It is my belief that each one of you, is unique, there isn't another one of you on the planet. And no one has the right to tell you the less than the less than the less than the less. Welcome to the accidental guru with your host, international speaker, trainer, and author, Dov Baron. Dov will be taking your calls and taking you to the depth of clarity that gives you the competitive edge without losing your soul. Real people, real issues, no fluff, and now, here's Dov Baron. Good morning, Seattle, and the entire west coast on this fabulous free day morning. Yes, this is a free day. It's a new day. It's a new dawn. It's a new way of looking at your world. And for those of you listening to us around the world, wherever you are, whatever the time of the day it is, welcome, welcome, hello. It's nice to have you join us. My name is Dov Baron, and for the next hour, I'll be your host here at the accidental guru radio show broadcasting out of Seattle on 106.9 FM. That's HD three. Yes, we're in HD and around the world on contact talk radio.com. So go tell your friends to tune in because we've got a mother of a show for you on this, the beginning of a mother's day weekend. And to all the mums out there, a big kiss for you, yes, that kiss is for every mother who fed, cared for, and put up with every angelic child and every horror child, okay? Motherhood. Who the heck would want that job? I am not sure. Okay, let me start today by saying a big thank you to all the mothers in my life, my birth mother, who of course brought me into the world. She also knew always how to laugh. And she to this day still doesn't mind a bit of a scrap. A big kiss goes out to my daughter and of course, the mother of my three grandchildren. Another big wet, lovely, beloved kiss to my bride, Renuka, and the mother of my boys, Michael and Mark, and a heartfelt hug to all the amazing women in my life, some of whom have been a mom when I needed one, Naseem, Auntie June, and all the others, thank you for all your love and support. And to you, dear listener, if you're a mom because you brought someone into the world or because you have created a safe place in the world for someone who didn't come through your body, thank you, thank you, thank you. As always today's show promises to titillate your neurons and our show du jour promises to be one of the most profound and funny shows you will ever hear. It will tickle your funny bone while also tugging at your heartstrings. Yes, let me share with you, dear listener. If you are someone who feels like packing it in, that it's just too tough, my guest today is going to give you a whole new reason to live your life and never give up. In fact, I'm willing to say that today's show will likely become a snot fest. Yes, I did say snot. Keep your hanky handy because there's a good chance you'll be blowing your nose and wiping your eyes more often than a coke head at the Playboy Menor in 1986. Now, as you know, I like to wear a little something special for each show, and I hope that you, dear listener, have also slipped out of your ubiquitous sweatpants and into something more alluring for today's show. I was looking for that certain something to wear for today's show, and I decided on a rather simple ensemble. I started off with a rather understated crown because, as some of you know, and some of you assisted in making it happen, on May 4th, my book Don't Read This, Unless You Want More Money, became a best-seller, so I'm a best-selling author, Hence the Crown. Now, it's rather hot in the studio today, this week possibly because of the residue of last week's rather naughty show, where many of you were bent over and spanked on the career. Yes, so along with my crown, and dressed a little unusually casual, I'm wearing a lime green polio t-shirt and an oh-so-delicate pair of undies. Now, they're not too small, and I'll tell you why. It would behoove you to consider there's a good chance that my guests today will have you and I, both, dear listener, laughing so hard we may just leak a little. So for that reason, the final piece of my ensemble is a pina pad. It's just a little insert that one puts in a gentleman's undies, so as to prevent us from getting those yellow daffodils in the front of our briefs. Dear listener, I can tell you that today I want you to go out and contact your friends and tell them to get their ears wrapped around our signal. Because we are going to have a bucking good time, yes. After the first break, you'll be able to call in on 877-230-3062 and speak to me and my guest, and during the show we will have fun and we will be, as always, solution-oriented. During the upcoming hour, my guest and I will be doing our very best to assist you in getting the most practical, applicable solutions for getting you out of stock and into action, giving you, as always, solid success solutions. Dear listener, I can tell you that today's guest is with all joke and aside a dear friend. A wise woman, and in truth, a personal inspiration to me. For those of you who know my story, you know I've had some tough times. This lady's life makes mine look like a trip to Disneyland with a lot of cotton candy. If you are telling yourself, as I said, that it's too hard or that you want to quit, if you're running some kind of BS victim story, this lady is going to wake up your heart and your soul and realize that whatever is going on, you are bigger than the situations you're in. You see, my guest today is an author of one of my favorite books. If you could hear what I can see, she is an outstanding award-winning comedian, an award-winning motivational speaker who has shared the stage with some of the greats, including Tony Robbins. She is not a survivor, she is a thriver. Yes, and on top of all that, she's probably the only person I know who is less politically correct than I am. So ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together and welcome the beautiful Kathy Buckley. Are you ready? Come on, give her the cheers. Kathy Dolly, welcome. That's really sad. That's really sad. Now I know radio, you can't applaud. I'm deaf. I'm not dumb, dog. The only thing I can say with everything that you just said, I'm thinking to myself, a bunch of wet kisses and little daffodils on your undies, I mean, where do you come up with this stuff? And congratulations on your book, awesome book, awesome, awesome book, awesome book to help so many people with their lives to move forward. What a blessing that God puts you on this earth, my friend. You're very, very sweet, Dolly. Thank you so much. Now I know that our listeners are going to be waiting with baited breath to take in all the absolute gems that you are going to share with us over the hour. I'm very honored for you to join us here in the intimate space. So let's start off by getting to know some of your intimate bits, Kathy Buckley. Kathy, anything you want. In the tradition of the show, how about you share with our listener something that most people wouldn't know about you? Well, everybody knows I haven't been lading a long time. Well, maybe not everybody. It was to be told here. Well, I'm glad you're joining us. It's a real honor to have you with us. Honestly, I was so looking forward to this show, Kathy. Kathy, as I said, is one of my favorite people on the planet. We've been friends for about eight years now, eight, nine years. And she's a great inspiration. So Kathy, tell us a little bit, fill our listener in and give them a little bit of a background on who you are. I really want people to understand that you could have quit on everything, especially your life so easily, and you didn't. You went on and you really made a massive difference in a lot of people's lives just by being who you are. Start wherever you like, love. When I was born, I was born I ate factor, and then I developed a vitamin and dietit. And doctors told my parents at both times that I would be a slow learner. And I was in school for retardation for several years before they found out it was just a hearing loss. And so when they found out it was a hearing loss, they put them to another school where I learned how to speak with some big piece classes even to this day because it's something that I have to do to survive. And when I was young, my dad was molesting me, not realizing, you know, because I had no language skills. And, you know, most kids with disabilities are easy victims because they're weaker. And then when I was, I graduated from high school with like a one-point average, didn't know that we were collecting points, you think somebody would clue me in there. And then by the time I was 19 and a half, I was laying on a beast on baby, lifeguards just ran me over, ran over my face, just tied him back. I was laid up for five years, I was in and out of a wheelchair for two and a half years. I figured I didn't hear them, I got up and I left. And then I went on with, after that, I had no dream. I had no dream. My whole life was basically trying to find an exception, finding a place that fits. I didn't understand my disability, I didn't understand why I wasn't testing on like everybody else. It's funny, you know, when you have no communication, when you don't have language skills, you don't feel love, you don't feel acceptance. And more importantly, you can't protect yourself, you can't defend yourself verbally. So if you have no communication skills, there's nothing, you're fast. So by the time I graduated from high school, I mean, I really didn't know what was going on in school. They took my hearing aids away when I was in sixth grade, which I was glad because they didn't fit me right, they were very painful. But I was really didn't understand, have dreams, nobody taught me to have a dream. I wasn't taught, I think, you know, you do what you see, you know, all you're supposed to get married and have a family, but I didn't know that there were other careers out there. I didn't know there was opportunities to reach for. I was just going by Mikey C. Mikey Doo because that's what a justice person does. You don't, you don't, you know, like my dad taught, I watched her, she sits in front of the TV, the radio is going, she's doing a homework and a mother's calling her and I'm like, how can you consume that much information at one time? But her little brain knows how to diffuse all of that stuff. So I don't have that opportunity, so by the time I graduated from high school, you know, I did try to quit several times, I mean, I try to commit suicide and there's going to be some things I'm not going to be successful at and I'm so glad I did fail at that and by before you know it, I went ahead and when I got run over by the street, I died at the scene of the accident and it was truly a blessing, with a blessing, I saw a life after death, at least I believe I did and I just, this is something, you know, you spend your whole life looking for free things, for me, it would love warmth and acceptance. When I died that day, I got a love that's just out of this world. I mean, I have yet to see it on this earth, you can feel it periodically, you can feel it, it's a joy within you and then I got a warmth and knowing that I am totally protected and it was a comforting feeling of not feeling alone and then I got this incredible gift of acceptance, unconditional as I am, flaws and all, both of them, you have any flaws, you have three, you have three, I think, I think it was two and then I got this fourth gift, a gift that no one told me about my whole first 20 years of my life and that was a gift of choice, something, someone loved me so much that let me make the choices to whether I was going to stay or go and I decided somehow another, I don't know, maybe because I just got run over by a deep, I wasn't thinking too clearly and I thought, you know, my sister but I stayed and in doing that, it was like a wake up call to go, now is your time to live and I always want to tell people, if I could just kill you for five minutes and when you come back, everything will be fine, you know, you can't do that and I always ask God, I was just going to say, I agree with you that really to wake up most people need to die. I'm going to take a break, Kathy, and when we come back, I want you to continue on and then we're going to also take some calls, you'd be able to call in on 877-230-3062 and you'll be able to speak to myself, Del Varen and Kathy Buckley, my amazing guest and she's going to continue telling us about her story when she comes right back, we're going to put a break and we'll see you in just a few. Don't listen to this. Unless you want more money, people have all kinds of ridiculous ideas about what it takes to achieve fast amounts of wealth and success, consistently those ideas are dead wrong. Think about it, what you've been told about creating wealth has likely been from those who did not, do not, or ever likely to have it, in his book don't read this unless you want more money, Del Varen collapses your old money miss and shows you how to tap into your unique value, even if you don't know what it is yet. As you turn each page of this book, Del Varen will walk you through a process that will have them banging down your door to give you money. Don't read this, unless you want more money, subconscious tactics of the truly affluent is a guaranteed bestseller you'll want to buy for friends and read over and over again. Go to www.don'treadthisbook.com/money, get your copy today. You know there are many things in the world that could not happen without people believing in other people, products, service, vision, passion and more, and that holds true with the sponsors of Contact Talk Radio. You hear us say, making contact with what matters to you. That's not just a statement, it's what we believe. ContactTalkRadio.com has been broadcasting intriguing, light-hearted, informational shows around the world for many years, much of which would not happen without our sponsors. You too can benefit from our sponsors by checking them out on the website at www.contacttalkradio.com. Click on sponsors, there you can browse the many companies who continue to flourish and pave the way for more businesses and give a helping hand to a growing economy. ContactTalkRadio applauds our sponsors for their support. You too can become a sponsor and add your support to the cause. To learn how, go to the website at www.contacttalkradio.com and click on sponsor or email info@contacttalkradio.com. Now is your chance to be part of the show, call 877-230-3062. Call in with your questions or thoughts and talk with the host and their guests. Again that number is 877-230-3062. Welcome back dear listener. It's a pleasure to have you here. My name is Dov Baron, I'm the host of the accidental guru and I'm here today with my guests, the brilliant, the funny and the beautiful, Kathy Buckley and Kathy's been telling us a little bit about her life and how she got started and how she started off being labeled as mentally retarded and was shoved into the wrong schools and gone through a horrendous traumas of molestation and then was run over by a jeep on a beach and was hospitalized and told she would never get out and fortunately she's deaf so she didn't hear what they said and she got up and walked out and so she's going to carry on for a minute. Let's see, like I said you can call in, we gave you the number to call in, 877-230-3062. If you want to call in or you can just listen in as Kathy and I discussed, may you still like Kathy? Oh yes, you're getting rid of me very easy honey. That's good to hear. So tell us why you didn't quit Kathy. Well let me just finish the beef of this and that is after I had the seat accident and I started walking and I had no goals, no dreams. So I ended up in California, I was living in Ohio at the time and what ended up happening is I got cancer. Now after a little while you get pissed off, okay? So I get the cancer and I think that was one of my biggest breakup calls because I think we go through life. I was going through life looking for all the acceptance in all the wrong places and that was anybody and everybody other than myself. I was looking for approval for having a reason to be honest. I was looking for please love me, please accept me but the very person who has been accepting me with me. You know, I was asking people to love and respect and accept me but if I hadn't given myself any of those things, how can they treat me in that way? I believe that we are treated the way we treat ourselves. We have to teach people how we want to be treated. And so I started learning when I got the cancer, I had the look at my path. It was like all of a sudden I got tired of everybody picking and pulling and telling me what I can and cannot do and it's like I was this little minister computer that came into the world and all of everybody kept putting into my computer was you can't, you're not worthy, you're not acceptable, you're ugly. All these things will be put into my computer and then when I got the cancer and it was a matter of life or death and having to make a choice between that again, I thought, you know what, that gift choice that was given to me, the gift choice I get to see, this is the gift that's given to me, my Heavenly Father had blessed me with my physical fear for being and I am treated like trash, how disrespectful and then I thought if I was a mom, if I was a mom and I had given birth to me and I saw my kid allowing all these negative energy, negative voices come into her life and to believe them to the point that too was it worthy to be acceptable to be living here, that would break my heart as a mother and then I thought, oh my God, my Heavenly Father, how sad he must be that he created something so beautiful and I'm abusing it along with society. And that's when I basically said, I have to get up and brush myself off and I have to take a long hard look in the mirror and say, who are you, what's your favorite color, what do you like to eat, I have to get acquainted with me as an individual, with me, who, what is your gift, what is your contribution to this world, what do you want, how do you want to fit in for you and then I woke up and I just said, you know what, I don't care what anybody thinks anymore, I don't care, I just, I don't care, I don't care, you know what, 90% of my thinking that I did, nobody asked me to think in those thoughts in the first place. No. You know what I mean? I was just putting, I was putting out energy of fear thinking everybody was just because I had so much of it that I continued this tradition of the abuse and so what I did is I went home, I confronted my mom with my path, I confronted my dad with what he did and how we're going to work out, how we're going to work this out because I know that if I'm going to go forward in my life, that little ankle, that little ankle in mind with the ball and chain, the only thing that's going to get that off of me is the key of forgiveness and it's not about forgiving the person who hurts you, it's about forgiving yourself so you can move forward and let go. So I got that key and I unlocked it and man, I've been taken off like a bat out of hell. But that's brilliant because I mean, I truly believe that, that this idea that we're supposed to forgive everybody else is nonsense because you cannot forgive anybody else until you forgive yourself and then people come back logically and say, well I don't forgive myself, I didn't do anything wrong, no, it's not a logical thing, it's an emotional thing and there's a need to know that you, whatever, because you said something very important after you said that you continued the cycle of abuse and that's what happens with people who are abused. They'll become the abuser of themselves. We continue with what we know and if you ever stop and think about it, more than half of the stuff that we know wasn't ours in the first place. We learned it from some place else, we just carried it on with us. You got it. We need to let go and create new things so I decided to take my computer and do a total virus thing and break it all down and I said, now, if I'm going to create new, what do I want in my life? I want laughter, I want light, I want love, I want stories, I want happiness and I said, well how can I get that in my life? So what I did is I made a whole lip of all these incredible, wonderful words. I'm fabulous, terrific, marvelous, all these words. I looked up all these positive words and I said, you now are going to be a part of my vocabulary. I've never had you words in my vocabulary, I will have you in my vocabulary now and so when somebody would say, so how do you do it, I would say, oh I'm fine, what the heck is fine? Is that even a word? Is that an emotion? No, so I would go, I'm fabulous, I'm terrific, I'm marvelous. And even if I'm not feeling that great in that moment, the minute I say it, I believe it. So what do you say is who you are and so I started looking at my vocabulary and we created myself with better choice of words. Fantastic. So we have a caller who's going to join us, Chris is calling and Chris, Chris has a question for you. I think you might have already answered it, but we'll find out anyway. Chris, are you there? Hello. Chris. Hi, Chris. Hey, yeah, your story is amazing, you're fabulous to hear what you've done and everything and it's just like, I can see how Doug can consider you one of his closest and dearest friends. It's truly amazing. My question is, I have between sports and speaking and doing a lot of different things in work, just before, you know, it looks to say baseball for example, just before I'm ready to hit or right before I'm ready to catch a ball. So I fly a sudden flash that the ball's going to hit me or I'm going to strike out or something like that. How would you necessarily get, what was the fastest way to get rid of a negative thought out of your head? Is there any quick applications or tools you can use to take flush that thought out of your head? Well, for me, whenever I get a negative thought, my first thing is, oh, the devil's playing on me. I'm going to win in this battle and I'll never go because I realize that my negative thoughts are nothing more than stopping me from going forward and so my belief system is to face my fears. Because negative thoughts are fears, creating a fear to stop from going forward, to making a fool out of yourself or whatever you may think that ultimate goal would be, but for me, it's like, I don't want to stop going backwards anymore. I want to go forward. I want to move on to space still. So I still have a lot of fears still that I'm dealing with, that I'm congruent one day out of time. Yeah. You know, and I think it's a lifetime commitment and that's the great thing about living life. If you live it with the exception of knowing that you're burning something new every day, it's a joy. So if you want to get over it to a lot of drugs, then you won't feel it dancing. I'm shitting, Chris. And if you do, call me because you've got to share. I can't let you read a fun stone, so don't worry about it. All right. Thank you very much. Thanks for being interesting. Thank you. Kathy, tell us, maybe share with us how you got started in comedy because, you know, really, it would be easy for somebody to say that your life started out as a tragedy. And you've, you know, you turned it into an empowering comedy. I know you had one woman shows and you've had HBO specials, you've done all kinds of great stuff. So tell us how you got started in comedy. Well, to be honest with you, I knew nothing about comedy because I'm deaf and hard of hearing is that it was not a part of my world. In fact, I still don't get a lot of comedy out there. When I watch comics, I'm going with that's not funny. You know, that's how I analyze comedy. But it was still a contest. It was a hot place money for certain for cerebral palsy. I had a girlfriend who had cerebral palsy and I asked you to believe in my naive mind that if we could have raised enough money to find the cure for cerebral palsy, then I wouldn't get too sick, literally, Jerry all the time to move all over the place. And the reason I did the contest was three separate individuals that didn't know each other, all saw this article in the paper about a comedy contest. And when three people come to you, or at least two, that comes to you to make a suggestion, I have a belief system that somebody's trying to put me on a path. Right. You know, and it's got to be a good path. So I went to this comedy contest, I mean, nothing about comedy. I went to the comedy club, I couldn't literally the comics, the microphones on front of their mouth. I didn't know what was going on. I took everything literally. One of the guys go, hey, what's with the Indian people and the data on their forehead? Where's that for? Target plastic. And I'm like, that's not funny, he needs that dot. And I would get so upset and then I went home and I went to videos and the videos didn't have captioning on them at that time. So I couldn't understand them. Robin William has the fastest lips I've ever seen in my life, so I had no idea what was going on. I sat in front of the TV and I cried for about an hour going, why am I trying to do something that's impossible for me? And then I thought, you know what, it's for the kids. I'm here to raise money for the kids. So if I make a fool out of myself, it's not going to be first or last time. So let's just put it out there and I started thinking I can make fun of being six foot tall, flat tested, having a hearing loss and I thought, oh my God, I got plenty of material here. And I went to the contest and this is the great part of the story that I don't fear very much. And I don't think you know this. Okay. I did the contest and it was for comics that have been in the business from three to ten years. I ended up placing fourth out of 80 comedians that were in the business of three to ten years. Wow. And I didn't know what I was not supposed to be in the contest. My friend who had cerebral palsy who was at a palsy place, she was in the office of the producers and she saw my picture and letter in the trash can. And she asked the producer, why is my picture and letter in the trash can go, did you see her letter? She can't even write because if she can't write a simple letter, how can she do comedy? And she begged him to put me in the show because everybody else is professional. She was going to have a shout out and then she fought her on it and she got me into the show and I didn't know that until years later and the producer told me. Wow. She never told me but the producer did. Right. So there's an old saying, you want to make God bless telling me a plan because I'm telling you I could not have dreamed of life I'm having. Well, it is rather bizarre, isn't it? I mean, you know, when you're a deaf lady in your comedy show. Yeah, when you let go and let God or whatever you believe it, when you finally let go of controlling your life, you can finally live it. Yeah. If we're controlling and planning and all these things, if you haven't noticed, you know, you can plan things on Monday for Tuesday, Tuesday for Wednesday. So and then somebody goes, would you do on Monday? I don't know. I was just planning for Tuesday. What would you do on Tuesday? I was planning for Wednesday and it's like, well, when did you live your life? Yeah. Would you, when did you get to enjoy the moment? When did you get to be in the now? Did you bother to take a look at the flower that came out of the crack of this cement? You know, because that's amazing to me because I always go, what are you doing? The grass is right here. Why do you have to come out of here? You know, I mean, it's just so much beauty out there to appreciate life. And that's one of the things I did every night before I go to bed. I write down all my blessings for the day. I count my blessings every night. Beautiful. Because when you see all that you have, you're so abundant instead of wanting what you don't need. Yes. Yeah. I think you're absolutely right. I think we spend way too much time wanting what we don't need and not recognizing what we have. And I think something you said that I think is extraordinarily important and profound. You know, constantly as a speaker, as a teacher, I'm here and people asking me that they're looking for their purpose and can I help them with that? You know, and I said this, I said this actually in the new book as well and don't read this unless you want more money. One of the things I said in there is, you know, you're looking for what it is that you're supposed to be doing and you've already got all these gifts. We call them genius blind spots and, you know, for instance, you, Kathy, would never have considered being a comedian, but you listened to that guidance. Whatever way it comes, whether you want to say it came through God or you want to say it came, you know, God coming through friends, whatever you want to call it, they don't think it matters what you call it, but what is important is for you to listen to the guidance because it may be something and it's most likely something you never would consider that because you're too embarrassed and you're afraid of looking foolish when you went beyond that. Well, the hardest thing for me was I'm deaf. I had the same in front of the group of 250 hearing people, people who have put me down my whole life. Yeah. That was a big fear for me. Oh, back. That was a huge fear for me to get on that stage and just be rejected one more time to find out I was accepted. Yeah. So now I get to live a life where I get to take people out of the moment and bring them in the now, make you laugh and my reward or the laugh in the applause. And I'll tell you, it's amazing. And for this day of every time I get on stage, my heart is so touched that people are asking me on the audience to they showed up. It is. Right. Well, we're going to go to break, Kathy. And right right after the break, we're going to come back. And if you want to call him with your questions or with any statements or even anything that you want to comment on what Kathy's having to say, you're welcome to do that at eight, seven, seven, two, three, zero, three, zero, six, two. We're going to break now and come back in just a mo see you soon. Don't listen to this. Unless you want more money. People have all kinds of ridiculous ideas about what it takes to achieve fast amounts of wealth and success. Consistently, those ideas are dead wrong. Think about it. What you've been told about creating wealth has likely been from those who did not, do not, or ever likely to have it. In his book, Don't Read This, Unless You Want More Money, Don Varen collapses your old money miss and shows you how to tap into your unique value, even if you don't know what it is yet. As you turn each page of this book, Don Varen will walk you through a process that will have them banging down your door to give you money. Don't read this unless you want more money, subconscious tactics of the truly affluent is a guaranteed bestseller you'll want to buy for friends and read over and over again. Go to www.don'treadthisbook.com/money, get your copy today! Contact Talk Radio has strived to be well connected, everything from the internet to your cell phone, and now Twitter. Yes, you too can find Contact Talk Radio on Twitter. Go to twitter.com/ctrnetwork and get connected to what matters to you. Did you know that you can rate this show on iTunes? The show you're listening to right now. It's true, you can leave your thoughts about the show, the topic, the guest you can even leave a suggestion. Then, before you leave, rate the show. The hosts love hearing from you, so next time you download this show from iTunes, leave your thoughts and rate the show, for the host and for others. Now is your chance to be part of the show, call 877-230-3062. Call in with your questions or thoughts and talk with the host and their guest. Again, that number is 877-230-3062. Hi, welcome back. My name is Dove Barron, I'm the host here at the Accidental Guru Radio Show, and I'm here today with my guest, the brilliant Cathy Buckley. We've been talking about Cathy and her life and what a great inspiration her life is to anyone who thinks that they maybe have too many hurdles to climb over or too many handicaps that are blocking them. This is a woman who has made an enormous difference, not only in her own life, but in other people's lives. Cathy is a dear friend and one of the reasons she's a dear friend, aside from her wisdom, her incredibly funnyness and her profound way of looking at life, is that Cathy is absolutely committed to contribution. She gets it, one of the things you've heard me talk about on other shows is we need to get away from competition and get into collaboration and contribution and Cathy's dedicated to that. Tell us a little bit about contribution, Cathy and what that means to you in your life. For me, I find that when you're contributing and you know what contributing can be as simple as putting a smile on someone's face or opening a door to someone. Contribution is really thinking outside of yourself as somebody else. Contribution doesn't necessarily mean about raising money, but it means about making a contribution and putting a little joy or a light in somebody else's life. And for me, I have my passion. I have a school in LA called No Limits. It's an after-school program for deaf and hard-of-hearing children. We started about 15 years ago and we started as a theater group because I was the only deaf child in my school and because I graduated with one point average, I was used to see another deaf child go from that just because black language goes. So we now have an after-school program. I'm doing a big event in June, June 19, so I'm doing a show with the kids, which is really a hoot because none of us can hear each other so I don't know who's going to be on cue. But it'll be fine. It'll be like, where are you going? I don't know. What's your line? I don't know. It's not fun. And my goal with the school is primarily to see that all these children have an opportunity. We get kids to us and they don't even know their name. Five years old. They don't even know what their name is because they haven't been taught. And people don't realize, "See, deafness is invisible. You really don't see it." No. And automatically, if you do meet somebody who's deaf and they don't respond, you just automatically click place judgment, "Oh, isn't stupid? Was he still having an attitude or whatever it might be?" And so for me, contribution is truly means just touching a heart, making a difference, giving them hope, moving forward. And when you do contribute to others, you're fine, but you're not that significant anyway. In many ways, isn't contribution about getting past people's labels, too? Oh, yeah. You know me about labor stuff. I don't like labor stuff. I do this whole thing about, I didn't tell moms, "Do you know what, for Mother's Day, I want all your mothers to go in your bathroom, put all their lights off, put candle lights on, put rose puddles, bubble bath, whatever it is, and take every label off of you. Take the label, "Mom, Mother, you take the label, wife, take the labor, sister, daughter, whatever your label is, take it off, go into the bathtub with your name only. His name is Mary, Jane, Kathy, whatever it is, go in and get acquainted with who you are as an individual, as a part of God before you walk out of that tub and walk out of that house. Because the best gift you can ever give to anybody in your life is who you are, first and foremost, before people started putting labor on. Because people fall in love with you prior to your labor, so don't lose yourself in spite of. We have celebrities, once they put that labor celebrity on them, they think you're somebody that you're not. People always think of me as a celebrity, I say, "No, my name is Kathy. I'm Kathy." Definitely people go, "What do you call yourself, just hard of hearing impaired?" I go, "No, Kathy." It's my name, it's who I am, and I refuse to be comedian, yes, I do comedy for a living. Motivational speakers, yes, I love to go out and make it difficult. They're different from people's lives and hoping to change them and put them on a good path. Yeah, I do that for a living, but that's not who I am, who I am is what I contribute to others in their lives, that's who I am, my heart. Listener, I really hope you were listening to that, I hope you wrote that down, that who you are is not what you do. As Kathy just said, maybe who you are is the contribution you put into the world. Maybe that's another way, at least, of looking at who you are, rather than looking at who you are by your accolades or your wealth or your stuff or how other people see you. But really about the difference you're making on a daily basis, and again, Kathy, I really want you to know this, I know you don't really know how much difference you've made in my life. I'm just so honored to have you as a friend and I know that every now and then we don't talk for like three, four, six months and then we get together and it always feels like it was like yesterday and we were a bloody good laughing and part of that is because we're two people speaking and neither of us bothered to go to any of the nonsense that we can easily go to, that we're conditioned to go to by a society about who we're supposed to be. And we never ask anything of each other, when we're together, we talk, we're just totally in the moment. But that's the basis of a good friendship. It's not about who's got what and you know, look, when you die, you can't take anything with you. No, it was actually going to come over. I was actually going to ask you for something today, I was asking you're going to ask you to loan me a bra, but I think I'm okay. What is that, a fling stop for me, oh my God, as I get older, it's like, where you going nipples? Bye now. Bye. Bye. It's getting cold up here, so you must be going south for the winter. Oh my God, I'm six foot tall, that's not pretty. I can't have very hard nipples, I talk to you because I died, it's not pretty. What is about your speaking, and I know you go out and you speak for organizations, you speak for companies, you inspire groups, I know that my wife saw you speak many years ago in Vancouver, British Columbia when you were speaking at the Women's event, Women of Power event. How? Tell us. Yeah, that was awesome. Power of women, yeah, and I think you spoke for like 700 or 800 women and really changed a lot of people's lives. I know I heard from a lot of people how impacting you were on them. I mean, they said they laughed, they cried, they peed a little, you know, they did the whole thing. And tell us about your speaking, maybe tell us even how people can find out about booking you, getting you. I know you're a busy lady, but how can they get a hold of you to come in and speak for their organization? I do corporate work, I do diversity work, I work with a medical field, I love working with a medical field because I like to teach classes bedside manners, you know, if you can't get them in your bed, you might as well teach them how to work from the side. But I do everything, school, educational programming. And if anybody does want to reach me, just go to my website, it's www.caffey, K-A-C-A-Y, Buckley, D-U-C-K-L-E-Y, dot com, very simple, there's a small video clip on there about doing some of my comedy and speaking. And my thing is, you know what, I wish, if I was allowed to make a gift, I wish I had enough money just to keep me happy so that I could do everything for free because I love making an impact. And I know it's not me who's doing it because I have a hard time when people come up to me and say, "Oh my God, this changed my life, you touched my life." And I believe in my heart, I was nothing more than the best of the Holy Spirit to work with me because I had my life and I know I'm doing a sharing of my experiences with you and showing you how to get past it. And life is really an incredible gift that you give yourself. It's an incredible gift you give yourself. Just take another minute and tell us a little bit more about that. Well see, so many people live their lives accordingly to what they think is done by society. You know, you get married at a certain time, you forget your kids at a certain time. You know, people live their lives accordingly to what they think is the routine of living life. If you notice, you know, people get a job and they go to work and they're not happy in their job but they got to pay the rent, they got to pay the bills. But I say, you know what, take a moment and think about all the things that put a smile on your face. All the things that when you were a kid that put a smile on your face, what were the things you enjoy, was it music, was it dancing, was it working, building things, whatever those things are. Well, all those things that put that little tinkle of joy in your stomach and your heart and you just want to go, "Yay!" with it. Think of all those things that put it into your heart and then go, "How do I put that in my life today? How can I keep that in my life?" Because when you start putting those little joys and smiles and stuff back into your heart, you're living life, you're living it, you're not existing it, you're absolutely enjoying it. You're actually would go outside and you would see that flower that comes out of the crack of the cement and go, "Wow!" And you would look at the clouds and the sky and go, "Whoa!" You know, you would see a cloud and when it laughs, that laughter would trigger right into you. In order to live life, you have to be in it, not exist in it, not a plan in it, not doing everything that you think it's supposed to do, it's not enough time in the day to do everything you want to do, but there's plenty of time in the day to find joy, but you have to live life. So the gift you have in your life is to live it, not to exist it. Now, in just a few seconds, I'm going to do some things to wind up the show, but I want, like I said, Cathy, when we started out, I know your life has had its challenges and I know that many of our listeners have gone through some things that are really challenging and we're all at different places in our lives and life is a series of challenges and overcoming those challenges and then preparation for the next challenge. And it can be easy to get worn down at the point of massive challenge. For those who are really feeling like they're getting close to the end of their cells, you know, they're feeling like they're running out of energy of steam and want to quit. Just in one, do you have one sort of quick, powerful sentence you would love to share to keep people going, Cathy? Yes, just remember, whatever challenge you have in your life, the other words for the word challenge is disability, you know, to be disabled, it is talent, you're disabled, all right, and the only disability that are out there today are attitudes. And the only attitudes you will ever have to deal with, really and truly, is the one within you and how you perceive, how you see and hear things. It's your choice, is how you want to take something and make it more negative or turn it into a positive or just ignore it. It is totally your choice and how you want to perceive what is going on around you. Drama is not necessary, you see, for some reason as human nature we look for the negative. I say look at the positive, change your format, take a look at life for what is really truly there for you and not what you see in your head. Brilliant, brilliant, Cathy. Thank you so much. It's been a joy to have you joining us and real, real pleasure. You're a gift and I'm, like I said, I'm honored to have you as a guest on the show. I'm very honored to have you as a friend and I know that you touched a lot of people's lives today. And I also know that for those of you who didn't know, and I hope I'm not going to get in trouble for this, Cathy, but Cathy was telling me off that she got news that her own mum was not well and this is a Mother's Day weekend and even aside from that she still held to her commitment to be here with you so that right after the show she can go take care of her mum and find out what's going on. For those of you who want to know, of course, you can join us and find us on iTunes now and on RadioDove.com where you can click on the show info and you can leave your comments and your feedback about this and any of our shows in our upcoming shows next week, which is May 14th, mid-May already, wow. My guest will be another dear friend of mine, I will be joined by the best-selling author of climb your ladder to success without running out of steam, John Rowley, John is a fellow muscle head who found a way to make sense of success in a way that now has him flying around the world teaching Fortune 500 companies how to put real muscle into their success and he'll do exactly that for you. As always, I want to thank my dear guest, the brilliant Cathy Buckley, and again you can find out about Cathy at Cathy Buckley.com, that's K-A-T-H-Y-B-U-C-K-L-E-Y.com, Cathy Buckley.com. I also want to thank you, dear listener, for tuning in, for taking the time to join us, for wrapping your ears around our signals, and I want to thank my team here in Seattle. This is Dove Baron, saying time, energy, effort, investing in your soul is time, energy, and effort well spent because investing in the development of your heart, of your soul, and of your mind is, in fact, investing in the hearts and souls of the people that you love and care about. It is my belief that each one of you is unique, there isn't another one of you on the planet and no one out there has the right to tell you that you're less than magnificent. You are an amazing being and your situation does not define you, as Cathy has so clearly pointed out, and it's brilliant, brilliant. Thank you so much, Cathy, again, it has been a real honor to have you with us, and thank you, Dove. You're a sweetheart, and again, please make sure you get a hold of Cathy, again, leave your comments on the radio, Dove, or anyone else you want, and make sure you tell your friends about this show, if they didn't catch you, make sure they get the replay. Thanks again to Cathy, to everyone, and again, to you, dear listener. Remember, you deserve to live in Affluence, so until next time, this is Dove Baron, host of the Accidental Guru, saying, "Open wide, here comes the flow, and I'll see you next time. Take care." It is my belief that each one of you is unique. There isn't another one of you on the planet, and no one has the right, the right to tell you that you're less than less than magnificent. You've been listening to the Accidental Guru with Dove Baron. Join us again next week, when Dove will be giving you the competitive edge without losing your soul, same time, same place, same channel. On behalf of Dove Baron, remember, take yourself and lifelike a shot of tequila. Straight up, live with courage, follow your passion, and stay real. (chimes)