Do you know what your Primary relationship is? And how it gets in the way of your Romantic one(s)? This week Dov shares exciting secrets from Quantum Soulmates and more... With more than twenty years in the industry Baron Mastery Institute has a proven track record as a world leader in advanced personal excellence education. We provide you with the most practical cutting edge tools that allow you to breakthrough your fears, overcome your limiting beliefs, and harness your ultimate power, completely aligning you with who you want to be. All of our programs combine innovative action-based learning with total immersion, giving you profound results quickly while providing positive lasting change. Whether you are looking to advance your career, develop deeper and more loving relationships, energize your health, master your emotions, or achieve financial freedom, our seminars, workshops, and University programs will revolutionize every area of your life forever. Length: 26:21 Go to iTunes and review our podcast: iTunes Mind Mastery Podcast Reviews and 5 star ratings Every review and 5 star rating adds to the popularity of my podcast and helps us put the word out to more people. Make sure to leave a Comment. Your feedback is much appreciated! \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ If You Enjoyed This, Please Go To "FANS OF THIS SHOW" On The RIGHT And Then Click On "BECOME A FAN". In Addition, PLEASE CLICK On The “SEND TO FRIENDS” At The Bottom Of This PodCast Episode…. COPY THE DATA And SEND THIS, and “My Pod Home Page URL”, To EVERYONE In Your ADDRESS BOOK…. FRIENDS Or ENEMIES! \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ WANT TO BE NOTIFIED OF NEW EPISODES? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Go To “Join my mailing list ” On The RIGHT………. When It Comes Up You Will See On This Page “Add me to dovbaron's mailing list:” ………. And Then type in your name and email address ………. Now Just Click “Save”. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Technorati Tags: personal growth, success, The Secret, Dõv Baron, Scott Paton. Get bonus content on Patreon
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welcome back everybody listening to the mind-mastery podcast I'm your co-host Scott Patton along with dogs there hey dog how you do today great scars good to be here as always after our weekends we get together to have these great chats and get to know a little bit more and deeper about all kinds of mysterious things including including I actually want to I want to give away a secret cool because you know some people say like how do you come up with these topics or how do you decide what to talk about or whatever so here's what happened in the last five minutes I walked in the door gave a hug a hug to dog gave me a hug we sat down and he was like no what even up to blah blah blah and we started talking and it was like wait we got to record this exactly and that's what happens is we have this conversation so when you're listening to this you're listening to basically our raw thoughts totally unedited and you get to eavesdrop eavesdrop really is yeah because you did a quantum soulmate workshop yeah I did quantum soulmates for singles yeah and we got we got on the topic because I went over and I spent a few days last week with my folks my dad's 80 he's slowing down he's not as his health isn't like it was even a year ago oh and so I went over to visit them and he in the Dallas she says are you an only child and I said no I have a sister who lives over in Victoria and this is how we got on to the topic we're going to talk about because she had I said she's more high maintenance than my 80 year old parents because she's got a little Datsen and whenever they go away and do something it's mom dad can you look after the dog right and then we got talking about the dogs and relationships exactly one of the things we talked about a quantum soulmates and it was a real challenge for people because and many people came up to me and breaks and lunches said shit you know I got it I realized and because one of the questions I asked people was first of all I asked everybody are you single you know and this was a singles program but it actually doesn't matter if you listen to this and you're in a primary relationship you know you're married or you're living with somebody and the question still applies and I know you'll think the answer is obvious if you're in a relationship but my question was I can't wait to answer it my question was I remember I'm speaking to singles at this point right but again do a single right now right but again it doesn't matter if the person listening here is actually in primary relationship and my question was who are you in primary relationship with and so of course these are single people so the answer is no one I'm single right yeah because that's an automatic answer and my and my response is no you wouldn't be single if you weren't in a primary relationship with myself no rarely is that true I mean I'd like that to be true but rarely is that actually true rally a primary relationship with my sister's dog well the fact of the matter is that people are in all kinds of primary relationships so you know what we have a home massive questionnaire for constant so many singles that we help people to fill out and by the end of it's interesting when we come to the end and we ask people to go back and look at the answers they gave that very often people say I can't believe I wrote those answers because my thinking is changed that dramatically about a relationship that is actually like somebody else wrote it in five days so one of the questions is about this who you're in primary relationship with and of course if you're single most people writing nobody nobody yeah there's nobody there and I will say you're always in a primary relationship and but most people don't notice in a primary relationship because we've been socially conditioned to say a primary relationship is with the person you live with it's your you know it's somebody your wife or your father right and the truth is that in the example of your sister her primary relationship is with her dog so if your sister was sat in my office and she said you know I'm single and I'm looking to meet someone I'm gonna ask you the same question which you'd say nobody and I'd say well that's not true there's no room for a partner if your primary relationship is with the dog yeah and they're very ridiculous and I said well visit what are you looking for a relationship so tell me what are some of the things you look for a relationship well I would say like affection affection interaction interaction interesting conversation interesting conversation similar values similar values you know like I'm anonymous I would hope she would be monogamous as an example right so you said similar values yeah conversation affection yeah and sorry I can't remember I can't okay I think it was ahead two arms in a leg no but like companionship companionship right so if you think about that imagine that you're desperate and you may not be but let's imagine how you are yeah the desperate and somebody shows up who is want to be a companion to you and give you lots of affection is that gonna be appealing absolutely absolutely even though you know the other things like there's a missing value in conversations of poor right the conversations of poor because you were hungry and that's how most people are I spend a lot of time in a grocery store running grocery stores right managing grocery stores and we loved it when the mom came in with two hungry kids sure because and and you could tell she was stressed and probably hadn't eaten all that day either because she was buying all sorts of stuff that she wouldn't buy otherwise right someone comes in who's just finished eating and they've got their list and they're organized they just buy their 20 bucks with the groceries and leave exactly and that's what we talked about much earlier podcast a long time ago was how important it is to not shop when you're hungry for a partner that's right but most people are desperate yeah so what that means is if somebody shows up who's want to give you the affection and the companionship the other things kind of go out of the window now if you think about a dog for instance mm-hmm a dog constant affection yeah you have that touching I think that's touching lots of touching lots of affection right shorter memory very short memory right I mean you get pissed off of the dog you kick his ass and five seconds later comes back to the lake situation and it's so surprised to see you well and it always meets you at the door wrapping up and down we're excited to be up and down with excitement yeah so if you think about it that's why people are in primary relations with animals right cats with dogs with you know with horses we see this all the time rather than actually saying hold on a second what do I want in a relationship there's no wrong with having a dog believe it wrong with having a cow or also any of the back bunny whatever it is but you've got to be willing to say am I substituting with unconsciously substitute a primary relationship and if you are and you can own that and you're okay with it I don't have a challenge with it but if you're telling me you want a relationship with another being so soon then there's no room because I will say relationship is a room being offered to right here in your daughter in it there's no room for somebody else mm-hmm so that banged a question because people really began to question this and look at this and then one guy said he was probably an hour and a half after that section he put his hand up and he said I've just had a massive aha and he said may I be totally an absolute honest and I said I'm good with that that's everybody else yes everybody's good anybody had a problem with it no okay he said all right I realized something I said what he said I'm in a primary relationship with my computer haha I said why he said well when I go through what I want in a relationship I want stimulus I got lots of great stimulus for my computer yeah I went conversation he said I joined forums I speak to people online I've got that yeah he goes I want great sex in my relationships because I have great sex through the computer right yeah he says I have sexual issues through the computer yeah and you suddenly realize his primary relationship was with a computer the Borg right have arrived it's right yeah he will be in secret and resistance his you know we're not so great brings what a very good guy but that's yeah that's really true primary relationship is a computer see like I have friends in Cyprus all over England Florida San Diego that I'm communicating with either talking through the computer or typing through the computer every day right and people say well aren't you lonely I go I got so many friends I could travel the world and visit them if I wanted right so yeah that's a great point right so that there's nothing I think it's great to have that I mean it's one of the wonderful advantages of mum's I know but if I'm using that and that gets in a way of my like we're together in a room right relationship right then that's a problem well you and I have done this we've done this through Skype mm-hmm right yeah and I have no doubt in my mind that I definitely prefer it when you and I sit in eyeball the eyeball yeah doing this now I realize you get in your car and if the driving deal with traffic and whatever it is and I appreciate that but to me that adds the connection to our relationship and for me when it's my opinion on it you answer the quality of these podcast is no doubt right call we did was not at the same level the other ones so some interaction because we're watching each other this body cues this way the body moves is there's a certain thing you pick up energetically you don't get with those other folks communication and if you think about that as a primary relationship stuff you know when you get it yeah when you can actually have a relationship so you know it's no wonder the online dating is so massive and so disappointing yeah well and you see there's another you you all this maybe end up being a tangent but there's another problem right and that is the kid in the candy store the online dating is there is you know 532 in my case women in my age bracket right and I'm looking at all the pictures picking them right you know reading of whatever they say that they feel seldom and then it's like it's like too many choices almost yeah and then and then the standards like I know a friend of mine was talking to this gal who single and he said to her you can't live up to the standards you expect the guys that you want a date to live up to do I let alone find a guy that could live up to those stand right and I think that's part of the problem with the online dating it's like well the online dating excuse me has become an excuse to not have relationships as far as I'm concerned now I know people find that would find that bit challenging but online dating is an excuse not to have a relationship it's a way to flutter by which I mean is like a butterfly just popping from one thing to the next but never to go into the next like a baby yeah flutter by but a flutter by this guy he just flutter by each of these things you mean it's a little light-ass contact but never you know it's one of the things I've been saying for years in the last even in the last five years it's that recent last five years our ability to communicate that's gone through the roof we've got Skype we've got email we've got pages we've got faxes we've got cell phones you know we've got Facebook we got my my space we got Twitter I mean it goes on forever yeah right infinite forever and ever and ever and yet so little connection so all these ways to communicate but so little connection yeah right so you can't tell me you know some because you wrote three little short chat things on on Twitter to them when you think you've got this thing going on we're not we're not I know you're absolutely right so for me it's these devices have given us better ways to communicate but but weaker ways to connect yeah the connection is what we want is we know one communication we want connection right and so let's go back to the 18th century mm-hmm now what happened a lot of times then is the gentleman would write a love letter and give it to the butler who gave it to the horseman who rode the horse for four days to give it to the princess right right and then she would read it and then she would write a reply and send it back right and when you think of the quality of some of the that writing yes and now compare it to BRB yeah yeah or L the number eight are right later okay see I don't know I mean so we're and we're actually taking our communication and squishing it so it's even harder to you know to use it as a connection but I mean we need to be eloquent writers yeah I think that when you had to do it through writing I think you know especially if it took you know if there was a day or two days or four days or a week or whatever it was but I let it be received you wanted it to receive the something magnificent you wanted you know you couldn't write well in your head you know yeah we'd have to have something that I can't wait for the sun to rise on you tomorrow and receive my letter right and we become so bloody lazy yeah around this on not poetic yeah right I mean people are talking about the one more romance but everybody's in a bloody hurry like you know romance isn't fast romance romance is actually the exact opposite well this is about slowing it down if you really because it's about being sensual right you know I I'll give you a really graphic example and for those of you who are offended by this thing but this is a great example you know a friend of mine wanted me of my stag wanted me to go see strippers and I said you know I just don't do that I don't like it I find it disrespectful to women and I particularly personally find it disrespectful to my bride or I was gonna be married it seems stupid to me yeah and and and my friend said well if you ever see mine I said of course I would not live in a cardboard box of course I've seen a stripper and he said well what I like and I said I find it demeaning but I also find that what I've seen is I actually saw burlesque I saw burlesque shows years ago which are very different and he said well what's the difference and I said in a bless show the woman is never totally naked there's always something covered up and this and it takes a long time and there's a seduction process and and he said well what's the difference with a stripper a modern day stripper and he said that she comes on stage and excuse me she screws you there's no romance there's no seduction in the process it's like here it is come get it yeah right it's cold and it's like for me they're cold yeah but this and it's not judgment on them it's the whole process they have to be right but it's the whole process of understanding that that we all want the seduction I don't talk about men I talk about all of us women want romance men want seduction there's no difference you know so it's all about slowing the process down yeah so I said something for the men mm-hmm when was the last time you brought flowers to someone you were going on a date with right I mean just rarely happens yeah right you just don't do something anymore yeah right I did it last night I went to see a movie and with this gal and I you know we're great friends we'll ever be more than great friends Lord only knows right but I decided you know that I was just gonna bring our flowers when we get together right and so I brought her a rose and I got one of these little round chocolate lints and here's the rose here's the chocolate and she just squealed with the light right oh you know and yeah we had a great time and it was fun the movie was good and went for a walk afterwards and it was a nice time together and I thought wow like I kind of miss being romantic and I felt romantic giving her that rose so there's so whole thing around romance I mean shit with you know women complaining guys about no romantic when we you last romantic when was the last time you did something romantic well and you know the response is what I be real more about it if he was yeah that's garbage absolutely nonsense you've got to make a decision if you have to be the change you want to see in the world yeah but the same time it's thinking about slowing it down and if you think about everything we do is faster and faster or faster you know we we write teachers at 140 characters right we you know it's a message right and you're not allowed any more than that right and your message goes around the world at twice the speed of light right so you know how how is this supposed to it was what we need to slow down particularly when it comes to connecting not communicating but connecting communication and connection are vastly different like when was the last time you sat you know say you're in relationship you sat and you took a little post-it note doesn't have to be a big thing and you wrote something you admire about your pond there and snuck it into their lunch or into the daytime or into into their laptops so that when they opened it up it was there when was all the time you did something like that when was the last time you you were romantic to somebody you really cared about you know slowing the whole process down you know people actually think it's kind of strange to go on a date and take flowers now now now maybe we're just old parts yeah no we're not but maybe we have an old file sensibility in fashion values right but just maybe it's but for me I know that I've as a guy I've had remembering me flowers and that for me just rocks Wow I never had that exactly and for a guy that's like wow that feels I was like I was really touched yeah that would be very it was like so because because I hate the stereotypical stuff around men are supposed to be one thing a woman was doing I think it's nonsense anyway so when a woman breaks a stereotype with me I just love that mm-hmm but I've had that shows a lot of awareness to do because you have to be aware of the stereotype to break it yeah right and you know I haven't had that interesting that's wonderful so you know we go women yeah giving a guy a rose and see what he does alright just he could actually get romantic well you might you know you it's again be the change you want to say you might remind him yeah rather rather than complaining or negative you don't be romantic and I think your point is flowing down is is so important I never really thought about it before but you know you think about the guy it in a typical to family home with a bunch of kids this in the 1950s the guy comes home from work the wife's cooking the kids are yelling and screaming and and where is that connection it kind of gets lost right but if you think okay I get home first or he gets home first you go you meet the person at the door first of all you're taking time out of whatever you're doing to slow down to actually be with that person and greet them when they come home and reconnect what normally would happen I suspect in most cases is I come home she comes home we go get changed whatever I open up the paper and read it drink a cup of coffee she's fiddling around doing something and the next thing you know it's nine o'clock in time to go to bed and the whole evening has been like a waste well I mean if you think about the mug and couple today the mug and couple comes home and the first thing they do is check their email yeah they check their email like you know we're old enough that we can remember at least if it didn't happen in our own homes remember it in the media that dad came home and he kissed mom and mom kissed dad yeah now they come home and check their email the first thing is they get out of bed and they check their email yeah right now maybe they even check their Twitter right so you know you have to really think that again all this communication very little connection yeah right and so and more like it's an infinite amount of communication well maybe that's the balance lots and lots and lots of communication little little little little connection right maybe you got to have less communication and more connection right and so that's why you know it's very important to take that time you know I noticed this last week and this is very much not as in our relationship but I noticed last week after we finished teaching a program we both pretty fried it was the the next day and you know it's our programs some of our programs are five days long and the hours are long and it's pretty intense and we're pretty tired at the end of it right and so we had a day off and we actually were not feeling particularly well we had a bit of a cold and we're sitting around and just kind of watching the telly and then a break came on and we started talking in the commercial and stopped with the commercial and then I went oh I actually told her whoa and my mission says what and I said you see what we just did actually was me who did it and she said what and I said hold on a second I turned the TV off and I said I'm sorry I stopped you talking because we were watching the TV and the commercial was over and I said you know do I really give a crap about a program now I give a crap about you yes and typically that's how people communicate now yeah so even the families are communicating in two-minute sound bites in a commercial break yeah so we need to stop and start connecting you know even we have an online community of people who are a conscious community and it's a it's a learning community itself for learning but it's not more than anything for to assist people in staying connected right not just communicating but stay connected we'd like many people and one of the things I'm constantly on them about is make sure you're connecting with the other person make sure you reach out to new people not to add friends to your list like it's Facebook and you notice this right status who I've got 5,000 friends but instead so that you are actually having meaningful conversation is connecting so there you just brought up a great point if you had 5,000 friends and they came over for a party well how many of them could you actually have a connecting type of conversation with it's just not gonna happen I mean if you look you look at how many friends you have on Facebook if you're on Facebook have a look on there and first of all chill through and check and ask yourself only you met eyeball the eyeball and I'll bet it's a fraction oh absolutely a fraction of the people and then you say okay of the people you've met eyeball the eyeball just them so let's say you're 5,000 and other ones you've met eyeball eyeball you're 50 which is probably pretty high you got 50 how many of them could you actually have a conversation with a really in-depth enjoyable conversation for 15 minutes I think you would down to 5 yeah right yeah so you realize out of 5,000 you've got maybe five people so what is it all about so we know we know can we have contact we have where these devices that have become a status not about connection and if we're not and so what I'm challenging every one of our listeners to do is to today as you listen to this I'm gonna challenge you to go I wouldn't have three meaningful conversations where you feel a connection not just words exist but a connection and I think you're gonna be challenged to do three honestly do yeah three sit down meaningful connections where it's like wow you know I came away from that feeling either inspired or enlightened or invigorated or charged or my heart was touched or it made me think about things in a deeper level that kind of feeling not oh that was kind of neat yeah you know oh that was nice good I'm glad I got to talk to John who cares right yeah so that's our challenge for all this is today I think that's a great one right the challenge for me right meaningful communication that is actually connected three of those and the other thing is to ask yourself this question who are you in primary relationship with us the big question I want you to leave a comment right to us tell us what you realize from this who have you been in your primary relationship with are you in a primary relationship with a partner if you're not in single then ask yourself well who are you in maybe you're in with your best friend maybe you're in with your mother your sister your brother maybe you're in with your dog maybe you're in with TV maybe you're in with computer and maybe just maybe you're in a primary relationship with a partner and that's how it looks on the outside but in fact you're actually in a primary relationship with your ex you're still carrying that person around or with your mom or your dad or your sibling maybe you're having some kind of an emotional affair maybe it's time to look at that now that's a challenge you want for you and with that we're gonna say goodbye if you want to know more about me dog Baron you can go to my blog which is my name D-O-V-B-A-R-O-N.com or you can go to our main site which is Baron B-A-R-O-N mastery M-A-S-T-E-R-Y.com you find out about workshops and programs and products on both of those two sites it's great being here with you and I really appreciate you listening and looking forward to your comments and from me down Baron I want to say live with courage and I'll see you next time in Scott. I still think about my primary relationship here. We'll talk to you all next time everybody. [Music] This podcast is a part of the C-suite radio network. For more top business podcasts visit c-suite radio.com
