Northside Church - Sydney
New Series: Life's Too Short – Week 2: To Be Selfish
You're listening to another great message from Northside Community Church. Well when you talk about selfishness, it would have to be this generation, wouldn't it? Him, yeah. I mean like we're represented here, Gen Wise and what are they being called? Look at what Paul Bengala, an American journalist. Look what he wrote about this generation, bear with me Michael, he used, look at the words he uses to describe them, the most self-centered, self-seeking, self-interested, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-aggrandizing or grandizing generation in American history, harsh words. But you know what, he's talking about a generation, he's not talking about this generation, he's actually talking about my generation. He's talking about baby boomers. And it's in an article that was written in the year 2000, and at that time, he said that there were 75 million baby boomers in America, that people born between 1946 and 1964, do your calculations, where do you fit in? And he wrote this article and said there were 75 million baby boomers in America and he said they have enormous consumer spending power, a great deal of influence that he was writing a whole thing about how that generation was and is characterized by a lot of selfishness. Now if you're, you might want to sort of take me up on that, but look, I got into thinking about this week, look, it's true, look in the 60s, there were so many new revolutions taking place and so many freedoms being established, and I mean, it was part of our culture musically. I'll just give you two examples, and Nick Haddon, who's a rock enthusiast, he probably could sing these actually, Eric Burden and the Animals released a song called It's My Life. It's my life and I'll do what I want. It's my mind and I'll think what I want, we used to go and have sing in this stuff, you know? Now I wonder how parents were going great early, you know, which very, the who produced a song called My Generation, My Generation. People try to put us down just because we get around, oh look, you know, there was depth in those words, there was meaning, why don't you all fade away? We may get, second service, Nick, you got for this? We may get you to sing a few bars of this, it's fantastic. Look, you know what, it's just good, it's good to remind ourselves that, you know, like every generation has its particular characteristics, and it seems like when you get to the middle years of your generation, either the middle or the senior years, you conveniently forget about a lot of the things that characterized the youth of your generation. I think that's certainly true is a lot's been written about the selfishness of baby boomers as well as the selfishness and the entitlement of Gen Y, we're not going to go into that today. But look, guys, here's the point. It would seem that selfishness and self-centeredness, they were issues in the Philippian church. When Paul wrote letters to the churches, he nearly always included references to events that were current, and the fact that he picks up on this gives us an indication that these might have been problems or factors in the Philippian church. Let's see, say, in the second chapter, look at this, second chapter, and second chapter verse two, look at this, "Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being in one spirit and purpose, do nothing out of selfish ambition," there you go, "or vain conceit, but in humility, consider yourselves better," or rather consider others better than yourselves. Now, guys, this is not a call for self-denigration, it's not a call for self-abasement, it's Paul's rather extreme way of saying, "Look, you're preferential, your unselfish attitude to others should be so strong, so pronounced that it could look like, it could look like you actually regard others as superior to yourself." Now, doubtless the Philippians like us would have considered that to be a very big ask. Whoa, that's heavy. The Paul was given to talking in extremes when he wanted to make a point, and in this instance, he's trying to emphasize the crucial importance of strong, healthy relationships within the body of Christ. He's saying that the greatest threat to health and harmony in relationships is selfishness, that's the greatest threat. Have you ever thought about that? Can you get your head around that? That's why we're looking at this passage this morning at this scene, the greatest threat to relationships right across the board, like that's the body of Christ, is selfishness. In other words, our failure to consider the needs and the rights of others, the eminent American preacher Tim Keller, he actually agrees with this in his book The Gospel of Life. He writes, "The main enemy in relationships is our selfishness." He says, "This culture appears to be amplified in the West, especially where the me mentality of pursuing self-interest and self-fulfillment is widely seen and accepted." He goes on to say, "While it is unnatural, unnatural for us to think of the needs of others first, it is paradoxically the only way we will be happy and fulfilled." Now, this is not just the theological perspective of a very learned man, the Bible. The Bible is full of evidence. The backs up the idea of selfishness being the number one enemy when it comes to the preservation and the maintenance of relationships. James 4-1, "Where do these fights and quarrels among you come from?" says James. "They come from your selfish desires that are at war within your bodies." He attributes all conflict to selfishness. And of course, it was Jesus who said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." He also said, "Those who save their life will lose it. Those who lose their life for my sake will find it." He made so many references to the positives of being selfless. Our Lord knew the inherent danger of selfishness, that the debilitating effect that it can have on the human soul. So the assertion we're making today, loud and clear as part of this series, is this, "Life's too short to be selfish," because life's about relationships and effectiveness in this area will largely depend on our willingness to give and not always to take. And when we think about our natural inclination towards selfishness, it certainly prompts the question, "Is this nature or is it nurture? Are we born this way or is it something that we learn as a kind of survival technique?" Well, I think the short answer to that, with the Bible's teaching on original sin, and the fact that most parents will say, "You've got to learn to share at least a thousand times before a child turns five." That's not a real statistic, by the way, just a feeling that I had. I mean, you'd have to say that, really, this inclination, it's pretty clear, selfishness is built deep within our sinful nature. It's part of the fall. It's part of who we are. You see it with little kids, you know? That's mine. They don't learn this. This is just part of who we are. You see, strong needs within the human heart give rise to various forms of selfishness. Many of them subtle, many of them low-key, but all with the potential to fracture relationships. And that's one of the worst things that can happen within the body of Christ, when there's a fracturing of relationship because it negates everything else that we're all about as Christians. But it's also true in other areas of our world. You see, some people have the need for power, the need for power. The greatest fear of somebody with the need for power is humiliation. That's their greatest fear. And so to avoid that happening, they'll sometimes go to any links to ensure they retain a sense of power, including the selfish exploitation and manipulation of people. And then there are some people who have the need for approval. And their greatest need is, or their greatest fear, rather, is rejection. If you have a strong need for approval, then rejection is your nightmare. And to avoid this feeling, sometimes people will selfishly and insensitively maneuver their way into the lives of others, with all sorts of promises, undertakings, many of which end in tears. And then there are people with the need for comfort. And if that's a strong driver of life for you or for me, then the thing we're very resistant to is demands. People whose main need is comfort, a very resistant to demands, commitment. It's very prevalent in church life. Look, I've done my bit. You know, hey, I've served on um-thing committees. I've been involved in so many roles. I've given a small fortune to the church. I just want to push back and just want to take it easy for a little while. And in some cases, it's quite valid to say that. And concessions need to be made and adjustments need to be made in terms of people's roles and so on. But at the bottom line, it's a selfish attitude because it puts enormous pressure on others to serve, to participate, to give. That's why in a church like Northside, we're always pleading for people to get on board with service and they get on board in ministry because we want to kind of spread the range of gifts and the range or spread the number of people around us evenly and as fairly as we possibly can and let others, as many as possible experience the joys of service. And then there are people with a need to control. I'm sure that wouldn't be anybody here. But these people, if you've got a need to control, your greatest fear is uncertainty. People with a need to control don't like spontaneity. They don't like surprises because it's out of their control. They can't control that. And sometimes people in this situation will put others, those around them, put them down. Try to decrease their level of self-confidence and self-esteem to make the people more compliant, more controllable. Now, you may well be looking down that list and thinking, "Hang on, I know people like that. I work for people like that. I live with someone like that." That's not a personal testimony. That's just the same what you might be thinking. In our worst moments, maybe we are people like some of those. Paul's acutely aware of this aspect of the human condition. And here in Philippians 2, he provides the answer, "At least for those within the body of Christ." Those who are being renewed, transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit. He says, "Here's the answer." It's in verse 1. Look at this. "Let this mind," I'm drawing on the KJV, the King James Version. It's beautifully put, "let this mind be in you," which was also in Christ Jesus, who although in the form of God thought it not robbery to be equal with God. As far as Paul is concerned, any hope of transformation from selfishness to selflessness begins with the renewal of our mind. He talks a lot about that in his writings, renew your mind, and here it is in Philippians. "Let this mind be in you," this mind of Christ. The good news really puts it well here, verses 5 to 8, listen to this, says, "The attitude you should have is the one that Christ Jesus had. He always had the nature of God, but did not think that by force he should try to remain equal with God. Instead of this of his own free will, he gave up all that he had, took on the nature of a servant, became like a human being, appeared in human likeness, was humble, walked the path of obedience all the way to death, his death on the cross." And when Paul talks about Jesus giving up all that he had, the actual Greek word here, of course, as many of you know, is the word konosis, konosis, which means to empty. There's a big area of theological study with some of you have been involved in called the konotic theory, the whole thing of Jesus emptying himself to become a person, to become a human, emptying himself of his position, his rights, and his privileges in the heavenly realm. All of this to be the Messiah, the Savior of the world. And we look at Jesus Christ as the greatest example of selflessness in history, of course, the greatest example. That's what it means to have the mind of Christ. But like we ask, obviously, I mean, how are you going to get this level? How do you achieve this level of spiritual consciousness, this side of heaven? And the short answer is we don't, not in its pure form. But the good news is we do make progress. And the life that's being renewed by Jesus Christ on a daily basis, the life of the person who's walking with him, who's actively seeking to be a follower, a disciple, that life progressively is becoming more Christ-like. That's the whole idea of Christian maturity. The answer, of course, is to invite Jesus Christ into our lives on a daily basis in a fresh way, to acknowledge that the work of the Holy Spirit in this area will be progressive. It will be step by step. It will be over a period of time. It will certainly involve a heightened awareness, heightened awareness of how we act, how we speak in the daily situations of life. It will be as practical as the old adage. And I came across this just the other week what's your thoughts? They become your words. What's your words? They become your actions. What's your actions? They become your habits. What's your habits? They become your character. What's your character because it becomes your destiny? I mean, it gets down to this kind of decision on a daily basis, actions, thoughts, words. There's no short, no short cuts here. In an earthly physical sense, among the closest relationships we can have with another person is in the context of marriage. What is marriage? In its purest form, it's a beautiful self-giving at a number of levels. It's emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental intimacy. That's marriage. And for marriage to be successful, for a marriage to be strong, there needs to be on both parties, on the part of both people, high levels of selflessness and low levels of selfishness. That's the only way it's going to really work in the long term. When I do weddings these days, and this will be a refresher for some of the couples in the church who I've married, when I do weddings, I usually reflect back on some of the changes that I've seen in marriage over the years. I've done a lot of weddings, hundreds of weddings over many years, and I've seen some of the changes. One of the changes in the area is in the area of pre-nuptial contracts. They might have been around when I started marrying people, but they might have been around in the Hollywood set or the people with lots of money. But they were just unheard of in the general population. But it goes now, not uncommon at all. And I talk about marriage not as a contract, but as a covenant. I mean, there are certain differences, big differences between a contract and a covenant. A contract when you think about it is based on distrust. You've got to get it all laid out, all there in black and white, get people to sign it because you really are not too sure if they're going to fulfill their side of the bargain. So you've got to get it down on paper. It's kind of built on distrust in the sense, whereas a covenant is built on trust. A covenant relationship is not relying on legal rights. It's a self-giving out of a out of a sense of loving responsibility. The contract says, "What's mine is mine?" The covenant says, "What's mine is yours." A covenantal relationship is born out of a deep desire to ensure the happiness, the growth, the safety, the nurture of the other party. It's about giving, not taking. It's what can I give to the relationship, not what can I take from it. It's about investment, not about exploitation. It's about molding, not manipulation. It's about love and loyalty, not about legalities and liabilities. And of course, the Bible draws a very strong comparison between the relationship Jesus has with the church and the relationship that needs to exist in a marriage. And we know that Jesus Christ, what did He do for the church? He died for it. Marriage is such a powerful example of how selflessness is meant to work. Because if that's how both parties approach the challenges of marriage, and there are a lot of challenges, then both win. If both are wanting to give without restraint to the relationship, both win, that's a great marriage. And if my giving to my partner is reciprocated, or rather, then I get a great affirmation and a great confirmation of her love for me. A quote from Tim Keller as we move to a close. He says this, "The gospel message both humbles and lifts up the believer at the same time. It teaches we are indeed self-centered sinners by nature, but also it fills us with more love and affirmation than we could ever imagine." There's the contrast. Yes, we need to acknowledge that we are by nature, sinful people. But then the result of that is getting incredible affirmation and love and confirmation from God that we are His children. Guys, life's too short to be selfish, because life's about relationships. And life's too short not to experience the abundant, selfless love of God in our lives. In my experience, it's the greatest source of motivation for the selfless life. Response to what Jesus Christ has done for us. Have you experienced that love in your life? Are you experiencing it on a daily basis? Is it helping you to be increasingly a selfless person? One of the greatest problems we face in the world today is selfishness. You think about it in terms of its destruction of relationships, in terms of the impact that it has on just about every one of us every day. The follower of Jesus Christ can be a beacon, a beacon of an alternative lifestyle in the context of selfishness. Yes, you will get ripped off. Yes, you will feel like you are the offended one. Yes, sometimes your wonder is it worth it? But it is being true to our calling in Jesus Christ and the experience I know of many of you and certainly of myself is that it does and can make a huge difference. We get a chance to to make a difference this week. Life's too short to be selfish, let's bow and pray.