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That's audible.com/crapins or text Crapins to 500-500. - This episode of Watch Where Crapins is brought to you by GameFly. Go to GameFly.com/forward-ha-ha for your free 15-day trial. (upbeat music) - Watch it, watch it. (upbeat music) Watch it, watch it. (upbeat music) - Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crapins. A podcast that's devoted exclusively to all things Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from v-sideblog.com and joining me are Ronnie Karam from tvgasm.com. - Hello. - And Matt Whitfield, features editor at yahoo.com. - Hey guys. - So, wow, we have a lot of Bravo to get through. Isn't that always the case? - Yeah, there is a lot of crap in this toilet. - A lot of crap. And we are the cyber plunger to get rid of it all. So, today we're gonna be talking about the real housewives of Orange County, the real housewives of Atlanta. And we'll talk about the season premiere of Bethany Ever After. We'll also get into Top Chef and some other stuff like Tabitha and Shahza Sunset and the new Love Doctor, whatever it's called. So, we're gonna touch on a bunch of different things today. Is everyone excited? - Yes. - I'm so excited. - And don't forget, coming up. - But we are Peasant. - The Persian version of Jersey Shore. But before we go to Persia, why don't we start in Orange County with the real housewives? - The fashions are just about the same. - They pretty much are a lot of gold, a lot of shininess. - Alexis Couture has really taken off, you guys. - Alexis Couture is very popular in Westwood, I hear. - It's all over Little Armanian, right? - They have really great restaurants in the OC. Don't knock it, don't knock it, Heather. - Oh, well, let's just start right there. 'Cause that's a very funny point that you brought up. Let's talk about Heather on last night's episode. I am continually going back and forth on whether or not I sort of love this high maintenance bitch or think she's just a high maintenance bitch. What do you guys think? - Well, you know, while I was watching her, I just watched this episode last night. And while I was, oh, it was just Tom last night. - Yes, it was. - Well, while I was watching her, I thought, you know, I love these shows because idiots are so proud of being fucking obnoxious. I mean, that woman thinks she is so charming and she is so fucking obnoxious. Someone has to have told her over the course of her life that she's got to stick up her ass. - The funny thing is the husband, you know, she makes it out like the husband is the asshole in the relationship and it's so the other way around. - She, the husband seems great. I love the guy. He seems like really funny and approachable and nice. - Well, you marry an old man comic from the Catskills what do you expect? It's like, it's not like you married Brad Pitt, all right? You married some old rich dude and now you have to deal with it. - Yeah. - I'm also convinced that had the waitress at the restaurant handed her the menu closed. She would have made a fit about that as well. Like, oh, what, you're not going to open it for me, bitch? - Yeah, you know, when she made that whole stink about the menu, at first I was like, who the fuck does this bitch think she is? She used a menu closed, but what it comes to her? But then she kind of like stated her case very well. And that was an example of me going back and forth. I was like, oh, you know, I sort of like what I like, I like where she's coming from on that, you know? But maybe I'm just crazy. - No, I don't because I'm a waiter, so I do not approve. Okay, listen, she's technically right. Yes, when someone sits down, you should not just hand them the menu open, but they're trying to, they're assuming that you're more on it, that you can't open the menu. - Which is true for money these women probably. - It is true that when you see someone like her come into your restaurant and sit down, you know that she's going to be a pain in the ass. That bitch is lucky, I wasn't her waiter. I would have bought her whole meal. I would have just been like, welcome, here's your salad. Your entree, get the hell out of here as fast as you can. I don't want to put up with that crap. - That wait staff has got to have been happy that there were cameras there, because you know if Bravo cameras were out there, I should have sent back that sea bass about five different times. - Well, Ronnie, let me ask you this as a category expert. If I had walked into a restaurant and asked for a skinny piece of fish, could I have gotten one? 'Cause she didn't get what she ordered. - A skinny piece of fish, you know. You know what I would have done? I would have said, sure. And then I would have, when that order came up, I would have just cut it with a butter knife. Now granted, that's more than that waiter did. - Well, you know what's funny, I mean, her whole rationale is she wanted a skinny piece of fish because when you steam it, sometimes in the middle, it's not quite cooked. Well, how about you go-- - She wanted a skinny piece of fish 'cause she is a skinny piece of fish. - She is a skinny piece. She's a walking eel, basically. But basically, if you want your fish cooked properly, go to good restaurants, of which there apparently are none. - There are none in the OC because everybody's name is Timree and they're painting students. - Look, this woman sold her womb for a lot of money to some old guy and now she's not important and famous like she wants to be. So she tortures waiters and anybody else in her way. So she can make them feel poor in herself rich. It's typical, it happens with every rich asshole and living in LA. - I've dealt with plenty of them. I want her out of my restaurant. I don't care about her tip. And I'm gonna yell per ask. - We should really dare. - If we should really have some sort of like organized Orange County protests and have it at her doorstep, set up a tent. - We need to take a, we need a road trip down to the OC. I've never experienced this. We should go on an OC restaurant tour. - Wait, have you, well, it's gonna be a bad restaurant tour 'cause there's no good restaurants in the OC. They haven't even listened to-- - Excuse me, I don't trust anything Alexis says. - No, no, no, no, no, Alexis was the one who said there were good restaurants. - Yeah, Alexis was like, "Do you forget about apple beans?" Because-- - That's exactly what I was thinking. - 'Cause those buffalo wings are amazing. - She's like, "Wild West buffalo wings." (laughing) Yeah, you know when I actually kind of loved it when Vicki kind of like shook her head, which she was doing pretty much all episodes. You're doing that little sort of very tightly shaking head and going, "No, no, no good restaurants in the OC." You have to go up to LA. It's like, "Wow, even Vicki concedes "there are no good restaurants." - Well now that Vicki has a high class boyfriend from the Bayou who has business up in LA, she gets to go up to the Ivy. She's so classed. - I don't know, so far Vicki's doing pretty well in the food front. She was the one who introduced high-low culture to the girls and the girls did not get it. So, so far she, you know, and she does have a point. I mean, you do have to go to LA for the good restaurants unless you wanna go to, like, like Ronnie said, Applebee's or Claim Jumper or-- - Oh, that's a shame. - I love a comeback. I do love me a blooming onion though. - Well, those ladies don't understand anything. You give 'em crawfish and they're like, "I trash bag full of fish." - You get, you take 'em to a painting party and they were all acting like she was asking them to come over and paint her house. - No, they were, no, they were like, "Do I need to bring the overalls bitch? "I don't paint your house." - No, let's, let's get real. They were acting as if they had just been asked to put together an iPod or something like that. Like, I don't know how to paint. I mean, you know what you do? You dip a brush in some paint. I think you swipe around a little bit on the canvas. And you know what? You know what's really disturbing to me? I'm just realizing as I speak about this, because of this episode last night, I had a dream that I was in a painting class painting shit. That's how much the show is getting into my subconscious. - I think that we should podcast from Color Me Mine next week. I think that they should hook us up without sponsorship. - I think we should find Timree, if that's even her real name. - Okay, let's just discuss that. Vicki is the biggest bitch on the face of the earth. I know, like, why not just drop it? I mean, she was just like, you know, okay. - Was your mother drinking? I mean, she said, she doesn't know this one, she said, was your mother drinking when she named you in the hospital? - I know. (laughing) - Well, she's right, that is such a made up name, but it's like another thing that they just can't understand. If it's not white bread and watching TV, you know, and drinking wine out of a box, they do not understand. Painting, crawfish, what's your name? - Tim, what? - Well, to be fair, you do have to question anyone named Timree, who has like a little painting studio in Orange County. I mean, you know. - She probably charged them $90,000, so I'm like, steal their money, you go girl. - You know, there's gotta be a backstory to that though. Some failed RISD girl who had to go back to Newport Beach to live with her parents and opened up a tiny, some tiny little studio for little kids and probably gets wasted at a bar at Huntington Beach at night. I got it all planned out, Timree. - Well, I love that everyone's so shocked by a stupid name in California. Like, where have you been living? You know, you've never heard the name Timree before. You've never heard a made up BS name before? - Yeah, exactly. - And you know what, Timree, to be honest, was hardly that like hippy and crazy. She seemed like a relatively normal person, despite my little backstory I just made for her. - So I love that we're into this podcast and all we're talking about are the name of the-- (laughing) - Timree. - Timree. - Timree. - Timree. - And waiter etiquette. (laughing) - That's pretty much what it all comes down to, you know? - Well, let's talk about Vicky's head spinning around in circles when she got jealous with Gretchen and Tamara becoming faux new besties. - Ah, that was great. I kind of feel like Gretchen and Tamara are almost acting like besties because they know it's gonna piss Vicky off so much and it's too funny to watch. - Well, and watch what happens afterwards, Tamara admitted that they were trying to get under Vicky's skin, but you know, they were joking, but Vicky is honestly upset. - That's a lot of leathery skin to get under, I'll tell you. (laughing) - Well, they're doing, you know, we owe them some thanks because last year, Vicky was on the moral high road the whole time and that's not a trip I wanna take with Vicky. - That's not a road that's good. - Vicky crazy and screaming. I want potholes in that road. - I have to-- - Vicky upset. - I do have to say, I love Vicky when she has that shock face. When her mouth, when her jaw drops and she her eyes bulge and her head, it sort of like vibrates left and right. It's not really a shake. It's just like a minor movement, you know? She sort of looks like a dog that's been like squirted in the face with a water gun or something like that. (laughing) - You mean with a seven-year-old Blanca gun? - Yes. Oh, I forgot to, I have to load up my seven-year-old Blanca for this podcast. Shoot it right in my mouth. That's not a really bad. - That's what she said. (laughing) - I think last week we had a balls reference and now, uh. - So do you guys think that Tamara and Gretchen are real friends? What's going on? Do you go sex shopping with your friends? When are we going to the hustler store? Go. - Well, I find these so interesting because on these shows, none of these women are friends. - Yes. - You know, when they start the new season, they're like, "Hey, I haven't seen you for six months." I'm like, these shows are basically like, here's a group of people that you hate. Now, have fun hanging out for six months and see what happens. - I'm not sure it's as drastic as that. I don't think that they're close. I think these girls, more or less, are like acquaintances. And so they are sort of happy to see each other when they first walk into a room. I get the sense that Gretchen and Tamara are, you know, I think they're okay now. I don't think they'll be besties, but I feel like there's a lot of butte going on between them. So, Mazeltov. Mazeltov to dumb blondes like each other. - Okay, but can Alexis and Vicki now be a tag team to take on Tamara and Gretchen? I don't think Vicki's having any of that shit. - Well, it looks like Alexis wants that. Alexis got super passive aggressive. They were blaming Vicki for being passive aggressive. It was Alexis who was the one making jokes about the bracelet with the lock, whatever. I'm like, sure you're fucking out. - Well, the best joke she was making were towards Heather. When Heather was trying to be an uptight classic, but she doesn't talk about the sex that she had, the sex that she doesn't have with her husband. Alexis called her ass out. - Alexis actually made me laugh. Like, it's very rare that Alexis can make me laugh 'cause I find her to be incredibly vapid with a bad sense of humor. But when they were talking about, I guess Alexis made some self-deprecating joke about like painting not being her strong point, or Heather said that. And then Alexis said, well, what is your strong point? And Heather's like, well, acting. I used to run an 18 piece big band orchestra or something like that. And Alexis is like, your strong point is acting. And just, she just cracked herself up. And I was like, you know what, Alexis? I'm with you on that one. - Like as he said, who says that? - Yes. - A strong point is acting. - Meanwhile, Alexis is probably like my strong point is anchoring for Fox five. - Oh my God, I love when they show. Are you more like, what did they say? Are you more like Barbara Walters or Katie Currick? And the look of confusion on her face that her name isn't Katie Curret is what's hilarious. - She's like, who? Who now and what now? - Aren't you secretly though, Team Alexis? I mean, last week, she was actually right when she was like, Peggy, I don't have time to talk to you. And then this week, she puts Heather in her place. I thought it was, I'm like, I'm secretly some Alexis. Okay, just because Alexis has been able to string together two coherent non-idiotic points does not make her a wonderful person. Okay, most people could do that in five minutes time. It shouldn't take a season and a half or two seasons to have finally two salient points. - Okay, well don't get me wrong, I still hate Tamara with all of my being. And let's talk for a second about her fight with Eddie because last night on that episode, she realized that she could lose the hottest piece of ass she's ever had and she lost her shit. - Yeah, but didn't we? - But I think she also realized that she's kind of with the controlling ass. - Yeah, I'd like to say, didn't we see echoes of Simon all of a sudden? - He wasn't throwing a dog leash at her head, come knock, come down. - Not yet. - Not yet. - First he's saying, I think we should stop drinking. At which point you can see Tamara had this look on her face like, I'm waiting for you to say, just kidding. Please say it, you know. She's like, I'm gonna need a glass of champagne to digest that order. - For those people, for those of you who didn't watch, here was their post fight conversation. Remember how we had that fight last night? I'm really sorry about that. - Yeah, I just don't like you letting guys touch your boob. - Yeah, but I don't like you touching Vicki's boob. - All right, we're over it, right? - Yeah, we're over it. - I don't like you letting guys touch your boob. - I don't like you letting Vicki touch you. - All right, we're over it, right? Yeah, let's stop drinking. I don't like when guys touch your boob. I was like, are these guys fucking kidding? Stop the loop, despite it's ridiculous. Does anybody honestly believe that that hot piece of "Man Me" is after Vicky's cement filled, scarred ass hot hole boobies? No. - Oh, you forgot the most important part where Tamara the entire time was sick and almost vomiting into Eddie's mouth. - Oh, well, the best part is the way the scene opened. The scene opened with the camera on a bathroom and then Tamara comes out and is like, whoo, it's like, oh, he just has a diarrhea. - She smells like diarrhea and vomit and then she's cuddling up on her man. - Yeah, well, I like that she's like, you know what, I don't care that you were touching, Vicky, I was drunk. And then all she's like, just don't touch Vicky. It's like these two, it's like the rules, the parameters that they have set, it's gonna lead to dog leash throwing. I'm telling you right now. - Well, no man fixes a problem with me by suggesting I stop drinking. I mean, that's a ticket out the door right there. - Oh, it's beyond a red flag, it's a deal breaker. - Yeah, it's like, I'm sorry, you can't be sober and on the Real Housewives of any franchise. It just does not work out that way, so. - You know what's also a deal breaker? If my man thinks that he's a stand up comedian when he's not. - Oh yeah, Slade. We're gonna see a lot of that next week, on next week's episode. But yes, Slade got an opportunity to do a bit at the improv, which this has to be the improv of Anaheim or wherever it is, 'cause I do not really know. - This is not Sunset Strip, this is not-- - This is not on Melrose Avenue, this is-- - It was. - No, it was. - It was, yes, it was. It was, 'cause I got emails inviting me to go from somebody. I don't even know who it was. - We need a wall between Orange County and LA, not between Mexico and Texas. - Yeah, I think that's a great point. We need customs. - I will be border patrol. - Can we have an embargo? - They're in a bargain. They're not taking our jobs, but goddamn it, they're embarrassing. - They're taking our comedy. (laughing) - Slade is taking our comedy hosting jobs, by the way. - Well, next week we find out Brianna has cancer. - Okay, can cancer please be in real life how it is on the housewives? Because cancer just sounds awesome on the housewives. It's like, oh my God, I get some testimonials and a couple of weeks off work. The end, you know, it's like, and then they poop it out or something. I don't know how all this cancer just leaves these ladies, but cancer looks like the most awesome disease ever. - Unless you're Gretchen's, you know, dead husband. (laughing) - Oh, too soon, too soon. - I'm just saying it's not all, it's not all rosy. - Well, he could have died of lots of things, he was old. - He was like, wait a second, I'm on this awful show. I just give up. (laughing) - Well, I'm secretly like, I love Brianna, and I loved at the end of last year that she hated her mother for being evil to Don. And so I hope that they have like an awkward encounter at a chili's knockoff, where she tells her that she has cancer and then she throws some wine on her or something. By the way, though, getting back to Slade. So what do we think about this whole thing where, you know, they found out that, Slade and Gretchen found out that Vicky's new boyfriend Brooks has gone to jail twice for not paying child support, et cetera, et cetera. Slade got really fired up, which I understand. - How can you not agree with him? You have to agree with Slade. - You have to agree that makes up here's the truth. I mean, Vicky was saying he doesn't pay his child support or whatever. The real reason why Vicky doesn't like him is the same reason why everyone else doesn't like him. He's just a sleaze ball. I'm sorry, he's a sleaze ball and he's an asshole. - Excuse me, why is he a sleaze ball and an asshole? If we don't know the details of his financial situation with the ex-wife and the children, take that out of the equation. - I am taking it out of the equation. I'm basing it on what we've seen of him just on screen. Okay. He wants to be, he wants to be, he is a fame whore. Okay. And he's an asshole. And you know how, you know, I can tell he's an asshole? You watch season one and you see him being an asshole. And then you watch season two and you see him being an asshole. And then all of a sudden you watch like the latest few seasons where he's trying to be all funny and nice. And you're like, that's not who you are. You're just being an asshole. And then you watch last night's episode and you see when this guy gets under his skin, he becomes a real asshole about it. I mean, I admit it. - I said to go over you the same person, no. - Yes, I was. - Hey, who are you guys talking about? - Slade. (laughing) Yeah, that guy's an asshole. Sorry. I got sidetracked for a second. - You're so awesome. - That guy is horrible, he's an asshole. And now he's losing his looks. So it's going to be awesome because now he's just going to be plain mean. Like at least he had that going for him before. You're like, oh my God, well he's kind of hot. So at least he'll get me a boner. But now it's just gross. - He loses his looks. He'll be on Gretchen's level then because we saw her without makeup last weekend clearly. - Yeah, but I was going to say, she was looking great last night. She's been looking good all season, I have to say. Even with her strange teeth situation going on and you know. - You liked her side pony? - I did, yeah. - Can I just say one thought about Gretchen? I love how these ex-strippers are so holier than now once they stop stripping. I have a friend who used to be a stripper and once she quit, I mean this girl, anything you do, she's like, oh my God, the F word in public, I cannot believe you just did that. It's like bitch, you were rubbing your kuchy on old ass helicopter penis before. And now you're all churchy. What the hell, Gretchen? Every time anybody says anything sexual, she's like, I can't believe it. I can't believe she was talking about sex shops and all that. - No, Gretchen was okay with a sex shop talk. It was Heather who had the real issue. - Yeah, last night it was, what was, Gretchen was all pissy about something last night. - Sure, she was probably pissy about Alexis or whatever. So anyway, should we move on to Atlanta? How do we feel about moving on to Atlanta, speaking about former strippers? - Yes, Nini, let's go. - So this episode was episode three in our African adventure. And gosh, what happened on this episode? They just went on safari yet again. - The most important part is that Shirei in theory threw candy under the bus. - Oh yeah, yeah. That was a dumb argument, but you know what? But you know what though, it was kind of amazing because it was one of those dumb arguments that looks like it's going to just continually pop up and pop up and cause dumb ass drama for the next five episodes. - Okay, well I'm going to put this out there and this is a little scandalous right now, but I think that Cynthia does not like white people. - Really, why do you say that? - Because she was talking major shit on Kim during that safari ride and you know, they were not looking at the animals, they were talking about Kim. And candy and Cynthia kind of agreed with each other that like they couldn't see Kim at an African orphanage nor could they see her holding black babies. And I just thought that was really offensive. - Could be fair, can anybody, can anybody imagine Kim in act of holding up because she was white. - Can you see, can you see Nini at one of those orphanages in Louboutins and I mean, they all are ridiculous. - No, but I'm saying, you know, I don't think they were saying it because she was white and she was afraid of like black little babies, you know, like heart of darkness situation. I think it was because Kim can be a spoiled brat and she'd be like, I don't wanna get dirty, you know. And I don't, I think that would be the issue, not 'cause they're a little, I think she said, picking up little black babies, I don't think that she meant because they're a black, I think she's just using it as a descriptor, you know, sort of to be funny, you know. - I don't think, though. I don't think that candy thought, you know, Kim is racist, but I kind of got that air from like, I think that essentially Cynthia was calling Kim racist and in turn, as a white male. (laughing) - As a sensitive white male. - As a sensitive white male during Black History Month, it made me think that Cynthia was actually racist. - Oh, you guys, okay, look. First of all, yes, they were being racist and saying Kim would, they can't imagine this big blonde idiot with big giant fake boobs and a wig holding black babies. Okay, of course they were being racist and they're right. And of course, of course they were being racist because she's an idiot white girl. Most black girls don't like idiot white girls like Kim who fuck old dudes for money and come in on their territory trying to take them in that they could get when white women are already stealing all their men. Now they're stealing their money in Atlanta too. I don't blame them for hating Kim and I totally agree that it would be ridiculous watching Kim. It's like when I saw Miley Cyrus go to, I don't give back Africa tour or whatever. I was like, are you kidding? Your dad's sitting there in a weave and you guys are handing out little tiny tubes of toothpaste to these little kids. Where's their toothbrush? How stupid are white people? - I personally think, yes, it would be ridiculous to see Kim in an orphanage, which is why I hope that on her spin-off show, they do send her to Africa and they do send her to an orphanage because I would love to see what she will do. I think she'll probably pass out glasses of Chardonnay and bags of Chick-fil-A and cigarettes. - Pass out glasses of Chardonnay for her. - She'll sit on a little plastic folding chair. She has lounge and she'll be like, "Sweetie, sweetie, give us Chardonnay." - Wow. - You know what? I miss, I miss Kim. - Wow. - That thing needs to grow fast 'cause Kim needs to be drinking Chardonnay and smoking the cigarettes. It's not right when she's not doing that. - I know. And Kim's now all sort of like grounded and pleasant, which is sort of weird. I don't know what to do about it. - Well, Kim is with a young man, not a dirty old penis that's on an 80-year-old man. - I'd like to see Kim serenade the orphans too with some of her greatest hits, you know? - ♪ Ring me the thing ♪ (laughing) - Well, also, I think Kim is nice and calm now because she's famous and Nini's whole jealousy thing about Kim and being the prom queen and everybody loves Kim now. Yes, it's like the Bethany center them all over again. Here's Kim. She's become the most popular because Nini turned into a witchy cow over the past few seasons. So everyone hates her now. So now Kim's like the big star of the show. She got her own show. And Kim does act like she's a prom queen. - And you know, you become famous and you suddenly feel like you have to be classy all of a sudden. - Well, you know what? She also wound up in a good situation. I mean, the guy, he's a good looking guy. He seems really nice, he's rich. - He loves guns. - He has guns of both variety. So, you know, what does she have to be all like Diva about? She can just sit back and let the servants come to her. Although, I hear she and Sweetie no longer talk. Did one of you guys tell me that? - Yeah, she fired Sweetie. I guess that'll be coming up soon. - Good, you know, Sweetie is worthless, I'm sorry. She's totally worthless. - Maybe Kim is racist. God, she totally is. I hate her now. (laughing) - They're all racist. You know, the show is kind of racist if you think about it. It's like, let's show some African-American stereotypes. - I cannot wait for the time in this country when we can just hate each other without calling each other racist. - I agree. I agree. You know what's gonna help us do that? The shots of sunset. - Oh, yeah. That'll be the- - But we are bizarre. Wait, though, before we get the shots of sunset, though, what do you guys- - You talked about Marlowe doing candy on the floor. - What? - What? - They were sitting around talking about sex, after they looked at Marlowe's 29 pairs of shoes and then just started pumping everybody. - Oh, yeah, I was gonna talk about the medicine man, but we can talk about Marlowe at the sleepover. - I think I just talked about it. That's always, she doesn't deserve any more screen time. Let's talk about how Shiree is never gonna get married again because she's an old donkey. (laughing) - That medicine man was- - That's awesome. - I thought those women were gonna go off on that medicine man way more than they did. I mean, they looked like (laughing) they wanted to stab him in the eyeball. - Well, I think it's hilarious because the guy sits him down. He won't touch them because they're women. He'll only touch men. - And also 'cause he has good sense. I don't know if I would touch them either. - These women are so shocked at the backwards-ass politics. Like, when they had to go to that museum and the guy's like, yes, I see a pretty woman. I tell my father, oh, I like this woman. And my father go to fetch her. And they're like, so does she have a choice? No, she has no choice. She gets fetched. They're like, you can just, that's kidnapping, right? - I also liked how the women weren't allowed to touch like the little shells and the medicine. Although Marlowe should have been able to, 'cause as we all know, Marlowe is a man. So I don't see the problem there. But who was he telling was unhappy? Was it Nini? He was like, no, no, you're not happy. You're not happy. He's like, no, I am very happy. He's like, no, no, no, you're not happy. Marlowe's happy, you're not happy. - You don't have to be much of a psychic to see that she's a miserable bitch. - And then she got all mad. She wanted to prove that she was happy. It's like, you can't do that if you're on the show every single episode saying how you're quietly unhappy and trying to take care of that part of your life. (laughing) - I just like them calling Surya Hagg, or Surya Hagg, that was hilarious. - You're too old. (laughing) - I wish she'd gone off on him. I wish like, I wish old Surya was there. - But then I love in the same episode, she's like, I can't wait to get home. You know, I'm gonna get some home cooking. And they're like, from who, your mom? She's like, she better cook me a meal. - Oh, poor, poor, forever single Sury, waiting to get a mommy meal at home. - Yeah, and since she like 46, what's going on? - Maybe she should call up Dr. Tyine Mohammed, whatever his name was, and maybe we can build that affair. - I will put a bet out right now that he is the behind bars. - Yeah, I just hope that he gets that weird balding pattern in the middle of his hair fix. I think he had dreads for too long, and he now has like a Red Sea situation going down his scalp. (laughing) Look at me making jokes about a guy who was on a season ago. Very current, very current. It's like, oh guys, remember last year I forgot to make this joke. Let me just say it real quick. - Well, what about Marlowe trying to get everybody to be honest with her? And then Candy's like, well, all I was saying is that here we are in Africa, and all you're talking about are your shoes, and she's like, ♪ I don't care about bands ♪ - I was like, whoa, whoa, when did this turn into Red Skelton? (laughing) ♪ I love bands ♪ ♪ I'll cook my shoes ♪ ♪ All I want to ♪ ♪ I love fashion ♪ (laughing) ♪ I love fashion ♪ - And then none of the other women had the balls, and then we know half of them do have balls, to back Candy up. - Yeah. Well, Candy was left out there on her arm. - You gotta give a few props to Cynthia for having the restraint. I mean, Cynthia could have won up to Marlowe so many times, and she kept her mouth shut, you know? - She kept her mouth shut because she looks at Nina, and Nina is like, shut up dog. - Yeah, exactly, and also she's boring, so she won't open her mouth to say something interesting anyway. Although, what did you think about Cynthia hanging out with the Smalls, and then like kissing ass at the Talls? - She is a backstabbing to Timing Ho, and I just think she needs to get off the show because she does nothing but talk behind everybody's backs. - She does, I mean, exhibit A is two episodes ago when that whole fiasco with the dinner party and the restaurants, I mean, could it be more ridiculous? - She's a typical model idiot. She's just trying to be friends with everybody so that she can get along in life. It's not like she does anything else. The girl needs friends. - Not anything else? - She has an agency, Ronnie. She has a full-fledged agency. She's making Atlanta the fourth fashion capital of the world. - And her husband, Peter, has a thriving business in the ghetto? - Yes, with a oversized portrait of Cynthia on the wall. So, excuse me if I don't agree with you that she does. - Well, until P in the Pod becomes like the biggest chain store in the world, there's not gonna be many modeling jobs for Cynthia's clients, I'm sorry. - She's probably taking every fat ass in Atlanta, charging them a lot of money, and when are those girls gonna work? Those girls on America's Next Top Model barely even work, and they're on TV, and they've got Tyra behind 'em. - Well, I don't know, you know, Timree might need some models for her painting studio. So, I'm thinking there might be some synergy going on between the housewives. So, speaking of housewives, I believe we mentioned Bethany's name earlier. I think her name was Invoked, and-- - Oh my God, I'm so rich. I can't believe how rich I am. I finally made it. I used to sleep in my car. Now, look at me. Look at my apartment. Look how big everything is. Oh my God, I'm so famous. Look at all the cameras. Hey guys, why are you taking my pictures so much? I'm not going anywhere. I'm famous. Ah! - So, Bethany, as depicted by Ronnie, is back with Bethany ever after, this is season two, although it's really season three because there was Bethany getting married or something like that. But, I actually totally missed the episode 'cause I forgot about it. - Would you hate her or did you just accidentally miss it? - Well, I've always said this. I like Bethany, but I think a little Bethany goes a long way. I like her as part of the housewives. I think Bethany ever after it's entertaining, but I don't know if I need to see an hour of Bethany every single week, but I'll watch it now. Now that we're doing this podcast. So, tell me what I missed out on. - Bethany's famous. - Bethany's famous and is buying even a nicer, bigger apartment. - Really? Where are they buying? Where's your buying apartment? - I don't think they said where it was. - Wow, the enthusiasm's off the walls. - Well, okay, Beth, I was gonna let Matt go because I know he really likes it, but Bethany, okay. Bethany's really famous now, in case she didn't hear, and her marriage already sucks because she married a boring guy with a stick up his ass. - Yes. - And she goes to a shrink and tapes it, which I really love 'cause they didn't learn anything from real housewives of our really hills. And what else happened? She hangs out with Lisa Lappinelli, which made me like her 'cause they talked about a lot of dirty stuff. - Is she still hanging out with Ramona and Alex? - No Ramona, no Alex sightings, but I'm pretty sure we'll see them, you know, when she has a housewarming party for her glamorous new apartment. - 'Cause she likes Alex, right? She likes Alex a lot. - I think that she's actually closest to Ramona, but I think she's still friends with both of them. I think now Bethany is at that point where she doesn't even go to Brooklyn. - Yeah, it's sort of funny that Bethany and Ramona are really close. I mean, especially, we all remember that, Brooklyn Bridge saga, when it went for a delightful little stroll across the Brooklyn Bridge. And Ramona pretty much just destroyed all of Bethany's life over the span of the river. Do you remember that? Or she was like, "Well, you're gonna ruin everything, "like everything else in your life. "You ruin everything, people, you hate people, "you destroy everything." - They're smarter because they're clinging to each other because Ramona's like, "Oh, I can get some screen time "on Bethany." And then Bethany is staying friends with Ramona. She's the star now of New York because they gutted that cast. - Bethany, I'm sorry, I don't, I see what Ramona gets from hanging on to Bethany. I don't see anything that Bethany gets from hanging on to Ramona, except a few free bottles of Pinot Gris. - That is true. - I doubt they hang out, though. Do you think they actually hang out in real life? - No. - They probably, you know, I'm sure if like Ramona has a party, she invites Bethany, Len, vice versa. Party friends. - Yeah, they, she might weekend at her house in the Hamptons with her. - Yeah. - A little girl's get away. - Yeah. - Something fun like that. - Hey, hey, cook, eat, you know. - Yeah. How is cookie these days, by the way? - We didn't see much of cookie. I think that Bryn has killed cookie. - Oh, that makes sense. - Just like Snowball. - Oh, maybe Snowball and cookie could like have little puppies together. Are they the same sex though? - Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At mid-mobile, we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot, we charge you a little. 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Is the show this boring that we're talking about, Koki? - You know what, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it really was boring. I don't know why it happened. What happened on this episode? - You guys gave me the whole recap five minutes ago. That was literally the whole show. She was like, "Oh my God, it's not crazy being rich. "I'm like, "Look at this. "Look at this. "I'm rich. "I'm rich. "I'm rich. "I'm margarita." - And she does talk a lot about camel toes and everything comes back to her vagina. She's obsessed with her vagina, I think. - She has, you know, the thing with Bethany is that there's some times when I think with her that she have no shame. I mean, I know that goes for a lot of these women, but I remember in the first season, Bethany getting married, there was an episode where she like peed on camera into like a bucket in her wedding dress. And I was like, "Really?" (laughing) I was like, "Really?" - She had a couple of really good lines. One of them, she was like, "Yeah, you know, "it's hard to keep the romance alive "when your baby just took a crap on the floor." (laughing) - Well, that's funny. - You know, she has good one liners. And we also learned that Bethany hates sex and will not have sex with her man. - Oh God. - Which was kind of fascinating. - She got a lot of that down. Okay, you can't complain for that many seasons on the Real Housewives about not having a man. And then you get one, you don't have sex with him. All right, you got it. - Well, look, he kind of sucks. - He does. He's boring. - Well, Jason Hoppe, I mean his last name is ridiculous. - Well, and his family, I'm sorry, but like when you get married to somebody, it is not your obligation to hang out with your husband's family 24/7, especially when his mom goes to church on a daily basis. Like, I'm sorry, like he has way, like his expectations are way too high. Clearly he did not watch the first few episodes, or first few seasons of the Real Housewives of New York. He did not know he was getting into. - But is it, you guys, that guy is married to Bethany. I mean, I think we should let him, if he murdered somebody, I'd be like, it's okay. He's married to Bethany. I mean, he puts up with that. He can do whatever he wants. - He is probably gonna flip out one day, but don't you think what the parents, it's like the producers were like, we need to add an element to this show, an element of conflict, so let's have the parents in all the time. - Well, I don't know. I mean, the conflict now is, I'm so rich, I don't have to spend all my money. I mean, really, I mean, Ronnie is right. Ronnie has turned me to the dark side, I now hate her. - Okay, good. I'm glad you-- - Well, also the conflict is that their marriage is terrible. They hate each other. It's like they hate each other. - Do you really think it-- - They did not-- - Do you think they hate each other, or do you think that is a-- - Bethany, all-- - That the producers have not put on to them. - It's for real. All she ever does, whether she's talking to a girlfriend, or talking to the psychiatrist, all she ever says is, he makes me feel guilty. I'm the bad guy, I'm the horrible person, and he's a saint, and everybody loves him. And honestly, I think that that is a real problem, and I think that-- - Yeah. - I don't know, I think the clock is ticking. - And you know what, you know what's not a good way to combat that, is to passively attack him by-- take him down by talking behind his back on a TV show that he will eventually see, 'cause that's basically what she's doing. So that's not gonna be a healthy thing. - She also has the fame, she has the money, and she has the baby that she's always wanted, so like, really, what does she need him for? - Sounds like she's calling all the shots in her life, and she's got good aim. - Okay, Tamara Barney. (laughing) - Okay, let's move on to a show that we actually all enjoy, and that would be Top Chef. We are moving out of the house, so I've relevant, is everyone okay with this? Is everyone okay? - I'm okay, I'm ready to say this. I am pissed because I love me some best. - I love Beverly. Beverly was eliminated in the most previous episode, although there's a new episode tonight, so by the time some people are listening to this, you know, this may already sound a little dated. - Are they cutting somebody tonight? Is it gonna go down to a final tour? Are we gonna get two hours on different weeks of just the three people competing? - They made it look like someone was going home tonight on their previews. - Okay. - So I was, you know, I was definitely bummed for Beverly. I love her, I love her. - I don't, I only like her because she's the kid that's always getting kicked, and so I feel like I have to like her, sort of in every season how there's that one who's always being bullied by the other chefs, and I feel like I have to kind of like them. But in reality, I want her to get beat up. - No, I don't want to get, I like her. I mean-- - But Ben's been, Ronnie does have a point. Bullying is so 2010. - So. - Like are we, are we over it? - Well then that means that we, that that the bully should stop bullying 'cause it's out of date. It's not, you know, it's not so much about the bullying. It's, the truth is this. She seems very sweet. She seems like a total mess. She's a scatter brain. I get that. But she also makes stuff that looks like it's really good. And she is bullied because it'd be one thing if she's bullied by people that we liked, and we're like, okay, they sort of have a point. But she's bullied by assholes, okay? She's bullied by Sarah, who by the way, so Sarah bullies this girl. All season long is a total bitch, comes back for the finale and says she wants to be a nicer person. And then in the finale, she is a bitch all over again to Beverly. Beverly finally gets cut, and then Sarah's like, oh, I'm really so glad I got to share this experience with you. Shut the fuck up. That's the issue. That's the Bulldog sausage maker, right? [LAUGHS] Yes, I believe so. 'Cause I get her confused with the, who's the blonde little evil one. That's Lindsey. I'm okay with Lindsey. No, she's worse than the Bulldog sausage maker. I would believe Lindsey would poison someone, though. That's for sure. [LAUGHS] I just get the vibe. I love this week because they all came back after watching themselves on the show. And I love when that happens, because everyone's so self-aware, and they've read all the stuff about themselves on the internet. So I love that Fat Girl with Bad Haircut comes back, and she's like, I've decided to be a nicer person. Really, Cartman? Really? [LAUGHS] Now that you've read everybody dissing you on the internet, now you're going to be a nice person. And bitch could not even do it for once. She could not last five minutes being a nice person. No, she could not. It was awesome. Now, one thing that happens with the finale is that one of the traditions is that everyone comes back with a new haircut. So what do we all think about everyone's haircut? Paul has now gotten rid of his little buzz cut and has this weird comb over thing. I wasn't sure I loved it. I like Paul with a buzz cut. Anyone notice? I'm just going to put this out there. I haven't really been into Asian dudes in the past, but Paul kind of does it for me. Oh, yeah? Really? Yeah, he does. He's cute. That's why. He's cute. Paul does it for me because he can cook, and you know he's got weed. He might even join both those things together. Yeah, those are two very good qualities in a man, a man who will get you high and then feed you when you get the munchies. You win. Please take the win. Yeah, I don't think Sarah would necessarily do that. You know, Beverly might have that too, by the way. Why because she's so in outer space? Beverly does not smoke weed. You don't think so? No. I still think she's a virgin, even though she has a child. I think she's got that big old tad on her arm of that. Of course she smokes weed. I think every time she has sex or vagina closes back up again right afterwards and she becomes a virgin again every single time. That's how much of a tight half that girl is. Beverly, I think that she's like-- I think Beverly is a little more naughty than you guys are giving her credit for. You don't get half a sleeve by being an angel, OK? I love how now you think everybody with tattoos are dirty hookers. Well, I don't-- not necessarily that, but I'm saying they're not necessarily the purest-- purest snow white or whatever. You know, I think they're-- Well, she is Asian now white, but yeah. Yeah, she-- well, unlike you, Matt, I don't see racism in every single term. So can we just all-- we're all rooting for Paul, clearly. Yeah, clearly for Paul. I would say Paul, then Lindsay, then Sarah. Oh, actually, though-- Sarah, you know, here's the thing, actually. Sarah, as much as she is a bitch, she does seem extremely talented, so maybe she's good. Ben, all she makes is fucking sausage. Fabioli and sausage. That's true. That's true. OK, Sarah's in third place now. Well, I'm a carb fan, but I'm also going to root for Sarah because she's the biggest asshole on the show, and they usually win. Yeah, they almost always win. And I like being right. I think Paul is going to win, though, unless he has a major flow. You know what I don't want to see happen? Because this happens every single finale, I feel like. It's down to make the biggest meal of their life. And then someone says, oh, you know what? I'm going to sue V something. I've never done this before, but I'm going to give it a twirl. And they do it, and it sucks, and they lose every single time. I know, didn't that happen to that awesome girl? Like, what was her name, Kelli, or something in Colorado? She sued V, and she had the win in her hand. Yes. Because, you know what it was, it was-- Because that girl told her that evil rabbit-tooth girl told her to do that? That's right, she told Casey. Casey told her-- no, it was Carla. Wasn't it Carla? And-- Yeah, it was Carla. And Casey was like, you should sue V, this. You should sue V, this. And Carla was like, oh, Carla, I'll do that. And then she failed. And then later on, Casey went on to social media. And I was like, it was not my fault. You're throwing me under the bus, da-da-da-da-da. I was like, shut up. What ever worked out for both of them, Casey's in the healthy choice commercials and Carla's on the chew, next. Yeah. And by the way, I've always resented that Casey has always billed herself as like, she should always say things like, well, I guess, as the quote unquote, hot chef here, like sort of jokingly, like, no. Yeah, you can't call yourself hot. I can call you hot, and I can determine that. She would say it in like a self-deprecating way. Like, I guess that's my role. But I'm like, no, you are never the hot chef, ever. I'm sorry. I don't think she said that. Yeah, she said that one season. She's like, well, I guess I'm the hot chef, whatever. And it's like, no, you've never been the hot chef. I don't think there's actually ever been a hot female hot chef on Top Chef. It's not a show that's known for great female eye candy. Well, it's not really known for eye candy, period. I mean, even though a version of cute guys aren't that cute. I mean, Sam was cute way back in the day. But this season, they had that X-FAT guy. And that guy wasn't that cute, and they called him Malibu. Yeah, he was OK. I mean, yeah, I guess on a sliding scale. But you know, I always thought Trey was cute. Remember Trey? I'm Tim Spike, even with that dump fadora. Yeah, the dump fadora was bad. But yeah, Spike, people like Michael Voltaggio actually quite a bit. Not my other life type. The twins, is he one of the twins? There's one good. There's one hot one and one not that one. Well, there was one that was hot and one who was just sort of like nice looking. The dirty taxi one was hot. The other one was boring. You know what I can't-- Ooh, I thought the boring one was hot. He looks like he makes more money. Well, no, not right now. Michael Voltaggio in his restaurant, Inc, here in Los Angeles is getting all these awards and being named like Restaurant of the Year and all that stuff. So I think Michael is the one getting the money. Who knows? Who knows who cares, right? Exactly. Let's talk about the Shahs of Sunset. Yeah, speaking of Los Angeles. So I think we touched on this a little bit last week. When is the premiere this weekend, next weekend sometime? Fifth, I believe. Yeah. Oh, fantastic. I think it's the 12th. It's either the fifth or the 12th. So this is produced by Ryan Seacrest. Do we think this will have the same appeal as Jersey Shore? OK, here's what grosses me out. It looks like it's one of those really, really bad shows that belongs on either E or VH1, which I don't touch that shit. I do not do the Kardashian. I don't do any of that. However-- racist. I think it is going to end up being like the biggest hit on Bravo Ever, which really upsets me. I don't know, you know, because I feel like for me, I want to watch it because I live here. And as we mentioned last week, this city has a huge Persian population. I think the big Persian populations are in Los Angeles and Long Island, have big Persian populations. I don't know if the appeal will be as strong for the rest of the country. You know, like-- Jersey Shore. Jersey Shore. New York and LA, the end. You make a very good point. But for instance, Jersey Shore, though, was huge, because everyone is aware of the Guido stereotype, and people are fascinated, like, how do these guys-- where are these ridiculous clothes? How do these girls act like this? So when Jersey Shore came around, there had already been, you know, tons of YouTube videos about Guidos that have had millions of hits. So it made sense. I don't know if Persians will have necessarily the same appeal. Well, I think, you know, people knew what Guido's were before Jersey Shore. And now I think it's like a whole new world. A dazzling place I never knew. I don't think-- I think that people love that show because it's something to mock. Yeah, right? I mean, they don't watch it because they're like, oh my god, I really have so much in common with them, and I think they really feel my problems. I think that they like it because they're really gross, slimy douchebags. So is that going to happen with the new show? I think so. I mean, looking at those previews are atrocious. Yeah, I mean, I definitely want to see it because I-- just living here, I mean, I am fascinated in a train wreck sort of way to see these Persians. Well, as I mentioned last week, I'm Lebanese, and I come from a very big Lebanese family, and we have a lot in common with those Persians. We're the same except for poor. We don't have as much money. So we don't wear the Real Housewives dresses, but we're still very proud of being a big herd of tacky-ass people. My grandpa used to go to the Red Lobster. My aunt used to work at Red Lobster. And we'd go in there with 20 people. It was like the whole family would meet there. So jealous. We'd eat this huge meal. This poor thing would wait on us. She couldn't wait on any other table because we took her whole section. She'd work her ass off. The family would be horrible to her, running her around like a slave. And then at the very end, my grandpa would go back after everyone had already left the restaurant and take the tip off the table. OK. Is your grandfather-- That's the kind of people we're talking about. Is your grandfather Heather Dubrow? [LAUGHTER] Did you ask me to-- Did your aunt give you make sure the menus were closed when you were when you sat down? Did you get-- I would order my restaurant when I'm ready. Heather Dubrow's like, I'm sorry. This ultimate feast. I need to send it back. [LAUGHTER] I did these crab legs. I just are not doing it for me. I need my popcorn shrimp. Cut. Skinny. [LAUGHTER] Did you butterfly the popcorn shrimp for me, please? So I guess my point is I can see the entertainment and a huge tacky family because I come from one and I miss them and love them. And I'm so glad-- I just wish as a kid I could have turned them off like I'll be able to turn this so off when it starts getting on my nerves. I think that people will watch it, though, because Bravo has been promoting it a lot. They've got Ryan Seacrest behind it. And it's a little different. The other stuff-- all the other shows that Bravo throws up-- this is around the time of the year when there are a lot of generic Bravo shows come out. This is when all their real estate shows pop up in dating shows. And they have like, well, what do you think about these? How are you excited? No, they're always sunset the most exciting or-- Yeah, a different appeal to you. Like every year, it's like million dollar listing, million dollar decoration decorating-- OK, a million dollar decorating. --the dating per million. Million dollar dating and decorating dates. It's like these shows are-- this is like the generic time of the year for Bravo. OK, sidebar million dollar decorators was the best show in history of the network. I did enjoy million dollar decorators. And can I say something? You know, Martin Lawrence, the British guy with the scarf with the-- [INAUDIBLE] I saw him shopping at Fresh and Easy, and it just cracked me up. The idea of Martin-- I'm going to go to Fresh and Easy now. Can my dis-- I'm at the Mothi Abbey. Oh, I just feel like you'd be at a Bristol Farms or a Gelsons, not Fresh and Easy. This was Sharon Osbourne. Ooh. Ooh, I'm going to scan these bagged bell peppers. If I can do this myself. I'm going to try and have a photo. Oh, it's a large podcast. It's official. Let me go wash out now, dude. And design my room to look like the drawing room. And I'll help you. I'm sorry. I got to put a box of fabulous. I love when we do our accents. Anyway, so we have Love Broker, which is some low red blonde girl from New York who wants to take Patti Sanger's job. Not going to happen. Going to get canceled. Then we have million dollar listing New York, where they're all just doing sit-ups, like the guy in American Psycho, looking all crazy. And then we do also have-- it's not a returning show. It's a returning cast. Jeff Lewis has that new show where he's trying to be a therapist and a decorator. Tell me about that. Here's the extent of which I've seen. When I press play at the end of the commercial break, it goes back five seconds and says, Jeff Lewis, interior therapy, or whatever it's called. I haven't actually watched the promo. But what is this show? It's really just he and Jenny going around and buying new furniture for divorced ladies and giving them a therapy session and probably just talking shit behind their back. Yeah. Sins. I'm sold. I think people who are huge flipping out fans will probably love it. I like flipping out, but I don't love it. Well, flipping out. And the Real House was of Atlanta are the two top rated shows on Bravo. So I do think that Jeff Lewis does have a huge fan base. Yeah, he does. We'll tune in. And he's very funny. He's very funny. That's for sure. I'm not going to take that from him. But I think million dollar listing New York and Love Breaker are kind of both doomed. Yeah, I think million dollar listing New York looks so good. I'm excited, but I don't think other people are going to be into that. Well, if you say that they're shortlist guys, I will watch. But if they're no shortlist guys, I don't know if I'll watch. I'll watch big I'll watch the sake of the podcast. I watch my crap TV all day. So I love that. I love design shows. And this one looks like they're trying to make it more exciting, I think. Yeah, but sometimes you just want a slow pace with Sandra Rinamado. I don't know who that is, but the name sounds funny. She's the star of like my first place. Oh, I don't see how to watch that. I've seen what's it called. The point is he has it. It does it right. And so I don't know if this is going to happen. Plus, I like Madison and, you know, Josh Flag. Like it's going to be weird without them. Yeah, yeah, get rid of them. Yeah, I can't stand Josh Flag, by the way. And the other guy, let's see, Madison. Madison's like a legend. Madison Hildebrand. Madison Hildebrand. Best part of Adam is his name. And then there's the other guy, Josh Altman. Is that his name? Yeah, he's like it took the place of Mopi here. Guy that has the dog name, Star of the Cakes. Back in the day, Josh Altman, I think he was at ICM. Or at least his brother was Matt Altman. And I used to, when I worked in development, I had drinks a few times with Matt Altman. Oh, you fucking power player. Look at me. Look at me. Hang out with Heather Dubro. Yes, well, we talked about Heather Dubro. No, we didn't. But no, the reason actually I brought that up, bringing this up is because at that time, Matt Altman said, you know, I'm going to get out of this industry because my brother and I are thinking about going into real estate, flash forward, fast forward. And here we are. One of them's on a TV show. So let's flash forward to next week. You're going to be in Paris, bitch. I am going to be in Paris. So you two are going to be on your own unless you can rope in a third person. So you will not be hearing me and my ramblings for a full week. What's all I saw? Yes, I'll let Ronnie can trample me by himself. Yes, the onion AV club said that I trample Matt. So I'm trying not to trample as much. Maybe that's my fetish. Maybe they shouldn't jut. Trampling? It sort of sounds like a thing. Yeah, right. Trampling or tramp? I don't know. Sounds like something you should discuss with the love broker. Every good show, every good show needs a victim. Well, you know what, when Matt's crying calls of racism, maybe he deserves to be trampled by a white woman. I would like credit for staying quiet so much today. I think I've done a very good job of sitting here. But you were too quiet. You were too quiet. We like it. You're funny. You're the funniest guy on here. You need to-- Wow, now I am getting trampled. Oh, victim. No, Matt, you're not a funny guy. You're a funny girl. Does that make you feel bad? Girl. It's getting really gay all of a sudden. I was trying not to tramful. I'm in the fetal position, and I'm going to call myself Tammy Knickerbacher right now. I like that. All right, well, I think we've covered everything we need to cover, right? We do. Was there any gossip, any bravo gossip from the Housewives or anything that we may have missed? I don't think so, right? I don't know if this is new or not, but I stumbled across-- Eric Snow is divorcing Deshawn Snow from season one of Hot Land huh. That's not new, but it doesn't make me sad, because I thought they seemed like a nice couple. Yeah, but I like that he's divorcing her. Yeah. Oh, I just want to say one thing. I watched Tabitha Salon take over last night, and this is actually the third episode I've seen. And the previous two were at-- one was at a yogurt shop, one was at a gay bar. This is the first time I've seen her at a salon. And it's a whole different show when she takes over a salon, I have to say. Do you prefer it, or do you not-- I prefer the salon. I prefer it, because I think that she-- Well, it's her specialty, she's not the expert of yogurt. Yeah, exactly. I feel like with the salon she really-- I feel like the show takes on a certain depth that I find interesting. But I enjoyed it. I'm definitely coming on board the Tabitha train. She should have murdered the salon owner's daughter. I'm sorry. Oh, god. Who wanted to fluff her feathers? What does that even mean? What does it mean? I don't. They all have feathers in their hair. They are so tacky backwards-- But why do the feathers-- Why do the feathers need to be fluffed? I mean, what's going on? I mean, it's not like she has a pillow on her head. I think Tabitha needs to start going around to the different bravo shows and trying to fix them. I love that. I love to see Tabitha fixing Heather at a restaurant. Yes, he needs to go to Orange County and be like-- Have you learned English? Where did you grow up a Lexus? Enough, I'm taking you old. I'm taking you over. Is there a flood? Then why are you always wearing floaties, darling? You're turning your British, by the way. Yeah, I'm turning into Lisa. I'm turning into Lisa. That's OK. It happens with me, too. And actually, when I try to do Australian, it just generally turns into Paul Hogan, too. Yeah, channel the Outback. Oi. Oi, Bob's here. I'm going to take you over. Taking you over, Lexus, to cheer. Australians on TV make me mad because I feel like they know the proper accent. They're just not doing it on purpose. Like, it's like Canadian. Yeah, it's like Canadians when they speak completely normal until they say oot. Like, hey, how are you doing? Yeah, I feel like going oot. What the fuck? You know it's out. Stop it. I think you actually may have just actually crossed the line into German. Bro, when Canadian people are like, sna-la! It's a very global podcast. OK, I actually have to pack my bags and go to the officer. Yeah, and I have to pack my bags and go to Paris. So, yeah, I'm going to go to the dog park. Oh my god, this is so not fair. Yeah, why are you going to Paris? Because my best friend is living there now, and I have miles, so it's basically a free ticket and free room and board. Hi! Gross, I wouldn't live with a friend who moved to Paris. Well, she had to do it for work. So anyway, I'm going to be eating crepes and escargot and all sorts of things that would horrify the Orange County wives who would probably go there and eat at McDonald's and all of them. But they probably all own sparkly berets. That's true. That's very true. So anyway, this was really fun. I will see you guys in two weeks, and hopefully you guys will be able to do this next week without me. And yeah, it's been fun. Good times. Thanks, everybody. Thanks all. All right, bye. Bye, yeah. Don't forget to go to gamefly.com/haha and get your 15-day trial from Gamefly. They have over 7,000 tiles to choose from for all game systems and handhelds. No late fees, free shipping, cancel anytime. That's gamefly.com/haha to get your free 15-day trial. Gamefly, games delivered. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called WaitForIt. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleisinger, slicing, driving friends with it for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com/waitforaccomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here and it's funny and I love you. A few days ago, Brooke to Dean posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and three comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. #Keep Climbing, #Saveings. Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. If you like Watch what Crap is, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who'll fight like hell to keep you out of jail? We defend and we fight just like you don't want your own children to defend it. Whether you're facing a drug charge, caught up on a murder app, accused of committing war crimes, look no further than Paul Bergrin. All the big guys go to Bergrin because he gets everybody off. You name it, Paul can do it. Need to launder some money? Broker a deal with a drug cartel? Take out a witness? 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