Northside Church - Sydney
Modern Family // Week 4: Spiritual Submission
We're listening to another great message from Northside Community Church. I had an oil heater as a kid, I think I've shared this with some of you guys, as a toddler. I love this oil heater, particularly because I can take my sister's Barbie dolls and push them up against the glass and begin to melt the heads of them into the heater to get up to about the shoulders and I realized it's about time to stop because we didn't have smoke detectors in those days. And I love this thing and it was a great mystery to me because how could such flickering flames of light have so much power? There was just no connect in my two or three-year-old brain that whenever I touched the plastic upon this and that pungent smell came into my nose and there was something behind this glass that just mysteriously ate up Barbie dolls and the glow and the warmth of it of course got the better of me and I used to inch ever closer to it and ever closer to it. I used to have days where I'd lift up my shirt and bask in it and dad would always come in at the last minute and he would say son what if you do don't touch that heater, do not touch that heater and I would inch ever closer and ever closer and then I waited for that particular day when I knew he just wasn't anywhere inside and I lifted up my shirt and I went pssssss right off the front of the thing came screaming away and he chuckled to him so if you did touch the heater didn't you? Now there's there's a difference between knowing about something and knowing something right there's a difference between changing your behavior out of obligation and changing your behavior out of experience remember last week Graham was talking about is we've been walking through the book of Ephesians and Paul says throw off your old self your old way of behavior through the renewing of your mind the essence of what he was getting at is that there's a difference between knowing about the things of God and knowing the things of God there's a difference between knowing of them and being changed by them and Paul has been showing us we have to remember here that all throughout the book of Ephesians that that whenever the Bible tells you to do something whenever it tells you the what it never ever does it without telling you the why and so chapters one to three of Ephesians were all the great why that we should be living in the Christian life why we should be doing the church the God this great spiritual tsunami has had plans that have been in place since the beginning of time plans for your life and plans for my life to bring together people from all different races and ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds into this funny place called the church and form a new humanity in other words God's modern family and so that was the why then the past three weeks we've been looking at the what we've been looking at things like spiritual gifts and spiritual growth and tonight we look at the topic of spiritual submission and we'll go to a really famous passage in the Bible where it says wives submit to your husbands and here's the interesting one this what I wanted to get us to think about before we go into it tonight is that you can have all sorts of filters in your mind when you read a passage like this you can have all sorts of preconceived ideas when you read a passage like this you might already be thinking well I'm not married so this passage doesn't apply to me I'm not a slave so this passage doesn't apply to me some of you might think you're a slave in marriage but that's a whole different thing but what I'm getting at is we need to be open to some of the filters that will automatically bounce you off this passage tonight you're not going to dig into it and see where it's really coming from but here's the essence of what Paul's getting at because what's really funny when he says submit to one another he comes straight out of a passage when he talks about the Holy Spirit it's quite funny he's talking about the Holy Spirit comes right out of that and what he's really saying here is that you have you have not been touched you've not had a stomach touching experience of Christianity unless unless there is life altering permanent change in the way that you relate to other people so my question for you tonight is have you had that Islamic touching experience are you relating to people are you submitting to people in this way out of obligation or out of a life changing experience of the gospel that's where we're going tonight how you get there well we'll wait and see let's read from Ephesians chapter 1 we're going to jump around around a bit Ephesians chapter 5 verses 1 then 21 to 25 and then chapter 6 verses 6 through to 9 and says here be imitators of God therefore is dearly loved children and live a life of life just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God hopefully we're going to stitch a bit of this together tonight then it says verse 21 submit to one another out of reverence for Christ and then wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord and then it goes on to say husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself then we go into chapter 6 and it says children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right on your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth fathers do not exasperate your children instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord slaves over your earthly masters with respect and fear and with sincerity of heart just as you would obey Christ obey them not only to win their favor when their eyes on you but like slaves of Christ do the will of God from the heart so wholeheartedly as if you were serving the Lord not men because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does whether he is a slave or free and masters treat your slaves in the same way do not threaten them since you know that he who is both their master and yours is in heaven and there is no favoritism with them tonight I have to take a cantiqui tour approach to this passage anyone here been on a cantiqui tour and we have had a few we are young adults it is like the life objective of any high school student to go on a cantiqui tour now what is a cantiqui tour operator do you see you go to Europe you have all these incredible sites and you might be itching to get off the bus and you have what the cantiqui tour operator does is that they are sort of not like the Trafalgar bunch that for more the older style people who need to get sort of hand held through every site the cantiqui tour operators take you to a great city like Florence and they say here are the major sites you have got to go check out here you have got to check out here you have got to check out here you might be in France they say you have got to go to the Louvre you have got to go to the Eiffel Tower you have got to check out the sacricur here is the big picture of where it is at but the great thing about cantiqui is that it is up to you to go and explore and so therefore I have had to take a cantiqui tour approach to all these passages tonight because you could preach six or seven or eight or twenty six weeks in just these two chapters of Ephesians alone and so really some of you already you might have some burning questions around for example will I be discussing the specifics of the Bibles approach to gender roles tonight no will I be discussing twenty minutes on whether or not Ephesians chapter six is condoning slavery or not no what I'm trying to do for a sort of night is going to take you approach to say look here here are the big things that you need to go and have a look at and you need to go and have a look at that in your own time but I need to give you a bit of a frame a bit of a principle the way that the cantiqui tour operator says here are the big things make sure you're back on the bus by six o'clock or we go without you so are we ready to get into it into it here we go the cantiqui tour approach what we're seeing here is really the heart of what has been a passage has caused a lot of controversy particularly in the papers last year there was an article where the Sydney Morning Herald had seen that the Anglican church is now included in their marriage vows effectively this passage where it says that wives must submit to their husbands and Muriel Porter a Melbourne academic and lay woman who writes on the Anglican church issues said that submit was a more derogatory word than obey and had connotations of slavery she says frankly I'm horrified she said it's a very dangerous concept especially in terms of society's propensity for domestic violence and then the contrast is in this whole passage because it's got a lovely young Anglican couple sitting there on the lounge it says Stephanie and Andrew Judd from Sydney who used you used part of the new vows part of the new service when they were in January said that those who were offended by the word were not placing it in the right context I guess what they're getting at is they were saying Muriel's not wearing the 3D glasses you see you can you can go to a 3D movie and not wear the glasses right you guys ever done that you might have done if you're a cheapskate they're only a dollar but you can watch the picture in both ways can't you but it's incredibly fuzzy there's a red component and a green component and here's a funny thing when you go to a 3D movie like that both have access to the picture and both people one with the glasses and the one without can make 90% of the picture out in fact the movie can make sense and yet one has a clarity that blows their mind I mean life is coming at them and the other ones got a headache and that's what's fascinating about this passage is that that Muriel's not that got the glasses on how is it that we can read a passage why I submit to your husbands and some people namely Christians life comes out them in 3D their marriages are richer they're more joyful they're more wonderful life just comes at them and yet people on the other hand could read the word submit and they get a headache that's what Andrew and Stephanie were getting it now what are the glasses we'll get to that in a second but let's take a look at the underlying assumptions and the problem that someone like Muriel or could be someone like your friends or could be you tonight have with that statement of submission wife submit your husbands and we'll look at some of the other passages but but I'm using that word submit because we're going to look at spiritual submission tonight here's the underlying problem and I keep calling our kindergarten cop principle you know how Arnold Schwarzenegger goes in he's a kindergarten cop he's a policeman charged to look after all these children and there's a young girl Emma who has been told to go and put her toy back and sit back down on the road she stands up to the six and a half foot tall Arnold Schwarzenegger and he she she stares him right in the face and she says I'm not a policeman I'm a princess and she gets a little bit less bold I'm not a policeman I'm a princess and he says sit down and she wanders the other side of the room so quickly and that a find somehow dissolves and I think the little girl's approach to that authority from Arnold Schwarzenegger is the way that many of us approach life and the kindergarten cop principle the modern day person says I'm I'm not a policeman I'm a princess I'm who I want to be I submit to no one in other words I must be free I must be free the little girl represents the heart of what we think about I must be free and when we come to the very notion of submitting to an authority or lots of different it could be lots of different reasons some on one hand could be because there's a science what we call a scientific view of the world that there are no miracles that it's all just a bunch of atoms that there is no God and so therefore we decide our own destiny we could have the new ageistic approach which is well there are lots of miracles and they're wonderful but they're my miracles and and today I gave the universe a mental hug and all my luck came true and there are miracles if you just believe as a new age it but either way the person is saying I am my own authority I am the one who runs my own life and both are vastly different to what we see in these passages you see here's the thing submission is defined as being willing to have something cut across your will it's it's it's like in the mornings you know when the alarm goes off and it feels absolutely right that you stay in bed you want to and you feel that you should and you hit the snooze button and yet if you're under a program of submission as a nicely packed set of added ash shoes and tights could be a guy or a girl modern-day runners and you look at them and from underneath the dinner he said no I will go I will run I will do this I will submit to a higher notion of higher authority you see what are you doing why would you do that as much as it feels right as much as you don't want to do it you know that there are things things in life that that are just not good for you and and and yet you allow greater things to cut across your will you submit to them why because unconsciously or consciously you recognize we keep saying this that freedom is not the absence of restrictions but it's finding the right restrictions and submitting yourself to them I mean I could eat ice cream until the cows come home and yet I know that would be good for me in the long run you know if we're totally defined by our feelings then we don't submit ourselves to programs that are designed for who we really are we believe this principle so much about the right restrictions in our lives that we even pay people to do it for us they call personal trainers so here's the problem when people hear the words submit they come from a perspective that says I I'm only free unless I'm free of any restriction in my life I must be free and yet the biblical approach of freedom says no no no no it's not about being absolutely free it's about finding the right restrictions and placing them on your life it's allowing something to cut across your will that submission and so the problem that the modern person has is they say I want to feel free I want to feel free but I know deep down I know that if I go do with the work in the gym I know that if I stop eating the ice cream that somehow I will be shaped into something better and more wonderful and healthier and fitter we know that a principle applies we know that at some level we must submit to someone or something we know that's how it works that that's the tension that she feels so what are the what are the 3d glasses you know how 3d glasses they've got that what is it like a red lens and a green lens that's how they did it in the 80s at least before the technology was fantastic these days it's all sorts of tricky stuff but basically they project two different pictures and there's two different lenses that you need to look through in order to get the 3d picture first lens that we've got tonight is that spiritual submission first and foremost it's about getting over yourself that's how we look you know I need it all but just put your hand your eye and be right eye that's going to be your first lens there that you're going to look through you don't have to do this whole message it's okay put it over both eyes and I suddenly look a lot more attractive and get over myself yeah thanks Rebecca yeah get over yourself first one is get over you first first way into biblical submission into this 3d life is to get over yourself that's the secret that we see when it says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ it's getting over yourself it and Paul was saying that was part of the secret to marriage for me it's got to be part of the secret to my marriage because Kristin is constantly telling me to get over myself and when marriage is going stronger than ever so but chapter 5 verse 21 it says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ why I submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord then it says it in a different way chapter 6 children obey your parents in the Lord and then it says slaves obey your earthly masters with respect now before our filters start running out of control here remember it's a cantiqui approach we can't delve right down into the specifics about how this works itself out but hopefully we'll get a broad brush stroke in that way here's what the big picture I want to take us to to submit was a military term it was a military term that means to give up your rights for the common good and that's the way it is in the army right you don't go to bed when you want you don't eat when you want you don't march when you want you know walk wherever you want and the reason is because you submit yourself to a greater whole you submit yourself to a greater whole and you're part of a much bigger whole you're part of a much bigger picture and we're all going to die in from the army's perspective if you don't do that you give up your rights for the common good and so can you see the principle here the principle for because see how Paul's painting three different pictures he starts with the spirit up here he talks about the spirit up here and he says if you've got a life-changing relationship by the power of the spirit if you had a tummy touching experience of Christianity then that is going to flow down into into your marriage it's it's going to flow down into the way that you relate to your work it's going to flow down the way that you relate to your family and so really what he's done is given us a principle and he's giving us case studies and often we inject ourselves in at the case study level and not look at the principle here's the principle the principle is the principle is this you serve the needs of your spouse of your family member of your workmate before you serve your own you submit to the common good James 4 puts it this way what causes fights and quarrels among you that they come from your desires a battle within you you desire but you do not have and so you kill you covered but you cannot get what you want so you quarrel and you fight you know James is saying there is a biblical principle is that the breakdown of relationship happens when you want something and you can't have it the word in in verse two of James chapter chapter four the head owner is where we get that the word hedonistic from what he was saying there is when you have a self-pleasing life that's what causes conflict that's what causes the breakdown of relationships and so therefore James and Paul saying here in this biblical principle here is that the breakdown of relationships happen whether it's a marriage relationship whether it's a family relationship whether it's a working relationship he's saying the breakdown happens whenever your comfort in your opinions and your needs and your desires are more important than the other persons and so submission is to give up your right to that and so how do we do that what does let's get practical how does that look like what does that look like how do we do that it's like saving private Ryan Tom Hanks is captain John Miller goes on a mission to find private James Ryan who's the last surviving brother and un-american law if he's a last surviving brother they need to bring him home and so therefore he won't be killed and so captain Miller not knowing anything about this particular guy gives up his individual rights for the sake of a common good and he goes into war-torn Europe searching searching desperately on this mission to save private Ryan and eventually Miller himself gives up his life for the sake of Ryan's life really here was the choice it was it was Miller's choice and it's our choice tonight here here's how we do submission here's how we get over ourselves it's either my life for me or my life for yours it's either a choice between my life for me or my life for yours to be a Christian to be the church that's what Ephesians is talking about is to have such a bigger sense of your mission that you get over yourself to be a Christian is to be a captain John Miller it's it's to make a decision up front that you will yield that you will give up of your rights that you'll be willing to yield your comforts and your desires and your needs for the other person whatever that context might be yeah doesn't mean that there the submission means that there won't ever be arguments or conflicts in either married life or family life or church life or work life of course not you know if if I just take a side note for a sec here you know am I trying to say that the Ephesians five passage wives submit to your husband means that we take the Victorian wifey wifey approach to things yes dear now why is supposed to be this sort of submissive take whatever no no no no no you know you see you see in healthy relationship if you if you were submitting and wanting the best for the other person's needs and desires then sometimes there's tension and there's pushback because you know how the other person is feeling at the moment is is is not right maybe they want to eat a lot of ice cream in the relationship and you know that it's not just healthy for them and they're gonna argue with you that you stay should eat a lot of ice cream and you push back that that the tension within these relationships happen because the submission to one another is it's not this laissez-faire giving up it's this tension and working out but most of all James and Paul are saying you know are you arguing is there conflict is there tension because you want to win or you want to warn is because you want to hurt or you want to heal is it because you want to lord it over someone or because you want to lift them up is it because you want to prove your opinion or you want to pour out your love on the person you see what I'm coming from you've got it you've got to get over yourself for the sake of the other person the Christian life at every moment is the opportunity to choose this will I get over myself well I began to have the first half of looking in life in 3d my life for me or my life for yours well the other half let's get the other hand now and up on your left eye thank you for being so participative I'll buy you all glasses next time all right the other lens that we've got to look through life in is we need to get under God we've got to get over ourself and we've got to get under God got to get under God it's like the difference between a tightrope and flying fox see this this two if I put if I put a nice big steel wire from that top corner of the auditorium and down onto the floor there's two ways that I could cross the room right I could try my hand to tightrope walking and I'm sure I'm going to be up for a whole world of pain or I could create a flying fox and they're far easier because there there's a positional gravity and the principle here is when we come under under God it's it's not an oppression here this is not an oppression that we're talking about maybe Muriel thinks that the biblical approach is oppression and God's pushing down on us in order to submit no our choice as Christians is to decide well our journey in life particularly in relationships will it be like walking a tightrope or will it be like riding a flying fox will we choose to get underneath God one one will make the difference whether your experience will be flimsy and full of fear or whether the other one will be grounded and full of joy and so when we get underneath God this is how we do it this is what hit me this way reading through this I realize that biblical submission is not just to someone it's through someone biblical submission is not just to someone it's through someone Ephesians six chapter five says the slaves obey your earthly masters with respect and fear and with sincerity of heart just as you would obey Christ obey them not only to win their favor when their eyes on you but a slaves of Christ doing the will of God from your heart serve wholeheartedly as if you were serving the Lord not people and you see the principle again Kentucky approach this passage all of these case studies whether it be marriage whether it be family whether it be work that the principle that all these passages are saying this is that we submit to God through people we submit to God through people and it means here's what you need to do you need to look beyond the person that you were submitting yourself to you need to look beyond the person that you're submitting yourself to now here's why let's go back to the article you know what Muriel says submit was a more derogatory word than obey and it even has connotations of slavery here's the thing in submission to God the submission to God that the Bible talks about maybe the very thing that liberates you not enslaves you because we see the kindergarten cop approach we see the principle the real question that we have to ask ourselves are we really free are we really free let's look at the case studies you can be a slave to marriage sounds crazy but you could be a slave to marriage what about the husband that serves his wife out of behavioral obligation and what sort of joy what sort of fervor what sort of energies are going to be there or on the other hand what about the what about the wife that makes her husband God and then he fails her and what about the wife that is serving a man that she paints his prince charming and and just and lifts him up and he's the reason for everything you know in here I'm constantly saying to Kristen any I'm marriage but it's not where I wanted to go without even want that to be funny I wanted that to be a really serious moment then I just realized the logic you know I'm not God hey baby don't get too caught up in me scrub that illustration but it's true we do say to each other right babe we say look you know you're my second love you're my second love and our job is to point each other towards Jesus Christ you can be a week you can be a slave to marriage verse twenty two of Ephesians chapter five says wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord now what it's not it's not saying they submit yourself to the husbands in the same way that you do to God the underlying translation says submit out of your submission to God in other words your submission to your husband if you are submitted to God will be a healthy submission are you seeing the difference it's saying it's a reflection it's an overflow of your submission to God in other words submit to God through someone submit to God through your husband submit to God and this is what the other one I was going to say you can be a slave to your family and I've heard it said before it's hard to see God as your father unless you see some of God in your father I don't know what your background is you know I've been blessed with an amazing father and you guys know it with the amount of stupid illustrations that I tell and my god my father has been such a wonderful reflection of how I believe God should be but I know some of you have had horrible fathers some of you had horrible parents and so people have been so hurt by bad parents that there's unforgiveness and there's bitterness and you know what you're still a slave you're still bound up life is still being affected by the way that mom or dad treated you back then and you've never forgiven them and you're bitter and you're twisted and opportunities don't come your way because of the way that I was treated as a child when you submit to this God who is the ultimate father and the perfect father it's the only submission that doesn't enslave you it liberates you you can be a slave to your family as well as a parent you can be a slave to your kids and you think about the parents that are always doting over their kids that I think of the parent that is saying yes my three-year-old child is going to be a brain surgeon in 30 years time and plugs him into cumon of six days a week now what does that do to the parent first of all when the kid starts flunking math but what does it do to the child they're slaves and so that's why Paul says kids obey your parents and parents don't exacerbate your kids don't be a slave to your kids in that way you can be a slave to your family and also you can be a slave to your work and isn't this appropriate man I could have preached the whole message just on this slither of Ephesians over the temptation because like I said in the Northside news and maybe that's why I wrote the cover this week the amount of conversations that I've been having with many of you about your dissatisfaction and just the pain that your work is causing you at the moment where horrible bosses is not some Jennifer Aniston movie but a reality for you in life and that's the challenging thing you can be a slave to your work Paul repeats himself in Colosse chapter three verse 22 he says slaves obey your earthly masters in everything and do it not only when their eye is on you and to carry their favor but with sincerity of heart and with reverence for the Lord whatever you do work at it with all of your heart as if you're working for the Lord not for human masters you know what he's saying you submit to God through someone to God through the horrible boss to God through the great boss because that's the other one you can be a slave to your work not because it's horrible you can be a slave to your work because it's the most wonderful and exhilarating and fulfilling and successful thing you've had that you're more you're more at risk of falling in love with your work than you are your own wife you can be a slave to your work and and what Paul saying in Colosseons what he says in Ephesians six he's saying look beyond the person no and you know what that does the principles here it makes the high pressure jobs bearable it makes the failed jobs redeemable and it makes the most modest jobs meaningful because you don't serve that boss you submit through that boss to God so are your relationships like tight ropes or flying foxes that's what I was saying when you can get over yourself and then you get under God you you develop not an oppression but a positional gravity in moving God to be rightful place in your life God it so ordered the universe in that way that relationships unravel when he's not at the top and yet they're restored when he's returned to his rightful place so as we finish up tonight why should we why should we do all this how do we get that life changing experience how do we have that tummy touching experience it's time to put on the 3d glasses for real you know why the world doesn't get submission you know why the world doesn't have the 3d glasses all of this has been grounded in Ephesians chapter five verse one Paul is saying those 3d glasses are the life and the modeling of Jesus Christ himself Ephesians five one follow God's example therefore as God's follow God's example therefore as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God you know here's what Jesus did equal with God leaves the comfort of the heavens gets over himself and not only gets over himself not only gets under God he gets under us it says the son of man came not to be served but to serve they made himself in the very lightness of the man becomes the lowest of the low so here it is tonight here is here's the the the the radio active fuel rod that's going to power you like a nuclear submarine this week this year in in in this concept of relationships is when you get this that I can get over myself and I can get under God when I see that God got over himself and he got under me you know who Jesus is he's Tom Hanks he's Tom Hanks he's he's Captain he's Captain John Miller he's he's he's the original one he's the one who truly made the decision up front to carry out a mission a mission of the father to enter into a world to come in and to save private you private rhyme the save you to go and come and bring you back home so you could be united with the rest of your family not at the risk of his life but at the cost of his life he's the ultimate Captain Miller and friend when you see what it is that Jesus Christ is done for you then it makes a lot easier to get over yourself and it makes a lot easier to get underneath God and a submission that's not an oppression but a liberation friends that's what biblical submission is and so I guess that's where we stand tonight as I guess there's a whole spectrum of different people here tonight you know there's people who like me as a toddler people people that have come to church you hear you you don't follow Jesus you've been you've been warming yourself by the oil heater that is the wonderful words and the warmth of everything that Jesus Christ represents in this place and you can feel it in your heart can't you can just feel it and you keep getting drawn ever closer and closer and closer you know and I encourage you tonight lift up your shirt don't take that the wrong way yeah lift up your shirt no that you need to be you need to be touched you need to have that sap Christianity is is not an evolution it's a position or a standing there was a point in my life in which I wondered what this oil heater was about there's a well there was a point in my life when I knew about the things of the oil heater and there was a period in my life where I experienced it friend are you the sort of person that knows about God and keeps hearing about God been brought here by a friend you keep feeling the warmth that do you know about him or do you want to experience him tonight you can do that not by touching your tummy on an oil heater but by accepting him through faith in Jesus Christ after the service and Christian follower of Jesus Paul says all of this stuff about submission he didn't get caught up in the semantics the principle is if you have had a tummy touching experience of God he he takes he takes it from knowing about him to experience him the life changing behavior through the power of his Holy Spirit the degree to which we get chapters one two three of Ephesians the degree to which we get the why will be the degree to which we live out the how there could be horrible bosses in your life tonight there could be marriages that are struggling tonight there could be parents that you are unreconciled with tonight they're just the case studies but friends if we get what it is that Jesus Christ is done for it the behavior will overflow time to get over yourself get under God [BLANK_AUDIO]