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That's Audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. ♪ Money can't buy your class ♪ ♪ Money can't buy your class ♪ ♪ And it against his learn, my friends ♪ ♪ And it against his learn, oh yeah ♪ - Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crap Is, a podcast dedicated to all things Bravo brought to you by the Side Show Network. My name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo, and joining me as always are my boys Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam, say hello boys. - Hello. - Hello. - Wow, we're boys, do we have a Z at the end of the boys? - You definitely have a Z at the end because that's how they would do it in Jersey. - Good, I'm wearing my hot pants, so this really works. (laughing) - Well, before we get started, we are gonna talk about the Real Housewives of New Jersey episode, I believe, for last night. We have the Real Housewives of Orange County, we have Don't Be Tardy for the Wedding, and even a new show on Bravo this week premiered around the world in 80 plates, which is like their big gamble, 'cause it's the most expensive show they've ever produced. But before we get to all of those disasters, let's talk some housewives gossip. Do you guys have anything? 'Cause I have a few little nuggets here. - I've got no nuggets, and I'm hoping that when you said nugget, that was a callback to Tamara's grandchild that never was. (laughing) Do you remember that? I don't remember that nugget? - Too soon, too soon. (laughing) - I've got nothing. I wanna hear, I wanna hear gossip. - No, I don't, I actually don't have any gossip this week. I've been concentrating on Twitter, like actually playing around on that, because I'm kind of old, and I don't understand how all that stuff works. So this week, I was like, that's it. I'm gonna figure it out, and I would just lay in bed all day on my cell phone, looking at Twitter feeds, and I made really good lists, so anybody can go to my TV gasm Twitter feed and steal all my lists, but they're all the housewife lists, and they're really good, you guys. They're very comprehensive. And so, once you put, I'm sure you guys already know how to work Twitter, but once-- - I'm really excited to hear what this is doing. (laughing) - It's not me, I'm already really fascinated by your list name in Twitter. - Well, I made a lot of lists, and so you can just press that list and see all the tweets from Matt. And last night, I just laid in bed and read all the tweets from all the different housewives and some of their husbands. Just going, those women are so rude. I mean, you're all fucking Twitter. I cannot believe they're even fighting like that on Twitter. And then you've got Jill Zarin, who still tweets everybody. She's like, "Hi, Julia Roberts, let's have lunch one day." Hey, Kristen Chenoweth, I am so sorry about your show "Getting Cancelled." Hugs! Hi, President Obama, congrats on the gay thing. It's like, "Shut up, Jill Zarin." Anyway, and you guys wonder why we're all single. (laughing) - I actually, I don't wonder at all. I was laying there in my holy underwear looking at my boobs and my iPad. I wasn't wondering. - I'm not single, those are his girlfriends. This is like sister one. (laughing) - That's very true. Jill Zarin is all of our girlfriends. - I've got a very large hand in an iPad. That's all I need. - Okay, on that note, I would like to bring underwear. - On that note, I do have a nugget, which I don't think that she wears holy underwear, but she is kind of a hooker. Shane Llamis rumored to be joining the Real Housewives of Orange County for season eight. - Oh, how gross is that, you guys? - That's, they don't need, they don't need her. Why are they going to Shane Llamis? - Well, I don't know, I mean, you know, I'm reading this on Wikipedia and who knows if that's the truth. But, you know. - But, I kind of think that Wikipedia is the real news. - But that is real. If it's on Wikipedia, it's real. - Come on, you guys, prove it wrong. - Well, okay, so anyway. - So this citation has been added. - It's probably written by Shane Llamis. - That's what I'm getting at. Like Lorenzo could have just been bored today and like popped it up there, but it says season eight, Shane Llamis is joining the cast. Now, I don't know if anybody is leaving the cast, but you know, she definitely does have a reality show background. She did win the Bachelor, and she also was on that terrible Llamis show, leave it to Llamis, and by terrible, I mean, I loved it. - Yeah. - Wait a second, I watched that show. So, is this the daughter or his ex-wife? - No, this is the daughter, the hot blonde daughter. - Oh, I was gonna say, because that old purse could not win the Bachelor. I thought you were talking about the ex-wife. Oh, so it's the young Bimbo kind of girl? Why would she be on it? - She's like knocking on 30. She pretends that she's like a model, but she's not really tall enough, and she's all looking for love. - Oh, I don't know about that. She was pretty stupid. - Yeah, she's really dumb. - Don't you think she's also too young? Like, I don't wanna see, you know, like 27-year-olds like rumbling with Vicki. Like, that's just not fun for me. - And yet, that's sort of what the show is all about, isn't it? - Well, I guess, I mean, but like Gretchen is not in her 20s, Tamar is certainly not in her 20s. I don't know, I just, I think it'd be weird if the show like goes young again. And I know that when we got started, Joe Dilarosa was, you know, much younger than these women, but like, I like to see old ladies fight. - Yeah, I have to say, I do sort of like old ladies, 'cause they're sort of like hanging on to something, you know? - Yeah, they're fighting it. - They don't have much left, you know? They're going through the change. Things are sagging. - Yeah, I think it's definitely more fun with old ladies because, you know, they brought Brandy Glamble on Beverly Hills. And I liked her, I thought she was pretty fun. But the reason she was fun was because she was such white trash and she was young compared to the other ladies. But it was kind of annoying 'cause it was like, she was always getting in trouble by the old ladies, you know? It's like she was always getting smacked down by the older ladies. - Right, because it's-- - You need to have like a young and in there to get the old ladies like insecure, you know? - That's true with when it comes to looks, but at the same time, I totally get what Ronnie was saying, or it's just like, you know, as much as we love Lisa, but she's, you know, wearing her pantyhose and her, you know, her hand is on her hip of her pants suit and Brandy walks in all nipping out. And it's just kind of like, there's clearly like a generational difference here. And it just a seem kind of like the old ladies are like, who are these whipper snappers? - Well, I think more of the issue is the fact that the older women tend to have a little bit more going on in their lives, just in general, like, shit, like Shane Llamis, I mean, what does she, what could she possibly have gone on her life? She'll be like, remember Lori's daughters who are like sitting around like working for some sort of like-- - Oh, sea energy girl drinks? - Yeah, I mean, like that's what she'll be doing. She'll be like, well, I'm gonna try to get my acting career together, you know? And it's like, there's gonna be no substance, not that any of these women have a lot of substance, but there's like, there's usually something going on. And Shane Llamis, I guarantee you, like, she's got nothing going on. Not even like a trip to the guy now will be interesting with her. - I went to go see Cacoon for Jessica Tandy, not Steve Gutenberg. I want old, old ladies. And that Llamis girl is dumb as a brick. I watched her on that Llamis show, and it was embarrassing to the youth of America. - Yeah, okay, well look, we don't know that it's necessarily true, 'cause again, I was reading this on Wikipedia four minutes ago, but I'm saying it's breaking news. - Well, it is breaking news, and it's broken me. I'll tell you that much. - Okay, the only other thing I wanted to bring up quickly before we move on to Jersey is Andy Cohen. He is everywhere this week because his new book, Most Talkative, is out for sale right now. I think that he's actually, he has a book party tonight, I believe in West Hollywood, at least a vendor pumps Sir, which, you know, we should clearly go crash after we get off this podcast. - Crash, you mean you didn't get an invite also? - I didn't get an invite, sorry, but anyway, the weird thing is his book is getting amazing reviews, and yes, clearly it could be all the PAs on Watch What Happens Live, like signing into Amazon, but it actually is getting, you know, it's being well received. - What are they saying about it? - Well, they're saying that it's actually like kind of heartwarming in the sense that the beginning of the book is talking about him growing up in St. Louis, and, you know, being in the closet and having, you know, to struggle with all of that, and, you know, struggle with being cross-eyed, but I don't know. I mean, do we care about Andy Cohen? Like, do I need to, like, cry for Andy Cohen, because he's so rich, and all he does is hank this to be? - Well, I think people actually do like him, and they probably will read this on the beach and whatever. - My favorite part of that, that news cycle, was that he was thinking of quitting the housewives to become a real talk show host, and that, wow, I just-- - Hilarious stuff. - I hope that that's mine. - Yeah, I mean, I just, you God bless him, 'cause the guy actually does seem really nice, so every time I slam him, I do feel kind of bad, like, not that anyone cares what I think anyway, but I feel kind of bad because he seems so nice, but God, that guy's terrible at what he does, he's just terrible, like, get him out of there, but I'm, you know, he seems pretty nice. - He's improved a lot, though, but, grudgingly, I must say that, but-- - Yeah, but here's the thing, Ben, as he's improved, we've also started to, like, get a little tired of him, and do we need him on five nights a week, so at the same time, it's just kind of like, has he, you know, jumped the shark? Are we kind of done? Like, shouldn't he just go back to, like, one or two days a week? - You know, I can barely watch a full episode of Watch What Happens, so, like, to say, like, she'd go back to, like, two times a week, like, I would prefer, like, a five-minute interstitial than my older show, I think that would, I would be fine with just that. - You mean, that's-- - The 40-minute mark in the show where we get, like, a one-second clip of, like, Alexis doing something stupid with her children, why don't we just replace that with a brief Andy Cohen interlude? - Yeah, why not? And then it'll get cut off at the end, the way all his other, like, all his other promos are. He's like, "So we'll be here all that!" And you're like, "Okay, well, he still doesn't have "the timing down, that's okay." But that being said, I mean, if you look about where the show is, when it first started, it was the biggest train wreck ever. He would sit there, remember, he would sweat, like, crazy. He would have, like, sweat dripping down his forehead. More awkward pauses than he can even imagine. And now there's only, like, a few awkward pauses and not much sweat, so good for him. - That's true, that's true. Well, we'll give him some credit, but I do think that we should possibly consider, you know, buying the book and then maybe doing a little book club so that we can-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait, we have to read that now. We have to read something. - Yes, it does require reading. I guarantee you there will be lots of photos. - I don't know how to read anymore, okay? I watch, every time, every time I watch these shows, I lose, like, a word for my brain. - I'm not following my vocabulary decreases a little bit. - To be honest, I actually did get the book on CD at work, so you can listen to it. - On CD. - Yes. - Wait, but is he reading it? - He is reading it. - Oh my God, that's hilarious. - Okay, well, we might have to consider, like, partaking slightly so that we can talk to our lovely listeners out there right now, because if they're listening to us babble right now, half of them must be listening to Andy Cohen's book on CD. I can only imagine what his book on CD must sound like. He'll be like, "You guys, growing up is really hard. "I had to be gone." - Oh my God. - But it was so fun. (laughs) I had so much hair, oh my God. - I will say this, I did get free from work the Patty Stanger book on CD, and it kind of changed my world. - Why do they keep sending these books on CDs? Who listens to books on CDs anymore? Like CDs. - Who reads? - I know. Why do they even have this medium, okay? - They just leave us in a box. - I read diet books and self-help books to go to sleep. (laughs) - Please tell me, please tell me one of those books is not Bethany Frankl's, any one of Bethany Frankl's books, to be honest. - You mean, like, skinny dipping? Starring with-- - No. - No, that's a novel. - No, that's a novel. - That's a novel, whatever her name is. Faith Brightstone, anyway. - I don't need to read about complaining, too. I'm like, I try and get away from that in my book, 'cause I like reading, like, how you're only supposed to eat protein or, you know, like Buddha quotes. That shit puts me right to sleep. - You know whose books you need to borrow? Gigi's from the Shahs of Sunset, because her book library had every amazing self-help book ever published. - I have most of those. - And they all smell like pomegranate seeds. (laughs) - What? - Persian cuisine. - They smell like pomegranate seeds. - I'm in water, please get it together. - That's awesome. - That's awesome. - That's awesome. - All right, well, let's move on. We need to move on to the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Again, it was episode four on Sunday night, and again, Teresa, you know, piss people off. I don't know how anybody can be on her team, but before we get to her discussion with her brother, Joe, which was at the end of the episode, let's start things off, let's start with Caroline, because mama is sweating profusely. - Well, she's going through menopause. - That's awesome. - You know what, I guess I feel bad for anybody who's going through menopause, 'cause that's a lot of shit to deal with. But listen, bitch, I do not want to hear about any, I don't even want to know you have sex. I know she didn't go too far into it, but please, please. Enough, Joe and Joe, midget Joe and fat blown up midget Joe are enough. - Well, I don't mind when Joe Gorga talks about sex. I mind more when Joe Judas talks about sex, and I mind the most when Caroline talks about sex. But at least she's the only one of all these people who says, you know what, my sex life is personal, and I don't need to be talking about it. Thank you. - Yeah. - As opposed to Theresa. - Yeah, but that's typical Caroline saying, I don't talk about it, after she just told us they kept a private apartment to fuck, and then we had to watch her husband squeeze her vagina and make her sniff her finger. - Thank you, because they showed them walking into their sex shack, and I'm sorry, right? You could just start smelling it. - That's typical Caroline, like, oh, I don't talk about sex after I just put that image in your head. I don't start fights after she just started a fight, whatever. - I was just shocked that their little love shack didn't have, like, wasn't full of, like, checkerboard accessories, you know, like, oh, am I the one who noticed that in her kitchen that everything's checkerboard? She does love a checkerboard in a regular house. - It drives me nuts. I noticed, as soon as I said that, that you guys were silent, like, you had no idea why I was on the other boards. - I've never noticed that. - Look at it now, she's got, like, little jars and, like, I think her back splash, it's, like, checkerboard on everything, and it drives me nuts. - It's very cracker barrel. - Yeah, it is very cracker barrel. It's like-- - It's very brownstone. - Very, very, very Marshall's home section. - Yeah, that's actually exactly what it is. She found, like, a set somewhere at Marshall's and, hey, I'm not bashing Marshall's, but-- - No, but, you know, actually, it's a passion for people. - People who have a jagged Marshall's, like, fuck you, get your Range Rover out the Marshall's, okay? - Well, let's talk about this. If you're having, you know, some menopause issues, like, you know, we go through tough things in our lives, but nobody's buying me an 80 fucking $1,000 Jaguar to get over it. - Listen, this is the same family-- - Oh, that's the least if I've ever seen one. - Yeah, this family, by the way, their whole thing is that they just throw very fancy cars at problems. So, like, when Ashley, like, failed in life, they gave her a Jeep Wrangler, and then they took it away and then they gave it back to her, and now Caroline is failing in menstruation so that she gets a nice car. - I don't, on her husband, it's probably doing a helicopter on his wiener for, like, how many hookers up in that private room? - I was just saying-- - You know he's doing something wrong if he bought her a jack. - Thank you, I mean, I'm sorry, but there is no way that Albert is not getting some on the side from, like, the wait staff at the Brownstone. - Yeah, no, you never know, allegedly, right? - Allegedly, okay, Caroline was fairly interested. - If this was real life, and a woman got a jack from her husband for no reason, we would see some investigation, we could see some email stalking. There still needs to be more realistic, damn it. (laughing) - I'm glad you brought that up, that's a good point to have. (laughing) - Yes, nice, go on. - Okay, so can we start? But Matt, can we talk about Theresa now because-- - No. - You made a comment that you said you don't understand how anybody's on her side. - No, we can't talk about her yet. - Why not? All right, we'll have a special break. You guys will hear how I'm on her side. - Well, I want to, like, clearly Ronnie's getting upset, so I want to let it stew for a second. So before we talk about Kathy's tragic party where she has no friends, let's quickly-- (laughing) - Excuse me, can you please stop using the internet while you're trying to talk robot? - Yeah, every time Ronnie serves on the internet, his voice becomes a robot, and he's outed, he's outed to us. - Sorry, everything's off now. - Okay, so quickly, before we move on to that party, let's quickly talk about Jacqueline's awkward Skype conversation with Ashley who now lives in Las Vegas. - Okay, so Jacqueline, I'm sorry. People are like, "Oh, team Jacqueline, she's so nice." You know what, she's a terrible mother, I'm sorry. - Terrible. - You know, she gets on there and she starts making snide jokes about how she-- - Well, you know, at first I didn't really miss you, but then it's like, why would you say that? Even if it's like a sarcastic joke, like-- - It wasn't a joke. - It wasn't a joke. - She's, I mean, she's being generous. She hates Ashley, and Ashley is deserving of all that. - She's saying these things to her daughter on national TV, and it's like, that's humiliating for Ashley. Not that Ashley, I mean, look, Ashley's humiliating for mankind, okay? - That bitch is getting a paycheck, don't cry for her. - Who's getting a paycheck, Ashley? - Ashley's getting a paycheck too, they're all-- - I'm saying, like, if Jeff is in your wondering, "Where did I go wrong, where did I go wrong?" Where you went wrong is talking shit about your daughter on TV. - She didn't go wrong anywhere because she was smart, and she married a rich dude who gave her two new babies a glamorous house and a glamorous lifestyle, and if that means Ashley has to, you know, fall by the wayside as Jacqueline climbs that mountain, so be it, because guess what? Not everybody comes like that mountain. - That dog agrees with you. - Yeah, Bueller totally agrees with that. Well, I think she's a horrible mother because she skips in to her, the sister-in-law of hers, he was like 12 years old, by the way. - Yeah. - What was that? - We did not know this. - So she's got some to this young chick. He's like, hold on, Ashley's finishing that house she's building for children in Africa. We're just, you know, reassembling it to ship it off at the post office. Be right back, and Jackie's like, "Oh my God, she's doing important." Yeah, it's called fucking discipline. Someone is making your daughter earn her key. That girl was actually doing something. - Oh, please. - She's actually researching. - You are crazy. In the background, they didn't show it, but like clearly Ashley was just sitting in the background with her colored pencils, trying to draw, you know, a new logo for Lauren Manzo's face. - Oh. (laughs) That face, it's gonna be around. I'm telling you, faced by Lauren Manzo's gonna take over. - Oh yeah, I'm sure. - Now, here's the thing with Jacqueline, that sort of annoyed me in last night's episode. It was not really her fault, it's Bravo's fault. They start talking about Dina, Dina Manzo, and Jacqueline says, "Well, you know, "Dina and I aren't talking." And they don't explain. And like, how do they not explain that? Like, I am very curious to know what the hell is going on. Do they have to know why they're not talking? - Well, I honestly think that like, it's something that's like really deep-seated between like Caroline and Dina, and I feel like Caroline said something to Bravo in her contract and was like, "If you want me back, I'm the matriarch of this show, "blah, blah, blah, if you want me, "there will be no full disclosure "on the Dina scary situation that's going on." And it's pissing me off because clearly, it's the juiciest thing going on. - Yeah, and they've been mentioning it. I mean, you know, since season one, this has been going on. This has been going on when Caroline pointed at Danielle and was like, you know, at the reunion, and it was like, you know what you did, blah, blah, blah, and the rumors about Lexi at that time. And now, and then at the last reunion that we had, Caroline mentioned that she and Dina are in a fight, but we didn't get any clarification on that, like-- - Well, look, we have to take solace in the fact that in the preview for the entire season, we did see that Dina does appear. So that right there alone is making me super hard. - Well, whoa. Wow. And I thought Ronnie was the one with the holy pants right now. - You cannot tell me you're not super excited to get some Dina in the mix. I mean, the hairless cat might be making a cameo. - Well, this is really tempting me to make a dirty joke to go alongside your proclamation of the fact that you're hard, but I will not mention that you're having a hairless pussy in the process. - Oh, god. - I know, well, Matt started it, Matt started it, okay? - Both of you, I just heard everybody do now. - I was talking about a cat, okay? - It was a euphemism. - I was talking about a cat. I was talking about grandma wrinkles. - Okay, before we move on to the pool party spectacular, which was so not spectacular, we just have to say one last thing, Jacqueline's trainer go. - Oh, well-- - Wait a second. What was this Jacqueline's trainer? Where did we see her? I was popping popcorn through part of it. - Oh, she came over to help Jacqueline and Teresa do like a workout session together, and the Bravo cameras kept pointing to her purse, which had a screw top bottle of wine just laying in it. - Oh, but she's the one that was playing a video game on the phone? - She's probably the one that put Lauren Manzo on that serial diet 3C, you know, okay? - She actually reminded me of myself when we did our live podcast, and I showed up with a screw bottle of skinny girl cocktails in my bag, so my man purse always has a bottle of alcohol. I'm not judging her, but I thought she was hilarious because she was clearly drunk while she was trying to train them. - Yeah, classic jersey, I suppose. - Yeah, normally that's so classy. - Yeah, normally everyone's like really like the epitome of professionalism, so it's kind of shocking that this trainer would come in. - But before we move on from Dean, I would like to point out that any time anybody on this show finds success, everybody else starts hating them. - That's true. - So I don't think that Dina probably did all that much. Caroline is a jealous cow, and she brings all the other little hags along with her. - So was Caroline that upset that Dina got a terrible one season HGTV program that got canceled? - It didn't get canceled. - Is it still on? - She just tweeted, she's on my jersey list, you guys. She just tweeted, I think yesterday she's like, wow, just finished another event, and we really did ourselves this time. I can't wait for you guys to see it. So I think that means she's still doing your stupid parties. - Has anyone actually seen that show? - Yeah, I have, I saw the first one. - Yeah, I watched part of the first season, it was terrible. - She doesn't, it's always amused me that she had interior designer as one of her many titles, and her house was a disaster. Her house was the biggest hoarder shithole I have ever seen. - Well, this isn't really a design show, it's more of a party planning show. So she's organizing, like they love to go by like 299 baskets from TJ Maxx and like put magazines on them. - Yeah, she's really mean to everybody about their homes. She's like, that is hideous. What were you thinking when you bought that? That is embarrassing, get it out. - So that makes me wanna watch it. - It's like it's my mom's, it was my mom's before she died. And she's like, well, your mother has terrible taste. Put it in the garage, get it out of my face. - There's no way, there's no way I would ever let a cast member from the Real Housewives of New Jersey tell me what looks good and what looks bad. Okay, these people when they're in their home, they are idiots. - This from the guy who accessorizes with a Zack Morris cell phone in his living room. - Zack Morris, the Zack Morris cell phone, I moved into my bedroom, so they're good. So there, I guess I have a classy apartment now, don't I? - I'm jealous, I want the, if you die, the only thing I want is that cell phone. - Well, too bad, it's been entrusted to the Smithsonian. - Well, it wasn't Dina. Dina was the one who went on that show from the fat guy who designed for drag queens on Project Runaway, Chris March. - Chris March. - You went on Chris March, March is shown, she's like, I need an outfit for something very important. I forgot what it was. And he made it out of street pavement. It was like rocks. (laughing) It was like some kind of really thick sandpaper. Oh my gosh, she was just fuming. It was amazing. - Caroline's like, it needs more checkerboard. Needs more checkerboard. - Yeah, it's like laying a pothole skank. - Do we ever gonna be able to talk about this pool party? Are you gonna talk about the pool party? - Let's talk about the pool party, which was highlighted by Rosie's belly flop. - That's all that really mattered. - And the guy's totally making fun of her. - At the kids. - Yeah, that was the best part. Honestly, I could have had just that one moment and the show would have been a success for me. - Okay, well, let me ask you guys this. Do you think that Caroline and Jacqueline bitched out of the party because they didn't wanna interfere? Are they wanted to have a drama-free zone for Joe and Teresa to talk or do they-- - I don't think it was-- - Really not good friends with Kathy? Like, why were they not there? - I don't even think it's as altruistic as that they wanna like leave space for these people to get back together. If anything, they love to meddle and make people have conversations. They probably just punked out because they're like, God, Teresa's such a fucking bitch. I don't wanna see her face. - I don't think so. I think Caroline didn't go because of the kids and she was probably afraid they'd all leave her babysitting them or something. - That's true. - Like they didn't Italy or on that boat or wherever they were. - She doesn't hate those kids. - And I think that Jackie didn't go because she was afraid and she should be that she was gonna get her ass in trouble if she had to be around both those women at one time 'cause they were gonna put her right on the spot and make her explain herself. - I really, by the way, I was really amused by Kathy who was trying to instigate a talk between Teresa and Joe who continued to feud. And Kathy says, "You know, I don't really wanna be "in the middle, but you know, I would like "to be the glue for this conversation." Like, what the fuck do you think glue is? It's something that goes in the middle of two things together. What the fuck do you think? I love you, Kathy. - She's like, "I don't wanna be in the middle, "but I'd like to be the books in between these bookends." - Yeah, and-- - She's like, "I don't wanna be in the middle, "but I'd like to place myself in a proximity "that's equidistant between these two parties." (both laughing) - I'd like to be a ball being held by two hands. (both laughing) - And by the way, can she please? (both laughing) - That's where I'm raw. Was anybody else like scared or her breasts were scared? - Oh, Kathy, I was not scared of her breasts. - I don't look at their breasts. I mean, I'm so disturbed that you guys have all these comments on their breasts all the time. - I was like, "Why are you looking at them?" - 'Cause they're always falling out of whatever tanky knee they are wearing. - My eyes just don't naturally do that. - In real life, they don't either. And when they do, I'm so mortified. I think I turn purple. Like, you know how when you're on line, sometimes the Starbucks and someone's boobs are just right in your face. - Oh, so embarrassing. - Oh, it's like throwing my life. Oh, yeah, I keep my face. I'm like, "Ah, I got him out of my face already." - Well, okay, here's what I wanted to say about the party. This cast is so hateful that they're making me side with Teresa. What did Teresa really do at the end of the day? She called Melissa a gold digger. She called her that last year too. Who cares? Melissa probably is a gold digger. - Well, it's still not nice of her to say it either time. - Well, so what Melissa said horrible things about Teresa the whole time too, so. - But it's more than that she called her a gold digger. Gold digger says that Melissa married you only for your money. But now she's saying she will leave you for someone else, which is in a way almost even worse. It's a subtle difference, but it's still different. - No, no, no, that's the big difference, Ben, because everyone has said that Melissa's a gold digger. That's fine, and that's been out there for a while. But when Teresa, you know, kicked it up a notch by saying, but she would leave you for another dude, that's where Joe is really getting credit. - She did say she'd leave you for a richer dude. That's a lot different. - Right, she probably also should have said a taller dude and a dude with more hair. (laughing) - I was really enjoying the talk between Teresa and midget Joe, because their way of fighting is so hilarious. They're both so stupid, neither one of them can string a sentence together. And it's like a fight with two or three commercial breaks in it, and every time it goes back to it, they're just like, oh, why you said that? I didn't said nothing. Yes, you did, you say stuff to your husband. I do not, yes, you do. That's bull, you totally do. He textes me. Oh, that's not true. It was solstices, it's like, oh, it's just-- - Well, you do that again, but use the word "ingrediences" in a person. (laughing) - Here's the thing. The thing is this, yeah, this is not like a battle with, this is not the second coming of like Abraham Lincoln versus whoever he debated famously. (laughing) I'm not saying I'm a bad, I'm not arguing with you either. But with the point of this, though, I think at least Joe has a, you can reason with him a little bit more than Teresa. Teresa has her blinders on, and all she cares about is attacking back. She never, if she senses that she's being attacked, if he accuses her of anything, she doesn't listen, she just snaps back. And gets nowhere. And it's sort of funny watching Joe and sort of sad. He always has this like wide eye, the slashed, crushed look in his eyes, where it's like, he just found out that someone broke his favorite toy, like you almost can see him being like, but you know, like the heartache he has is very-- - It's very, but my heartache, it's drugs. He's completely drugged out of his mind. He's bloodshot, he's got tears in his eyes at all times. - Well, he can be stoned and heartache. He can be stoned and happy. - Oh, he has dead-eyed, like nobody's business. - Yeah, he's totally glazed over it. That guy looks like he's about to slip into a coma. And don't forget the first step so that he was in, was that christening episode, where he was flipping tables and screaming at the top of his lungs and ruining his own child's christening. So I don't buy it. - But either way though, I mean, like he's trying to talk to Teresa. - Okay, but then let me ask you this, why does he care so much that, like everything that he was saying during this fight, like every sentence ended with, but I want my kids to have a relationship. Like I want her to love my kids. I want her to be a good aunt to my kids. She's fucking crazy. Why would you want her around your children? - Well, 'cause they believe in family. I actually felt the whole thing about like, why don't you be a good aunt to this or that? I felt like that was a, I thought that was a weird tactic to take. I think he was doing that to sort of create sympathy or something, 'cause that's not what this is about. This isn't about ants or whatever. It's about the fact that Teresa is like a bitch and is a bitch to Melissa all the time and that he basically wants to stop being a bitch. - Well, Melissa's a bitch to her too. She's just acting on TV a little bit. - The difference is though, I've always said this, Melissa has her little petty digs and everything, but I feel like she's been pushed to that place. Like she has dealt with this like deluded woman for years and she just can't help but make passive aggressive barbs. - Possibly, but that's all that we've seen is of her alone. We don't see her with her witch sisters. Do you remember when those sisters were online here and they were just like sniveling behind her back? - I love when she's with her sisters. - It's like when Cinderella is on the same side as the witness stem sisters. - They're evil and they are definitely like, I don't get me wrong, like I miss them because they make for good TV, but like, Melissa is not the saint that she is painting this season. - She may not be a saint, but she's certainly a hell of a better person and communicator than Teresa. And Teresa, you know where she gets her advice from? From Joe, Joe Judas, who sits there and makes fun of every single person in her family. Like, yeah, you don't need any of them. You only need me, you only need me. - This is after, of course, he walks into the room and is like, yeah, I'm gonna take a big fat dump. - Yeah. (laughing) - It's too bad. - Wow. He is so gross and then like, the kick, I'm sorry. He has not a good kickboxer. He can't even lift his leg. - He got taken down by Richie, okay, enough said. - Exactly. - But also, he goes for every single low blow. He can't just say your brother's jealous or whatever. He has to be like, your brother's a midjay. He's probably gay. Your cousin looks like a frog. Rosie is butcher than Rosie. (laughing) He's kind of go. - Hey, he's middle management Josephine. - Josephine. - Yeah. - Yeah, she's the girl. - Trash too, but when we were watching Teresa and her brother have their conversation last night, I mean, the scary thing is I kind of felt like Juicy was smarter than both of them combined. - Explaining football to the friend who's just there for the nachos, hard. Tailgating from home like a pro with snacks and drinks everyone will love, an easy win. And with Instacart helping deliver the snack time MVPs to your door, you're ready for the game in as fast as 30 minutes. So you never miss a play or lose your seat on the couch or have to go head to head for the last chicken wing. Shop game day faves on Instacart and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three grocery orders. Offer valid for a limited time, other fees and terms apply. With Credit Karma finding the right credit card for you is easy. Our app analyzes user profiles to suggest personalized recommendations. Visit creditcarma.com today to explore cards tailored to your needs. Credit Karma, simplifying your financial choices. - No, I feel like Joe Gorga is smarter than Juicy and Teresa. Juicy and Teresa live in a fantasy world. That's a big difference. None of these people may be that bright, but at least, I don't think Joe and Melissa are like deluded. I think that Teresa and Joe Judas are literally living in a world of denial and of craziness. - Okay, I will give you that. And before we move on to OC, one last question for you guys. Did you guys think it was hilarious that Richie was telling his children not to invite their friends to that pool party because he was like, you guys are already, you should be mortified that you're on the show in the first place, but let's not tell mom, but don't invite your friends. - Yeah. - Well, he knew what was gonna happen, and sure enough, I mean, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but Teresa running around in the house going, oh God, this is ridiculous, what a con. - Yeah. - Yeah, she literally went up. - She literally got into a car and was like, what a fucking con, sister. - And for you guys kind of hoping for some more Melania insanity, I didn't get enough of that. - I know, I thought she was gonna drown. - Oh, next week it looks like we've got some G action though. - Yeah, Gia looks like, but the thing is this, the whenever Gia cries, it's heartbreaking 'cause it's like the human toll. - Oh my God, Ben, you serenade us with a little bit of Gia's song from last year. - Was that the one that was, it wasn't something like, I wake up in the morning and no one's there, I can't see my Uncle Joe or something like that. - Was that an amazing pizza birthday party? And it was just like, and then I was crying. - You were, you fucking was, that whole thing was her becoming her mother and getting camera time. Who writes a song to sing it their God damn birthday about her mom not getting along with her uncle? Give me a break. - Well, that's gonna be worth it. - Every one of us. - As Caroline would say, she's crying out for help. And no one was helping. (laughing) - I personally like the, I personally like the musicals. - I like the musical work of Jillian's Dobb who penned the famous song. ♪ You my sister, I love you ♪ ♪ You my sister ♪ - We all remember that one, right? - Oh, I couldn't ever forget it. It's on the high pod. - Yeah. - As it should be. - By the way, in related Twitter names. (laughing) - Yes. - Danielle, stop. - From the Twitter desk. (laughing) - Hold me underwear here. Danielle, stop, tweeted the other day. Thank you everyone for all your nice comments and your nice tweets. I will be coming back soon. (laughing) - To wear like to the sale rack at posh. - I don't know. - I thought she was still stripping at the, whatever that place was. - What is that place for you? - What? - Spearman right now? - Yeah, she can only wish she'd get into Spearman right now. - Yeah, no kidding. (laughing) - Wait, Ronnie, I didn't think you knew anything about boobs. - What? I don't. (laughing) - Big bang. - Okay, speaking of boobs, let's move down to glamorous Orange County and Vicki and her fun bags and her whole disaster. Because I'll be honest though, somebody else is gonna have to drive this bus because OC is so boring to me right now, I completely zone out. - I'm actually not bored by it at all. I actually really do enjoy it, oddly enough. I'm not bored whatsoever. I thought it was sort of fun watching Vicki in the wake of the news that her daughter got eloped. I really enjoyed watching her head explode over the course of the hour. And I loved when she went on this rant and she says, Vicki took from me, I wasn't able to help out the dress or help out the wedding or pick the flowers, pick the food, like Brianna took that from me. Doesn't she realize it's not just about her? And at that moment, I was like, okay, this is exactly why Brianna got eloped. - Yeah, you just listed every single reason that she eloped. (laughing) - Exactly. - You wanna get through the help of the wedding? I don't get to pick out her dress. I don't get to pick out her bridesmaid's dresses. I don't get to pick out her five options for her wedding for food. I don't get to help her pick out her toothpakes. I don't get to help her pick out the man. It's like, don't-- - Brianna, Brianna, run, yes. - Is this Vicki or is this Kim Zolsiak's crazy fucking mom? - No, well, no, she doesn't put in any of that woman. That woman's just like-- - Then whatever you want, Kimmy. - That's what the glass pipe, that's mamas. (laughing) - That glass pipe is dinner for me. (laughing) Anyway, I mean, gosh, Vicki is crazy. And then we know we had, this past week, was Brooks meeting the kids for the first time. I have, okay, here's what I gotta say about Brooks. This whole season, people have been saying, oh, he's such a grifter, he's such a grifter. I haven't honestly truly felt it. I felt like whatever, he's just a guy. But then this week was the first week where I was like, oh, yeah, he's a con artist. Yeah, he, all the rules. - What took you so long? He's been a con artist from the get-go. - I don't know, I guess I was hoping for love for you. - Well, Bravo has been very tricky because that's what they, you know, they know how to produce these shows by now and they know what he is. And they're just kind of tricking us all until they expose his ass. - Yeah. Well-- - 'Cause it's pretty sad to watch that, I mean, everybody knows, except Vicki. - So for people who don't remember, what happened was that Brooks meets Michael and Brianna and first he pulls Michael aside and he's like, yeah, you know, from everything, everything that your mother's told me, like you're a great, you're a great kid and I can see right now you're a great kid and how about your sister getting eloped, huh, huh, huh? And Michael's like, whoa, like, I don't even know you. And then fast forward to the end of the show and Brooks is telling the kids, like, you know, you're a great kids, like, like, I love you guys. Like, you guys are wonderful, wonderful people. I can already tell you are like just sensational people and you're like, what does, this guy literally met them for five minutes, what is he talking about? - Well, when he told Vicki he loves, when he's like, I really love your kids. - Really? (laughing) - Really, 'cause you haven't even met Brianna yet. - All he loves is Vicki's pot of gold and I do not mean her vagina, like her literal pot of gold and crawfish, the end. - Yeah, I think-- - He just feels every dime she has made at Kodurikaza Insurance. - Yes, I think that Brianna said it perfectly, you know, he's obviously, just from reading the tabloids, he's obviously got all this debt to his children. He's been to jail for that and still hasn't paid it off. And now he just shows up once every couple of weeks where Vicki's buying all of his clothes. I mean, that's-- - From Tommy Bahama, tragic. - Yeah, in the, I started doing the coming next week videos again where I do voiceovers of all the coming next week segment, so I'll plug that. You guys go to TVKasm and look at the video section, but in that part for Vicki, I was just like, "Mom, you've got square tits and a beaver face." All right, he's totally with you for your money. Wake up! (laughing) - By the way, I watched it and I was peeing my pants because then you cut to Vicki talking back to Brianna and the only thing she was saying is insurance, insurance, insurance, and I was dying. - That's the only thing I can ever think of for Vicki. It's all she has to say. - Later. - Speaking of marrying for the money, Slade wants to pop the question with Gretchen. And first he asked Gretchen's dad for his blessing and I wouldn't say that he truly got it. Would you guys say that? - Well, of course, Slade. I mean, he really tried to have like a nice romantic scene, went on a nice bike ride with the future in law and just got shot down, that was awesome. - Yeah, you know, he's such a slime ball and Gretchen-- - But no, he's not as much of a slime ball, don't you think? He's just kind of like really pathetic this season? - No, he's a slime ball. - No, he's a slime ball. - He's trying to get alimony from his ex-wife. He's a slime ball, okay? - Yeah, he's trying to not only not pay his alimony, he's actually trying to turn the tables and get money from her. And he's basically living off Gretchen. She basically told Tamara this week that, I mean, the guy's not working. He's living off Tamara. And now she's supposed to take on all his debt. He knows what happens if they get married. He knows that that debt is gonna be hers. - Do you honestly think that Slade is looking to have like Gretchen clean up all of his like bad credit? Or do you, I mean, I actually think that he loves her. - No, I don't think that-- - Oh my God. I just really embarrassed myself right there, didn't I? - You did. Well, probably like the sixth time this podcast, but-- (laughing) - Here's the thing. Go ahead and trample me right now, trample me. - I will. No, I mean, he's a slime ball. I don't think that he, I think he likes her for sure. I think that basically she's hot, so there's that. You know, she's on TV, so that's good for him. She earns money, so that's great also. - Okay, okay. - So why not? So you probably think he loves her. - I gotta pause right there. - Do you really think that the Gretchen-Christine Butte line and handbag collection is bringing in that much money? I don't think that this girl has a dime to her name. Her house is filled with nasty hideous, floridaly bullshit from Ross dress for less. I don't think that Jeff, the dead former fiancee, left her with any money except maybe our ring. And her house is like a rental in Nowhere'sville, like I don't think she has money. - But she's still a cast member. She does commercials. She has random, she gets more money than Slade does. - Yeah, she probably makes-- - She probably makes-- - She's probably a Fox five, don't forget. - She probably makes a couple, she probably makes a quarter of a million from Housewives. - Yeah, exactly. - Then she's got her endorsement deals, which are probably like what half a million to a million. - Yeah. - Then she's got all the other stuff, which would probably come in around. - And then you know if she's got those album sales, so that's-- - Yeah. - Two million right there. - I would suggest she's making a couple of million dollars at least a year. - Well, her hair extensions cost $500,000 a year and then she has to get her lips refilled. So I honestly don't think that girl is taking home more than 250 a year. - But either way, she's taking home 250 and Slade has taken home like some-- - That thing. - Food stamps. - You know how-- - Slade is taking 10% of that. - And you have to also remember-- - Her fat dogs are eating $50,000 worth of food every year. Her dogs are about to explode. - All right, we don't make fun of the dogs on this show. I'm drawing a line. - Drawing the line there. - Don't matter, don't overlook the allure of fame, okay? Like, she brings fame to Slade. Without like her, he's not on a TV show. - Right, and he's not-- - And he's not putting gigs at the improv. - Yeah, I think that's all he's ever wanted. He worked his way back in there. It's no coincidence that he started dating another housewife, I mean, come on. He's the guy that's just a pig. And, you know, I feel bad for her because she obviously does kind of love him because first of all, she believes everything that she's saying that he's telling her. - And second, she stopped calling him Chubba-Wubba and he's-- - Still Chubba-Wubba. - Yeah, he is still Chubba-Wubba. I mean, look, I guess-- - I guess that's-- - Don't have to have fun together. I mean, I'm not gonna deny that. They do look like they have fun and they play around the horse around. But I just question all of his ulterior motives. - No, I question them too. I guess the only, the weird thing for me is the only person on the cast that I don't absolutely hate. And of course, this is, you know, I love Brianna, but she's not a real cast member. The only person I don't loathe with all of my being is Gretchen. So in some fucked up way, I'm rooting for her. But I guess, I think it would actually be more fun to see her single and dating like a guy that's actually better than Slade. But again, I'm something like a crazy person that actually cares about these people. - You don't have to understand that the two wrongs don't make a right, but they date a lot. And she's done the same thing that she, he's done. She was dating some old guy who had money and she was totally living off of him. She can say she loved him or whatever. Give me a break. She's like some 20 year old with some nasty ass old man. So I think that part of her, she has some grifter in her too. I mean, look at all this stuff that's going down, how she's like, oh well, Slade's just being mean, but I don't want him to be mean to the girls. Like give me a break. You don't think she's coming home every night complaining about those girls and starting shit and sicking him on them like a angry fat chihuahua. - I'm just sad, I'm just sad that there wasn't a lot of prominent Alexis Bolino this week. That's a shame. - That is a shame. - Because she brings the hilarity. Although there was a prominent chin in that gym did show up for this wine event that they had. So that was nice. And that was actually funny. So Tamara and Vicky, who are known for their hote couture interests, decided to have started a wine club and they held it at a penthouse in Irvine so he knows real fancy. And it was great because they were all like, I think Gretchen was like dropped like blue cheese into her wine or something and then was like picking it out. And Heather was sitting there, you know, all highfalutin and could not believe these women. You know, I like Heather. I'm enjoying-- - You piss me off so much because you like her. It really bothers me. She is a fucking horrible person. - She's, no, she's just a bitch, that's all. - I don't think she's horrible. I see a little evil, durable face flower in her. I cannot wait until she buzz. - Yeah. - Or until she blooms rather. She's gonna be a very, very homely bitter flower when she blooms. I can't wait. - Yeah, we, this is just the calm before the stormy. She is going to mature like one of the fine wines that they had at this party. - Oh yeah, she's as delusional as the rest of them with her scenes about talking about going to pilot season. Oh my God, what if I book this show? Is it single camera? Oh yeah, it's totally single camera. Oh my God babe, that means long shooting hours. Look, I know that she had work in the 80s. I'm not gonna be ignorant and pretend that she's never worked, but come on, it's stop fun. - The average show she's been on was canceled after a hot second and nobody gave a fuck, so she can't pretend. And you know what, good for her. Go to fucking Vancouver and shoot a shitty show pilot, and that's not gonna get picked up. Find, shut the fuck up, and I don't care about your big band career either. - Well, I do care about that. And you know, her husband is the best of this bunch. - You sound like you wanna get a piece. - I don't wanna get a piece, but I appreciate smart people. - Yeah, I like him too. - And he's like smart and funny and nice. - Okay, before we're high. - I'm a country club kid. My parents when I was growing up did quite well for a little while. I was a poor kid and then a country club kid and then a poor kid again. But while we were country club kids, that's what all the women were like. And I just, that's when I really learned to love fake people and that fake smile and that fake embrace. It just made me feel so fakely secure, you know? - Yeah. - And I take that. - Yeah, definitely. - I mean, Heather can look you right in the face. She can look Gretchen right in the face and say, Gretchen, that performance was wonderful. Are you gonna perform more? I mean, that was just fantastic. I'm so proud of you. That was a piece of shit and she knows it. - Yeah, I mentioned her confessionally. - Like the biggest bitch ever. - Oh, but she even, she stuck with it in her confessional. She stayed with the fakeness. She was like, oh, I was so proud of her. - Yeah, but if Gretchen is so dumb that she can't see what's really going on when she's watching this season back, then I can no longer be Team Gretchen if she's that fucking stupid. - Well, you can't be Team Gretchen 'cause she's stupid enough to be entertaining Slade. So that's the problem, really. That's the problem. - Okay, okay. We're starting to run long here. What do you guys think, like the next, we don't have that many more episodes of OC, but the thing I'm excited for most, I suppose, for the next few weeks is the Brianna Vicki fight that is going to go out of control bonkers and make Vicki, you know, almost jump off a bridge. - Well, anything can make Vicki go bonkers and almost run off a bridge. She can find expired milk in her fridge and she's rated a pistol to her head, you know? - Very good point. But that being said, it's always fun when she freaks out, so. - Don't you guys think that there is a very good possibility that she is going to blame her fight with Brianna on Junikiho? - Oh, of course, and I would love that. Maybe even Frankie. Maybe even Frankie, the former tenants. - That is true. - Well, you guys are being very positive, but there's a lot of the season left. We're only on episode, we're about to be on episode 14, and Housewives have been going to 23 or 24 episodes. - So does this mean that next month that we're going to have Jersey on Sunday, New York on Monday, and OC on Tuesday? - We'll have, I believe we'll have three weeks of overlap. - Rumah has it. - Can we talk about it around the world and 80 plates since we're running out of time? - Yes, we got to talk about around the world and 80 plates and then, well, before we got to get to that, should we just, am I the only ones still watching? Don't be target for the wedding. - I can't. - I watch it for you today, but God, I hate it. - Yeah, I do. - I love it. - Well, that just speaks to your taste level, that's all. - Okay, I see how it is. - I just can't be, I just can't be happy for that woman. I just can't. I want to, I love her on Housewives of Atlanta. I laugh my ass off on that show, but on, this is just too much. It's like, it's rewarding, it's rewarding stupidity to my. - It's a genuinely stupid show. Although, I gotta give Brielle some credit because-- - That's what I'm getting for. - He was, he's gonna be a hottie. When he turns 18, he will be hot, but he just can't. - I was just thinking that, I don't know. Yes, Kim is a horrible person, fine, whatever, but I actually do think that she is kind of a good mom, dare I say. - Yeah, she's good to work, kids. Except for the fact that she serves them Chick-fil-A and Taco Bell and KFC every single night. - Except for the fact that she was a whore through the first part of their childhood. - Yeah, okay, look, let's stop talking about this because I can't ever get inroads because guys are fucking haters. So, let's talk about Vince's favorite. - I'm sorry, you know, I don't hate her. I'm just saying that bitch is a hoe. You know, you can't be raising kids as a hoe and then turn around and act like you're the best mother in the world. Give me a break. You could have gone, you could have stayed a nurse, whatever the hell it was you were doing. - That's a little hoe. - Here's the thing, this show, okay, this show, Munchack the podcast, has all these stupid arguments that really have nothing to do with anything. Like, she starts getting mad at her hairstyles. They're yelling at each other, okay. And then she's yelling at her mom because her mom bet this whole, this tasting thing. They're just yelling and they're getting upset about things and there's all this drama. But at the core, there's like this big question which is who cares and that's why it's not a good show because it doesn't make you care. - I am angry, I'm angry with Kim for the same reason I'm angry with homeless people, okay. I could have, there was a time in my life where I could have been like, I'll just be a hoe, fuck it. I won't make any effort. I won't go work my ass off trying to wait tables to do what I'm trying to do. I'll just be a hoe, it's like the homeless people. You think I don't wanna be standing around outside smoking cigarettes and drinking a bottle of wine every day? Fuck you. - I agree. - Okay, on that note, let's quickly discuss Bravo's new show around the world and 80 plates which I think sucks shit. Go ahead, Ben. - I thought it was like good. I didn't think it was great. I think it was very strange to me. It was strange that you have the first half is like very amazing racey and they're running, running, running and then the show just grounds the halt and then they gotta make dinner. And it's like it just felt like, I like the idea, I like the idea of bringing an amazing race type show to Bravo and cooking food in different countries and stuff. But it just felt like there was a lack of balance in the pacing of the show and then I didn't like the whole voting out each other. Like that, I wanted like a panel to-- - They vote each other out? - Yeah. - It's all about backstabbering. - Yeah. - So-- - Oh, well then, what's the point? Isn't it a cooking show? - Yeah, it's a cooking show, but then there's no like, it is about backstabber, it's like survival. - See Ronnie, doesn't this sound really awesome? - Now why didn't you like, why didn't you hit it so much? I mean, you-- - I don't like watching people run. - Well, here's my thing. I just enjoyed the last season of Amazing Race so I could use a few weeks off from this shit and then the other thing is Cat Cora is the most boring fucking person to roam the earth. I cannot stand her voice. - Oh, like, you know what, that Curtis Stone, I mean-- - I hate-- - And I'll admit it right at front that I'm just flat out jealous of Curtis Stone 'cause what is that guy ever done? He's just gorgeous and they hand him whatever he wants. I have seen no proof that he can cook, not a shred. - He's cocky, he's a cocky bastard. - Yeah, he looks like a total asshole, but I do love that he's getting fat. - Yeah, that always makes me feel better about me getting fat. - No, but I mean-- (laughs) Here's the thing, it's like, I was along with it, I was enjoying it, they had to run from place to place and eat the food and do this or that and it's like, cool, this is fun, like food culture, et cetera, et cetera. And it's weird because on Top Chef they have these episodes. They had one this past season when they were in San Antonio and they had to run to these different restaurants and get ingredients and cook in a kitchen. - And ingredients, like, come in and stuff. But, and that was really fun, but here, I'll still watch, but I felt it was like they needed to do all, they needed to sort of like, it wasn't ready for prime time yet, you know. - Okay, well, I will give it one or two more weeks, but I will not be giving one or two weeks when it returns with season two is pregnant in heels starring Rosie Pope when the first episode talks about some chick eating her placenta. No, thank you. - Yeah, I see enough ignorant jackasses pro-creating in Los Angeles, I don't need to see it on my TV. The only reason I kinda like Rosie Pope is 'cause she looks like Madeline Kahn. (laughing) - RIP, oh, Madeline Kahn. - I know, right? - She's like Sarah Ferguson, but. - We should just do a podcast about Madeline Kahn next week. Anyways, speaking of next week, I will not be here next week because I will be in Seattle and hopefully you guys, I know you're working your magic, hopefully you'll be able to lock in a special guest to replace me, hopefully not permanently replace me. - Well, we'll see it out of that, Mr. Eyelove. Don't be charty for the wedding. (laughing) - Damn, you guys are brutal. (laughing) - Yes, we will be working on getting Drew Drogi in here next week, but who knows if he'll be here? He's the internet's Chloe, Savinier. - You know, these celebrities, they are hard to pin down. - They are hard to pin down. Like Colin Cowie. - So true. - Do you know how much we could get Colin Comby? - We really should get him. - Colin Comby. - Wait, who's Colin Comby? - He's the guy from Survivor, the really horrible gay guy. - He's the horrible racist gay monster from Survivor. - Yeah, we should, he would make us look nice. - He would. - We should try and get him. - Also, I think he's fatter than all of us now. - He did, did you watch that reunion? He did blow up, girl. - Love it, karma. - Yeah. - That's what. - Pound karma. - I understand it 'cause I live it every day. There's a reason God won't let me lose weight 'cause I'm a horrible, yelling at homeless people kind of a person. - Meanwhile, the three finalists on Survivor last night looked so hot when they, you know, usually when you get the reunion show, one of them has got into their head that they're a celebrity and they do something crazy and wacky with their hair and makeup. But no, this time around, they looked great. Gosh. - They all did, they were hotness. - They were hot. It was a hot cast. - Well, we should take a break during the summer, maybe for Big Brother and actually do like a crazy podcast and just do a different channel. - I'm totally in. - Sounds like. - All right, cool, well, we should go because we always say, okay, it's almost over in the night. I start talking about 10 different things, so. - Okay, well, before we go, everybody shout out your Twitter handle so that people can follow us there for other craziness throughout the week. - I am either @flippet or @tvgasm. - And I'm @bsideblog. - And I'm @lifeonthemlist and you can always follow all of us @whatcrapins on the Twitter if you do such things. So anyway, guys, don't have too much fun with me next week while I am sipping chai latte is at the original Starbucks in Seattle. Tell Drew if you are able to lock him in that I adore him. And thank you everybody for listening to us once again this week and stick around. We will be back next Monday, sounds myself. - Oh, hey. - Thanks so much, guys. See you next time. - Bye. (upbeat music) - If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. - Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who'll fight like hell to keep you out of jail? - We defend and we fight just like you want your own children to defend it. - Whether you're facing a drug charge, caught up on a murder app, accused of committing war crimes, look no further than Paul Bergrin. - All the big guys go to Bergrin 'cause he gets everybody off. - You name it, Paul can do it. Need to launder some money, broker a deal with a drug cartel, take out a witness, from Wondery. 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