FM Talk 1065 Podcasts
Jolene Roxbury Variety Hour 7-20-24
[music playing] The following broadcast is brought to you live and in color. I don't want to hear no more of that goofy talk. Shield of the talk and all you got to do is be a good listener. Popular radio entertainment for the masses. Sweet Jesus, please let this work. Stabilize. [screaming] It's time to have some fun. There's a good chat all the way. [music playing] Yes, it's time to laugh and sing. Time to brighten up, y'all Steve. We've got to lean up in the house and the rocks bare play is on the way. Jolene, it's Mama. If somebody had bear with you. It's time to have some fun. There's a good time on the way. It's time to laugh and sing. Time to brighten up y'all day. We've got Jolene up in her house and the rocks bare play is on the way. [music playing] [cheering] Greetings everybody. Hello. Welcome back. We missed you. We did. We really did. We were away last week and it's always good to be back though. And with me and the studio this week, he's bracing us with his presence. Big cousin John. Mr. John Bell. Thank you. No, no, don't applaud. Don't applaud. Just throw money. Thank you. Any money lands on this floor. It's mine. Jolene, you're looking rather spry this weekend. Thank you. Feeling a little spry. I know that beach trip was exhausting. Uh-huh. So all that physical therapy must be helping you bounce back. It is. Oh, wait. Have you disclosed the fact that you had rotator cuff surgery? Yeah, I did. Because your cuff apparently rotated too much? Well, that wasn't the problem exactly, but close enough. Okay, good. Well, you certainly are moving around splendidly. Yes. Mm-hmm. Well, look, I've got some bowling balls, some anvils, and a couple of pianos I need to move into the attic. Can you help a brother out? No. So how is it you guys, you and Jean, were not exhausted after all those days at the beach. Walking on the beach wears me out. Well, the Mrs. and I did not exert ourselves by getting out on the beach in all that incredible heat like you guys did. Oh, it was. There's really no way to get away from the heat, even with a breeze. We wisely stayed pretty low-key, cool, and comfortable, which is why we didn't need to recover from our vacation like some of you did. Hey, don't look at me when you say that. I wasn't drinking this weekend, or last week, rather. Hey, I told you Earl was going to create some problems, so that one's on you. You started creating problems before we left. Getting back to my rotator cuff situation. I am so glad I have that behind me, and I had the best doctor in the universe. My surgeon, Dr. Cadair, at the orthopedic group, he was amazing. His staff is amazing. Everybody at the orthopedic group was really fantastic, and continued to be so. Wait, did you just say Dr. Kildair? No, Cadair. Who's Dr. Kildair? What do you mean, "who" was Dr. Kildair? Who's Dr. Kildair? The TV show, you know, back in the '50s, '60s. I just Googled it. It says '61. You don't remember? I wasn't born. Okay. Yeah. It was before your time. But still, you haven't ever heard about it? Tell me about Dr. Kildair. Richard Chamberlain played a young intern working at a big metropolitan hospital. You want a golden glow? Okay. Right now, we're talking about my doctor, my surgery. Okay. Dr. Kildair. Kildair. Sorry. Dr. Kildair. Uh-huh. He has the good fortune of having you as a patient. Yes. Poor guy. Hey. So, how gray is his hair now? John, I'm not a bad patient. At all. I do all of my at-home exercises. I do exactly what the doctor tells me to do. I don't lift, push, or pull anything I'm not supposed to. I'm a good patient. Okay. Sorry. But, God bless him, because I know what you're like when you're suffering physical discomfort. I'm pretty sure you're causing me a little bit of suffering right now. Maybe he can help you with your pneumococcal pneumonia. What? I don't have pneumococcal pneumonia. I heard it on a commercial and it's my new favorite phrase. Oh. Phew. Phew. Phew. Phew. It's not funny if you have it. You know, I have been asked by several people how I came to choose Dr. Kildair and the orthopedic group in Mobile. So, we've kind of kept this under wraps, but... Before there was Dr. House, Dr. Sean Murphy, and other small-screen diagnostic geniuses, there was Dr. Kildair. Standby for a rare time-consuming dream sequence. As Julian and the Roxbury players' time travel to 1961, where a handsome young intern stars in his own television show. We join them now as Dr. Kildair evaluates Jolene's X-rays and delivers his medical assessment and talks about Dr. Stuff. Ms. Roxbury looks like you have a bone spur that's tendon to cut into a couple of tendons and I'm in tendon to fix them. Well, respectfully, hold your horses. I'm not sure I want to be operated on here in the time portal. What's your advice? You have two options. Okay. We can cut on you with our 1961 surgery tools, which will leave wretched scars and is quite risky. That sounds terrible. Also, arthroscopic procedures haven't been invented yet. Yeah, if I have to have surgery, I'm a fan of the "scopic" type surgeries. Sooo, it's my expert opinion that you go for option two. Which is? You can go back to the future, so to speak, to 2024 and see Dr. Kildair at the Orthopedic Group. I spend a lot of my time-time traveling patients to him. He's amazing. Plus, their mobile office is located behind a really good steakhouse so you can work in lunch around your appointment. Lunch sounds good. Did I mention that I am free after our surgery? Sorry, I think I'm opting for option two. I'm going back to the future to see Dr. Kildair at the Orthopedic Group. All right. Suit yourself. That's a Dr. Juke. But as a going away gift, I'm going to leave you this lovely pair of Mother of Pearl rotator cufflinks to go with that madmen themed dinner jacket I've seen you wear in some of those old episodes. See you later! Yeah, yeah, yeah, we ain't right. We ain't right, as Sean Sullivan says. You ain't right. So that's it. Don't live in pain. You're not going to go away. Go see Dr. Kildair at the Orthopedic Group in Mobile. Follow his post-op instructions. Do your PT. You'll be fine. But if that doesn't work, pop a few of these. Do you often suffer from back aches, irritable bowel, bloatedness, muscle spasm, anxiety, depression, explosive diarrhea, incontinence, swelling of the limb, blurred vision, unwanted hair, headache, carpal tunnel syndrome? Are you uncoordinated and find yourself unable to perform simple tasks? Like what? Such as skiing on the backs of dolphins. That happens to me just the other day. Well, if you're a woman, chances are that all of the above-listed symptoms will happen to you and your life will begin falling apart by the time you reach age 30. Scientific studies conducted in laboratories and places you've never heard of have determined that women are inherently weak, fragile, and typically unable to cope with life. Only by being born female, there is a 100% guarantee that your entire skeletal system is doomed to collapse. Now if you listen closely, you can hear your bones shrinking as we speak. Face it, you're a woman, and there's little that can be done about it until now. From the makers of Ellen Magyoy in Euroblast, the world's first caffeinated douche comes Tylophim, our team of certifiable biochemists, have created a chain of really big, scary words designed to make you feel hyper-conscious and develop an extreme disabling awareness about your mortality. If you are a woman, you should take Tylophim. We're not sure what it does, but our research proves that you should be buying it Tylophim because being a woman is scary as hell. Right with another installment of Southern Communication Skills 101. This segment is designed to inform and educate those of us who sometimes find ourselves in social situations which require a working knowledge of extreme southern speak or culture. Our word today is "limo" where you or I would use this word as the short form of the noun limousine, you will find its use in extreme southern speak is quite different indeed. As in the following query, say DD, would you mind passing that kettle so that I might serve myself up a limo stew? Or in the declarative, say kletus, don't use your skinned lighter to check the fuel level as I believe there's still a limo gasoline in that can. You must always be aware of the possibility that the word limo can be used twice in the same sentence, thus, candy will have to rent a limo for her wedding as her bridesmaids have a limo fat on them then the pickup will accommodate. I'm Regina Wainwright, I hope today's lesson will be of help to you. Good day!- Hey, you know, I want to thank you first of all for hanging out with us right now bringing us along with you no matter where you are, whatever you happen to be getting yourself up to. We are happy to be along for the ride. We love going places. We love riding. Like a bunch of Labrador Retrievers with our heads hanging out the window. I also want to remind you guys, you need to download the FMTalk1065 app. It is free, and once you do that, you're going to have access to, gosh, over 50 hours of local programming each week, quality local programming. Programming much better than this show, much more better than ours, but we hope we make up for it by being just so darned, endearing, and cute. We're going to be taking a quick break, shortly, so for goodness sakes, don't go anywhere. We need you! I'm going to be taking a quick break. We're going to be taking a quick break, but we're going to be taking a quick break. Make it past security this time, but if you do head this way, just call me first, okay? And now, live from her kitchen, beachside on Alabama's beautiful Gulf Coast. The woman who loves to eat, but hates to cook. Actually, she doesn't know how to cook. That's enough. I can tell by the half empty kitchen of Bloody Mary's, the Jolene is here, and as always, in the kitchen, the man who has rescued me from way too many culinary disasters to number. We're going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and I'm going to be taking a quick break, and They don't mean for you to count 21 to 25 shrimp. They mean that that's how many come to a panel. Okay, so when you see 31, 35, but when you see the grocery store got a sale on what they call large shrimp, and they say it's a 60, 70 count shrimp, them shrimp ain't large. I got fingernails bigger than that. You know, so any, I like a shrimp that's, you know, somewhere at least in the 20, 25 size range. I'll settle sometimes for a 31, 35 size. I really like them 16 count size shrimp way. Everyone, every shrimp weighs an ounce. That's 16 shrimp to the pound on those 16 count, you know? Yeah, that's a good idea. Big shrimp, I'll get to work in a song right away. No, you will not. Oh, sir, mix a lot. None. Alec, go ahead. All right, so you know what I mean when I say all these numbers, like 21, 25, 36 and 24, that, you know, 36, 24, 36. What does that sound like to you, dude? I think we talking about shrimp. Yes, actually you were. You were talking about big shrimp. Yeah. Nothing about measurements specifically, just big shrimp. You just need to see it this way. No, no. I like big shrimp, and I cannot lie. I bought a butter, melted on the side. With the open those doors to the seafood place. I rock fire. There mix a lot. Hey, you got a stop. You shut up. I asked you to stop that. You look like I'm so sorry. Do you mind? You know, bell, these segments are getting worse and worse. All right, let's get back to talking about shrimp. So let me tell you what, I'm going to turn it off. The first thing I do is I got to make my Cajun barbecue butter. That ain't because that's how we start off. So shrimp is easy. You get to shrimp, you peel the shrimp, you take the head off, you take the tail off, you peel it or whatever, okay? But we're going to make a Cajun barbecue butter. So I take about half a pound of butter, and I salt it. I take a tablespoon of cayenne. I take a tablespoon of black pepper. I take a couple of teaspoons of salt. I get a tablespoon of crushed red pepper. Now see, that's crushed red pepper and cayenne. This isn't going to light you up. Alec, does it have to be very spicy? This is a Cajun, man. What you talking about, boudreau? I take that as a yes. Well, anyhow, I tell you, I take the cayenne, the black pepper, the salt, the crushed red pepper. I take some dried thyme and some dried base and some drier oregano, and then I take some fresh garlic, all minced thyme. And then I take a couple of tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce. Worcestershire sauce. Whatever. Sauce, man. Whatever you want, call it, all right? All right. So as I whipped this butter until it's smooth, with all these ingredients in it, all right? And I got what I call my Cajun barbecue butter. And just because I told you about all them hot spices and all those spices and things, don't think it's going to ruin your shrimp. It's not OK, because it takes a lot for the shrimp to absorb that flavor. I melt me some of my Cajun barbecue butter. See the recipe if you can't remember what I just said. Yeah, like I totally don't remember what you just said. All right, I melt the butter in a large skillet. Over medium-high heat, because I don't want the butter to burn. You're going to remember, now butter burns, OK? Because it's got a lot of fat in it. So you don't want to cook it too high. Get that butter melted at too high of a temperature, because it'll start turning brown instead of yellow-like butter. All right. Then I take those peeled and the drained shrimp, and I toss them in the skillet. And I start sauteing them in that butter until they just begin to turn pink. Then I get me a good old pan of some of that beer we drinking out there on the beach. Oh, whoa, hey, Alec, I just drink the last of that beer you like. And no matter what flavor I'm not promoting any kind of flavor or whatever, I just saying, you know, when you had to beat, you got to have your good beer. So I just take some of that beer I'm drinking, and I pour that into the skillet, about four ounces. I ain't wasting a good old 12-ounce bottle of beer on this shrimp, all right? I just hit it with about four ounces of beer. And then I get about four ounces of some chicken broth. You can get the can, just get your can of chicken broth. And so then I pour that in and I let those shrimp kind of boil. They're kind of boiling that 'cause we got enough liquid in there where it ain't sauteed anymore, it's kind of boiling. 'Cause I've already hit it with that Cajun BBQ butter. That's the secret to all the flavor. And it soaks in and I cook 'em full. No more than about five or 10 minutes total. Bigger to shrimp the longer, you know, a couple minutes more to smaller shrimp, the less time you cook them. But so that when I'm all said and done, I got me now some Cajun buttered shrimp. I just take those shrimp out of the skillet, put 'em in a little calamari dish. Serve 'em hot there, bite 'em around me. I get me some garlic breads, I'm like some fresh French bread. And I dip it down in that Cajun buttered juices and I eat some bread dipping that butter with the shrimp. Man, we talk about some good stuff. It just makes your lips burn, make your tongue burn. I hope you ain't got chap lips. But when it's all said and done, you'll be thanking me that I gave you this recipe. I hope y'all enjoy. - Thanks, Alec. - Hey, dudes, I got that song worked out. Now you wanna hear it? - Hema no. - Oh, that's too bad 'cause here it goes. One, two, three, four, eight. - Jolene, you promise? - I said no, sir, mix a lot. This is the comedy. - Yeah. - Sorry. - Whoa, look at that thing that you do it. 36, 24, 36, yeah. - Got it, Alec. - Get two, Alec. I'm kinda gettin' into them. - You need to give it. - Oh, all right. - Ow, I'm eatin' some big. Swam. Make a spicy, spicy, spicy. Make 'em hot, I ain't know if I need some big. - You like some big. - Swam. - Not bad, Bill. - Thank you. - I need 'em slow. Yeah, this how the story goes. I went to get me some shrimp. 'Cause I was tryin' out a new recipe. - Girl, please wash your hands first. - Make pounds, and what count do you need? - Oh, let's see, yeah. Give me two, give me four. Pound making six, just to make 'em pay. Some big. - Swam. - He's gonna like this to his child. - No, we don't. - Make a spicy, spicy. Make 'em hot, I ain't know if I need some big. - You got some big. - Swam. - I like this. - Me too. - I feelin' fast, I need 'em slow. Eat 'em up before they go. Eat 'em up, eat 'em up. Eat 'em up. Eat 'em everybody next week. - Tatch our dogs from Vail's Kitchen. I believe I'm getting my grille on. - Yeah, you're gettin' somethin' on. - Well, at least I'm tryin'. - I've never seen anybody step on their own feet. - Here's a better way to do that. - Go, Alec, go, Alec, go, Alec. - Hey, he's knockin'. Now you're knockin' over some plates. - It's a scavenger sauce. - That's my good china. - That's my good china. - Oh yeah. - Poppin' the top on a big old can of crazy. It's the Jolene Roxbury variety hour. - And now, the last episode of One Life 2 News. - Cynthia, it's time for us to confess our love to your husband, Bob. - I'd love to, Edgar, but Bob and I aren't married. - Well, hurry up and get married so we can confess, so I can go on and have an affair with Gloria. - If I'm gonna marry Bob, I'll have to ditch George. - You're seeing George, that two-timer. - Why are we advancing all our various plots so fast? - Because this is our last episode. We need to wrap things up. - Oh, well, let's get started. Frank was unjustly accused and is getting out of prison. - The vinster twins have discovered they're not really twins, although they're still identical. - Harvey didn't really murder Gladys, who isn't really dead and the star witness in the case is the illegitimate daughter of the judge. - The town floozy really has a heart of gold and is becoming a nun. - Is that everything? - Tip of the iceberg, but we've run out of time. Cynthia, I've always loved you. - Well, that's awkward considering I used to be your brother. - You didn't, never for the next episode, like sad that sits in a broken hourglass. This has been one life to lose. - I'm Jolene Roxbury, I hope you guys had a good week. Hope you're having an even better weekend, even better still, a good week on the horizon next week. And if you feel like none of that's gonna happen for you, well, we hope we're taking your mind off whatever is ailing you for at least an hour. And then of course, our podcast is available on our Facebook page at Jolene Roxbury for right to hour. Our podcast is up there as well as at fntalk1065.com. So that way, if you need us, like during the middle of the week, you can just pull up one of our past shows and take a little refresher course on joy. That's what we're in the business of spreading joy and wheat killer, we'll be right back. - Hey, hey, I'm Jolene Roxbury. I hope you guys are enjoying the show. Let's take a visit to Bell's kitchen. - And now live from her kitchen, beachside on Alabama's beautiful Gulf Coast, the woman who loves to eat, but hates to cook. Actually, she doesn't know how to cook. Bell Caddoo. (audience cheers) - Hi, Dolls. Bell Caddoo here and with me today. - As always in my kitchen, the darling man with a culinary plan. Alec Naaman. - Hey, babe. - It's good to see you. - Good to be here. - I'm having some people over this weekend and I don't have a lot of time to cook much of anything, not that I really want to. But time is not my friend this weekend. You have something really simple, but really delicious. - How about some sauteed shrimp tacos? What a way to eat a taco. This show takes tacos to another level. All you got to do is start off with some canola oil, some white onions, some kosher salt, some butter, some jalapenos, some Italian parsley, and some nice corn, fresh corn tortillas or flour tortillas, either one you like. It makes a wonderful sauteed shrimp taco. It only takes three minutes. What a fast dinner. Well, what you do is you preheat a skillet or a little griddle, whatever you got. All right, just long enough to heat up your tortillas. All right, get those nice, soft flour tortillas. And then in a separate large saute pan, put it on over high heat. Add a little bit of oil, take you some chopped onions and quickly stir for two or three times. Immediately add the shrimp to it at that point and a few pinches of salt. It may be sauteed for about one to one and a half minutes until the shrimp begin to turn red. Add the butter, the chopped jalapenos, and garlic and saute for one more minute as the butter begins to melt. The garlic releases this wonderful aroma when you throw in some of those nice crunched garlic cloves. Adjust the seasoning with a little salt, if necessary, and continue to stir for about 30 seconds. The whole cooking process for the shrimp should be no longer than three minutes. Stir in the parsley, remove the pan from the heat. The shrimp should be tender. The onions and jalapenos, crisp to the bite. Working separate batches, eat them as you go. It don't matter. Sounds like a very low stress meal. And just three minutes. Talkin' 'bout a quickie. This is really a quickie. Thanks, Alec. I'm Bel Ciddo, and we'll see you next time in Bel's Kitchen. [APPLAUSE] That sounds good. I might have to make some shrimp tacos later. I might make some for John Bell and his family. Hello, my friend. Hey, they're higher there, ho there. You're as welcome as can be. And greetings. You're all here. Yes, the family is all here at the farm. Since the fourth was on a Thursday, we decided to stay through the weekend. Seems to be the trend. I see Jim Weaver's people staying as well. Yeah. How long will they be staying? Don't know. I know you'll be ready for all those weavers to clear out of here. Everybody to clear. At least my people know to stay out of your refrigerator. True. Oh, and I've been meaning to mention this. Do you know I haven't heard one cicada? After all that big whoop-de-do, I haven't heard any. I haven't heard any. Not even one little baby cicada going, beep-deep-deep. I haven't heard it either, but now-- Now that I've said that out loud, I guess we'll have a million here tonight. We will. OK, thanks for that. Good on with the show. While we can still hear ourselves talk. You guys heard it. John put the mojo on us. We will have the cicada invasion at Roxbury Farms. Coming this summer, a warm summer's evening in the south. People enjoying a pleasant conversation. Then they appear. At first, there is just a few. Then there's thousands. Millions, millions. Don't miss cicadas. Scientists are baffled. How can they get glib on these bugs? Or at least find them down. What? Cicadas. You're afraid of what? No, no, cicadas. They're too loud. I can't hear you. If you're saying it's too loud. They fly into your neighborhood. And they drown out radios. They still rain at llama. TVs, passing aircraft, car cameras. Even this is survival pilot, down the road. You can't get off my line. Why can't I fly home? Why can't you try to take on? Why will the horror ever end? Don't miss cicadas and cicadas, cicadas. Come on, baby, come on, don't miss me too. Now, believe it or not, we receive a request for this song parody we did. We receive one, I don't know, maybe a couple a week. It is a cute little song. And it's all about how every town in America has a midtown. They have a midtown and a downtown. Doesn't matter how large the city or town is. Midtown is typically a really special place. Some refer to it as the Garden District. So I guess it could be that as well. Sometimes they go together. But anyway, this is a song about being a midtown girl. Yeah, we first put together this parody back in 2010. Maybe a year or two further back than that. Yeah, it's been a minute and we kind of revamped it a little. So here we go. Oh, and you're going to have to listen to Bell sing again later. So buckle up. [MUSIC PLAYING] Midtown girl. She's busy living in her midtown world. She prunes azaleas up and down her drive. She dresses hip and speaks her midtown drive. She's not contrived. She's a midtown girl. Down, when she goes running, always feeds the squirrels. She's conscientious and her yard looks good. She picks up litter in her neighborhood. On Sunday morning, she branches, loves holding. Holding, hey, hey, hey. She's walking. She's even friendly to people that she can't stand. She's down to earth and stuff, far from all the booths and flops. She's a midtown girl. Her house is all the sweet historical pearl. Worked all day Saturday on her landscape. She'll get a friend's kid to come weed and rake. Be sure to go easy around the pavilias. They're really old. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Micks town, girl. Attends the street parties and crawfish broils. She doesn't gossip at the shampoo bowl. She keeps the secrets only midtown. Micks town, girls. Helps out at car, pulled and drives through. Latte in the hat. Latte, great, great kids. Play soccer, dance, or a marching band. She's loyal, and she is true. Shops too much when she gets blue. She's a midtown girl. Hey, can you hear about that Charlotte? Don't get married? I don't want to hear all that. Just wash my hair. Uh-huh. Well, it ain't going to last. And I know it ain't going to last. I've seen her with Billy Ray up there at the pigly wiggly, and they just prepare melons all right. I don't know of any people. Apple introduces a new iPhone for people who want to be after frugal with their purchases. It's the my phone. The phone for people not overly picky about high-tech improvements. While the iPhone 15 is made of titanium, the my phone is made of tough, durable, double-strength plywood. The my phone does almost everything an iPhone does. You can make calls. [PHONE RINGING] Hello. Hello, Charlie. Hello. Charlie, it's Bill. [INAUDIBLE] What? What? You can send texts. The my phone has a long battery life. And when they run down, just pop in another four double A's. And like any other iPhone, the my phone puts the world at your fingertips. Hey, sorry. Work it. What is the square root of nine? The my phone, only $39.99, wherever stuff is sold. Here's Apple CEO Tim Cook on this my phone to tell you about a special offer. [PHONE RINGING] And there's the money saving coupon he was telling you about. Make my phone your phone. It'll be done in a moment. Almost there. [MUSIC PLAYING] Millions of people have already unlocked the secret and are finding out that learning a new language can be fun, easy, and effective with Rosetta Stone. We've made it as easy as sitting down in front of your computer with coffee and a muffin. But what about people with no internet connection? I ain't got no internet. People who aren't able to afford DVD players or laptop computers. Can't afford none of that. 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Ain't you ever seen that show locked up abroad? They would throw your butt in jail and treat you in a kind of way. Using a natural method that teaches directly without translation. Don't you argue with me? Aqua means water. Not aqua. Aqua like Aquaman. Uh-huh. No more confusing grammar explanations. What is a Mexican word for scain? Or mind-numbing vocabulary lists to memorize. Burrito, salsa, taco, Chema Chunga. They cook garacha. That means cockroach. Millions of people have already utilized the personal instruction of Ms. Riz Rosetta Stone. I know that's right. As she can be dispatched to over 150 countries. Welcome to France. Step France, go on France. And rich your life by learning a new language. Oh, and Britain. OK, I ain't going to Britain. They don't brush their teeth over there. With Ms. Riz Rosetta Stone at the helm, the future of language learning is very bright indeed. I ain't going to know Yuka Tam Peninsula because that's why all the hurricanes come from. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. And you can believe that I ain't going to believe. [LAUGHING] It's funny. Visit our website, book your session today, and learn a new language with Ms. Riz Rosetta Stone. I know that's right. On a two in chiladas and three burritos, please. Allez! Hey, whatever you are getting yourself up to, thank you for taking us along with you. And remember to get on over to Facebook and follow our show page because that's how you'll keep up with our podcast. It's there every Saturday. Rain or shine, we'll be right back. Rocksnoey! Rocksnoey! My stress level's been a little bit high throughout the entire show because Jim Weaver has disappeared. He has left his great nephew with the rest of us to entertain him. So I took him back to the bunk house. Earl T, I think he had the slip and slide thing that he put together. Oh, wait. He's calling me. What is it, Earl? Hey, Jolene. You've got to come over here to help me with a little dude. He wants something to drink, and now he's got nothing. I mean, that he can drink. Let me speak with the child. Oh, I can't put you on speaker. I hate being put on speaker. Honey, what do you want to drink? How about Dr. Pepper? You got Dr. Pepper? I've got some in my refrigerator. Yeah. This is sugar-free. Look, Earl, you've got to deal with this. Take him to the store. Let him pick something out. Look, little dude, Aunt Row Row is going to come and get you. No, I'm not. He's got some Dr. Pepper over there in her refrigerator. No, he doesn't want what I have. You have to take care of this. Do something. You've got to come help me, Jolene. I'm not really good with kids. Not doing it. Good. Whoa. Good luck with all that. Handle it. Oh, hey, little dude. Where's the slip and slide? We've got a slip and slide. It's over here behind the jumpy castle. That's mine, by the way. I leave it up all year. I love those things, man. Boy, boy, boy, you can go up and down and get all dizzy and whoa. It's almost as good as weed. You better go over to the slip and slide now. Here's your slip and slide. These are tarps. Tarps. Tarps. OK, well, actually, little dude, it's several, you know, like kind of hooked together there. See, we've got like nine or 10 of them all hooked together. We're just going off there, yeah. But it is a slip and slide, man. This ain't a slip and slide. I mean, it's not a brand name slip and slide. It's more of a skip and scared me. They're a fallen flip. But, you know, it gets the job done. These are tarps. You cover up stuff with these. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll be covering up stuff with them later. I've got a lot of stuff. I've got to cover so nobody can see them. What do we have to eat? Got any talkies? Well, that's a talkie. You mean like a movie with words? Those have been around a long time, little dude. They're chips, but they're like Cheetos. Oh, oh, talkies, they're like Go Fish. Talkies? Like, Cheez-its. How about some funions with spray cheese on them? Make a finger that's nice and gnarly orange. You know, my Aunt Belle could go. And Adeline, we were talking about the heat and how challenging it has been for us so far this summer. And it's certainly going to last for a while. We all know that. We're usually here in this part of the country. We are sweating in our Halloween costumes. But that's OK. I do not want to shovel snow, so I'll deal with it. But we decided to have a little fun earlier. And the three of us were in the studio. And Belle was putting together a song about the heat and how nothing really helped alleviate any of her symptoms of said heat. So here's what happened during that session. I stay inside because I've learned I don't tan. All I do is burn. I stay soaked. How come? Because I sweat. Ooh. In this 105 heat index. It's a lot higher than that. And Gold Bond doesn't help me. And I ain't going to lie. I feel so unfresh, and I've decided I can take 14 showers. You secrets spray by the can. And I'll smell good for an hour. It's not long at all. That's what I don't understand. I'm tired of 90s and 100s. Bring on the pumpkin brands. Aren't y'all ready for sweaters? Because I am ready for sweaters. I'm ready for sweaters baby. Ready for sweaters. I'm ready for sweaters baby. I heard me right. Sweaters? That's what I said. OK. I'm in November in my hand. I had explains or kidding. Pumpkin spice and caramel. I love those autumnish candles smell. I do like those. I like cranberries. Because Gold Bond doesn't help me. And I ain't going to lie. I feel so unfresh, and I've decided I can take 14 showers. What is this water bill? You secret spray by the can. I'll only smell good for an hour. Nothing works. That's what I don't understand. I'm tired of 90s and 100s. Bring on the pumpkin brands. Aren't y'all ready for sweaters? I hate to ruin it for you, but we're going to have to wait a while. Aren't y'all ready for sweaters? Yes. What is at the door? I am. It's true, Jolene. And I've brought in someone who can be completely ejected. My darling, Leanna, from FM Talk 1065. And she's brought along a few of her own sweaters. We're going to hang them up in your studio. Let's put this pretty card again right here. OK. Now, step back. Are you feeling cooler? Wow. You feeling that temperature change? Use your imagination. Well, Leanna's got real work to do. Don't bother her, and it's embarrassing when you do something like put on a blizzard sound effect. That's not going to make anybody feel cooler. You're not buying into any of this, are you, Leanna? Just looking at a sweater makes me feel cooler. Wait, what? How about this turtleneck? Sure, bring them all in. Jolene thinks I'm crazy. I don't care what Jolene says. You're not crazy at all. This actually works. Seriously. Well, she's in the shower again. Maybe I'll give it another go. Online, would you get some more sweaters out of the winter closet? Where are you saying, Jolene? I think you're wasting water. And enabling a very unbalanced person up there. Promise me you'll turn the water off now. Fine, fine. I wonder why the bill kept creeping higher and higher and higher. I wasn't that bad. You don't pay the water bill for your bungalow. That's why. It wasn't that high. I just argue. Turn the shower off. And you made us all butcher a Miley Cyrus song. That's impossible. [MUSIC PLAYING] We have run out of time. Yes, boy, that went fast. Hmm. I hope you guys have a wonderful week coming up. And you know, we're going to be right here. Right here for you when you come back. So meet us right back here next week. Remember to download the FM Talk 106.5 app. That's how you can keep up with all your favorite shows. The podcasts are all loaded up there. FM Talk has over 50 hours of local programming. Also, scoot on over to our Facebook page. The Jolene Roxbury variety hour. And follow us. Our podcast is up every Saturday like clockwork. Remember to laugh a little bit more because laughter releases what in dolphins. There they are. We'll see you soon. Join us next time for more Madcap Adventures on the Jolene Roxbury variety hour. I'm Mr. announcer. (dramatic music)