Caroline vs. Teresa, Vicky vs. Mortality
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LuAnn vs. Ramona
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Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus, enjoy zero-dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Offer valid for a limited time, minimum $10 per order, service fees, other fees, and additional term supply, Instacart, bringing the store to your door this Halloween. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap Is, a weekly podcast about all the crap on Bravo. The crap that we love, I'm Ben Mandelger from VisaBlog.com. And with me, we've got a full slate of people. We've got our usuals at my co-host, Ronnie Caram from tvgasm.com. Hi Ronnie. Hi everybody. And we have Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. What's up? Ollar! And also joining us is Ms. Lisa Timmons from Banter With Them, from Space. She might sound like she's from Space occasionally because we're doing this all over Skype and if the wireless goes out, you sound like robots. So just bear with us for a moment here. How's everyone doing? So good. I'm really tired from gay pride. But in a good way, like spent, I feel like I've done something. Are you sore? Are you sore in all the right places? No, I'm not having sex on gay pride. You guys, there's this gonorrhea that's going around and it doesn't have a cure. Oh yeah, I read it. Listen, every time I get a pod. Is it the one that makes you eat another man's face? No, although that is protein, so I could have that with diet. I was a little sad that I didn't say any gay people on bath salts this past weekend here. But you know, maybe next year we can have it. Well, you know, honestly, every time we do this podcast, I kind of feel like it's gay pride. So I just felt, I felt at home. I felt like I was podcasting with you guys when I was out there on the streets watching Lisa Vanderpump go buy on her float, which is what happened. Were you shirtless and throwing pearls to jiggy? No, but I was bearing my shoulders like a like a lewd woman in Morocco. I had on a sleeveless tea, which I never do, but I felt like, you know, when in gay room, do as the gay Romans do. It's shaking off your Quaker upbringing. Well, and it was also a very good gay pride because all the house or jersey was like gay months. It's like gay month. I mean, we'll get to that later, but I guess it's just hitting me now that maybe they did that for gay pride. I don't know. That was my first thought also. That's a lot of unintelligible gayness. Well, you you had a you had a brush with some gay jersey pride, didn't you? Oh, yeah. I finally got into some big Hollywood party. I've never done that before, but I just know friends who actually work in the industry. And someone got me into Brian Singer's big gay party. Oh, my God. That is like always a scandalous party. Well, I can see why everybody's naked. I mean, not totally naked, but everyone's in their little speedos because they're all gorgeous and have nobody fat on them. And then there was big gay Greg in the middle of the pool and he got really wasted. And normally, you know, the rule in living in Los Angeles is you can't just walk up to celebrities. You have to pretend you're too cool for that. Yeah. Yes. But once everyone's wasted, it's like, Hey, Hey, that's like a picture. And he's like stumbling out of the party. I was like, what is he going to do? Say no, he can barely see straight. Yeah. But I got to add it to him. He sure pulled it together to give a nice smile. I love that you can. Well, great. I love that Ronny considers him a celebrity. I don't really know if I'm willing. I don't know if I'm willing to give him that title just yet. Yeah. On a housewives show and Dana Wilkie still writes a bravo blog. And who the hell is she? She's like, you know, I think of that girl that yelled at Vicki drunkenly on the OC at a bowling alley can have a bravo blog that Greg is a celebrity. Well, well, all we need to know is that more people listen to our podcast than read Dana Wilkie's blog. She has a burgeoning music career. And I'm very excited for we're going to be buying her CDs very shortly. Who doesn't have a birthing musical career at this point? I know. And I should probably announce that I have a CD coming out soon. And songs about podcasting are very limited demographic, but I think they'll like it. So what are their gossip? I have some I have two Jill Zaren related pieces of gossip to share. Do you guys want to hear them? Yeah, let's keep her relevant. Great idea. Let's do that. So first thing this is I think is funny is that Jill Zaren stopped following Countess Luan on Twitter, which is you know, that is super scandalous. Now Luan can follow blocked by Jill Zaren. But on top of that, I then I then also read that Luan had some sort of real housewives viewing party last week. I don't she did not invite Jill Zaren. She invited but this guy Rob shooter, who I think is a celebrity blogger gossip columnist, whatever. And he brought Jill Zaren as his plus one and it's a little awkward. Apparently Luan was not happy. Oh, yeah, you don't do that at a Luan party. And I'm sorry. She has a book of etiquette and you don't do that. I know. I mean, first a girl sneaks in booze to her son's birthday party. And now a gossip call sneaks in. Oh, yeah, just randomly. Well, she probably just found her. Maybe she got drunk on the street or maybe she tripped over a bottle of something that got into her through a cut in her foot. I don't know, but she was on our bushes. All I know is that is that someone's getting blackmailed by Ramona. Honestly, I believe it's Danielle's stop. I would love to be passed out in Luan's wishes and I don't mean that in a whole new way. I would love it just to be like, yeah, this one time I passed out again just Luan's hedges. I mean, that would be a good story. Isn't that what happened to Aviva's assessment? Perhaps. He's just falling asleep. Just falling asleep. She was speaking French. He couldn't stay awake. Well, did you guys watch Teresa on the view? Oh, no. Tell us. Tell us. Well, thank God for the internet because I had to quit the view a long time ago because I realized that my suicidal tendencies probably had something to do with having that on every morning. But I heard that she was on. So I went to good old-fashioned YouTube. And I got really angry and wrote a rant about it on TV Gasm. So if you're bored, go read it. But basically, Teresa goes on the view and refuses to go on because, of course, they surprise her and they're like, well, guess what? Kathy and Melissa are also here. And she's like, I'm not going. She's like, I'm not going on with them. So she made them do separate interviews. So she was first and these women on the view obviously don't watch the show because they were so mad at Teresa. I mean, well, I guess they could watch the show and still be mad at Teresa. But they were mostly mad at Teresa for being on a reality show and fighting with her family. It's like, yeah, it was kind of the point you dumb bitches. Like, what are we going to do? Okay, do you really expect Elizabeth Hasselbeck to have anything intelligent to say, Ronnie, seriously? Well, actually Elizabeth was on Teresa's side. She was on the wrong side of history at all times. But it really did show kind of it made Teresa look better because the women were being so mean to her and saying, you know, well, is it worth ruining your family to be on this show and how could you still be on the show? And if you really cared about your family, wouldn't you just quit the show and give it up so that you could work on things with your family? Like these women obviously don't understand how TV works. Yeah. Oh, let me ask you this. Do you think Joy Behar would quit the view to like hang out with her boyfriends? No, I mean, they all want the pay they all want the paychecks too. So they need to shut the fuck up. Yeah, and they sit around there talking about nothing all day. All they do is like complain about old lady things all day long. How is that better? Well, exactly. But at least we know we're full of shit. Like the people on the view think they should be in the fucking Diamond Jubilee, idiot. Well, you know, be in talk shows. Matt, wait, wait, we can't move on yet. We can't because there's one more thing I have to tell you. So Teresa stands up for herself pretty good. And she's basically like, no, I'm not going to quit the show. And she told the audience, should I quit the show? And they, of course, like four of them clapped and said no. But then they brought on Melissa and Kathy separately. Yeah. And they were so bitter because they were playing their big victim card. Like, I'm sorry, that's a bueller. Give me that. They were playing their victim card like they do on the show. Like, oh, we just don't understand why Teresa's so mean to me. And Joy is like, well, don't you think she's just jealous? Because you came on the show and she was so famous. And now you're all famous. And she's just jealous of you. And Melissa actually said the words. Yeah, but Joy, we're different brands. Oh, my God. That made me officially over that bit. So I was like, I'm done with you. You know, it was bad enough that her first episode of Jersey, she was already talking about her stupid, terrible off key album that she hadn't made yet. But now I'm officially Hey, now that now that she's referred to herself as a brand. Yes. Yes, Colgate. Well, you're right. I am so I'm still a Melissa fan, but maybe I'm just a different brand as well. Hmm. We're different brands, Ben. We're so brand on the podcast. Yeah, I'm Armin Hammer with baking soda. You're more trident. Speaking of speaking of brands, Matt, why don't you tell us about Bethany's show? Well, last week we mentioned this, Ben. And I'm just I'm done. I'm done. She has a new talk. Oh, it's really bad. She's taping it on Ellen's set. They just like changed the furniture. They premiered this Monday. It's really just boring. And I'm just, you know, I feel embarrassed because I bought all the products. I got so obsessed. I read the self help books for ladies, even though I'm even though I'm a boy. And, you know, I really just think that I'm making her rich and I'm not getting anything from it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're getting skinny here yet. You are getting seen here, but that's not good. Yes, but but not because of her sugar infused drinks. Well, you're getting better. But you said you read her diet books and stuff. So herself help. No, you know what you're getting? You're getting a better sense of self, because the truth is this, for a little bit, we probably all were thinking like this bit, she goes on to a show. She creates an empire for herself. What am I doing myself? But you know, though, now you see her do this show and you realize, you know what? Maybe she doesn't have so much going on for us. She's a crazy woman who talks a lot. Well, not too different from me. And she has a show that no one likes. So we can feel better. Look, here's the thing. She was good as a co-star and having crazy moments in the confessional. She should not be the star of her own show, whether that be a reality show or a talk show. I'm done. I'm officially done. What was was it like, is the show like the format of like Ellen or is it more of like an Oprah or like, what's it like? It doesn't know what the hell it's doing. I mean, she interviewed Ellen as her first guest. How lame is this? Because Ellen's the producer. I mean, it's just it's tragic. It's only playing in about five markets on Fox networks. So I don't know if any of our viewers or listeners are tuning in to her. I would love you guys to post comments because I'm just sick of that shit. Well, I feel like it's to be a huge success. I remember when Sally Jesse Rafael came out, that woman was awkward, but those she sure came through you guys. So that means. So Bethany, all she's are some red framed glasses and then we'll be set. Yes, you just need some terrible glasses and some bangs. Okay, so speaking of Bethany and Jill's Aaron and New York City, why don't we get on to Real Housewives of New York City? And by the way, to touch back on Jill's Aaron, she posted a big blog, a post on her blog today about Real Housewives of New York City. And she basically suggested that people should boycott it and then she remove the blog. So a little bit of scandal there too. What did you think about this week's episode? Boring. Boring. I loved watching Luan raise her, like make the camera crew come to the happen so she could prove that she's actually trying to raise her children. That was hysterical. I think the whole theme of the episode, it was so fun. The whole theme of the episode was how Luan's like sort of solidifying what Ramona has been saying because her daughter, wait, was this episode the one with the art show was at the last one? That was the last one. This is the one with the son who was Pailing French. Okay, the son is failing French last episode. Her daughter had an art show which I thought was was good. I liked it. It was good. Yeah. How dark is that art? I love how her poor, like her children are just like not who she is trying to portray them to be. Yeah, they are rejecting their French heritage and they are doing very unwaspy type of art. Well, and they both look like they're on severe amounts of drugs. Let's just do. They do. They both look lobotomized or something's wrong with those children. Well, they probably have a farm up in the Hamptons and they're just you know stealing the horse tranquilizers. Well, they have no longer know what emotions are after their mother like not go to taco night so many nights. They just stop becoming invested in things like emotions. But let's also be honest. The fact that they are on drugs may be you know one thing, but they are so beautiful both of them to tag and release that Noel, tag and release. Wow, Noel, now he's only 15 so I will not say anything sexual or amorous about him. But when he's 18, he will be fair game. No, he's one of those guys. You're like he's so cute and you do everything you can to get him and then he just smokes all your weed needs all your food and does nothing all day. I mean, seriously, could there be a laser kid on reality TV right now? The kid has a French dad, a French like a mom who likes to think she's French and a mom's boyfriend who actually is French and he still can't pass French class. I was dying at that scene. Luanne was hilarious to me in that scene. Oh, she's so funny. Could not have been more livid. Luanne has like French Tourette's. Oh, I kept thinking about that last episode where I think this is going to be a theme throughout this season, but last episode where she was dying to speak Italian with Heather the first time they met. Well, because it's her way of doing the humble brag to show well, you know, I lived in Italy. I love, you know, I speak Italian, but I love. I do love that. She got her her rage French was great when she was like, Jacques, would you like some more water? No, Elle. That's give me blue blue blue blue blue. She was angry. Like, I'm speaking in French and you will learn this. Yeah, I like what she said. Yeah, that's right. You better say we. I was dying. She has nothing better to do. And I love my favorite part. I mean, don't get me wrong. I still hate Ramona, but my favorite part of the episode was like the four occasions where Ramona kept reminding everybody, including the viewers at home, that Luanne really doesn't have a job. So she has plenty of. She has plenty of time to scream in French. Well, it's a new movie. I love the new Vicky Gumbelson. My favorite part about that argument was when Ramona got so heated and said, I don't even have time to get a manicure. But you know what? I got these gel shellacks. And then she's genuinely. And then, but anyways, I'm mad at you. Luanne just, you know, it actually comes up to a very interesting question, which is, who won this argument here? Is it like, you know, on the one hand, Ramona had a point which is that Luanne is always condescending and truly does not understand when or how she's being perceived as condescending. But then Luanne has a point, which is that Ramona's crazy and like vindictive. So who won here, aside from the viewers? I think Ramona did. I think Ramona did. Ramona did because Luanne's actually going all the way to the city, which is two hours away from her house, away from her kids. Again, to have a stupid fight with Ramona in a park and then go bang jock at some hotel on the bat. So you kind of auto lose. Like, maybe you should call them while you're in the car line at school or, I don't know, like pouring over your son's French homework. Yeah, but I'll tell you who did win it for him. I'll tell you who did win purveyors of purple eyeshadow. They won for sure. They are getting, they are getting a great showcase with Ramona, you know, but Ramona and Luanne are both stuck on the old way of doing things like them to get camera time. You have to yell at each other about this stupid shit that no one cares about. And the new ladies are actually bringing something fun to it. And I like that last night actually concentrated a much on their motherhood, you know, their mothering skills because that's actually really hilarious to watch. And you don't really see a lot of that on TV, like the real side of it. So, you know, like the really lax parenting. I love them. I love them. Well, well, now, Matt, what did you think about the way Heather and her kids, the way they were causing a ruckus in the restaurant? You know, I think they're cute. I think that they're normal children. And I think that kids do that. And I actually think that Heather is the most real of all these crazy women. And I don't have a problem with her kids, you know, acting up, you know, they're three years old and they want macaroni and cheese, you know, and they would probably want to throw it on the wall in the restaurant. Whereas Aviva's children, it's like so fucking formal. That's the goddamn diamond jubilee. And that's like, shut up Aviva Jesus. Remind me. Remind me, by the way, when you eventually have your little adopted Madonna family to never go out to a restaurant with them. Because you're a terrorist. I'm not going to say they're still after they've graduated from boarding school. Don't get it twisted. No, actually, I completely agree with Aviva. I think Heather's very fake. I love how she had her little conversation with Ramona last episode. She said, oh, yeah, that's great. In the confessional, Ramona's a bitch. I hate her. Like, I don't know how Ramona think why she invited me to this dinner. I don't know why she invited me to this dinner. It's like, because you accepted you not. No, no, I'm going to fight you right now. Let me tell you why, because let's kind of park bench. Heather is the day after a gay pride. Okay. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is Heather at least had some class at Ramona's, you know, dinner party, not to get into it with Ramona. So if you're not going to get into it, of course, you're going to talk behind their back and Ramona deserves people to talk behind her back. I mean, Ramona is evil and terrible. But, you know what, though, that's one thing, but I mean, not to harp on last week's episode. So the dinner party was one thing, because Ramona was crazy and said that whole thing about the interrupting. But when Heather liked Ramona, but when Heather had Ramona to her office, and Ramona tells the story and Heather says, thank you so much. Thank you for sharing that. And then in the confessional, totally rips Ramona to shreds. Why? I think that's, why do you people have a problem with that? No, I mean, I thought it was entertaining, but I'm just saying you can't call it real. I think the confessional, I think the confessional was probably done after the fight at Ramona's house. Well, clearly, clearly, because she was trying to be nice to Ramona and then Ramona pissed her off. So now everything is cut. It's like when you watch Jersey and Jackie is very diplomatically hating Teresa the entire time. Yeah, you know, it's like that confessional was done last week and the season was shot last year. I think they've been seething for a while. And then they've seen other stuff and they've experienced other things. So then they really bring it by the time the confessional cameras roll. Well, I think that Ramona is violently idiotic. And I I don't understand how anybody makes it through two minutes without getting a baseball bat and taking it to her head. That woman is so obnoxious. Yeah. And so cross-eyed, bulging-eyed, crazy. Well, I mean, I love, you know, as much as she likes to say that Luann makes little digs when they had their fight. Ramona kept on saying like, look, we'll be fine. You know, as long as you don't start up with me, I won't come back at you. So just don't start up with me. And it'll be fine. It's like, no, Ramona, that's not the way you get a resolution. It's not like you don't couch in an attack in a resolution. Okay. Like, but I have no filter. That's just how I, yeah, that's just me. It's me. I have no filter. That's not an excuse to be a C word. Yes, she's simultaneous. Yelling. So I just can't talk. She simultaneously takes accountability and then denies accountability. It's the most fascinating thing I've ever seen. Well, look, we're never going to hear the tapes from that phone call. So who's, I mean, do you believe that she threatened Luann or not? Yes. I believe, I believe somewhere in the middle. I believe she said something that was vaguely threatening, but she didn't realize it was threatening because she was probably like in some like seizure blackout space of rage and Luann also missensitive. She probably is the one who, you know, she probably did embellish details. I mean, look, look how dramatic. I'm going to be, I'm going to be honest with you. I think that Luann is really, really self-conscious right now and I, that she is on this up to make it bigger than it is. I mean, yes, I do think Ramona probably got on the phone was like, well, I actually know what's going on with your kids. So like, don't think you're fooling anybody, which yes, Luann can spin that into, yes, she's threatening her. However, Luann should feel defensive right now and she should feel self-conscious because clearly she is a shit mother. Yes. I love, you know, I love defensive Luann, especially when she, I love Luann when she gets a gas, like going back to the French thing, when she told us, she's like, would you believe French out of all subjects French? You know, it's just like what you do with the cancer society a few seasons ago. She's like, would you believe Ramona could find me at the cancer society? It would be like me failing countersing. Well, if you think back, oh, I'm sorry about that. If you think back to the lunch with the hit and run lunch with Luann at the side down, I was like, hi girls, Ramona blackmailed me. Okay, gotta go, talk it over. Yeah. She just left that lunch. Luann said Ramona blackmailed me, but she also made sure to get in that story about the girl and the bushes, which means Ramona basically just said, why are you bringing up your children all the time? If you want to talk about your children, we'll talk about the party with some drunk girl on the bus. Yeah. And why are you bringing that up on TV? And then Luann's taking it as blackmail and everything else. Basically, get a fucking storyline, ladies. And my other props, props to new girls for deciding that we're going to hear both stories. And by the way, which brings me to the about, I want to talk about Aviva for a second here. Sister. She's the new sister. She's not. That's exactly what I want to say. Totally. Well, when she, I love, you knew that that was coming as soon as she said, I mean, a little fib to keep from hurting someone's feelings is appropriate. Well, back to that hit the hit and run lunch for a quick second. I mean, I really think that Luann thought that that was her way to gossip with the three new ladies, totally get them under her wing and have them have her back against Ramona and Sonia for the entire season. But I think it's going to actually backfire on her. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, because Carol is, Carol is going to stop that. Carol Channing with Carol, she has Carol Channing off. Well, you know, as to quote, to quote Sonia Morgan, this, I've been hearing a lot about this, Carol Redzuel. Oh, this episode has been, I've had so much fun watching clumsy Samantha Jones. Rolling off her, her hurricane Irene soaked futon. Her kind of rain, so good. I just cannot just make a suggestion here. She has no money. She's like $17 million in debt. She should fuck the shit out of that plot. Oh, yeah. No kidding. Well, she knows that she's trying. She's trying. That's why she was literally jumping up and down to make her boobs bounce around. And by the way, do any of us actually believe that Hurricane Irene causes damage? We know it all came from back up from the toilet when it was clouded with the blackberry last year. No, she's making, she's making it sound like she was in Katrina. Like what? Hurricane Irene. Why is she the only bill that offended her home front? Why is she the only one in New York City who has any damage from the storm? lives in a shack. She does. She lives in like a five story piece of crap apartment. She's like, well, my ex husband renovated this entire place really because the walls are like buco de pepper in there. That is like faux painting. Don't even give me. I love. I love. Someone with a tiny sponge going along every in the whole house. So tough. Yeah. Well, next time they take a sponge, they might want to fucking clean her pit. Oh, I know. You know, Kelly Ben's Ben Simone or whatever was sitting at home. Like I told you it was dirty in there. I like the I like the attention that she puts into having a proper drip pattern using her draperies. You know, I was like, this poor woman is so bored that she probably spends hours arranging her draperies just so so that way she can get this. And then you love how she had to tell. And then she had to tell us that each little tassel knotlet was $35. I mean, they could be cleaned really because they're not cleaned. And that hurricane was a long ass time ago. I watched orders and I know what they do to mold. So, shut up. And you guys, what was with that assistant or whatever her name is? And when she's telling the story to the plumbers, she's like, and my assistant was like, Oh, Miss, Miss, it's raining in here. I was like, what is your white big titted assistant suddenly, Mammy, from Gone With the Wind? Like, I'll get to get a rope. I don't want to know draperies. Like she's being racist to black people while talking about a blonde white girl. I did not understand it. Well, let me let me play something for you about Sonia. This girl is from the south. So this is probably the closest that Sonia's ever gotten to a black person. Unless you count the drag queens at the GLAD event that they went to later in that evening. Oh my God, that was amazing. We're Sonia, Mr. Q. Although I don't think that was Sonia's fault. That was crazy. I don't think so either. And I like the way she handled it. Hello, she has no money. So she has to get the free kebabs backstage. I mean, the girl has no money. There's a free ill take a girl. Oh, and by the way, there was a black person backstage with her. It was Wilson Cruz from my so-called life. So there it's all worked out. So there it all worked out. She's I could just see her with the drag queens. How much did your tassels cost? I'm trying to hire them to renovate her home. She's like, listen, you are big guys, right? Why don't you come in, fix this, drainage problem I'm having. Hang out, I'll make you some crudites in my toaster oven. Not that you've made crudites in the toaster oven, but probably Sonia would. Poor Sonia. I love that she's still holding on. She's embarrassing that the toaster oven cookbook. Well, isn't she actually selling toaster ovens now? Oh, yeah, something about her. It's like called products. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I it's selling toasters now because her toaster was so ratty and she's trying to sell to toaster cookbooks. I kind of want a toaster. I want to see how it works. I feel like you open it up and there's some sort of like long winded explanation about why the door isn't properly. I know you'll open dirty rain under your toast. Yeah, and then you'll find like a beat up blackberry in the back. There it is. Oh, so wait, so let's let's get back to Carol Radzewell for a moment because we haven't touched on her that much. Someone from Target will come to your house and repossess the toaster. I'm going to make a bowl state. You ready? Yeah. Carol's mouth scares me more than Taylor Armstrong's multiplied. No. I Carol sort of buy that one muppet, you know, by Alexis. Oh, the drummer. I'm sorry. Carol's mouth freaks me out. It's a wrinkly old like pruny sack. You know, it is how weird. It is weird, but not worse than Taylor. Oh, yeah, it's worse. Taylor's at least doesn't have like wrinkles crawling out of it. Look, they both hear the thing. They're sort of like, they're too like an old velvet coin purse with dust. I think it sort of looks like an awning, which is what I appreciate about it. It's like if it's rainy, it's because she got those toilet lid teeth before they were perfected. And now they stick out. My favorite thing about Carol is she fancies herself to carry Bradshaw the group. Yeah. She sounds like an old lady, though, which sort of works against that whole effect. Well, well, the thing is she's really funny because she's like, oh, I'm a widow. I wrote a book about being a widow. Please don't remind me that I'm a widow. But my next book is about being a widow. So yeah, I really wish that you'd stop taking me into that headspace about being a widow. But you know that I'm going to write an encyclopedia Britannica on widowhood, but stop asking me about it. She's sort of she's sort of also turning into the one up one upper of this guy. Well, she's not really a one upper. I'm sorry. She's not a one upper. I think she has a lot. Yeah, she's like, she's like, I was more terrified listening to Luann than the time that I was in a fighter plane going to Afghanistan and talking to Peter Jennings on the phone. That was terrifying. Look, she's a complete design. I mean, she's like ridiculous, but the problem is like her ego is getting inflated because Ramona and Aviva are suckling at her teats. Yeah. Well, I mean, Ramona's right. I mean, she is probably more accomplished than any of them, you know, they're not nobody's accomplished as Ramona and Mario. I mean, look at their money. That truth, faith, bullshit, jewelry line is a cash cow. Although, you know, I mean, Carol is, you know, screwing around with someone from Arrowsmith, even if you. Okay, no, let me know. Yeah. Thank you. Let me clarify. He is not a member of Arrowsmith, the. Exactly. Well, oh, the other thing, by the way, I liked what I liked when she was like, you know, I love just driving around and listening to the song that I that that I inspired shut up. And meanwhile, what was that song? It was like, I feel lonely when you're here. Or no, I miss feeling lonely when you're here. In other words, I don't like being around you. I'd rather feel low. Like, what an offensive fucking song. It was written about her experiences with Peter Jennings and Diane Sawyer. It makes sense. You know, you don't would have been perfect is if as they're driving through New York, Luanne is driving the opposite direction, blaring, honey, can you class? You know, in a rented, like, Chrysler's Sebring convertible from budget rent a car. Yeah. Oh, my God. By the way, pregnant, the Luanne would be amazing. I like sort of like the idea of Luanne and Carol drag racing, especially because they're both like drag queens. So it really is appropriate. I have a feeling that the countess has never driven a car. I mean, she's a countess. Well, she's probably, she's probably driven as Citroen, you know. That's very possible. This is like, this is not an attic. I can't drive an automatic. She's like, she only she only will drive. She can wear big sunglasses and a scarf around her head. And it's a convertible into a small car. Oh, yeah. And driving. Yeah. And it's on the other side of the and it's a British made. So she's like, Oh, this is so weird, you Americans. We love what you. We love what you do. If folks, if folks, if folks, if folks can't, we'll live with love with you. Oh, Ben, you're failing French. I am. I am the Noel of this podcast. Would you believe me former French president, French class, fair may, fair may, La Bouche, honey, fair may, La Bouche. Um, okay, before we get to Jersey, I have one quick question about her. Yes. Um, the dead ad thing bothered me in the premiere episode because it was bizarre and awkward, but I actually thought that party was nice and that helps me think that she is a good mother and I don't hate her and she's secretly my favorite and I feel like you all are haters. No, I have to say, I was what I was going to say before, before when we were talking about haters that this week, I thought she was redeemed. I thought she was much cooler this week and I loved her house, but I had to say, you know, one thing that was so funny, when she and her sister were reading this really touching poem that her dad wrote, uh, their dad wrote and it's about veterans and then and they're crying, whatever. And the sister goes, I'm sorry. He's so fucking talented. He seemed like a very emphatic response. Like, you start with car. He's so fucking talented and I'm sorry, but it's true. Yeah, it was just like, it was such a beautiful moment and to sort of say fucking was really very kind of like jarring for me. Yeah, whatever. If you, if your dad, I don't buy it because last week, it's like, oh, no, what my dad died last week and then I did my laundry and then, you know, whatever. Like, it was no big deal. And then this time, she's saying, you know, I loved my dad. We didn't have the best relationship in the world, but I still loved him. But you know what? I don't care really that much. I'm very nonchalant about him dying and we weren't that close, but I'm going to have a big party in our Berkshire's house, which is not pretentious at all. Because you know what? It's very real there. Yeah, Berkshire. We're going to have a party on camera to cry about it for you. Like, shut up. I really don't mind that she was like, awkward about break her dad dying because, you know what? Honestly, there's no way I could, I can understand that. It's like when they, when something like that happens, you just kind of blurk shit out and you're like, I can't believe I just fucking said that. I can't believe I said that. What I find weird is, if I were in her position, I would have been really uncomfortable letting cameras into my home for that intimate moment with my family. It's part of the side. But you know what? By the way, that when you do that, then all of a sudden, it just feels too much like a power play. It felt to me like the way Countess Luan, like having this conversation, look, I am actually interacting with my child. I'm getting him a glass of water. Lisa, this is merely the former grief is taken. That's all. It's the former grief is taken. Look, these like Aviva and I mean, the three new girls need to make shit happen. And I think that they all are trying to make that happen as soon as they can because again, you do not want to be a one-season wonder like Cindy Barshop. So they are trying to get the drama, hook people in, maybe get some fans, maybe get some haters, maybe even more haters because that's probably better. But you know, I don't blame her for that. I mean, these people look, they're all horrible because they want to be on reality TV and make money. So let them be horrible. And let me say one other thing about Heather before we move on. Were you guys not expecting to see, did you just tell me last thing, honey? I said one last thing. Okay. I keep in the flow go and check yourself. Somebody's having his car. I said, okay, one last thing. And all of a sudden, I'm wrong to say one last thing. I was expecting to see Heather's child when they showed little jacks at their party in the Berkshires. Were you not expecting to see him in a hospital bed with 19 IVs? Talk about that child. He's in a, he's in a bubble. He should be in a bubble. Based on the conversation between her and Ramona in like all the interactions that she and Ramona have had, the truth is those two are, I don't think, I don't think Ramona was right. I don't think Heather was wrong. I don't think, you know, but they're just so fucking similar. They're just like intense talkers. Yeah. And they, they rub each other the wrong way. And I think that Ramona brings out the worst in Heather because Heather does really well with like more subdued people. Well, and Heather has her own business and she's surrounded herself with people who make her think that she's intelligent and everything that she says is important. So I think when she's outside her circle, no one really gives a shit, lady. Like, shut up. Hala. Hala. Yeah, they're called Spanx and you didn't invent them. Okay. Okay. So let's go. Let's get some hate mail from Jill Zaren. Let's move on to New Jersey because, you know, we need to, we need to move along. We have a limited amount of time. Um, so, uh, New Jersey. My goodness. Where should we start? This was, she was at a wedding. I call in jied. Maybe. Oh, I forgot about that. That's better than coming. I'm sorry. It's better. She's like, I'm jied. Who is she? It's better than when Teresa said that her brother wanted to go to physical therapy. She didn't know what a tree trunk was. Wait, I guess. Why am I acting surprised? And yet the women of the viewer on her side. Elizabeth, only the rest were anti-tree. So I guess the big story this week. The big story this week was that Teresa had that bombshell article and in touch or life and style or whatever the tabloid was where she bashed all her cast members. And this, of course, came out while they were all together in Chicago for the gay wedding. And, um, Caroline was none too pleased. And, uh, Well, notice it. Get that stick out of her ass. I'm sorry. I'm starting to hate on Caroline. I would think she's being such a drama queen. Well, notice that none of them denied anything that was in that article. Caroline said, Oh, she's twisting my words. Well, Jackie said that Caroline actually did say that. It just didn't mean it that way. And then Melissa said, what? It was just the truth. Why am I in trouble for saying the truth? Okay, bitches. So you're basically all saying that you did give quotes to life and style that we're bashing Teresa, whether you, you know, you consider it hateful or not that we're rude. And now you're acting like Teresa's just making it all up for some magazine, which they're all making something out of nothing. Look, they all said those things. And none of them were really that evil or critical or bashing. And Teresa is not bashing them for saying those things. It's just it is what it is. And, you know, I clearly mean to storyline this season. And they're going to keep rolling out this life and style bullshit because life and style is probably paying their bills at Bravo right now. But it's just I don't think it's a big deal. And I think that Caroline is acting like an asshole. Well, it is kind of funny that they that Teresa posed with a little dog after she made such a big fuss last week about how she hates dogs. That I thought was great. I love that. That is hysterical. I like and style brought the dog. Caroline didn't even know that was going to be grass on the ground. Normally, I'm afraid of dogs. I don't know what was going on. I was just rubbing ky jelly on my tiffy. Oh my god. Hey, why ky? Why ky? Joe always looks like he just ate a pot roast that had been like stuffed with sleeping pills. Somebody said put him on a spit and term. He just does not look comfortable. Like he's always like. I always feel like his pecs are going to burst and like, yes, and gams are going to come out. It's like a Thanksgiving meal waiting to happen. What? Yeah, that ky scene was so embarrassed. I was actually embarrassed for Kentucky. Like that's just so gross. Sorry, Kentucky. Why have you seen so much of him shirtless? Is it like this Bravo? Is this their cool joke? Like we'll show you Joe Gorgas shirtless. But for every time you say Joe Gorga, we're going to show you twice as much of Joe Giudice as a punishment. Oh god. Well, Joe Gorgas is almost a disgusting body too, because it's so ridiculously like action figurine. Ooh, I like it. I think there's. He is four feet tall people. I was just going to say that he is teensy wiency. He's like the size of one of those. Yeah, like he man. I yeah, I am not prejudiced against people of heights of taller, lower. I am I am perfectly happy with a short Joe Joe Gorga. Okay, it's time to commit. 2024 is the year for prioritizing yourself. Begin your new smile journey with bite. And you could start seeing results in just two to three weeks. 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All we can all die content. We already know that Ben's not into the pasty white boys. This is possibly true. No, I'll be fine with some Joe Gorga. I agree with Matt with the way that Caroline's behaving. I liked Caroline for a while, but I think she's taking this queen mother matriarch thing to like she's acting like she wants Theresa to come and kiss her ring. She's always had that problem. She's always had the problem of being high and mighty. The only reason why I'm okay with it right now is that I hate Theresa so much that the enemy of my enemy is my friend. By the way, here's some gossip I should have mentioned. I should have mentioned gossip at the top of the show, but we'll talk about it now because it's Caroline. We learned about the fight with her and Dina last week, and someone on my blog wrote a comment that one of the rumors is that it actually has to do with this gay wedding. The rumor is that the gay wedding was thrown together at the last second for Dina's HGTV show, and then Caroline came in and took it for Bravo. And so that's why it was an issue of undermining Dina and business opportunities and all that. That is juicy. That's good. And that's a good. Makes much more sense. Makes much more sense. Yeah. Okay. I will say this. You know, I can't stay on Caroline this season as we've just discussed, but I do think that a lot of the anger and the hurt feelings do come from this whole Dina situation, which unfortunately we're never going to see like that whole thing unfold. I fucking wish Dina were still on the show. Dina's on the coming attractions for the season. Yeah, she's going to be on, but I don't think it's going to be, but it'll be for like one episode at a party and she'll walk away from the drama. You know, season two of Real Housewives in New Jersey, Caroline was really on the same high horse with Danielle, and I found it to be really annoying. And she's doing it again with Teresa, but I think Teresa is so deluded and so awful. And then on top of that, the fact that like the anti Teresa camp, you know, like the Gorogas and the Wikiles are like so fun and they seem nice and they seem like cool people, even if they're a little passive aggressive, I'm like, you know, how could I, how could I be mad at anyone who's on team anti Teresa, you know? Yeah, I love Teresa. Really? I hate her. Teresa is hysterical. I laugh every week at Teresa. All you really have to do is the housewife is make me laugh and she makes me laugh every time. And I know she's psycho, but part of the fun of Teresa. That means that's true. You know, she does, as Matt loves to say, she makes great TV. And when she said her forehead shrinking, like what's happening here? Yes, it's like even it's like the glaciers in the North Pole, it's like that's what's happened to her forehead. They're melting away. I know I feel like yeah, it's global warm. I feel like Melissa is even competing with Teresa in that way. She's like, look how high my forehead is. She looks like an egg head. She looks like a cone head from the Saturday night live sketch. It's conservation of forehead mass. You know, I thought it was really funny was when Teresa towards the end of the episode, you know, she refuses to go to therapy with her brother, which is retarded. And she said, she's like, why do I have to go to therapy? I don't have any grudges. I don't have any grudges. That was probably the most infuriating thing I've heard her say. I'm not the one holding grudges. They are really, I'm not the one talking about it all the time. Really? Because you're the wedding and you're talking about it behind a bush. I love. But my favorite though is Jacqueline being so passive aggressive. And as I was saying to Ben while we were watching the credits, she up contrary to what she says, even though she's a Vegas girl, she never calls anyone's bluff ever. Yeah. Yeah. She said all the time. She was sitting there. She goes, I really wish you wouldn't have been talking about this for two years. Just getting, just getting. But you can start, you can hear now, like seeing her love, you're starting to crack and obviously like the preview for next week. Like the shit really hits the fan next week because she calls Teresa out on all of her stuff and then out of, you know, staged left, Caroline barges onto the disc, you know, and then it's like game time. That's like, so like, I think we're, she loves to barge Ben. I feel like we're finally getting there. Yes, Jacqueline is kind of lame, even though I love her for some fucked up reason, but I think that she's going to explode all over Teresa next week. And I think it's done after that. Well, you know, Jacqueline did have a great, she had a great line this week, which is that when I guess they were talking about Joe and Joe and Melissa's house being done with the renovations and Jacqueline goes, oh, her redone house. I guess you can grab it on the redone house. Call back to it was Melissa said up to Teresa, right? Or to Teresa? Yeah. That was a good line. Good for Jacqueline for having a good line. You know, Teresa wants to renew her vows with Joe. What do we do with that? Oh, God, that's delightful. Oh, as long as Melania is the flower girl monster, Tyrannosaurus Rex, I'm all for it. Well, you know, whatever they have, whatever they have parties, it's great. It's always at the kitchen sink thing. They're like, okay, we'll have a sushi bar, and then we'll have someone who's like Mulan Rouge, and then we'll have Tindy and a cage, and we'll have Kim Gee and the COA. I don't want Melania with a knife near some meat. That's awesome. Well, you know, it'd be great, actually. You know, I love Tardy. Don't be Tardy for the wedding. They could do a season two, and they could have Dina be her wedding planner for the val work. Well, if Teresa were smart, she would start butting up with Dina. If Bravo were smart, they'd fucking hire me. You know, Teresa is friends with Dina. That's the problem. That's the father of Adriana or whatever. Yeah, hopefully, Dina maybe Dina can design Teresa's new wedding, and then it can be like prison themed or something. That's Dina's thing. She throws these big theme parties, you know, she could be like, okay, here's a here's like 10 black guys to rate jude eyes before he makes it down the aisle. Well, it's like Alcatraz, it looks like a hallmark store exploded in there. So I just imagine those figurines everywhere. I was telling Ben at the gay wedding, I was, it was really jarring to the system to see those guys house because I was like, this is weird to see a tastefully decorated home on the New Jersey house. I don't know. I mean, it was more tasteful, but it was still I don't know if I'm gonna cut. Yeah, I'm not calling it. It takes a long time. I didn't see any marble columns or it did not look like the money Carlo in Vegas. So therefore, it was nice and refreshing. Yeah, but it was like one of the resorts in Disney World. It looked like the the the the lots of, I forget the one that's a little large. Yeah, yeah, Ben. We don't know the words to it. The name of it, because we haven't been there. You guys were those the touchiest, filiest gay dudes you've ever seen. Oh, I would have barfed at that wedding and I love that Greg was like texting through the wedding or whatever. I know. Why wasn't Greg crying? You've been crying because he was probably embarrassed for the gays. That's why people don't want gay people to get married because that's what you have to sit through for an hour. Every morning when I wake up, I'm so lucky to have someone who loves me. And then the guy is like, I love you. What did he say? Something like, I love looking at you for who you are. That's like calling someone ugly, you know? I think you're beautiful just the way you are. Mark and fat, bald and sweaty, you know? And they were also did anybody know they had some nurse shoes on like that was not a cute outfit. Oh, I didn't notice. I was just paying attention to the fact that everyone was sweating. It looked like the most humid wedding of all time. That was the worst time of the year. I like when he was like, you're what I dreamed of when I was a little boy. Really? You dream of wearing like a skinny, sweaty bald guy. When I was five, I thought that was so hot. By the way, I thought and then the reception, the reception afterwards, Teresa mentioned that her book was on the bestseller. I have to say, even though I hate Teresa, I didn't think there was anything wrong with her announcing that she just got an email. I think that's exciting. Why was Caroline so pissed about that? Because she got that email like five days ago, you know? Oh, that's true. You know, she said that on the plane when there were no cameras there, and then she said it again at dinner. But you got to love Caroline. You and your hat, shut up. I love that that's Caroline's line of defense now. Every time they say anything, she's like, shut up. That kind of works to be honest. I mean, it's like it's true. It's hilarious. It's not a Lauren Manzo for one second. She boss around Vito so much, and she's got such a sour attitude. Like this woman, I know what she's going to be like when she's 45, when she's 50. She's just going to be one of these naggy housewives. I'm sorry. Like, this is just going to be how she is now, but Fuglier. Yeah. Wait, so will she be? No, go ahead. I was going to say, like when they were walking into the wedding, did you notice that she he was a good five feet behind her? Yeah. And she was just like, whatever. Well, she was probably mad because she knows that all she can get the wedding is just egg whites and cocoa powder. No cake for her. Ugly people feel powerful by being mean to somebody. You know, they're like, look, I have somebody to be mean to fuck all you guys. Haven't you been to a mall? It's true. It's very, very true. I guess that's why the gorgas and okeles always has a great time. Although rich, really, he's very nice people and that doesn't make sense. Well, he's like the Aviva. He's like, hey, let's talk about therapy again. Why don't you send another text about some therapies? Oh, but I love that Joe Judas calls Lauren Kathy Bates. Oh, my God. That's right. Yeah. He goes, she's cute. She's cute. She's cute. And she's like, yeah, that's think about Molly Brown. Yeah, she was fat. That's why they couldn't think like, no, that's not why they that's not true, actually. Yeah. Where did you get that? It's like a very positive thing. She's unthinkable. That means she's fat. Why were they? Why were they talking about Titanic? I don't even remember. I don't honestly, I don't remember half the episode because I was a little drunk when I watched it, at least I can attest. He was falling asleep in between sentences. I had a long day. I had a long day. Oh, well, I hope you didn't miss the wakili party scene where Melissa's sister showed up looking exactly like her with identical fake horrible cantaloupe booms. Oh, yeah. And then we got to hear Melissa's new terrible song. Oh, yeah. I like her sister's tattoo. Oh, yeah. It was a great around her belly, right? Or something like that? Or something like that? I don't know. A dragon eating her stomach or something. I don't know. It's poetic. I feel bad. I feel bad for the neighbors. I mean, you just saw the neighbors sitting on the deck like, we're going to fucking kill ourselves. Yeah. I like how they talked about how classy they are. Melissa, we're with fun, but we're classy. That's our motto. And then you see people like drinking fucking whipped cream. Yeah. And then Rosie is dropping the F bomb in front of all the children by the pool. You know, like it's a really classy kind of place. Yeah. And they're like filling a picture after picture with Malibu. That was great. Now look, we have to move on to Orange County because we're running out of time. So let's do that. It was so long ago. My God. But there was still some fun stuff on it, which is that we had to close to, you know, I got to say this, Ben, last week when we did the show, I was complaining about OC, like, Oh, it's so boring this season. But the past few episodes have been so good. Well, it's because Vicki's completely losing her mind. Raging a raging river every single week because the results are fantastic. Yes. Well, you guys, I'm too. I'm still doing those little video redub things of the coming next week previews. And tomorrow. What's tomorrow? When? What is today? Monday? Tuesday. Tuesday. By the time this. So yeah, this will be going up Wednesday. So go to teach Gasm. I'll be putting up a video read up. And I'm going to put a ringer, a telephone ringer up there as a bonus for you guys to download. And it's going to be Vicki, whoo-hooing on the river. No, I won't. Yes. Every single one of them. Oh, thank you. So come to the site and I'll give you a free. We can do it for real. Be my ringtone. Yeah, I'll make it for the iPhone. And then I'll make an mp3 version for. So just come download it from TV, Gasm. And we'll just all use it until I get sued for doing that. I personally would like, I would personally like a ringtone or maybe a text tone to be Vicki saying, guys, it's going to be really sad when one of us dies. I want one of when the, what was it? The newscaster training lady was saying to Alexis. Okay, so those people survived and Alexis goes, oh good. Oh, and the fiber in the fire, the fake fire. The hypothetical people who did not die in the fire. What I love about these women is that we have a whole different type of immaturity going on with these women where you have this whole drama about who Alexis lets in to her cabin of tears, you know, like. And then all of a sudden Vicki's best friends with her now. Now look, I understand it. Look, I know that we're supposed to have fun here and we're supposed to talk, you know, about light and fluffy things. But I am mad at Gretchen and Tamara. And I really am now Team Alexis. What is wrong with me? No, I'm not Team Alexis, but I'm not Team Tamara. I'm on Team none of them. I'm on Team Heather. So here's the thing. I mean, I was on Team Alexis at this point when Gretchen went to her cabin and Gretchen goes, oh my God, you don't know how hard this is for me. I love that. That is my favorite. You guys all just attacked this poor dumb girl. It's like you just took a fawn and stabbed it with a knife. Yeah, but you see, that's what these housewife shows do. They make you crazy with these insipid women and then the women get called out on it and everyone else is the asshole. Ronnie Ronnie, this is a different story. Tamara is a vile disgusting evil fucking monster bitch. Nobody. Nobody in any of the housewives lands and franchises has ever been just a nasty fucking evil person like Tamara Barney. Yeah, yeah. But she's still funnier than Alexis to me. Yes, she is. I mean, if she's dead on what she's saying about Alexis, but you know, no, she's not because you know what? At the end of that fight where she's all fucking mean to her, then she goes over and gives her a hug. Guess what? You still fucking hate her. Don't give her a hug. I was shocked about that. It was fought back and said to Tamara, you know what? You're saying all these horrible things and how I need to change it. You need to look in the fucking mirror, bitch, because you should change, you know, your nasty attitude because you're a hateful person. It's so true. Well, you said that in much better English than Alexis. Yeah, I didn't even realize that's what she was saying. Yeah, I just heard like a perspective. I just heard Dino from the Flintstones. Could not be my ringtone. I don't know how I want to look at that. Well, you have to admit though, Alexis though, she's no innocent person. When they were all awkwardly crammed in a van the very next morning, and Alexis goes and Pat's Vicki on the shoulder and says, "Thanks for coming into my cabin last night." She should have done that. But Gretchen came in and talked about herself. Surprise, surprise. So you know what? I have no problem with Alexis doing that passive-gressive pat on Vicki, and I also love how in Vicki's conventional she goes, "Well, you know what? I didn't throw my best friend under the bus." Did I? No. I'm amazing. I'm still mad at Brianna right now. So you guys are slain and Gretchen. They're not broken up in real life, are they? Are they still together? As of Easter, I actually saw them at an Easter service, so I don't know. What? I think that he gave us a drink. Oh, sorry. No, I was just going to ask if Jesus was bleeding more than usual out of his eyes. I was like, "You guys know this is a church, right?" Jesus is like... Gretchen, it was an Orange County church, so it's like, there's like a rock band and like a play, and all this cricket. See, things that Jesus like hanging up there and it's underwear every week is like a beacon tour, you know? Yeah, Jesus is into alt-rock. Jesus like, I resurrected myself for this. I just turned like this into Jackie Mason, by the way. Jesus is the go-go boy. I'm totally going to his church. Oh, yeah. The Gretchen and Slade stuff is my favorite because it's just such a train wreck. There's no way he's gonna like redeem himself at all. Well, aren't you guys hearing that Bravo wants her to dump him because they're think that he's dragging her down and they kind of want her to be out there single and looking for other dudes and the funny thing is like, I actually think that he did end up buying her like a shitty promise ring of some sorts, but Bravo, Bravo wants him out of the picture. Yeah, I was reading, I'm sure they've wanted him out for years, but I was reading on Stupid Housewives that the next storyline for her is that they're broken up and she's living single, like you just said, Matt, and I'm wondering if they're really going to go that far and fake a whole storyline of her dating when she's still with Slade? I don't know. I think that, I think at the end of the season, I mean, I'm sure that they are fabricating things for the current season surprise surprise, but I think at the end of the year, they're really going to sit her down and go, look, honey, you want to stay on this show? Get rid of him. I mean, they might make that ultimatum. There is no doubt in my mind that she will take the show over Slade. Yeah, but they have learned nothing with Taylor Armstrong because that's what happened to her. They say that's why Russell killed himself because they were like, listen, honey, if your husband's going to be causing all this trouble, you know, you guys are out. And so she starts him with the worst papers. Slade, Slade loves himself way too much to go kill himself. Yeah. Oh my God, right? I just love that we have now witnessed Slade having to go to therapy, couples therapy for two relationships for women that he was never married to. Jesus, you're on that couch a lot, buddy. Did you guys, I wasn't here last week, but did you guys talk about him getting a radio show? Did you hear about this? No, we haven't heard the show yet, though. I mean, imagine that it's actually, honestly, while we're podcasting, it's actually airing right now as we speak. It is? Yeah, we have more listeners. We have more listeners. What channel? I think it's 927. Formerly, Jill FM. Now it's playlist. Oh, are they talk again? I thought that they know it's still like, it's still music for divorces, but he has like a show, I think at noon and he's on for like an hour and he plays music and he talks about gossip and whatever. If I had like a radio, I was just going to say who still owns a radio. Who has a radio that can turn it on right now? Well, I have it in my car, but I don't have one in real life. I'm an only my car. Maybe we can get the, maybe we can we can get it to stream. It's going to turn into a robot. Yeah, don't give it. Don't give him a Nielsen rating, please. Yeah, I feel bad even bringing you that. I'm sorry. Skinny girl margaritas. Yeah. And I got one other crazy thing about Vicki because there was about 90 things. What did you guys think after they went white router rafting with she was sobbing at the lunch table and going like, if Don wanted me, I'd go back. She pretty much was just like, yeah, I want to go get it with Don. And I mean, does that mean that the Brooks love tank is empty? Like what's going on? It means that Vicki is not getting enough attention. And so she she's not going to get it through Brianna. So she's going to get it. You know, she was the one who fucked up everything with Don. I mean, granted, he told her dumb bitch a lot for my taste, but it's or it is Orange County. And he basically threw his ass away. And now that he has cancer and she could actually have more camera time, she's upset that she's not with him by also to I think she also I think she I think she might be I wonder if she's like menopausal or there's a lot going on with this woman at this point in time. I mean, she's 90s. So menopause again was. Sometimes when you have a near death experience with piranhas, you reflect a little bit. And that's what she did. She was around some piranhas. Her hair was curly all of a sudden. She the truth is her rock. Her rock is Brianna. Brianna has always been her rock. Things are not well with Brianna. So she's looking to Don and thinking about that. And the thing is, she she know, she she did screw it up with Don. And also, I think this was like her little opportunity to be on camera saying everyone thinks poor Don poor Don. But you know, there was other stuff going on when there really wasn't. Well, he was he was caught in some swingers club, like having sex with multiple people, right? Yeah, but then Brianna caught Vicki. He was caught when Vicki walked in, I'm sure having amorous emails with brooks, right? Whatever, I'm still I'm team Don and nothing makes me happier on Orange County than when Brianna gives it back to her mother and makes Vicki feel like a shitty mom because that is TV fucking gold. It is well deserved. Yeah, well deserved. I'm team Heather at this point. Really, she's the only I was just gonna I was just gonna bring up Heather. You know, it's funny. We've been talking for about 15 minutes about Orange County, and we haven't talked about Heather because she's boring and pointless. Matthew, I can't believe you. I thought you weren't her biggest fan, baby. Ben is her biggest fan. I never boarded that train because she seems like she's vaguely smart. She's got an she's got a nice husband. I don't like that she's saying champs because the slang is champers like I'm bringing the champers. It's not. Yeah. And both are really 2006. And she's and as is her face, but you know, there's something about her where the one thing I think that's annoying is that she can't you do get the feeling that she too thinks that she's the Carrie Bradshaw of this cast and she's not, but she's late. She's late. She got rich later in life, so she's still learning the terms, but she someone was writing us about God, what was it? Let me hold on. I'm sorry interrupted. And then I'm like, okay. But it was about her husband. He was a plastic surgeon on the swan. And on that show, bridal plastic. And on bridal plastic. And he is a reality. Ronnie, we've lost you. So you're back. Not her. I think I just heard so many on my name. Yeah, because you made you made a point and you disappeared during the most. Ronnie was making the point that he, her husband is no stranger to reality television. He's been on two series. The one was the swan and I saw him on bridal plastic. And he had a lot of FaceTime on bridal plastic. Yeah. So he's the one who wanted to do that show. So it's no wonder that she's not making up fake drama. And she's not she's actually kind of a sane person because she's not really meant to be on that show. And that's also why they show him so much. I'm sure. He also probably seems to be doing it smartly in that, you know, if to get back to the whole brand issue, he actually does have a brand as a doctor. And he's probably driving interest towards his practice. Right. I do like her in the way that I like a Michael Bluth in the situation where when Vicki starts sobbing and she Heather goes, but guess what? We're all okay. Everyone's fine now. We're not dying. We're gonna go over there and we're here. Heather's like her. Like Heather Heather would never make sense on a show by herself. We all know that. But I think that when in the context of the craziness, it's fun to me to have a sane person in the middle of all the insanity. She bores the shit out of me and all I can say is my heart is racing with excitement because Gina Kiho comes back into the fold next week. Oh, really? Oh fucking yes. Yes. But she's just a temp, right? Someone yells at her and then it's done. She and Tamara get into a fight again. I want her to be dating Don. Oh, shut up. That's genius. Right? I really wish she was back on the show. I miss her. She was my she's like one of my all time faves. And I think that asshole son. Oh, yes. In Canada or where? I like that she was like abused by everybody in her life. I thought that was true. I love that she suffered like physical. I mean, I'm sorry. That's what we'll say. I don't know what you mean. It's like nobody fucking gave her like any respect. She brought Dangerfield of the show. Yeah, I love that. I love that. She was mentally abused. She's not better. You guys have a grotto. We gotta start wrapping up. Are there any other odds and ends we want to discuss before we wrap up this show. Do you want to talk about the the new summer by Bravo commercial, which is like Olympic theme with the Madonna song? Yes. I think that Bravo Andy is fucking the guy from Million Dollar Listing, LA. The really that is held a brand new one, Madison, because he gets so much camera time in that. And it's all about his naked body. And also in the watch, what happens live thing where they had all the Bravo people on there. I thought that he was fucking him too, because that guy had so much screen time. He was sitting up there on the stage. And he barely ever says anything even on that show. They're fucking, you heard it here first. Well, you know, Patty Stanger set up Madison Hill to brand on an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker. And it never worked out. So I think that Andy swooped in and by swooped in, I mean, did him. Yeah, I'll bet that they go to dinner and fight over who's going to have to be on the bottom that night. Well, I should just got real. I think the commercial, by the way, I think that in terms of the commercial, it just can't compare to last year's. I thought last year's with the Britney Spears song was Summer Camp theme. This Madonna song is a little too kind of mellow. It's like a little wall. Well, Madonna kind of sucks. Yeah, it's kind of want loss. This one's kind of tired, kind of like a slow feeling to it. It's just like, it's like, it's like, hold on, but it's dying inside. Yeah, it's like, I want to think about young, fun drugs that kids did in the 90s to pretend that I'm not 55. Shut up, Donna. All I want to say is I like seeing I'm glad like I just, I always get nervous that Tabitha's going to get cut from the lineup. But I always like seeing her because I always reassures that her show is coming back. Yeah, and it makes me want flipping out to return ASAP. I know I need me now. And Chef Robley made it into the into the commercial. Which is ridiculous. Like Chef Robley and company. And Stupid Cat Cora. Ben, are you still watching around the world and 80 plates? It's so dumb. I'm not I'm not loving it. I'm not loving it. I have to say I'm I'm seeing you. Are you like ready for like a fresh like top chef or top chef? Well, top chef master starts soon. Boring. Well, let's say keep it the same way. If I like to change how they made it like the real top chef. Well, I like the star system. You know, I also saw a commercial last night with Andy Cohen in it. It was they're having this like, some commercial for the source. And I'm not talking about like the hip hop magazine. It's like some. Oh God, that Bravo. What is that like a Bravo web series or something? I don't know what it is. But but Andy Cohen popped up and he looked like he was holding a watch. What happens board game? Is this what's coming into our life next to watch? Oh God, help us. Have you guys seen what we're talking about? It's these commercials for they're doing some time with Bravo where they've got some online storyline going on with somebody named Chloe. And every time I hear it, I think of Chloe Kardashian and I'm like, please, Bravo, don't do this to me. But it's not. It's a made up girl named Chloe your life. Look at their likes. No sense. Find out what Chloe does next. Find out what Chloe does with their hair. I would say body gives a shit. And I'm going to be honest with you. Like, you know, the way I feel about Bethany. Andy Cohen is right on the brink for me too. Like, I am sick of this shit. Just go sit in the clubhouse and do it. Oh my God. When he showed up as an uncooked bacon on the Miss America, I was done with that. I know it's officially over sad. We don't need Miss America. We don't need you on four or five nights a week. We don't give a fuck about your, but like, please calm down. Reel it back. Otherwise, you were going to be done with me or I'm going to be done with you the way I'm with Bethany. Yeah. I want to be more than welcome. Yeah, he's more than welcome. And I feel like everybody's every network is so proud of themselves by putting such a flamer on their TV. Like, Oh, we're not we're not big. It's everybody. Okay, you know what? Tone it down. Tone it down. We both hear you NBC. Okay, we believe the as our biggest. Now, get that piece of bacon off my TV. Ronnie is wearing a moo and shouting from his porch. I'm shaking a fist for those heavens. Hey, you and your hat. Shut up. Do it a little bit. We have to wrap it up. This was a really fun time. Good to have the gang back and to have you here, Lisa. That's always lovely. So thanks everyone for listening. Everyone say your Twitter is Matt. What's your Twitter? @life on the M list. And Lisa. I am. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. He's doing a lady's first thing at Timmons Lisa. And Ronnie. I am at TV gas. Oh my. And I'm at TV. Oh, sorry. I'm at TV. Sorry. Yeah, come to TV gas. Someone watch my readups. Come on, everybody. And get the ringtone. And everyone, keep listening. You can subscribe to us on iTunes. You can listen to us on the side show network. And everyone, just have a swell week. We'll see you next week. Yeah, everybody. Bye. Bye. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who will fight like hell to keep you out of jail? We defend and we fight just like you want your own children to defend it. Whether you're facing a drug charge caught up on a murder app, accused of committing war crimes, look no further than Paul Bergren. All the big guys go to Bergren because he gets everybody off. You name it, Paul can do it. 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