The Startling Truth Behind Value: Who Control's It?
Managing Your Own Self-Worth
How do you assess your value? Whether it’s for a romantic relationship, a leadership role, etc.: the value you place upon yourself will greatly impact your life!
“We have to decide the value of anything, but what we do is we give our value away… so the truth of the matter is, anything is only worth what we are willing to pay for it. Now when we talk about personal value, we let other people set our value, and this is something we are trained to do from being very early children.“
“You can not let anyone else set the value. You have got to know what the value is for everything you do, and you’ve got to know the value of yourself.”
In this episode of the Mind Mastery Podcast, Dov Baron is joined by guests: Scott Paton and Shane Jeremy James as they discuss self value and giving your value away.
James is the founder of Shane Jeremy Media, Branding Talent and Actions of Compassion. In addition to being a critically acclaimed author, he is a board member of the of Volken Foundation and has developed numerous programs and coached thousands of marketers world-wide on leadership and marketing.
Paton, an executive producer and co-host for over 35 podcasts, is an internationally renowned speaker and currently teaches courses in strategy, management, relationships and more for students in over 190 countries via Udemy. In addition, he is currently a podcaster with Life Enthusiast.
To find out more about Shane Jeremy James: https://www.facebook.com/shanejeremyjames
To hear more about his books: http://amzn.to/2BZZetS
To find out more about Scott Paton: https://www.facebook.com/scottapaton
"I trust that you found this episode valuable, if so, feel free to send this to your friends. I eagerly anticipate your feedback and comments.
Please share, like and comment below!
I created the Authentic Leadership Matrix after a lot of experience and research. One of the questions I'm asked often is what authentic leadership is and how do we define it. As a result, I created the matrix. It splits what leadership is into five separate categories. So, that you can take a clear look at how you perform in each of the five main areas that are required for you to become a world class authentic leader. The process takes you through each category simply with yes or no questions. http://matrix.fullmontyleadership.com/
With gratitude, Dõv Baron
“In 2015, Dov Baron was cited by Inc Magazine as one of the Top 100 Leadership Speaker to book for your next conference! He speaks internationally and is The Leading Authority on Next-Gen Authentic Leadership and creating a Culture of Fiercely Loyal Leaders. FullMontyLeadership.com
P.S. To get your hands on Dov Baron’s new book “Fiercely Loyal” How High Performing Companies Develop and Retain Top Talent, go take a look here http://fiercelyloyalbook.com and get your FREE: How to instantly bond any team infographic”
To contact: Dov Baron International, and Authentic Paragon Alliance INC. Contact Authentic Paragon Alliance at +1 778 397 7717 http://FullMontyLeadership.com”
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[music] Welcome to the Mind Mastery podcast. Unlock the secrets to your mind and get everything you ever want to. Let's join our host, Dump Baron, Scott Patton and change the game. [music] Hello everybody, you're listening to the Mind Mastery podcast. I'm Nicole who's Scott Patton, I'm the dog Baron. How you doing today, Dump? Excellent, thank you Scott. Great to be you. Happy to be here and happy to get into this again. Awesome. But we've been going through a lot of the topics that came out of first access. And what we've decided to do for the next month or two is keep them a little bit shorter, get right into one topic so that we can cover them in a little bit more depth and give everybody kind of one thing to think about and one thing to kind of work on for the coming week. Because our plan is to put these out every week, right? Yeah, that's a great idea because as we talked about, even in the last couple, which we're a little more hot hitting and a little more directing, which I actually said to people, I want to give you homework. That's right. When you go away and think about this and play it and see how it works in your life and maybe write some notes in your journal. And I think that that's a good sort of send-off point for what it is we're going to do over the next little while, which is let's get into a specific question subject and then give our listeners, you guys who are listening, a place of which to dig in so that you can really see, okay, I might apply this into my life because we talked about, in a previous one, in one of the most recent ones, about the three most dangerous words that are, "I know that." And if not, I challenge you to say, "Well, do I really know it?" And if you do, you're really applying it. And so, doing these sections this way, we're going to give you a chance to do that, even if your mind kicks in with, "I know that," is to stop and say, "Well, do I." Let me listen to that, because only one subject, "Do I really, am I really applying it? Am I applying it as much that I need to apply it to take my life to where I need to go?" So, I think it's a great gift for you. And we want this to be more of a dialogue, too, or an interactive exercise. So, as you're coming up with your insights and aha, as I oftentimes dov, if you're advanced, you will ask people to share what did they learn, what were their aha moments. And of course, it's really hard for you to talk to your iPod or your car radio or your computer and say, "Aha, this is what I got." And for us to actually hear it, right? Well, you can do that. We're not going to hear it. And we really like to get that feedback. So, if you go to www.freemindmasterypodcast.com, that's www.freemindmasterypodcast.com, you can leave comments. And if you really want to take action, then leave a comment there about what you got out of the particular podcast episode that you listened to and what you're going to do, and you can even share some of your homework if you want. But one of the things about this, and you know, you've heard me say this a lot of events, is the moment you share it, you know, by getting on there and writing in your comments and sharing it with us, the moment you do that, you begin to integrate it into your own being. Otherwise, it's just information swimming around in your brain. But when you actually make a comment on it, one of the things that we all know is that as soon as you start talking about it, you take it to a deeper level. You're going to be like, "Oh, never thought about that." And that means this. So, give us your feedback. Let's write in your comments. We're very excited to hear them. We always like hearing them. And it allows you to get a deeper understanding of what it is you've learned. Right. So, one of the things that you spoke about at first access that really struck me was when you talked about giving your value away. Because I know oftentimes when I'm dealing in business, I'm not probably valuing myself as highly as I should be. And I suspect that I'm not alone. [laughter] Six thousand million people. You are the only one! I'm the only one! But under values is what I do. Right. But I thought what you said about it was very, very profound. And I'd like to get into it a little more depth. How does anyone assess their value? How do we decide what the value is of anything? I mean, if you think about it, when you go into a store, you know, wherever it is, there's a price on the item and we pay that price. And what that means is we've assessed the value at whatever was on the ticket. Yeah. Now, it's interesting because that's a first world concept. If you go to the second world or the third world and you go to those places, then there's a price on something. It doesn't mean anything. That's the starting point. Right. Right. So... You end up negotiating. Then you negotiate on that. Now, if you had the experience, which I know you have and I certainly have had, and I'm sure that many of you listening in have had, you will know that if you're from a first world country, that you'll go to one of those countries and they'll say five whatever it is, you know, whatever the local currency is. And if you're not particularly familiar with that, you'll just pay the five. Mm-hmm. And then you can leave and find out a way that there was a barter system in place and you could have traded and bought and been all... and be upset about it. I'll tell you a great story about it. When I was in Bali, not many years ago, several decades ago, I was in Bali and I was there traveling and I was going back into Australia and realized I had way too much stuff for the suitcase that I had with me and the backpack that I had with me. And so there was another guy who was there in English following him and I were chatting and he was going to go down to the area where the shops were and he was going to buy a bag. So he came back with this, what I didn't realize at the time, was a hockey bag. It wasn't... it was made of fabric, it was all bright colors, it was kind of funky. And I said, "How much did you pay for that?" And he said, "Sixteen dollars." And I said, "Wow, that's great." And he goes, "Yeah, they wanted 30, but I got the 16 and he was really, really happy." And I said, "Yeah, I need one of those. I'm going to get one of those." And he said, "Yeah, okay." And he said, "Well, so I got another few days. I'll get one on my last day." He was living on the same day I was. So on my last day, I went up to do an area and found one of these bags and started doing my bargaining and et cetera, et cetera. The bargain moved one store, they wanted a price and went to another store. A few stalls down, the bargain daughter and got different price. And then went back to the first one and said, "Well, he's going to sell me for this much." And went away. Anyway, I came back to the also area where I was staying. And so my buddy, he says, "Oh, you got one of those." And I said, "Yeah." And he says, "You know, these kind of all smart asked about it." And I said, "Did you get it for $16 thinking that he got a great deal?" And I said, "No." He goes, "Couldn't get a deal to get his mine, huh?" And I said, "Yeah, something like that." And he goes, "Well, how much did you pay?" And I said, "It doesn't matter. How much did you pay?" "It doesn't matter. How much did you pay?" I said, "It paid twelve bucks." And he was mad. And I said, "What are you mad about?" Like, "You can see this is tough." And I said, "Why are you pissed off?" And he said, "They ripped me off." And he said, "How did they rip you off?" But until this very moment, you felt like you got a deal. The price was $30. You paid $16 because that was the value that you set it at. And you felt like you got a good deal because you set a value of that. I didn't set the value of $16. I set the value at $12. And that's how it is with our lives. We have to decide the value of anything. But what we do is we give our value away. See, what that guy did is he gave his value away to me and to the store owner. Right, that's why it was mad. That's why he was upset. Rather than letting the value be set by himself. So the truth of the matter is anything is only worth what we are willing to pay for it. Now, when we talk about personal value, we let other people set our value. And this is something we are trained to do from being very early children. I mean, you think about, you know, you're a little boy, you're a little girl, you do something and you look at me and you go, "Was I a good boy? Was I a good girl?" And if you get the pat in the head, that says yes and your value is set in that moment. And what happens with that then is that value is depreciating over time. So if you clean your room, and then you clean your room again, and you sit with a good boy and your mom says, "Yes, you were getting another pat in your head." And you do that six, seven, eight, nine, ten times in a row. You don't get the pat in your head. So now you go, "Ooh, okay, well I better make my bed too." Well, they go, "Oh, yeah, you made your bed any cleaner in the pat in the head." But it's always a depreciating value because you're always looking outside for value. And what we need to do is to look inside for value. We give our value away constantly. And this is how, as we talked about in previous podcasts, this is how we end up building walls, and this is how we end up with no boundaries. When you set your own value, you set your own boundaries. So when somebody comes to you and says, "Well, I only think it's worth this." Well, I know what it's worth. So somebody comes to me and says, "Well, I'll put it." I mean, how do people do this? I respect them having the balls to do it. To use a psychological term. Some people say, "Well, you know, I want to do your workshop, but I think it's only worth this." And I will look at them and say, "You know, I think it's fantastic that you actually know what you think it's worth." For a couple of reasons. One is that you have the balls to say it. And two, in that you set a value for something you've now attended. That's fantastic. I don't know how you do that. That's pretty great. And whichever psychic school you went to, send me that notes and I'll go along too. Because I don't know how you assess that value without achieving it, going through it. But my point is you cannot let anyone else set the value. You've got to know what the value is for everything you do. And you've got to know the value of yourself, but we give that value away. And if you think about it, when we fall in love, what do we do? We fall in love. And this is a big psychological trigger here. What we do is we fall in love with somebody who values us more than ourselves. And so falling in love with us. You meet someone who can see things in you. You have refused to see in yourself. And you fall in love with, they set your value high. And why do you get hurt in a relationship? Because they set it low. They lowered that value. You've got it. Yeah, I'm worth a million bucks today, and she loves me. And then tomorrow she kicks me out of the house, and I'm worth zero. Exactly. And so I feel like a million bucks yesterday, I feel like nothing today. You're the greatest man on the Earth. Oh, you're so understanding, you're so compassionate, you're so sensitive. You're the greatest thing. Multi-million dollar value. You've used dollars, of course. And then tomorrow you left the toilet seat up. Yeah. And you're a complete jerk and you're bankrupt. So we let others set our value. That sets up an emotional roller coaster. Absolutely. And by constantly letting other people set our value, we are always on that roller coaster. So my challenge to our listeners is take a look at where you have given your value to others, let them set it, let them decide, and take a look at where you've set your own. And I guarantee you, if you have genuinely consciously set your own value, that's the area of your life you're most happy with. And if you've let others set your value, it's the area where you are most unhappy. Now in a moment, no, I'll tell you what, I'm not going to go there because it'll take too long. In our next podcast, we'll do it next time. I want to talk about passion. All right, because passion ties in with this and live in a life of passion. We need to stop and pay attention to what value we've given ourselves. So that's my question for you as your homework. And give us your feedback on that because we are listening. What value have you set for yourself relationally? Because I'll tell you something, you know, we talked in early podcasts about attraction. With a value you have set upon yourself determines what it is you cannot cannot attract to yourself. And if you've decided that you are valueless in relationship, you are going to attract crappy relationships. If you've decided that you are valueless as a person, you're going to attract crap in your life, period. So take a look at that. Take a look at your own value, and here's a big, huge clue for you. Think back to your childhood. What value was set for you by your primary caregivers and by the people closest to you? Did your mother used to look at you and tell you you could do everything? You could do absolutely anything if you put your mind to it. But what's the central message that you were a pain in the butt and a big problem? Because that set your value. Did your dad look at you and say I'm really proud of you? You're amazing human being, and you can do absolutely anything. But did your father tell you, I'm busy, get out of the way, leave me alone? Those statements set our value, and those are just two examples. Primary caregivers, these grandparents, those uncles, those aunts, those peers, these teachers. Each one of these people would give our value to. What's wonderful to understand is you can reclaim your value and determine it for yourself. We look forward to hearing your feedback. That's awesome. So, if somebody wants to know more about the programs that you offer, where should they go? You can go to Baron, B-A-R-O-N, that's a single law, so BaronMasteryM-A-S-T-E-R-Y.com. BaronMastery.com, and you can find out all about the different programs that we offer in a wide variety of subjects, really covering all the aspects of life. Whether that's your mind, your emotions, your finances, your relationships, and your health. Awesome. So, as you've gone through this homework and this process, head over to www.freemindmasterypodcast.com and let us know what happened with you. Let us know what your aha moments are, what your goals are, a goal that you've got, and what you plan on why you wanted to do that goal. Yeah, because we really are listening. We're excited to hear your feedback. That's right. So, you've been listening to the MindMastery podcast with Scott Patton, Doug Baron, and look forward to getting the feedback from you, hear how things are going, and see you next time. Bye. Thanks. [Music] This podcast is a part of the C-Sweet Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit c-sweetradio.com.
