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That's Audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. - This episode of Watch For Crapins is brought to you by Gamefly. Go to Gamefly.com/forward-ha-ha for your free 15-day trial. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Hey everyone, this is Watch What Crapins, a weekly podcast devoted all to Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com, and with me is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo, I'm Matt. Hey Ben, nice to be back. - Nice, nice to have you back. And also Ronnie Karen from TVGuys and hi Ronnie. - Hey everybody. - Shabbat Shalom. - Shabbat Shalom. - Shabbat Shalom. Motherfuckers. - P-C-P-C-P-C. - You know, it's really not Shabbat, but it feels like it's Shabbat right now 'cause I'm so happy because Shah's of sunset premiered last night. This, there's been a lot of promotion behind this. Ron, Seacrest is behind it. And for those who have been under a rock, it's basically like Jersey Shore, except with 30-something Persians in Los Angeles. What did you guys think about it? - I was initially terrified and I immediately fell in love. - What about you Ronnie? - I thought it was kind of boring, but I did like the old me moms. I thought that was really fine. - The me mom was great. I was not bored at all. I was more like aligned with Matt, which is that it wasn't so much that I was terrified, and then I grew to love it. I was like simultaneously terrified and loving it at the same time. It was horrific. These people are awful, awful people, but I couldn't stop watching. I could not. I mean, we live here in Los Angeles. We see the Persian community a lot, and it was really interesting to me to sort of see a little bit more than what we see from the outside. And I don't know if I was totally happy with what I saw either, by the way. - I wasn't that impressed to be honest with you. Like MJ's apartment looked like either your apartment or my apartment. Like-- - Thanks, thanks. - You know what I'm saying, is there real money here? - I don't know. You know what I'm actually, I'm slightly convinced that MJ lives across the street. I have to say, when they showed exteriors of her building assuming that was her building, I think that's the building that's across the street for me. - Which is not 90210. - No, it's not. Although the Miz does live in that building, just so you all know. - I do love me the Miz. But Ronnie, what's your take on this? Because Ben and I are not from that part of the world. - Yeah, you're from the Levant. - So feel free to tell us what the real deal is. - Tell us about the real friends. - Well, first of all, I'm from El Paso, Texas. Okay, I'm having Lebanese, but I'm not half Persian. That's apparently kind of the same, actually. Now that I've seen it, the gay guy with the mustache, that's all my uncles, they all look like that, and they all see their GQ models. - Well, you know the thing is, that guy raised a, you know, they showed some pictures of him from his youth. He wasn't like bad looking. I mean, once he lost the weight. They showed his-- - Oh, he was gorgeous. Oh, in those pictures they showed, he was stunning. - Yeah, and there were actually some pictures on BravoTV.com. And you see him, like, there was a period of his life where he was really hot. - Yeah. - And then there's now. And I-- - Well, he would be a hot, you know, older guy if he didn't have that mustache. - Well, I mean, it ages him dramatically. I mean, he's probably 29, 30 years old, but he looks like he's 55. - No, he's probably 37. - And he looks like he's 48. - Reza is the biggest fame whore of the bunch. And it's been very fun watching him on Twitter. - Oh, really? - Because the week leading up to it, he was just all over the place. Like, he tweeted us his videos. He's making these Reza Rance videos. And in case you guys didn't get a chance to watch them, the first one was grooming. And it was basically him sitting there staring at a camera going, "What's up with grooming? "You guys, don't take care of yourselves. "I go to a nice restaurant. "I have to sit next to you on flip flops "and your feet are disgusting and have cheese all over them. "Take a shower, wash your hair." - You don't sound like your hair. - You don't sound like you're from Texas right now, Ronnie. - I know, yeah. - It sounds like your roots are really coming through. - I've watched that video so many times. - I don't know if I can-- - Brush your teeth. I look like Ricky Ricardo. You think that's easy? It's work, it's grooming. - As awful as he is, he was the guest on Watch What Happens Live with Nini last night, just because it was a big premiere night for that show. And he was actually kind of awesome. He, I understand that he is trying to become, you know, this next big breakout star. And he actually very well could be the Nini or the Bethany Frankel of his cast. But he really was like a nice guy on the show last night, which is surprising. And I do also, because of his like coming out story, you know, I give him some bonus points there. I mean, he seems to me pretty awful, but I also can't tell if he's awful, like if he's awful on purpose. Like sometimes when he's saying some of the retarded things that he was saying, I couldn't help thinking that he was just being hugely tongue-in-cheek and knowing he was making good TV. 'Cause he was, he was pretty awful. And I also don't understand how he could release a video about grooming when you have the rapist mustache, is one of the cast members called it, plus that weird hairstyle he has. Sort of like a buzz cut with like a wave in the front. I mean-- - It's Ricky Ricardo, 2012. And you know that he's got a little comb for that mustache. - Oh, you know. (laughing) - Yeah, oh, you know. Well, here's the thing, I actually have a friend who is friends with him and said that he actually, my friend was with Reza and they were film, they guess they had filmed a scene together. This was like a few months ago. And my friend is a very smart guy. And I can't help but think that Reza has to be all right. If my friend approves of this guy, he has to be okay in some way. - Well, the only part, the only part that Reza was really unbearable to me was when they were all ganging up on the poor homie girl. - Yeah. - When he was like, "Who's the asshole?" - She always comes dressed like a belly dancer. So at least she's making an effort. And then he started that shit at the table and pretended like he wasn't the one you'd said it. - She did look like a fucking mess. - She did, she did, but to be fair, people who live in glass houses with marble columns should not be throwing rocks, okay? Because she may have a look at belly dancer, but they all looked, I don't even know the right term for it, but they're all just going to sound offensive. - It's going to be offensive, it's just-- - Well, 'cause normally we throw them, "Oh my God, they look so Persian." - Yeah, I know, I think it's just like, you know, sometimes you go to a store and you see like an awful like Armani shirt that just says, "Armani," and you just look gaudy and tacky, like, "Who buys that?" - Well, it's the cast of the Shahza sunset. And so-- - Yeah, those gold shirts. - I don't know how you describe, I don't know what the word is to describe what their look is, 'cause if Asa is belly dancer, they are anti-belly dancer in the worst possible way. I mean, so-- - Well, I think you hit the nail in the head bend when you said that he is clearly trying to become like, this breakout star and he's acting like an asshole so that the camera follows him. That's clearly the case. Like Ramona Singer might be insane, but I actually think that she is performing to make good TV, and I think that he is gonna be the one on this cast to do that. - Yeah, now, Asa, what do we think about Asa? - Asa. - Is it Asa or Asa? I'm gonna call her Asa, 'cause I feel like Asa sounds very nonversion. (laughing) - It sounds very asfy. - Yes, it sounds very asfy. - Well, they clearly cast her so that she could be the punching bag for the season, so I hope she's prepared. - Which made me automatically like her the most, by the way, 'cause she is the punching bag already. - Well, I liked how they didn't show this last night, but I love the part in the previews where they show her singing, and she's like, have you guys seen an absolutely fabulous how Athena always sings a stupid song 'cause she thinks she's a pop star? And it's basically just, ♪ Walking down the road ♪ ♪ And the sun is out ♪ - Like it's a terrible song. And she literally sings that in the previews. They're like, ♪ Well, I'm a singer ♪ ♪ Walking down the road ♪ - I'm not going to, I'm not going to speak a word against the woman who delivered, for us, the epic Persian summer jam that was - Torengelas! - Torengelas! - Oh yeah! - I know that's going to be blasting at every pool party that I go to. - I actually did like that song, did you? - I was like, that's-- - No, no, we're not checking, and you actually have already downloaded it. - That's because you are half version slash lemony. - It's in your veins, dude. It's in your veins, just on it. - I love when she's telling the guy the lyrics, and she goes, it'll make more sense than Farsi. Yeah, I'm sure it will. - Yeah, and I love that they showed a little clip of like a little music video that she did that was like recorded on VHS, you know, of her like just wafting in a pond or something like that. Like, I do question her art, you know, that is for sure. - Yeah, I feel like she's really into like natural births and pools and like, canned, lots of candles. - But here's where she earns points with me. First of all, she did say that money doesn't buy you style, which I agree with, even though she, even though she looks like a belly dancer, it's like her own-- - Oh, honey. - Yeah, I'm sorry. - Poor people always say that. - Yeah, well, wait, I'm sorry, the Countess Luan. That's the lyrics of the Countess Luan song, right? - Well, good. Well, I think there should be a Farsi version of that. - Oh, remix! - Farsi, yeah, the Farsi remix of, you know, she say lovey, you know? - She's, she say love on. - She say love on, you know? But anyway, I, but actually what I also really liked from her was that she was the only one of the entire cast that seemed to have like some self-awareness or to be slightly embarrassed by the tacky excess of her peers, you know? Everyone else seemed to think, like, if you buy that shirt from Bloomingdale's that says Armani on it, like, that's awesome. That means you've made it. It's like, no, that means you're awful. - Yeah, but here's the problem. She fucked with Gigi, and if you fuck with Gigi, you're gonna die. - Okay, okay, you know what? She had every right to fuck with Gigi, because, okay, let's first talk about Gigi, and then we'll talk about their little argument, okay? So Gigi, to me, she looks like the Persian Lauren Conrad, but I actually don't mean that in a bad way. I mean, not that it would be a bad way, but I think she actually looks pretty hot. - She definitely is hot. I mean, when she went to that gun range and her little booty shorts and the sparkly- - Oh my God, you guys are horrible people. How could you say that? - It looks hot. - Okay, look. - She, I mean, okay, she is- - That girl, she doesn't like handsome ugly people, and I think those are pretty big words from somebody who can't get a proper nose job. Bitch can't move her nose, have her eyes closed, and the other half is open. She got some Botox put in wrong, and she's calling other people ugly. - Well, I mean, well, I think she actually does look hot. I do question- - She actually gets her hair did unlike the other ladies on this show. - But that being said, I mean, she's a hideous human being. - Oh, no doubt. - She's hideous, I mean, if she's supported by her daddy, you know, I don't think that's great, but you know what, whatever, if he wants to pay for her and she's okay with it, fine, do it. But she is a spoiled brat. - Yeah. - And she should own the fact that her dad pays a little bill. So then when Asa, Asa mentioned this at dinner at 14, which is a- - A whole other story. - A whole other story. We can get into one second. You know, Gigi got very defensive about that. Like, don't you talk about my father. You don't talk about my family. I don't want you to be that kind of- - And then she said, I'm not threatening you. I'm warning you, but it was clearly a threat. - I don't know how you can warn without threatening. - Right, especially after she was at the gun range. - Yeah, exactly. And of course, what really preceded this argument was that Asa made the huge mistake, egregious mistake of mentioning H&M in the general vicinity of Gigi, who had no choice but to interpret that as an insult on her- - Well, hello. She was wearing a Diane Von Furstenberg dress and Christian Lubitan heels. So how dare you? - How dare you? - How dare you call that H&M? - Well, the thing is that the funny part is that I don't think Asa was calling it H&M. I don't think she was really saying anything about Gigi's style. She just made a joke about H&M. But because Gigi was there and sort of like vaguely within like your shot or slash eye contact, Gigi assumed that this was a targeted attack on her. And that to me was the most amazing thing of all. I mean, I think H&M looks nice. - Well, I know that Asa can't fit into H&M because I've tried shopping there and that's not made for chunky people. You have to be skinny. That was the only bitch at that table who could fit into H&M is that walkie-eyed girl. - Listen, for the person who created the epic Persian summer jam that is Terangelis, I think H&M might make a custom piece. Just saying. - Yeah, so some of us will at least be able to buy some jogging pants from H&M. - From the Terangelis line. - Do you actually think that Gigi is worse than MJ? 'Cause MJ is kind of a hot mess. - In a weird way I like MJ, MJ is a hot mess. 'Cause MJ, so MJ is the one who she doesn't want to get married, she doesn't want to have kids. - She's the overbearing mother. - She has the small dogs, you know, it's like double edged because they're at the dogs that you buy at the mall, but they look like people from the mall so they're really fat in that shade. - Oh, she bought them at the Beverly Center and they probably used to work at the Cinnabon. - Oh yeah, exactly. And she puts them up at the dog hotel on Fairfax. I always wondered who actually went to that stupid dog hotel. - Right, exactly, again, not in Beverly Hills. - No, not Beverly Hills. - Yeah, Fairfax. - Yeah, they don't call it the Shaw. No, I'm sorry, it wasn't fair. It's on the brain. - It's on the brain. - It's on the brain. - On the brain. - Oh, which is 9.00, like, three, six, maybe. - Oh, yeah, I mean. - How dare they? - Who would live in that zip code? - I do. - I know. (laughing) But however, though, I do have my suspicions that MJ lives across the street from me, so gosh, it's all just a huge mess. But the point is this, you know, the thing is MJ had a few funny lines. I don't really remember what they were, but I remember that I did laugh a few times and her mom was funny and I don't know, I kind of won some points for me. - Well, she thinks that she's hot, 'cause when she went to that realtor, when she went to that realtor get together, the fact that she has a job at, what is it, H and R-- - Keller Williams. - Keller Williams. - Kind of blows my mind, but she shows up there and Reza's like, "Oh, you look so hot," and she goes, "I am." - They're like, "Do it well." - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - You guys, I think she's so pretty. You don't think she's pretty, MJ? - No. - Ronnie, you need to get recalibrated. If you think Gigi is ugly and MJ is hot. - Because this is why you guys equate skinniness. I don't think you do it on purpose, but I think the natural thing to do is equate skininess. - I'm talking about MJ's face. - No, no, no, I'm talking MJ's face. - Are we podcasting with her right now? - I don't know. - Her face is so pretty, you guys. Just 'cause she's fat. I'm eating M&M's while we're doing this, by the way. - Even if MJ were thin, I don't know that she would be like the hottest, but that's my polite. - You know, MJ, I think we just said that. - I'm approaching this in a way that won't offend her if she ever hears this. - I think she's just like a typical fat guy. She's super insecure. She hangs out with a semi-fabulous, at least in his mind, in her mind. Gigi, that's super confident and kind of makes his way through a room. And that's the only way she can do it, 'cause when she was around all those girls trying on bridal bridesmaid stresses. - She flipped out. - Oh. - Oh, she flipped out. - She told the bride. She's like, well, you know, you're just gonna get divorced. - She's clearly the Melissa McCarthy, because like every group of hot girls needs a fatty there to make them all look and feel better. - And that's why Gigi should really reexamine her statement about hating ants and ugly people, because as a hot girl, you always need the ugly girls. - Yeah, she needs some ugly girls around her to make her look extra hot and to make that wonky eye disappear. - And if you're listening right now and thinking that we sound extra callous, I can tell you that I took a social psychology class and it is an actual social psychology thing where it's called Bassing in the Reflected Glory, where like an uglier person hangs out with a hotter person 'cause it makes them look good and a hotter person hangs out with an ugly person because it makes them look good in a different way. - Everybody reexamine all of your friendships right now. - It's all the circle of life and everything is wonderful. - Whatever, MJ is pretty and I'm standing up for the fat girl. You guys can hate fat people. And also, you know, I'm standing up for her because her mother is such a horrible human being that-- - Okay, well, let's talk about that mom because I don't really understand like, so there's Muslims and then there's Jews and then people like, what's going on? 'Cause I'm dumb. - Well, okay. - Let me do a quick course for Matt. So Islam and Judaism are two religions. - I understand that. - And some people in Iran are Muslim and some are Jewish, but a lot of the Jews I guess left, all the Ashkenazi Jews, I'm Jewish, so I can give you extra perspective on the fact that they're called Ashkenazi Jews. And that's basically the story there, so. - Okay, but like MJ's mom clearly hates the Jews. - Yeah, it was actually kind of funny. The sheer matter of times there was a lot of Jewish, it wasn't really bashing, but seriously. - But kind of, yes. - But I kind of gave it a slide because I'm like, you know what, this entire show, like I know I'm gonna be podcast, when I podcast, I'm gonna be making a lot of generalizations about Persians, so I'll let them generalize about us Jews a little bit because you know what, I'm gonna be going out pretty hard by the way. No, but you know what, though. - So let me ask you this, as though as, Ronnie, you're not Jewish, are you? - No, he is from Iran. - No, I think that their religions are the same as ours. You know, they have different kinds of, they're Muslim, they're Christian, they're Jewish. They just haven't, they haven't been in America long enough to reach where we are, which is that don't give a crap. - Got it. - Where, like your parents may be one thing, but we don't care. I mean, Ben, honestly, like, would you like the candles? Like, how Jewish, how Jewish are you, Ben? - Well, that's what I'm getting at. As the president- - I will take out my menorah, right now, Shabbat dinner for us on Friday. - I would love to. - You need to host a Shabbat dinner. - I'm gonna have Shabbat dinner. - And Ronnie is only half invited. I'm only invited to his Texas side. - You know why, because I'm fat. - Okay, well, let me ask you- - I'm inviting MJ next door. - As a resident, or as the resident Jew of this podcast, you have to speak on all things Jew. - Yes, so, as I often do. - Do the women start to just, do they just get ugly once they get married and just lose themselves, or what? - Well, that's what MJ's mom was saying, right? - I mean, that's what she was saying. You know, here's the thing, okay? Of course, this woman was making huge generalizations that may not even be based on anything, maybe based on like one woman that she met. I don't know, I thought it was funny. I think people- - Would you did a Jewish girl in her 30s that was single? - I would did a Jewish guy in my 30s. - Would you date Mike? You kind of think you kind of like Mike, don't you? - Well, here's the thing about Mike, so this is our last cast member that we haven't talked about. - Oh, let me guess, the hot guy. Oh, come on. - We haven't talked about Sammy yet. - Oh, yes, Sammy, sorry. - And he's disgusting, but let's go with Mike. - Mike, okay, Mike is like a muscle-clad guy and everything, you know, he has like a swagger about him that's attractive, but he also has a really greasy, disgusting look about him that's not attractive. - He has midget face. He has Iranian midget face. - What? - He has Iranian midget face. - Is that like a syndrome? - Yes, it's like regular midget face, but for Iranians. - You know, Gigi sort of has midget face, and I mean, he definitely does. - She definitely does. - He's expensive way possible to midgets, but she sort of has to have like that big round foreheads of like Rihanna too, you know? - Yeah, I only didn't make fun of her midget face because I figured it wasn't nice to make fun of that 'cause she can't change that, but her nose. - Well, I already said that she was hot. So I'm just saying, I'm not saying it as a detraction, I'm just saying it as like the features of her face are very similar to a lot of little people's features. - But haven't you learned by now in this podcast that I'm allowed to be a hypocrite, but then no one else can make fun of anyone else's opinion. - We figured that was the case. - We figured it out. - You sound a lot like Tamara Barney right now. - Wait, so what did you guys think about Mike? - Real, okay, I'm real. - I think Mike was okay, I mean, he's a perv, he likes like slutty, nasty, like poor girlfriend. - He likes his mom, mommy. - He's a mommy's boy and he likes hookers that wear fish net. - Yeah, and you know, I don't think no, wait, wait. - Let's talk about Mike's girlfriend that he brought to this pool party. She was wearing a bikini and she had like a fish net thing on top. I didn't see what was so wrong about it. - She didn't even get chyroned though because she probably doesn't even have a name. - No, she did get chyroned. - She did? - Her name was Lara. - Oh, excuse me, I was-- - We were like blinded by all the shimmering gold at the party. - I was blinded by peachy peachy. - The thing is this, okay, so I mean, she did look sort of slutty but that seemed like it wasn't because of her outfit. I think it was more just her stance and her like lips. But Gigi, Gigi's like, I can't believe she would wear that to a pool party. I mean, this isn't Vegas. What the fuck is she supposed to wear a pool party? She's wearing a bikini, what's wrong with that? - Gigi is uptight and she wants to shoot. - She's jealous bitch. - Yeah, she wants to ride Mike. And she eventually will this season, you know, fingers crossed, but don't you think they gotta hook up? - Yeah, they always gotta kiss. - Down south. - She's gotta handle those falafel walls. I'll tell you that much. - Oh, and G. - Oh, and G. - And you know what they have in common? It's like Bethany Frankel said last week on her show. Hot people like each other. You just put hot people next to each other and they'll automatically like each other. It doesn't even matter what they're talking about. - That's so true. - It's actually true. - It actually is true. It actually is really true. - I mean, I think that Mike is hot, you know. There's a sleasiness. There's actually like a nice part about him and there's a sleazy part about him. - Oh, he is the least detestable. I think that he and Asa are clearly the two that you might be able to perform. - Wait, no, I actually think our last cast member, Sammy, is actually-- - He's disgusting. - He's disgusting, but I thought he was actually affable. - How? - Yeah, I loved that guy. - Yeah, I mean, he looks like Danny DeVito doesn't mean we can't like him. - You know, I just wrote in my blog that he looks like a long lost character from Pinocchio. It doesn't even look like a 1940s like Disney, like a rolly-poly character. Like, you know that you see that's like a chef or a baker. - I'm just gonna be honest. - It's just like Cinderella. - Anybody that wears a fedora I hate and wanna kill. - Well, he has to wear that fedora. - Well, why doesn't he just say it? - You see you eyeballed and I don't wear a fedora. - Exactly, and you look great without a fedora. - I agree, and I agree. - I agree. - Okay, all right. - I think that he looks like Danny DeVito before he met Rhea Perlman and let himself go. - Oh, it's all blame Rhea. - Yeah, Danny was really hot before Rhea. - He pretty weird. - Pre-Rhea days, Danny was a hotty. - Okay, well, let's talk about like where do we think this series is going? Do we love it? Do we hate it? Ronnie clearly is not a fan. You and I are obsessed. - I think it's going in a good direction. I think these are interesting characters. Even when they're awful, they're interesting. They've got a good chemistry. And it is sort of like fascinating to see their culture. I think hopefully it will go the Jersey Shore route, which is that you start watching for the rubber-necking value to see this crazy peek inside this world. But then you grow to actually like the characters and feel like they're, you know, you're drawn to their sweetness. - But is it that, are they that fabulous? - No, that's the whole point. - But do we know that because we live in LA and we know that it's all like, oh, actually your dog is going to that place on La Brea and oh wait, you're leasing that C-Class Mercedes. Like, are they really, like what are other people outside of LA? - I would like to, that's a good question. I mean, I would like to get that. - They're disgusted. - Yeah, they. - Across the board. If you read the comment boards, people are like, this show sucks. These people are disgusting. - And the ratings were really, really good. - Were they good? - Yeah, the ratings were good. Well, they put it after Atlanta, which is the highest rated show on all of Bravo. It was a very smart move. - Yeah. - And I mean, I wasn't rooting for it because I don't like Ryan Seacrest and I don't wanna, I didn't think that this was going to be a good fit for Bravo, which is my, you know, I love me my Bravo, but actually, I think it's the perfect fit. - Yeah, it actually works very well because you know what? It's like an extension of the Housewives brand of just rich people acting opulently. You know, it's the people at the right, or the right age for Bravo. I actually really, really enjoyed it. And I think that actually getting back to your question, I think people who are not around, maybe Persians as much as we are in the city, are still gonna be sort of like gawking at it because look at the scene where Mike was, I think Mike was at like his office and you see like three or four other Persian guys and they got their hair grease back and these nasty- - Gold watches. - Gold watches, it's just ridiculous. And I think anyone is gonna react to that. Right, Ronnie? - Oh, I thought that show was disturbing his tail. - Ron, no. - I thought that show was disturbing his tail. It depressed me about humanity and I'm gonna watch it every week. - Good answer. - Well, you have to- - But you know what? I think if anyone needs to spin off, it's those moms. I love the mom. I love a mom who can tell their kid what a loser they are. - Yes. - I love it. - Just like sides, mom. - It was actually hilarious when M.J.'s mom was bashing her house code and saying it was like, older than Tehran, older than all these like- - Repesent ladies. - Yes. - It was brilliant. - Yeah, and you know, by the way, I didn't get to finish what I was gonna say about Sammy, which is that yes, physically he is not very attractive and he's skeezy and he likes these skeezy-ass stripper women. But there was something very sweet about him, I thought. - Hey, hey, if he's a hard worker, fine, but I'm just, these gross dudes with like, hooker girlfriends just creep me out. - So can we talk about 14 for a second? Now you wanna hear some generalizations? So- - Tell people what 14 is if they don't live in LA. - 14 is the restaurant that they had the H&M fight in. It's a restaurant- - Slash club, kind of, really. - Basically, I once saw Brody, Jenner, and Frankie, Delgado there, I think it's you any sort of idea of what the clientele is like. But here's the thing. So, I think I once heard from a club promoter once before and this is gonna sound hardly racist, but it's been perceived to be a truism in LA. That once a club goes Persian, it's over. That's a horrible thing to say. - Send your hate mail to our Twitter. - This is what club promoters say and I would like to say that 14 is now closed. - Yeah, 14 is now closed. - Yeah, it's no longer in business. - When they showed that they were eating dinner at 14, I was like, oh, well, now that's now closed. - Yeah. - It's close, don't even think that is, you guys. - I'll tell you why. Because a lot of the Persian community out here really is very showy and like what we've seen on the show. There's a lot of like, godiness and tackiness and people don't actually love being around that. You know? Whether it's Persian or non-Persian, people don't love it. - What would they rather be around Mary Kate and Ashley on some calf tans and dark sunglasses? - People would because Mary Kate and Ashley are famous and the city works that way. - Unlike Frank Adelgato. - Yeah, so people don't like it, you know? And sometimes they can get loud and rowdy, you know? - Well, don't get me wrong. I actually think that people are gonna watch this show because they are rooting against them because people are racist. - People are racist, yeah, and it's-- - People are racist and they're also classic. And I think that this is the perfect couple. When you're watching The Real Housewives of New York, you kind of have to hate on Luan, even though I know you. - But you're rooting for these people's lives to fall apart because they're rich bitches. Well, these are rich bitches. And then I think a lot of America that is watching this show is also racist. And so they can hate them for multiple reasons. - Right, now what's interesting is, you know, I actually didn't really come into it from this perspective, but I wonder if there are a lot of people that came into the show from an anti-Muslim perspective. And-- - But not all of them are Muslim. - Right, but I'm saying people, you know, they-- - Well, too Americans, they are. - Anybody who's like Middle Eastern is-- - That's what I'm getting at. So whether they're Muslim, Jewish, or none of the above, I think that's a reason why people are gonna tune in because they kind of just wanna hate them, which is unfortunate and they're not giving them, you know, a fair shot. But I do think that that's what's happening. - I only wanna hate them 'cause they're tacky. - Yeah, exactly. I just wanna hate them for that mustache. They should all be punished for Reza's mustache. - Yeah, exactly. When they said that if Reza wasn't around right now, he'd be put to death. I think it's really just 'cause the mustache, I don't think it's 'cause he's gay. (laughing) - Oh, sorry, you were gonna say something. - Well, I was gonna say we probably need to, you know, start talking about Atlanta, but that other thing that was freaking me out was that creepy dude that Reza was showing houses to. - Oh yeah, who does that creepy dude? - Well, at first I thought it was a client and then Reza-- - But secretly his boyfriend, he watched him shower. - Yeah, Reza went and took a shower in front of his client, which seems like it's not totally kosher. - Ronnie, do you shower in front of your coworkers? - Are you kidding? I cover the mirror when I take a shower, so I don't even have to look at my damn cell. - Oh. - I'm gonna shower to know this podcast, I don't know. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Especially 'cause you're here. - Okay, no, I'm not very comfortable with my pastiness. I keep that private. - I don't know, I think it's a little strange that he would shower in front of a client's-- - And I'm totally doing that guy. - Yeah, they have to be doing-- - Clearly, clearly. - Yeah. - And that guy sort of looked like Kevin Sorbo, I'd like to add, just for no other reason. - He's like a rough Kevin Sorbo. - Like a rough Kevin Sorbo. - Maybe it was Kevin Sorbo. - Yeah, you know, Kevin Sorbo's had a rough few years, I imagine, after her release. - Speaking of a rough few years, let's talk about Peter from Atlanta, because he's a mess, and I hate him. - He's awful, okay. He has really become a bigger and bigger and bigger asshole, so-- - Is everybody here team Mallory? 'Cause I'm so team Mallory. - Yeah, of course. - She has her flaws too, she needs to shut up too, but I am team Mallory, so here's the thing, it was the continued saga of the one year anniversary party, which is a ridiculous enough party as it is. Peter, so the show begins with Cynthia like moseying in behind Peter, he's talking to some vendor on the phone, and he gets all mad at her for listening in, and he's like, "You gotta trust me "that I'm gonna produce a great party within our budget." And she's like, "Well, how is that going in the budget?" He's like, "Well, I need a few thousand dollars." - I need a thousand dollars. - How is she supposed to trust him? - Well, oh god, well, she married him, you know, it's like one of those girls who call you crying because their relationship sucks. It's like, "Listen, bitch, I told you the first five minutes "you dated him, but he was a piece of shit, "and you called me a bitter old lonely queen." So now you're stuck with them. (laughing) I have no pity for her. Now, did you talk to her? - No one has pity for Cynthia, let's get that clear, no one has pity, but I mean, is this the most ridiculous thing with you? - It is, and it's not like the Bailey Modeling Agency is like something that we know of. - Oh, you just wait, you just wait. - I just signed. - There's no petty cash there for Cynthia to dig into, and the funny thing is, if you look when they do an exterior shot of their townhouse that they are clearly renting, if you notice, the shutters are falling apart in the upper windows, it's like, they can't even fix the fucking shutters on their rented townhouse. How are they gonna have a $10,000 party? Oh, wait, because Sir Rock is gonna sponsor it. - Yeah, I was gonna say, they didn't even spend any money on that. The place that they were at, they showed the guy on camera that horribly spray tan plastic surgery guy. They showed him on camera and put his name up there because that's what he did it for. He did it for the credit, he did his site on there, and everything, they showed all the brands of everything that was being served at that party. We got close-ups of all of that. What did they pay for, nothing? - But even so, but even so, even if they wound up not paying for anything, they couldn't, well, I guess maybe 'cause they're on Broadway, they could guarantee it, but in general, if you are living beyond your means, like $10,000 is not a small chunk of change. I'm sorry, like spend like $500 and get some food and have people over at your place. - She didn't even want that, she just wanted to go out to dinner with her man. - And he was like, well, we have to because of the people that we run with, we gotta impress them. Are these the values that you really want in your marriage? - Well, if you're gonna put that on TV, you're essentially saying, yeah, we're poor, trash, and we're trying to play along, but we can't. - Yeah. - Well, the people they run with are all broke too, at least half of them are. - Yeah, well, so I don't know what they're talking about. - We're all trying to impress each other the most, and the funny thing to me was that on top of the fact that it's unnecessary to have a one-year anniversary party for 150 people for $10,000, on top of all that, they made it black tie. I mean, is this the most excessive use of black tie of all time? - Yes. - I mean, I feel like maybe next week on the podcast, we should be black tie. - Why not? - We're gonna shower this week, and we'll be black tie next week. - Well, maybe they're on down-nappy standards, where black tie is actually considered casual, and white tie is fancy, you know? Although Peter was in white tie. - He was, he loves a white tie. - I was a little scared when Peter went off to the party in a stupid polo shirt. I was like, you cannot be serious that this counts as black tie, this polo shirt. - What about the limo not showing up? I mean, it was just shady from the get-go. - I know, I was glad that limo, especially with all the-- - Ah! - Well, okay, so let's get back to Mel here, because so Peter says he doesn't want Mel writing in the limo, which I actually thought that was a reasonable request, because it's the other one. - They hate each other. - Yeah, so then Cindy tells Mel, is it Mel or Mel? - I think it's Mallory, yeah. - Yeah, tells Mel, like, oh, so you can't come in the limo. I was like, no, I'm coming in the limo. Like, have some self-respectful men, like they said, don't come in the limo, and you're gonna, like, try to climb into this anniversary-- - But she didn't even say she's not gonna come, she didn't even say that, she goes. - I'm going wide. - I'm going wide. (laughing) - Which made me like her more. And then we'll tell you, if anybody needs some self-respect, it's Cynthia. This chick is hot, still. I mean, she's over 40-- - She's fantastic. - She's like 45, she's still hot. She used to date Russell Simmons, what is she doing with this deadbeat? Does she have, I mean, her ex-husband is hot. Like, her daughter is-- - And why is she with this loser? - Everyone in her life is hot, except for Peter, you know? - So why is she with him? - Peter all drunk and red-eyed and stoned all the time. - She is stoned. - And calling out Mallory on the microphone two times, it's that wedding. - It is stoned all the time. - Let's give a toast to the friends and family and Mallory. (laughing) Hey, let's have everybody out here, except for Mallory. - He is such an asshole, even if he doesn't like her. I mean, that's your sister-in-law, don't like her out in front of the entire group. I mean, he really is a low life, a true low life. - But again, mother worth her weight in gold when she's like, I'm surprised. We didn't think he'd last a year. - Yeah, and then now's like shocked. We were shocked. I kept him whenever I'd be like, oh, just kidding. Like, congratulations. They were like, no, no, they were honest. I was like, you guys are the biggest bitches. I wonder why Cynthia is with this dead beep because she feels so crappy about herself with these people. - Oh. - She deserves any better than Papa Smurf. - Well, bad decisions, you know? Your mom, if your mom is good and you're making a bad decision, she should tell you. I mean, yes, I come home from Christmas crying, but. (laughing) It's not that she's wrong. - Bad decision sounds like Cynthia and Bryce and she get together and I come up with a car with a life plan. That would work out real well. - Okay, now let's switch now because now we're talking mothers, okay? Now let's look at Nini as a mother. - I did everything. Why? I told him right from wrong, bit you just bought him a car. - Yeah. - For like doing nothing but sitting around and smoking weed all day. - I love all that being a good mother. - I also love how she and Greg were imparting life advice to Bryce and while they're both holding two giant glasses of mimosa. - Right, they were not in champagne flutes. - They were like. - They were not. - They were big gulp godlets. - I know, though, to be fair, can I tell you guys a quick little story yesterday. I went and got some drinks from the afternoon with some friends and I went, this waitress was brand new, waitress/partender and I asked for Prosecco. She poured me an entire water glass bowl of Prosecco. - Are we going there right now? - It was a great deal. It was a great deal. - Oh, we're going there right now. - I hope you're free in 30 minutes. - She also didn't know what Rosé was. When my friend asked for Rosé, she goes, "Is that a white?" And then she brought it on. 'Cause I think this is your Rosé wine. (laughing) - I already looked at her. - Was that at 14? Oh, wait. - Oh, she's like, I'm dating this great new guy named Bryson and she got me these two new razors. - Okay, well, in addition to, so Ronnie, why is Nini like a terrible mom? Because she like left her son to do drugs all day and go to jail while she went to Celebrity Prentice because she bought him a car. Like, why is she so terrible? - Because her Ariel has already lived her national TV. - 'Cause his ass should have been caked out when he was 18 years old. He should have been either forced to go to school or get a job. He's laying around this mansion that's not even paid for, doing nothing but smoking weed all day and shoplifting from Walmart. Get him out of there. What's with the time, Frank? Get the hell out of my house. - Sounds like he's ready for an internship with Peter at bar one. - Yeah, I think that that's like, well, he wants to own a restaurant. I think that's the natural progression. - Yeah. - Well, where do you think he got that idea? Because he's been hanging out with Peter, his new father figure. - Well, I'm sure he's been a drug dealer. - Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, actually, probably, his weed dealer. - Oh, it wasn't racist, no. - But you know what, Matt has made a face. He's like, was that racist? It's not racist. It's not racist, but you could be attacked for libel or slander. - The thing that's so sad about Bryson is that you just want to hug him. I mean, he seems like such a sweet guy. - No, he's a nice guy. - And they're like, they're like, what'd you do that? Why do you do that? Just tell me why. I just want to know why. And he's like, oh. - Did anybody else notice that her tits were hanging out? - Her tits were hanging out. She's drunk on the horses. - Yes, it's drunk. - Her mom's standing up and thinking in the morning with tits hanging out. - Like, the poor kid's acting out because his mom is off doing famous things. His dad is a grifter. And, you know, what else does he have to do with his life? Except act out to get their attention to get them in the same room together to talk to him. - I don't know. I think he seems like a good kid. Nini's younger son is adorable. - Yeah. - And I just hope that he can figure his shit out. - You know, a lot of the kids seem like actually really good kids, believe it or not, somehow through it all. Cynthia's daughter seems like a good egg and Kylie. - Oh, Brielle is amazing. - Oh. - Oh, wait, no she's not. - Brielle is not. Actually, Ariana, though, is-- - Oh, I love Ariana. - She's an angel. - Oh, yeah. - Brielle is awful. I think that's 'cause Brielle's been raised both by Kim and by Sweetie. And therein lies the problem. - Right, and I'm sure she and Sweetie are smoking cigarettes poolside right now. - Sweetie really is awful. As awful as Kim is, I'm glad that Kim is finally rising up to the fact that she's got an awful assistant. - Well, I mean, if Sweetie made $4 an hour, Kim's getting her money's worth, but if she's paying her 50 grand a year, she's getting fucked. - She's getting paid in Chardonnay and Chick-fil-A. So no wonder why she has a terrible work ethic. (laughing) - And-- - Well, I think things were gonna go bad with Sweetie this season when it started off and Sweetie had a makeover, she had the new weave, and she was wearing like silver eye shadow and big fake eyelashes and thought she was important. And I was like, oh no, you can never let your help get a makeover. - No, no, no, no. - Ronnie, is this from experience being Lebanese? (laughing) - Pretty, I know that when I look good and I feel good, I ain't cleaning up after anybody. - I'll do it when I'm fat because I feel like I need to pay something back to the universe. - Yeah. - Like I've done something wrong, but when I'm pretty, I ain't lifting a finger. - Well, I do love how on Real Housewives of Atlanta, especially all the ancillary characters, they always come back the next season looking all prettified. Like, Phaedra's mom was prettier. Candy's mom now has all these, Candy's mom used to have like this big perm, this big old lady perm. And now she's got these wigs. - She has a wig line. - She has a wig line. - Yeah, exactly. And now Sweetie is wearing makeup and-- - You know, Kim's dad is still, you know, he hasn't done the makeover. - No, he's still wearing the cellphone belt clip. - Yeah, so he's sort of hilariously gorgeous. - Shooray's gay Lawrence. - Oh yeah. - He has stepped it up with some fake eyelashes. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. - Gosh. - Well, let's wrap up a few other things at this party. Let's talk quickly about Marlow and her love for Old White Men. - Yeah, now I, that was an interesting panel. - Michael Fudliss gross, that guy was disgusting. - Why, 'cause he looked like he was-- - Really she fired that one. - I don't know, is that like-- - I actually thought he was actually a handsome older man. I mean, I wouldn't be into it on this. - He just looked short, but maybe anybody is short next to Marlow. - Oh yeah, I do wonder where they met. Like, how did that happen? - There must be like some pervy sight for like, Old White dudes with fetishes. - Yeah, for men dressed like women. - That must exist, right, honey? (laughing) - Hey, shut up. (laughing) - Now what about Marlow denying that she said the F word and I don't mean fuck. - Well, I say good for her. How else are you gonna fight that fight? - Just say, deny, deny. - What, what, deny, deny, deny and hope that the editors leave that on the cutting room floor? - She, I mean, she had a look on her face like she knew. - Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot, we charge you a little. So naturally, when they announce they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. That's right, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. 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Shop the device now at amazon.com/echokids. - She knew she had said it and actually what I sort of think is that maybe she had forgotten that she had said it and then when this all came up, she was like, "No, I didn't say that." But then as she's saying, "No, I didn't say that." She's trying to realize, "Oh wait, I think I said that." You know, she was not tenacious in that fight. She just sort of laughed it off and then just-- - Well, her original defense was, "Oh, I was just talking." Which means that-- - (laughs) - Which means that yes, but I was fighting with Shirei so I can say whatever I want. No jury would convict me. - Let me ask you guys this. Do you think that Shirei is having to stir the pot with this Marlowe and the F-bomb Lawrence situation and also with kind of throwing candy under the bus with Kim because she has nothing else going on and she's trying to give herself some screen time and make sure that she's on the cast next year? - I don't think she's doing it for screen time. I think she's doing it because that's just what Shirei is. I mean, the candy stuff was really bizarre. I think the Marlowe stuff with Lawrence, that honestly-- - That's legit thing to bring up with someone like Lawrence and I feel like that was not really like stirring the pot. That was her being like, "Oh my God, did you hear this crazy thing that your friend Marlowe said?" You know, but-- - Yeah. - Well, she's, I think she is doing it for air time because look, last season they tried to let Shirei date and that was embarrassing to all of us. - Her mansion is still not being built. - Her mansion is still a hall on the ground. She has no job. - She's an underground mansion. - She's already tried to act. She's already tried to, what else did she, oh, she bought Shirei. - She's starting right. - So at this point, she's got nothing to do. - There's really nothing left for Shirei except for her to talk about her bad knees, okay? Like, I think next season the arc is gonna be that she goes to physical therapy or something. - Fourth time, fourth time. - You gotta love Shirei though because she walks into that party and she's like, "I have to open the door for myself, okay." And then she goes in. - And then she still is queen bee. I'm sorry, I will forever love her and I think she's actually looking better this season because Marlowe is like, took on the-- - Manless-- - Tranny role. - Yeah. - So like, Shirei is looking glam. - Yeah, she is. - She is. - Even with her bad knees. - Yeah, even with her bad knees. And I do love that she showed up two and a half hours late that everyone was just sitting around. She's like, "Oh, is this what the part is like? "I'm bored after five minutes." (both laughing) You know, there was a helicopter, no poets. You know, of course, she'll be bored. - I loved her. I think she's so funny. And then just the look of joy on her face when Marlowe was getting confronted, she's just smiling and smiling. And then when Marlowe said, "No, I didn't." So I guess she did and they started doing that weird noise fight thing they do again. - What is that? - Ooh, ooh, ooh. - That was awesome. - It was one of the strangest moments in all of reality TV history, I have to say. - Well, when they were in Africa and they started doing that screeching. - Ooh, it was strange. - It was a real, strange primal moment. Why wasn't Phaedra at the party? Why do you think she's cutting into her cadaver? - Can we talk about that? Because when, like, okay, I can understand if you become a mortician and you have like a career change, but aren't you terrified? Like, I'm gonna get cremated. Like, Phaedra has made me decide cremation is the way to go because how can a mortician, who's not even really a mortician, be given a scalpel and be told, go ahead and cut into these bodies? - Well, how does that work? - First of all, it wasn't a real body. - They're gonna let her do it tomorrow. - It's gonna happen, yeah, it's gonna happen. - How can she know how to use a scalpel? - 'Cause she probably brought, like, a nice, like hummingbird cake beforehand. I was like, girl, I just made this cake. Why don't you let him have gotten that body? (laughing) - 'Cause Southern Bells can solve everything with a hummingbird cake. - She probably says it was like, I don't know. The way to get into any mortician's heart is to come with a cake. So I brought a cake. - You know the things. - And now I want a hummingbird cake from Doughboys. - Oh, yeah. - Well, you know Phaedra bot makes a mean hummingbird cake? - Sure it does. - How does anybody learn, you guys? They just, you know, you have to practice. - Yeah. - And they're dead. It's not like they're gonna be in pain. - That's exactly what they're gonna think of it right. - Yeah. - Practice makes perfect. - You people are crazy. - I would be honored to be a mom. - You'd be honored to be cut up by Phaedra. - Yeah, except I don't think she'd be able to because I'll probably be buried in like a Jewish cemetery. - And that cemetery doesn't allow black people? - Well, no, I think you need to have some sort of like Jewish training to do that. And also you don't-- - She don't put a pastor. - And you don't have to, and you don't put makeup on the dead bodies. Oh, you know, if she went through the Jewish training, then hell yeah, I would want her to bomb me. But I don't think you really have to bomb with Jewish bodies 'cause you don't like show them. - If I ever make enough money to make this product, I wanna have a product that's hooked up to your heart like a little chip. And when you die, it knows that you're dead, and it just explodes you in your house. So like, your computer, all the porn files on your computer, everything's gone. No one has to bury you. No one has to come clean up or see you all dead. - Does it get rid of your naughty drawer? - Yes, yeah, it explodes everything. - Of course, Ronnie wants to blow himself up. He's half Middle Eastern. (laughing) - I'm clutching my purse all the way. - Matt just gassed over here. (laughing) - I'm having a brief and a camp moment. - This is not a PC podcast, and I'm still getting a virgin. - By the way, I said that tongue in cheek for anyone who thinks I'm truly racist, although I guess it's too late now. - I think that ship has sailed. - That ship has sailed into the Persian Gulf. - Okay, let's move on to Top Chef. - Yes, speaking of terrorism. (laughing) - Let's talk about Sarah. - Speaking of things that make me wanna blow up, Sarah. - Sarah, still crying. - She cursed off Emerald, that's what came out. Okay, so let's get to the bottom of this. - Okay, so the reading pretty much charts off, and Andy Cohen confronts Sarah and says, rumor has it that you cursed off. You said fuck off to one of the judges. And Sarah's like, I never said that. I would never say that. I can't believe that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. And I have so much respect for Emerald. I would never say that to Emerald. - So she essentially is like-- - No, I mentioned Emerald's name. - Right, okay, so she essentially convicted herself on the spot right there because nobody was saying what judge it was until she brought that up. But here's my thing, do you really believe that this does not exist on camera somewhere? 'Cause I want that footage. Fuck, what is this Top Chef behind the scenes fake kitchen shit? - I wanna see when Sarah talks shit on Emerald. - Yeah, it's gotta have happened somewhere. - Last chance kitchen might have happened. - They probably didn't air it because it's like a happy moment for Paul, and they don't wanna sell you it with this. - Yeah, but that would be amazing TV. - I think they would show it. - Andy Cohen is a whore for ratings. Come on. - Well, that was a massive failure. - It wasn't just Ruby and Tate like five minutes after the show ended because Beverly was still almost saying clothes. So yeah, I noticed that she was still in her little Tweety Bird booby showcasing dress. So I was wondering, 'cause you know, Andy does not give a crap about Top Chef. He probably doesn't even watch that show. He only watches housewives. He doesn't care about Top Chef. They didn't even do reunions for some of the season. So I'm wondering if he just like said, okay, you know, we're on break from watch what happens live. You guys just stay here. - Well, I actually think that they only did the reunion this year because so many people hated Heather and Sarah. - Yeah. - They're not been like two bitch fucking villains. I would have not gone there. - Guys, I think there's been a reunion for almost all the seasons. - I think one or two didn't have it. But anyway, the point is they had drama going on this season. That's why they did it. But let's talk about Heather because she is still just a big old bulldozer. - Bit, bitchy bulldozer. I got tangled up in the operation. - Once they showed the clips of how a fucking obnoxious Beverly is, I don't really blame Heather. - What a mouth bitch. - You better watch your mouth, bitch, because it's-- - Beverly was so annoying and always in the way and came out with a total insecure idiot. So I was on forehead there being like, you know, she does need, you know, some confidence. So no, I don't know we're an apology. - No, no, but she threw her own teammate under the bus for no reason when they were on a winning team. - They were working together and they had already won. - It's obnoxious and she questioned her work ethic. And also Beverly is great. So to summarize, Ronnie thinks MJ is hot. Things Gigi is ugly and things Beverly is awful. So clearly Ronnie is smoking something over there. I heard something-- - That really is awful. - You're sitting there in the reunion and instead of just saying, you know, I understand that sometimes people are bitchy and yeah, I hurt my feelings, but I got over it. No, she has to sit there and be a fucking victim the whole time. - Well, she was a fucking victim. - She is a victim of getting ready. - Oh, no, get over it. Get over yourself. You know, you see yourself on TV, have some pride. It's less-- - She wasn't a victim 'cause she wasn't sitting there. She was trying to be very tactful and understand. She was just saying, I did feel that sometimes like people were gang up on me. She wasn't like, they said this and they did that. - And if Gail calls you a class act, you're a class act. - You are. You can't deny that. - You can get higher praise than Gail calling you classy. - Yes. - Gail dresses herself. - Oh, Padma-- - That's all I have to say about Gail's face level. - Only yet we start on Padma's outfits. - Yeah, the Padma's outfit. - Oh, she's horrible. - I have a couple of anything. - I'm sorry, she can pull up. She has weird outfit sometimes, but Padma is so flawless. - Padma almost made me like her more than Gail because of that clip where they were showing just behind the scenes clips of shooting a really long time and Padma just starts the-- - The slow clap and everyone's stressed out and confused and she goes, "Congratulations." - They're all, we have to give them credit. They're all drinkers. They all-- - Yeah. - Like as soon as they walk into any of these parties, Padma's like, "Well, let's stop by the bar "before we try some barbecue." Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. I mean, I think that they have a fun time on their show. - I love Padma. - I love Padma. - It's been reported that Padma smokes up before all of the scenes. - Yeah, that was the big thing. - I'm going to see it. - I'm going to see it. - She getting Charlize there and definitely did before that episode. - Yeah, they're probably on to Peter's stash a little bit. - I know. That's like the Bravo pot bank. - Oh, I like, that sounds like a good show. - It's the pot bank, you can totally see that it's like, it's going to take place at like one of these, like, medical marijuana dispensaries. Pot bank. - Pot bank. - With the head tone. - Okay, this is boring, but Malibu Chris ended up winning viewers' favorite. - I was pissed off at that. - Well, it was stupid. They gave it to him on Watch What Happens later that night, but he was campaigning, which I think is lame. - I don't think, I don't know anyone who liked that guy. Like, anyone who like had really an opinion one way or another. - Or he thought that he was uber-talented. He was so middle to pack. - He was just, he was so, yeah, so average. I mean, I was-- - He was as bland as one of Jamie's scallops. - Ooh, that was insidery right there. - Can I tell you something? I went to her restaurant yesterday, which one? - Because she shuts five of them a year. - Oh, smack. - Yeah, her one on Fairfax clothes. - Yeah, vaudeville gone. - Beachwood. - Beachwood, she fucked up. Now where is she? - Wolf's Lair, and there's the second time I've been there and I like it. - Really? - Yeah, I like it. I think she finally found her calling, which is sausage, ironically. - Where scallops are not in the menu. (laughing) There had to have been a scallop on the menu. - I don't think I saw it, it's German, it's German. No, it's actually, it's tasty, it's, I really, I've been there-- - Do you like Jamie's sausage? - I like Jamie's sausage. - Okay. - I like what she has on display, but she does shut things down. - On display. - Well, on display. - I hope she hasn't shut down Wolf's Lair. It's a beer garden, it's fun. - No, it is fun, but she'll probably find some way to ruin it because that's her ammo. - Well, she's winning me over with Wolf's Lair. - Okay. - I hope that that girl who almost won Top Chef gets her own show. - Which one? - The girl who keeps crying. - It was so hard not to win Top Chef, I think I should've won. - The person that deserves a spinoff is Grayson because she is just body and-- - You know what, hilarious. - This is what we need to do. We need to have a season called Top Chef Bitches, and they take all the bitches from all the past seasons and put them all together. - Love it. - You get Jamie, you get Sarah, you get Heather, you get that one. Remember that one, really, really bitchy. - Tiffany, oh, I like Tiffany. Tiffany wasn't a bitch. - You know what, she wasn't a bitch. - Well, she was the villain. She was not the black Tiffany, the redhead Tiffany. - Oh, Tiffany. - She's beautiful. - Tiffany, Tiffany, the red hair is terrible. - Do you remember that one, really lesbian? She was really butch lesbian. She was the season with Richard Blaise. She made it to the finals. - Oh, yes. They called her like Fleeza, Lisa. - Oh, Lisa? She was a huge, but they just get all those bitches and get them all together and see what happens. I think that would be fantastic. - Oh, and you know what, watch what happens live. I have to say this before we end. Fuck and watch what happens live. Can I just say, stop stealing our shit and never saying TV chasm. 'Cause the name Huna Brow comes from TV chasm. - Does it really? - Alejandra, yes, and he even tweeted at us and said something nice about his name when we were recapping that. And poor little Alejandra didn't even get a shout out. So, Andy Cohen, you better stop stealing shit. - That's bullshit. - Don't be getting too sassy with Andy Cohen, we need him to hire all of us. - Yeah, we need Andy Cohen. - But that guy, he's not gonna hire us. He's gonna start another podcast about all bravo stuff. And he's gonna put Sarah Jessica Parker on his mat and then he's gonna put Tyne Daily on his me. And then he's gonna put on Rick Moranis's B-side and call it a day and make a million dollars. - That would be the best. - I'm like, okay, they could do that. I would totally like listen. Let's just stop this podcast and have a Tyne Daily Rick Moranis and Sarah Jessica Parker podcast. That sounds fantastic. Do I look like a horse? I don't look like a horse. So, let's look quickly as we wrap up. One of the things we're excited about, we've got a few things. - Okay, well, let's talk about things that we're not excited about. - Okay. - Ronnie, is the love broker not the worst show you have ever seen? - No, I think it was better than Shaz. - Oh, shut your mouth. We're not even talking to you anymore. - Okay, Ronnie's love, Ronnie, that's supposed to be. - Okay, the point is, love broker needs to be canceled immediately and this backdoor pilot for the candy factory, come on. - I didn't see it, I was in Paris. - I love, okay, now we're not talking to you. - I love candy, she's a great housewife. - Yes. - Cantney is not a big enough of a personality to hold her own fucking show. - But I like watching her work. - I like her watching her work with Jodie Messina when she goes down country. - Yeah. - All right, she's not gonna hold her own show, I'm sorry. - All right, what about interior therapy? Are we gonna go there? I think it's gonna be fun. - I don't know, I mean, I guess I'll check it out. To me, it looks the same as flipping out. - It kind of is, but as long as Jenny Poulos is there, who cares? - Well, I think she's a little high on herself these days. - Yeah. - When I met her at the Fox Reality Awards years and years ago, she was so nice, she was so nice. Now she seems a little naughty. - Shut up, are we all there? - Are we all there, we didn't realize? - Was that the one on the Avalon? - Probably. - At Avalon on the top of Avalon. - I met her there also. - I was sitting with her and Jeff. - She was so nice. - Oh, I didn't watch the awards, I was outside by the ice cream machine the whole time. - Oh, I was in the shower. - I went up to the bar area. - Me too. - Yeah, I met Gina. - Gina was that? Yeah, okay. - I met some, I met so many songs. - Oh, I didn't even watch those shows then, but I hung out with Johnny Bananas the whole time and got drunk. - Johnny Bananas. Anywho, I'm gonna watch interior therapy, I'm excited, I love Jeff, it's the other highest rated show behind Housewives of Atlanta. So I think there's gonna be a following there. - I love Jeff. - He's a freak, he's an asshole. I mean, it's-- - I think he's actually nice. - He's great for TV. - I don't think he's actually as much of an asshole. - No, he plays it up. - I think he's actually like very funny and nice and he's dry and he gets agitated, but I don't think he's an asshole. - No, no, I don't think he's an asshole for TV, which makes for great TV. - Yes. - Which means he's genius. - Speaking of assholes on TV, I'm excited for the second part of the fight on OC. - I want Gretchen to eviscerate Vicky. Like I am rooting for Vicky to go down. - She should just spray Nair in her face. See what happens. - Wait, what second part, that fight's not over? - No, it's gonna last for seven or episodes, Ronnie. - I'm just starting Ronnie. - God. - You're already over on OC. - I hope the love broker is a super sad deficit. - It's like we're signed this cosigno. - You know, Ronnie, you need to take a pill and get back in sync with us, okay? Because this is out of control. - I know, this is true. - Whatever, bad people haters. - Oh my God, this is team just, whatever. You need to get it together. - This is our potential volume part. - Shah's of sunset is brilliant genius TV. - It is. - You guys, Shah's of sunset is hurtful to our nation. - How, how? - 'Cause it makes white people look bad, it makes immigrants look bad, it makes old people look way better than they are. - How does it make white people look bad? - Because then we all sound racist when we talk about it. - Because white people are making it, and white people are the ones talking about it the next day making racist jokes. - It makes Jews look bad, you know, because I wish Survivor was on Bravo. Oh my God. - Oh, that kid, don't get me started. - Oh my gosh. - Yeah, that's not part of the Watch What Crapin's Brand, but we should be able to talk about that one. - We need to, we need to somehow make it part of the brand. Well, he's gay, so that sort of makes it part of the Watch What Crapin's Brand. - I guess so, I mean, if any of our viewers out there that are listeners out there would like us to talk about other shows as well on another podcast, let us know. We could do the, well, you know, we could do the CBS podcast. We're talking about amazing race, big brother, survivor, and we are definitely doing something for-- - It should one day. Oh, you know what, while we're here, let me say one thing to people listening. I love reading comments on iTunes, so thank you everybody who subscribes at Leave's comments, 'cause that's really awesome. But I wanna do address one of the comments that says, we sound like we're so above watching Bravo. - What? - It's not that we're above watching Bravo, it's that sometimes we feel like we should be and we're not. - No, we're not, that's a problem. - We're so below. - We're so below, and the problem is we love it too much. - Yeah, I mean, look, we're talking an hour, and we're still so excited and happy. - And we're not getting paid for this, people. We're just doing it for the love. - Yeah, and while we're wrapping up, Ronnie, someone wrote a comment. You might wanna, like, give an update on TV guys, and I think you guys are having some website issues. Do you wanna give the readers an update on your site to make them feel okay? - What does someone say on your site? - Someone said, somewhere along the way, saying, I love the podcast, but what the hell's going on on TV guys on these days? So I thought you might wanna-- - Oh, okay, well, we got hacked a couple of weeks ago by some little Indonesian brat, some Indonesian, basically blackmailing us and saying he wanted us to run ad code on our site for free. So anyway, we had bad security, and that took us down for a couple of days, and while they rebuild our site to be a nice, secure site that looks like our other one with all the functionality, right now we're just using a regular WordPress theme. So all the writing, all the recaps are still there, all the writers are still there. We're all still generating a ton of content every day. It just looks different. It looks a lot-- - Hurry the fuck up. - It looks ghetto. Well, unfortunately, I don't design that stuff, you know? So I can't really do anything that makes me-- - No, I'm not hurry up with this spiel, not with fixing the site. Matt's getting-- - Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, you asked me about anything like that. If you give me a chance to complain about something, we'll be here 'til tomorrow. - Okay, and running first. - And running first. - Your site is up and running, and it'll-- - But we're up and running, yeah, yeah, we're still around. We just took a little busted. - And we can follow you on Twitter at what? - You can follow @tvgasm or me personally @flippet. - And then Matt is at-- - Life on the M-less. - And I'm at beside blog, and then this podcast is at, what crappins? - Formally, W-W-W crappins. - W-W crappins is-- - No more. - No more. Now it's just what crappins? - What crappins? - What crappins? - Okay. - And we should give a shout out to all of our friends at SideShow Networks. - Yeah, SideShow Network, who's been carrying this podcast for some doing the back end stuff for us, and all the readers and listeners. - Yes, and we'll see you guys-- - You guys want me to talk more about WordPress themes? - No, we're done. Stop talking. We're gonna talk more about Shaz of Sunset, and you can drop off. - Yeah. (laughter) - Anywho, we'll be back next week. We will talk about the Real Housewives of Orange County. We're gonna see where this fight goes. We'll obviously have another episode of Shaz of Sunset, the groundbreaking new amazing program. More Atlanta, and maybe some Bethany if we're feeling it, and maybe-- - Maybe Bethany, maybe some interior, whatever. - Yeah, we'll see what else happens if there's anybody-- Oh, there's amazing guests on Watch What Happens Live this week, like amazing hot messes. Just get ready. - I don't know what's a secret, 'cause I can't remember, but they're amazing. - Well, you know what I'm gonna have to do? I'm just gonna have to watch What Crap It. - What's Big Ange, Big Ange's on? - Well, there you go. That's all you need to know. All right, everyone, thanks so much for listening. Another fun time. - Thanks, everyone. - Bye, guys. - Bye. - If you like Watch What Crap It's, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. - Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who'll fight like hell to keep you out of jail? - We defend and we fight, just like you'd want your own children to defend it. - Whether you're facing a drug charge, caught up on a murder app, accused of committing war crimes, look no further than Paul Bergrin. - All the big guys go to Bergrin, 'cause he gets everybody off. - You name it, Paul can do it. Need to launder some money, broker a deal with a drug cartel, take out a witness? From Wondery, the makers of Dr. Death and over my dead body, comes a new series about a lawyer who broke all the rules. - Doesn't it funny how witnesses disappear or how evidence doesn't show up or somebody doesn't testify correctly? - In order to win, at all costs. - If Paul asked you to do something, it wasn't a request, it was an order. - I'm your host Brandon James Jenkins. Follow Criminal Attorney on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Criminal Attorney early in that free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast.
Shahs of Sunset, Anniversaries on Atlanta, and Top Chef Reunion
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