrong because I think the accepted term now is American Indian. It's no longer a Native American. But that being said, it still was not the best thing for Luan to be talking about scalping and what about the rape that people are rapists and scalpers. And that Jacques is like calling her an aborigine and saying it's just his polite way of calling her savage. I mean, were they just so drunk or has Luan just lost her fucking mind? It was one of those things where you just would never want to say any of that on camera ever. But she did it. Luan does not seem to know that she even does anything wrong, which I really love. I had a quote from her here about that where it's like, Luan did a step, stands up for herself and says, I'm not a racist. And she's like, well, you know, it seems like she just has a problem with anything I say. I could say tomato and she'd say tomato. Of course that's a Luan quote. That's quotes it. By the way, I am still so distracted by this earthquake. I am not a professional. I am not a professional. Ever roll live. Do you think anybody died, you guys? It was a magnitude 4.4. And it was looks like it was over by Anaheim. So doesn't the world may have collapsed? Let's hope so. God. Overall, those people who are protesting the police. Uh oh. Uh oh. I have a question. When is this Luan storyline about her and the baby going to end? I'm getting a little tired of that. Like, you're not going to have a baby. You're 85 years old. There's nothing else going on up in there. So stop running around and talking to people and making Sonia relive the fact that she miscarried once and bring out her inner sadness. And why do we have to listen to that? Like, you miscarried when you were 20. I don't want to hear about that. That shouldn't be something you bring up at lunch. But also, that's like me inviting you guys. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Bring up at lunch or bring up on national television. Or Apple. Yeah. I just don't want to know it. I don't want to know that. Okay, if you invited us to lunch, what would happen? What if I invited you? With Credit Karma finding the right credit card for you is easy. Our app analyzes user profiles to suggest personalized recommendations. Visit credit karma.com today to explore cards tailored to your needs. Credit Karma simplifying your financial choices. Hey, Prime members. Have you heard? You can listen to your favorite podcasts at free. Good news. With Amazon Music, you have access to the largest catalog of ad-free top podcasts included with your Prime membership. To start listening, download the Amazon Music app for free or go to amazon.com/adfreepodcast. That's amazon.com/adfreepodcast to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads. Did you do lunch tomorrow? And I was like, you guys, I'm going to have a baby. What do you think? What do you think about that? What do you think about me getting pregnant? I would say you just lost your dog under your bed and you had a panic attack as you thought he ran away. You might not want to have a baby. I'd be like, if you had a child, you would not know what to do with that child during an earthquake because you wouldn't even notice that there's an earthquake going on. Your child would be under rubble and you'd be like, oh wait, was there an earthquake? You're actually perfect fucking reality show people because neither one of you said, Ronnie, you can't make a baby. You have penis. I think you can't have a baby. You could have a baby with Luan. Ronnie, I believe in dreams. No. And if your dream is to have a baby, good God, you can have one. I'm going to have like 10 babies. Are you kidding? I mean, some of them, you guys like drop them out of me, not like a rented baby or like. Well, it depends on what counts as a baby. If you call your poop, your babies, then you can definitely have babies. Wow. Okay, now I am clutching my curls in. Now I am. Here you go. Just so you can collect so. Okay, we're leaving Lacerque and we're going to move on to the bizarre five minute interlude starring the man of the season, Harry Dubin, who has fucked all of the housewives except for Carol's zombie posts. If penises could throw up, mine would have thrown a minute. He came on the screen. How this is his come back hairdo. This is this is the real problem with the women here in New York City on this show. If this is this is the best they can do, like after all this talk about this guy who has honestly poked every single hole, you know, in the greater tri tri state area, this is this is what he looks like just some schlub. What is the deal with this guy? I mean, does he have a monster schlong or is that this bank account or is it a combo? That's what makes me crazy as well about this show. Here's a bunch of old ladies chasing around money. Not one of these bitches has made and don't even go there about Carol. Yes, she's had a job, but you know that she got that shit through somebody that she knew because she knew like I'm going to defend Carol. I think she's a fraud. I would tend to agree because every one of these women have married into money and Ramona with her. Oh, I'm such a business. Shut up, Ramona. No, you're not. You married into fucking money, just like everybody else. So what happened to feminism? What happened to women like growing up their armpit hair and just like having a fit like telling guys to fuck off. And when you open a door for a woman that kicked you in the balls, what happened to that? We're like, we're birding. That's called go to Silver Lake. I've seen it all or go to Atlanta because Nini will do that. Yeah, but the exception of the armpit here. Okay, back to me. Back to Harry. Do you have been for a second? What did you think of Poopy the Pig? Yeah, so that was a bizarre thing for me. So this is like, but dance, are you kidding me? Is this like 2005 and Netscape just like, why is he making a cartoon called Poopy the Pig? Like I don't understand that. I don't understand who it's for, like where it's going to air, why he's doing it. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. Shitting a pig? Are you kidding me? Well, the best is I love how Aviva then, you know, because Aviva has this very, even though she's, you know, she's she's a Jew like me. She has a very sort of waspy accent. And I love how she talks to us. She says, well, you know, we really hope that Poopy the Pig does well because if it does well for Harry, it'll do well for Harrison. So we really have a lot invested in Poopy the Pig. And to hear her in this like high flu and accent talking about Poopy the Pig, to me was one of the highlights of the episode. She truly is turning into Madonna with that fake fucking accent. I love that accent. With a like without doctors. Now if only Madonna could get a peg leg. It can be arranged. It can be arranged. I'm pretty unnatural. So I really don't like Aviva. I don't hate her because I don't I don't find anything hateable. And also she's handicapped. So I don't want like peg legs like attacking me in the streets. But if a peg leg can catch you and beat you up, you deserve to die. Why would she be on a TV show? I think there's an Olympic runner who has no legs who is running in the Olympics. South Africa, he's who's South African. He has two like bionic legs. And I'm rooting for him. But you just said if if a peg leg can catch up to you, then you deserve to die. I think we found a peg leg who could do that. I'm always sitting down. So it wouldn't be hard to catch me. And also another reason why you shouldn't have a baby. By the way, what happens to Aviva in an earthquake and allowed in the Olympics? Why is that fair? That's not fair. That's like, how come you can't take stimulating drugs, but you can have organs in our ears? I don't think this is fair. Listen, listen, it wasn't a problem because you know, there was this whole controversy that his disguise like bionic limbs would somehow like help him. You know what? I watched the race, his last race. He came in dead last. Okay. So it turns out that it does actually help if you have legs in a foot race. Well, and it's it's also called he has no legs. And let's be honest, the Olympics are not about the fastest times. They're not about sticking the landing. They're about the heart string pulling stories. I'll lock Harry's drug and you know, single moms and rape victims and you know, people with disabilities. I don't care about who wins. I care about the stories that make me cry. I care about Ryan Bailey, the sprinter. That's all I care about now. That's what you want? Okay, let's pick. Let's let's take a second here. What Olympian do you want to do? Is that yours? Yeah, Ryan Bailey, Ryan Bailey, the sprinter, not Ryan Bailey, the water polo guy, but the Ryan Bailey, the water polo guy is also, you know, a solid contender. Ronnie, can I assume that your pick would be Mr. May trainer? I haven't really been watching it. I know that that's horrible to say, but I only watched one night of gymnastics and there was a guy who fell down a lot. So yeah, I guess I would probably do him because I really like insecure guys. You can control them easily. You sound like Ramona when you pick your friends. That's how you pick your men. Yes. Look, I think that one reason I hate Ramona is because I'm probably just like her. Oh my God, you guys, this is better than therapy. Well, you do you do like Nathan Adrian, I was gonna say Nathan Adrian is like number two. Nathan Adrian is mine with two first names. I hate that. If you saw Nathan Adrian, you'd probably excuse him. Yeah, you would get over it real fast. Okay, moving on. There was a photo shoot that Heather held and Sonia showed up. We kind of briefly talked about that. What did you think about Heather then dragging Luan into the situation kind of to get back at Sonia for having Ramona there? What was Luan even doing there? That was another example where they just had no exposition. They just started seeing them. The people were there. It's like, why is Luan at this photo shoot as busy trying on jewelry in the background? And the thing that was weird was that like it was a photo shoot. It was strange that they were discussing the logo still and what should be in the photo shoot at the photo shoot. Like that's stuff that I would imagine be set beforehand. The whole thing kind of confused me and it was all very tense too. Well, do you guys think that that's going to come up like the reunion? Because I mean, Sonia is denying the fact that she approved a logo, but then they cut back to it. And Sonia definitely points it out and says, yes, I'm fine with that. And you know, she and Heather are at a clear impasse there. Is that going to be like a crux of an issue for the rest of the season? And do you think that that will be a major sticking point at the reunion? Yes, I think so. God, this is going to be the most neurotic fucking reunion of all time. Three parts, three parts, please God. Oh, great. I just, it's, it hurts me to even think about this reunion. I think it's going to, I love when small shit like this becomes the source of huge arguments later down the season. I love it. Well, and you know that the guy that's working with Heather when he told Sonia, the deal is that Ramona cannot show up during the official photo shoot. That means Ramona shows up during the official photo shoot, right? Probably. Oh, yeah, they showed it in the previews. Did they? Didn't they? Where she's where Ramona saying, uh, did you or did you not tell her I couldn't come to the photo shoot? And she said, well, I agreed with her. She's like, well, you would you just lied to my face. You just lied to me and you talk by my back. Oh, yeah. That's going to be good. And Heather had like crazy clown makeup on during that that that she has like, oh, she puts on white face. I wonder if she's like doing reverse racist, like, menstrual shows. It doesn't have something to do with the fact that she worked at the house of Darian too long. She puts that white face. It's like she's miming. She's got the white face and then she wears a turtle like to cover up her chicken skin. She would be a perfect for miming. She, she, she and Jacques should move to Paris, but she never shuts up. Oh, that's true. She can't shut the fuck up. You know, the thing with Heather, and this is going to be very catty because I'm going to be making fun of her physical appearance here for a moment, but she's got one of those like young, old faces where sometimes she looks young and then all of a sudden she looks like she's 48, you know, and it goes back and forth sometimes within like seconds. Do you guys ever notice that? I have. They've really perfected the reality show lighting for these women. I think that the housewives genre has really made the lighting people up their games because I saw Lisa Vanderpump in some interview on something. I don't know. It's like she just popped on my TV and I'm like, holy mother of fallenness. Jesus Christ, what happened to her? It's only been a few months since she's been off my TV. And then I realized, oh, they don't have red. They don't have the right lights on the red carpet. Either that or chicken. Either that or magician Adrien Maloof casts a spell on her to make her age rapidly found a way to boot a Mac system into her brain and have Photoshop Adobe CS5 like as she's on the show, like just retouching her. She walks around the city because it looks so normal on the TV. And then you see her on a red carpet. It's like, whoa, God is angry with us today. Perhaps there's another fire from that started from the earthquake at her house right now to punish her even further. I know. I know. The 40 minute mark was Carol's gay quasi gay neighbor trip boring snore. And then the show ended Real Housewives of New York City with Luann's coat party. The fight with Ramona continued. Sonya made an incredible scene and pool of herself. Yes. And then we really, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we stop. No, what? Whatever. You can't, you can't gloss over the fact that it, that, that's, that's the only thing. Set up like the four things and then kind of get into it. But okay. Well, we're going, I'm talking about Sonya and how she was super drunk, super, super drunk. And then I love how like she, so she's going off on Jacques saying that Jacques needs to make a commitment, whatever. And then she just very casually just drops in this stuff. But, you know, Jews love babies or something like that. I was like, you know, like, just, I love how this episode seems to either pertain to awkwardness around a toast rather than, or awkwardness around racial stereotypes or, or ethnic or religious stereotypes. Did anyone notice the Jewish comments? Is that just me? Am I just being Jewish? But I think that every time she says something, there's a part of my brain that just like fills up with soap. I can't, I can't hear anything. She's so fun to me. I love the part where, um, do you want to keep talking about that? Because I really did love the part where Sonya took way too many pills before she sat down. What was wrong with Sonya, you guys? She may have smoked like a fern beforehand. No kidding, she was out of control in that scene. She was, when Ramona pushes the wine glass away from you, there's a real fucking problem. Also, uh, I was actually talking to our friend Lisa Timmons about this episode earlier today, and Lisa was laughing. She was like, she's like, I love how Luann is like, oh, doesn't life and style though the best parties? And she's like, Lisa was like, life and style is like the bottom of all the tabloids. Like, this is not the New Yorker here. This isn't, this isn't even us weekly. Life and style is just a shade above the post. And Luann's acting like they have been invited to like the Nobel Prize. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, come on, Ramona's cover of the learning annex was how she opened the season. Like, well, and Luann built the Suez Canal. That's true. With her bare hand with her bare hands and her, um, Indian ancestors, they built the Suez Canal. She invented gaming to save her people. She did a really great job with that. I really love those Wheel of Fortune machines. Great work, LaSaps. Carl's like, this is racist. This is racist. I'm not trying to get away from New York, even though I hate it and wish it was dead. Um, but I do want to, uh, point out that someone on Twitter named Patricia Patian. I don't know. Would you guys, could you name yourself things that are pronounceable on Twitter? She's just like some white girl, like Patricia passion. Okay, whatever. Hi, Patricia. Just listen to the last wet crappins. At the end, they say they love Tammy. Real housewives of Orange County Tammy, because last time they hated her. We reserved the right to be hypocrites and change our mind every five minutes, first of all. I am not. We are not talking about Tammy Knickerbacher, are we? Talking about Tammy, um, E.B. Raven. Twitter people. Yeah. Tammy from, from Twitter. Yeah. And we also love Alexis Bolino. She's very funny or he, whoever's running that Twitter account. It's a robot with extensions. Um, okay. Before we wrap up New York City, we have to talk about the band. Oh, yeah. And, uh, brought in. First of all, who doesn't know the fucking words to jingle bells? You should go kill you. I know. Thank you. Thank you. Now that is a, that's the suicidal. And you know how to sing it. That is a suicidal offense. I agree. Because when Aviva was like Aviva, who's like, I'm not sure if I know the lyrics. I don't know if I can sing as if she herself were at the Olympic trials, like about to be forced to go on the, on do synchronized diving. Like, oh, I'm not, I don't know if I can do this. It's just jingle bells for crying out loud. And she had to, she had to check with her husband before she went up there because she can't do anything without him pushing her on an airplane or well, she popped an elevator or, you know, making her spread her legs, I'm sure. My God, she's such a pain in the ass. She probably has a deep-seated fear of jingle bells because she was probably seeing it when she got caught on the conveyor belt. Oh my God. You are terrible. What? I'm just, it's just a theory because everything else scares her from that incident. At least they admitted it because some of you just got up there front and center, wasted off. We're at like, hey, let's play, play, play, play. Okay, Ron, you just bark like those dogs. And by all of us, I mean, really are listeners and not me and Ben. And will you please give your rendition of the mega Christmas mix entitled jingle bells? I want to fuck you in the ass. They're so naughty. They're so naughty. Well, before, you know, the funny thing is even before they got this crazy band got to the repeated chorus, if I want to fuck you in the ass, this, this whole jingle bells song, they're singing it. There's like this umpa lumba music going to the background. They're all off key. They're all out of sync. They're like, jingle bells, like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. It was so bizarre. And then this guy starts saying, I want to fuck you in this. And then the best is Luan. Luan goes, oh my Christmas music. Oh my Christmas music. And then they cut Carol in a confessional going, I really like them. I think I'm gonna hire them for my next party. Because I'm so young in here. I like hater culture, trip, hire the fuck me in the ass people and tell Rajena. Well, this is another example of housewives refusing to pay for shit at their party. Yeah, if one had just hired somebody instead of walked down the street taking any old homeless asshole off the street, not offering them a coat and return for some songs who wouldn't have them I can't call ladies in the ass party. Suddenly Sonya is with a megaphone. Suddenly Sonya in the city is not looking like such a bad event planning service. I'm like bring back Karen Quincy. But like the style does for their Christmas party. Sonya in the city book a booker. I loved honestly, it was like the best sort of battle. Like it was the best culture battle that there could be. On the one hand, these guys in Mohawk's repeatedly yelling "I want to fuck you in the ass" and their hand counters through the hand. The doy end of matters. Getting her doilies in a bunch as he tries to shut this down. It was fantastic. I thought it was Gene. I just thought it was amazing, amazing TV. Yeah, I thought it was the best episode of the season by far. By far. And we have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks. I mean next week even goes even further off the rails. And thank god they decided to re-edit. But did you guys watch Million Dollar Listing or are we going to Top Chef Masters? What do you guys want to talk about? Well, my TVR seems to not have much respect for Million Dollar Listing because I've now set it on the Tivo three or four times. And it's recording it on like Saturdays. And I don't even know what episode like what order I'm watching them in. The great news is you don't have to watch it in order because it doesn't make sense. Yeah. Here's what happened. They all looked at a bunch of houses and then they made some deals. And then how's the sort of they looking at? There was that house that was up in the Pacific Palisades that Madison was doing with his friend. There was the house that Josh Altman was selling in Hermosa Beach for 3.25 or something like that. Oh, no, no. The one I had was the one where Heather threw a drink on. That's two ago. I think I'd seen. But then there was another one after it where Madison was trying to sell that beach house that he wouldn't show while it was being built. Yeah, that's old. And he still couldn't sell it. That guy sucks. The story of this one was that Josh confronted Madison. So Madison, after Heather threw glass, did not throw the glass of wine, just threw wine at Madison. He apparently-- In front of a lot of people. He sent her a cease and desist letter. And a parent, so Josh went and was like, hey, can you just stop this silliness? Although he didn't say it as nicely as that. He didn't say it as nicely as that. I am already starting to think right now that you and I are about to have a fucking cat fight because I get the impression that you are team Josh Altman, and I am team Madison Hildebrand. I'm kind of like-- Here's the thing. It's very fitting. Don't know if I can be team Madison because he alleged in his letter apparently that Heather did some great bodily harm and assaulted him, etc. And she-- Emotional distress. Emotional distress. Don't forget that. So here's the thing. She is sketchy for going to Josh Altman and everything. She is a snake. But that being said, I mean, Madison should just get over. I mean, don't be sending letters and being like, oh, great emotional harm. Okay, Ronnie, let me ask you this down. Let me say, first of all, that is a compulsive liar. Did you guys see when he went to Colorado and he was telling his mom his sob story about how Heather betrayed the whole family and how he doesn't even understand what happened. She was just suddenly yelling at him and stealing his money. She did. She did all of that. No, but he does not say at all how it went down. Like, she got a listing that was worth 3. Something million dollars. Because she probably screwed the seller coming to the senate. She's a whore. I ended just firing her outright, not listening to her side of the story, and then refused to give her permissions for properties that she worked on. Yeah, but then she starts calling on that. He's saying. Yeah, but nobody's paying attention to the fact that then she's digging through his files and his Rolodex when she's no longer his business partner and then talking shit to his current clients fucking up his future business. That's a problem. Don't pass that you don't not pay somebody. You don't want to. Apparently it wasn't she wasn't contractually obligated to to that money. So she sort of screwed in that situation. When you say apparently you're saying that because that's what Madison said in his confession. Yeah, but that guy's obviously a liar because I saw what he told his parents and it was all live. Well, he also told his parents for a long time that he was straight and everybody knew he's a big ol' homo. So if the parents believed him, it's their dumb fucking fault. Yeah, there you go. And he hasn't told anybody that he's got Cohen's dick up his ass every other day either. And you know he does. So yes, he does. Why do you think he's in a speedo in all the summer bravo promos? I don't believe a thing that that guy says. I don't believe he's even a real estate agent sometimes because he can't sell shit. Okay, but why is Josh Altman going to fight the battles for his, you know, dumb, had girlfriend that's going to be around for about another six months. It's like, because he's a man. He's a man. And that's a men do. That's what men do. If that's how straight he is a cave man douchebag. Yes, but you know, that's what girls. Yeah, girls like that. It's kind of hot. Here's some juice insider gossip. You want to hear this? Yeah. So when I was pretending to house shop about two years ago and was deciding that I'm going to go look at million dollar houses, which I could never afford. I actually toured the house that he lives in that Josh Altman lives in. And it's really like I used to live on wearing one block north of Melrose and that house is like either on Sierra Bonita or Willoughby or something right there. And I went through that house and I really wanted it. By the way, that's let's talk about that house for one second, which is that I think they're renting it though. I don't think he owns it. Okay, because he's like, you know, he's Mr. Slick, he's got this great car. He's always wearing designer suits. And they live in this tiny little bitty bungalow. You know, it's not big. It's not too, too glaring. I mean, it was on the market. I want to say for 1.1. And it's beautiful on the inside. Sure. Like, you know, if he's selling $40 million worth of real estate to as he would say, Persians and Beverly Hills every single year, you'd think that he'd be in some sweeter, you know, a sweeter mass. In the comments section, there was a big fight over these douchebags. And someone said that if you go online to the online listing service, you can find all the agents and see what they're listing, which is kind of crazy. And they said that his all have his face on them. But if you keep following the links, they all lead to different agents. So I'm wondering if he's got some kind of pyramid bullshit going on, where he just gets like a tiny percentage of whatever people are selling. And you know, the other thing is I was speaking to a real estate person. And every time they say on screen, final commission is X amount, that's bullshit also, because apparently the commission is actually negotiated with the client. So like, you don't just automatically get your, like, whatever 10 or 20%, whatever the commission is supposed to not, it's not doesn't work that way. Apparently, it's always negotiated. And a lot of it's never as much as that always negotiated. And it's always negotiated typically for a lot less than that percentage. And these people also work for major real estate houses in Los Angeles, like Keller Williams. And guess what? They're taking a cut of that fucking money. Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad we really, we really, we're really setting the record straight with million dollars thing of our listeners might need to know this, this information in case they want to move to Los Angeles and buy a million dollar home. I think so. I never thought I'd see the day that Josh Flag is my hero of. Yeah. Well, he's becomes you. Yeah. And so it's you. But let's talk about him trying to work out this episode, Ben. Oh, God. Oh, wait, I think I saw that. And he was like, that was interesting. Thank you. Yeah. You know what I don't, you know, my only complain about Josh truly is the bell that slippers, even worse, the boyfriend, even worse, that throne behind his desk. Yeah, that's that that that. What? Okay. Chair. I'm getting I'm getting flustered now. Because because why does he have that ridiculous chair? And is it is it like a family heirloom or did Colton? It's from fucking Z gallery. It looks like it looks like it came from outer space. Okay, and it landed. And I think Superman arrived in it. Okay. And I think that if that's not the case, that means that Colton picked it out. And if that is the case with Josh flags money, with Josh likes money, which makes me like Colton, even less, because he's using Josh's hard earned money to buy crappy, you know, really bad shit, you guys don't like Colton. I think he is so sweet. And he's so sweet when he calls his boyfriend, Fat. Well, his boy friend is Josh Flag is quasi anorexic and Colton is cause and is calling him fat. Well, he wasn't calling him fat. He was saying that his cholesterol is too high and he doesn't want him to die. And also we're gay. We're supposed to call each other fat if we're overweight. Yeah, that's true. It's like a it's a service. Yeah. Or at the very least, you look disappointed and don't make eye contact with your friend. Hey, guys, pretend it's not happening here. Like here's an example. Hey, Ronnie, how am I looking these days? You know, you're you've looked better, but you've looked first. Thanks. Don't let's not have an example with me because I will really cut myself. I will cut myself and stick my finger down my throat. So I couldn't. That's why I hang out with you. Yeah. Um, Josh Flag, I wanted to say I saw a episode where he was a dinner with little Colton and it made me realize why I like Colton because I really like fragile, rocky guys. The game dies. You're so cute. That is a little fight. For some reason, I don't know why it doesn't even make sense, but he kind of reminds me of Mona from Who's the Boss. I don't know why. Living legend, Catherine Helman, who is just like Mona, Carol from Carol. Oh my god. Wait, if if all the real houses of New York City were cast members of Who's the Boss, which ones would they be? Well, I like this one. So Carol is obviously Mona. Aviva Drescher is clearly Judith Light, the uptight psycho blonde. Yeah. Do you think Luan is Tony Danza? Because that's kind of hilarious. Oh, Jacques is Tony Danza. Jacques is Tony Danza. Um, and who ended up being on charmed would be Melissa Milano would be Carol, but like with like those band-aid things pulling back her skin. Wait. So, Carol is Mona and Melissa Milano. That's amazing to walk off stage and then come back and through another door. Well, who's Danny Pintaro? It's got to be someone I hate because I hate Danny Pintaro because I was I once was at a party and he was doing on a date with Danny Pintaro. Please, I have standards. He was there and like like it was like, I didn't even realize it was him because, you know, by the way, he got fat. I'm so happy to say that because you know what? So, we really hit this party and I entered this group of like two or three of us. I sort of like entered this like conversation. Was it like you and Mindy Cohn and Bronson Pincho? In my dreams. In my dreams. Alas, all I had was Danny Pintaro and like one or two other people. And Danny Pintaro just like turns, looks at my looks at me and says some says something along the lines of like nice haircut like that. I was like, what? I was like, I don't even know. I was like, I don't even know you, but I didn't even know him. And he just like totally dissed my hair. Ronnie, what would you have done? Had you had he said that to you? I would, I would slap him. Well, I just said, I said, at dry eyes and I would have asked the host for some Vaseline and I would have put it. I mean, some, um, some, uh, visine and I would dropped it in his drink and watch him barf and have the shit on my weight. Is that like, well, visine make you barf and get the shits. Totally. New diet. M G. I'm going to have a visine shake after we just stop recording. I tell you one thing. When Danny Pintaro said that to me, I, so I was like, thanks. And then I walked away and then I told songs, you know, in classic gay form, I was like, that guy over there just said this to me. And then like, I mean, Danny Pintaro, I'm like, I just got just by a child, former child actor. I'm like, I don't know if this is a low point of my life or a high point. What do you think Danny Pintaro is doing right now? I'm going to guess that he is a hostess at the cheesecake factory in Rancho Cucamonga. I don't know if he's qualified for that. And notice how I said hostess, not host. Yeah, I think he's probably masturbating alone with in a room that smells like cats and, um, the other browser windows that he has open are like monster.com. And I think he's, I think he's trapped under that he's trapped under a stack of, um, teen teen, I don't know, teen beat magazines from the 80s that had him on the cover and that fell over because there was an earthquake and he's trapped. And God, that's why God made an earthquake. God was trying to kill Danny Pintaro. It all comes together now. I knew it. Another one solved. That's why the earth shook. The earth shook because it was like final destination. You know, he like just barely avoided death. And so that's going to be the opening to final destination six. It's going to be like a bookshelf that's like shaking. And all the kids are going to have to escape the bookshelf falling over. And then when they find him and he's dead under the stack of magazines with him on the cover, someone's going to be very poetic and say he was killed by his own vanity. And it will be Catherine Hellman played by Carol. What? Ronnie is Danny Pintaro. He's he's the gate for 10 minutes. He's the gay little kid on who's the boss. A little blonde one. Jonathan. What was the last name? Jonathan Bauer just slipped him up. You guys, I don't think he would look very good fat. He looks like kind of play Aiken. Right? He has maybe some illnesses. His best years were behind him. Yeah. Oh, you know what the first thing that comes up? Well, Wikipedia is the first thing. And then there's a strip of pictures. And then the first article is called washed up celebrities, Danny Pintaro. Yeah. He's he's a washed up asshole. He made fun of my hair. And no one makes fun of my hair. Well, God, just a cure of him for ease under a stack of teen beats. Which, by the way, may not be a true real magazine. I think it's Tiger Beat and Teen. Tiger Beat in my teen, right? Or 17. Oh, 17. The magazine and seven. Those are all real, I think. But I mixed them all together and made Teen Beat. You guys, we should totally work in TV. So wait, what else has been on Bravo? The misadvised season finale is on. I mean, that's something mean about it, which is not fair. Because a my friend is one of the producers on that show. So congratulations to her. Yeah. Your show. And I've never seen it. Like, that's how good of a friend I am that I haven't even watched a show still. Sounds like you've been misadvised. Sounds like I've been listening from your advised. Hmm. Wait, can I talk about Top Chef Masters? Well, you neither of you guys are watching it, right? Well, no, I mean, last week, I said that I was going to watch everything. So we could talk about it this week. But I'm a liar and I didn't watch Top Chef Masters misadvised or look the love broker, which, as you said earlier, Ben, what is the difference between misadvised and love broker? We'll never know. We'll never know because I'm not going to watch those. But let me tell you about Top Chef Masters real quickly, which is that last season sucked. It was boring. They had bad judges, et cetera, et cetera. This season is so much better, guys. The judges. Hey, you sound so earnest right there. And I'm just going to have to make a proclamation because you like to make proclamations. Curtis Stone is the most boring person. I hate any show that Curtis Stone is on. I am boycotting. I hate him. Stone looks like an arrogant asshole, and he gives people dirty looks. And I noticed that when he's judging them, if they're homely, like, if he's talking to an ugly chick or something, he gives her the body check. Like, he looks her up and down like she's a disgusting piece of garbage. And then he gives her a fake smile. And he might as well have the Madison laugh from million dollar listing. Oh my god. That's my favorite thing ever. I'm so excited whenever I see him come on to a new show and he's skinny. And by the end of the season, he's like, I love it every time. He is an he is an asshole. And I wish they would get rid of him. But I would say the chefs have a lot more personality this season. Plus, my least favorite celebrity chef of all time art Smith is on it. And I hate him, but he's a great villain. And so it makes me, like, engaged. It's art Smith, the chubby guy who used to work for Oprah and make like Southern food. Yeah, but he lost weight. And he he's like the biggest braggart there is. He went this past episode. He mentioned about five times that he made a cake for Lady Gaga. And he and he always mentioned that. That's so 2009. I know. But he's always talking about how we cook for the Obamas and for Oprah. He is like the worst. But there's good first episode. And he's like, well, I could cook for Oprah girl. And I'm like, you know what? So does McDonald's like every day. Yeah. Millions served and the millions are all over. Yeah. Her acres, millions of acres. Have you guys seen Gail's ass? Gail's ass is fucking huge. Gail Simmons or Gail? Gail, Oprah's Gail, Oprah's Gail. Oh, I imagine she's got some booty going on there. No, it's like tripled in size since Oprah has gone off the air. Oh, well, you know, they're standing eating red velvet cake. That's shaped like Tyler Perry. Oh, I like my seat. The same like Tyler Perry. Oprah loves Tyler Perry. She does. And she also loves Fantasia burino. And my Angelou. And she's also trying to rescue Rihanna right now. Like, I love whenever like an African American celebrity, like is starting to like act a little crazy and like maybe go off the deep end. Oprah, who thinks she's Jesus Christ, is like, let me swoop in and save you Rihanna before the cocaine takes over. Guess what? The cocaine has already taken over. Rihanna is a lost cause safer on your fucking lame ass network. No one watching that. Stop trying to be nice. Yeah. And it. Yeah, no one likes it. I'll bet Jennifer Aniston probably texts her like, Oh, but do you have any sugar I can borrow? And she's probably like, fuck you, Jennifer Aniston. I didn't even return in that case. What does she say to Julia Roberts? She's probably like, Julia, who pretty pretty woman, not pretty old lady. I'm your friend, but you ain't on my TV. What do you think she says to Tom Cruise? Damn, you little. And you never pay for my couch to get clean. I still got little tiny baby baby shoe print marks all over my goddamn cash. And we're still using that couch in the green room over here at not an oxygen. What does she say to John Travolta? I knew you was sucking dick. I knew you was when you came on my show and I thought, God, it smells like someone's been sucking dick. And it wasn't with you sucking dick that whole time. I knew it. I think that Matt something just happened in Matt's pants. That ladies and gentlemen was a Matt with field orgasm. Oh God, this is better than cardio. Nothing like an earthquake to bring out the best in our podcast. Oh God, that's true. Anyway, I think we're I think we've stopped talking about Bravo a long time ago. And we are also minutes and minutes over. Okay, well, we'll wrap this up. I will say thank you guys all for listening. You can always download us at the on the iTunes store. We are watch what crappins. We love all of the comments that you leave there and on our Facebook page. Don't forget to like us if you already haven't done that. Follow us on Twitter at what crappins and follow us as individuals on Twitter as well. I'm Matt Whitfield. I'm at life on the M list. Ronnie Karam is at TV gasm. Ben Mandelker is at beside blog. Please stay in touch with us. We love all of the crazy things that you guys write to us. And we're looking forward to another week of craziness next week. And we will have Jersey back into the mix. So we won't have to blab on and on and on about all of the random shit we talked about tonight. And we we we apologize for the earthquake, but Jesus was trying to attack us. Yeah, Jesus want any Pintaro you guys. It was Danny Pintaro. It was actually it wasn't even an earthquake. It was just it was just what happens when Danny Pintaro fat Danny Pintaro walks down the street. Of Rancho Cucamonga. Rancho Cucamonga. I'm going to afford to live in fucking Los Angeles, please. Who's the boss? It's whoever's delivering pizza to Danny Pintaro. All right, we'll see you guys next time. Thanks for listening. 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