You are listening to the Mind Mastery Podcast, turning the lightbulb on in the minds of homo sapiens on the planet earth, one lightbulb at a time. We are desperate folks, we need you to help us with a tagline, or you're gonna have to put up with this sort of tagline for the rest of your lives. I'm Scott Patton, the co-host, and the Mind Master, I'm the guy cracking up, because I'm the one with both of us. So, two episodes ago we talked about metaphors, and we talked about this crazy guy who blocked people in one lane of traffic, and then this other crazy guy tried to go around and pushed him over, and the next week there had been no traffic incident. So we didn't talk about it. This week there's been two. One occurred, so the metaphor of course was here's all two angry guys, and control, and all that sort of crap. So two weeks ago when we finished our episode, I hope you listened to it and enjoyed it. I'm heading home, I'm driving along, and the traffic is flowing, and all of a sudden it stops. And basically, I can see for miles and miles, as who would say, and there's no reason for the traffic to stop. There's no one on either lane, I'm in the middle lane, and there's nobody there, there's just like three cars in front of me, and I'm thinking like, what's going on, right? And what happened was someone had driven up the right-hand parking lane, there were cars parked, put the blinker on, and someone in my lane stopped, slowed down, stopped like there was no sudden crashes or anything like that, to let him in. And I thought, "Oh, isn't that nice?" So this week, I'm on my way here, and I just finished taking my son to the airport, and he had gone back to Montreal, and I thought, as in coming down Marine Drive, I will take a shortcut. The shortcut ended up taking me basically three quarters of the way around the city of Burnaby, out of my way, because I missed where I should, I didn't realize I was as far as I was, blah, blah, blah, blah, so I ended up coming this long way, and I thought, "Well, I tried to come the way I brought you, right?" Yeah, and it was just like, "Oh, I can't believe it, right?" That's right, exactly the way you brought me, that was the way I was coming, right, except they screwed it right up. And I could of course got pissed off, and that made me late, and everything up to the heat beam. But I'm coming down the road, and now I'm going the office direction on the same road where this previous incident had happened, and I'm going to turn. Now this road is very busy, and it's not often getting an opportunity to cross, turn left and cross. And I'm waiting, and I'm waiting, and I realize that the oncoming traffic had stopped to let me cross in front of them. Wow. Yeah, that's it. Thank you very much. So the lady in the blue car, thank you very much, because we were like three or four people behind her, wondering what the hell was going on, I'm sure, right? And I go, because I wasn't expecting it, and I came in, so I thought, "Oh, that's nice." So we had one kind of weird, weird and wild sort of rage, one, and I had two weeks. I've had two really kind of things. So working with what we talked about before, about the life is metaphorical, and that there's constantly metaphorical incidents happening for us to examine, and as I said on our podcast, if you think of life as a classroom in which you're constantly being shown the lessons, but never knowing whether you passed or not, you just get to see the lessons. And sometimes they don't necessarily tell you what the lesson is. It's disguise, it's always in a metaphorical sense. So we talked about that incident before, so with these ones, what do you see as the metaphor for you? Because you've got some insights to this now. Well, I say the metaphor for me is to continue giving and to continue being aware of your surroundings, and to me, both those cases were cases of people assisting other people. So if one was assisting somebody else and was watching, one was assisting me, and so that's the way I kind of looked at it. Because for me, they were both acts of generosity. Yeah, random acts of kindness. And that's what I was like, oh, cool, right? Yeah. I really like that. Thanks to generosity. So you look at that and you go, okay, well, there's an interesting metaphor. Is this an acknowledgement of my generosity, of my service, or is this a, you know, because it can be the way, or is this to tell me to be more open, to be more generous, you know, which is it? Here's an example. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's very interesting. It's neat. The other thing too, is we often hear about the bad drivers, and we rarely hear about the ones that are out there looking at, you know, the other side of it, right? Well, I think that that's, you know, that's a sad part of human nature that we can correct and we, you know, many of us do correct. And we've just done it today. Right. You aren't knowledge to people. Yeah, exactly. But it's, you know, it's one of the things for me that I find fascinating is, you know, I was talking to somebody the other day who was telling me about that they've been on holiday in the Bahamas, which is not a tough place to be. Yeah. It's a nice place to have on holiday. And they were over there for three weeks. So it was a decent holiday, you know, and for some reason this person had some intuition about that they should change the flight and come the day after. It would somehow work better. And this is a very successful businessman, busy person, but just felt an extra day would be a good thing. And so we tried to arrange that from the beginning and they were told, can be done, can be done, can be done on numerous occasions and eventually it happened and they got the extra day. Well, the people who flew out on the day that he was supposed to fly out, which was a childhood flight, on the day that he was supposed to fly out, there was some problem with the plane and they ended up getting stuck in Toronto in the horrible rain and cold weather and it was miserable and they were, and they had to sleep at the airport like, no, I don't have to tell, but still when I, and the airport went for another plane because it was a plane problem. And he was saying how grateful he was that he listened to his intuition and he didn't do that. He said, but he came back and many of those people who were there, he knew, and he said, it was fascinating to him. They had three magnificent weeks in a beautiful place of paradise, and he said, and all they talked about was the last day that they slept at the airport in Toronto, and he said, and he said, they really exemplified for him how quickly we are willing to forget the good and focus in on the bad, you know, and like you said, people are looking for the bad drivers and I get it. I mean, you know, I get at the bad, I see the bad drivers too. Well, yeah, watch out for them because they could hit you, exactly, and I've had that. So that can, you know, you can be focused in on that or you can be focused in on something else, and as you know, as any of the people listening though, I'm definitely not in favor of denial. I don't think denial works for a sub, but I do think that there is a point of perspective that you need to choose, and at any given moment we are faced with looking at what is the perspective? What is it that's right in front of us, and how else could I look at this? What might be the gift in this? So, you know, I mean, of course, I know we'll get into those kinds of things a lot during first access. That's right. That's coming up this week. It is. That's coming up in a couple of days. It'd be pretty exciting. Yeah. And it's going to be on the live video broadcast. Yeah, I saw that. That's going to be great. So lots of people around the world who would normally not get the chance to be in that intimate setting with me answering questions will actually get the opportunity to be, well, at least eavesdrop, visually and auditorily, to be able to see and listen to people as they start asking those usually, well, you know they're an amazing question. That's right. It's a very, very profound. So somebody wanted to check out first access, and they're not local, where would they go? If you go to firstaccessevent.com, and then if you click on register, you should be able to see a choice between the live event and the broadcast event. And if you're in one of, if you are a listener in South Africa, if you're listening to this in South Africa, or in Australia, or New Zealand, or England, or Europe, or China, or Singapore, you know, we are, of course, you know we live in South America, South America too, yeah. And you want to be part of that, that's where you can go, and it will be a live feed. So you'll be able to be live with us, and the brakes will be one way to take a break. That's right. Awesome. Very cool. The 16th and 17th of October. Yep. All right. Yep. A couple of Friday evening. Tomorrow. The next day. Yeah. I'll get this up today. Okay. Yeah. That's right. I think yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. We're just putting these out. We're having so much fun. All right. It's really good today. It's really good today. So do we have time for one more topic? Yeah, sure. All right. Because a friend of mine called me last night, a good friend, only like 15 or five years. He's going to first access. He was at wealth, at Quantum Wealth Mastery, and he's in a relationship. So this is, we're setting up a conversation about relationships for when we start at the Soulmates, Quantum Soulmates series. Right. Nicely. Nicely. But he called me up, and he says, now he's been living with this gal for maybe a year, been dating her for maybe two years, in around her. So it's not a long-term relationship. But she grew up in China. He grew up in BC. Right. So there's a lot of cultural things that go on, and he'll often call me and say, this is, and just to not, not even to vent, but just I think he just needs somebody to talk. She's going to bounce it off. That's right. So he'll talk to me about, this is the way she sees things, this is the way I see things. Sure. And then it kind of helps them. But they had, he's not struggling, but he's not where he wants to be financially. And she's not where she wants to be financially either. Right. So they're both not where they want to be financially. Mm-hmm. The quantum wealth master was so important. And they've talked about that sort of, that sort of thing on an ongoing basis. Right. No, not necessarily what we'd probably call a fight, but it's been an area of tension for sure. And so last night, they were two nights ago, came to the head, right, because he was kind of like, like, make a decision, you're either in or you're out and let's not, you know, about the stuff, right? So she said, I'm out. Oh. Okay. Yeah. So, and then they went to bed. It's asleep, right? Right. Because I mean, she's not going to get kicked out or she's not going to get kicked out. It was just, they had this conversation and she's incredibly honest. Right. Right. I mean, then just like, I'd be lying to be quite honest. Right. You know, all these, Frank, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know what the whole, I mean, I wasn't there watching it, but I mean, if it was me, I'd have lied, right? Right. No. I think, I think I should get out. I think I'm done. I think I'm done. Wow. So, yeah. So, I, that's what I thought. Oh my God, right? Because he loves her, like, nothing, right? Right. And as far as I can tell, she loves him too much. So the next morning, she says, if I guess she had to sleep and whatever and she says, no, I changed my mind. I want to be in this relationship with him and he's, you know, and, and then, and then she sort of said to him, like, you know, are you in or not? Right. And he says, yeah. And then, kids came up and they're in their late 40s. Right. And they both want to have kids. All right. And he's worried that having children will put a more of a financial burden on them. Well, just tell him for me, don't worry about it. You can be certain that you don't need worry. It will. It will. It will create more financial strain. Kids don't come with the text of that book. As you will know, you've got some of your own. I might have very expensive hobby snips, right? My two are not cheap, particularly while one of them likes mountain biking. So he breaks his bike every time he mountain bikes, right? Right. 2010 pounds of solid muscle coming down a mountain, running into trees, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's not a, you know, like I have a $100 bike. Yeah. It is $3,500. I get it. If your bike is $200 of the damage, it means it's to be thrown away. That's right. That's right. Well, plus I'll never do anything that will cause any damage to it for at least 10 years. Exactly. So, yeah. So he called me. He was telling me all this stuff. And I said, well, I said, if money was not a problem, would you, would you have to have? Oh. And he goes, oh, absolutely. I want to have a kid. That's as well. You know, don't let the money stop you because 30 years, and now I'm the same to him, you know, that they're going to be 20 when you're like 65, you know? Sure. So, I mean, it's not like they're, when you're 25 and you have a kid. No, exactly. But then her family had her when her mom was 50. Right. So anyway, I just thought, you know, I, I don't know what to think after this. I just, well, you know, it's, it's interesting dilemma because you've got so many different things here. You've got cross-cultural challenges because she's Chinese and he's Caucasian, brought up in, and you can be Chinese and Caucasian, brought up inside the same country and therefore similar culture, but she's not from here. So she has a different culture as well. Yeah. And her, all her family is still in China. Right. So there's a culture. There's a heritage. There's all those kinds of things that there, there's all kind. And with that, it's one of the things that we've got, we've done a lot of work around that with my clients. And those gaps are difficult to bridge, really are difficult to bridge, even with a couple who really love each other because there are certain things that we've talked about in other programs that are incredibly ingrained. And it's one of the things I've talked about many times, which is something is normal because you grew up with it. Mm-hmm. Everything is healthy and it doesn't mean it's right. Doesn't mean it'll work with that person. I assume it doesn't mean it'll work with that person. And so when you have these cross-cultural challenges, then it's so, you know, for me, I wouldn't ask them, "Do you want to have children?" I would say, "How do you see parents in?" Mm-hmm. It's a better question. Right. Because it's like, "Yeah, sure, you want to get it. So what?" How do you get it? To me, that's a, you know, that's a so what question. I don't get it. Cool. Yeah. Let's be one of kids. So what? A lot of people, one of kids, had them and really shouldn't be parents. That's my opinion. It's a very pointed one, but I honestly believe that. And there's a lot of their kids who would agree with you. Exactly. I think some people were very poor parents. And not because they're horrible people, but because they were never meant to be parents, but they got culturally or societally conditioned that that's what they're supposed to do. And there's this agenda that they're running through. And while we've been together this amount of time, we should have a kid. I don't really want children, but he doesn't know that I'm supposed to want children. And so I say I want children, but I don't really want them. It's a lot of people's positions. Right. And so for me it's- So they're lying like I would've lied. Well they're lying because they don't know how not to lie in that situation. So a lot of the time it's a lie that they don't even know they're committing, because they've never actually examined it for themselves. So for me, if we've talked about that- Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So for me, it's okay, you want our children. Great. Well, the better question is, how are you going to have children? Now as you know, you're going to birth them or how are you going to practice to get them. But how are you going to bring them up? What is going to be your parenting style? What is your view on discipline to the female? What is your view on discipline to the male? Or you know, provided the opposite sex partners in this case there. Which they are. So you know, what's your view on that? How do you see your time once you have children? What is it you enjoy doing most that you're willing to give up in order to have children? Well, because anyone who tells you you don't have to give up and stuff to have kids is on crack. No. It is your life for one year. Your life changes. Yeah. You know, my daughter came to me, I think you know, I have a grandson who is 15 years old. And my daughter came to me when she was young and she was pregnant. You know, she was, and she's still with the man. They have three children together that married. You know, it's all very good long-term relationship. But she was very young when she was pregnant. Right. And she said, "Dad, I've got some news for you and don't freak out." And I said, "Okay. What is it?" And she said, "I'm pregnant." And I said, "I didn't say congratulations. I mean, she'll tell you and you say, you if you do or anything like that." I just said, "How do you feel about that?" And she said, "Well, I'm kind of nervous. I thought you might freak out." And I said, "This doesn't matter what I think. Somebody's going to have to get you. How do you feel about it?" And she goes, "I really want to have the baby." And I said, "Cool." And she said, "So you're okay with it?" I said, "Yeah. I just want to tell you one thing." And she said, "Well." "Do you remember when you were 13 and I taught you to meditate?" And she said, "Yeah." I said, "What did I have you do?" And she said, "You had me look in the corner of the-- whether-- two corners of a wall meet with the ceiling and that point between those three--" "Okay." And she said, "You had me looking at that thing and breathing and not take my eyes off it and just keep focusing on my breath for 20 minutes." And I said, "Was that easy or hard?" She said, "It was really hard. I was shocked." And she had no idea why it was going in this direction. And I said, "How long did it take for you to learn to be able to do that for 20 minutes?" She goes, "I still can't do it." So this is four or five years later. She still can't do 20 minutes of just holding my eye-- This is still practicing? She was still practicing. She was still practicing that time. I don't know if she is now, but she said, "I still couldn't do it. I couldn't hold--" It's got to do it right now. I did it right now. I did it right now. Couldn't hold-- So you couldn't do it. For 20 minutes. I did it for five seconds. And they said, "Here's what I want you to understand." So that focus that you took to look in that corner and breathe, that's the kind of focus you only for the next 20 years to have a child. It's a 20 year meditation. And anybody who tells you it's not is a fool. So what I'm trying to say is, yes, this comes to cultural problems. Yes, it will create a financial burden. Yes, there may be very different child-rearing styles of parenting, very different styles, and there's a 20-year focus where everything else you think is important is going to shift dramatically. It becomes second. Everything is going to become second. Many people have said to my wife and I, when we got married, when you get our children, we said, "No, we're not going to have any more children." We understand what it takes. We've got to get both of us. We know what it takes when we have any more kids. We know what our focus is now, and that's what our focus has to be. So that's my advice to your friend is, that's where you have to come back to. It's not anything else. First you have to start there. I think people set out with this glamorous vision of what having children will be because we see these wonderful pictures of dad picking up the kid and swinging them around and mom's playing in the poverty kid and it's all very romantic. And they forget that this diapers they get after they poop their diaper the first time and get over that. Well, yes, they poop their diaper and ends up in the back of their neck, and it's everywhere. And you take the diaper off and there's a boy, he pees hands in your eye and there's vomit and there's sickness and there's all those things. And even when your kid's really well and is in great health, it needs just an enormous amount of attention. Yeah. Well, as you were talking, it reminded me of my youngest son when he was in his high chair. And we used to put garbage bags all around his high chair because he would just take his food and thought it was hilarious to throw it on the floor. Right. Yeah. And he'd have this high chair, he'd have the food all switched around and played on and he'd have it all over his face and everything. It was just like, and you know, as you say that, it's funny and it's a romantic vision in a movie. But when you're the person cleaning it up for the 87th time, it gets some kind of loses this romance and loses this grammar. So for me, I think that that's the interesting piece. It's interesting that we went on that journey in this session from this metaphor's of vehicles and what that was all about to having kids and the reasons for having kids. And what it's all about in the metaphor was what, generosity, which is the willingness to give. And really, that's what having a child is. Yeah. It's the willingness to give for 20 years. I work with people and help them deal with their issues that they got from their parents. Right. But I am the first to say, being a parent is the most thankless, fricking job there is. Right. Absolutely. It takes a long time before there's any return on that real investment. Right. And financially, that may never come back. No, financially, it never comes back. You might as well write that one out. It's not often the kid becomes a multi-billionaire and gives you a hug. It gives you a big chunk of it. So with that, I guess we're going to say goodbye at the end of this session. It's, again, if you want to know more about what it is that I do, dog baron, you can go to dog baron.com, that's D-O-V-B-A-R-O-N.com. If you want to subscribe to these podcasts, you can give them, of course, on iTunes or you can go to freeminemasterypodcast.com, that's freeminemasterypodcast.com. You can find out about my workshops and my seminars at baronmastery.com. And of course, you can find about my co-hosts, Scott Patton, the Dean of Podology and the- Bloganomics and Podology. Oh, the Dean of Blood and Homics and Podology. Yes. See, I thought it was a middle one for that one. No. See, you've got much better taglines than turning a lightbulb to people that, which is where we started out. I didn't make it up. I asked somebody to come up and say, "You know what? I'm the Dean of Bloganomics." Oh. Oh. You might like that. That's good. That's better than my turn in a lightbulb and you're the mind master. Okay. And I did the first thing, by the way, the first thing I told my friend was, "You have to go to Quantum Soulmates for couples." Yeah. And next year, and he said, "Yeah, yeah, we're going to go to that." That's good. Okay. Thank you, everybody, for joining us. You never told them how to find out about yours? Oh, yeah. And to www.meatscottpacking.com would be a great place to start. And there's links there to a couple of my books and some of my trainings and anything you need to know about Internet and using that through your business. And of course, we always look forward to your feedback and your comments. So make sure you leave comments and you can do that. Don't burn. You can do that. Free my mastery. You can even review these and leave ratings for it on iTunes and places like that. Okay. So it's great being here and we'll see you next time. Bye-bye. This podcast is a part of the C-suite Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit c-suiteradio.com. (whooshing)
