Football Function
College Football Function: Iowa, Ohio State & Penn State Schedule Predictions.
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What it do, baby? Baby, you know that bankrupt beat by now, right? You know that is the intro of the sound. The song of the college football function. You know the voice by now, right? It's C.M. Just a host that knows the most about that college football. Then in C, double A, action, C.M. Fonk, AKA, Andy LaFons, Cousin, AKA, Mrs. Delia Graham All. Mr. Perfect, Mr. Civil Medal. However you wanna call it, Mr. AKA the host of the college football function. C.M., how ya doin'? It's goin' good on my end. I hope things are well with you out there and listenin' land, all you funkyies that love football. I'm glad to be back talkin' to you guys again. It is July, but let's just say that. Comin' at you, we're gonna say what date. 'Cause like I said before in some of these other episodes, I pound these things out. Sometimes I send multiple episodes to Mike and he, you know, publishes 'em and gets them up and running at his, you know, whatever he wants. Whenever he wants to do it, you know, based on, of course, with what he's doing with two scoops of hoops and all the other good stuff with Grim, you know, doing his rivalry series as well. Getting us along in the dead off-season period. But like I said, it's July. We are getting closer and closer to football. You know, UFL just ended not too long ago. It was kinda bittersweet. I hope you guys at least paid attention to it somewhat. Because, I mean, if you're just a die-hard, you know, NFL fan, maybe you'll see a couple of guys on your practice squad or on your depth chart that, you know, played for the Birmingham stallions or the St. Louis Battle Hawks or the San Antonio Braumas. So when and so forth, there was some really good, you know, players that played in that UFL. May, I'd probably say a handful of them are going to, you know, get a chance to step up, you know, and weight class and, you know, play for the greatest League of them all, the NFL. So I hope you watched, you know, hockey and the NBA Finals. You know, I regret to inform you that, you know, my Dallas Stars didn't make it. They didn't even make the Stanley Cup. They ended up being the Edmonton Oilers going up against the Florida Panthers and not too long ago. The Florida Panthers held up that Stanley Cup, like I've said before, one of the greatest trophies in all of sports. It is a beautiful trophy. I would love to see it in person one day. Big shout out to the Florida Panthers. Hopefully, another Panthers host another trophy one day, right? Yeah, right. Anyways, and big shout outs, of course, to Mike Ritter and the Boston Celtics beating my Mavs in a gentleman sweep in five games to capture that Larry O'Brien and the Boston Celtics winning their 18th title. Just, it just blows my mind, man, to 18 titles. I mean, God, greedy, greedy bastards. Couldn't let the Mavs get to. I'm just kidding. You know, it was, it hurt, you know, not going to lie. It's nice when your team makes it to the Super Bowl, the Finals, the Stanley Cup, you know, the World Series. But when you go, you want to win. And when you lose, it hurts. Not going to sugarcoat it. Not going to bullshit you. It hurt. It hurt watching the Boston Celtics completely manhandle my Dallas Mavericks in four games. You know, no shit. And we got lucky that Game 4 in Dallas and then they turned around and repaid us, you know, with a good butt whooping and, you know, that was a mismatch. You know, and a lot of people are going to talk shit. I heard a lot of shit talkers, you know, Minnesota fans and thunder fans. And a lot of shit talk about how that was a, you know, wack NBA Finals. And it would have been a better matchup if it was so and so against Boston. Boston was going to hoist up that Larry O'Brien trophy, regardless of who they played. That was the best team in the NBA. And I tipped my hat. You know, me and Mike, you know, hit jabs at each other every once in a while, you know, didn't really completely talk, you know, mad shit to each other. You know, just a little, you know, playful jabs at each other. I'm not one of those shit talkers that, you know, said, you know, the match are going to sweep them. Celtics or, you know, they said, I tried to stay up social media because, like I said, I like to be humble, you know, in my ways and in my fandom. And don't want to write a check, you know, that I can't cash either. So, but like I said, you know, big ups to him and the Boston Celtics because they deserved it. And hopefully, you know, they don't win next year. You know, I would love a rematch. It will definitely make Mavericks versus Celtics next year at some point in time. I'm sure we will play each other, you know, during the regular season in Dallas at Boston. Definitely going to be what the must watch TV. But like I said, it hurt. But like I said, I tip my, you know, to the Boston Celtics. I'm not going to down talk them at all and say if and make excuses because I'm just not that kind of person. The better team won fair and square, you know, so it is what it is. Definitely want to do it two scoops of hoops. Might be doing that with Mike at some point in time here in the near future. And, you know, talk a little off season. You know, the craziness that is the NBA off season with the draft, you know, just taking place not too long ago. So definitely want to bounce some stuff off of him and see how he celebrated, you know, his 18th championship as a Boston Celtics fan. So didn't give you a shout out the last show, you know, when I talked about the ACC. But I am definitely giving you your mad props because I did. I definitely did text Mike, you know, right after the final whistle in game five. And I congratulated him. I did not talk shit. I am gracious in my wins as I am gracious in my losses because that is the way it should be. You should be very humble and you should take your L's as long with your wins and know how to take your losses and know how to take your wins. So, like I said, I am here with the college football function. I just did the ACC conference the last time we talked. And that ACC conference is pretty much done. I'm going to not necessarily put a bow on the ACC conference. I might go back to it because there is a couple of teams I might want to talk about. But that is, of course, if I have time and a lot of people are probably saying, "See him, you got nothing but time." Not necessarily. I got a lot of shows, a lot of stuff for you guys. And the way I see it, I've got about seven, maybe eight more shows from July to August because I want to break down these conferences, go week by week and, you know, touch bases back with them again. And then as the season starts, I want to talk a little bit of Heisman, maybe talk a little bit about some coaches that, you know, could be on the hot seat very, very early. Definitely a lot of stuff. And then maybe the week before talk about some of the matchups I am most looking forward to and start breaking down week one matchups, maybe, you know, week, maybe even two weeks before the season starts. So like I said, I still got a lot of stuff to give you guys during these next, I'd probably say eight, seven or eight, maybe even nine weeks before the season starts. And going back to the Big Ten, that's super conference like I've said before. The last time I talked about the Big Ten, and then when I talked about the ACC conference, the last time we talked, big fan, big, big, big fan of the Big Ten. I was a huge fan of them before. Now I'm even a bigger fan of the Big Ten, 18 teams in this super mega conference, and like I've said, I would take the best six teams in the Big Ten, and I would match them up against the best six teams in the SEC, and it would be close. Like I've said before, it could go three and three, it could go four and two. But the SEC is not as strong as they used to be. They were ahead in shoulders above the Big Ten a couple of years ago. But with Michigan winning the national championship last year, Washington finishing with the runner up, you know, that silver medal, those two teams are in the Big Ten. They got a lot to prove. But you also, when I talked about the Big Ten last time, you know, I talked about those two schools, I broke down their schedules, I did not mention the Ohio State Buckeyes, the Penn State Knitting Alliance, you also have the Wisconsin Badgers in this conference, the Iowa Hawkeyes are in this conference, an Nebraska team that when you start looking at Matt Rule run teams, especially in college, that first year is a year, he really hits the ground running in his second and third years. If he gets the chance, he did it at Baylor, didn't quite do it in the pros, it's a different story. We're not talking about Matt Rule for my Carolina Panthers. I did not like the higher from the start, but we're not talking about that. Nebraska could be a sneaky team this year in the Big Ten. And also, like I said with the additions of Washington, Oregon, USC and UCLA, this conference just gets so big and it just becomes just this knot at the top with just upper Echelon schools, true blue bloods fighting it out to be one of the final two teams in that conference to fight, you know, fight each other in Indianapolis at Lucas Oil Stadium where the Big Ten Championship game is played in December, would not be surprised to see four Big Ten schools in the 12 team playoff, just like I would not be, you know, shocked to see four SEC schools in the playoff coming up in December as well. That leaves four empty spots, you know, one for the ACC, one for the Big 12, and then you're one for the greater five, non-power four, hope you'd listen to that because it will definitely go back to those little schools and I'll talk more about them at a later time. And that leaves one more spot. Could it be five Big Ten schools? Could it be five SEC schools, two Big 12s, two ACCs? You never know, but I would not be surprised that, you know, two-thirds of the 12 team playoff is going to come from the Big Ten and the SEC. But talked about the Big Ten last time, and this was probably about a month ago, like I said, did Michigan, did Washington. I've got three more teams to do, and I'm going to do three more at a later date. This conference is just too deep to not talk about certain schools, I mean, I just kind of have to. It's going to be the same problem in the SEC. There's just too many teams to not talk about. But today I am going to do, of course, Penn State, the net net lines for my boy, Howard Paul, and even if I didn't know Howard Paul, you know, him being a funky and being a good buddy of mine, I would consider, I would still do Penn State. Penn State is one of those teams that when you think of the Big Ten, you think of the upper echelon teams, team that make noise, you think about the Penn State maybe lines. Is it a team that I think did not benefit from the Big Ten getting bigger? Absolutely. Penn State is, they probably won't admit it, but maybe a little nervous. You know, back in the day, you know, the past ten years, they could honestly say they were the third best team in the Big Ten. Now with the additions, of course, of Washington, Oregon and USC, maybe Nebraska taking steps for it, a sleeping giant that is the Wisconsin Badgers, the Iowa Hawkeyes, Penn State's got a fight, you know, and do they have the talent? Do they have a great head coach? Absolutely. Do they have one of the best home-filled advantages in all of sports? Absolutely. And that is including soccer. That is including, you know, NFL. Happy Valley is, it's ironic. It's an ironic name. The visitors do not like Happy Valley. It does not make them feel warm and giddy. Now if they walk in to Happy Valley and get a win, absolutely. It's ecstatic valley, you know, for that visiting team, you know, leaving the state of Pennsylvania. But a team that's got a lot to prove. I'm not going to start with them. I'm going to end with them. I'm going to do the Iowa Hawkeyes first, definitely a team, kind of have a soft spot for. They're kind of along the lines of the two lanes and the JMU's that I love them for the Kinek Wave, you know, the Iowa Wave after every first quarter. They turn, everybody turns and they wave at the Children's Hospital that overlooks, you know, Kinek Stadium. So I've said it before and I will say it again is one of the great traditions that college football holds in all of college football. If it doesn't just tug at your heartstrings, you better check your pulse, you know, grow men can cry. You know, we are in a different time where you don't have to bury your feelings. You can, you know, toxic masculinity is definitely still a thing. You definitely have something I've succumbed to, you know, I'm not going to lie, I was, you know, as a kid, you were taught not to cry, to be tough, to be a man. And nowadays, you know, you have to kind of take the good and the bad and learn when to speak up and learn when to say, Hey, I'm hurt. You know, I'm thinking about this, I'm worried about that, so on and so forth. And the Kinek Wave is something to make grown men cry, I promise you that if you ever get a chance to watch an Iowa game, at least watch the first quarter. Because if it's on TV, they will definitely show the Kinek Wave. And you can always YouTube it as well. It's definitely, it's a new, it's a newer tradition, it hasn't been around that long. But you know, those poor kids, you know, that have cancer, it's definitely something that I have a passion for and a hate for. You know, children should not have cancer, children should fight those battles and those kids that look over a Kinek Stadium to get, you know, a free shot at the game, you know, watch the game for free pretty much, the whole stadium turns around and waves at those kids, just to pretty much tell them, Hey, we're thinking about you, you know, it's a bigger, it's bigger than football, pretty much a little moment like that. So definitely doing the Iowa Hawkeyes first, I'm going to do the Ohio State Buckeyes second and I'm saving Penn State, Mr. Howard pool, his team, I'm going to save him for last just because I want him to listen to the whole show and not just, you know, his team, if I did his Penn State, let me aligns first and pissed him off, he would probably turn off the episode and be like, fuck CM and text me right away and say I hate your stinking gut CM, you do not know college football. I might, dude, I, like I said, we will cross that bridge when we get there, but I have to be neutral, you know, like I said, I can't predict my Texas Tech Law, you know, Texas, oh man, I almost said something I shouldn't have even thought about saying my Texas Tech Red Raiders. I cannot predict them to go 12 and no realistically what I love, you know, Penn State to go undefeated and you know, Texas Tech to go undefeated, absolutely, but you got to be real and you know, you got to be bipartisan, you have to, you know, see, you know, not just white and black, you have to see gray, you have to be right in the middle and I got to do that the right way. So if Penn State has bad ear, but that I'm predicting, don't take it to heart, just doing my job, but I'll say before last, like I said, Iowa and I'm going to do Ohio State and then Penn State last, so let's get into it, super conference like I said, 18 teams, truly believe it could be six, six teams could win this conference, man, maybe even seven, and I haven't even talked about the Northwestern's and the Maryland's and the Rutgers and the Minnesota Golden Gophers, you know, the Nebraska, you know, corn huskers could be in that mix, Illinois, Purdue, Michigan State, Indiana, and UCLA, are they going to give up, you know, are they going to say, you know, where you're, we don't want to be, you know, big 10 conference champions, you're out of your fucking mind, they're going to try, is Maryland going to upset somebody this year? Sure, is Illinois going to knock off somebody this year? Hell, you never know, don't carry out those little guys ever, but like I said, let's go with the Iowa Hawkeye, shall we? I did do Washington, you know, on a previous show, and I did predict them to beat Iowa October 12, so the best possible record that these Iowa Hawkeyes can get is 11 and 1, so let's go through it first game, August 31, Illinois State, nice tune up game, you know, one of these teams, it's just going to show up to Kinnick Stadium, get, you know, $150,000, $200,000 to get stomped by the Iowa Hawkeyes, the Iowa Hawkeyes win August 31st against Illinois State, September 2nd, or sorry, September 7th, I can even read my own handwriting, rivalry game, huge, this is a big rivalry game, I love watching this game, it's kind of lost, it's luster, but it's also one of these rivalry games that hasn't been around too, too long, I don't think they've been playing this rivalry game for more than 20, 25 years, if I'm not mistaken, could be 30, I can guarantee you they haven't been playing for more than 50, let's just say that. 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That's right, Chumba Casino.com has over 100 casino-style games, join today and play for free for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Chumba Casino.com. And a lot of these rivalry games have been playing for over a hundred years. If you want to go back and listen to that show, you might have to scroll a little bit, but you know, seem to do some of the best college rivalries if you want to go tune that in. Definitely up there, Iowa, Iowa State, battle for the Cyhawk trophy. It's kind of gone one way, and it leans towards the team that wears black and yellow. Iowa State just kind of hasn't been able to do it. Beat the Iowa Hawkeyes. Definitely the Iowa Hawkeyes team can statistically look up, you know, for the past 10 years with Kirk Ferrence as one of the best defensive teams in all of college football. And, you know, the same, the offense wins games, defense wins championships. Doesn't necessarily mean the same thing in Iowa, you know, for these Hawkeyes. Are they a good team? Do they usually win 8, 9, 10 games a season? Absolutely, but their offense is just willful, but their defense is just so good. They hold teams to 7, 10 points, score defensive touchdown, and they win. I mean, it doesn't be surprising if you see some 10, 7 games when you play Iowa. I mean, it is what it is. For the benefit of the doubt, I hope Iowa beats Iowa State. Iowa State is a big 12-4. I love it when, you know, big 12 teams sometimes get the upset, but that doesn't happen. September 7, Iowa beats Iowa State in the rivalry game. September 14, another non-conference game. They welcome in Troy. The Troy Trojans, you're probably saying, "Ah, C.M. Troy in Iowa." I think this could be a game that could end up on the Week 3 preview show. Troy is a decent team. I know Kamai Vidal is not walking through those doors, but this is a tribe game as well. You get so high, you get so ready, you know, for that Iowa State game the week before, you know, rivalry game, you practice just so much harder. It's kind of a letdown week. You see Troy, you just kind of go, "Eh, I know Kirk France is not going to say that to his team. They're not going to play like that." But Troy can come out and beat these Iowa Hawkeyes September 14th, I think. But not going to predict it, Iowa beats Troy September 14th. September 21st, they take a road trip to Minnesota first road trip of the year. Could be an interesting team. I think they're in the Nebraska kind of conversation as a team that is maybe the sixth best team, maybe the seventh or eighth best team in this 18-team super conference. Could be a sixth win, seven win Minnesota, just like Nebraska, you never know. But too good of a defense, Iowa wins September 21st. September 28th is their buy, kind of cuts their season into thirds from this first buy from what I'm seeing, goodbye. But haven't necessarily had the toughest schedule going forward. I can see them losing to Iowa State September 7th and maybe even the Minnesota game the week before. So this buy could be a blessing, especially after a loss the week before or two weeks before that in the rivalry game. October 5th, you take a trip to the horse year to play the Ohio State Buckeyes if it was in Iowa, I'd give Iowa a fighting shot. Iowa makes things complicated, they make teams do things that they don't necessarily want to do. But I think Ohio State is just a team on a mission. I mean, I really do. With the two-headed monster of Trevion, Henderson and Quinn John Jubkins, they are going to follow the Michigan blueprint this year. And you know, just try to just bludgeon teams to death on the ground. And only throw it when you have to. I see maybe 40, 50 rushing attempts between those two guys any given game. And just racking up the rushing yards, man. With a very good defense too, Ohio State's defense is going to be very, very good this year. A whole lot of seniors, a whole lot of leadership on that side of the ball. And I'm not just being a Ohio State fan, I truly believe Ohio State has a huge year this year. And they just have to go through these Iowa Hawkeyes. So Iowa gets their first loss October 5th in the horseshoe. October 12th, like I said before, before we started, I did the Washington schedule and Washington beats these Iowa Hawkeyes October 12th. So that gives them back-to-back losses. October 19th, I think this is a good get-right game. But then again, what do I know? October 19th, they get a trip to Spartan Stadium to play Michigan State. A questionable team. Could be good. They could be good. I mean, you never know. But I think those two weeks of just upper echelon teams that they played back-to-back weeks kind of gets right. They play a good game to beat Michigan State October 19th. October 26th, welcome in Northwestern Wildcats. Yet again, they're in the Michigan State territory. They are along with the Minnesota's and Illinois's and Purdue's. Not the best, but could be a knockout, drag-out fight. Not saying that this is not going to be a good game, but Iowa's talent, depth, coaching, defense, all of the above. Just get that win against Northwestern October 26th. November 2nd, welcome in Wisconsin. Going to be up Doozy. I do believe Wisconsin takes a huge step forward, definitely going to do their schedule, adding later point in time. Luke Fickles second year. If he can do anything close to what he did in Cincinnati up in Badgerland, Wisconsin could put their hat in the mix along with the Michigan's and the Penn State, Ohio State, to Washington, Oregon and USC. Why can't they be in the fight to play in Lucas Oil Stadium in December for that conference championship? So too much Wisconsin wins. They go into Canik Stadium and beat the Iowa Hawkeyes. But I'm kind of reconsidering that right now. I don't know. Like I said, this is a questionable question mark. I'm predicting Wisconsin to have a good year, but then again, what the hell do I know? All right, moving on. November 9th, take a road trip to UCLA to play the Bruins in California. I do believe UCLA is one of the weaker of the four teams joining this Supermega conference. That is the Big Ten and losing the week before to Wisconsin's to get right game for the Iowa Hawkeyes they win against UCLA in California, November 9th. November 16th is their last buy, great buy. They've had some just knock out, drag out fights, and it's probably some of the best teams in the Big Ten earlier in that October through November stretch. This is a good time to nurse your wounds, get your shit together in other words. November 23rd, they go to Maryland to play the Terrapins yet again. Another team not quite confident in. I could probably ask Mr. Howard Pool tomorrow, hey, tell me about the Maryland Terrapins. And he'd be like Talia Tagabaloa played for him last year. Maybe that's all he'll tell me. You know what I'm saying? That's more of his conference and I know he probably will tell me more about certain teams than I would know about because that's his conference. Just like I could school anybody on the Big 12. I know that conference like the back of my hand. I know every single team and could tell you who their coach is. But they beat Maryland, they go to Terrapin Land beat Maryland 23rd. Friday November 29th is their last game of the season. They welcome in Nebraska, the cornhuskers. Put a question mark next to this, put a T next to this, and I put a star next to this. This game there is no telling what can happen right here. This is a literal coin flip, Nebraska could be four and six, four and seven at this time. Hell, they could be seven and three, seven and four at the time. I have no idea. But you know what? I will say they close out the year on a high note and they beat Nebraska. Friday November 29th looks like nine. And three, I mean, it's such an Iowa number. I mean, they constantly win eight, nine, ten games every year. But there is, if you're an Iowa Hawkeye fan, you should be a little worried. Your offense has been woeful. For years, up on years, you fired Hilkirk Farris, fired his son. The offensive coordinator in the middle of the year, just because their offense was just got awful. And maybe there's some chirping and a little bit of noise up there in Iowa that, man, he's seven, eight, nine, ten win seasons just is not cutting it. And I know that is very greedy of an Iowa fan to say, but at some point in time embracing mediocrity and the definition of insanity has to start going through your mind. You have to start thinking, man, this is the same shit every single year. Our offense is bad. Our defense is good. And we kind of contend every year. We get a decent ball game every year, but at some point in time, someone's going to have to step up and say, man, when are we going to take that step? Because these ten years have been the same shit, looks the same, smells the same, tastes the same, everything is the same for the Iowa Hawkeyes. But it is a good thing as well. It's consistent. See the glass, how you want it. Some people see the glass half full. Some people see it half empty. Some people see it, hey, it's a glass. I mean, however you see things, that's just how it is about the Iowa Hawkeyes. It's just definitely a monkey wrench. I would call the Iowa Hawkeyes in the Big Ten, could definitely ruin some teams of years. So don't be surprised if that happens. All right, moving on. We are talking about my Ohio State Buckeyes next. Ryan Day Lad definitely want to talk about that real quick. This is a put up or shut up year for Ryan Day. I think this is possibly one of the most talented teams he's ever coached. I'm hearing a little hearsay about Urban Meyer. He went and checked them out in their spring, summer practices and so on and so forth. He said this is possibly one of the most talented teams he's ever seen at Ohio State. And at some point in time, Ohio State has to cross that threshold. Not only knock off Michigan, who's, I'm pretty sure has owned you for the past three years, I want to say, get that monkey off your back and make a playoff when your conference championship and makes a noise in the College Football playoff. You have not hoisted that trophy in 10 years. I do believe it was 2014 when the Ohio State Buckeyes won the inaugural 14 playoff. And I want to say it was 2014, you know, don't yell at me if I'm wrong. But Urban Meyer did it with, you know, Zeke Elliott, you know, some studs on that team. But in 10 years, you know, that trophy's getting really lonely up there in a Buckeye land. So Ryan Day's got to show me something. Don't be surprised if, you know, Ohio State has a lackluster year, loses to a Charon-Mourled Michigan at the end of the year. You know, there might be some people calling for Ryan Day's head and it's kind of the Iowa thing, a consistent, yes, Ohio State wins a lot of games every single year. But they get the best talent in the country. They can recruit with the likes of the Texases and the Georges and so on and so forth. But at some point in time, you got to, it's got to be, put it on paper, you know, put it on film. We got to see it. And I truly believe they take a huge step forward. And I, like I said, I predicted Clemson and Ohio State. I do believe to play for the National Championship, you know, coming up in 2025. And I think this team could do it. I really do. I love the dual headed monster in the backfield, I do believe, like I said before earlier, that this Ohio State team takes Michigan's blueprint from last year. And you know, the biggest form of flattery, you know, is imitation. And I do believe Ohio State does that this year. And they hoist that college football playoff national championship trophy. And it's inaugural 12 team year because they did it in the inaugural 2024, 2014 year, its first year. So it's kind of poetic justice that Ohio State hoist that trophy come 2025. And also this Ohio State schedule, it sets up beautifully for these Buckeyes. You do not play the USC Trojans. You do not play the Wisconsin Badgers, nor you play the Washington Huskies. That's three potential L's that you do not have on your on your schedule. So if not now, fucking win with this talent, with the coaching, with the recruiting, with the one of the best home field advantages in the college football, when are the excuses going to stop? And when are you guys going to perform? And I do believe it is this year. Let's go to their schedule. August 31 opening day is Akron, the zips, do you believe I want to say Akron zips? You know, easy peasy, you know, I know it is kind of a rival Akron is in Ohio, but they just can't hang with the Ohio State Buckeyes August 31. September 7th, Western Michigan come to the Buckeye State to the horseshoe. I want to say it's the Broncos, I don't know stallions. I know it's a horsey though, I will say that. But the horsey used to stallions, whoever Western Michigan is lose September 7th in the horseshoe. September 14th, one thing I do not like about this Ohio State schedule is their first buy. Buy in the first three or four weeks of the season, that sucks. That means their schedule is either going to be back or front-end loaded. And let's just hope your buy comes at a decent time. So let's find out. September 21st, welcome in Marshall, the thundering herd, big shast, Randy Moss, alum, can't hang. Two weeks, you know, to prepare for the Marshall thundering herd. This is going to be ugly, this is a 72-3 type game, September 21st, beating the brakes off the Marshall thundering herd, these Ohio State Buckeyes. September 28th, take a road trip to Spartan Stadium, to play the Michigan State Spartans. Like I said, a team that just don't know about could be a trap game, absolutely, Ohio State could come in high and mighty, yeah, they played Akron, Western Michigan and Marshall. You want to talk about the equivalent of a cupcake schedule, your first four or five years, four or five weeks of the season. This Michigan State team could punch these Ohio State Buckeyes in the mouth and get an upset, but it doesn't happen, but I will say Michigan State keeps it close for a little while. But ultimately loses to the Buckeyes, September 28th. October 5th, Iowa comes to town, comes to the horseshoe, I just did Iowa, and of course they lose to my Buckeyes right here. October 5th, like I said, if it was in Iowa, I might risk the upset right there, but not at home. October 12th, here we go, this is I think the first true test, if it wasn't Iowa the week before and maybe the Michigan State game two weeks before this, they take a trip to Oregon to play in the Otson Zoo, definitely a crazy environment. They come from a crazy environment, but something about those Northwest schools, those expat 12 schools, new big 10 schools, it's a different vibe. That 60 something thousand at Otson can be just as loud as an 80, 90,000 seat stadium that some of the big 10 teams will go, so don't be surprised if this environment kind of gets to Ohio State just a little bit early, but Ohio State wins October 12th at Otson Zoo, I guess the Oregon Ducks, October 19th. Here we go, their last buy of the season, ah man, kind of sucks, it is what it is though, sometimes good teams get crappy buys, you know, you think they've only played 3, 4, 5, 6 games, and they've had both their buys, so this is going to be a gauntlet going towards the end of the season, not saying who they're playing is a gauntlet, but if there's an injury here in, you know, the end of October, early November, all these games, they start to add up and that's when sometimes the floor can kind of come underneath you as a team and you start getting punched in the mouth and you just kind of realize, you know, we're not as good as everybody says we are as or as what we think we are. So October 26th, ah welcome in Nebraska, corn huskers, like I said, put a question mark next to it, put a team next to it, but what the buy the week before, ah this is, you know, poor Nebraska, whoa is me corn huskers, the Ohio State Buckeyes flex on the Nebraska corn huskers, October 26th, easy, easy win. November 2nd, here we go, go to Penn State to play the Knitney Lions, ah probably going to be a wide out, ah you never know, I, I have yet to do Penn State schedule, but you know, we will see, ah, ah more than likely I'm looking at it right now, ah yeah, that's going to be there wide out for sure if it's not November 2nd, it's going to be November 9th, with the Huskies coming into town, but I would bet it's going to be right here, ah man, this is tough, Oregon, I mean, maybe Iowa, that's, they had a cupcake schedule, but also when you look at, I'm looking at Penn State schedule, a lot can happen before that game. We all have somewhere we're trying to get to, as the largest energy producer in Colorado, Chevron is working to responsibly meet rising energy demand, so everyone can get to where they want to be, you've arrived, that's energy and progress, visit chevron.com/tankless, an official message from Medicare. Graham, my premium is zero and my out-of-pocket costs are low, who should apply, single people making less than $23,000 a year, or married couples who make less than $31,000 a year. Even if you don't think you qualify, it pays to find out, go to ssa.gov/extrahelp. It is Ryan here and I have a question for you, what do you do when you win? Like are you a fist pumper? A woo hoo, a hand clap or a high fiver? If you want to hone in on those winning moves, check out Chumba Casino. Choose from hundreds of social casino style games for your chance to redeem serious cash prizes. There are new game releases weekly plus free daily bonuses, so don't wait, start having the most fun ever at Chumba Casino.com. Sponsored by Chumba Casino, no purchase necessary, vgw group, void work prohibited by law, 18 plus terms and conditions apply. On Penn State's side, oh man, this is tough. I'm gonna do it, here we go, upset for how state goes into Happy Valley and leaves, not so happy. There you go, Mr. Harropol, there you go. November 9th, go home, welcome in Purdue. If they were going to Purdue, this might be a worry, some game. Strange shit happens at Purdue, but that's a get right game, losing the week before to Penn State. They're gonna blow out the Purdue Boilermakers November 9th. November 16th, take a trip to Northwestern, yet again, they know that that's a conference loss, you know, that they just had a couple of weeks ago, that they know that they cannot have another one as stat as the Big Ten is this year. You cannot have two conference losses, and potentially play for your conference title because it's just too tight at the top, I mean, it just is, they beat Northwestern November 16th, November 23rd, welcome in Indiana, the Hoosiers, like I said, this is a get right game, but also could be a trap game because the last game of the season is the next week, and they might be overlooking, a Northwestern might be overlooking in Indiana slowly, you know, maybe getting two weeks to prepare for a Michigan, so be wary if you're an Ohio State fan of November 16th, November 23rd, I know it's at Northwestern and home against Indiana, but don't look forward to that Michigan game last week of the season. But like I said, I don't think they're going to lose either one of them, I was just throwing a cautionary tale in the wind at something that could possibly happen. November 30th, last game of the season, you welcome in the Michigan Wolverines, and of course, I predicted already that, you know, the Michigan schedule earlier in the summer that they go into Ohio State, and Ohio State finally gets that monkey off their back and beat Michigan for the first time since the 2021 season, I want to say. So something along those lines, you know, get that bitter, ugly taste out of their mouth just because it's all we've been hearing for three years, going on for that, you know, Ryan Day's not that good, you know, Harbaugh's better and Michigan is, you know, awesome and Ohio State sucks, and rivalry, I mean, like I said before, this is the best rivalry in sports, you know, people will say, you know, your New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox, I think it loses its luster because they play each other 28 times a year, you know, don't get me wrong, Boston and L.A., you know, your Celtics and your Lakers, great rivalry, definitely lasts a long time, it has that hate factor. But something about Ohio State, Michigan, man, it's just, the pure fucking hate, and like I said, Ohio State exudes, you know, gets rid of those demons, gets that monkey off their back and they beat Michigan November 30th for the first time in a long time, looks like they're going to go 11 and 1. I'm going to say potential, you know, conference championship also depends on what I'm about to do with this Penn State schedule, and if, you know, Penn State loses a couple of games, that game doesn't necessarily hurt them as much as possibly, you know, Penn State going undefeated, you know, we will see just here in a little bit, and 11 and 1 is good enough to make the college football playoff, yeah, there will be a fifth through 11 seed because they won't be a conference champion, but they're still going to make the college football playoff. Too many easy games, I mean, I'm sorry, no USC, no Wisconsin, no Washington, you know, that's easy, you know, yeah, I know you got your Penn State's in your, I was in your organs, but, and then of course Michigan, but other than that, you've four tough teams about all you really have. I mean, there's no excuse why you can't go undefeated or at least have 11 wins in one loss. So here we go, Ohio State, 11 to one, potential college football playoff national champion from what I say, but my, you know, potential conference champion first though, because you want to be a one or two or three or four seed and that playoff come up in December. All right, last but not least, the Penn State, Nittany Lions, James Franklin, Lead, Nittany Lions. As much as I just talked about Ohio State, Ryan Day, coming out, that's definitely saying that he has something to prove and James Franklin is to say the least. This guy has, want to talk about pressure, go out and lose August 31st at West Virginia in the backyard brawl, you know, one of just an ugly rivalry game against a West Virginia team that I think takes huge steps forward. This was in West Virginia team that upset a quite a few people in the big 12 last year and I do believe they played Penn State pretty good in that opening game last year as well. So see what happens in not so happy Valley if, you know, Penn State comes out and loses week one, but let's see. August 31st, like I said, at West Virginia, not an easy place to play. Mio on Pusker Stadium is not a easy place to play. And like I said, just a little while ago, this West Virginia team, I think can contend in the big 12. I know that doesn't say a whole whole lot. I've ranked, you know, big 12, you know, as a whole, as a conference as the fourth best power for conference, it is what it is. But this West Virginia team is no fucking joke. So be prepared week one, West Virginia can beat you, but it doesn't happen. Y'all beat West Virginia August 31st. September 7th, welcome in Bowling Green. Like I said, a good game, you know, the week before you might come in a little battered, a little bruised. Yeah, you busted your ass for that robbery game the week before. It could be a let down game against Bowling Green, but just too much talent, you know, and it's the opening game, you know, in Happy Valley. So you're not losing that game. September 7th, I think it's Bowling Green. Here we go again. You know, this makes a lot of sense. September 14th is your first buy. It's the same as Ohio State's. So no one really gets an advantage. This this go around September 21st. Welcome in Kent State Falcons. Oh, I don't know Kent State. I don't know. I could be right. I could be wrong. I don't know. But two weeks to get ready for Kent State, that's going to be a 66 to 7 type game. Penn State blows out Kent State September 21st. September 28th is your conference opener. It looks like you welcome in Illinois. Yeah, yet again, I hate to talk ill of the Illinois fighting a line. I, but this is can hang. Maybe if it was at Illinois, you know, maybe, you know, I mean, Penn State has fallen at, you know, trap games just like that in the past, lose to a team that they're supposed to beat, you know, stranger things have happened. But here we go. Penn State wins September 28th against Illinois. October 5th. Welcome in the UCLA Bruins. This is a great little role. You know, Penn State is on right now, you know, going for their 4-0 at this point, welcoming in possibly one of the weaker teams in the Big 10 and packed old pack 12. But don't be surprised if UCLA puts up a fight. I don't know if Chip Kelly is still the coach there or not, but strange things happen, but it doesn't happen in Happy Valley. October 5th, you beat UCLA. October 12th, here we go. I put a bracket right here. This is where the bracket starts. This is the toughest part of your schedule. This is a the telltale of how Penn State's season is going to go because the floor can come right under James Franklin's feet very, very fast. Here we go. October 12th, take a trip to California to play the better California team. That is the SC Trojans. That's tough. Lincoln Riley has a X to grind. He's going to show the Big 10 that he's going to try to pull a Texas. He is going to try to show up day one and win a conference title the first year being a new member of a new conference. Do not be surprised if UFC has something to say. But I don't know if this is true or not, but does Penn State have kind of a bad juju about being in California? Do they play well in California? I want something tells me that they just when they play in California they don't do well. Shit. I'm sorry man. Got to give you your first L right there to USC. If you're playing at home, yeah, I say you win that game. But especially with the Kent State, Illinois, UCLA the week before, that's a step up in weight class. I hate to say it, but I got to put Lincoln Riley just a little bit ahead of James Franklin as of right now. So I could be wrong. Like I said, I hope to be wrong. I would never pull for USC against Penn State brothers. So hopefully I am wrong. October 19th is your buy. Perfect time for a buy, especially losing to USC the week before, but it's the exact same schedule as Ohio State. You have your two buys early in your season. You still have a back-ended season or back-ended schedule that's just loaded. So here we go. October 26th, take a trip to Wisconsin to play the Badgers. Tough, tough place to play. Everybody knows the jump around. Wisconsin plays very, very good at home. And from what I predict, you know, earlier in the show, I know what I've talked about before, but this Wisconsin team could be very dangerous. Do not sleep on the Badgers. If you do not know who the Badgers are, you will know the Badgers by the end of the season. I do believe that they are going to roll off a couple of wins. Maybe not necessarily contend in the Big Ten championship or play in Indianapolis at the end of the year, but don't be surprised if Wisconsin gets a couple of upsets during the year and quite possibly ends a couple of teams shot at playing in Indianapolis. So I don't see it here, though, with the loss of two weeks before to USC, they had a buy to kind of lick their wounds and an extra week to prepare for the Badgers. So I don't see Wisconsin beating Penn State right here. October 26th, November 2nd, Ohio State. You know, you get the win. I know I just predicted Ohio State to go into Happy Valley and lose. So I got to give you that win there in November 2nd, November 9th. Here we go again. Yet again, another juggernaut. But Washington comes into your house. The Huskies, the reigning defending runner-up. You know, definitely a team that's lost a lot. New head coach in Jed Fish. I don't know what Washington's schedule. Let's see here. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Y'all win because they go to Penn State. Yep, I'm looking at it right here. So you guys win against Washington, November 9th, November 16th. Take a road trip to Purdue. I put a T right here and you're high. You just beat, you just beat Wisconsin. You just beat Ohio State at home, potentially fucking up their perfect year, knocking off the national runners up the week before. And you go to Purdue. That is literally the script for trap. God, that's good. That game out of all of these games. That what that game should scare you the most, Mr. I would pull just because if it's the way that this is going, you're going to have a letdown eventually. I mean, you have to come back to earth. You just have to. But I'm going to predict it doesn't happen. November 16th, you go to Purdue and beat the Boilermakers. November 23rd, go to Minnesota to play Golden Gophers. Yet again, could be a scary place to play. Roll the boats, you know, yada, yada, yada. Scary. But I think this is unherald, you know, unherald of territory at this point in time. You finally got the Ohio State monkey off your back. You went to Wisconsin and beat, you know, the Badgers, you know, you welcomed in the Huskies and beat them. You're kind of feeling yourself. Yeah, you beat West Virginia at the first of the year. You've played some pretty tough teams and you've come out unscathed besides going to, you know, LA to play the Trojans. And that could be a game you could, you know, win as well. So I think you have a good mindset going into the last two games of your season. So you go to Minnesota and win. I say close, because like I said, I just see something happening with Penn State towards the end of the year that just kind of you just kind of go up. It's the same old Penn State Navy lines. They could have did it, but they just can't. But not predicting it here. November 23rd, you go to Minnesota and win November 30th is your last game of the season. And you welcome in Maryland, not real sure if this is a rivalry game. I don't think so. But Maryland goes into Happy Valley. And that means you guys wrap up your season with a win, a nice undefeated home season, you know, way going 11 and 1. Your only loss comes in October to the USC Trojans. But hear me out, Mr. Paul. The season can get put on its head as fast as it can go 11 and 1. That stretch that I said October 12th through November 9th, you can lose every single game. And I put stars and I put something right next to it. And it says James Franklin fired, especially let's say August 31st, you lose the backyard brawl to one of your rivals, the West Virginia Mountaineers. That would kind of start the heat, you know, under his seat a little bit. Let's say you do go to LA and lose to the Trojans, go to Wisconsin, lose to the Badgers, and then the honey, you know, the cream, the frosting on the top would be the week after Wisconsin. When Ohio State comes into your house and beats you, that is the recipe for a fire. And that actually happens very often in college football, especially towards the end of your season. You kind of go, let's see what the assistant coach has. Let's just kind of see if we can bounce back, maybe the coach is the problem. Maybe the coach is why we're not competing for big 10 championships. So do not be surprised that little stretch October 12th through November 9th. Of course, adding on that August 31st opening day game. James Franklin is not a Penn State Nint any more. And that would just only set the Penn State Nint any lines back even further. And I hate to say it, but it is what it is. So I'm predicting 11 and one, but I don't know. So much can happen brother. And you know how crazy, you know, college football is. And like I said, if they end up, you know, going 10 and two, 11 and one, I mean, there's nothing wrong with that either. I mean, I think that is a great year in the big 10 with the strong big 10. So good luck to you guys going forward for sure. That all that is all for me guys. I am coming at you at an hour exactly. Dang, I talk too much. I'm going to come back. I will come back to the big 10 and I will do Wisconsin, Oregon and USC. So that would be, you know, that would give a really good look at the big 10 and how deep the big 10 conferences. So that would mean I would be doing eight teams out of the 18 team field that is the big 10 that could potentially have good years and go to the college football playoff and just sorry, Penn State fans 11 and one. That's a potential conference birth, you know, championship birth that is almost positive a spot in the college football playoff. And I would say it would be the first ever. I'm not sure if Penn State's gone to the college football playoff in the past. So I'm not real sure. So it could be very interesting. Like I said, I would definitely include them. And it's a put up or shut up here for both Ohio State and Penn State. So best of luck to those respective teams going forward. I will be back. And some I talked to you guys and going back to my conference. That is the big 12. Not real sure who I'm going to do to be perfectly honest with you. Let me see here. Let me grab my paper really quick. I did Oklahoma State in case date last time I did the big 12. So it looks like I want to do West Virginia, Utah, Arizona. And of course, my Texas Tech Red Raiders. So I will bet you guys do. I'm not going to shout out all the countries. I am going to shout out though. Italy, Lithuania, Belgium, Brazil, Estonia, and Spain, the new countries to join that very, very long list of countries that listen to the football function. Hopefully me too as well. Mike sends me the list whenever we get new additions. So I'm hoping all of you guys listen to me as well, not just the football function where the guys talk NFL and you got the Grimery for doing rivalry series. Hopefully double J comes back in some sort of fashion. Maybe the fantasy again, maybe doing some guest appearances. Hope Goose is going to be doing the primetime games coming up in the fall as well. And I do know the Grim is going to be taking care of all the international games throughout the year, across the pond, Germany, all those games everywhere. So big shout out to all those guys, Mr. Ritter as well, and Terry Minifield. The two guys that just hold up the flag, that is the football function. I am just a subsidiary member, such a very show of the football function. We are all a family. I'm just a college football guy, because like I've said before, this is, I love college football. I truly do from the bottom of my heart. And I hope you can tell when I talk college football that I'm not just talking. I actually hope you think I know what I'm talking about. So please, you know, like I said before, guys, promote us, put us out there, show, you know, play it at the work site. Show your friends, tell your family members, you know, say this guy doesn't know his shit. I mean, you guys can do anything that you want to be perfectly honest with you. But all I can ever ask for guys is just promotion. Help us get out there. Help us hit new voices, man. I mean, just because our new new places, you know, on all those places where you can find this Apple podcast. Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon, Music, Audible, Castbox, Deeper, Podcast, Addict, Potchaser, Gels, Siving in India. And of course, if you want these episodes ad-free, get the Patreon app. It is just a dollar a month. You get Cousin Mike, unfiltered, unapologetic, and no ads, because what more could you possibly ask for, baby? Listen, Cousin Mike, as God intended. If you want to give me a shout out, if you want to give me a follow, get me @MichaelH5469 on X, formerly Twitter, however you put it on there as well. I post, give me a follow, give me a message, say I don't know my shit, Cousin Mike, I can't stand you, Cousin Mike, I love you, whichever way, man. It just means you're listening, and that's all I could ever want, man. I mean, come on, man. I still love you even if you hate me, because all like Cat Williams said, if people ain't hating you, you ain't doing your job, and you ain't doing it right. So that's all I got to say. So please, please follow us on our social media, football function 2.0 on Instagram and on Facebook. Look for that cool little decal that is the football function. Give us a like. Give us a follow. Give us a shout out. Give us a comment. Do whatever you do. Just promote us, because we can't do it by ourselves. We need the help of family and friends. So big out all the family and friends out there. Mr. Ritter, Terry, Double J, Goose, KG, Kevin Watson, Big John Carrasco, DJ Falken, Coos, Mall, Detroit, Kyle, Howard, Poole. Make sure to ask you, Homie, Grimry, for everybody else out there. CM, the other CM, Camalinda's. Make sure to ask you, Homie, I hope you are doing well. And everybody else out there, man. If I do not call your name, I am so sorry. And you know, I shout out all those countries, but you know, if you were in the great United States, you know, where the stars at night are big and bright down here in Texas as well. From Maine to Florida, you know, from California to Montana, I still love you as well. I know I haven't shouted you guys out, but you know, I love you. You know, all over the world, baby. You were just football fans, man. And I just want to give you guys quality stuff and get you guys ready for college football. Because like I said, you can call me Professor CM because I'm trying to school you on the college football. And if you know, you're not the biggest college football fan, I'm trying to help you out. I want to try to give you stuff to watch. And so you learn and then guys to watch out for in the drafts on and so forth. So that's my ulterior motive, right? It's to get you guys to pay attention all the way up until draft, because that's when the draft starts getting fun, because I told you about them all year and even in the summer, right? So that further ado, I'm going to give you the long kids tonight. I bid you guys a do you guys take care, have a great, safe summer. You know, like I said, I have fun, relax, cut the yard, go to a pool, fire up the grill, pop some tops, but have fun and be safe. All I can ever ask for you guys, take care of yourselves. Cousin Michael loves you to death. So know where you're going, know who you are, know who you serve, and know what to do when you get there, or I come back. God bless. See you soon. An official message from Medicare. A new law is helping me save more money on prescription drug costs. Maybe you can save too. With Medicare's extra help program, my premium is zero, and my out of pocket costs are low. Who should apply? Single people making less than $23,000 a year, or married couples who make less than $31,000 a year. Even if you don't think you qualify, it pays to find out. Go to SSA dot gov slash extra help paid for by the US Department of Health and Human Services. Hello, it is Ryan, and we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps, you know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. 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