- Hey, hey, everyone, it is J and A with the Let's Go Loud podcast, and we were actually together in the same room holding hands. - It's actually so fun, eh? - Reading the same, why are we like so close? - And if you wanna see us on, and there's so much light, there's so much light, it's like, yep, there's a lot. - It's a house of windows. - A lot of windows over here. If you go on YouTube, you'll see our beautiful faces. - Mm, there's definitely some fancy filter on your Zoom, eh? - Yeah. - How's that, booger? - Oh, is it a check? - It's always on booger patrol. - Well, it's not your fault, your nostrils are open nostrils. - Yeah, I see. - It's the shape of your nose, and it's like right there, and then yesterday. - See, my nose is like, what's smaller nostrils? It's my dad, this is from my dad. - Oh, really? - I think you have such a nice nose, though. - Oh, wow. - I really find that. - Nice, yeah. - Well, okay, so we're together real time. We just both went on a four-day vacation with those felling each other at, we're both in, I mean, I was only in Quebec for a day. - I know, mead I thought we were meeting. She's like, oh, it's so fun. And then she's like, oh, wait, they're going now, they're leaving Quebec already. - No, I was like, yeah, and we didn't know that we were in the same city at the same time. - I did Google Maphead, and we were 30 minutes away. And also, when I parked my car in Quebec City, there was not a chance that I was getting back in my car. - Oh, and leaving. - And leaving, absolutely not after seven hours of driving. - Well, and just like, it's so scary. - Oh, okay, you know how I feel about driving. - I know how you feel about driving. - Quebec City was busy. - Yeah, it was busy because it was the festival. - Yes, Monja. - Our air meeting didn't even know. - Was right here, and like, my brother went out later that night. - Of course. - And he could hear Nickelback. Like, Nickelback was playing that night. - Nice. - But there was some millions of human beings. - Yes, millions. - So it was really good. And we thought that we would take the opportunity to talk to you about, like, weight gain while we're away. And I'm on an intentional calorie deficit journey. Why do I use those words? - I feel like let's do your intentional, let's save your intentional calorie deficit journey for next podcast. - Oh, okay, I like that. - Let's talk about going away. - Okay. - Choices you make while you're eating. - Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. - Weight gain. - Yes. - Um, do you find that it's a lot about the mindset before you leave that, like, changes everything? - I mean, literally life. - You know, obviously as we live our regular lives, part of that is coaching our members. And so I was having conversations with our members before I left and saying, okay, like, what do you think is the most important thing for me to pack for this trip? 'Cause my goal was to not create a massive surplus. - Yeah. - That was my goal. - It wasn't to create a calorie deficit. - No. - Okay, for you, no, same. It wasn't to create a calorie deficit, but it's like, I'm gonna be intentional about not gaining 10 pounds. - Exactly. - Yeah. - And so I asked and I was kind of trying to trick them and they were like, protein snacks, big, big, big. - Right. - And that the most important thing that I'm gonna pack with me on this trip is my mindset. - Yeah. - And it's believing that no matter what, I have access to what I want. So there's no special, there's no good or bad foods. So even if I did need a fruit or a vegetable for four days, doesn't mean I have to create a surplus. - Mm. - And that just, there's no good or bad foods and there's nothing you actually have to do and no experience is fattening. - Is fattening. - No experience is fattening. Like, I don't leave on a trip and then I gain 10 pounds. I leave on a trip and what I put in my mouth, like that I put in my mouth results in the surplus. - And to think that what you have access to is like, so sometimes I totally had access to, I call bullshit on that. You could have like not eaten, you, if you go to a restaurant, there's a menu. - Yeah. - Not just one thing. There's nothing in your mouth. And like, this vacation came with 10 pounds. That's all like, it's on the vacation package. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? No. So it's like kind of owning that, but I was thinking the other day how there's so many skills that we have that I'm so grateful for, that I'm like, oh, see right there? Like, I adjusted. - Yeah. - I wanted that in that moment and that wasn't planned, but it doesn't fuck up. - Yeah. - What the goal is and what the focus is. And so just like last night, okay, great example that you could use whatever, but it's just a general example of just adjusting and then not making a big deal. And sometimes you have something planned, but then something else happens. And you're like, oh, I want that more. - Yeah. - So I did, do you have like craft dinner? But it's like a, it's like a three cheese, whatever, save. Anyways, so she doesn't eat the whole box, right? So there's always some left. I mean, no problem. I love it. - I love it. - So the plan for supper was, and right now I'm being an intentional calorie deficit, right? So everything you put in your mouth needs to be intentional, not counted. - Yes. - Just intentional. - Sure. - And chosen, okay? So great calorie deficit day and now it's supper. And the plan was a egg white and scallop, 'cause my mom had done scallops. Egg white and scallop wrap, okay. - Oh God, were you gonna put them together and once? - Yes, I'm cooking them on the thing together. - So I was like, ooh, yum yum yum, just a bunch of protein. So I was gonna do that and it was gonna be so good. But then like she had like, probably like, I was like half a cup of like noodles left and I wanted them. - Yeah. - I didn't want to throw them. I love the language you're using right now. And so instead of my wrap, which is 110 calories, that's not the same amount of calories, but I took that out of the equation. - Sure. - And now I added crab dinner to my egg white and scallop. - Wait, it's all in a bowl. - It was so good. - And I got everything and I was like, look at me just adjusting, right? - Yeah. - Last night was not supposed, like obviously when you think of a calorie deficit, you don't think s'mores. - No, you don't think s'mores. - Not the first thing that comes to mind. - You think s'mores are not allowed, you know? And what happened last night, we literally do one fire in the summer. I don't like fires in the summer with little kids because they need to stay up so late. - Okay. - So I don't mind doing a fire, but it's like, it needs to be a very different thing. - I see what you're saying. - You know what I mean? Like we can't do this every night. - Yeah. - We'll beat a bit at 10 p.m. - Yes. - And we put our case of it at 8 p.m. - Yeah. - And it's very light out. - You very light out. - So it was a special night yesterday. Wait, we have friends. We're going to do a fire. So I go and pick up the box, the box, the s'mores box. And should I have eaten one, knowing that I wanted to be in a calorie, you know, a lot of people will be like, oh, I can't have that right now. I'm focusing on the calorie deficit. It doesn't fuck a matter if I should or not. - Do you want one? - I know. - Do you want one? - It's like, do you want one? And like, how will you feel? Like, if you don't choose that, are you going to feel sorry for yourself? Are you going to feel deprived? Or sometimes? - You don't want it. - You're like, actually I could pass on that and still feel great. - Yeah, because I want the bigger deficit. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - You know what I mean? - I chose once more. I cut the like, chocolate piece in half. - Yeah. - So less chocolate. It was just for the experience. But like, oh, it was delicious. And went to bed. Oh, it was good. And I still could, I thought that was it. - You know what I mean? - And you know what is also a big piece of what you're saying is not the not spiral. So so many people probably like, "Hey, I'm going to create a calorie deficit." And then, "Oh my God, something comes up." And there's s'mores. And you're like, "Well shit, I already messed up." There's a very big difference between one small s'more and 10 s'mores. We sometimes forget that. - Yeah. - So while you were away, what were some of the like strategies that you use to manage your surplus? - Okay. - So we went away with the gold, both of us. To manage our surplus. Knowing with the mindset that we have access to, whatever we want. - There is no food that needs to be avoided. - And no food necessary for weight loss. - Yeah. - And that we are in full control. Like those are such important things to go into your road trip. - Yeah. - Okay. So tell us about some of your stress. - Okay, so for me, I was a lot in a bathing suit. - A bathing suit. - Yeah. - Like everyday bathing suit. - Okay. - So feeling, not feeling stuff. - Yeah. - It's not even, I don't look different if I eat chicken fingers, put in style. Or if I eat a poke bowl. - Yeah. - No, I mean, I don't look different. Could be the same amount of calories. - Yeah. - I don't know. - Yeah. - But the feeling isn't the same. - The poke bowl looked delicious. - Nah, I eat so many, so many ingredients that I will never do myself. - I was gonna say, you know you can make those at home. - No. - But here's the thing. - Was it a make your own type situation? How did that work? - No, the restaurant that we had, it had a beets, pickled beets poke bowl. (speaks in foreign language) Oh my goodness. And I would skip on the protein, which is hilarious, but I'm like, you know, people like, oh, protein. So which is like very diet- - No, no poke bowl. - There was no, no. - Your bowl? - Called a poke bowl, but there was no poke. - Oh, okay. - It was just beets. - Oh, okay. - Vegetables and rice. - Okay. - So I like, every time, would you like to add chicken to that? No, I just like want the thing, Jeff. So disappointed. - So disappointed. - Yeah, he's like, and double meat. But those are different goals, right? And so for me, while I was there, I'm like, I'm going to be intentional. And it wasn't just to create a deficit or whatever. It's like, I want to make sure that everything I'm eating, that it's not like something that I could have at home, like the application. - Yeah. - So you have a lot of sleep, a montage. - Good. - Like every time I was like, oh, this is really good. And this is like, this I would never have. Where do they get those? - There it is. - It's green. - Mm-hmm. - It looks like, no, it looks like a pea, but it's not a pea. It's bigger. It's very beautiful. Very beautiful green. - Very light green. I'm going to show you the video. It'll be like, what is that ingredient? - Yeah, yeah. I think it's an edamame. - Yes. - Was it in your pokeball? - Yes. - Okay, yes. That was really good. Can you get them in the store? - True. - Yeah. - But all that to say, so for me, it was how I want to feel. See, here's the thing, my pokeball with probably two cups of rice was probably more or not more. But I don't know, as many calories as maybe a poutine. It's a small poutine, okay? It wasn't about that. It wasn't like, you should eat these 'cause it's better for you or healthier for you. It's what I wanted, made me feel really good, not stuffed. And you know what, poutine and that kind of food is very much what we're eating and should yeah. - Absolutely. - At summertime, I haven't eaten fried clams yet. That is on the list, you know? So it's like that type of food. I did eat one poutine 'cause those poutins in Quebec, aren't they? - I did. - Well, yeah, I think that's where like, I feel like-- - That's where they created. - That's where they created it. - Yes, they could. - Poutine. - Poutine. - And so I had one and it wasn't like, I'm gonna keep one, it was like, I'm gonna have one when I want one. - Yeah. - And having that conversation, what do I want? - It's pretty freeing. - It's pretty crazy, like, what do I want? And go, create depth out of that? Not just like, what do I want right now? Well, you're in front of a frigging lineup of poutins, clearly like, that's what you want. Like, what do I want? Do I wanna feel good? - Yeah. - Do I want to maybe take an opportunity to consume less right now? 'Cause maybe we'll consume-- - Yeah. - It's having that deeper reflection of what you want. - It's, and like, I love that you said this, it's what you want, so, you know, that conversation is so important because when I'm choosing what I want, it's not just what do I wanna put in my mouth right now. - Yeah, it's like in general. - It's what do I want? Like, how do I wanna feel in my body? Like, how do I wanna feel when it gets cold? - It's cold. - It is. - It's just holistic. - Yes. - It's more complicated than just what do I, the taste that I get? - And I've always said that, like, it's very, it's against a comcopicky, holistic, I like that, complex, deep, whatever. It's almost like, sometimes I don't want, wait, okay. So let's say I want to go to the gym, or I want to go for a walk, or I want to go to a spin, sometimes there are times where I also want to sit and do nothing. - Yeah. - I want to work, but I also don't. I want to go in the pool, but I also wanna keep my hair dry. There's a lot happening, okay? So it's like more, I do that because I want the other things that come with the want. - Yeah. - It's like, I want to feel good. I want to prioritize movement. I know I feel better. It's like a deeper conversation than just like in this very moment. But I do know that the desire is what drives behavior, but sometimes desire can change regarding your perspective of what you want, right? So I think it's not the long-term versus short-term. I think it's deeper versus just surface. - Yeah. - Like a little deeper thinking, a little deeper reflection here, more self-awareness. - And what's so important when you're starting to think that way is that you are not a victim. Like you are in control. Like you are not the victim of your vacation, of your buffet breakfast, of your 10. Like you need to go with your CEO mindset and be like, okay, here are the conditions. Like about you wanting to go on the pool, but wanting to keep your hair wet. You literally say to yourself, as the CEO of your life, what do I want more? Like there's pros and cons to both, and then you choose. Not I had to go in, no. - No. - Anything that language. - You just said you CEO mindset, yeah, no. Not being a victim. - Yes, okay. I love that. So don't be a victim of like what you chose, whatever. - Or what's available to you. - That's okay. - People are the victim of their circumstances. - Yes, okay. And then it's like, even with weight loss, with that journey of like losing weight, it's when I see people being like victims, I'm like, ah, it's because I'm trying to lose weight. I'm like, oh my God. It's a shitty approach to something that could be so positive, and so beautiful, and so reinforcing, and good. Just pure goodness in your life. And here you are, just being like, oh, I'm a victim of something I chose that I said I wanted to do. I don't understand that way to think, honestly. And a lot of people say they want to lose weight, but they don't want to figure out how to lose weight in a non-shitty way, and they don't wanna pay, they don't help, they don't anything, then you don't want weight loss in that way. So stop saying you want that. You don't, you need to want what comes with the result. You can't just be about, I want that. You need to want the shit. Then you don't want the result, 'cause if you really wanted the result, you would want the things to do as well. It comes with it. So I remember, and now that I'm doing the whole want thing, and with Tom and whatever, I'm like, holy shit, I was right from the beginning, because people would be like, oh, oh, you kept the weight off. Oh, well, you know me, and then they would go ahead and tell me what has happened in their life for them to regain their weight, and I didn't. And it was so interesting that my life also had things. I had two kids, there's also things that happened in my life that could have been the path of regaining the weight in whatever. And I remember one girl, I was like not having it that day. And I said, you're, I guess I just wanted it more. There's no, I said, I don't have any other explanation. I cannot tell you, yeah, my life is perfect, that's why. Like I couldn't say that. I'm like, I guess I don't know the only difference that I can think of in this moment is not because I'm special. It's not because my life is perfect. It's not because your life sucks. I was like, the only thing I think of is that I think I wanted it more. And I don't have to like say that, I proved it. I wanted that, I wanted to keep the weight off. And so I did, 'cause we do what we want. - I, it literally all goes down to the mindset of I am in control. - Yes. - And I am in charge. Like the amount of people that what is holding them back from success is the way that they think. They think the reason why is the circumstances in their life, everyone has circumstances. They're people that are successful with their weight loss. It's not because nothing ever happened. - No, yeah. - It's because they kept going and adjusting and connected to it even when shit happened. - Yeah. Like sometimes I'm like, you could throw four more kids at me and I would still figure it out. - You would. - 'Cause I'd want that. Like I just, I feel like, okay, and maybe not and whatever. But like at the same time, I just feel like we need to sit there and be like, okay, I don't have to, I don't have to do, like you said, you have to like focus on your mindset and be the CEO and all that. And I'm like, here's the thing though, we live in a society where we let society be the CEO of our lives. Like we're like, oh, that's what's normal. I have to do that. I should do that. That's what's appropriate. That's what, we're so conditioned to believe that we need to be a certain way that we don't feel like we can be the CEO in our own lives. And we said, fuck that. And we are just doing what we want to do. Like we are the type of people we want to be. And the minute you stop being, it's kind of funny because like, you know how some people would be like, oh my God, at your weight loss, I almost feel like I'm being conditioned to believe it in a different way. I'm like, well that you were being conditioned to believe in a different way. And now you're just seeing that you can be whatever. And that feels so freaking good. It should feel so freeing. You did a great coaching on feeling like staying connected is exhausting. You're doing something wrong. If you feel exhausted feeling connected, it means you're staying connected to something that's not you. There's nothing better than being like I'm in control. And we're gonna talk about that in the next podcast 'cause that's a part of my intentional caliber. - I can't wait to hear about that. Okay, a little bit back to the trip. - All right. - So did you, was it a breakfast included? Was any food included? Nothing was included. Did you have any snacks with you? - No, didn't bring food. I knew, I knew the answer 'cause I was gonna. And so I basically choosing what was worth it to you. Were there any other strategies you used? - I knew that movement was way low because there was no exercise that much. I think I went once and then I was like, that was just okay. There was no air conditioning in that gym. And I was like, nah, nah, it's not worth it. I think that it was just really listening to hunger. - Okay, listening to hunger. - Like hunger, fullness, and just again, the self-awareness, are you hungry? What do you want? Reconnecting to like, also the fact that I was heavy before leaving. - Okay. - So it's like, I feel like I've eaten everything that I want to eat. Like, I've just been to Italy for 12 days. - Yes, it was Dia's birthday, then it was July 1st. And I'm like, oh my God, like a, I don't feel deprived. - Okay. - You know what I mean? - It was so important as well when you go, if you were. - And that was all chosen. - Yeah, we're gonna talk about that next podcast. - Okay, so were you successful in managing your surplus? - Yes, yes, perfect. - So I got that though. And I was like, I did say this to my accountability person. I sent her what I weighed on Monday. And I said, heavier than I felt, heavier than I, and not heavier than I deserve. I put them up, I deserve what I deserve. Like it is what it is, like whatever, no drama. But then like, I was like, I didn't feel like I was there. And we'll talk about it in that next, you really need to show up in the next, yeah. Next podcast, no, I'm trying to create bumble. - Oh, okay. - Okay, listen, next week. - It's going well. And, but then like two days, like I lost four pounds. You know what I mean? So, yeah, there was something there, but yay me for not panicking. And not thinking, what the fuck? 'Cause the shittiest summer I'm gaining a bunch of weight. - Yeah. - It's a ponch, it's such a ponch, yeah. I always control. I always want what I want. - So I like we're so different how we live our lives. And I think that's so important for people to see because then they see that there's not one way. So for me, I do like to have snacks with me. And I do think that sometimes it stems back to like, I definitely have like scarcity around like food. Like it's like I need to know that there's a snack available. - Yeah, you also have scarcity for your children for them to not be fed. - Yeah. - I don't know if my child has eaten lunch. So, like I'm like, oh, did I? Cool, what do you want? An egg, that's what I have to offer. But you also were driving 13 hours. I would have had snacks for myself. - Yes, you know what I mean? - And I don't, and the whole like thing with their kids thing is that like I just always brought on the responsibility of feeding my kids. And now, and you didn't know what I mean. - You know what I mean? - No one did. - They make their own breakfast and lunch and snacks now this summer. So like, I don't make them like last summer, maybe I wasn't making breakfast last summer, but like last summer, I was still like making them, making a big breakfast for everyone. And now we don't. - Yeah. - Anyways, so I had snacks, but there's no magic in specific snacks. But what I really loved is, it was really easy for me to be calorie aware. And I had snacks that I knew were gonna satisfy me. - Right. - Because sometimes if you consume, it's not about the energy that you consume. It's about the satisfaction level. - So you could eat something that's like 600 calories, but if it was gross, you're not gonna feel satisfied. So me having snacks that I know were going to satisfy me and increase my calorie awareness was an amazing tool that I had in my back pocket. - For sure, listening to my hunger. So breakfast was included at our hotel. - Okay, fine. - But I chose to not eat breakfast. 'Cause I wasn't hungry. - That's a hard thing for me. I would have not done that. - I ate once because I drank the night before. - Right. - But I needed sausages. - I needed, the sausages were delicious. - Yes, they are. - But honestly, 97% of the time that breakfast, you might disagree. It's just not worth it. It's like crappy eggs from better powder. - The eggs aren't good. - No. And so I made the choice. And honestly, most the time I wasn't hungry until lunch time. So what a great opportunity to grab not worth it, but then we went to my uncle's and had like Indian takeout. And we had like, you know, so I really, we had Lebanese food. And so I just really saved so much sausages. I really saved my belly for when I, it was really worth it to me. - And listen, what is worth it to her is different than what's worth it to you. - Yeah. - Know what I mean? - I, my movement was-- - There's no magic in that. - Probably down as well, but I did go for a walk every day, whether it was with my mom or on the treadmill. Like, but it was something. - Yeah. - Yeah, we had like 20,000 steps though. - Yeah, you guys did. - You know what I mean? So yeah, so I didn't exercise, but I, you know, I definitely had more steps that I have right now. - Yeah. - Could I hear? - And, you know, prioritizing my water. - Yeah. - That's always huge for me when it comes to getting bring a water bottle. - Oh my God, Neil, I was like, how much water did you drink on this trip? And I think it was zero. - Yeah. - I think it was zero. No, not one sip. - No. - It's amazing that many bodies don't come in. - How many beer did he drink? - 75. - See? - That's fine. And there was a times where, you know, there was alcohol offered and I chose not to have it. Was it worth it to me? That's something that is not what you wanted in that time. - No. - I wanted to feel good the next day. - I did. - See how it's like deeper than that moment? - Yep. - And I had that conversation with someone. She was like, I always stay. I'm just gonna drink too. - And then I end up drinking five. And I'm like, so your reflection needs to be, why do I want five? - Yeah. - There's value in you having five. - Yeah. - And she's like, the next day, I feel like, she had him like, but in that moment, you know that's gonna happen and you want five still. - Yep. - So stop blaming whatever you want five. - Yeah. - Reflect on that. - Yeah. - She's like, no, I don't want. I'm like, YouTube, because you drink it. - Yeah. - So stop leaving the life of what you do is not what you want. Start leaving the life of what you do is what you want and then reflect on why do I want that? - Yeah. - Uh huh. - Yeah. - So interesting. - So interesting. - It just like makes you more aware of your life choices and like, oh, okay, that you're, you own that. And it's so freeing. It's so powerful, but it can be uncomfortable. - It's uncomfortable. - And you do things that you keep saying you don't want. It almost like, but I figure out why, because apparently you want that. - Yeah. - You know, 'cause even I was having conversation with someone, she's like, I want my big supper and I want to overeat. And I, and I'm like, and-- - And that's what you want. - Yeah. So stop, why are we talking? - Yeah. - You know? - Yeah. - And she's like, but I just, I'm so unhappy. I'm like, why do you want to be unhappy then? 'Cause that's what you were choosing. - Yeah. - She's like, oh, this is deep. This works. - You know, but like, this is the only way we move on. - Yeah. - Like, you know? - What you guys wish of. - What you choose is what you want. - Yeah. - So like, why do you want that? And sometimes you're like, why did I choose to do that? You wanted that. It gave you value for that moment. And so it's like, what does that give me value? Down to like, yelling at your kids or deciding to know why did I want that? Well, I want it to be right. I want it to be like, why do you want to be right? You know? - Yeah. - It was very, very interesting sometimes how like, when you think you're like, shit. Like, why did I want that? Clearly, I wanted to do that. And then it's about like learning more about yourself. - Yeah. - And how you think you're a true self, you know? That it's not just like a weight loss journey on the side. - You identify what are your, you know, motivators. - Yes. - Yes. - You can know yourself a little bit better. - And just, and in that moment where I chose to not have alcohol, alcohol, free alcohol as well. That's next level. - It's so proud of you. - There's a lot of free food and alcohol. I said no food. - Yes. - That's a big deal. - Yeah, you don't get triggered by that. - Free food. - Free food, just free shit. - Free food especially. - Free alcohol is another conversation. - I don't care about free alcohol. - I worked on my relationship with free alcohol. - Yeah. - For the years. - But the food I still need to work on that. - For sure. - Uh oh. - But what was I saying? Oh, you know, in that moment where I turned down free alcohol, it was just like, I have that conversation with myself. - Yeah. - It's like, I want to feel really good. And so I'm choosing what I want. I didn't choose to say no because I want to lose weight 'cause I want to have created calorie deficit. It's 'cause it's what I want. And when I identify the reason, it's not about weight loss, but feeling good. And so when you have that deeper reasoning, it really helps. - Yeah, it really does. Okay, this was a really good talk. - Really good talk. - All right, well, we'll see you soon. You don't want to miss next week on because next week is like a really good conversation. - Finally, I can say all the things that she wants to say. I probably won't even need to be here. I'll still be here, but I'm here to know. - Yes, and then prompt me, okay. Okay, well, have a great week, bye.
