Northside Church - Sydney
Family Service: Building a legacy
You're listening to another great message from Northside Community Church. Hey kids, have you ever heard of a toy called a babushka? Yeah, well I know, what? You know, it's crazy before that you guys had iPhones and stuff, right? I didn't have iPhones and iPads and the best toy I could find as a kid was called a babushka. Yeah, it's this Russian nesting doll, it's this funny little doll, right, that I wish I could have bought one in today, but you can't buy one anymore, it's only back in the 80s that I'm obsessed with, you know. And you would unpack, you would crack this doll open and there would be another little doll inside. Have you seen them? Yeah, and there would be another one and then another one and then another one. I love babushkas, they're really fun, they're more fun than an iPad, I love them as a kid. And look, what makes a good babushka? Well, it's like the nested doll principle that even designers use that say that within a particular object there's a recognizable relationship to the master. You see, every little bit of the babushka look like the big mother babushka or matushka as it should have been called if you do your research on babushkas. Now, what has this got to do with one of the most famous passages of the Old Testament? And it's simple. What Moses is trying to do here is create God's babushka factory, right? He's trying to create a babushka factory here in Deuteronomy chapter 6, he's doing that. In Exodus he'd been up to Mount Sinai, he'd received the design principle for this babushka from God. Come down off the mountain, now literally the nation is literally all over the place, they look nothing like the master and he pulls all of the parents together, which is something I never picked up until we started this passage this week. This is all the parents together, it says yes first too. These are the commands, decrees and laws, the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you were crossing the Jordan to possess so that you, your children and their children and their children and their children, it's a babushka, it's a babushka. And see so what Moses is saying is God's plan is to start making some babushkas, I'm giving you these laws not, he's giving laws not because he's a control freak, not because he wants to make our life boring, but because he's saying I want you to look like me. And by the way it happens to be the best way to live life and so the people who got it is God's babushka factory. What we've seen this passage quickly this morning is the source of that design and blueprint, we see how that blueprint is transmitted through the generations and then we see the reason why where to obey this blueprint. You see first of all the source of the blueprint and if you, if kids are going to look like the master blueprint then you need to know the master design. Verse one, these are the commands, decrees and laws, the Lord your God directed to teach me to observe. In other words, Moses is simply saying here is the babushka blueprint. And so it means this morning and even for us guys kids is if we've got a blueprint for life, are we going to follow God's blueprint for life or are we going to follow our own blueprint for life. That's the first one, the source, but then the transmission of that blueprint. Here's the interesting thing for me that I got out of this passage. What's intriguing here is why is Moses talking to families? I mean why didn't he get all the scholars together? Why didn't he get the smart ones? Why didn't he get the writers? Why didn't he get the artists to transmit this stuff throughout the generations? And look, here's the insight as I get older, one of the scariest things and Sarah was alluding to this, one of the scariest things that I'm finding as I'm older is that as independent as I like to think that I am and as learned as I am, I'm looking and acting more and more like my parents. I mean, I'm sure this has never happened to you, those who are in a married situation, but you have one of those sorts of moments and your spouse or partner says to you, oh my goodness, when you say that you sound just like your father. I'm thinking, how does this happen? It's funny because my father always said to me, if you want to soar like an eagle then don't fly with the geese. And kids, when I used to hear that, I used to look at him thinking he was really strange. But I got the principle and that is that we are inevitably a product of the context and the influences in which we spend the most time. The people we eat with, the people we play with, the people we stay with and realistically for every single one of us in this room, whether we've left home or not, that place is our families. So undeniably, although not 100%, we're realistically a product of our families and that is why families are so critical and that is why Moses is a genius, right? Because he thinks if I've got to transmit this blueprint through the generation, don't go to the artists, don't go to the scholars, go to the parents. And so simply saying to us this morning, simply tell your kids to obey God. Done. That's my message. And you're thinking clearly mate, you have not had kids yet because it is a miracle to even get my kids to obey me, let alone God. So we can't just tell them and you know what kids are like. If you want to tell kids, we've talked about the source of the blueprint, the transmissions of parents, but whenever you want to tell kids to do something, what is the first response from them? Why? Yeah. I don't know or why. Why? Why should I? Why should I? And what is just amazing about this, you can tell that the Bible is an inspired document, is that the Bible already knew this because in verse 20 that we didn't read from this passage, it says, check this out, verse 20 of Deuteronomy chapter 6, in the future when your children ask you, what is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws of the Lord our God, tell them this? When do children ask you, why? Why should we obey God? Tell them this. And you know, and often what's our response when kids ask us why? Because I told you so, because I said so, and what's even more amazing this morning, wow, talk about Revelation of God. Even more amazing verse 24, the Bible gives us that answer. Verse 24, tell them this, the Lord commanded us to obey all of these decrees and to fear the Lord our God. So the Bible is saying, when the kids ask you, why should you obey? Verse 20, book 4, tell them because God said so. Amen. But come on, it's not, it's not that there was, there was something in the middle. I went for verse 20 to 24, we skipped something, it said, tell them, tell them what. And it's wonderful. Tell them the reason, it says, it doesn't go to verse 24 straight away, it says, tell them the reason, it says, tell them about Egypt. Tell them about Egypt, tell them about the way that we were once slaves. And this incredible God broke into our lives and with acts of mighty hands, pulled us out of that and bought us out of Egypt and bought us into a relationship with him. Tell them the reason why we obey. You see that? What's Moses doing there? You know what he's doing? He's preaching the gospel. Now some of you that are more learned and theologically trained are saying, come on, kiddo, he can't be doing that because we're in the Old Testament here. No one's heard about the gospel yet, but I'm saying he's preaching as much as he knew about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Because anyone who is a Christian understands that at one point we were spiritual slaves. At one point we were in the wilderness, at one point we were lost until this almighty God broke in and with acts of mighty hands, raised his son from the dead and saved us more than plagues and all sorts of horrible things happening in slavery. He saved us from death. And so anyone that calls themselves a Christian says at one point we were outside and God broke in and saved us. So in other words, Moses is preaching the gospel and he's saying, when people are to obey God's blueprint they need to know why. So therefore when your child comes up to you and says, why do you obey God, mommy, and why do you obey God, daddy, tell them not because God, because God says so. Christians obey these laws and decrees, not because they have to, but because we want to. And it was always that order, Israel was loved first, saved second and then they obeyed the laws of God. And it's exactly the same way with a Christian this morning. So if people are going to obey God's blueprint they need to know the reason why. And so finishing up this morning, guys, Moses thought it was important enough to gather the nation together and talk to the families and the parents, why? Because families form the future. The future generations that go on and on and on. And yet what are we doing a world where we see families falling apart all over the place? Where do you go to create something that is so hard to maintain? Where do you get that sort of power? It's the only family that has a source of power at its very heart and that is the church. The church is the family of God. The church is the last frontier for the family in our society today and it means our family ministry is not sadly how some churches treat it. Our children's and family ministry is not a place where we just send the kids to go. So the grown-ups are going to have their special time. No, what this is saying in the heart of our ministry in this place is that our families ministry, our whole church is God's Babushka factory. So guys, therefore this morning are you embodying the nested doll principle? That is, are you one of God's Babushkas? It's the two things. When people look into your life, is there a pattern and a design that's easily recognizable and traceable back to the master? The master Babushka God himself? Is that true of your life? But most importantly, are you actively passing it on to the little ones? Whether you're a literal parent or more importantly a spiritual parent in this place, do you look like him? Are you passing it on? How do we do that? Well, we're going to hear a bit from Sarah now as she gets down to the nitty gritty practicals of it all. That's right. That's great. It's great to hear the why into the background of where all this is going. And I wanted to really tap into a few things of what this could look like, you know, that passage of Deuteronomy 6 gives us a great model and I want to unpack that a bit. But firstly, kids, have a look at this photo. Does it look like your family? Does your family always smiling, always doing what Mum and Dad says, never, never arguing? Doing their homework without even being asked? What about this one? Is your family a bit crazy sometimes? Mucking around being silly and having fun? See, family life is messy. It's different for everyone. It looks completely different to every family here. And it's jolly hard work too, and there's no single model for success. But I love that Moses passes on this plan of attack. I absolutely love it. But do you know what I also love, is that there's so many things outside of a family unit or outside of an individual that means that we can do this together, that's not just on our own. We spoke about this last week in kids' church that God gave us the Holy Spirit to be with us, that He is there to help us. And God also loves for us to connect in with other Christians, to come together on a Sunday and hear His word. And we love Sundays. We love Sundays at kids' church, don't we? We have so much fun down there. And we love it. We love to catch up with you to learn together and to worship together. But a while ago, I heard this fact, and I guess I knew it to a certain extent, but when I heard this fleshed out and described this way, it hurt home a little harder and made me realise as to what this is all about. You see, there are 52 weeks in a year, right? Which is 52 weekends in a year, which anyone could join us at church on a Sunday, 52 weekends in a year when any child could be with us in kids' church. But we know that with holidays and sickness and travel for sports, a perfect attendance record is really not realistic. Well, on average, a family that normally attends church could be attending about 40 Sundays a year. That's 40 hours a year that we have to foster the children's spiritual growth. And we don't take that lightly. We put a lot of work into that because it's such a powerful time together. So 40 hours a year that we have. However, a parent or a legal guardian of that same child has approximately 3,000 hours a year, not 40, but 3,000. That can be, but I don't mean good as that mean. Well, some of the parents have heard me talk about this concept of orange a little bit lately. And we're really deepening into this because it's a partnership that is so powerful. When the two come together, it's so much greater than individuals working on their own. So we give the church the colour yellow, the light of the church, sorry. We give the family the colour reds for the love of the family. And kids, what do we get when we combine red and yellow? What colour? Orange. Yeah. Ha. That's exactly right. When we combine the church and the family together, where families or individuals tap into that broader community, we have the potential to be equipped in new ways beyond our capacity. And as we've deepened into this, we've brought up some tools in our kids' church programs, some take home sheets that you've got, some things that the parents can take home. We want to give you those tools to make this journey easier for you. But back to that plan that Moses gave us in Deuteronomy 6. I love this. I know I said that before, but I really do. I think it's awesome because it's not about reinventing some huge new programme that we don't have time for in our lives. I love it because it just taps into little slots in our day, staggered throughout our day, that we have existing in our schedule, that we could potentially use for God for him to reinforce these messages. So we've got, when we wake up in the morning, when we drive throughout the day, at meal times, and when we go to bed. And this is a concept that I thought we might look at this morning, is to different purposes, the different roles and the different goals you could have in these times. Who wakes up really early and just wants to stay in bed every morning? Or who wakes up really, really early, maybe even before the sun's up and can't wait to get out of bed and get going? We all have different situations in these times, don't we? Well, this time of day is an opportunity to encourage us, to encourage others, to instill purpose. And as a parent, you can be like a bit of a coach in the child's life. You're getting set up for the day ahead of you. What about the drive time? I think there's a fair few people in this room who's been a lot of time driving. Yeah, who walks to work, who walks to school? Yeah, you bike to school too, some of you? That's right. You know, this is another time in our day that Deuteronomy 6 refers to that we can use to instill these messages, to reinforce what we're learning on a Sunday. It can be more of an informal dialogue as a friend to a friend. You might be walking along to school and you can help them interpret life. Kids, who has a favourite meal? Have you got a favourite meal that you love? I've got one. I'm thinking of it right now. What's your favourite meal, Jack? Tune in one now. My favourite is a lamb roast. Being a kiwi, I love a good lamb roast, it's one of my favourites. See, meal time is another opportunity that we can have with a bit more formal discussion. I know many of you families have a devotional book that you're working through and you can explore a passage on a deeper level and can be of more formal time when you as a teacher can establish values in your children's lives. Bedtime, it's an opportunity for more intimate conversation, as a counsellor to build intimacy and you can debrief the day and process. And I love this moment of the day because you can debrief and you can process. But the greatest thing is that you can leave the day, you can leave the thoughts and the emotions at the foot of Jesus, you can leave it with him allowing for rest. So that's just an idea of perhaps how we could start to bring some focus to these times. Life is pretty chaotic and full on and family is messy but I wonder if we could even focus on one of these times for the week ahead and allow God to have that space to reinforce what the messages we are receiving from him on a Sunday or throughout the week. I wonder what that would be like. I wonder how as we allow God to use those times he could help us to be more effective and as we partner with the church, as the family and the individuals, just partner with the church we can together instill these truths on the generations that they may last and build a lasting legacy. So Northside is here to leverage off the influence that you have as parents, to help kids grow in their faith and to help you parent beyond your capacity on a spiritual level. Well, if that's a few thoughts for the role that we play as a church and helping you to parent beyond your capacity, I thought it would be fantastic for some wisdom to be shared from a wonderful couple who have raised a family in a strong Christ-centered home and in the last years they've discovered the role of grandparenting. So why don't we welcome up Kristin, our youth pastor, to come and interview our own Graham and Bev Agnew. I know a lot of you here this morning are also on this journey of being grandparents. So it's a real great opportunity for us to hear not only from grandparents but also from our senior pastor Graham and his beautiful wife Bev. So Bev, what is the most exciting thing for you about being a grandparent? I think initially it's just the unexplainable, deep love that you have and it sort of brings joy and laughter and smiles and happiness into your life, you just don't expect it. Yeah, beautiful. Without for you. Without for your Graham? I think if you enjoyed parenting, which we did, it's sort of like a second go at parenting, you know, all the fun but no responsibility, which is a great aspect of grandparenting. Graham, how important is the role of a grandparent in the spiritual formation of grandchildren? Well in light of what we've been saying this morning, I think it's very important, depends on what your family setting is, both our kids are active Christians and very heavily involved in the church. So our role we said is we're just kind of reinforcing what they are already doing with their kids and so in the way we try to model our Christian faith, the fact that we've been around a little bit longer than their parents, they see that this does work down to the generations as Sam was saying. So yeah, I think it's an important role. You can really help the kids to see that this has got, this is a lifetime commitment, you know. So this is a photo of Graham and Bevan, their beautiful children and their grandchildren. So you guys don't live near your grandchildren, so how do you influence your grandchildren being so far away from them, Bev? Well it's, you've really got to work much harder at it and I guess the best way to influence anybody is by your presence there. For me, when we first had grandchildren, I decided that I would try and make an effort to be there probably once every two months for a couple of days. So that was sort of full on for those couple of days. I've tried to maintain that, it's pretty expensive. And just to be in their lives there and obviously when we're not there, I mean there's these technology to rely on these phone calls and as our eldest grandchild is now six, you know, it's great to have phone conversations with her. That's when she's, most times she's ready to talk a lot. Other times she's just, this last week she said, "I'm dealing with something, I can't talk now." So, you know, there's a lot of humour in that in it and she loves to recite, she's going to a Christian school now and she loves to recite to us the Psalms that she's learning so we can share in that. That's great. Graham, did you want to say anything about influencing from a distance? Well as Bev says, it is very difficult because of the distance but they'll come a day when we'll be able to be a little bit closer in the years to come and that'll be great but at the moment just, we make a very special time of those visits to Adelaide. They are just precious every single moment. We like to do special things for the kids, I have a saying, you know, what happens at grandma's stage at grandma's. We do some special things with the kids that maybe the parents aren't able to do time wise or whatever and we have lots of little chats with them about God and about their life and how he can influence them for life, you know. And Graham, what would you say to parents here about the important role that grandparents play particularly in spiritual formation and what they can learn from grandparents? Yeah, some of you know, I was at a dedication service once in America, at an African-American church and the minister said, sometimes I'm asked, you know, what is the role of parents? Sorry, what is the role of grandparents in the family? And his answer was, your role is interfere, interfere, interfere. He was obviously projecting his own aspirations as a grandparent, now clearly that is not the role of grandparents, but I would say to parents like, you know, discover what the role of the grandparents is for you, because they can be a great support. I mean, you've got to establish boundaries, no parent wants their grandparents to be saying, you know, you shouldn't be doing that and we didn't do that and, you know, I mean, that's just, but, you know, establish some boundaries, but also look for ways in which the grandparents can support you in your role as parents. They can take some of the pressure off, they can introduce some more of a fun component, they can do lots of babysitting if you're really nice to them. You know, I think they can work in together really, really effectively if a bit of thought and time is put into that. Well, let's thank Graham and Bev for their wisdom and for sharing with us this morning. Thanks guys, let's go see. [BLANK_AUDIO]