[music] Welcome back everybody, your listening to Mind Mastery Podcast. I'm your co-host Scott Patton along with Dove Baron. Hey Scott, how's it going? Good, excellent, thanks. Awesome. So one of the things that's really a lot of fun about doing these podcasts with you is I get access to a brilliant mind and a beautiful soul on an ongoing basis. You're very kind. And that's my way of segueing into, you're going to be doing one of my favorite workshops that you do, which is first access in the near future. And of course, you'll find out about this if you listen at the time we publish it and go live. If you're listening to this six months later, I'm sure there'll be another one coming up. Well, it's interesting because we first access was the first time it was done was March 2008. Wow. And the second one will be November 2008. And really, there was never any plan to do it. It was completely decided that I just wanted to give it a go at putting it out there because at the end of, I teach all these fantastic programs. We've got attracting force. We've got quantum mind mastery, quantum soul nature singles, quantum soul nature for couples, quantum life mastery. Deep, there's all these programs. Yeah. And you know, they're intense and they're deep and they're powerful, profound and tons of tools and they're exciting. Yes, they sure are. And I do a lot, I do my very best to answer as many questions as I possibly can because it's interesting, I was just in New York at a big conference meeting with a lot of media and big TV and radio producers. And it's a real challenge for me to say what it is that I teach because there's so many areas. Right. And so at the end of those programs, not necessarily right away because I do my very best times for all of them, but they bring that question. Sure. Well, you go through it and then a week later, I'll be sitting around going, "Oh, I wonder about this or I wonder about that," which is a natural view stimulated me. Exactly. So it's a natural byproduct of that. Yeah, because we're supposed to grow, we're supposed to be stimulated, this is a very important thing of us. Right. Not to get all the answers. And every answer generates more questions. That's right. I suppose if you got the answer, you would probably would ascend and not be here anymore. Yeah. Okay. You'd be something. You'd be something, right? But you know, so there's always these questions left over. And it was, for me, it was like, okay, how can I answer as many of those questions as possible, the other reason for it was this. The people like yourself, and come and they take the program and they go away and they talk to their neighbor, their mother, their brother, their sister, their lover, whoever it is, and the person would say, what was it all about? And of course, it's too big to explain. Right. The program was dramatically profound and insightful and I learned all kinds of great things and I have no clue about it, I explain it to you. Right. So I thought, well, who better to explain it to them than me? That's true. But only in a very specific way by, because what you want to know about it, whoever you are, is different than what someone else wants to know about it. So we designed the idea for First Access. Now First Access is a program where I sit in a university theater with the audience. Everybody sits up there. We have a couple of mics and people line up to ask questions. And you can ask absolutely anything. And you were the one in March of 2009. And just thinking how fast time has flown since then, right? And as you know, the questions are many and varied. And they had gone on until midnight if you'd let them. Oh, absolutely. And it was fascinating because, as you remember, the second day is way more profound than the first day. And yet you can't miss the first day. That's right. Because it makes sense and it just sort of builds on itself. But there were questions that were deeply spiritual, deeply psychological. Some were very funny. I mean, we had a lot of laughs and I gave away a lot of tools and skills. And it's just a way for people to be able to get access to my mind and all the knowledge that I've got in a way that specifically answers the questions that they have. Well, the interesting thing is, is that most of the people when they got up and asked their question, there was half the audience, if not all of the audience, had the same question. Yeah. Right. So they almost represented the whole group. Yeah, it's one of the things that I heard, and I'm sure you heard it too, so often was when I was leaving and there was a huge lineup of people who were waiting to meet and waiting to actually film and say that they, how much they liked it. And there were so many people who said, you know, when this person got up and they said they were going to ask a question about mothers and daughters, I thought, well, this won't relate to me. And then it was like, when I answered it, they totally could see how it applied to them. That's right. So it's like everybody was, I mean, it's what we talk about. There's a field. Yeah. There's a field of energy that's built in that room. And everybody's conscious feeds into that field. And then the person gets up, becomes the speaker of the field. Yeah. And they start to speak from a place that taps into so many other people in that room. But when I'm answering, many people said, I felt like every question you answered, you were talking to me. Yeah. So I like it because, as you know, I don't work with a script in anything. Right. And this is as unscripted as you can get. Right. This is totally unscripted. And it's just like, you can ask absolutely anything. If this was MTV, it would be Dog Baron Unplugged. Unplugged. Yeah. Unplugged. No electronic health. That's right. You know, and it's been a while. So why don't you throw a couple of questions at me that will sort of give people a pre-first access idea. And as I said, the event, you know, people ask about relationships. They ask about finances. They ask about mental health. They ask about spirituality, quantum physics, you know, physical health. There's a vast range. That's all right. This is totally unscripted. So, by the way, I just put him completely on the spot. I'm sorry, his eyes roll and go, "Oh, my God." But that's good, Dad. And you get a sense of what it's really like. That's right. So my first question then, Dove, would be, will be around relationship. Okay. Because I know that you've got an amazing marriage to an amazing woman and you've been married here for substantial long. Ten years? Ten years. And I've been going through women like... Shit through a goose, right? And it's... Yeah. So my question is, what steps can I take to draw towards me? Well, okay. What I would like is to draw towards me a woman that I can spend the rest of my life with growing together and being happy with. Right. And, of course, that's a pretty general question. Right. People are single. We're looking for a bond of one. And the first answer to that is one that seems sort of almost counterintuitive, and that is, get pickier. Okay. Become very, very specific about what it is you want. And stop wasting your time, your energy, your emotional energy, your spiritual energy, your physical energy on just going out after anything. And so what I mean is get very specific about what you want. Write it down. Get absolutely clear. Find out what is absolutely non-negotiable. If it is non-negotiable for you. So you want somebody to use into health and fitness. That's non-negotiable if it is for you. What that means is it says, well, yeah, I exercise, you know, sort of expertically. That doesn't fit. For you, that's what I've got to have. If you want somebody who is spiritual, you know, then you, it says, well, kind of, you know, I'm interested in it, but really not so much. You know, that doesn't work for you. See, what happens is we pursue relationships hoping that this person will become the one, and they don't. And what you've got to be really clear on is even though the person may change because it's wonderful at the beginning, they may change, but they will revert back to that default position. And whatever it is you didn't like in the beginning, you shoved under the rug, will become a mountain by the time you're further in relationship. So first of all, absolute clarity on what it is you want. Yeah, right. And right here you say it's going through them faster. Well, you know this from business. Right. Business what they're saying is, if you want to succeed, fail faster. Yeah. In relationship, you want to succeed, fail faster. Fail faster. What that means is you don't need a third date. Right. You know, when I was single and I made up my mind and followed the same guidelines I'm giving here, I had a very simple guideline. I had my list of what it is, I wanted to add my non-negotials that were tattooed in my brain with clarity. And I would go out and I would meet with people and I would know within two dates whether to go any further. Yeah. And that's really true. I mean we know. Right. And if you don't know it's because you're lying to yourself. Yeah. If you don't know it's because you don't want to know. Just, you know, this person's got nice body parts and so you go, oh yeah, okay. But the truth of the matter is you've got to decide if there's something more important than that. And what that is is what it is you want. And people say, oh well, you know, that's not, I would be very judgmental. No. You'll be in discerning for what works for you. Yeah. Being true to yourself. I mean, honoring yourself. It's great to honor other people, honor them because of somebody out there who wants to be with that somebody who doesn't work out or is a smoker or, you know, likes to do drugs. I'm not saying anything's wrong or bad. If that's what you want, terrific. But if it's not what you want, don't negotiate with yourself. It's the first and foremost thing. Okay. Can I interrupt you for a second? Absolutely. So I have a tendency to be a bit of a people pleaser. Okay. So what I'd like to do is for you to model date two, that person is not the right person. How would you say that to them? I'm on date two. And, you know, of course we don't want to be mean to anybody. That's right. But by date two, you will know. You will have found out what's not going to work for you. Right. And the first thing I would ask is, I want to find out if they're clear. Mm. So something online is it, you know, how would you ask that? I would say, it's what we'll call a Sally. Sally, it's your second date. So Sally, or Bob, whoever it is today. Yeah. Which gender you are. No, depending on what your preference is. All right. There's no agenda. All right. But, you know, it's expanded in my mind. I'm not sure I wanted to expand. But, you know, Sally, what are you looking for in a relationship? And how would you know if you've got a very powerful question? Yeah. Once that person answers, then you say, "Are you that?" All right. Am I that? You asked them. Yeah. Are you that? Oh, okay. Are you what you're looking for? Yeah. Are you what you're looking for? So I'm looking for something to use that fit and healthy. And smart. And smart. And smart with lots of money. Well, are you friend healthy? Well, I work out once every couple of weeks. Do you consider that to be fit? Well, kind of. So if a guy came along and he said he worked out once every two weeks with that bit of level of fitness you're happy with. Well, no, not really. Okay. So you have a different standard. Yes, I do. That's a big clue. All right. So you're looking for somebody who's fit and healthy, but you're not really there yourself. You're looking for somebody who is wealthy or well off. How are you doing financially? Well, you know, I'm in the toilet financially. Fairly make my rent. Fairly make my rent. Well, you know, first of all, if you're not in that place, you're not resonating to attract that. Right. And what's more is if that's what you want. You're eating congruence. There's this kind of problem. Massive internal incongruence. Right. There's also an external incongruence. Right. Because let's say I know I'm dating Sally. Yeah. And I am in great shape. And I have got plenty of money. And I don't worry about paying the rent. Yeah. And I get into relationship with this person. I'm just going to resent the heck out of them. Mm-hmm. Because I've been scammed. Right. It's not going to fit. Yeah. So if you want something, the first and foremost is are you it? So that's the question I would ask. So what do you want? How do you know if you got it? No, you're it. No, you're it. Right. Because like attracts like. So if I want somebody that likes pottery, because I enjoy making pots. Right. But I haven't done it for five years, then I'm not going to be drawing that person to me at all. No. So it's like time to join a pottery plus. That's right. Get passionate about it again. Get yourself back in that place. Be the person that you want to attract. Exactly. And then, you know, if you're on the second date with this person, once they've told you what you want. If you, you know, if you're a people, please, you don't want to be harsh about it. But they've just told you what they want. You can say, well, I'm not that. I'm not that. I'm not going to be that. Right. And as much as I think you're really wonderful and attractive, and I'm all those physical, chemical things are working for me, the truth of the matter is I would be a long-term disappointment. So let's not waste either of our time. Right. It's been nice meeting you. Terrific having coffee with you. I wish you every success in finding the person you're looking for. Done. And the story. And the story. And it's the reason I had a very strong guideline for myself when I was single, not always when I was single, but in the later years before I met my wife, in the last two years before I met my wife, I got very, very, very clear about what it is that I wanted. And I went through the process, I just explained to you. And I had a guideline. And seeing anybody else who'd have it was mine, and it worked for me. And that guideline was real simple. No kissing, no touching on the first two dates. Now people go, "Oh yeah, sure you did." Honestly, I did. Yeah. I did. And they said, "Why?" I said, "Would you kiss or touch in an affectionate manner somebody walked in your office for an interview?" No. No. Would you do it on the second one? No. But maybe after you've hired them and you feel that they're a good fit for the company, you might hug them. Yeah. Right. I wanted to treat me with that level of respect. And I knew that if I started kissing and being physically affectionate with somebody, I'm going to get hooked. Well, I had a friend tell me once that there's a part of our brain that when we are attracted to someone of the opposite sex and holding their hands or kissing them, turns off. And it's a very discerning, a critical function. And so this is why people will meet someone and go, "Oh, they're perfect for me." And then six months later, wake up and go, "What have I been doing?" Exactly. After six months, it turns back on. Well, the frontal lobe of the brain is where we do most about cognitive processing. And what happens is there's a bunch of chemicals that are released in the brain during physical attraction. Those last no more than 18 months. No more than 18 months. That's why most people really should fall apart within two years. Right. All they get married within two years. That's interesting, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, you know, how many times have you heard people say, "Well, you know, we're doing so well, so we decided that we're going to get engaged." And I'm like, "Are you smoking something?" Mm-hmm. And the relationship's not working out, so you're going to get married? Yeah. Well, how about you? You're not doing very well. We're going to buy a house. Yeah. Oh, we're going to have a child. Oh, my God. You know? So, the thing to do is to understand that that chemistry is actually, you're stoned. You are smoking a big fat one with that chemistry. The best promising in the world is between your ears. That's right. Right. So, you're actually high for that period of time. So, one of the ways to reduce that high is to not have the physical touch on the kissing because that releases those chemicals. Not until you've decided, "Yeah, this is a person that I really want to be with." Or at least I'm interested in going further with. I've done enough inquiry to know. From a, I've thought about this as opposed to a chemical reaction by brain. And, you know, the truth of the matter is that you want to be in a relationship whether that's a business relationship or whether that's a sexual, spousal, whatever kind of relationship. You want to be in a relationship with a very solid, grounded head and a very solid, grounded heart. Right. And what happens is most people operate out of one or the other. So, you know, "Well, I've done the analysis, and this is the right person for me." Although, I'm not sexually attracted to this person at all. Right. And so you had that happen to me. Yeah. Right. And how often have we met the right person and gone, "What's wrong with me?" Like, "I don't find this person attractive at all, but they're so right for me." Right. Because you've got to have the other piece too. Yeah. And then we have people who go the other way. So they have this massive, like, you know, they have the chemicals and they just become openhearted with that person. But they're not grounded at all. They've never looked at it and said, you know, "Is this somebody who's going to the same place as I am?" Right. Because they're heading to New York, but I want to go to London. Right. So it's completely paying attention to both of those two things. And that is one of the great keys in finding the right person. Is we are, you know, we're a very sexual time in our lives, you know, in this, in the culture, in the world at this point. You know, we're more open to all those things. Let me tend to, you know, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having sex with people. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with affection. I'm not approved by anybody who knows me, tell you I'm not anything but approved, but at the same time. If you're jumping from the wrong person to the wrong person to the wrong person, maybe try a little different strategy. Well, if you're jumping on the wrong person and then jumping on the wrong person, which is a lot of what happens, you know, maybe you want to try a different strategy. Right. And that's all I'm suggesting. Try a different strategy, stop for a while, pay attention, and notice what's happening in you. Because as we've talked about many times, most people don't choose their partners, they get chosen. That's very true. Somebody comes along and says, "I think you're great." And they go, "Okay, I'm in a relationship." Yeah, "I want you, I'm in." Yeah, so, okay, and we're so emotionally desperate that we get in, rather than stopping and going, "That's really great." And I'm really flattered by that, and that feels terrific because I want the affection and the love, but the truth is, it doesn't fit. And, you know, my saying is this, the relationship is a room big enough for two people. And if you don't make room for another person in there, you get all in land, so you hold them to the last relationship, or you hold them to this crappy one, for the fifth date and you know it's not right. And that's the same person you're with three years later. Come on. Yeah. Make room for the right person. And allow them to make room for the right person for them. You remind me of a friend of mine who couldn't find the guy that she wanted, right? And one of her friends said, "Well, if you did find him, where could he fit into your life? You're so busy doing this, this, this, and look at your home. There's no room for any guy to move in with you even, right? So she cleaned out half her closet, she cleaned out all this stuff, and she says, "Now, there's room in my life for a guy." And like within a month, found this guy and madly in love and I think to this day they're still together, right? You've got to, you know, you've got to make space. You've got to make space not only for another person, you've got to make space for yourself. Not for your busyness, that's different, but for yourself. For your own true desires of what it really is you want. Not for what it is you're supposed to want. Right. You've got to make room for you before you can make room for anybody else. Yeah, that's cool. Well, it's been great being here again, it's good to be back on a regular basis. And you shut me up, they're giving me all these things to think about. Yeah, I wanted to cut it off while still mowing around in the rain. So thank you very much, Doug, this has been great, I'm so pleased that I have access to you and everybody else out there. And if they wanted to get access, if you want to get more access to me, to my programs, my books, audios, videos, go to baronmastery.com B-A-R-O-N-M-A-S-T-E-R-Y.com And you can find out all about me, my programs including First Access and including Quantum Soulmates by going to... Great. Talk to y'all soon, everybody. Bye-bye, thanks for buying. Bye-bye, thanks for buying. Bye-bye, thanks for buying. Bye-bye, thanks for buying. Bye-bye, thanks for buying. This podcast is a part of the C-Sweet Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit c-sweetradio.com (whooshing)
