Big Blend Radio

The Life and Work of a Transformational Life Coach

This episode of Big Blend Radio's SOUL DIVING SUNDAY Show with Shelley Whizin focuses on the work she does as a transformational life coach. You can check out the Q&A with her as well as the new seasonal Big Blend "Soul Diving" digital publication featuring her past articles and podcasts here: https://online.fliphtml5.com/yhwzg/ylqx/#p=1

SHELLEY WHIZIN is the founder and CEO of the Soul Diving Institute™ and author of "What Do You Bring to the Table? A Savory, Sensory and Inspirational Guide to Living a Yummy Delicious Life." Keep up with Shelley here: https://www.shelleywhizin.com/

Tune in to Big Blend Radio's "Soul Diving Sunday with Shelley" show every first Sunday here: http://tinyurl.com/2bjbectk

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duration:: 59m
Broadcast on:: 05 Jan 2025
Audio Format:: other

Welcome to Big Blend Radio's Soul Diving Sunday Show featuring transformational life coach Jellie Wisen and your hosts Lisa and Nancy. Welcome everybody and happy 2025. Can you imagine that 2025? I remember Y2K and at Y2K 2000 we thought the world was going to go back to hieroglyphics and the Rosetta Stone. How are we going to communicate? Computers were in our lives at that time. The beginning of cell phone technology. What were we going to do? And I thought, hey, I'll go out on the farm and live out in the bush. That's all right with me. And then nothing happened. But we all had to think about change and transformation. So as you know, Jellie Wisen transformational life coach and also author is here on Big Blend radio every first Sunday. And we're going to talk about her world as being a transformational life coach. Now she has been on our show for a number of years. But the last two years we've been doing her podcast channel Soul Diving Sunday with Shelly. And we've got special publications coming out starting today. So look in the episode notes for the link where every season or so we put out a digital magazine of her articles and past interviews. So you can catch up with her, especially if you've not heard the podcast before. So welcome back, Shelly. We've got a whole new year ahead of us new projects. Doesn't it feel good? Yeah, it's exciting. There's really new possibilities. I love that. Well, change is scary. Like Y2K freaked people out, but it made people think of other things and what was important to them. So is that what transformation is about is finding what's important? Absolutely. I mean, whose life are we living anyway? Are we living the idea of somebody else's idea of the way we need to live our life? Or are we living our life? It makes up a little bit. We kind of transpose certain beliefs of we start behaving like we should, which you know, is my least favorite. I said that word on a podcast the other day and I went, Oh, did you catch yourself? I did. And I'm like, Oh, Shelly would be upset with me right now. Well, not upset, but I would just be alleging. I would be alerted. I would be, you know, my alarms would go off it. Here's what happens to me. It's very interesting. You know, we get alert. We are allergic to certain things. Some of us. I'm allergic to wool. I can touch my hand, but I can't put it against my skin. I just start breaking out and itching and, you know, I'm allergic to the word that to the frequency of the word should. And what happens when I hear it, no matter who says it, no matter when, it's like static. It's something that goes in my energy field. It's a negative. It's a it's a yeah, it's a the frequency of it resonates negativity. And so I'm alarmed. I get alarmed when I hear that word. And sometimes I do my best not to be obnoxious about it. But I almost can't help myself. It's like some fragrances just drive me nuts. I can't even be around like that. You know, well, I think, you know, it's getting, you know, getting to know who you are and what you are. And the shoulda coulda's are annoying. And it's mean. And I know I've done it a lot and do it. And then now I'm like, ooh. And I've said it. And I think I even said it to Nancy. Oh, everybody was quiet and realizing him. Well, yeah, see, but it is. It's a habit. And it's like, okay, you know, should coulda. And transformation should be joyous. Right? But it's a rock. What did you say? Oh, that's so funny. What you just said, it should be formation should be. See, I just did it. Is that even going together? Could be. Could be. If we take the shit out of it. Yeah, we don't want to shoot all over ourselves. No, we should all over ourselves or anybody else. It feels yucky. It just is icky. It's not, it's not uplifting. It's not, you know, enlightening. It's not fun. It's, it's not joyous. It's, yeah, it's, it's holding. It is. We just went through a very interesting experience that I won't get into. And it wasn't, the experience wasn't as promised. And it was a very negative experience. And this is where the should have came, you know, came out. And it was, should have been this way. Should have, that should have, should have, could have, because now we're in anger mode and upset mode. And, and, and, and we have every right to be. It was a very negative, negative situation. And that's where the shit is. And then I thought, well, how do you justify the shit is? Okay, so here, here's something that I'm getting right now with what you just shared with me. Was there any indication or a red flag at some point before? Oh, of course. Oh, yes. I'm already answering your yes. Now. Oh, are my pointing my finger back at me now? Because we, the anger comes from us not honoring ourselves. And, and acknowledging the red flag and saying, you know what, this doesn't feel good to me. This doesn't feel good to me right now. So either we got to change what we're doing in the way that we're doing it. Or I can't do it. See, when you go against your first instinct, you always lose. Well, that's a good belief too, because it may not be the first instinct, but it may be an instinct, the gut, the gut thing, when it's really telling you when it's going, hello, hello, don't do this. And you go, uh, and it'll be our shit has come after that. Yeah. So the anger is, yes, they manifested it in the outside to let you see it to your angry at the it. And they played it out because you didn't honor yourself. So either you did it out of guilt, you should have, you know, you think you thought you should do it. Oh, that's a set up. You see, shoot is a set up word. I know. I don't want to be set up to shoot us. And that's right. And we do it. Basically, we're giving ourselves diarrhea. Oh, not good. No, I don't want it. Because if you, if you have too many shit as you can get the itches full on. Face it. It feels bad. It does. So is that so a transfer as a transformation coach and someone comes in, I should have done this. I could have done that. I didn't, but I did. And then yang, yang, yang, yang. And as soon as you say this, I'm already my head's going down as with we talk, I'm already looking green everybody. I'm in the festive spirit here because we are recording this around the holidays. Shelly's perfectly festive and red. And I'm green, but I'm not going to say I should have done this or that because it's just what it is. When someone comes to you as a transformational life coach, a lot of times it's going to be at that point of how many times are you like, are people kind of attacking themselves all the time? Yeah, that's my new shot consciously. Right. Unconsciously, subconsciously. Because we buy into this, this mass consciousness, this mass conditioning. And we buy into it, Don Miguel calls it domestication. We get domesticated as children to weigh the mass consciousness thinks everything should be an overall big overriding should, an umbrella should, and everything that fits under that should is acceptable. Any outside of that should is not. What is connected to a should is judgment. And so when we're sitting in judgment of ourself or anybody else negatively with anger, that there's a projection there. There's not an owning of our responsibility of choosing to do something that maybe we didn't really want to do, but we thought we should do it. So we did it. But then we can say, well, I shouldn't have done it. I mean, are you there when we were there? I am always there. You were. You would have told run girls run. No, the fall me next time before you decide anything. Well, if I called you, I should have called you. Ha ha, just kidding. Now, if I if I did, you would have been laughing. I probably would have laughed. You'll giggle. But but you know what this this is the interesting thing. It's about how society has set up their rules. I wasn't there. Like I have a friend, he said, you know, this is the I'm not getting political, but you know, these are the the the American, you know, rules and rights. And this is what was written down in the Congress congressional laws and all that she goes, Oh, a bench, a bunch of old men got together and wrote the rules for all of us. I don't remember women being part of that conversation. Those are their rules, not mine. And and so she was just like, I don't care. I don't care because it's not my rules. And so and I think that's where and I know you love music and the arts and have been involved in it. You're a writer. You're creative. You know, I think that's where the creative arts comes part of transformation and change. And I think the arts help us in that too. The arts go against the the straight lines. The arts what the arts is able to do is it bypasses the critical mind. So through music, through plays, through stories, it's not about us. So we think so we can it bypasses the critical mind. And when they're talking about either improving ourselves or, you know, fucking up or whatever the case may be, then we we kind of dismiss it. Dismiss it instead of owning it, instead of saying, Hmm, okay. I may not believe this. And I may believe this. It allows you to go inside to see what is it that you believe about whatever it is your experience. Yeah, this is fun. So you get to do this. This is who calls you for help. Like who says, I need a transformational life coach. Do people know it? Let's start with that. What is a transformational life coach? What do you do? She talks to people and says, stop saying shit. She listens. I know you listen. I did. I there are several things that I do. One is I not only listen, but I hear something beneath the words. I hear something that that person soul and maybe that's what it is channeling someone's heart and soul and being able to articulate possibly what may be going on in there that they didn't think about a different perspective, offering a different lens, you know, all the glasses that I have, the different kinds of glasses, offering a different lens from which to see so that maybe you can look at the same situation, like whatever situation you were in, whatever that was, I don't know. And it doesn't really matter what the story is. You see, what matters is, I mean, I had a client who went away with a friend who she didn't really want to go with, but she felt guilty about not spending time with her or whatever, whatever. So she said, okay, let's go. They had the worst time because when we're motivated by guilt, the guilt coming from love, it's not coming from true genuine interest and desire. If you go manipulation and victimizing and accepting that in a way, you'd call it that, sure. But we're doing it to ourself. We're the victim and we're also the perpetrator. So what I get to do is I get to point those kinds of things out to people, gently say, well, I love being able, and this is what I'm honored, I love being able to pierce the ego with my heart. Oh, I love that so much. Because it's a way of opening ourselves. If someone does it for me, for me, not to me, then I get to take a look at myself through a different lens and a different light and learn something about myself that maybe needed to be healed, needed to be polished, needed to be softened, needed to have a different way of doing that experience so that we can have a different way of experience are being human. And there's all mistakes are lessons or not, you shouldn't feel good. Now, isn't that funny? How many times we say it and we don't even say it more than I've ever said it now, like now it's like, if you don't think of a brown cow, all you're going to think about is a brown cow. You know, when you see a brown cow, you get to have an extra drink in Scotland. If you're in a bar, they buy you a free drink. Oh, that's funny. I know, but I'm not going to get a free drink from saying the SH word. So, but, you know, mistakes and learning these truths at times can be very difficult. And, and that's part of that ego side that's the heart side that you feel disappointed in yourself. When maybe it's like, Hey, I learned this, let's move on. You don't have to live in the past of it. You can move on. And the quicker you do it, the easier in my experience. Yeah. And the quicker you do it, the quicker you do it. Yeah. So what led you to become a transformational life coach? And it's different than a life coach. You're helping people transform. Yes. Yes. So we get to be butterflies. Whatever you want to be, you get. I like butterflies. I like that. And you become a butterfly. Okay. And that's a great analogy, because when we transform from a caterpillar to a butterfly, a whoever said it didn't hurt to lose all those legs, lose a whole entire body and shed it. We've been walking on those little feet for a long time. And then to go inside a, you know, chrysalis and and morph, morph into a whole another being. Let me talk about transformation, right? And who said it's not painful? And and who said that, that we didn't have to struggle? I mean, if a butterfly didn't struggle to get out of the chrysalis, it would die. And it they've, they've had experiments where, you know, some like a kid will say, you know, I want let me help it, right? So let me cut a hole in the chrysalis so it can come out. Look, it's trying to come out. It's trying to come out. And the butterfly will die, because the struggle is what pushes the fluid in the wings, pushes the fluid in the wings, so that then you have fluid to fly. Otherwise, it wouldn't be able to, it would be blocked. Yeah, for me, maybe I'm a fluid maker or I'm a, I love, I love, I've been honored to pierce the ego with the heart for many clients that are extremely vulnerable. I had a client, a friend who had Parkinson's, and he could, he was an acting teacher. I mean, amazing acting teacher, and he could no longer articulate. Oh, Parkinson's. And he used to be big energy, walking over, yeah, take up all the space and everybody would know he was there and had a loud voice and, you know, yeah, absolutely. Exactly. Yeah. And then he couldn't articulate. And so one, I mean, I could understand him is why I could understand they've been married 44 years. And he, this is an example of piercing the ego with my heart. And he came in to our coaching session and he said, I'm, my students don't appreciate me. Now, all this time, because he was getting Parkinson's, it was getting worse and worse, he'd had it for many years, his wife filled the class with people who came for free. So he could have a class. Because when you're a teacher, and you're a student, you're paying for a class, what the feedback you want, the professionalism, you want all that. And so, and so he said, my students don't appreciate me very indignantly. And I said, well, let me ask you a question. Do you appreciate them? And he was like, what do you mean? I'm the king, you know, I mean, I'm the one there to look up to me. I'm the, you know, and I said, gene, your ability to speak is not the same as maybe your mind thinks it is. So mind, you're giving feedback, saying, okay, I could feel the moment you were real blah, blah, blah, after they do a scene and you're giving them, you know, feedback on their scene. But what's coming out is, and with him and that's what's coming out of your mouth. Yeah, nobody can understand you. And it makes it very challenging. So your wife filled the class so that you could have a class. Because as a professional, students expect a certain amount of professionalism to be taught. And as much as they love you, you know, if they don't understand what you're saying, what's the point? And Tony's going to come up. And and she's been your protege for 44 years. And now she's going to become the master. And she will be the money making venture in this family. Because you will be able to roll. Because this condition called Parkinson's is making your brain think one thing in your body, do another. Hmm, that's hard. And and I said, now it's time to bring her up to the front of the room next to you. So she can interpret what it is that you're saying to the students. Children or you live with somebody, you know, what they're saying, you can, you know, toddler, you know what the toddler wants, you know, what else does, but you do. And now it's time for her to step into her master to you. And that's a different kind of teamwork, too. Totally. And a step back, but a different step forward. And that's always the rocky road, right? Is that step forward that might not feel like a step forward at that time, we feel like a backward step, but it's a forward. Yeah. Well, that's that too. That's why there really are no shoulds. Because they're almost a bunch of choices that we make. And every road has got a little curve. Every road has a curve somewhere. You know, how many times is your GPS a slight right? And it's really a hair printer. Sometimes mine lies to me. I'm not going that way. I argue. No, I'm not. I do that. I'll go the opposite just to make her mad. And she if now if your GPS says, you should have turned left. You're going to get mad. Do you remember this? Oh, my, she's got the dude because I was just thinking of your GPS statements. Yeah, yeah, he created. This is Mr. Wonderful. Oh, we can't hear him. Oh, and for those listening, she's got a little man in her hands. Mr. Wonderful says these statements that you've always wanted to hear from a man. And it's just daracal. What he just said that you didn't hear was, oh, thank you for giving me the directions. I really needed to know how to get there. Yes, I don't get out of the car and get direct. I was thinking the same thing, a dog. Exactly. Yes, directions. I love that. So for you, you've been good at this for so many years, right? But you've also studied a lot. I want people to understand that part of being a transformational life coach. And like one day you wake up and go, I'm a coach. Tell everybody a little bit about your background in studies because you've studied under all kinds, like under so many masters, madam, not mad. I should not have said that. I'm just joking. But well, there's the master and the master of this. But under so many different experts, you learn from and keep educating. Every other day you're like, oh, I went here to this course. I went to this class. And so you're always learning, which I think is really important that if you're going to be coached by someone and have someone to help you muddle through something, that they're still learning. Because if they're not still learning, how are you going to still learn? Right. That's right. And then what kind of role model are you anyway? It's like, oh, I learned this back in the 70s. It doesn't matter. Nothing's changed. Right. Right. Or I haven't changed. But yeah. Well, there's so much to learn. And you go and just go into a library and look how many books there are in a library. You know, I'm going to go on Amazon. There are billions and millions and you know, books and information and perspectives. That's what it is. It's a bunch of different perspectives. And I like to expose myself to different perspectives to see life. And one of the things I'm grateful for is being a deaf midwife and an end of life trainer. Because that perspective gives me, I mean, it gives me the last breath perspective. What do we want to feel in our last breath? And then my coaching clients, if they're couples, I asked them, I want you A to imagine that one of you is in the bed dying. And this is their last breath. And they're arguing and bickering. Is this the way you want to go out? Because you never know. Yeah, breath is going to be the last breath. We just don't know that's a mystery. Oh, I know you could be swearing at someone. And that's it. You just pulled that pipe too much. You've got the anger pipes, and that could be the last thing you say. Listen, I pulled my neck out C5 and C6 yelling at my husband. I see that. And then I felt something snap in my neck. And I, I herniated to this in my neck. And was in the most excruciating pain I'd ever been in before. So yeah, so that, you know, that's kind of interesting how things can manifest physically. A friend who's a massage therapist, and she was on a show years ago talking about there's guys with like suddenly they're they're butt and they're like their leg, the top of their leg, like their hip area hurts. And she goes, turn around and they'll have their big wallet. And they're sitting on their wallet all the time. So their body's out of alignment. And you know, they have this big wallet of cash kind of look at me and my cash. My I got a big wad, you know. Anyway, that's what she'll have to just go simply. It's what you're carrying around in your butt that's doing it. Isn't that kind of the same thing we carry this stuff around and wonder why when we're actually physically doing it sometimes? Right. Well, when your your shoulders hurt or, you know, your upper back hurts. I mean, we can look at those analogies. It's shouldering the pain. What are we shouldering? What are we carrying? Is it ancestral? Is it from before? Or, you know, we stand on the shoulders of those who come before us. So what are we standing on? And how are we willing? How much are we willing to break those ancestral generational habits and patterns? Because they're in the DNA. And if we don't break them, they'll be in our DNA. And then they go down to the next DNA and keep getting passed on. So I think one of the things for me in in being a transformational transformational life coach, it's a very interesting way of saying something. I mean, you could probably have enough to say life coach, because life coaches really giving people a focus in the present. It's not so much psychologizing, you know, psychologist, psychologist, they go back in the past and they look at what you did and why and blah, blah, blah. And then we have to read, dredge all of that all over again and relive it. Right. Right. Right. So there are, there are people who need that way. You know, because they need to, they need to catch, they need to whine, they need to cry about it, they need to breathe and mourn. Some some stuff is so serious that it really needs that. I mean, there are real serious. But for me personally, I just don't want to see it anymore. And the difference between a therapist or psychologist is that they mostly go back into the past to heal stuff. And a coach works with the present, touches the past, works with the present to reframe how you look at something so that you can do it differently now, so that it can come from a different perspective than what you carried before. And that's what I love to, I love to offer different perspectives from which to see, so that you can then handle whatever situation is coming up in a different way. You know, it's kind of like being in a, in a dark room, like maybe you go to a restaurant, right? You go to a restaurant and you can see what's on your plate, your table, you see that little bit of light. But you don't see everything that's going on, maybe not all the art, maybe the light is dimmed, right? See, so it's kind of like tunnel vision as humans. We get this, this is what I'm doing. Society told me to do this. This is what I'm supposed to be in. I hate my 95, but I'm doing it. I mean that, and we even do this as a hand gesture is humans. But I think from what you do, you kind of go, hey, turn that light switch on over there and see what happens. Turn that, open that door. If you looked at that, you know what I mean, you're not telling people what to do. Like that's where the shit is, right? You don't tell people what to do. It's just kind of like here, you know, open that box on the left. It's kind of like a game show. It's a suggestion. It's like, I like to suggest different ways of seeing looking and doing, because I don't say you need to do this, you need to do that, because who am I to say what somebody else needs? Whatever they need is their own soul's divine direction. But what I can do is offer to look at something a certain way. How about looking at it from this perspective, you know, looking at it from a different way so that they can see it through different eyes. I also during the time when my when my friend Jean and client said to me about the whole appreciation thing, I gave him the analogy of the Jewish mystical way that the earth, that the universe was created. And that's when God stepped back to make room for creation. And I gave him that analogy. It's called Singtum. It's a story. It's a beautiful story. And he got it. And then the next class, he did it. Tony came up, sat right next to him. And whatever he said, she interpreted. And it was the most beautiful class. And I sat in, I audited, I was so proud of him. I was so happy for him. Because then he got a satisfying experience and not a frustrating experience of thinking that his students don't appreciate him. You know, when he brings appreciation to the students of even being there, when he is impaired, when he's not able to articulate, and they're still there, that's the appreciation. So it was appreciation for three parties. And fourth with you, too. You know, nice. That's, that's a beautiful thing. How did you know when you wanted to go into that as a main part of your life? I think I was born that way. You sound like Lady Gaga. And I didn't realize what it was called, but I was always an empath. I always fenced and felt things and saw things and saw that love can be expressed and kindness can be expressed. And I would share that with my mom. And she just hadn't didn't want to have anything to do with it because she wanted to raise her children the way she wanted. And she was, she was not a happy woman. She was a unhappy woman. And because she was an unhappy woman, it spilled over into the way in which we were raised. A lot of frenetic energy, a lot of yelling, screaming, hitting, crying, you know, whining, drama, sadness, you know, depression, everybody in my family was depressed, including my dad and my mom. And my mom, her, her way she that expressed it was through rage and anger and hitting and screaming and yelling. And my dad was humor. That's what I'm taking the humor from. My dad's depression was covered by humor, sarcastic and otherwise, and then inappropriate stuff. But isn't but doesn't, that's what I'm saying, things can become physically manifest from internal stuff. Like we were talking about, you know, shoulders, all of that, like, and they can manifest and get deeper and deeper into something that that person maybe never ever wanted or thought of doing or being. It just is what manifests over time. And that's when things have gone maybe a little too far, you know, and could have been, you know, if someone had sat down and showed a different, you know, lens, you know, yeah, yeah. So it was, um, I didn't say should have. You see, so great when we become aware of those words that really passed down. I mean, they, they take us down. That's all there is to it. They're not, they don't, I look at that particular word as a mosquito, it has no positive. There's no positive. There's nothing positive about it. Not at all. I dissected it. Believe me, I've looked at it. I've, I've really weighed in. She wants to cut it up. I just, I just say, pluck it out of your language remove it and don't use it anymore. Why can't it be as simple as that that we don't use certain words that are detrimental to ourselves and others? Yeah. Well, you know, the thing too, I mean, we've talked a lot about this. There's the should ofs and all of that. And then really having control of your own life. At the end of the day, it's, it's about how you lead yourself. So it is leadership, right? That you're helping people with it's about self leadership, understanding yourself. But joy, you talk about joy a lot. And the yummy delicious got to bring that up. But the joy is, I think people at times can get really, really stressed and forget those little moments of joy that joy and hope go a long way. And no matter how small doesn't have to be something grandiose, right? It could be little bits and little bits that will get you through a mile or two versus trying to hope for some big huge things sometimes. And sometimes a big huge things happen. You know, ask Mr. Wonderful. I want to see what else he's going to say. I found it in one of my bags with all my funny glasses was he was, I think I got him in the 80s or something 90s. I'm not sure. His batteries are still going. So he's pretty wonderful. He just said, here, you take the remote. As long as I'm with you, I don't care what we watch. No, well, there you go. Hey, you got the perfect man right there. You do. But yeah, moving forward, it is, you know, joy, how much, how important is that to you? Oh my God. Okay, joy is such another loaded word. It's a beautiful, beautiful word. And I, I have seen in my experience that so many of us do not. And I repeat, do not give ourselves permission to enjoy our lives, to enjoy what we're doing, to enjoy the experience, to enjoy being human, to just enjoy the journey, enjoy, be in joy. And, and joy to me is a, and maybe not to everybody else, but joy to me is a deep sense of wellbeing. It's a sense that, oh, you know, you can just read everything is good, everything is okay. And look at, I feel joyful. I see three pens here. I mean, it doesn't matter what you're doing, then you can bring that sense of joy into your everyday, every moment life. Again, it goes back to we don't know when our last breath is going to be. So if we're not joyful now, and we're waiting until whatever, then, or whatever to happen in order to be happy or joyful, we may never be happier, joyful, because we're always waiting for it's that when X, then why? Yeah, it's like people do that with money, too. Like, when I hit this amount, then I'll be happy. Well, you could hit that amount and, you know, be in the hospital or something tragic, you know, yeah, you know, today is a very cold day where we are. And I had to run out to the store, come back, and it's freezing cold, and I didn't take my jacket because like, you know, I could have, but I chose not to, because I forgot about it, and I raced out of the house. So anyway, coming back home, I heard all these birds just chirping, chirping, brought some things in, went back out to the car, and I'm going, I'm like, I want to be like all huddled and just go back to bed. It's cold. I just want to be all snuggly, you know, and I'm like, it's a dismal, dark, gray, cold winter day. Winter is here, y'all. And these birds are out chirp, chirp, chirp, beep, beep, beep, blah, t-t-t-t, I'm like, they're happy. Listen to me. I was like, wow, you know, how are you doing that when you're cold? I know it's cold. And that to me, right there, that little slight moment reminded me of that exact, that moment of, oh, yeah, be happy. Yeah, anything. Yeah, I, when I was always make me happy. Words do, oh, that's sweet. Yeah, this, well, what you're saying, it's the simple thing. So you hear the sound of a bird chirping, and it makes you happy for no reason, because it's just a bird chirping. It's beautiful. And it's beautiful. And it's beautiful. And so we make meaning out of whatever we want to make meaning out of. And when we look at it from that perspective, right, then it's a beautiful thing, and it makes you feel happy inside. Got it. And you heard the birds chirping, and you were cold, and then you thought, oh, God, I wish they'd shut up already, because they're so annoying, then you wouldn't be happy. So with that sucks. Exactly. So it really depends on what perspective you're bringing into the situation. I was just curious. I mean, how are they being all chirping when it's so cold? Like, how are you doing that? You know, it was almost like they were they were almost louder than normal. Like that, that, that was, you know, like, I'm cold. I'm cold, but this wasn't like this yesterday, you know, it wasn't like that yesterday. Well, no, it's, you know, it's interesting, because that's the point. It's like, you can take a really cold day and make it great, or not. And that's kind of what I thought. I was like, well, these birds are not letting the cold get in their way of their little, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, you know, thing. All right, I know we make all kinds of sounds on this show. Wow. So joy is a big, what makes you say, oh, that gives me joy. When I hit, well, Mr. Wonderful. Humor, humor gives me, you know, just looking at something that may could be so seriously looking at myself that could be taking myself so seriously and liking myself up. I think that brings me joy. When somebody says to me, Oh my God, I never looked at it that way. And they changed their whole way of being because of that one shift in perspective. Oh, that brings me so much joy. I can't even tell you. I'm like, No, that's cool. That's awesome. No, that's awesome. No way. I think it is. You know, when you see people thrive and smile, you can't beat that. You know, when they're excited. So that is a transformational life coach. You got to like that. Yeah, it's so deeply gratifying to myself. What about when you cook? Oh, someone enjoys your food? It comes out yummy, delicious, which most of like, although I have to admit, I made some cookies last night and I burned some of them, half of them I burned. I made latkes. And then I put interesting things on them. And then I made latkes into scrambled eggs stuff. Anyway, actually it was really good. I bet it was. But latkes in anything. You can make latkes out of latkes. Yeah, I got more potatoes today. So I'm happy. Oh, very nice. More latkes in the future. Well, you know, the joy part, I think we're supposed to have joy here on earth. Do you think that? When we're born, I mean, we are as an innocent, when we look at human life, we are as innocent as we can be. And there's, we're born with the possibility of having joy. We're born, we're wired for joy. Also wired for impending danger, which gets in the way of joy and also helps us to survive. So, we're wired for both. It's our innate nature. It's our birthright to feel joy. And for some, and in our conditioning, the way we talked about our domestication, we grow up feeling like we are not worthy of joy, or we don't deserve to be joyful, especially when so many people suffer in this world, and are not joyful, and are poor, and are this, and are that, what gives me the right to be joyful? Who am I? What makes me so special? That's guilt. You're so special. Yeah, it's like survivor of guilt. Yeah. Well, this is interesting too, when you talk about the domestication of humans, right, because we were wild cave people and all of that. And I was talking about this with a friend the other day, and I'm like, oh, you know, things have been passed down in generations, some good, and some not so, right, that were painful or abusive or limiting beliefs, right? And that was a product of their time. And it is not necessarily a part of our time. If you look at the younger generation now, they're not, like, when I was a teenager versus teenagers now, it's kind of night and day difference of the shenanigans we got up to versus the shenanigans now, and like musicians are drinking wheatgrass smoothies before they go on stage back in the day, they were doing shots and drugs and, you know, what they do in hotel rooms are completely different things. But, and yes, we all know there's also the big stars who do all kinds of really terrible things, you know, that are up in the news and that. But on the whole, it seems that generally, generationally, we are changing. So our actual species is shifting. And so sometimes I feel like a lot of the strife and anger and the friction comes from the shift of change in generations. As one may progress this way in the old ones, like, I want to stick back here, yet the rest is going here. And I think when you have, like, what you do as a transformational life coach, you can go and do what you want to do, like, what's going to make you happy? And progression is you can't stop progression, really. It happens if you look at civilization, we are changing. And so I kind of find that interesting. What do you think as a life coach? Do you think you're in a way part of generational change when someone shifts now and maybe that affects somebody else in a positive way? And then that ripple effect happens? Well, definitely 100%. I mean, the Indians were, they had a lot of foresight. I mean, they instilled certain policies and procedures and philosophies into their culture thinking a thousand years ahead. I mean, they have a thousand year thinking. And we don't even have five, two years. I mean, you know, long goal is like, what are you going to do five years to now? Like five years. I don't want that. I mean, you know, it's a way of looking at life. And yes, what you're saying is right, because when you are planting a seed of some kind, and you're not conscious of the seed that you're planting, you're just throwing crap out, right? And pollinating whatever it is, they're going to grow into whatever they're going to be. But when you're intentional in seeding, when you put out the seeds that you want to put out intentionally, then you're bound to change the, it's even the algorithm want to use that kind of language changes. Because like, I vowed that I was going to stop that generational abuse. I was going to be the end, the end door. There was no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it stopped and ended with me. It's a new day, need us a new generation. And this is a an example of what you're talking about, because I vowed I would never hit my daughter. I vowed I would never have her afraid of me. Like I was afraid of my mother. I vowed that. And I never hit my daughter. And she vowed the same. She never hits her children. It's already broken that generational chain of abuse stopped. So we can be intentional. We can be conscious. I love the whole idea of learning about, it's like a spiritual Sherlock Holmes, learning about the human spiritual dynamic and how those two energies play with each other and interact with each other. And in fact, I'm doing a, is this time, what when is, go ahead. When is this airing? January 5th. January 5th. Okay. Oh, January 5th. Okay. Well, January 18th, right? I'm doing a, an experience. I'm giving people a New Year's experience. And it's called falling in love with my soul. It's two hours on January 18th. So I'm excited about it. It came through me. And I think I love the other thing I love is giving people extraordinary experiences. I love that. I love holding the space for that. I love witnessing it. I love that. So that's a transformation moment. So everyone, Shelly Wisen.com for that. And, you know, what's in our first Shelly Wisen booklet coming out digital booklet that you can get link in the episode notes and also go to Shelly Wisen.com and sign up for a newsletter. You'll get it that way. It's a seasonal booklet that has her articles and interviews from the four and a way of, you know, keeping the wisdom from the wisdom, you know, Shelly Wisen's wisdom. You know, we have a Q and A with you answering the 10 questions, which we've touched on a little bit today. But one of the questions we asked you was, who would you bring to dinner three people? So Maya, Maya Angelos, one of them. Yeah. Maya Angelos, she was such a regal. I look at her as such a regal woman, how she articulated and carried herself and how she just loved life and how she expressed herself and her wisdom and her soul through her poetry that was strong. Whoa. It's just fluid and just felt like every word was a song. Every thought was a notion. Every amazing. And to do it through poetry, you know, to capture the essence, to really give that flavor. So I would like to have lunch with her dinner with her. She's a life force. I would call her a life force. Yes. Yeah. And then Einstein. Well, Einstein, I use Einstein's clothes all the time, because Einstein to me was an explorer. He was an adventure. He was so inquisitive. He it was like he was the first Star Trek person to go out to under in space and just look out at the at the abstract and make some kind of sense out of it. You know, yeah. And and yes, people did that before him. But the quotes that he said, you know, energy can never die can never be destroyed. It can only change form. I mean, that sticks with me those kinds of, I think that's one of my favorites too. Oh, yeah. And and you can live life as if everything is a miracle or as if nothing is a miracle. Yeah, he believed you could make mistakes. And that was your next lesson to get towards the big goal. He was like, you could make a thousand mistakes. They're not, they're not a mistake. Right. And family needs his success with him. Yeah. Yeah. Even that word is starting to mistake is another word that's starting to rub me the wrong way. Right. Because I that's why I say I got lessons lessons. Yeah. And they're that we make and things that we learn from those choices, you know, I don't know, you might have to write a new dictionary. Yeah. Oh, I think in the back, there's a glossary of terms. I don't know which which terms I put in there. But yeah. Oh, I'm sensing the next podcast. Hmm, that's a good one. That's replacement. Like, you know how we do that. What are you gonna do if you don't have eggs in the recipe? We're gonna. Well, that's it. And there's a there are several words we could play with on that. Worry is another one. Don't get me started with that word. Oh, that's crippling. Yeah. And that's a crippling. That's that again against ourself. And we use it. Not it's there's not a great deal. There's no redeeming quality to that one either because that one of the definitions I love for that word is worry is a prayer for something bad to happen. It you're the intent goes there, man. It's like manifesting and we feel sick to our stomach when we worry about somebody. We feel sick. We that's why we women start cleaning things because it's like I'm trying to get work it through. Like you're you know what I mean? You can't just sit there and fester, you know. So your dad was another one that I wanted to dinner. My dad was a character. He was a navy man. He had two big tattoos when he came out. That wasn't when you know tattoos were usually you only got them in the army or the navy or something like that. And that was the bad ass when you had a tattoo was a bad ass. Now it's like you had a whole court there you know an eagle and an eagle and he was funny. As I said he used he had inappropriate humor sometimes and he was funny. I mean he really was and yeah inappropriate is okay. I mean come on. It's just funny. I mean Nancy and I have we love comedy because it goes on work play most of the time or this is just funny even if it's completely inappropriate. It's funny. It's funny. You know how many times did we get the giggles before after a podcast or during you know over something completely inappropriate. You know I mean my dad when he was um he had a bone spray at arthritis in his neck and he had a bone spur that was going into his throat. So his epiglottis didn't work anymore so he couldn't really swallow and think we're going to put a feeding they did put a feeding tube in him but he had dementia so he kept pulling everything out and so they said well we can either just take everything out and let him go naturally or well we have to restrain him to keep a feeding tube in him. I thought oh that's no way to live that's not going to be good. So anyway they they put they they had him sedated and he had a traconist throat. Oh they removed it. We decided the kindest thing to do would be just let him go you know natural and they removed it and everything and he he's lying in the bed in the hospital bed and he's going would you believe that took a tree trunk out of my throat? And we said no dad we can't believe that my god no. He goes yeah you know that thing in the back of your throat that clitoris it doesn't work anymore. Oh that's why they call it the little man in the boat. I mean he thought the epiglottis was the he couldn't remember. Oh my god. Oh no he really oh that's hysterical. We were on the floor. I have a tape. I have it on. Oh my gosh that's hysterical. It's so funny. He's he's uh yeah yeah. That's funny. That's funny. That's sweet. That's sweet. Well I love that I love that question and the other question I love out of the 10 questions is what would you do for a day and so many people go I love everything I do so I wouldn't do anything. I mean well you're just going to try something new for a day and just to see what you like and you want to be a nature photographer. So are you going to are you going to come on the road with Nancy and I once in a while and go into a park and go photography with us? Come on. That'd be fun. Is that even a word photography? That's my new word. Well that's a new word. See I like going out photography today. Good. That's good. I like that. I think when when we see you that we need to go to a park and and we have a champagne brunch all right I think I know you know how to do a champagne brunch right and then we'll go photography nature. Yes I mean I would just love to be already know or be a pianist and be able to do this just do this and make songs and go just sit at the piano and go. It's just coming right through me. No yes just play. I would love that. I would love to just. That's the beauty of dance right? What? Dance that's the beauty of dance. However I mean every dancer I know the the rigorous training and the no eating you know no that's sad no that's not but I respect highly because dance does that you. There's so much to do Shelley there's so much to do in the world being that's exactly have some fun right I love it well it's a new year are you excited it's a new year I mean to me it's like it's turning a page it doesn't really go with like it doesn't make sense you know in the other sphere of the world the new year of that but it is a way of everyone coming together going we get to turn the page together and maybe we have more unity I hope so I hope so. Shelley always fun everyone Shelley was in dot com center for a newsletter she is here every first sunday because we got to kick off a month with a Shelley you know otherwise we'll have to go I should have listened I had to do that I'm sorry I just had to do that so don't use that word next month we'll be talking about words that can be replaced how about that the Shelley vocabulary will be coming right thank you so much Shelley thank you all for listening look in the episode notes for the link to our booklet with Shelley's articles that will get you through the winter season talk about relationships how to kind of reset your life to move forward right that's what it's about winter is a good time to reflect and move forward so we're going to go towards the light and flowers pretty soon spring will be here and then we'll be giddy I love it well we can be giddy now I see exactly why wait because if we wait we'll go I I didn't say I can't blame it blankity blank take care everyone thanks Shelley thank you for listening to big blend radios soul diving sunday show featuring transformational life coach Shelley Wissen follow Shelley at Shelley Wissen.com follow us at big blend radio dot com

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