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The Beerists Craft Beer Podcast

The Beerists 105 - Jester King Fruit Sours

Duration:
1h 24m
Broadcast on:
02 Apr 2014
Audio Format:
other

In recent months, Jester King has released a bevy of rare, wild, fruited sours. We taste 5 of these, and learn about tenderness and love, all in the absence of Mike Lambert.

Omniscience & ProselytismAurelian LureNocturn ChrysalisMontmorency vs. BalatonCerveza de Tempranillo

Rankings:

Grant1. Omniscience & Proselytism2. Cerveza de Tempranillo3. Nocturn Chrysalis4. Aurelian Lure5. Montmorency vs. Balaton

Rubio1. Cerveza de Tempranillo2. Nocturn Chrysalis3. Omniscience & Proselytism4. Aurelian Lure5. Montmorency vs. Balaton

Anastacia1. Montmorency vs. Balaton2. Omniscience & Proselytism3. Nocturn Chrysalis4. Cerveza de Tempranillo5. Aurelian Lure

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The Beerists are: John Rubio, Anastacia Kelly, and Grant Davis.

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[upbeat music] - Episode 105 of The Bearess Podcast, recorded March 27th, 2014. - ♪ Just your king fruit beers ♪ - ♪ Just your king fruit beers ♪ [upbeat music] - Hey, Mike. - Michael. - Just a little bitch. - Guess what we're doing today? - Just a little bitch. - We're doing "Just your king beers." - You just a little bitch. - You sound just like Mike. - How did you get that recording? - Nailed it. - I may be a voice master. - Yeah. - Oh, right. - You're on the police academy, ladies, weren't you? - I was. I can make a fake helicopter, like nobody's business. You wanna hear it? - Yes. - Holy shit, it's like one's in the room. - Yeah, right. - Very tiny. - Yeah. - It's in the room. - 'Cause it's a toy helicopter. - Yeah. - True, true. - There are no toy helicopters in this room, but there are three bearers. - Oh, what a weird segway, but okay, I'll go with it. - I know, I know. - It's like the three best bearers, though. - It really is, because Mike's not here. - Mike's not here, which is why we're rubbing it in. - Yeah. - Then he misses out on a great "Just your king beer." - He is on a trip for work, and he's missing out, and I took that opportunity to have an episode where all the beers that we're having are from really small bottles. - Nice. - Yeah, so it's not really enough for four people. So, hey, yeah, good luck, Mike is not here, so we're gonna be doing the five newest fruit beers from Jester King. - Yummy. - Yeah, they're fruited sours. I'm super excited about this. I've only had three of the five that we're gonna have today. - And don't cry for Mike. He'll get to try these. - He will, I mean, he's-- - He's probably drinking right now. - He was just at Jester King last Friday, so fuck himself. He can totally fuck himself. - He went to Russian River. - Yeah, he's been around, yeah, fuck him, fuck him. Okay, so before we get to that stuff, I wanna get to some housekeeping. I don't have any emails to read this week. We have had some emails this week from our listeners, but-- - Since they weren't good. - No, there's nothing they were good. They're usually like direct questions or how can I send you some beer or whatever, and I'm not gonna read those out. And if it's something that would be better served with an email response, I'll usually do that. So, I'm not gonna read any emails out this week. - Womp, womp. - But if you wanna send us emails, do it at info@thebearests.com. We really, really love reading them. - Gotta make them good so that Rubio doesn't hide them from us. - You know, I share the really good ones with you. - Well, maybe I don't want the really good ones. - Okay, I'll share more of them with you, and you won't respond to any of them, will you? - That's okay, I just like to read my fan mail. - Okay, I'll be sure that gets to you. - Can you also make sure I'm eating grapes while I'm reading them though? - Yes, I have to recalibrate that webcam I put in your house. - Okay, thank you. - We have an iTunes shout out to give this week. - And this iTunes shout out is to Greg Hunter. And Greg Hunter said, he left the review for us on the iTunes Music Store. It's a really, really helpful way to support the show. - Yeah. - He says, "Great way to dive into the beer world. "Very entertaining and informative. "I enjoy the conversation and appreciate "the genuine disagreement on beer and flavor preferences, "rather than everyone consistently lining up "to sing the praises of a given whale," quote unquote. Like a white whale is a hard to find beer, rare beer. - It's about W-A-L-E. - I know, I know, not everybody is super cool. Keep up the good work, he says. Thank you so much, Greg Hunter, that is awesome. And like I said, iTunes Music Store, do a search for the beerists, give us a five star rating and write a review for us. And I'll give you a shout out for it on the show. - You're welcome, Greg. - Yeah, thank you so much. And you're welcome, I guess. - I mean, I hate everything, so I feel like I'm that dissenting opinion. - You're a good opinion. We didn't even introduce ourselves. I'll get to donations first and then I'll introduce everybody at the table. - Yeah, we're mixing it up today, guys. - Oh yeah. - You're crazy. - Yeah, Mike not being here. - Mike's our center. - He's throwing off everything. - Yeah, we're laughing out. - Oh no, it's Mike the Glue. - Oh shit. - He sure makes a lot of glue. So donations, we got one donation this week from Dennis Clark. Thank you so much. Dennis, if you guys don't know, I mean, we just talk about it every episode. The reason we can do this show is because our listeners give us donations. We don't get any other outside funding. At all. And we want to keep it ad free. And we don't want you guys to have to listen to ads when you're listening to this show. - But maybe people want to know a good deal on a flashlight. - Sure. - Maybe we should have that. - Oh God, if we could get flashlight as our advertisers fuck you, we're having flashlight ads. I'd really actually rather not have any ads. So if you guys would please donate to the show, go to thebearest.com. On the left hand side of the page, there's a PayPal donate link, click it, and send us some money. Five bucks, 10 bucks, 15 bucks. Click the recurring button on the thing because that-- - Then you don't have to worry about doing it every month. - And you're guilt free every time you listen. - Yes. - And you're supporting a show you love. - It's fucking awesome. Like that really helps out a lot. If you guys don't help us out, all that money comes from our pockets. And I'd rather just do shows and not worry about how I'm gonna pay a bill. - I don't have pockets. - I know, Anastasia has all of her money in her pouch because she's a marsupial. Should we get to our beers? - Yeah, let's do it. - Do we introduce ourselves first? - Oh yeah, that's right. - Who are we? - Well, I'm John Rubio. - It looks like you're having a crisis. - I am, and I host the show and not very well today, apparently. - Oh, let's go with today, sure. - Okay, thanks. And that bitch is-- - Anastasia, so happy I'm not running the shit show, Kelly. - I'm really happy you're not either because we would all be required to wear bunny ears or something. - Ooh. - No, let's not do that. - Let's not completely table that. - Yeah. - Okay, okay, maybe bunny ears are gonna have-- - Actually, I think tabling that means we're gonna put it back into rotation for consideration later. I don't even know how English works right now, but-- - You don't, man. - I know, fuck the mess. - For being here, Anastasia. Grant Davis is on our third chair. - Hi, I hope you just delete everything I say from this episode. - No, I can't do that. You're a valid human being. - Explain to the audience how many times I tried to say a sentence and you deleted it every single time. - It's been a struggle for both of us though. It's not just you. Today for some reason has been kind of a pain in the ass. I mean, we've both been a little bit sick, I guess. - Yeah, sick of sobriety. - Wow. - I had a cold. I had a cold over the weekend. - I think I've contracted said cold. - I probably got all of Austin's sex, so what else? - Yeah, you're the outbreak monkey. - Grant doesn't-- (laughing) - So Mike usually opens the bottles and-- - I'm gonna figure this out. Grant is waking up friends on how he can open bottles. - There's like, I wanna point out too that there's about four bottle openers on this table, and Grant picks the wine key. - Did you try to open the beer bottle? - Well, did you still try the other bottle openers? I was bending the other one, it was an opening. Like all the other bottle openers, it must have been the bottle openers, right? I mean, it's not the user error. - Yes. - Sorry, Grant made fun of me because he said I would make fun of him for the way he bores, and I was like, no, I won't, and then I just made fun of him. - That's okay. Here you go. - Well, now that we've successfully poured the first beer, this is omniscience and proselytism. And by the way, like I said, all of these are from Just Your King. It's a local brewery here in Austin, Texas, that has gotten a lot of press for the really, really cool farmhouse beers. - And did they give all these beers to us? - No, actually, the only beer that was given to us is this first one. The other ones I bought, all of these beers are like one bottle limit at special releases at the brewery. These are the ones that I got in my one bottle allocation. - Oh, so nice. - And you're sharing with us. - Yeah, yeah. - Like I said, this is a beer beer beer. - I love you too, buddy. Omniscience and proselytism is the first one, and this is a barrel aged sour beer to re-fermented with strawberries. This is 5% ABV. It's a limited release available. Actually, let me scratch that. It was bottled. There were 500 bottles of this floating around. - Yeah, there's 4.99. - No, no. They only had this at the brewery to drink on premises. So these bottles didn't make it outside of the brewery unless they gave you one. - Uh-huh. - Yeah. - So it's still technically is limited? - Yeah, it is. It's extremely limited. Like I said, they only bottled 500 of these. - So this would be like a fun episode for people to listen to and never be able to drink the same beer as us. - Well, once in a while, people can trade for these things. - Yeah. - You know, so who knows? I mean, this may have made it up to one of our listeners' hands. - Or maybe they were at just joking. - Right, and omniscience and proselytism, the water in this is hill country well water, and this is a thing across all of their beers. They use all hill country well water. And the grains are pilsner malt and malted wheat. And this is hopped with organic golding, and it's fermented with farmhouse yeast, wild yeast, from the Texas hill country, pretendomizes and souring bacteria. Strawberries from Fredericksburg, Texas, were added to oak barrels containing mature sour beer. This beer was then allowed to re-ferment to dryness, unfiltered, unpasteurized, and 100% naturally conditioned. It's our first beer made using exclusively Texas fruit. The name omniscience and proselytism does not refer to any claims of inducing omniscience. (laughing) - Jesus, what did a sound box just explode over there? - That's so corny, it's so corny. (laughing) Oh god, it's hard to be a little left 'cause my fucking throat's all fucked. But thank you for that, Grant. - You just need a dick. - Checking this beer out, it's kind of a RNG rust color. - Yeah, reddish, little ruddy. Mine's got a shit ton of low floaties in it. It looks like strawberry pulp is in there. - Oh yeah. - No real head. - Yeah, very little wispy head. - Oh man, that smells awesome. - It stinks. - That's like sour strawberries. - A little bit of Greek yogurt in the aroma. - Yeah. - It's a bunch of sour strawberries, a little bit of apricot. - Something green. - Yeah, mint or something. - Something, but not quite minty. It smells like farts. - Grass-y, peppery, mm-hmm. - A little bit of funk too. - For a second there, I thought I got basil, but I can't really get it again. - Basil, huh? - And there's a little bit of like a wet hay. - Bittering greens, like dandelion greens. - Yeah, yeah. - Something kind of old? - Like attic. - I'm gonna take a sip. - Okay, cool. I'm gonna keep smelling this. - Almost like strawberries and cream in the scent, mm-hmm. - Okay, just took a sip. Very woody strawberry. It's a very woody, and the strawberry tastes like a fresh tart strawberry, like a not quite ripe strawberry. - Yeah. - It's like you lick a piece of wood and then take a bite of strawberry. It's either a not quite ripe or a little bit rotten. - And somewhere in between, right? - Yeah, it made me do a pucker face when I took a sip. - Yeah, no shit, this is really sour. - Mm-hmm, and that woodiness is just kind of in the back end before you swallow. It's just kind of nice. - It is really nice. - I like that it leads with the brightness. - Oh, yeah. - Man, this is just filling my mouth up with spit and it's attacking the back of my jaw. Like, this is really, really sour, but it's refreshing. It's not too crazy for me, like, it's just at the limit of what's comfortable, I guess, but it's really pleasant. Like, that strawberry is such a fresh, strawberry flavor that's coming out of it. It tastes like the fruit, like an underripe inversion of the fruit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really love their beer, and I really love their labels and artwork. I'm really thrown off, though, by their naming. It's always weird to me. - Well, we can talk about that more as we go through some of these games because we're gonna hit on these. - They're all crazy names. Yeah, omniscience and proselytism. - Okay. - I mean, they all kind of embody a thought or idea that goes into that particular beer, and then their artist, Josh Cockrell, works with them, I guess, to come up with a label that embodies that philosophy or whatever you want to call. - That idea. - Yeah, that idea for that particular beer. And Jessica is actually really good about updating their blog. So, you know, a lot of the information I got was from different blog posts, and some of those blog posts talk about where the idea for the art came from, or maybe. - Yeah, and they'll have photos of the process. - Yeah, yeah. You'll see fruit looking on nasty and barrels and shit. - And you can go check out all of this stuff at jesterkingbrewery.com, and they've got all of their beers on a page so you can see all the label art, yeah. - And it's fascinating 'cause you can see, like, how its art began and how it's changed. Just over the course of the labels, and it's so good. - Yeah, actually, I was drinking with him a couple of weeks ago, Josh Cockrell, like, how that defines all this stuff. And he was just talking to me about, like, his approach, then versus now, and how he's evolved his process and his approach to making the label art here. And it was a really interesting conversation. I wanna have him on one of these days on the show. - He's a nice fella. - He really likes well. - Maybe we can just talk about label art and not actually drinking. - I don't know if that's gonna be interesting for anybody but you and me who are designers. Like, we're both, it'd be cool. - Wait, can y'all do that? And then I sit in the room and get drunk and just listen? - Oh, sure, yes. - We could just do that off microphone because I don't think anybody else would be totally interested in that. - I don't know, give us feedback. Let us know if you guys would be interested. - I mean, you can do that anyway. This needs to happen. - Yes. - This O and P, I'm not gonna embarrass myself by trying to pronounce it. - Omnicians and proselytism. You could try it. - What Ruby has said. - Omnicians and proselytism. Omnicians and proselytism. - Do you see, boy, I don't see it. I like the journey I'm taking with it. I feel like it's kind of lacking in the middle, but again, I'm gonna go back to that bright wave of underripen strawberries and again, that green thing that I can't quite, maybe it's just strawberry greens or something. - Maybe, yeah. - Or maybe like a little bit of hay or grass or something. - Maybe some like lime zest also. - Sure, sure. Just on the team, but like Kiefer lime leaves. - Yeah, yeah, like that little bit of bitterness that you get from lime. - Yeah, so it starts off like that and that's super awesome and cool. And it's like, hey guys, I'm a cute little strawberry. I'm gonna be in your mouth. And then the middle, it's kind of like, now you know I'm here. I've been here, I haven't left yet. I don't know, the middle to me. - I'm invested in this little strawberry storyline now. - I'm pretty sure there's medication for that too. - Hold on. - What's gonna happen at the end? - I have no idea. - What's gonna happen at the end? - And then in the middle is where it gets to be a little more hay-like. It's like the strawberry is riding on a horse. - Right? (laughs) - So in the beginning, he's getting on the horse or she, whatever, the strawberry doesn't have to have a gender, so nevermind. So the strawberry is getting on a horse. - This is really complicated. - Entering your mouth and it's bright and fun and the sun is shining, then it's going on a little hayride on the horse. - I'm pretty sure that's how Mr. Hands got. - I do get a lot of hay in the middle. - And that's the middle. And then at the end, it gets to the wooden barn where all of its friends are hanging out and it joins the rest of the strawberries that took that horse journey through the hay to get to this woody finish. - She's just painted into the entire world for us. - Rebecca, we always need to have her drop ass to deport your horse. (laughs) - That's holy shit, it's hilarious. - I know, but that's what I feel like it is. - And you make a good point about the end of this being very woody, Barney, hay-like. There's a lot of that toward the end. - You guys noticing the changes as it warms up? - Yes. - Ooh, it's great. I'm getting a lot more strawberry jam, like a sweeter note too. And exactly what Anastasia was saying, the hay just gets punched up in the middle, especially as it warms. I'm like, wow, it's very Barney. Just the whole ride of this thing. This is a beautiful beer, and I wish they would distribute this. - And as it warms up, like in the middle, there's something that gives way to kind of an underripe and pineapple as well, which is really interesting. And I wasn't tasting that in the beginning, but now I'm kind of tasting that as I drink it. - It kind of actually reminds me of a Cantillon, which one is it, Rose? - Oh, the Rose I think I really know. - Rose, yeah. - I could see that. - I could see definitely a similar-- - I was thinking four letters and it was an iris. - It's a similar progression, isn't it? - Yeah. - I think this one's a little sweeter, but I guess I really mean fruitier. - Mm-hmm. It is quite fruity. This is one of the ones that I had before, and it was just a very small amount at the brewery when they release it that one day. And at the brewery, I don't remember it tasting this fruity. Like the fruit has come out pretty well. - Is this better? - Yeah. - This is gorgeous. - It is really good. - Strongest party in-- - There's a little bit of a palette shock for me when I first took a sip because I know I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, it's not like you said you just took a shit. (both laughing) - I'm sorry, go ahead. - It was a little bit of a palette shock when I first took a sip. Holy shit, that's a hard sentence to say. - It's good, no, you're good. - Okay, I'm gonna roll with it. But now it's really nice. I think that the coldness mixed with the tartness and me not having anything prior to that punched my mouth, but now I just wanna hold onto this and keep sipping all night. - Oh, it's wonderful. I finished mine. I wanted to join you on that. But yeah, like I said, these bottles are really small. They're 375 milliliter bottles. They're really gorgeous shape, like miniature champagne bottles. - Well, let me struggle to open bottle number two. - Okay, so that was omniscience and proselytism. And this next Jester King sour is Aurelian lure. Aurelian lure, something like that. - I don't have to meet or pronounce this. I'm not gonna embarrass myself. - I know, they're all just crazy words. - Aurelian. - Okay, Aurelian lure, I think that's a Star Trek alien. Aurelian lure, it's a barrel-aged sour beer reaffirmed with apricots. - I would know nerd. - You know, 5.4% ABV. This is a limited release available in bottles. And this one was one of the two beers that they released at their fucking sour festival this past year. - Where was our invite? - I went, I was there. Where was my invite? I think you couldn't make it. I think I told you about it. You couldn't make it for some reason. - Babies. - I know. This is 5.4% ABV. I already said that. Water, like the other ones, hill country, well water. The grains are pelsner malted wheat, hot with organic gold. And so the base beer is, seems like it's the same one as omniscience and proselytism. And fermentation is done with farmhouse yeast, wild yeast from the Texas hill country, pretendomized yeast and sour and bacteria. - So basically this is the same beer as the other one, but apricot. - Seems like it, yeah. California apricots were added in oak barrels containing mature sour beer. The beer was then allowed to reframe to dryness, unfiltered and pasteurized, and 100% naturally conditioned, Aurelian means golden in Latin. The root word Aurelia actually means chrysalis, the golden lure in this case is the sun or perhaps the apricot. This name is intended to capture the phenomenon of obsession leading the self-destruction. We have long recognized our own dangerous proclivity to follow an obsession to destruction. Extremism is in our nature. We must learn from these warnings and not be drawn to doom by Aurelian lure. Signed Merlin. (laughing) Actually it says Josh Cockrell. - Are you sure this isn't the proselytism one? - I, you know, wow. - Yeah, Aurelian lure, let's take a look at this. It's a very golden, slightly hazy golden beer. - Would you call it Aurelian? - Yeah, it is as gold as well. - I love in the description where it's like, in this case, the sun or perhaps the apricot. I'm like, if you don't know, how am I supposed to know? - Why don't you tell me Merlin? - That was all Merlin. - Yeah, the marketer. - Everything in quotes which the listeners can't see was all Merlin. - Oh, he's gonna get a kick out of the fact that we're calling him Merlin. - Oh boy, he still had that beard. - No, he still has some of it. He's not all there. - It's very shiny. - Yeah, it's a gorgeous saturated golden color, just a little bit of head, a little bit more than the last beer, but not very much anyway. - Ooh, that nose is crazy. - Hey, oh, silver. - Oh yeah, gold. - It's like milky sour cream in the nose with apricots. - I taste a little bit of crushed up sweetheart. - You smell? - You smell? - I smell crushed up sweetheart. - Oh yeah, sweetheart. - No sweetheart. - The sweetheart, the Valentine's Day. - Oh, you, people eat those? - Yeah. - Oh, dog. - I totally get that. - I was thinking a little bit of mint and fruit loops. - Yes. - Oh yeah. - I definitely can get that. - Even the mint part actually fits in with that sweetheart also, yeah. - It does, yeah. - I wanna say it's almost menthol, menthol-y, menthol-y, because it's doing something to my nose. - Okay. - Your nose is growing bigger. - I feel like vapors, like smell. - Are going into my nose every time. I probably shouldn't have done drugs before I came here. - Yeah, you just said them. It's a Pinocchio lure right there. - Aggressively goes into my nose, whatever scent it is. - Right, right. It's kind of like one of those minty, milk of Magnesia things, you know? - Like a Tom's? - Somewhat? I don't know, like there's a milkiness to it that doesn't come off as cream. I said sour cream earlier, but it's a little different from that. - Maybe the tartness and sour cream. - Yeah, like almost pepthobismally, I don't know if that makes any sense. - Okay, it's a very chalky quality, which I mean, you're mentioning the hearts, you're mentioning peptho. - Yeah, and we're just talking about what it smells like right now. I haven't had a taste of this, have you? - Yep. - What are you tasting? - I'm gonna, it's a tart explosion in my mouth. It's very aggressive sour. I definitely get chalky notes. The apricot fruit is there, but it does taste kind of rotten. - Wow. - Gone bad, weird. - That is fucking sour as hell. - Yeah, wow. - Sour cream was also right. - We all made the face, the poker face, we all went. - Holy shit, okay, the first sip of this just burned a trail down my esophagus. Like that was crazy. - I'm interested to see the change as it warms up, but first impression was like, oh yeah. - So it's tart apricots and cream. Cream is really lightly there, but there's a creaminess to it. - With a little bit of champagne. - Yeah, but it's like really a hurdle note to that cream though. - There is, there is. But that acidity is such a difficult thing to push through to get to those things. It's almost hard to taste those notes because of how acidic it is. - It's like homemade buttermilk when you just squeeze lemon into milk and let it sour. - I just can hear my mouth going recalibrating, recalibrating, just like an adapt to this. - This is fucking delicious, whatever, guys. - It is. And I just got something on one of my sips that was very herbal toward the front too. Like right before that tartness hit, there's like this herbal thing that washes and I can't really figure out what that is yet. - It's kind of like a ricola honey. - Yes, dude. - I didn't even mean something earlier. - Okay, okay, that honey herb, ricola. - Yeah, yeah. - There's something similar to that in the beginning. - What is that? - You can lip this or something in there? - No. - Echinacea? - No, it's something different. Fuck, I don't know what it is. - Well, I get edible wildflowers. - Okay. - That's kind of the herbaceousness that I'm picking up in that first beginning sip. - I could totally see that. - Maybe a little bit of grass or hay again. Well, every time I drink one of these beers, all I can do is picture Jester King. I don't necessarily pick up a lot of apricot. Like what I'm doing is I'm trying to compare this AL to the fufune that we had three or four episodes ago. - Completely different. - Completely different. But you know, similar in concept to kind of simple-ish sour base beer with apricots, but totally different. Like I definitely pick up more apricot in the fufune than I do in this AL. - Yeah, and there's a lot more acidity in this. - Oh yeah, that souring bacteria is no joke. - This Aurelian lure, I hope I'm saying that right. - Do you like how I'm abbreviating everything? - Yeah, I know, and it's bothering me. - Why? - Because you should go through the same personal hell I'm going through and trying to pronounce this. - Aurelian lure. - Thank you. - My own personal hell is listening to both of you trying to pronounce. - We both just did it, how about you? Try it? - I can say shit. - Okay, AL. - That just spells AL. So AL tastes really sour. It's almost enamel ripping, but not quite. - Right. - It's like a few steps below enamel ripping. - I mean, there's nothing chemical about it. Like it's not-- - No, I don't mean enamel ripping in a bad way, but you know, when you get those really-- - I mean, you mean it in a good way. - I mean, I get it. - When you get really acidic beers, especially in this style, you know, lots of Belgian beers will-- - You're totally right though. A tooth mine just fell out in the glass. (laughs) Maybe you're the fly. (laughs) - It's a flying bundle grant. - So this, I like it. It tastes like the bacteria maybe went a little crazy on this. It is way overboard on the sour, I think. For as delicate as the fruit is coming off here, it could really use a lot less tartness. Maybe the obsession with souring this beer led to its own self destruction. - Ooh! - That was really shitty. (laughs) - We sold it that way. - Yeah, I can-- - It was like a love shack. - I don't know. I don't get any of that potato mayisies, but I don't really expect to get potato mayisies in any of these beers flavor-wise, even though they do use it in fermentation. - Right. - I do definitely get that souring bacteria. - Quite a bit of it. - Yeah, quite a lot. - I'd be kind of curious to see what kind they use. - It's probably just a mix of a bunch of different things. I mean, Pediacakis, Lactobacillus. I mean, lots of both of those, probably. - When I go back to the smell, after drinking this a bit more, it smells like an old folks home. - What? - I wish it didn't. It just smells like old ladies musty dusty blankets that they coat themselves with, and they spray with their old lady perfume, and just death. - Now you're just wrong. - Wow. - I've been to old folks homes. They don't smell this good. - True, but there is certainly something a little bit weird. - It's like a cheap bubblegum smell too. Like a big league chew. - Yeah, I can see that. There is something a little bit off here. I mean, it's not bad, but it tastes like the souring stuff went a little crazy. Are you swirling around dregs? - Yes. - Sweet. I'm gonna try some of those. - Well, I definitely love what omniscience and proselytism strawberries did to the beer more than this one right now. - Yeah. - So what we're-- - You guys are dragging it up? - Yeah, what we're doing is grant poured clean the first go around and then save the dreg so that we could go through the beer. And then if we wanted to at the end, put the dregs in and then see how that kind of changes the beer, if at all. - And for me, it mellows it up just a little bit. - Yeah. - I mixed it into this beer. It mellows it up a little bit, adds like a sweet tart sugar or a smarty sugar quality to it too. - I find that preferable actually. - I do too. Yeah, this is a lot better with the dregs. - It makes the mouth feel a little fuller as opposed to punching in the face. - Yeah. That's a lot less sharp. - I have a stomachache. - You have a stomachache? - Yeah. - I hope you feel better and have been. - Maybe we should. - Don't worry, there's some pepto, I think, in this beer. - We should just drink some more. - Okay, you wanna move on to the next one? - Fuck yeah. - All right. And that was Aurelian lure. Aurelian lure, man, what a name. And this next one is Nocturne Chrysalis. Nocturne Chrysalis is a barrel aged sour beer reifermented with blackberries. This is 6.7% ABV. Another limited release available in bottles. And the base beer is the same as the last two. Hill Country, well water, pills are malt malted wheat, organic Golding, farmhouse used wild use in the Texas whole country for tanomyces and souring bacteria. But this was adding Kiyoa blackberries from Oglesby, Texas. Those are added to the oak barrels, containing mature sour beer. This beer was then allowed to re ferment dryness, unfiltered, unpasteurized, and 100% naturally conditioned. The blackberry re-fermentation involved a traditional winemaking practice called a punchdown. As the blackberries re-ferment, they rise up to the top of the oak barrel to form a cap. Several times a day, we punched down the cap with a stainless steel mashing tool to break it up. This procedure was important to achieve good flavoring color extraction from the blackberries and to prevent the cap from drying up and becoming oxidized, which can lead to unwanted growth of acetabacter, which causes acetac acid, the same acid that's in vinegar. After the punchdown phase was complete, we racked the beer off the fruit into oak barrels and allowed it to continue to re ferment. Once the beer was mature, it was blended and naturally conditioned through another re-fermentation in the bottle. - Whoo! - Dope. - Yeah, what a time-consuming, labor-intensive way to make beer. - For real, we love you, Jessica. - That's amazing, thank you so much, Jessica King. Take a look at this, it is a murky, murky purple red. - Hubba, hubba. - Yeah, it looks like somebody crunched a bunch of burlow grapes into a glass. - It looks like a cocktail. - It does. - Well, it's a little ruddy, reddish brown. - It is, and there's a slightly brownish red tan head on top. - Yeah, this one actually has a head. - Oh, milky sour blackberries in the nose. - Like sherbert, almost. - Yeah, right? - Like really homemade, where you still have those ice chunks in it. - Yeah, this one's also very, very woody in the nose, too. - Right out of the bottle, it smells a lot fartier. - Yeah, but yeah, tons of wood on the nose. I mean, tons of, like, wet oak. - I mean, I mainly get wood and blackberry. - Yeah, kind of, there's a little bit of, I smell basil here. - I don't really get a lot of blackberry. - It smells like fresh blackberries to me. That's crazy. - Maybe I haven't smoked blackberries in a long time. I don't just never remember blackberries having that strong of a scent, them just being mainly part smelling almost. - They have a much stronger scent, I think, than blueberries. - I think so, too. - I don't. Maybe that's why I probably don't pick up that much blackberry. - I get the blackberry. I also get blactic acid. Creaminess, a little bit of basil. The oak, for some reason, is coming off like a creamy fruit, also, which is cool. - Okay. - In addition to the blackberry, I kind of get a hint of like iPhone. - Fuck you. I hate you so much. - Oh my God. Oh, wow. - This smells like a Nexus 3. Fuck you. - I actually had a little bit of a blueberry. - Blueberry. - Okay. - Like a touch of blueberry. - Maybe you have your blueberries and blackberries confused. - No. - Okay, I just tasted it. That's good. - Oh. - Oh. - Yeah, that's just like sour blackberry. It does taste almost like a mixed drink, like a cocktail. - Yeah, wow. - With lots of lime, like it's lime juice, blackberry, a bunch of lactic acid. - Yeah, it tastes like a blackberry sparkling water juice thing. - Yeah, one of those fucking things called. - It's a Canada. - Like a clearly Canadian. - Clearly Canadian. - Yeah, sparkling waters or Italian sodas. - I mean, a bunch of companies do it now. - It's almost like a blackberry mojito, but less minty. - I can see that, totally. - And instead of mint, it's like Thai basil or something. Like there's a. - Sure, she has some sort of herb. - Yeah, somewhere in the same vicinity as mint, but without that fresh flavor. - Right, it reminds me of whatever mint-like thing we were tasting in the OP. - What's the OP? - The first one that we had. - The omniscience and proselytism. She won't say it. - I tried. - Anyway, getting back to this Mac turn chrysalis. - So this one, this NC does something really strange. - Okay, so these first two, the O and the P and E. - Omniscience and proselytism. - And the AL. - Aurelian Allure. - Those both made a beeline from the second they hit your lips to the back of your throat. - Direct path into your belly. - This NC. - Nocturne chrysalis. - Does more of like when a wave crashes and it goes side to side almost. - Drowns a Bolivian child. - So instead of be lining to the back of your throat, for me, I take a sip and it automatically spreads out and tries to hit my cheeks. - Oh, it definitely just washes over the top of the palate and then absorbs into the- - Yeah, it's weird. - Yeah, it feels like if physics was different, then the liquid would never make it into your throat. Like it covers everything in your mouth and it feels like it should stay there. - It's like a stain. Each sip is a stain. - Kind of, it spreads. - And you have to use your tongue to like scrape it off the rest of your mouth and back down to your throat. - And that's not a bad thing at all. Like I really like the way that's working in my mouth. - It's unique. - It really is. - I also get some blackberry seeds, I guess. Those kind of like nine, nine, not two e-bits. - Yeah, yeah, sure. - I got kind of a cola or a kind of a root type flavor, like root beer-ish. - Okay. - Not very strong, but- - I can sort of see that. Like, yeah, like root beer or sasperilla sort of thing. This is really good. - Sorry. - Yeah, this is nice. - I love the minerally aspects of it. Like, there's a slightly salty, almost granite-like quality to the water in this. It's really nice. - Yeah, I like to lick my lips after I take a sip. 'Cause that's where the sweetness kind of is. Yeah. - Yeah. - It's sort of battery acid though, when it hits my, what do you call them, tonsils? - Yeah, like a warhead. - Yeah. - Yeah, like a warhead. - It's like it wants to take my tonsils down with it into my tubes. - Which is different because when it hits the roof of my mouth, it's like a silti. - Silti's a good word. - Distilled wine, like a tannic wine. There we go. - Yeah, it is quite a stringent, like it's drying off the inside of my mouth. And it just makes me wanna keep drinking it. - It's making my lips dry. - Your lips are all red. - Are they really? - Are they a little bit, yeah. Are you worried about getting hives or something? - Yeah, I did bring my Benadryl up with me. - Okay, yeah. Every so often, Anastasia will find a weird sour or wild beer that will- - Chicken. - Chicken and allergic reaction. But your eyeball, it's also really bloodshot. - No, don't even start. Don't even start because the last- - Half of your face is kind of drooling. - No. - The last two times I went to Jessica King, I had an allergic reaction. - It's kind of rare. I mean, I think the whole time that I've known you, I think I've only seen that happen once. And we've drank beer together a lot. - Yeah. - I really like this beer. I love the way the barrel plays with the fruit. It's just a really interesting, woody, herbal, blackberry beer. I love it. - It's nice. - And it's pretty even keeled with the sourness. Like it's not blow your face off sour, or maybe it is- - Like the Aurelian lure is doing. - Well, I'm thinking that, I mean, it could be, we're just so numbed by that Aurelian lure. I can't really gauge accurately how sour this is. Oh, wait, I have some Aurelian lure left. - That Aurelian lure is, it's weird. It's the minty mentholy, menthol. Noter night is weird. - Yeah, it is kind of weird now that it's warm. - Do you guys wanna try this with a little bit more drugs? - Yes, yes, yes. Pull the drugs out. - Go the grand drugs. - Dragging up the Nocturne chrysalis. Oh man, it even changed the aroma. Like I smelled it even before I was gonna take a sip. - Looks like dead skin. Oh, that's gross. Sorry, I pointed that out. - It's okay, but the nose is a little bit more rotten. Like the wood seems like it's rotted away in a river or something. - I wonder how much dead skin we consume in a lifetime. - Oh my God. - Like so much. - I bet you at least have like an arm's worth. - I was sipping that when he's trying to talk about dead skin. - Is that really gross to you? - I mean, not when I'm just hanging out, but when I'm trying to taste things and describe it, if I hear the words dead skin, it's gonna affect what I taste. - Does it taste like dead skin? - Yeah, totally. - Buggers. - You know, staying on topic with the beer, I just read that Harvard found three books in their library that apparently were bound with human skin. - Really? God damn it. - They just discovered that and they're like, holy shit. Okay. - That's all these balls. - So again, with the dregs, yeah, it's gotten quite a bit more woody and it's also taken some of the sharpness out of the sourness too. - I think the dregs just round everything out in these. Just your king, you should keep the dregs like shake your bottles up. - I know. I would pour it the way we've been pouring it here. Pour it clean and then try it and then realize it's even better with the dregs. - Dregs aren't always this good. - Not always, no. - Which is why I'm kind of a snob in the way that I hate when people give me dregs and I don't ask for them. - But are these dregs going to give us a headache like wine dregs too? - Maybe, who knows? - I already have a headache, don't know. - No, you don't. This is delicious. I think that this beer is wonderful. These three beers have been really good. Did you just mix in and match it? - Nocturne and Aurelian together. - Yeah, we'll see. - A little bit of blackberry, a little bit of apricot. - That usually means that it's time for a break. - Oh no. - What did I do? - Oh, did you ruin it? - It's actually pretty good. - Really? - Yeah, I give you a sip, but I might be sick. - Yeah, we're-- - You should just mix your own. - Okay. - Yeah, everyone join the mix bandwagon. - Okay, we just did it. - Oh, I feel dirty. Like, I need to get checked. - It tastes like the Nocturne chrysalis, but with a little bit of menthol. - Chrysalis, and yes. - Chrysalis. - I agree, it does. That's an interesting blend. You know what a chrysalis is? - Dead skin. - It's like a stalactite. - No, it's not either of those things. (laughing) - It's what a caterpillar makes when it's gonna become a butterfly. It makes a cocoon or chrysalis. - So then when it comes out of its chrysalis, it's essentially its dead caterpillar skid. Nailed it. - Nailed it. - So Nocturne from my Harry Potter books is evil. So it's like an evil butterfly? - Oh, it means nighttime chrysalis. - We're gonna take a break right now. - Oh yeah? - Yeah. - We'll be back with a fury. - Yeah, we'll be back with two more of these beers. And these are gonna be interesting, I think. - Ooh, good. - And unlike these boring beers we've had. - Oh no, these aren't boring. - Oh. - What do you do? - These will continue the interesting way, yes. - Oh my God, might come back. (laughing) Actually that's when you're left with Grant banter. - Actually, don't come back. - I'm very, very, very happy today. - Oh God, I'm kidding. - 'Cause we're so punny. - That was so dark. - Mike gets back. - I'm so dark, I would imagine Mike and I would have said that. - I miss him. - I said he meets him. - I know. - I miss him. - I miss him. - Fuck, break. (upbeat music) ♪ Five and out ♪ ♪ And another mug of shots ♪ ♪ Turn down for one ♪ ♪ Turn down for one ♪ ♪ Turn down for one ♪ ♪ Turn down for one ♪ ♪ Turn down for one ♪ - Oh God, that is just squirting out. Like it's part of Jesus Christ. Yeah, you just crack that open and it's squirting. - Just crack that open. I was squirting all over the place. - And we just saw the music video for "Turn Down For What" by DJ Snake and Lil Jon. And that is the best video ever. Like, that is amazing. And we just probably hurt that song over the break because I am obsessed with that music video. You should go check it out on YouTube. The song is fucking awesome. If that doesn't make your dick go, then I don't know what will. Anyway, the next-- - I thought you didn't know what to add. - And that's not an ad, that's an endorsement. That's me saying, I thought that was awesome. You should probably go check it out. - Thank you for the money, Lil Jon. - No, Lil Jon has nothing to do with it. He may have sent us each a grill, but that's just 'cause he wants to drink it. - Ooh, a green egg. - That was coincidental. He sent us each a bare grillist. - Ooh, ooh, me first, me first. - Oh God, he's gonna eat your shit just to survive. So this show is brought to you by a bare grillist. - Okay, my vagina's made up. - Are you saying bare grillist? Whatever his name is, just grills. - Grills. Okay, big grills. Grill. It's not like Bruce Grillist. - What are you thinking about grills? - I slipped drugs into all y'all's drink. - I'm gonna be a little buzzed. So yeah, Lil Jon, DJ Snake, turn down for what? Check out that video, it's amazing. Like if that video isn't the best thing you've seen all year, you probably had a child side born and are lying to yourself about how awesome that was. - I had a child and saw it born. - You saw that thing coming out? - Yeah, was it like a-- - I touched a dead one though, still inside. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh god. - Like, her head starts popping out and you can see hair. It was about the size of like a Tangerine. - Are you telling me? - And the doctor's like, you can touch her. I'm like, oh, what? Yeah, you can touch that, no, okay. So I went and touched her hair and I was like, okay, it's kind of amazing. It's fucking weird, the whole situation. - Fucked up. - But it was kind of amazing touching her head and then I didn't realize that, that little Tangerine. There was so much more head than it even comes out. - Like, it was like the size of a giant grapefruit. - Yeah, exactly. - It's like a Prometheus alien. - Yeah, it was like so much more baby to come out. - Oh, I thought it was all okay. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. Mont Morency versus Ballotons, our next beer. - Yeah, yeah, Mont Morency versus Ballotons, a barrel aged sour beer, re-fermented with cherries. God damn it, I can't believe we had that whole conversation just now, that was everywhere. 6.7% ABV, it's a limited release, available in bottles and they bottled 2,250 of these and limited draft, I guess, it's also available. - Well, I mean, I was drinking it on draft at the brewery. - Nice, nice. So this is made with hill country well water as well. And the grains here, it's a different base from the first two that we were talking about. This is Pilsner malt, Munich malt, two row malt, malted wheat, Cara red malt, Crystal malt, Melanoiden malt, and roasted barley, hopped with organic golding, fermentation's the same. Farmhouse east wild, east from the Texas hill country, Britannias east and souring bacteria. Mont Morency and Ballotons cherries from Michigan were added to mature sour barrel aged beer and allowed to re-ferment to dryness. Unfiltered, unpasteurized, and 100% naturally conditioned, Balloton is a registered trademark of Michigan State University. - Mont Morency versus Balloton was made from a blend of two different barrel aged sour beers, re-fermented with a combination of Mont Morency and Ballotons sour cherries from Michigan. - So it's cherries. - Yeah, it's a bunch of cherries. - Yeah, yeah, and taking a look at this, it looks like a cherry beer, it's very rich red violet, almost. - Yeah. - It looks almost like either a cherry or raspberry beer. - Yes, it looks very thick, bubbly. - Yeah, it looks like it's got some body to it. - Yeah, I can hear it. - I know, it's like crackly with a carbonation and there's quite a bit of carbonation there it seems. Oh man, that smells like a lot of sour cherries. - It smells almost like pie. - Yeah, sour cherry pie, quite a bit of lactic creaminess also from the wood. - Cherry pie, yeah, nailed it, that's all I smell. - Cinnamon? - I get that with the pie flavor. - Yeah, yeah, cinnamon nutmeg, that sort of thing. - Yeah, pie spices also. - Green and grassy as well too. - Churro? - Churro, like the yeasty fried bread sort of thing. - But the cinnamon and sugar, oh my God, I want a churro. - Holy crap, a churro would be amazing. But yeah, I totally smell a little bit of that in there. - Churro break. - Oh fuck, I wish there was a churro. - Yeah, definitely. - Just hit pause, play some churro music. - Okay, okay, churro break. (upbeat music) - Oh man, I'm so full of churros. - Oh, this churros are great, man. - Definitely something yeasty, almost like donuts. - Ooh. - Donut break. (upbeat music) - I don't know if there's a donut song. I can play, but this is a wonderful smelling beer. - That bread with raisins, that kind of sweet bread, like the cinnamon swirl, raisin bread. - Yes, cinnamon bread with raisins. - Sure. - Yeah, I think that's what it's called. - Yeah, I'm definitely getting some raisin, some other, a very faint hint, kind of in the depths of other stone fruits, just like a general blanket term though. - Yeah, all the things that are hitting my palate make me wanna also taste apples, but I'm not really getting apples. - No, and I just tasted it, I'm sorry, like this is- - Oh yeah, I've been drinking it by the way. - Okay, it tastes like almost like a bourbon sour, like a whiskey sour, with water down. - Yeah, yeah, but it's got some of those flavors and then a bunch of like freshly made maraschino cherries, or like they use sour cherries in syrup to kind of influence the flavors of those. - There's not sweetness, really. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not much sweetness going on. - But there's fruitiness from the cherries. - Yeah, yeah. - And I think a little bit of that tart cherry pie note that we were smelling, I think a little bit of that definitely comes out in the flavor. - Yeah, and it's really floral too, which is interesting to me. Like it's got this potpourri sort of quality to it. - Something very medicinal about it, which I mean, going back to the Aurelian lure, we were kind of getting some Ricola notes and a little bit of mint. Can't remind to me of that, but with like a cherry lozenge type flavor. - Okay, so what you're taking as medicinal, I'm taking more perfumey, if that makes any sense. Like, I don't know, like I know what you're talking about. I think I know what you're talking about. I mean, since you say I get that too, but I get a lot more of this perfumey, like an old lady perfume almost. - Yeah, no, I get that in the back of the throat. - But you also get something medicinal? - Yeah, huh, that's a little bit more in the front. - Just kind of reminds me a little bit of a cherry cough syrup or a little cherry lozenge. - Yes, I see what you're saying, but I hate to call it medicinal because I think I see what Rubio is saying more like that. - I don't mean it in a bad, weird way. - I know what way you mean it, but I'm picking it more on that perfumey, kind of fun, like if anybody's ever had. - Sure, I can say a cherry candy. - Not even a candy. - You know those lemon heads? They make a cherry one like that? - They do. - Yeah, they do those things. - Yeah, I can sort of see that. - Same company that makes those. - This is gonna be an austenate's only reference, but have any of y'all ever had that East Austin Cider's gold top? - No, well describe it, like what are you talking about? - It's a local cider producer, and it's kind of a funky, sweet-ish, I guess. I hate to say sweet, but in terms of cider, it's got a little sweetness to it, but there's something in this that reminds me of that funky yeasty backbone. Like, you know, when you have Belgian yeast and you can taste the spice. - Oh yeah. - This kind of has that funky, earthy yeast. - Yeah, there's a little something flandersy about it. - Yeah, or almost like champagne yeast, but without that carbonation or effervescent. - Right. - I forgot to include this in my research, but the beach areas are trademarked because-- - The Balaton. - Sure, Michigan State University worked with a Hungarian scientist or doctor or something to try to find these superior tart cherries, my superior, I'm like the best tart cherries, and they use of research and testing and stuff. - Cross-breeding company. - Yeah, yeah, and they finally came up with one and decided it's some weird like Hungarian name, and they decided to call it the beach area. - Balaton. - Yes. - That's not a really hard word to say. You could say Balaton, just fine. - I'm trying to stick with my theme. - Oh, okay. So this is more just a-- - Is this a theme that Ruby hates that theme? - I know, I don't know. - He's not too annoyed by it yet. He's getting there though. - It's close. So I like this a lot. I think it's interesting in how floral this is. Usually I don't get floral from sour cherry beers. Usually I get something more like a cherry limeade or something like that from a cherry beer, like the cherries. - Or something more medicinal. - Yeah. - Or candy lides. - It has like a rose bath water. - Okay, yes, yes. I totally see that. - It's kind of a milky rose bath water. - Absolutely. - Anything old lady, there's a hint of doilies and cross stitching in here as well. - This bears me. - It kind of is, yeah. But vanilla too, stuff like that. I don't know, there's a lot of interesting stuff happening here. - I hate to keep saying the word unique, but I'm gonna say it again 'cause I don't have my thesaurus in front of me. I love the way that this M versus B is like a different take on what essentially is a creek. - Yeah. - You know, it's very base stripped down if we're gonna categorize it, let's categorize it. It's a creek, but it doesn't have a lot of the same characteristics that some of the other creeks we've had, like the canteon or even the Linderman's, which I know isn't necessarily the best for the style, but it doesn't have that kind of almost artificial cherry. This has a very rustic, earthy, funky, delicious, cherry note to it. - But you never said the word unique. - I mean, it's good. She was trying to deny it. - Well, I used it to describe some of the other ones and I was trying to think of it. - I was waiting for when you were gonna drop that word. - But I mean, I just, I like how, I feel like a number of these beers that we had are just a little bit different. - Yeah, they're interesting. - They're a little off-centered from what most people I think would expect from something when they hear barrel-age sour beer, refermentable cherries. I think even if you're not calling it a creek or calling it a style, in your brain, your brain's already thinking like, okay, it's gonna have this, it's gonna have this, it's gonna have this, but then this one comes out and cherry head punches you in the face with these kind of different pie, vanilla, wood qualities. - I totally agree. And I really do like this. I'm afraid though that having too much more of this would start, I think that floral quality, that perfume quality will start to grate on me. - Ooh, lipstick. - Okay, I'm thinking that that might grate on me over time. Just, it's a little much as I keep going, that one aspect of it. Everything else, I think, is fucking wonderful. But personally, that part, I could do with that. - Okay, I said lipstick because a sip I took reminded me the way lipstick smells, like a good quality lipstick. - I don't like this beer. I know I don't really like cherries all that much, but it doesn't seem like the good qualities of cherries are what I'm getting out of this. It seems like just this one tart note, a little hint of cherry sweetness, but not enough. Otherwise, it's just the same sour base. - It's a different sour base. - Oh, is it? - Yeah, it's like the base is completely different. - It's a sour base. - I'm really curious to see what those cherries taste like by themselves, because maybe if some qualities in the cherries that are kind of rubbing me wrong too, because like I said, that perfuming note to me is a little much. - I haven't liked really any cherry beer that we've had on the show. - Okay, I don't know. - I love cherries, but I especially love tart cherries or sour cherries, which is why I think I like this one so much more, especially opposed to ones that are a little sweeter or have more cherry fruit flavor. - Oh yeah, you told me that the last thing you read, Jessica, can you drink a ton of this stuff? - Yeah, I pretty much drink only this. - Yeah. - I had like four or five of them. - Wow. - Well, I mean, I was there for, you know, like five hours. - Like a sour? - No, no, no, no. - I was there for like, I had five minutes and I needed to wet my whistle. - I mean, it's definitely a little different on draft. For some reason, I'm doubting myself, but I'm pretty sure it was on draft. It was on draft, yeah. It's a little bit darker in color, which is kind of weird and a little less cherry pie floral note. - Cool. You guys wanna move on to the last one? - Yeah, I'm excited about this one. - Okay, so this one that we just finished was Montemorancy versus Balloton, and this final one is called Cerveza the Temperneo. It's a barrel-aged sour beer re-fermented with Temperneo grapes. This is 9.4% ABV, and this is a limited release available in bottles. They bottled 1,500 of these, and this is made with hill country well water. The grains are Pilsner malt, malted wheat, hopped with organic golding, and fermented with farmhouse yeast, wildies from the Texas hill country for tannimizes and souring bacteria. Temperneo wine grapes from California were added to mature sour barrel-aged beer and allowed to re-ferment to dryness, unfiltered and pasteurized in 100% naturally conditioned. The base beer for the Cerveza the Temperneo was made from blending oak barrels of pale sour beer. Cerveza the Temperneo employed a winemaking technique called a punch-down, so it's like that blackberry beer that we had, and that's pretty much the same in the description. - Yeah, okay. - Yeah. So check this out, man. - And this beer is fucking, I was watching Cramp pour it, it is beautiful. - Like it's such a rich purple violet color. It's like a wine, but holy crap. How gorgeous does this wine look, you know? - It's an effervescent wine. - So deep and saturated, and it looks to be mostly clear too. - Yeah, wow. - But you can almost not see through the glass because it's such a dense, rich red color, purple red. - Yeah, a little bit of burgundy highlights. I don't know. - It looks like it's glowing. - It does. - When you hold it, not it to the light, you see how dark it is, but then like around my fingers towards the bottom of the bowl in our little snifter glasses, it looks like it's just giving off all this really pinkish red light. - And gorgeous, pinkish reddish head too. - They are sexy. - It smells great. It smells, does grapes, of course, but I'm getting cinnamon sugar, kind of like a Belgian waffling note. - Oh yeah, Belgian waffles and grapes, grape jelly on toast. - Grape jelly on toast. - Absolutely. - I'm just gonna get it out, cat litter. - What, really? - Whoa. - I just gotta get out there. - Interesting, I don't get any cat litter. Pissed on litter or just the litter? - Like lightly peed on. Like a touch of cat pee, teeny little bit. - Oh man, but I really love how that yogurty, sharp sourness, that tartness is right up in the nose. - Not a diacetyl, but a buttery note to it. - Yeah, buttery note like you would find in some wines. - Yeah, kind of like a creamy, a sweet creaminess. - Yeah. - Maybe it's a minerality I'm picking up, like Slade or Granite or, I don't know if Drew is here, he would lick some rocks and tell us. - Oh man, okay, this is awesome. I just had a sip. And it's a gorgeous, like, I mean, like multi-layered, like it first hits you with a bunch of Temperneo wine grapes. Like it's-- - Wow. - Yeah. - What's Temperneo? - But it's a wine grape varietal. - It's probably one of the only varietals of wine grapes that grow really well in Texas, I think. The only really good wine that I've had come out of Texas, or at least the hill country, is Temperneo stuff. - I mean, what are typical characteristics of Temperneo, just in case you don't have any wine drinkers among our listeners? - I'm still kind of new to the varietal. I mean, it's got a couple of unique qualities. I guess I get a bit of a spiciness from that grape. It is a bit jammy, but not quite like a zen is jammy. - There's still a woody note. - Yeah, there's a woody note. There's an earthiness there too. But I haven't had very many Temperneo wines. It's a varietal that I haven't come across so much since most of my wine experience is Central Coast, California, and Bordeaux. - I still get a cinnamon-y sweetness node, a little hint of cherry as well in this. - Yeah, too, yeah. I love that initial jammy grape burst though. Every time I take a sip and it's not nearly a sour as all the other beers that we've had. - Yeah, not by any means. - It's got a nice little bit of tartness, but really it tastes like a wine wood. - This is like a double-hump roller coaster. - Explain. - I don't know. Apparently I'm not good with words, I'm not apparently. - Someone somebody fucks you twice on the rattler. (laughing) - I'm not good with adjectives unless they're really far-fetched stories. - Okay. - I have a hard time putting into normal terms how to describe things. - And everybody's strapping. - It's got two peaks on the palace. - Yeah, yeah, it does. So most of the beers that we drink, it's like a three-part story or three-part roller coaster. - Front the middle of the back, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, and then usually the peak before you drop down is in the middle or right before it drops out into your throat. But this one does that, but then before it goes into your throat, it goes back up, then goes right back down. - Yeah, it kind of softens in the middle. - Yeah, like it hits that you, the dangly part of the back of your throat, yeah. - The vulva. (laughing) - Which way are you drinking this? - Well, you know. - No, wait, the dangly part at the back of the throat. Okay, the tip of your penis. (laughing) - So it does that normal front, middle, and, you know, dropping down into the dropping down part goes in your throat, but then this one drops down, goes back up, hits your punching bag in your throat and then drops down into your throat. - That's acid reflux. (laughing) - No, it's not. This one has this little-- - You're just talking about the flavor though, yeah. - Yeah, this CDT has a weird, like, up one two at the very very end before it goes down into your throat. It's really weird and awesome. - It's very dry, very, the tannins in it. This is very much a wine beer blend. - Yeah, I mean, there is a lot to do with something like Pinot Noir or, you know, even somewhat earthy cab. I mean, there's some really nice earthy qualities to this, maybe a slight chocolate note coming in through there. - I mean, this is the closest I've ever had to a beer emulating a wine. Have you guys had anything kind of like this where you're like, the gap between the two is very thin? - St. Lambinus from Cantillon, a little bit. I mean, they're in a couple, I guess. Dogfish had his hat a couple. - What do you think of that? - I think it's cool. I mean, when it's done like this, I think this is the best one I've had. - This tastes almost like a wine spritzer. - Yeah, it does. And this is a wonderful, wonderful beer. And I think that wine lovers would like it too. And there are very few grape or wine beers that I would say that about because they are usually still very clearly beers. - We should try that. - I know. - I wish I could get like a wine connoisseur to try this. - I need to fucking get more of this. I need to figure out a way to get more of this. - Well, let's talk to those guys and be like, hey, we would like to do some little promotional tests with this. - Well, speaking of that, you know, they have talked about maybe giving us a couple of bottles of beer to bring with us to San Diego. So, hopefully, yeah, I talked to Jeff from Jester King and he's into giving us some bottles to take with us to San Diego to drink with our listeners. So, hopefully that works out. I mean, I'm still haven't gotten the box, but I think it's gonna work. - I think you need to stay an extra day. - I can't stay an extra day. - I wish I could. - I heard that flashlight also would like us to bring a couple of those products. I don't think that happened. Have we talked to Fleshlight? - This is a sponsorship, is all I'm saying. - Okay, so, Fleshlight might send down some pocket pussies for us to fuck with our listeners. - Whoa, whoa. Do they have to be just pocket pussies? - Mr. Limpy, I think they have a Limp Dick or, yeah, there's something. 'Cause, South Austin Brewery also wanted us to make some beer. - No, no, no, no, I said if they did, I would tell them to go fuck themselves. I don't like that beer at all, but I'm sure the guys are really nice. They're making different beers. - They're the same beer, but with a different label on it. - They're making different beers. I don't know if they're released yet, but they're making different beers. - Oh, it's possible. I don't know, I hope it works, because they haven't so far. I'm really digging the servicea de temperneo. I sound so wet when I say, "Serve esa de temperanneo." - Mmm. - Temprean corneo. - I try, I find-- ♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪ - I find myself trying to pick out all these different flavors, but then what happens is, I drink it like I drink wine, which is fast. I know, I've been drinking this fast too. - And I'm like, "Whoa, slow down." What's I do with wine? I mean, I'll sit there for a couple of minutes with my wine glass and try to pick out some wine flavors, but I'm like, "Ana, this shit's easy to drink. I just fucking pound it." - I know, should we try some drugs with this? - Does the Pope wear a funny hat? - Yeah. - I don't know, does he anymore? - Sometimes. - He's kind of a progressive Pope. - I mean, percussive. - Yeah, he wears baseball caps now. - Yeah, he's backwards. - I hear the Pope's gonna have a rap. (laughs) - That sounds like something the last Pope would have done. - He's not gonna rap, he's not. If there was a Pope rap, I hope you would take the stage name of MC Pope. - Really, that's all you have? - Wouldn't that rule? I mean, that would be the thing. - I hope that he would call it hip-hop. - Fuck you. Okay, I'm gonna drink this drink. - This episode brought to you by 100% more puns. - Hip-hop was better than MC Pope. - For real. - This is good. The drugs aren't to barely change it, I think. - Yeah, I noticed no difference. I mean, maybe a softness to it, where it was a little bit crisper before. - Made it a little bit more sediment. I can't really tell, like it's fucking awesome. - I like it, I don't know, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. I just, I feel like this is kind of highlighting the grape. - I mean, that's kind of what they wanna do. - Yeah, like, and I wish I knew just a teeny bit more about tumpernillo grapes. - Well, I think you do now. - Sort of. - It tastes like the grape. - It does, it does. - I wish I could describe it better, though. - I know, I know, I think that's what maybe, maybe my wish to is I can taste things. I can drink beer, but I'm having a really hard time pulling out specific flavors. - Well, there is kind of a mixed berry quality. - A little bit of spice, it's-- - A little spice. - Even the mouth feel is very wine-like. - Yeah, it's very tannic. - Not so carbonated, even. - It's got bubbles, but it doesn't have that effervescence or prickly carbonation at beer. - I can feel the carbonation in my mouth, but it's almost like my brain refuses to accept that it's there. - Kind of, sorry. - It's kind of weird, I don't know. - Do we all have wine mouth now? Do we have a bunch of like wine sediment all over? - I feel like I have wine mouth. - Right? - It feels like a-- - Like when something tannic dries out your lips? - Yeah, it feels like I've drank a lot of wine. - I feel like for the past hundred episodes, you've had wine now. - That's just her mouth. - Was that mean? - It was mean, I'm sorry. - Grand, you're not. - You're surprised. - Is this what happens when Mike's not here? You get mean? - I have to fill in the gap. - Wow. - The beer is hate of vacuum. - See, that was very sexy. When you say you have to fill in the gap. Let's skip to rankings. - This is gonna be hard. - I'm ready. - Oh, I walk right into that one. - Oh. That's what Anna Sager said. Who wants to go first? - I'm not ready for this. - I'll go. - Grand, go for it, man. - All right. - Jester Kings number five goes to Mont Marenci versus Balaton. - That's it, get out. - My bottom bitch, as it were. No, actually I think that's a good thing. This is not my bottom bitch. Is the cherry one. I think it's just goes to the fact that I would not dig in cherries. - Sure. - I poured this out at the end. I didn't want to finish the rest of it. It didn't seem to have any of the characteristics that I would think I would want highlighted in the cherry beer personally. - Yeah, and that's why we all have individual rankings. - Fair enough. - Number four goes to Aurelian Lure. This one was just a little bit too tart, a little bit too menthol-y, a little bit weird. Number three goes to Nocturne Chrysalis. - Chrysalis. - Fuck, I said it wrong again. Chrysalis. - You know how a butterfly comes out of a Chrysalis? - It's like Sea Alice, but for your Chrysalis. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, the butterfly comes out. The butterfly comes out hard as fuck. - Wow. - It's ready to get it on. All right, this is a great beer. I thought it was very delicious. I would have ranked it at number two. Had it not been for this Cervaisa de Tempe Nio. Man, this is just a delicious, gorgeous beer. I love this idea that the wine and the beer can so closely resemble each other and it's hard to distinguish. I bet wine can't do that. I bet wine can't make a wine that tastes very beer-like. - That's a good point. - Probably not. - No. - And that's why beer is better. (laughs) - That's what we mean. - Therefore. Number one goes to omniscience and proselytism. Beer kicked off the evening and I thought it was the best beer of the night. I love strawberry. I love the hint of it. It's not even a hint. I love the strawberries just poured into it and enriched the sour beer flavor. It just made it all so good. And the more I warmed up, the more jam-like it was, and the more I just wanted to keep drinking that forever. - Great beers. - Thanks Grant. - Thank you. - You wanna go next to Anastasia? Do you want me to go? - No, I'm having a crisis. - Okay, I'll go next then. My number five, Mom Maransi versus Balaton. I liked that beer. I didn't love it. I liked it and like I said, the only reason I didn't love it was because of that floral perfume equality. That started to get on my nerves. I didn't finish it. - It's like you like grandma, but you don't love her. - I don't know. No, I'm gonna put grandma in a home far away from me if she wasn't already dead. - Sorry grandma. - I've had three of them. They've all died. They're like goldfish, you know. They're in the last three. - I mean, everybody dies. - They all get sent to the farm. - Exactly. Everybody dies, but not everybody really lives. That's what Braveheart said. And oddly enough, my grandma died like Braveheart. Like she was on a table and it's-- - It's total of all of Oregon. - It took all our Oregon's out and she yelled freedom, but with a thicker Mexican accent. - Liberación. - Mm-hmm. - That was very sad. Moment of silence. Moment of silence. - The mixer didn't happen. - A moment of laughter for grandma. - Okay, number five, like I said, "Monmer" and so there was a belt on. That's why I didn't want it to be higher than that because it killed my grandma. Number four, I really am the lure. I liked that beer. I wished that I could taste more of those delicate apricots than I did. It was very sour and that got in the way of a lot of my enjoyment of it. And I usually really like very acidic things. This time, that kind of steam rolled over the small things that could have made this an amazing beer. - Sure. - Number three for me, omniscience and proselytism. Fuck, I thought that was good. I loved that beer. I loved how wonderfully fresh those underripe strawberries came across. And I don't even know if they used underripe strawberries, but it came off like that in the beer and it also had oddly enough a quality that was like overripe and rotten strawberries. Yeah, spoiled, slightly off strawberries. But it was so good, like such a great beer. And that's gonna set up my next two because that was my number three and I'm just over the moon about it. Number two, Nocturne Chrysalis. Fuck, I feel like I didn't say very much about that beer, but-- - Chrysalis. - Nope, it's Chrysalis. Chrysalis is a stripper name. Nocturne Chrysalis was wonderful. Like I said, I don't think I said enough about it, but I loved how blackberry it was. I thought that it was just a wonderful sour blackberry tart. - And it was really balanced. - Yeah, totally, I loved it. And speaking of balance, my number one, Cervais de Tempranillo, I thought, I sound like a douche when I say it like that. - You do, yeah. - Cervais de Tempranillo, I was-- (laughing) - You sound like a beach boy saying I'm there. - Oh man, like a gay beach boy. That's my favorite kind. Cervais de Tempranillo was delicious. I would drink this all the time if I had the chance. - Mm-hmm. - I am sipping the rest of my beer slowly because I don't want to finish it. Like this is the only bottle that I had. This is the only bottle I was able to buy. I wish I could get more. I wish I could get this one in particular all the time. - Aren't you like internet famous or something like that? - I totally internet famous, but that doesn't mean anything when they have 1500 bottles of a thing to give out. - This is my turn. - Yes, Anastasia. Thank you, me, Anastasia. (laughing) - Thank you, Ruby, for those rankings. Those are really good. - Thank you, you. - Hey, guys, thank you. - Anastasia, do you want to go now? - I mean, I don't want to, but I'm going to. - Oh, shit. - 'Cause it's my job. - Anastasia, go. - Number five was the A.L. - What is that? - American League. - Just fucking say the name. - Nope. - Will you say all of them for me? - Okay, go. - My number five was the A.L. - I really alert. - I like it, but like Rubio, I wanted something else to balance out that really heavy acidity. Number four, C-D-T. - They said they said they'd temper a needle. - I originally had it a little. - Thank you, thank you Taco Bell Dog. - See, there's no problem. - Moment of silence for Taco Bell Dog. - Oh, God, he's really dead. You know how he died? Like William Wallace and Braveheart, they took his guts out on his table. - You're probably eating a Taco Bell Dog. - Everyone who died this episode, would die at Braveheart death. - How do you buy Braveheart death? - He yelled like freedom, like Mexican exit freedom, and then Taco was rained down from the sky. He said something about Jews and sugar tits. - It was so awkward. Like, why did you say Jews and sugar tits when he died? Go on the station, sorry. - So I like that it is a wine beer, beer wine, whatever. I love that crossover that they did, but it's lacking a little something for me, maybe because it's focusing on the grape so much or the fruit component. So I originally had it higher, but then I bumped it down a little bit lower. So what ended up being higher was my number three, which is the NC. - Nocturne Chryssala Chryssalis. Nocturne Chryssalis. - I like that one. I liked it a little bit better with the dregs. I like the blueberry, blackberry, kimmy. Ah, I hate to say kimmy, deliciousness. I like the beer. - Yeah. - Number two is the O and P. - Omniscience and proselytism. - It's good. I love the level of tartness and acidity. And I love how it had all the sour qualities all in one. Tart, fang, acidity, woody, you know, all that shit. I love that. But my number one goes to M versus B. - Montemorensi versus Bellatons. That's not how you pronounce it at all. - No, that sounded more beautiful than anything I could have produced from my loins. - Montemorensi versus Bellatons, ah-ha. - And while I like it a teeny bit better on draft, I love what they're doing with these cherries. I love to eat sour cherries. They're the most expensive fucking cherries and it makes me so pissed off. - They are fucking. - But they're so good. I love tart cherries. I love pie, ergo. I love tart cherry pie beer. I like layup. - I like turtles. I like you. - You know, I like the names of these beers more and more. I think I was hating on them at the beginning of the episode, but omniscience and proselytism is growing on me. - Oh, get off. - I'm glad that I am getting off. - I am getting off. - I'm on these names. - I have a chance to say all these names. - You know, okay, I'm just gonna say a little thing about these names. Like fuck these names. I just wanna say, no, I don't mean it that strongly. - The tongue twister episode. - But holy shit, like if I can't pronounce the beer I'm about to drink, that's inaccurate because there's a lot of beers that can't pronounce. As you've heard over the last 100 episodes, no, I can pronounce corona. Fine. - You can't even say wheat beer. - I can't even say brasserie correctly, but I mean. - Rosia. - It seems like a lot of these names are on purpose a little bit hard to say. - They're very elite and hard to obtain. - They're a little bit pretentious. - Like the beers. - I guess it's a little bit. - Not pretentious. - I wouldn't say pretentious because-- - Hard to obtain and-- - You wouldn't say pretentious? - Well, a lot of their stuff is kind of tongue-in-cheek. They have fucking black metal, funk metal and thrash metal to some of their beers. Like they're kind of cool. Like those dudes are fucking legit. But every so often-- - But when they do this, don't you feel it's a little bit? - Mm. - I don't know, it's just-- - No, they're just trying to differentiate. - I get it, they're differentiating their thing. - But yeah, between the different-- - But they're so hard to say for me and I'm drunk. That's my only beef with it is it's just hard to-- Nocturne Chrisley, you said Chrysalis 37 times. - I did, I'm fine with that. - I don't know, maybe they just want to hear people fuck up the names when they go and ask for them at the brewery. - I think it's fair to call these guys a little bit pretentious about these things. I mean, we suck their dick every time we talk about-- - Whoa, whoa. - Jester King. - We love their beer. - Jester King is one of my favorite breweries. - So it's not like they're going to be all but hurt that we were like, "Oh, how should you say that?" - They're cool as shit. - But their butt might be hurt, heh, heh, heh, if you suck on their dick, heh, what the fuck do you mean? - Why would the butt hurt? - Are you sucking so hard that their butts come in? - Or maybe you know, you're just using too many fingers. - It hurts. - You never just like, slip on in while you suck at a dick. - What are the things you're doing for the dick sucking? - Boy, you gotta do something with your hands. - Yeah, you can like, knit or something. (laughing) - Oh my God, I wish I was talented enough to suck dick and knit at the same time. - Let's do it in some cross-stitching now, man. - Holy shit. - Dude, I'm surprised you don't like that Mont-Marrancy versus Balladon more. - Right. - It's not like an old lady. If that's what happens to you. - Oh, you're just knitting. - If that's what happens to you in your brain when you get blow jobs, you fucking think of old ladies knitting. (laughing) - And you've just killed bonus for every guy ever. - So the way Octaja filed. - Well, the way my boner died was it was on a table and they took its guts out. (laughing) And then my boner reeled freedom. (laughing) - Because it happened to be attacked? - It was a glorious death. - Y'all freed him in a very thick accent, too. Thank you guys for listening. You guys have been awesome. - Oh yeah. Thank you guys. Thank you, Jester King. And thank you Rubio. - Yes. - For these beers. These are awesome, man. - Dude. - Yeah, you should probably compensate Rubio for opening all these delicious beers. That's like 60, 80 bucks worth of beer on the table. - Yeah, listen, who's ahead and compensate him? - These are some donations. - 16 to $18 a bottle for each of these beers. - And you have to go to the brewery to get them. - Yeah, which is about 40 minutes from where I live. So yeah, it's a bit of a hike and a bit of a. - You're hiking? - Yeah. - Yeah, no, I don't like looking at me. - I don't know what that means. I'm sorry, that was not bad. - I hike to the pantry and get a stroop waffle. (laughing) - Can I hike to your pantry and get a stroop? - Yeah, if you get some strooples. Thank you guys. - Rubio has one of those chairs that goes down his stairs he sits on. - He might have to share that wind down on me. - I would be sitting in it all the time. - And it knitted at the same time. - My chair could knit and give blow jobs. - Oh my God. - You wait, need that. - I'm trying to thank people. Thank you guys for listening. And you guys are super supportive. Keep the emails coming, info@thebearers.com. Keep your donations coming. Thebearers.com left hand side. - Recurring donations. - I know you, yes you, right there listening in the car. You're thinking, oh, well, I can just listen for free because they're gonna keep doing this for free. No, we're not, not without you going and giving us recurring donations. - That's exactly right. - We need it. We're struggling right now. - We're so fucking struggling. Hold on. There's a guy who signed up for recurring donations and not a single one has come in because I don't know, maybe he doesn't have his PayPal set up properly. I'm looking, I'm gonna look at it. Hold on. - Call him out. - Yes. - This guy's credit cards are being declined. He's in bankruptcy and he's getting called out on his favorite beer podcast. - Okay, I'm not gonna call him out by name, but his name is. (beep) - That's a made up name. (beep) - Probably is. - Troy's son. - But this (beep) has set a recurring donation to our show. - For $500 every month, there's a recurring donation that's supposed to come in, but not a single one has come in. - When did he sign up for it? - Something messed up with this account. So instead of a donation every month, I get an email every month saying, your money, you didn't get your money. Is what it says? It says you didn't get your money. We've sent your customer an email asking them to make sure their payment information is correct. (beep) - Figured out a way to just send you a middle finger every month. - Yeah, that's happened three months in a row. (beep) We will be very disappointed if you don't fix that thing. Because we need money. - Yeah, we were all breathing heavy. - I'm just. - Just checking what you're doing to us. - Am I breathing heavy? - No, no, Anastasia, you're a golden princess. - Anastasia King is kind of like climbing stairs. - Anastasia, thank you for being here. - I prefer it if you called me a golden princess from now on. - Okay, Anastasia, golden princess Kelly. Thank you. - Well, you don't have to do it before. Just golden princess. - Okay, golden princess. Grant, how is Jester King like climbing stairs? - I'm out of breath. - Okay. - For some reason, just from being drunk. I feel like my heart's racing a lot. I mean, I feel like I'm losing weight in some way. Kind of like burning calories. Well, I appreciate your sacrifice for, you know, being here. I mean, it's just, I can tell you've given up a lot in health points and in. - It was probably a mistake. I've been saying a lot of dumb things today. - No, you're a bit delirious, don't be. - I love you delirious because it's just a fuck. - No, it'd be cool. It enhances everything I like about you. Curious about how this is gonna turn out then. - None of it's important. Thank you, and I've already thanked everybody. - Nothing matters. - This is how your mustache is so blocked. (laughing) - Nothing matters to you. - Last year, hair's really dark and your mustache. - My mustache used to be brown. But then what happened was they put my mustache on this table. (laughing) - Oh, stop, just stop it. (laughing) - I know, he's so bad. That movie is awful. - What do you mean, Braveheart is amazing? - I'm pretty sure you made me watch Braveheart. And it was awful. - I did, and I was crying like a fucking baby bitch. - 'Cause you're a baby bitch. - I got it, I get it. And you were just like knitting and-- - Sucking a dick. - Complaint you or something with it. - You cry at movies? - Yes. - I cry like a fucking baby. - He cries at everything. - I cried at like, twice doing three, like seven times. - He cries more than my vagina bleeds. - I can't remember the last time I've ever cried. I had a baby, and I tear came out. It was a long day. (laughing) - I don't cry at stuff. - I cry all the time. - Like emotionally dead. - I mean-- - Me too, high five. - Why don't you cry? - I'm not mature enough, baby, I don't know. Is that what it is? (laughing) - 'Cause he bottles up all his emotions on the inside. He doesn't want to let any out. - I'm a very happy content person. Probably 95% of my life, but there's nothing that just like-- - And you? - To tears? - Not to tears, but I'll certainly be moved like so. - Maybe if you do some interpretive dancing to any grant will cry. - I have noticed that when I watch stuff now that I'm a parent, stuff with parents and kids as like more emotional affects me a lot more. But I don't cry. I get all like, aw. - Emotions, I assume I should be feeling now. - Okay, so we should listen to some neutral milk hotel together. - No, no, that means the advertising is working. - It's like you and me sitting like cross like across from each other naked, for some reason. - No, we do this. - It has to be like the right place and mood. - We'll be naked, but it will be in a hot tub. - Okay. - Yeah, so we'll be in the bathtub. - Oh, hot tub, in the bathtub. - I'm not in the bathtub. - We're gonna be in the bathtub. We're gonna be in the bathtub. - Holding each other. - Okay. - Spoon feeding each other sperm. - Oh, oh, it's fucking hot. - Oh, yeah. - Wait, no, no, we gotta, this is the only way. - Is that what the milk is in neutral milk hotel? - That's not, yes. - So neutral sperm hotel is, okay, and it, and it'll be you looking at me and just tears flowing down and me dry-eyed going, fuck. - I'm not gonna be looking at you. - Why are you feeding me that on the spoon? - It'll be back-to-back, like the wicked game video with precisely, but instead of singing to you, I'll be spoon feeding each sperm. (laughing) - Oh shit, I've never seen this video. - Yeah, I don't know, I feel like we've had worse conversations at the end of an episode of The Bearest, but not many, this is weird. (laughing) This is just so I can feel emotion. I'm crying right now, I'm crying right now. - Stop crying from your dick, oh God. - You made me feel emotion. (laughing) Bottom's up. - Bottom's down. - Bottom's down. ♪ If Grant was on fire, no one can save me but you ♪ (gentle guitar music) ♪ And you're gonna cry when I'm finished with you ♪ (gentle guitar music) ♪ God never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you ♪ (gentle guitar music) ♪ God never dreamed that I'd share the best of with you ♪ (gentle guitar music) ♪ And I want you to fall in love ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ And I want you to fall in love ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ With you ♪ (gentle guitar music) ♪ With you ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ What a wicked game to play ♪ ♪ To make me feel this way ♪ ♪ What a wicked thing to do ♪ ♪ To make me bathe with you ♪ ♪ What a wicked thing to say ♪ ♪ You never cried this way ♪ ♪ What a wicked thing to do ♪ ♪ To make me dream of you and I ♪ ♪ Wanna fall in love ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ Wanna fall in love ♪ ♪ Wanna fall in love ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ With you ♪ - More information on the Beerists podcast, including show notes and pictures, visit thebeerists.com. Email us your feedback, comments, questions, and suggestions at info@thebeerists.com. Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/thebeerists and follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/thebeerists. Intro music was provided by Ian Butcher and his band Deflated Balor. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ein_butcher93. I'm John Rubio. Thanks again for listening. ♪ If land was on fire ♪ ♪ No one can save me but you ♪ ♪ It's my desire to make sticky men meet with you ♪ ♪ I'd never dream that I'd lose somebody like you ♪ ♪ And I'd never dream that I'd lose somebody like you ♪ ♪ No one ♪ ♪ Wanna fall in love ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ No one ♪ ♪ Wanna fall in love ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ With you ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ With you ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ No one ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ This world is only gonna make you look hard ♪ ♪ Nobody loves no ♪ This is something that's done. [BLANK_AUDIO]