[music playing] Episode 108 of the Bearest Podcast recorded April 18th, 2014, Modern Times. [music playing] You know my favorite part of the Winter Olympics is? -What's that? -The sex compades. -The sex compades? -Yeah. -Wait, what? -It's kind of like Javelin's. [laughter] -They don't put that part on air. -What? Javelin's. -Did they have that at the Russian Olympics this past time around? -I don't think they could afford it. -Well, I was going to say, I thought your favorite part of that one was the two-mile line for bread. [laughter] -That's true. -It was. [laughter] -Wow. -It was the opposite of a race. [laughter] -Just for their lives. [laughter] -Why are we talking about the Olympics? Like, we always try to come up with something to start the show with, and I feel like we're pushing it this time. -It's because you made a segue away from the thing that we didn't want to talk about. [laughter] -This is true. -So, we're not going to talk about that. -You know, in a second, Ruby is going to stop this girl. "David, we're doing the intro over again." -We might have to. -No. -Just keep going. -People would be amazed with how many times we have to redo the intro to this show. -Yeah, I know. We have to do it pretty often because, I mean, it needs to be funny. It needs to be-- -And it can't be too offensive. It can't be-- -Right. -Too out there. -Everything we say just rubs Ruby's asshole the wrong way. -Yeah, we didn't stop it last time because of me. [laughter] -It was because Grant got too close to the edge. [laughter] -You didn't want to jump. -You could have left my awkwardness in there. I'm fine with that. -We could have pushed him. -Yeah, we could have just pushed him over the edge. -Yeah. -Anyway, I'm Jon Ruby, and with me today, Grant Davis. -Hi. -How are you, Grant? -Doing okay. -Yeah? -Yeah. -A really good intro. -We put lots of care into the introductions of each of these episodes. -Yeah, we do. -They're carefully crafted machines, also with us. -Mike Lambert. -Hi, Mike. -Hey, it's your birthday tomorrow. -It is. -Fuck. -I know, in like a decade, I'm going to be as old as you. So I'll probably be dead. [laughter] -You know? It's not funny in dog years to be this old. In dog years, I'm like 1,000. -Oh, man, yeah, no, you're going to die soon. -I know. -But you're closer to that now, that you're, what, 31? -Yeah. -Didn't Jesus die like at 31? It's also Easter. -32, bro. -Oh, okay. -It's got one more year. -Yeah, one more year until the ultimate Easter. -Cool. You got the beard, though. -I'll try my best to make it happen. -Okay. -I'm pretty dedicated to dying really young. -I'm just going to be stuffing chocolate eggs into my face at this funeral. [laughter] -When I die, my entire liquor stash and beer stash-- -Gus me! -No, has to be drunk at the funeral slash way. -That's a terrible idea because-- -I want everybody else to come with me as the thing. -Okay. -Well, I will be there with marshmallow peeps. -Yeah. -You know, also with us. -Anastasia, I don't like to talk during the intro. Kelly. -You don't like to talk at any time, really? -I was waiting for you guys to finish or start. [laughter] I was waiting for a moment to jump in, so I was just checking things out on my phone, and then it never happened, so I guess I'm still waiting. -Now you're not waiting, you're talking, and thank you for talking. -Well, I mean, that was just my intro, but I may not talk again. -You know what? We are probably talking to people in San Diego right now. Right now, as we're releasing this episode, we're in San Diego, California. -How am I going to handle San Diego, and I hate people, and I get all like talking. -It's going to be fine. You're going to have a good time. We're going to drink a lot of beer. -I don't know how that's going to happen because you're plane crashed. -No. -Oh, God! -Oh, shit! They don't know how that happened in the future. And we're talking from some other weird La Bamba style future. I'm sorry to everybody I've offended. -Can I feel your diamond fill-ups? -Yeah. I said it before, you know, if you die, we're still only going to let Ryan on sometimes. -I'm not giving you the passwords to any of this shit. Anyway, this episode, we're doing four modern times beers. -Hell yes. -Yeah, I'm excited about this. -Yeah, I'm looking forward to this. They only package four beers, and the one beer that we had on a prior episode, we're going to have again. It's the Blazing World. -Blazing World. -Yeah, Blazing World is their amber. And we had it on an episode a few weeks ago, and we thought it was fucking fantastic. So a listener, Jesse Younger, sent us a bunch of modern times stuff. So we have all four of their packaged beers to taste today, and we're going to retace that Blazing World in context with the rest of the beers. -Sweet? -Yes. Super looking forward to that. But before we get to that, I've got an email to read, and this email's from Michael Moreno, and he says, "Hey, Beerus crew, this is Michael Moreno, long-time listener and occasional questioner. I wanted to ask what resources, books, websites, et cetera, would be good to find food pairing listings and to learn about food pairing, specifically trapez tails. I ask this because I'm writing a paper about the history of trapez dabbies and their brewing history for my beverage management class. Any book's knowledgeable beer scholars or websites would help. I found books about Belgian beers in general, but nothing specifically for trapez and abbey ales. Also, I want to give a shout out to the Hospitality Management Program at Ohio State University, which I'm a part of, and I'll be graduating in one year, finally. Hospitality Management Program, Ohio State University. -Yoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. -Gatsh me. -Shout out. We better get honorary doctorates just for mentioning them and plugging them on the show. -I think that's how it works. -I think it is how it works. -Absolutely. -Absolutely. A major that lets me drink beer, eat and taste food, and travel in the name of higher education. It's a great major, and just in case there are any listeners that need a fund major, which teaches universal management skills, they should take a look at Hospitality Management Programs. -Man, he really plugged the shit out of them. -No shit. -Yeah. -So did we. -What's up, Ohio State? Burp! -The beers have helped me develop an interest in the beverage industry as a whole, which has greatly aided me in deciding what I want to do within the restaurant, bar, and hotel industry, and I consider listening to the podcast as attending another one of my classes, Beer and Dick Jokes 101. -He needs to pay us fucking tuition. -We, yeah. -Absolutely. -Big time. -Doesn't he? Isn't he a contributor? -I mean, I guess sometimes, yeah. -Yeah. -Fucking hell. -But it's not as much as he pays for fucking college. -We're really inexpensive of the class. -We're like the university of Phoenix. -Yeah. -He might need a lashing. -No lashing. Sorry to see Mo's a little too long. I just don't get time to write in too often. And so I have to say it while I have the time. Thanks and have a great day, guys. I wish I could have met up in San Diego, his hometown. But someday, I'll make it to Austin to hang out with the crew. Michael Moreno from Columbus, Ohio. -Don't ever show up unless you've got tuition money. -You really need to pay us for two years of tuition. -Yeah. -I think 20 minutes ago, you got to the question he asked in that email. -Yeah, before the rest of that bar, geez. -Talking about trappist beers and any resources that we can give him about pairing beer and food. -A good resource I know of is Anastasia Kelly. -Yes. -So definitely Brewmaster's table. Garrett Oliver is really awesome with food pairings and all that kind of stuff. I cheated and I looked on Amazon. And the first thing that popped up was Brew Like a Monk, trappist, Abby, and it's loading. [laughter] -That's an awesome resource. -Yeah. -I cheated and looked on Amazon. And the first thing that comes up is Brew Like a Monk. Trappist, Abby, and Strong Belgian Ailes and How to Brew Them. I know it's a brew book, but that will typically cover a lot of information. And you can learn about the beer. And if you learn about the beer and you understand the basics of food pairing, you can do it yourself. -Totally. - Specific pairing on Abby Ailes. It's kind of niche. I don't know if there's a book or anything like that that's geared specifically towards that at this point in time. At least not that I'm aware of. -If this dude's in Columbus, Ohio, I'm assuming unless it's like an offsite portion of the university, he could go talk to some chefs that dabble in fancy food pairings and just kind of ask them about their paladin what they like pairing with certain things as well. -Yeah. And there's probably a lot of beer writers who'd be happy to answer those questions. I would personally take a survey across beer writers, across people in the industry who do beer dinners. Brewers also, I think, would be a good group of people to ask. -Oh, I don't remember if they have a lot of breweries per se, but they do have quite a bit of distribution. So there's a lot of different resources that you can go and talk to. The beer community there is definitely robust. -Absolutely. -I mean, there's definitely people in things that you could talk to. -I mean, we did a trapezail. Usually, we talk about pairings in our episodes. -Yeah, but I mean, we're just assholes with opinions. We usually just review the-- -We're certifiable assholes with opinions. -That is true. Award winning certifiable assholes with opinions. -You could also go to the website for the particular trapeztery. -That's a word that you're looking for. And if you can find it in English, then it'll more than likely give you pairings to go with each particular beer that they offer. -Yes, there are resources. -You're in college. Do your damn research. -Yeah, do your research. -Just look it up on Wikipedia like everyone else. God. It's not like you're paying us. -True. -And thank you for taking our beer and dick jokes 101. -Yeah. And thank you for writing that email, Michael Moreno. And if anybody else has an email, they want to send us, do it at info@thebearest.com. We really like reading them. And if it's a cool question, we'll answer it on the show. -I have a couple of iTunes shout-outs to do. -Yeah. -And what these guys did was they went onto the iTunes Music Store, did a search for the beerists, gave us a five-star rating and wrote a review for us. And when you do that, when these guys did that, they helped us get higher up in the rankings on the iTunes Music Store, and got more people's eyes on our stuff. So the more people they can see that, the more people check out our show, and that's super fucking helpful. I want to thank Kevin Kief for doing that. -Oh, I love Kief. [laughter] -Oh, good. So Kevin says, "This podcast is awesome. While delivered beer descriptions and reviews, supplemented with everyone's unique personality. The conversational tone feels like you're listening to you and your A-hole friends talk about beer." Are we A-hole friends? -Yeah. -I'm a B-hole friend. -Wow. -I guess you are. -I feel like I'm the you of that. -Not like you are reading a dry review on beer advocate. -Yeah, so it's just like hanging out with friends, not like reading this stupid beer advocate review. -Thanks, Kevin Kief. -Wow. -H-P-H-P-H-V-P? -No, no, no, H-V-P. -H-V-P-I-N-C. That's a rough one. -Yeah. -No, I almost made you into a factory that makes the warts more. Yeah, dick warts. He says, "The best beer podcast, even if you don't know about beer. The way this one's written is all over the place. I think I'll just read it as it's written." How's that? -I don't know about that. -Okay, the sign of a great hobby podcast is when it does not only preach to the choir. [Laughter] Going into this podcast, I did not know a whole lot about beer. I started listening because the camaraderie, rapport, and just general dickish humor was hilarious. [Laughter] I've continued to listen for so long because these guys are also a fountain of beer knowledge. They make my long walks and drive to work parable and you would be doing yourself a genuine disservice to at least not try this out. What? If you know absolutely nothing about beer, I recommend the Mexican Fiesta episode, the Malt Lickers Show or the 100th episode in order to get a grasp on the humor of these guys. -That was a very nice one. -Thanks. Yeah, it was, I said thanks like I wrote it. -These guys. -Yeah, I appreciate that so much. -You read it, though. You did a good job. Yes, HPV, I was at HPV again. I didn't mean to shit on you, HPV. That just, I'm sorry. We didn't get any donations. -Oh, damn it. -Oh, damn it. Maybe it's because I'm mean to people like HPV. [Laughter] -Oh, Jesus. -You hate HPV. -No, I think you can be mean to HPV. -I mean, okay. If I had you on my dick, I would freeze you off. [Laughter] -Man, you're going after HPV like you're Rick Perry. [Laughter] -Wow. Rick Perry goes after HPV with his whole face. So, he doesn't go after it at all. Okay, okay, so we didn't get any donations this time. And that kind of sucks. But, you know, hey, what are you going to do? You can just put a show out and hope that people like it enough to give you money. And in this case, they didn't. [Laughter] -Well, what an uplifting speech. -Yeah. So, if you think I'm wrong about that, -Give us money. -Yes, that's a donation. Go to thebearest.com. On the left-hand side of the page, there's a PayPal donate link. Click on it and kick us five bucks, 10 bucks, 15. Anything you want to give us, like any kind of donation, just five bucks, make that the minimum. -But the most importantly, make it a recurring donation. -Oh, yeah. -That is the most helpful because you've done your good deed. You're helping to support this ongoing for us. And you don't have to worry about listening to our boring plays. You can just skip this section, just get to the meat. -Yes. -The meat and taters. -Yeah, speaking of meat, that's me. We can scroll in. -Can I be the taters? -Yeah, you can be the taters. -Because I got taters. -Really? Yes. That is a really good thing to do. Reoccurring donations help us out quite a bit. So, yeah, donations are really cool. We love getting them and we fund this show all on our own and on listener donation. So, any time we don't get donations, we have to pay for everything. And we're already putting a bunch of work in a wish show, so. -I like that donations are cool. We like them. -Yeah, we super like them. -That's like sorority girls going. -Man, I like having fun. -Okay. -That is awesome. -What I'm actually saying inside my body and my brain is don't be a piece of shit, send us fucking money. -Yeah. -How about that? [laughter] -For this show that we put out for free. -Yeah, yeah. -We don't want to put it out for free. We just do it. -Right. -Betterly. -You force this into this listeners. -You know what, yeah, this is your fault that we're doing this. -I get a hint of bitterness on this episode. -They say a little hint of bitterness. -Yeah, we haven't even started yet. So, modern times. -Because of medieval times. -No, they're not. -No, they're a brewery in San Diego, California, and they were started by Jacob McCain. -Say what you want. I still choose to believe Grant. -Yeah, it's like they joust with those American gladiator things now. -Okay, you know what, I'm going to talk to Jacob McCain in San Diego and tell him that you're a piece of shit. -Yeah, they just tape a bunch of cans together to make jousting sticks. -You know, they probably did, I would do that if my name was modern. -They hand out turkey legs with all their beer. -Anyway, modern times brewed their first batch May 18, 2013, and it went on tap for the first time, June 24, 2013. So, they're a pretty new brewery. And, like I said, they packaged four beers and we're having all four of those today. By the way, Jacob McCain, the founder of the place, is a former stone brewing employee. -Oh, nice. -Yeah. And he was a longtime home brewery. He got together with a bunch of friends and made a brewery. -You think he's buddies with our buddy, Stevie G? -Oh, yeah, I think they know each other. The first beer that we're drinking is Fortunate Islands. Fortunate Islands is a wheat beer, 4.8% ABV, and it's available year-round in cans and on draft. And the malts here are wheat malt, two-row, and caraviano. And it's hot for Citra and Amarillo. -And it smells fucking great by the way. -I know, I could smell it from the table. -Yeah. Fortunate Islands shares the characteristics of an uber-hoppy IPA and an easy drinking wheat beer. A massive dose of Citra and Amarillo hops gives it a blast wave of tropical hop aromatics. I like the word blast wave. -Blast wave. -Yeah, that was my favorite transformer. Mango, tangerine, and passion fruit all leap out of the glass and grab you by the face. I just added that part. Brewed with a 60% wheat malt, Fortunate Islands also has the mild nutty malt backbone, reasonable ABV, and restrained bitterness to make it an outstanding session beer. -We'll be the judge of that. -Yes. The head has kind of dissipated, but there was a good two fingers of it when I initially poured it. -Yeah, it was gorgeous fluffy cloud head. -And it's just this really gorgeous, golden orange, hazy color. -Yeah, it's a little murky. -Yeah. -It's like a deep golden though. -I can't stop smelling this. -I know. -It smells gorgeous. -Oh, it smells so good. -Honey, honeysuckle, and tangerine. -Tangerine peel and mango. -Mango. -I'm kind of expecting something similar to, like, gumball head or Oberon. -The hops are a bit different. -They're bigger, but I'm expecting something similar, just relatively low alcohol, highly-hoped American pale wheat ale. -It's like a vanilla-y, kind of a hibiscus note too. -Oh, yeah, a little passion fruit. -Mm-hmm, passion fruit, yeah. -Yeah, there's something like cranberry or pomegranate also on the nose. -Uh-huh. -It's really interesting. -I think I have allergies stuffeded me up, so it's hard for me to pull those deep scents out of it like y'all are doing. -You sound like it too. Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm great. -Ooh, now that's better. Sound like that all the time. -So, what do you think, Mike? What does it taste like? -It doesn't have the hoppy forefront that I think that I was necessarily expecting. You get a huge malt kick, but then there's a really nice, bittering hop at the end that kind of comes through. -Ooh, yeah, that's bitter. -It's the tail end for me, where the hops actually come into play. -Yeah, it's very bitter and dry, I just took a sip myself. And I wasn't expecting that much dryness for bitterness. -No, neither was I. I was actually actually expecting quite a bit more sweetness out of this. -Oh, yeah, there's almost no sweetness whatsoever. -Yeah. -Oh, geez. Yeah, it sucks. All moisture out of my mouth. It's like drinking sand. It kind of reminds me of like soda water. -You know, it's- -Yeah. -The bitterness is becoming a little aspirin-y for me. -Okay. -Well, let's talk about what it- -You know, what it tastes like. -It tastes like rinds. Like a mixture of citrus rinds. I get a hint of the mango, but it's not really as strong as I thought it was going to be from the nose. -Yeah. I'm getting like a queeny granola thing, like shredded wheat cereal almost with no sweetness at all. Powder getting a hint of powder or anything or- -Great moisture out of my mouth. -Or something like that. -Yeah. Yeah, something like that. It's got a huge amount of, like you said, citrus rindy bitterness. Grapefruit, a little bit of tangerine peel. Comquat, really? I'm getting quite a bit of that sort of thing too. -The bitterness, it's really turning into aspirin for me. I'm getting like this bone dry sensation just on either side of my tongue in the corners of my mouth. -I agree, like it's aspirin-y, but- -It's still damn tasty. -There's something kind of nice about it. I wish that maybe the bitterness was just dialed back just a little bit and there was a little bit more hot flavoring. Something to match the actual aroma. -Okay. -Right. -Fortune Islands. -Huh? -Why? -It's more like unfortunate islands, I think, right here. I mean- -I don't think that- -I like this. -I like this. -necessarily bad or anything like that. I just think that- -You said you're drinking a, like, liquid aspirin. -It's getting aspirin-y, but the rest of the flavor, I think, is actually pretty good. I just- I like the malt characteristics that's there, but I just wish that there was some more actual flavoring hops as opposed to, like, so much bettering hops. -As I'm drinking it, I think it's kind of building flavor. -Yeah. -Like, it's kind of compounding. I'm starting to get a little bit of what it says is a nutty characteristic. It's kind of interesting. -It's like orange rinds covered in chewy caramel. -Caramel? -Yeah. -Like, the first sip I took, I got a lot of caramel. Like, y'all say sweetness, but to me, it tasted like a caramel. Like, maybe the kind of caramel that you get on candied apples that really soft- -Cinewy kind of- -Yeah, like, the soft caramel that you can pull apart. -The thing is, I don't get any sweetness at all. -I have a theory. When I went to Wisconsin a few years back, I had a cold, and I was drinking these beers, and I was like, man, it's like they put their cheese into the beer. It's like this sweet viscosity. And it turned out, no, I was just like, you know, a lot of mucus drainage while I was drinking everything. And that was my confusion. -Yum. -I wonder if it's not that's making you, like, think it's caramel-y. -I always have snot, though. -She does. -Yeah, she's very snotty. -Aha, and bratty. [laughter] -Whoa. -I have no idea where that came from. I'm so sorry. -I don't know, but I'm super excited to be doing a show with Jim and the holograms. -I'm really the only one getting any kind of caramel in it. -There's caramel and kind of a breadiness. The initial sip that I took, I was just expecting there to be so much hops, like there is in the aroma, that it caught me off guard when it was just very weighty. -Right. -There was an initial sweetness. I think that was there for me. But it's being completely bulldozed over by the bittering hops. Like, that's really the only thing that's lingering on my palate right now. -I like that, personally. -Well, I really like where this beer is. And I know that you're getting a lot of aspirin-iness. -I just think the execution's off a little bit. But, I mean, I like the flavors that are here. I just think they're a little out of whack and just not in very good balance. It's not necessarily. I love the initial flavor of it. Like, really, this beer, what it's making me do because it's bone dry, is just keep going back in and sip and sip and sip and sip. And I'm enjoying it as I'm doing that. But if I leave it, sit too long, the bitterness just kind of comes back and it's becoming a little... -You remember that hollow emptiness that left behind. -I was going to say cashews. -Cool? -Like, I'm tasting a little bit of cashew. I don't know if that tastes the same as despair. -I don't think it tastes like hollow emptiness or existential strife. Every time I forget to take another sip, I'm just like, "What's the point of life?" You know? God, you just get out of my head. It's like you're living there now. -I think it's just kind of a weirdly dry, bitter beer that promises more on the nose than it seems to deliver. And I don't think I'd be too inclined to order this at a bar frequently. -I think I'd definitely order it on draft. -I would too. -I think it would be a lot better uber-fresh from a draft poll. -I would drink the shit out of this if I was at an outdoor patio in the summer. This is fucking great for that because it doesn't have the sweetness that would maybe overwhelm my palate over some time when I'm sweating. Sometimes I don't want a beer that's too sweet, and this is fucking completely dry. -This is the opposite of what I'd want during the summer. -Really? -Something that makes me feel even more thirsty out in this Texas heat. -Yeah, dude. -Just constantly like, "I can't quench this thirst because I'm dehydrated," and this beer is making it feel like I'm drinking a bag of sand. -Okay, so if you were to eat nachos and drink this, your head would just invert. -Yeah, I've just become a black hole of Sarlacc pit. -That would be great. Yeah, so we need to make this happen. -Does anybody else get a pine in the beer? -Oh, yes. -Not like a big, juicy, tall glass of water kind of pine tree, but like a baby pine or an adolescent pine. -Sure, there's a little bit of pine there. -But like pine and some beach mineral sand. -Oh, sure. -Yes. -Do you guys have anything else to say about this? -I do, yeah, let's move on. -Okay, well, I really like this fortunate island, and the next beer is Loma Land. Loma Land, or Loma Land? -Loma Land. -Loma Land. -Loma Land. All these seem to be like kind of world building, like it's their own universe of modern times. I bet they have some fucking nerdy J.R.R. token map in their store of like all their beers. -Apparently, modern times is named after a beautifully crazy utopian community founded in 1850, and almost all of their beers are named after real utopian experiments or mythological utopias. -Oh, there you go. -Yeah, so that was from their website. Anyway, Loma Land is a Saison. -Loma Land. -Whatever. 5.5% ABV, 30 IBUs. It's a year-round offering in cans and on draft. And all these are in cans, really beautiful cans, by the way. The malter Pilsner, wheat malt, and flaked corn, and it's topped with Czechsaws. Loma Land is our flagship Saison, an earthy rustic Belgian style farmhouse ale that's both complex and quaffable. Sporting the mixed grain bill and fermented with a blend of Belgian yeast strains, lamaland. -Thank you. -Loma Land offers the complexity and nuance of the most traditional examples of the style. We like to think that it's so traditional, it's avant-garde. It smells like hay, pepper, and friendly sunshine. It's dry crack and that, that, that, that description. We named Loma Land after the brilliantly crazy utopian community that was the first settlement built in Point Loma, the San Diego neighborhood, where our Fermatoreum is located. Fermatoreum. -What's a Fermatoreum? -It's kind of like a vomit-toreum, but for fermentation. -Oh, it probably smells even worse. -Yes. -So, checking this Loma Land out. -It poured crystal clear at first, but then I got to the very end and there was some sediment, which everybody got a little bit of. -Yeah, cool with that. -Also, it was the same with the Fortune Islands. I see it was pouring and it was a great two, two and a half fingers, fluffy head, and it just dissipates really quickly. -Yes, the head is a little bit more rocky on this one and uneven. -Yellow, hey. -Yes, it's a pretty looking yellow gold haze. -It's just slightly less orange than the last one that we had. -Yes. -It's got a greenish tinge to it. -It does. -Yes, it's a slight bit. -It's got that same kind of murkiness too. -I've said it before about a previous beer, and I'm going to say it again. The sediment, it's so fine. In the way that it's kind of settling in the beer, it makes it look almost opalescent, almost like an absence. -Or like you've added just a couple of drops of cream that started to diffuse into the rest of the water. -It smells really good. -It smells really good. -It smells like a say song, guys. -It smells farty initially. -Yes, it did, but I'm getting a lot more fruit, banana fruit. -I still get all that hay and pepper. -Yes, hay-pepper, banana, peaches. -Belgian yeast, for sure. -Yes. -So, speaking about the cans on these, the same guy that did the can design for this is the guy that did the can design for Austin Beer Works. -Yeah, uh-huh. -That's pretty awesome. He's doing some good stuff. -These modern times cans make me want to be on a boat. -They're super cool. Clothes. -That's a good call. -Yeah, definitely clove. -Piper ham. -Clove is pretty characteristic in a saison. -I totally get where you're getting pepper ham from. Like, there's a-- -Seriously, no, I'm right there with it. -There's like a somewhat sweet umon. -Mommy, pork-like thing. -Maybe like, "Oh, the great mountain ham." Whoever that-- honey baked cams. -Yeah. -Like a peppered honey baked ham. -Totally. That smells great. -It smells delicious. -I would totally pour this into a slow cooker with like some pork shoulder or something like that. I think it would be awesome. -Mm. Something gross. I'm smelling. Why, I used to live in San Francisco. There was these little cocoons, caterpillar cocoons, on all these plants around our house. I'd go up as a kid and just squish them and get the stuff out of brands. The cocoon with the chrysalis, is that what it's called? -Yeah, chrysalis. -Yeah. -So caterpillar guts. -Yes. Kind of sounds something like that. And it's just like this wave of memory from smelling this. And then you even think of something like that. -Did you crush them against your face? [laughter] -I'm a kid. -I'm a pretty butterfly. -With your fingers? -Yeah. -With your fingers, just pop them. -What the fuck is wrong with you? -And then I would kill puppies. -Yeah, I was just going to say, as he would talk about killing actual animals here. -Oh, my God. Well, they were strange. Nobody's going to care. -But I didn't really think of it as a living thing at the time. -Right. -I wasn't really familiar with what they were. I was so young. -Yeah, like modern day truck stock hookers. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -You can kill them just the same. -They're all just caterpillars. -They're being crushed by life anyway. Anyway, so this Loma land. -Loma land. -Loma land. -I took a sip of it. And it's another very dry beer, but this is good. -Much better, much closer to the nose. -That's a really solid American Cezanne. -Very dry. Lots of, awesome, like that hop that saws is really nice. -There's just a little bit of bubblegum that I'm getting with it. -This tastes like a hefivizing Cezanne. If you added a little bit of more hay to our local live oak hefivizing. -I can see where you're getting it. -Exactly, I'd say identical to that. -I would say then that you sir are wrong. -Well, it seems like the ester is very similar. -Well, the ester that this is expressing is a very similar ester, or maybe in small amounts to the hefivizing banana ester that isomel acetate. I think it might be the same stuff, but not in quite as big quantities as some of the bigger hefivizing. But it's definitely there. -I think the thing that's separating it for me is the one the dryness, the pepperiness, but the clove aspect may be a little bit more amped up, but just the banana esters and a little bit of bubblegum, I totally see where you're coming from. It's just a little bit more dry and a little bit more bitter. -Well, guys, I have a surprise for you. Remember that blind taste test we did the other day? -What? -I switched this can and filled it up and then recanned it with live oak hefivizing. -You did not, so that's actually what you're tasting. -It didn't happen. -No. So, Loma Land, again. -Okay, fine. -You didn't buy a canning machine. -I go all out for it. -I wouldn't surprise me if Grant went and did just that, though. -I know, just despite us. -I know, so this is-- -The long con. -This is so worth it. -This is interesting because normally I get more coriander from Seissons, like there's a bit of coriander that I get, but here it's almost incredibly distinctly parsley. Kind of like parsley and cilantro and not coriander seeds. -Cilantro? -Cilantro, yeah, whatever. But not coriander seeds. -That's the widest thing I've ever heard you say. -Right, I'm trying to say a thing. Coriander seeds, no cilantro and parsley, yes. -I got you. -Pepery? -Very, yes. -I realize I've become very, very particular about my Seissons. -Do tell. -I kind of don't like when they have that hef-like quality to them. -Okay. -That banana clove, you're like, I don't like those in my Seissons. I don't think this is a bad Seisson. But for some reason, I'm just like, get this hef out of my Seisson. -When it comes to Seissons, there's a couple of different schools of thought. When you have Fant Home Seisson, just the standard one when it's on point, of course. -Yeah, but it's good. -When it's good. It's the best Seisson that there ever was. But then when you go to sort of the American side of things, Hennepin, to me, is one of the textbook American interpretations of a Seisson. And it's clovey, it's kind of spicy. It takes on a character very close to this. But I think Seissons is one of those styles that when you're getting a European Seisson and when you're getting an American Seisson, it's a very different thing. And I think that when it comes to this one, this is something that's a little bit more akin to like a Hennepin crossed with a hef-a-visin, if that makes any sense. -Sure, I still stick by my, this just tastes like a hef-a. -It's be the weakest hef. -Yeah, I mean, I get that. I totally get that. You guys are both right about that. Now, do I care? -No. -I like this beer a lot. -But you're not picky. -That's true. But I also-- -You have low standards. -Pretty much. -I'm not really caring that this is dipping into that other style because I like what's going on here. Like, I like the flavors as a beer. It's delicious. Like, I think it's fantastic. -I dig this. I dig this better than the last beer that we just had. -Cool. -I think it's delicious. -I could drink the hell out of this. All of these beers so far-- -Even including the one other one we've had? -No, no, no, no. I mean, we technically had three, just not on this episode. But we have had the blazing world. All three of them, I think, would make really, really good lawn mower beers. Like, just something really nice to drink while you're outside. -Yeah. -Especially with the Texas weather like right now, where it still doesn't know exactly what it wants to be. It's not quite summery yet. It's still barely holding on to spring. I think that this would make a really, really good outdoor beer as would the other three. -Absolutely. Both of these would make great outdoor beers. And this one, I think, specifically good with food. -Yes. -I'm not sure exactly what I know salads are definitely on here. -Maybe you're going to let me do my job? -I'm just kidding. -I'll go ahead. -No, I'm kidding. -Mixed green salad, dandelion greens, lots of tomatoes. I think this would go really well with-- -This would be good. -Like a crustini or a margarita pizza, or something that's got tomato and basil and fresh mozzarella. I mean, that sort of thing. -I want seafood. -Samus. -I want salmon. -Some type of blackened seafood, I think would go really good with this. Okay, cool. -Porked-job sandwiches. -Well, damn right. -That would be good too. I mean, this is a versatile food beer. -Yeah, and that's what I like the most about well-done say songs, is that they are one of the perfect food beers. -I think that this, in particular, because it's hitting some of those heffet traits also. -Yes. -I think that kind of opens it up a bit wider, because now I'm kind of wanting German food with this too. -Sure. -Sausages. -Right. -Schnitzel. -Sarracround, Schnitzel, and all that stuff. And this would work well with everything that you would get for Saison as well. I mean, I think this is a very nice versatile food beer. -Agreed. -I want something with raisins. -Hmm, interesting. -And I can't-- -Just something to complement the brightness. -I'm thinking of something in particular, but-- -Ans on a log? -It's like not coming to my brain front. I don't want to say like a banana bread or some sort of-- -I want to fucking cinnamon roll with raisins in it. -Yeah, or like, breakfast bread. -Like, hot cross buns or something. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Hot cross buns with maybe some Canadian bacon. -Oh, man. -And like a soft egg or something. -Today I was at Whole Foods, and there was a guy giving samples out of breakfast sausage with apples in it. Like, it had like pieces of apples in it. -Oh, you're going to die so young. -Oh, my God, I am. But it's breakfast sausages with apples? -Yeah, it was like this fucking Whole Foods hippie organic breakfast sausage that had apples in it. -Did you tell them to get the hell out of Texas? -I should have, but I wasn't wearing my 20 gallon hat. -Did you save some samples for the other fat people? -Nope, because I'm a fat person. -What would apples make it fatter? -I don't know how... -Wouldn't that make it healthier? -Look, I'm just going to eat what I want. -What? -We know, we know. -They're going to eat what I want. -Oh, man. -Like, I had some sausages that skittles put in there. -That makes you fat. -Never did. -No, I didn't. -What? -This is terrible. -This is fucking lovely. I love this beer. -Next beer. -You want to do? You want to move on? -I want to blaze on through to a new world of beer. Okay, so that was Loma Land, there's a saun, and I thought it was delicious. -I thought it was really good. -And the next beer is Blazing World. That's the beer that we've had here before. Blazing World is an amber. It's 6.8% ABV, 85 IBUs, and it's a year-owned offering available in cans and on draft. It's malted with two-row pale chocolate and Munich, hopped with Nelson, Simco, and Mosaic. And I'm going to read the description again, like I did on the last one, but I'll do it in a... Uh, Justin Bieber. -This beer is the stickiest of the icky. It's a luxuriously hoppy amber, loaded with intempered quantities of Nelson, Mosaic, and Simco hops. -He's Canadian. -Oh. [laughter] Which are some of the fruitiest, biggest hopes? [laughter] Sweet, sweet money can buy, despite its amber hue. [laughter] Blazing World is pleasingly dry. Sparding a lightly-branded bald-backboon. [laughter] That serves as a platform for the huge and complex hoof proofful. A. Is that A? -Is that how Canadians start? -That's exactly it. -You made that score. -You did him proud. I could never have a lettuce morissette tell me how awesome my dick is. [laughter] -Why? -Your cooque is so huge! [laughter] Why does she sound like Justin Bieber? [laughter] Okay, so this is a beautiful copper beer with a tummy. -Look at the head on this. -Oh, gorgeous beer. -The clearest of them. -Yeah, I got like two fingers of fluffy, fluffy, fluffy foam. -A lot of tape foam. -That's why they call you two-fingers, Rubia. -Yeah, is that what? -That's why she calls you that. [laughter] This is uncomfortable. I don't want to talk about this fast. This smells awkward. [laughter] Man, this smells amazing. Like, I get a lot of black tea, like, nest tea, ice tea. -I was just thinking, if you could just, like, go ahead and cut our other episode and just paste it in here. We can jump to the next episode. [laughter] No, I don't want to do that! -That'd be amazing. -That'd be so fucking lazy. -Hey, you know what I think about this beer? -Copy paste. [laughter] -Yeah, I know. I don't remember anything I said from the previous one, so it's going to be all different in this review, which goes to show you that I'm inconsistent. -It's true. I'm loving the way this smells. -Oh, like, soggy, shredded wheat. -Soggy? -Soggy? -I'm sorry. -Stretta wheat? [laughter] -It smells like- -It's fun twister. -Soggy, shredded wheat. -I think so, yeah. -I know, it sounds kind of gross, but that's kind of what it smells like. -That makes sense, but there's a lot of hops in the nose, too. -Sure. -Frosted, shredded wheat, maybe. -Anybody tasted this yet? -No, wait, we're fucking smelling it. -All right, I'll wait. [laughter] -Yeah, you will. -Yeah, you will. -I'll fucking wait. -Okay, good answer is no. No one else has. -Go ahead. -Yeah, you just jump right in. -Can't caramel? -Yeah, there's a caramel-y thing. There's like an iced tea, nest tea. -Exactly that, and orange is kind of- -Yeah. -Yeah, and I don't know, cardboard. -What? -You're cheating. -He's totally cheating. -He's totally cheating. -Cardboard. -I get a, yeah, cardboard. -No, I don't smell that at all. -But if you took a sip, you would smell it. -Really? -Oh, I also took a sip. The hops are gorgeous in the nose. -This tastes like an older can of this. -What? -There's no canning date. I was just looking for it, but it tastes different than it did on the previous episode. The previous episode, it just tasted way more bright. This one tastes old. -Okay, I took a sip. You're right, it tastes old. The hops have faded a bit. Does that make it a bad beer? -Not as good as the last time we had it. -True, but this is not bad still. Like if I had this beer anywhere else, I'd still be like this fucking beer. It's fantastic for an amber. -Multipiny, hoppy. I feel like maybe this is the same beer I might have said. Kind of remind me a little bit of dayman, and that I get a little bit of a hint of coffee in it. -Yeah, I get some of that with you. -That's the case, yeah, I'm right. -The chocolate malt is popping a little bit more than what I remember in the previous one. -Yes. There's also chocolate, kind of like cacao nibs or something. -Yeah. -There's also something that's a little bit, and I don't remember tasting this last time, but a little bit peanut-y. Just a touch of peanut-y, like roasted peanuts. -Like fresh roasted peanut. -Okay. -Would not be bad. -Peanut, no. -Skin in the tail end for me. The part that's lingering on my palate, sort of in the corners of my mouth. -That's kind of what I'm talking about. Yeah, it's somewhere in there, but it's like deeply, almost burnt peanuts. -Right. -Yeah. -Not bad. Like, it's not an unpleasant flavor I'm getting. It's good. -This one just tastes like an old beer for me. I'm not nearly as impressed with this as I was in the last episode. -Try to distance yourself from that, if you can. -It's caramelly resiny. I would actually think this was an IPA if it didn't say it was an amber. -Well, it's almost like a-- -I felt that way on the last one, where it was like fresh. -Well, the last one I thought, "Oh, the last beer I thought was a half of us." -The last time that we had it. -The last time that we had it, yeah. -It's almost like a red IPA or something, like that's kind of what it comes off as. -To me, it's reminiscent of nugget nectar, which is an amber, but it takes on the quality of an IPA, just like a hugely heavily-hopped amber. -That's a very good comparison. And I actually like this new end, this, which is probably a little bit old, better than nugget nectar either way. -Oh, I'd rather have a nugget nectar. -Then this? -Oh, man, I'm loving this. -Nugget nectors are nice. -They are. -I'd rather have a fresh one of these than the nugget nectar, but in comparison to what this is now, to a nugget nectar, I'd rather have it. -Okay, so ranking these, you'd put the-- -Okay, I'm sorry. -Well, let's try to squeeze all the flavors that we came out of this and actually describe this. -So, to me, the chocolate malt's definitely pop quite a bit. There's almost a rye characteristic, if that makes any sense? -Yes, okay. -Totally. Caraway seed, that's something like that in the bitter finish for me that just kind of stays there and is lingering. -I get that, and I also get something that's kind of like a trisket or something. -Sure, yeah. -That might be wrapped into that heavily roasted peanut flavor. I'm not sure, but that's just kind of the malt. The hop is really interesting. It's a little bit old. Yeah, you're right. It's kind of like grapefruit peel or a slightly off orange or something. -That peanut note just finally clicked for me. -Okay, good. I'm on board there now. -Okay. -You got to dig for it a little. -Especially peanut skin. -Mm-hmm. -Yeah, shell skin, yeah. -It's very bready. -Mm-hmm, yeah. -It just tastes like bread to me, like liquid. There's a little church wafer, but the tail end, church wafer. -It's been way too long for me to remember what the hell that tastes like. -The hint of the body of Christ. -Yeah, okay. -Put none of the blood. -What if you want blood? -No, I don't even want to go down that path. -No, that was the last episode where we had blood beer. Blood and pennies. That was fucked up beer. What beer was that? -The one beer that tasted like blood and pennies, dawg. -No, I think it was called ant phlema? -Yeah. -It was from Red Wing's brewing company. -Right. Anyway, that's a boot also. I like this beer still. I mean, it's not the best version of this beer that I've had. I mean, last time it was so bright and fucking fresh, that beer knocked my socks off. Here, it's still a good beer, but it's not the same. -Yeah. -Definitely not the same. Let's go on to the next beer. Okay, so this is the fourth and final beer for this show. And tonight, just so you guys know, we're actually recording two shorter shows back to back, because we're not going to record next week, because we're going to be in San Diego. And we're going to record some stuff out there, so we're not going to get together for a show. So what we're doing is we're doing this modern times thing, and then we're going to record a little extra after this. -Extra, extra. -Yeah, it should be cool. So I combined Loma Land with the blazing world. -That was a bad idea. -Yeah, we're going to do Loma. They don't even fucking like the snow world that they go together in. -Well, it's two utopias. I thought it would just make Nirvana. -I'm finding them in a way. -But instead, it just made like that weird pet smear guy. -And said it's like, yeah, it's like some sad fruitopia. -Beering man, I'm sorry. Like I said, that was blazing world. Did I say that was blazing world? Yes, that was blazing world. And the final beer for the evening is Black House. Black House is a stout. It's 5.8% 40 IBUs. It's a year-round offering available in cans and on draft. And it's malted with two-row kiln coffee malt, oats, roasted barley, pale chocolate, black biscuit malt, and crystal 60, hopped with CO2 extract, and the coffee is 75% Ethiopian and 25% Sumatran. Black House is an oatmeal coffee stout bursting with coffee aroma and flavor. Modern Times is one of the only breweries in the world to roast our own coffee. That's pretty cool. Which allows us to be exceptionally picky about which coffees we use and how we roast them. The result is an abundantly flavorful beer that's incredibly complex and aromatic with loads of roast character and the chocolate covered and a chop. The result is an abundantly flavorful beer that's incredibly complex and aromatic. I'm sorry, there's a result. That's all you guys need in this. Results with complexities. The result, the results and abundantly flavorful beer. Jesus, Lauren. The result is chocolate and coffee done. The chocolate and coffee. Goddamn, dude. Dude, I don't know. You don't need that sentence. God. Who's writing this show? It doesn't matter. Look at this stupid shit. Okay. You know what? You know what? Fuck you too. What? I spent a lot of time on that research. You didn't write it? Yes, I did. You just fucking copy pasted it. What you don't know is I secretly write all these to make your life a struggle. Okay, so fuck. I don't have anything to write my rankings on. Oh, sounds like personal problem. I know. So this Black House is. So Black, yeah, it's damn dark. Just a little bit of highlights. But man, there was a huge head on this beer when I poured it. I can't even get a single highlight. Fluffy and rocky head, like a combination of both. It's weird. Yeah. Man, does it smell fucking amazing. Oh, it smells like dreams that are wet. Okay. So, coffee and cream. Cafe ole, cafe con leche. A little bit of, a little bit of rainbow. And a friendly sunshine, which is funny because I wasn't getting that from the Lumbland. Hey, so coffee cream. I'm getting some graham cracker. It's called Grey Ham cracker. From Lumbland. Why is this happening to me? Because you picked us to be on your stupid show. Come on, hold on. Wait, are you asking out loud why you deserve this? Really? I'm going to move my paper over here. I just tore my machine. It's a bit of childlike anger. And you're like nearly 40. You're like 10 years older than I am. And you reacted that way. So, I can appreciate it. Grow up. I can appreciate how funny that was. You're 31, right? Yeah. Okay, sweetie. Welcome to the funny farm. Oh, god. Welcome to the funny farm. He thought it was funny because he's pretty fun. Okay, dad. Okay, dad. He's in my bracket. Dad, dad, dad. I'm 31 as well. I'm older than Mike. Sweet. You're in my bracket. Oh, this is a fuck you. Whatever. I'm young and supple and squishy. Yeah. Fuck yourself. Yeah, I saw my-- So is Ruby. Look at him. Yeah, I'm all the way. Supple, squishies. Hey, let me-- Hi, bear. Why am I so drunk right now? Let me-- Did you eat? Because eight ounce pores. Oh, for the last three beers. Yeah. Black-- What is this called? I tore up sheets. Black house. Black house. Black house. You tore up all the sheets. So, let's talk about what it smells like. Smells like coffee. Like, honestly, that's the most prevalent aroma. It's coffee. It does show like coffee. But there's more to it than that, I think. Oh, you had said graham crackers. I get a little bit of ginger snap. Yeah. OK. That's closer than graham cracker, I think. Slightly chocolatey. Chocolate, for sure. I get like cocoa powdery kind of thing. Is it like a root beer thing? Oh. And maybe like a smoke thing, but not-- I might go, oh! Well, no, no, no. But never confirmed. Well, no, no, no, no, you're onto it. No, no, no, no, no, no. I get a little bit of smoke. I get a little bit of sassafras, and I get a little bit of a niche. OK, cool. We didn't even take a break, or we're drunk, and we're used. Laughing at the word sassafras. That's the component of a root beer. That's a what it used to be. Actually, sassafras, sassafras is poisonous. That's the part that smells like root beer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That used to be what they had in root beer, but they stopped using-- Fucking grow up. Because we're here at Miss Giggles. Holy shit. I apologize to everybody about this episode. I get a little bit of sassafras, and second cash, and some less sassafs. Do you have to curse so much? I'd take a lot of root beer as a kid, so maybe I'm poisoned. This has a bit of varmint. [LAUGHTER] Some root and dute in there. [LAUGHTER] Also, some suffering, second cash. [LAUGHTER] Yo, so many Sam is going to come over here and shoot everybody at this podcast. I love them. Why am I laughing like a idiot? Because that's how you laugh. Because all these 5% sessionable beers. That I dumped out half of. Really? So Black House, was that like a CIA utopia? Oh, man. It's a utopia in my fucking mouth. Yeah, did you taste it yet? Holy shit. Coffee, graham cracker, a touch of coffee cake. Like, there isn't as much sweetness. Like, we perceived a little more sweetness, I think, in the aroma than there is in the actual taste. Yeah. There's none of that kind of creamy conletcha that we smelled earlier. To me, it tastes like cold brew coffee. I recently bought a French press. Oh, yeah. As well. There's just such a richness that I'm getting out of this that I associate with the same sort of thing that I get out of the French press. There's something creamy about it, and there's something deeply, deeply chocolaty. Like 70 plus percent cacao. Oh, yeah. Just something beyond sweetness. Yeah. Where it's just kind of getting into that bitter territory. And it's like a really richly roasted French roast coffee. Like a very dark roast in this fucking coffee. This is fantastic. This is one of the better stouts that I've had. It's one of the really long time. One of the better coffee beers I've had. This is in forever. I like it a lot. And it's less than six percent. Yeah. It's what, five and a half? Five point eight. I forget you guys don't have your sheets. So I just think you're being assful. Yeah. Thanks, Rubio. No, this is a fucking surprise to you. Here, let me go. That's five point eight percent. No! No! I know! I know! I was being nice to you. He's being nice to you. You had your way of thinking. He's being nice to you. Sorry. He was being nice to you. Ah. He had me with sheets like I write my rankings down. I have to do it by memory. And say, "Sha, you're our only hope." No shit. I'm a fucking documentarian. Hey, this is how the modern times are now. You got to just adjust with the program. Because we're not in those old, like, fucking... Medieval times? Medieval times with a swashbuckling. We can just joust you for our sheet back. And people were trustworthy. No, nowadays it's just like, "Oh, let me do something nice." Oh, I'm just going to shit all over this. Do you remember those episodes where we ate turkey legs? Those days are over from certain. Oh, no! Because everything is canned in the future. Can we keep the jousting? That's all that matters. We have to keep the jousting. Oh my god. Oh, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. Hey, I really, really want to have a cinnamon roll with this. Oh my god. Oh my god. Like a hot, gooey fresh from the oven. All right, you're making it weird. Oh my god, my nipples are so hard. All of you. I would have this with anything that I'd have coffee with. Cinnamon roll, chocolate cookie. Chocolate cookie. Soup waffles. Chocolate cookie was a girl I dated in college. Morning sex. Morning sex. Was another stripper. Stroop waffles. That's awesome. Recently, I had coffee with this fucking banana nut bread. That was amazing. Anything coffee this beer? Bacon. Yum, bacon. Breakfast bread with some really intense whipped butter. Oh, pancakes. Why'd you even say it? You ruined it. Because nobody else did. This is the perfect breakfast beer. Yes, it's dry. Like all the other modern times beer has been. So it's going to keep that palate kind of fresh and perky. Okay, so my perfect breakfast beer before this was Terrapin Wakenbake. Okay, one of the first shower beers that I ever had was three beans from six point. This would top that. I really like a das Wunderking for wake up beer. That's more like an orange juicy one. That I've never done. I don't like coffee though, so. Okay, get the fuck out of here. Just leave. I've run out of things to tear up. No, I will grab all your balls in my hand. Give it home, please. Give her the paper. You're out of paper. And I will squeeze and pull down very roughly. Okay, cool. Never mind you, you promise? Yes. I'm good. Let's get to ranking. Let's rank. You ready to rank? Fuck you, we can't rank. Well, we just do it on the fly. I'll go first if you want. Go ahead and go first. Top dog. My number four beer for the evening was that wheat one that we had the first part. What was it called? Um, Forever Island. Forever Island goes up one of the islands. Fortunate islands? Forever Island, okay. Number four is Fortunate Islands. I thought it was good. I really liked that beer. I think I could drink that beer all day in the hot summer, so I'd ever. I'm not buying it. I can't. But I think that beer is a wonderful hot weather beer. Like, I could drink the fuck out of that. Number three for me was. Yeah, go ahead. Paperless. That's not a good nickname. Paperless? I feel like I'm a molland. I'm going to call it. Quit helping him. He tore up your sheet. Tomoland. The Saison is my number two. Throw all the kids away from him so he can't see him. Wonderfully grassy and dry and a perfect accompaniment for many, many foods. Like, I think that can go with almost anything. Number two for me was Blazing World. I still do think that beer is wonderful, even though these cans were probably old. The first time we had it, we lucked out. We got really, really fresh cans. This time it was a little old. I could still drink the fuck out of that. I still loved that beer. Number one for me is the one that we're drinking right now. Coffee, Manhattan, alcohol. No, no, no. What is it called? What? Coffee, alcohol. Coffee, Manhattan. I had night one. Coffee town in the Black House. You were really close, though, with Coffee Man at night one. Black House. Black House is called Black House. It is called Black House. Wait, what was your number two? His number two is the one that you also couldn't remember the name of. My number two is Lamaland. No, it isn't. No, it was Blazing World. Fuck, Blazing Town. Blazing World. Okay, so my number one is Coffee. This is going to be a great episode. I'm really proud of this one. So Black House is a yummy, yummy, yummy fucking coffee beer. And it's a wonderful breakfast beer. I'm still sipping on this because I don't want this to end. I really love this beer all the way. Love this beer. Awesome. Yeah, that's me. I'm going next. Okay, Michael, go. My number four would have been my number two if it was the last episode. And my number four-- This is so complex. Yeah. My number four is Blazing World. Really? Yeah. Okay. I felt like this one on this episode was not nearly as good as it was on the past episode. The past episode and the one that we had at the tasting about a month or two ago was just awesome. And you laugh, but fuck you. Rip up, rip up old things. I don't care. Look at us. That's just the moment. You're not going to censor me. You're sort of a bitch. Yeah, I just-- I had to take my aggressions out on something. My number three was The Fortune in Island. I thought that this was-- [Laughing] He's got a whole mountain of these papers. It was OK. It was OK. You know what I mean? It's about as good as ripped up paper sounds. My number two was the-- Oh, Jesus. [Laughing] Loma land. Loma land. Loma land. Okay, so just so you know, the reason he had to look at that can-- Let's flash back a few seconds. [Laughing] I couldn't-- I couldn't remember on top of being drunk and then just the rip papery noises. [Laughing] So it was a damn fine American Cezanne. It was really, really super peppery and dry. I enjoyed that. My number one is The Black House. This is so fucking good. If this was available here, I would drink this for breakfast every day. This is better than coffee. And it contains coffee, but it's coffee and beer. So it's better. I'm drinking this right now. I don't know what you're talking about. I would call it better than coffee, but not better than cold brew. I fucking love cold brew. I love cold brew, too. Yeah. Who's next? I can go. Estasia, you want me to go? Yes, please. I'll go. Okay. Okay. Go. Number four. Fortunate Sun. I know Fortunate Sun! Is that what it's called? Fortunate Island. Fortunate Island. That tastes like a can of sand. Um, number three goes to Blazing Saddles. This is okay. Two goes to the coffee one. Black House. Black House. 'Cause she's a Black. Black House. I think that's racist. That was racist before. No, guys, no! Okay. Number one. Number one, what's Wama Land? I thought that was a really good beer. I'm pretty sure that that's just a straight up half advice. And they're bad at labeling their beers. So, Wama Land, is your number one? Yeah, this is a really weird episode. I don't know. We're in San Diego. Don't give no shits. Are you? I mean, they're the future. Thank you, Grant. Hey, stay tuned. Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm hoping there's like this swell of music already going through this whole ranking. So, it just makes it sound like that. Number four. Yeah. Was Mike's number four? Number three. Wait, what is that? What was Mike's number three? Why don't you fucking say the names of the thing? No, no, no, no. You took your mouth. Number two. Shouldn't have torn up our teeth. Mike's number two. And my number one was Mike's number one. You guys have the same-- Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Holy shit. I think that's the first time-- First time ever. Ever. We had a high five. Ever. That we have the same rankings. You can't rip all those pieces of-- Holy shit. That's like ripping a phone book in half. It's ripping up history. Number four. Blazing World. Number three. Fortune at Islands. Number two. Loma Land. Number one. Black House. Boom. That's amazing. That's a dynamite. Yes. Well, that's-- You guys never agree. We don't agree on anything. That's true. Except for boobs. And anal sex. And anal sex. I'm going to try to throw this tiny little wand up. You guys have come to a consensus on those two. And modern times beers apparently. There's a small wadded-up piece of paper. That's a giant wad. I'm going to try to get it in your cleavage. Please don't try to throw your giant wad into my cleavage. Ow. Not with the grooves. Why are you bringing up old shit with throwing wads into her cleavage? I've been drinking it. I want it going on. I want throwing things at each other. I feel uncomfortable for my own safety here. You're the one who brought up the-- [SCREAMING] No, I'm going to run up the color of the house. No, it was a black house. It was. Well, thanks for the insight, Grant. Hey, everybody. Thanks for listening. Hey, you guys. I don't know. Hey, all of you. [LAUGHING] Hey. Hey, look at the bright side. We're in San Diego right now as this is getting released. Yeah. Wow. So-- How is it? Oh, it's so good. You don't know the future. OK. We've discussed the future. Already on this episode. Are there flying cars there? There might be cars. Hey, guess what? It's going to be a year or two year anniversary soon. Yeah, that's true. Wait, hold on. Hey, if you've just downloaded this on the morning, we release it. I don't know who we're releasing it. But Friday, April 25th-- I memorized that date. Impressive. Wow. Yeah, I'm really impressed. Friday, April 25th, we are going to be at Tiger Tiger. Oh. Yeah, for our meetup. So if you've downloaded this in the morning-- Are you sure that place is going to be closed that day? No, no, Tiger Tiger-- It's not going to be live wire because those guys are dicks apparently. No, it's not going to be live wire. But whatever. Tiger Tiger-- I don't want to let in beers from outside. I'm a dick face, man. The reason we're doing it, you're right. The reason we're doing a Tiger Tiger out is because we want to bring in beer from outside. And we've got some beer from Jester King, from Hops and Grain, from-- And live wires. --apparently threatened by those things. Yeah, whatever, you know, they're-- I'm a dick face, no, no. My face was born weird with like a penis appendage on it. Put it in my face. But there's a four skin that goes over my face when I get it scared. Why was this happening? You're here with this face, this poor face. My face has a permanent skin turtleneck. I love that the four skin going over the face is contingent on a specific emotion. I'm getting scared. Oh, gosh, OK. So yeah, we're in San Diego. Oh, you're in San Diego, awesome. I hope you're out there with us drinking some beers. Jester King gave us like seven beers to bring in. I saw that's fucking awesome. Two of them aren't even announced. You're going to have to tell us what those are all right. One of them was just announced yesterday. Yeah, one of them was just announced yesterday. And it's not going to be released until Memorial Day. Dude. So whoever goes to our meetup will get to try. And that means that's Tiger Tiger. Yeah, Friday night. Tiger, Tiger Friday night at 7.30 p.m. Yeah, the good thing about when you release us on, you should actually release us on Thursday and get some next. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that. So by Friday, we're talking about Friday, April 25th. That's when we're at Tiger Tiger in San Diego. And people can check us out on Facebook at the Beerus, like our page, and you can follow along with where Rubio and then Sage will be. Yeah, yeah, Facebook.com/thebeerus. So we're going to be posting our movements through San Diego. We're going to be there from Thursday to Sunday. If you need to get in contact with them, otherwise you can probably also just email him at info@thebeerus.com. Very true. Yeah, and like I said, we're going to be publicizing where we're going to be in San Diego. So the whole time we're there, you'll know where we're at and you could join us wherever. And Twitter and Anastasia's on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of avenues to contact. Twitter.com/thebeerus. Instagram.com/thebeerus. And yeah, I guess we're good. Thanks for being here, guys. Grant, thanks for being here. Thanks for having me, Rubio. Thank you for letting us drink these modern times beers. Yeah. And thanks for tearing up my vapor. I'm sorry. No, it's funny. It was all in the service. Like, I'm sorry. Also, that I throw up a saver. But I appreciate you driving out here. Yeah, no, you're welcome, I guess. [LAUGHTER] Anastasia, thanks for taking me to San Diego. Anastasia, thank you for doing your work. Are you sure? Yeah, yeah, I didn't tear up your paper, did I? Um, I stuck it in my boot, or I'm hiding it from you guys. She doesn't trust you. Pretty much. I don't blame her, man. No. I'm a fucking live wire. No, you're like a tiger. I'm a wild card. That's what I meant. What is that? You're the opposite of scared foreskin. If the highest card you have in the hand is a seven, you can use me as another seven. Like, I'm a wild card. I feel like I'm missing some metal cord. I miss that too. I don't know what's going to happen. You're a wild card. I know it is. I give that you're a wild card. Oh, I mean, wild card, bitches. We're going to record a second episode after this. Oh. So if you think this is a mess, wait till you use that one. It's an extra, so it may never come out. Oh, man, I'm excited about that. So we're just going to waste our time. Yeah. This is-- this is 30-- what, 32 ounces of beer? Per person? Yeah. Oh, man. All I got to say is modern times bottoms up. Fuck yeah, bottoms up. Fuck yeah, modern times. Get him down. [LAUGHTER] It's always such a chore. Everything is a joy with me. Why have you talked to us ever? I'm not even-- No, she could be in a room by herself and roll her fucking eyes, and they're like, ahh, rah, rah. If a hipster is by herself judging the forest alone, is this anybody here for them? Wait. Yeah, the internet hears me. I'm pretty sure that it exists. I don't know if it's just that one guy that likes people's cigarettes using a bow and a stick. Right. We talked about that guy, the fucking apex hipster. No, you guys, hipsters are over. Everyone's a hipster now. So no one wants to talk about it. That is the most interesting I've ever heard anybody say. [LAUGHTER] Do you ever feel like we should have ended earlier? Yeah. Yeah, it's my entire life. And we didn't have, like, six months ago. [LAUGHTER] It takes a lot. It takes a lot. It takes a lot. It takes a lot. I love it like no. More information on The Bearest's podcast, including show notes and pictures, visit thebearest.com. Email us your feedback, comments, questions, and suggestions at info@thebearests.com. Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/thebearests and follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/thebearests. I'm John Ruby. Thanks again for listening. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [BLANK_AUDIO]
