I'm fucking glad it's 2014, fuck 2013. You still think it's 2013? No, 2013. Okay, so 2013 is on the sheet and I fucked that up, yes. Yes, you did. I'm glad it's not that fucking year anymore, that you're sucked. It was awful. This is the last year of our lives, guys. Yeah. The world ends in 2014. Does it? My end calendar and all that, man. I think people fucked up, they were thinking it was 2012, it was 2014. If you look at the Egyptian pyramids, there's these certain tunnels that go up and down for the peaks and lows of all time, and it ends in 2014. That's the end of the tunnel in the Great Pyramids, man. You know what's great about all that? All those cultures are fucking dead. And they don't know shit. And didn't Grant say he wasn't that guy from It's Always Sunny, that doesn't start with that guy? I think he is. As long as I'm not... Not Charlie Day! Oh, God. As long as you're not what? Sweet D. Okay, you're not sweet D. Thank God. Anyway, I'm John Rubio and with me today, it's Charlie. No, I'm Grant. How you doing, Grant? I'm doing well. Also, Mike Lambert. Michael? Indeed. We prefer you go by Michael now. Nice. It's a new year. Last but not least. Anastasia, not Sweet D. Kelly. I like how you completely spoiled your nickname before you said the nickname by saying, "I am not Sweet D." And then you just incorporated it into your name. Yeah, not Sweet D. Kelly. Oh, Sweet. Okay. Our nickname generally reinforces a joke she's made previously in the episode. That's true. Called the callback? Yeah, I'll call back to like 30 seconds before you did the thing. Hey, I have a short memory of span. So do snakes. What? Today, we're doing Old Mecklenburg Brewery or OMB for short. And one of our listeners, Sean Grogan sent these beers to us. Thanks, Sean. Yeah. Super fucking cool. Thank you, Sean. He sounded just like the intro. Thanks, Sean. Actually, all Rubio did was copy and paste me saying that from the intro. Brilliant. I'm going to hold off on thanking Sean until we try these beers. Oh, God. I just burped. I had some Eastside Kingford dinner. Oh, you look. And there's something that I ate was very garlicky. They opened that one on Lamar, and it's right on my way home. What? Yeah. South Lamar. There's one there. Oh, that's a new permanent one, right? Yes. It's a sit-down joint. So I went by there and I bought some food to go, brought it home with me, ate half of it in the car on the way home because I didn't have lunch. Of course. And I'm burping garlic now. Next time you have a burp. Can you just point at my direction? Yes. I will. That food is that good, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, yeah. Can you just burp in my butt? Okay. Yeah. I'll have to move some of the foliage. Oh, hey. That's true. Anyway, OMB. Like I said, Sean Grogan sent these beers to us, and OMB was founded in Charlotte, North Carolina in 2009 by John Marino. Isn't Marino a football player? That's Dan. Dan. Dan. And this is brother Ken as well. That's true. Right now. So John Marino spent a significant amount of time working in Germany and found a passion in making the types of beer he enjoyed while drinking there in Germany. At the time of this opening, OMB was the only brewery in Charlotte. And according to Sean Grogan, OMB continues to focus on brewing traditional German-style beers, and they don't distribute outside of 30-mile radius from the brewery. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Oh, so we kind of got these boot legged to us. Yeah. Maybe they don't even real beer. What? What? Once they pass that magical 30-mile radius, they suddenly lose their alcohol content. Or everybody over there is living in the village, that Shyamalan village. And it's like, "No, it's beer, but it's actually Kool-Aid shit." Yeah. Don't take the Kool-Aid. But before we get to the beers or the Kool-Aid, as it were, we got some emails to read. We got a lot of them. I know. We have a couple of weeks worth of emails to catch up on. See what happens when you get lazy? It's not that we got lazy. We had a Cypress Grove Chev Show, and then we did a fucking three-hour behemoth show for our Christmas episode. Yeah. Look what happens. This is the price you pay. It seems horrible. Anyway, does somebody want to read these, Mike? Sure. Why don't we all take turns? Okay. You guys take turns. My voice is all fucked up. You go first, Michael. Cool. So it starts out happy New Year's motherfuckers. Last week I invited a good friend over for a beer, too. It quickly escalated to just diving into my beer closet, opening bottle after bottle of shit I was trying to save for larger gatherings. The beers included old school, bourbon abominable, southern charred, firestorm walker 17, and three different bourbon county staff. Oh shit, dude. Hell yeah. It was awesome, but I woke up with the worst hangover. What's your go-to hangover here? Or simply just your go-to food and drink when your hangover feels like a gorilla just raped your head? And that was written just by Juan Lopez. Juan, okay. Don't drink. My first and foremost hangover cure is invite more people over to drink all that stuff. My hangover cure is just to keep fucking drinking. Just don't stop. I know. But that's not a good cure. That's just... You say that, but I've been parlaying this JBF hangover for months. Oh man. Okay. Here's my advice. It's not a cure. It's a preventative measure. If you know you're going to be drinking a lot, like more than just a couple of beers, eat a big, fatty fucking meal. Oh yeah. Telling you. Load up. Just carb load, drink a shit ton of water, maybe take some ibuprofen, and don't forget to drink water. Oh, big time. So one of the big meals that I'll have before a night of drinking is pizza. Pizza's great. It's greasy. Like get some fucking pepperoni pizza, something that's really fatty and really bready, and eat that and just keep drinking water. Drink water between every alcoholic drink, twice as much water as alcohol that you'll be drinking. I certainly haven't found this hangover cure yet. I will always wake up with the heart racing in the middle of the night, like around five o'clock in the morning, like all the sugars from the beer, but it's like every morning. Because it never happens to me. It makes you feel terrible. It happens to me. I read online that what you can do to help that is either drink pickle juice or have some peanut butter. So the other night I woke up and I was feeling pretty rough like that. So I ambled on into the kitchen, I had some pickle juice, I just started chugging it right out of the jar. And then I was like, I don't know if that's going to help. So I also ate a bunch of peanut butter, just like wads and wads of peanut butter. This is not a good idea. No, it didn't help. I know, just nothing it changed. And so I debunk those as being helpful. I think what helps me the most is just taking some aspirin, getting a power aid or a Gatorade bottle and just chugging it right in the morning and then going back to sleep for about another hour or hour and a half. Pretty much. You have rest and hydration are the two best things you can get for hangover. Just keep drinking. That's Mike's care. Don't listen to Mike. Mike just failed in his marriage. Don't take advice from that man. Can we even really trust his opinion on beer? No. Oh yeah, no. He just still has a good palate. Okay. I got something going for me. Oh God, you're a beautiful man and I'm going to read the next one. No, you're not. You can not take that away from me. I will punch you. It says, Hey, I want Anastasia to pour whiskey in my mouth and punch me in the face. Can we make that happen? Love J.R. J.R. J.R. That's amazing. Does he live here in Texas? I don't know. I don't know. I didn't look at who he was, but he does have my initials, but that's not me. Oh, I wouldn't even put that together unless you, oh, I can punch you in the face. No, you've done it. You've already punched me in the face before and I don't want it to happen again. Anastasia can probably punch you in the face on one condition. You let us record that and put it on the bearest. Oh God. She hits like a girl though. I am a fucking girl. That's true. Why wouldn't I hit like a girl? Don't open face slap. Oh yeah. I'm really good at those. Open face. Open handed. Yeah. Open face slap. Don't do it when their face is closed. You can really pull a muscle in their face. Just send yourself FedEx overnight in a box. Don't forget to poke holes. It's that you're into the whole sadomascan in the bag. Why do you also put yourself in the box as well? Anyway, thank you, J.R. Next email, go for a grand. Oh, round robin. All right. The bearest. On your Christmas episode, you questioned if your listeners drink along with you as they tried their selections of the show. Yeah. I think I said that. Yeah, you do. Even though I have an excellent beer shop within walking distance of my door. Who's a shout out to a Belmont party supplier in Dayton, Ohio? They, a lot of the time, do not carry the same beer to which you guys have access since I'm in the Midwest. I do on the other hand, try other craft beers as you guys critique and try to analyze them with you and the same drunken level of enthusiasm all over the place on how he has this one. Whatever. It's close enough. This has become a weekly tradition. I'm just bored to and hope to carry on for a long time as I listen to the revelries on hops and malts and all things spicy and beer. P.S. I made a recurring monthly donation that is not much since I am poor, but I hope it helps a bit to keep you guys running. That's really sweet. Joseph Bridges. Thank you, Joseph. Just ask your cousin, Jeff, for some money. Jeff Bridges. Oh, God. Nobody. Nobody. I thought you were talking to Ruby. I was like, do you have a Jeff Ruby? I was about to. Yeah. I was like, do I have a Jeff? That's Jay. Oh, God. Do I have a bunch of them in the mouth? Do I have a bunch of them in the poor? There's a lot of money. Wait. I think I just made them more violent. You punch them in the mouth and then pour whiskey in his face. What? Yeah. No, that's also not Joseph Bridges. But thank you, Joseph Bridges, and also all you other dear listeners, please give us monthly donations and make it recurring. Yeah, that helps. I wanted this email read for a reason. He mentions that he's in the Midwest, and he doesn't get a lot of the same beers that we talk about on the show. I just wanted to make it perfectly clear that we in Texas probably get fewer of the beers we talk about on the show than you get by a launch on it. Yeah. A lot of those beers that we get, we get because we trade with people or listeners will just donate beer to us. Really fucking sweet. It's a hard life. Well, we're going to get to that part later. So if you start your own beer podcast, you guys can probably get other people to send you beers well. Well, no, that's not what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. There are ways to get some of those beers when you're traveling. Just keep note of some of these beers that you want to try and where they're located in the country so that if you're in that area, if you've got friends in that area, you can set up some trades. It'd be interesting to see how often people actually wait to listen to one of our episodes so they can save up some of the beers and drink them alongside us. I don't know. But if some of you kids are doing that out there, please email us at info@thebearers.com. I mean, if nobody else is at least Joseph Bridgeses. That's really sweet. Thanks, Joseph. Let's move on to two more emails. We have two more. Mike, do you want to read one? All right. We've got one that starts off with salutations beer of files. Do you collect empty bottles or bottle caps or corks? I've been making a point to keep bottles of beers I've really enjoyed and/or are rare in my area, even if they aren't limited release or once brewed, especially if they are, like Wote Stout or 2012 Old Stock. And I must have over three dozen strong at this point. I've been saving bottle caps to eventually make a bar top as well as corks. Am I even more of a freak for taking it to this point? Cheers, Harrison, unhealthy obsession element. OK, that's not what makes this guy a fucking freak. [LAUGHTER] There's plenty of other shit that makes this guy a freak. Oh my god, what if he's JR? Wait, it's H.E. That's OK. You know how he likes nicknames? That's a good point too. First of all, empty bottles, bottle caps or corks. For me, I don't keep any of that shit because if I did, my house would be so full of fucking bottles and caps and shit. This guy drinks a lot. Yeah. You have a bottle house between your own personal consumption and then throwing these massive bottle share parties. Oh god. Geez, we did like 60 some odd bottles the other night? Is more. Just the one before the Christmas episode, the Christmas episode. Holy shit. Yeah, that was a clusterfuck of beer drinking. It really was. I end up keeping any unique caps. I don't have two of any type of capita. If it's a unique pattern on a cap, I try and hold on to those. I collect cool growlers and glassware and lingerie. Well, you also do labels. I did for a long time. Yeah, I got over that because that's a lot of alcohol. Yeah, you had a lot of scrapbooks just stuffed with labels. I think you called them seven notebooks. You a big jerk. What? Like the notebooks from seven. Oh yeah, yeah, they're like serial colored notebooks with instead of like people's face skin. And it was beer labels. Yeah, you just do a collect bottle caps and then hot glue them to magnets people. But now I don't have a glue gun. Just rewind back to that failed marriage part. Wow. I know what I'm getting, Mike. Wow. Yeah, so there goes that. I used to hot glue beer bottles by wife's head. And then she left. No, that's me. Thanks Harrison for the email. One more from Jake Johnston in a station. Oh, yes. I'm going to read this email, guys. Go. Hey, beerists. Back in October, I went to a great local beer festival in DC called Snallygaster. Wow. I haven't been to many festivals, but the sheer variety of beers is mind-boggling. I wanted to know some of your opinions on festivals such as drink all you want for an admission fee versus buying beer with tickets. How do you keep track of what you tried and what you like, how to find the good festivals in your area, and what your favorite festival was? Also, thanks for the advice on what to put in my new keg-erator. I first listened to the show while I was driving to pick up my keg of two-hearted ale. God damn it. Jake Johnston. Fuck you, Jake Johnston. Send the two-hearted to info@thebearest.com. Yeah, send an email that. Yeah, so there's a whole keg. So that was a number of questions. I think we should attack them. What do you prefer? Drink all you want versus beer tickets. Drink all you want. Drink all you want. Yeah, who likes beer tickets? Yeah, screw the beer ticket thing. It depends. If you pay more, I guess, because you can drink all you want, is it still worth it? Like, there's been some festivals or like events here that we've had that you don't pay admission or the admission that you do pay is for the glass, and it's not very expensive. It's like 10 bucks or something, and then you can get tickets if you want to go. I don't know, sometimes I don't always like the beer that they have. But JABF was like 85 bucks for the day. Yeah, so that's completely different. Like, if I actually had paid for JABF, I would have been fucking pissed off. When I see, you know, drink all you can for the admission or doing the drink ticket thing, normally I find that the pours on the drink tickets are a little bit bigger, just to get more bang for your buck, because normally they're charging a pretty hefty price per beer ticket is what it seems like. So, I don't know. It really kind of depends on what you like. You should just go to a bunch of festivals and figure it out. But for me, I think my kneejerk reaction of saying, "I don't like drink tickets," is because it really interrupts my flow when I have to stop doing what I'm doing to go stand in line to buy more tickets, to get back in line, to get more beer. I don't know, I just don't like that part about it, but there are pluses and minuses to both sides. Yeah, in terms of keeping track of the stuff that we've tried and what we like, I use Untapped on my phone. That's the paper trail for my alcoholism. How do you guys keep track of that type of stuff? I've used notebooks or I write it down, or I'll take a picture if it has the name of it, or I go to the festivals that list all the beers you're drinking and I'll circle what I had or put a smiley face or a frowny face, like the things I did or didn't like. I generally just forget what I'm drinking and then I'll find new other great beer. I'm actually with Grant. I don't keep any notes anymore or use Untapped or do any of that stuff. I have an Untapped account that I haven't touched in like two years. If it's something that I have that is worth remembering, I usually remember it. And if it's something that I had that I don't remember, it's for a reason. Which kind of lines up with my other thing, my other philosophy of trying things more than once. So if I don't remember having something and I try it again and I really like it, I'll remember it the second time. I think that's the difference though between you and I. You also have a decent memory. I forget, even important things. I don't remember when my kid was born. And that's what happens when lightning strikes you and they had twice. (laughing) Following a part, guys. I keep following you. I know, I'm sorry. Thanks for all the emails. And if anybody else listening wants to send us emails, do it at info@thebearest.com. We really appreciate it. We have some iTunes shout outs to read. Oh, hell yes. And I'll let you guys do that. Like I said, my voice is still kind of fucked up. All right, I'll kick this off. Go for it. Our first one comes from Basuada, who says about that mic guy. The only problem with this show is that I listen to it at work where I cannot drink as much as I'd like to. I know that guy, he works at the fruit stand. Just a not the local fruit. So he's using our iTunes reviews as a way to make an inside joke specifically to you. That's right. Fuck yourself, Basuada. (laughing) Yeah, fuck this fruit stand company. He got kind of meta. Thanks for the shout out, Basuada. Yeah, I guess, thanks. Next mic, go ahead. Damon Barbieri, another one of my friends. And he flocks. This was the only podcast he subscribes to. And that were hilarious, accessible, and informative. And that guy, Mike, I'm telling you, he's in my drum circle. And... (laughing) Thanks, Damon. Jeff Younger, another friend of Mike. (laughing) Says that our knowledge and ability to describe what we're experiencing has often been the nudge he's needed in order to try a new beer or brewery. He also said that we're the beer in... (humming) Enthusiast? He also said that we're the beer enthusiast friends he doesn't have in real life. Aww, that's sad. Mike will be your friend. Forever alone, Jeff Younger. Jeff Younger. Find some fucking beer enthusiast friends. It's awesome. Jesse James with Z says, he is sure he wasn't the only one who was singing along with Boyz II Man. Jam from the Cypress, that would be... Wow, how many words did you just use? All right, and the next one. Jesse James is sure that he's the only one who he wasn't the only one. Fuck. (laughing) Show, I'm out. Got it. So Jesse James is sure he wasn't the only one who was singing along to Boyz II. (laughing) I forgot this. Oh my gosh. Jesse James with Z is sure he wasn't the only one who was singing along to the Boyz II Man, Jam from the Cypress Grove Chef episode. Cheers to another year of the beerist. Cheers, motherfucker. Wow, red. Yeah, very well red. I almost lost it at the end there, guys. (laughing) These guys lost it at the beginning. I'm actually gonna leave that in, 'cause that was awesome. Jesse James with Z, yeah, you were the only one singing along to Boyz II Man. But weren't we all singing, did I start that, Jam? Was that me? We did it because it was funny. Jesse James did it 'cause his last name ends with a Z. Like Boyz II Man. I was even singing along with myself. Okay, that's a good point. Thanks, Jesse James, I agree. It's a fucking awesome jam. Slow jam, dick moves. Mm-hmm. Dick moves. (laughing) Isn't it? Total dick moves. Hey, hey, let's move on. ♪ Working on the dick moves ♪ If any of you guys wanna do this for us, it is really helpful. If you get onto the iTunes music store, do a search for the beerists, leave a five-star rating and write a review for us. And when you write that review, I can see your name and I'll thank you for it on the show. Like I did with these last four people. Like we did for these last four people. One of them you said, "Fuck you two." I mean-- Oh, wait. I don't know how that went. Wait, you guys, I have a shout out, I wanna give. Okay, what is it? There was this guy on Instagram, and he posted a picture of Orval, and he tagged us in it. Nice. And he said, "I never would have tried this without you guys talking about it." Cool. And his name is Steve Papalardo. Nailed it. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, Steve Papalardo. Thank you, Steve Papalardo. Thank you, Steve Papalardo. I love you so much. I'm sorry if I messed up your name, Steve. Oh, God, no, you made it better. Thanks, Steve Papalardo. And if you wanna interact with us on Instagram, mainly Anastasia is the one that manages the Instagram page. You're the only one hipster enough for it. Yes, the name on Instagram is just the bearest one word. And one thing that we tried to do for the new year was get a bunch of donations, $5 donations. We asked to see how many people would send us $5 donations. See how many people cared enough to send us $5 donations. And a few people care, it seems. We got a list of carers. Yeah, it's a pretty good list. It's heartening. Yeah, I mean, I'm actually gonna read these out. Awesome. Can you read them really, really fast and conically? I mean, my voice is all fucked up, but you know what? I feel really good about this list. I like this list. I'm gonna fuck up a lot of these names 'cause some of them sound like Star Wars aliens. Okay. Dylan Vernal, thank you so much. Matthew Elam, thank you. Joe Money. Dude, Joe Money sends us beer and then he also sent us $30. Oh, God, you're trying to kill us. You guys don't see it. Yeah, some of these people sent us more than $5. Joe Money sent us $30. That first guy, Dylan Vernal sent us $10. Fucking awesome. Jeffrey Younger sent us $10. Thank you so much, Jeffrey. Steve Guzman Hernandez, president of Mexico sent us $10. What does that say? Oh, sorry, that's Dan Graves, I think. Dan Graves. Dan Graves, that's one of the ones that sounds like Star Wars, Dylan. Yeah. Dan Graves, thank you for your $5. Nine Terrains, who is Ivy Lee. Remember Ivy? Yeah, Ivy's fucking awesome. Thank you so much. Carol Franklin is a friend of ours. Fucking awesome, Carol, thank you. And then Reiner and Lambert. My dad sent us $10. That's your dad. Hell yeah. Holy shit. He's contributing to my delinquency. He's just sending us a Reiner? It is. That's a good name. Thank you, sir, for copulating and producing Michael. Yeah, when I first read that, I thought it was Rainier, Lemba, really? I was like, wow, French people. Brett Andrea, thank you so much for your $5. Jesse Younger as well. Paul Gregory, $10. Thank you so much, Paul. Eric Martin sent us $20. Jonathan Murphy sent us $5. Juan Lopez sent us money. Kayla Kromer sent us money. Thank you so much, Kayla. Tina Easter. Holy shit, Tina. How are you? $100. She's $100. That's fucking awesome. Made my fucking week. Maybe she does a lot of people to know because it's drug money. Maybe. Tina, I love you. Holy make your week. I paid for your week. Yeah. Well, yeah, kind of. Almost a week of an episode. Yeah. Keep telling drugs, Tina. Yeah, Tina, thank you so much. Courtney Kintz, thank you so much. Elliot Fontenette, we know that guy. Michael Pearson, thank you. Seth Dumbock, thank you, Seth. Michael Moreno, thanks Michael. Chris Alfred, thank you. Greg Ramirez sent us $50. Fuck yeah. This guy has sent us around $200, $250 total over the span of the show. Excellent. He is awesome. Greg, I know you live in Waco. Come hang out with us in point. I will take you out for drinks. You're fucking awesome. Oh yeah, fuck yeah. Miguel de Luna. Hell yeah, we know that guy. Yeah, he was on the last episode. Thank you so much. He sent us $10. Terrence Helsten. Herd Liska. Terrence Herd Liska. Thank you. Terrence Herd Liska. It's another one of those Star Wars. Yeah, Star Wars. Terrence, thank you so much for your $5. Bennett Peters as well. Christopher Ling, thank you. Michael Sardino, thank you. Jose Rodriguez, thank you so much. I'm just going to Spanish that one right up. Yeah, I didn't know that. Sarah Wood, thank you so much. Let me know, Sarah, if you've been here. Stepping Paps. Oh, here I can white that up. OK. Stepping Paps. Stepping Paps. Thank you so much. Stepping Paps. Can you Mexican better? That was more Swedish. Stepping Paps. That's how you said it in Spanish. Evan Wasolek. Evan Wasolek. Yeah, that's where Chewbacca was from. Pastic, my friend. Oh, yes. Evan, thank you so much for your money. Jason Glenn, thank you. Charles Murray, thank you. And Michael Green also said this 10 bucks. Thank you so much, guys. It's a Christmas miracle. I know. And we also have reoccurring donations from Ashcan Abu Sayedi. Thank you. Dude, you got really good, actually, saying that name right now. I know. I think that I'm on some kind of watch list now. I can pronounce that guy's name. Joseph Sibley Bridges, thank you so much. And Andy Hampton. Those three guys are three guys who are doing reoccurring donations. And we appreciate the hell out of that. And other people can do reoccurring donations as well. Yes, yes. And the way you do that is if you go to thebearest.com on the left hand side of the page, you'll notice a PayPal donate link. Click on it and send us money. Like, it's really easy. You could use funds from your PayPal account or a credit card or an e-check. Please do that. We were talking about this earlier. And I spend between $250 to $300 a month on this show. We raised $410. This whole list of names is $410. That's almost two months worth of shows. So, yeah, keep it coming. It really, really helps. We really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thanks, guys. Let's move on to our beers. Oh, and be. God, please. We had a lot of shit to get through. And you had to thank every person individually. That's very noble of you. You have to. You know, we recorded for two hours, but he's going to cut it down to probably about like 25 minutes. So that's not bad. Fuck. Anyway, OMB, old meckleberg, mecklenberg, the oldie mecklebergie brewery. Yeah. Uh, thanks so much. Yay, old mecklebergenbrian. Like I said, they're from Charlotte, North Carolina. And the first beer we're having from them is Captain James Jack, which is a Pilsner. It's 4.8% ABV, 27 IBUs. And it's a year-round offering available in bottles and on draft. A classic Northern German pills, the straw-colored logger is crisp and smooth, with a subtle yet assertive hoppiness that doesn't overwhelm your palate, or the beer's malt backbone. OMB developed this smooth refreshing Pilsner beer as our salute to the spirit, courage and resolve of Captain Jack and the members of the mecklenberg convention. Look at this beer. This is fucking gorgeous. I know, it's totally clear, golden. Strong, like they said, lemony. I miss summer. I know. I was so excited about this fucking show because I've been having so many like sours and barrel aged things. And I looked at this and it's all low ABV beers. German style, awesome traditional beers. And I'm so ready for this. Great little bit ahead that stays too. I know. It's a gorgeous beer. It's gorgeous. It smells-- It smells nice. It smells fantastic. Farts. Pilsnery malt. Yeah, very crackery pepper. Yeah, right? It's a little light pepperiness. A little pepper, a little bit of grass. But just a really crackery, a little bit of maybe red apples and some noble hops, just grassy continental hops. Smells really clean. Oh, whoops. It slipped into my mouth, guys. So how many times have you said that in your life? How many blind dates? Oh, man. When I'm working out at the rest stop. Yeah, but I'm pretending to be blind. You got to earn a ride to work somehow. This is delicious. Yeah, this is really tasty. First impression of sips is cracker. Lots of cracker. But it's a spicy kind of peppery pilsner, which is nice. I get a little bit of salt as well. There's savoriness to this. So I get a little copper or iron, a little blood. Really? Yeah, a little bit. A little metallic, I guess. A tinge. It's got a kind of a nice crispness on the back end, too. Right. It drinks really smooth. The mouth feel it's pretty light. Yeah, and there's a lot of carbonic acid, a lot of that carbon dioxide acid that you get from mineral water. It is kind of minerally your tongue. And like I said, there's a slight spiciness to the hop here that's really interesting. A little bit of peppery hop, I guess. I don't know. Paper. It's a very papery taste as well. I like old book. OK. And for the listeners out there who are interested, this was bottled November 27th of this year, of this past year. So just a little over a month old. Yeah. Well, one of the things that this guy said, Sean Grogan, said that since their distribution isn't that wide, their stuff is always fresh. And it's great that they bottledate. I think they bottledate everything. I think so, too. Yeah, that's a fantastic practice. Thank you, OMB for doing that. What a nice clean pilsner. And it's got more flavor than I would expect in a pilsner. It's a bit fuller in flavor, I think. But it's still really clean and delicious. It's got like a spiciness that's similar to rye, which is weird. I gotcha. I also say kind of like those one rye Jewish crackers. Yeah, right. But I can't remember the name of right now. I could easily drink this entire bomber to myself. Simple. I kind of want to watch. So this Captain James Jack has something to do with declarations of independence and shit like that. No one cares. Thank you. I hope that came for this history lesson. Well, it's not listed on the side of the bottle, but it's just really wordy. Yeah, it's a whole book written on the side of that bottle. And all these bottles, they're all 22 ounce bombers. And there's a big shield-looking shape on the front with the letters OMB, really big on the front. Like, that's the dominant thing on the front of the bottle. Completely emblazoned there. It's going to sound a little bitchy. But when I saw the labels, it's like the higher gloss, thicker, kind of plasticky label that makes me always think it's cheaper. It's like a cheaper type of label that you can get. The labeling really did strike me as like one of those variety pack beers that you get from like Sam's Club or something. Yeah, like a Trader Joe's shelf brand or something. But to its credit, the two that we've had so far has been really, really great. We had one off mic. Yeah, we had the Mactoberfest before we started recording, and that's their merits in Octoberfest. And it was good. It was very good. Delicious beer. We all drank that together before we started recording. And I really loved the biscuity malt caramel and spice. Oh, so good. It's really rare that you run into a really good Octoberfest. And I thought that that was one. And this was a good Pilsner to go along with. Yeah, this is just a really well-done Pilsner. And both of these beers have been kind of spicy, which is interesting. I like that. This puts the B in the front of OMB. Wow. Did you just make bomb? Yeah, it's a spelling joke for you guys as well. This beer is the ombo, fuck you. Might be the only one that keeps getting that one song stuck in their head. Which one? I don't know how it goes. You are the only one that. Then there's nobody getting that song stuck in their head. Really? Yeah, that one song. Everybody knows that one song. How is it stuck in your head and you don't know what it is? Because I can't actually hear what my head is saying. Was it in reference to something we were saying? Yeah, it's got the initials in it. OMB? Not the same ones, but initials. It's like different initials. You need to go see a doctor. You have a fucking brain tumor. Is it a song by ODB? Maybe. Maybe. I should have known for that. You have not. What? We had the same problem with Bill Brink on The Christmas Show. Oh, hold up. Is this a transformer back here? Put that Voltron in. I quit. Go fuck yourself. You're an asshole. That was a low blow. That was so low. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm going to punch you in the face, J.R. I apologize. What a fuck. Put some whiskey in my mouth first. Yes. Anyway, that was Captain James Jack Pilsner. And the next beer that we're having is called Copper. And it's their amber ale. One thing is to call it amber. And Copper is 4.8% ABV, 31 IBUs. And it's a year round offering available in bottles and on draft. And OMB Copper is an authentic Dusseldorf style alt beer. Alt literally means old in German is an old school. In other words, it's beer the old fashioned way. Technically, OMB Copper is an ale due to the type of yeast it's made from. However, a long time ago, the folks in Dusseldorf learned that by lagering their alt for several weeks after primary fermentation, they could produce a full flavored yet crisper, cleaner, smoother, and more refreshing beer. OMB uses authentic ingredients in our copper alt beer, including expensive but worth it, noble Bavarian hops. Excellent. And look at this beer. Just like the first one, it is absolutely gorgeous. Super clear. Completely clear. And that's why they call it copper. Because it's copper. It's copper. It's copper. Great little head again. Oh, yeah. What a rich, beautiful copper that is. This is leaving behind some pretty nice lacing, actually. Oh, it smells all those hops. Everything smells like farts to me. Even this one. To be fair, so far in all these beers, it's all been noble hops. And sometimes noble hops have a slightly farty-- A little musty, grassy, musty sort of thing going on. And to also be fair, we've all been ripping ass like we're having. I just thought it was my tumor acting up. Good day. Well, Anastasia keeps shoving towels underneath the door, so it's not going anywhere. Crackery again. It's a little bit earthier than the last one, too. I was getting kind of like peanutty. I don't say peanut brittle. Roasted peanuts. I can totally get that. Red clay. Not the sweetness of peanut brittle. Red clay. Red clay. I could totally see that actually. Oh, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. [LAUGHTER] It's so good. You asked me to blow it in your face next time. It was not as good. Sorry. I'm soaked. He's crying. Oh, my eyes. At least I waited for it to be a real one. What the fuck was that? What's in there? That wasn't the fucking-- you said Kingburg. It's burning. It was garlicky. Anyway. OK, wheat stock. That's the farmers they would typically have between their teeth. Totally. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. There's just something muted and not quite hey, but there's something that's husky. Yeah, husky or hey, Bailey. Yeah, whole grain bread, also. Yeah, it smells a little bit like Ruby has pants. Husky. [LAUGHTER] I'll try to drink those. That's delicious. And it's really good. Wow. That is so easy drinking. It's not very happy. So clean. It's very clean, up beer. It does not fall into the same pitfalls as other amber beers tend to. No. This is incredibly clean. Extremely balanced. To me, an alt beer should have a really nice, multi-front end. And then it should finish clean, slightly better with some noble hops. This does it in spades. Yeah, it's exactly what's going on. It tastes very grainy, like everyone's saying wheat. I get some corn, like a candied corn, like a sweeter corn. Lots of bread, too. Lots of bread. Uh-huh. Well, the bitterness and the breadiness of the malt do this beautiful tengo of flavor dancing in my mouth. And I love that it's not really sweet. No, at all. I think a lot of alt beers, at least American interpretation, kind of get it wrong there. This is so incredibly clean. This is fantastic. It's grainy and bready. It's got an earthiness that I wasn't expecting. You guys don't get a sweetness from this. There's a hint that's there, but it's really underlying and just because of the balance. It's certainly not dominant, but I think there's a sweetness. I definitely pick it up as well. There's a sweet flavor a little bit, but it doesn't feel sweet. It doesn't sweeten my mouth up like a really multi-beard normally does. So the front end of it is like crusty kind of bread. And then that shifts into a slight sweetness, but then it dissolves away into that nice bitter hop finish. It's definitely there, but it's underlying everything else. And it's not bowling you over with sweetness, which I love. Yeah. Definitely hits in the back of the syrup before it goes down. It's a little herbal, too. I'm having a little bit of trouble because I had the flu about a week ago and I'm still managing the mucus. Wow. So, I mean, it's when my voice is all fucked up. And that's why I can't really smell as well as I usually do. It's good because I've been ripping farts all night. He burping, man. It's terrible. But this, it's interesting. Like I said, there's more going on than what we've described so far. There's an herbal quality there, something that's tea-like. And there's a fruit, I don't know what that is. Like there's like a fruit or a vegetal note that I'm getting that I can't put my finger on. OK. I just exhaled into the glass as I was about to take a sniff. And something hit me. It's like popcorn kernels. OK. It's just the husk of the corn kernel itself after it's been popped, maybe with like a slight burnt kind of note to it. OK. I'm picking up what you're putting down. Yeah. That was just odd and kind of jumped out to me. And I was like, that was oddly like popcorn. In a really good way, not in a pejorative sense at all. I find that the sweetness I was talking about earlier seems to be building as I drink it. And it kind of reminds me of kettle corn. OK. It's like a lightly sweet popcorn. OK. Yeah, totally. But also, something about this seems to be giving me a little bit of a headache. Weird. And maybe I'm wrong, but like I was saying, I thought it was like this corn-surpee, something rather going on here. Yeah, I don't really get that at all. I'm done. That's OK. I really like this. I don't know what it is I'm missing here. I wish my nose was completely clear. Like all of us have sniffly noses. I know. It's something like Earl Grey tea with some other spice in there. And I can't put my fucking finger on it. Maybe, honey, like, I don't know. There's something that-- ah, fuck. Honey's more likely. And for the listeners out there that are keeping track, this bottle was bottled on December 3rd of this past year. Sweet. I'm going to pour mine out. I'll take it. OK. Just give it to me. Well, that was copper, which was their amber ale. Thank you so much for that, Sean. I like that a lot. This is fantastic so far. So up next is the last beer for this first segment. This is Yulebok, Y-U-L-E-B-O-C-K. And it's a Christmas bok. It's 7% ABV, 30 IBUs. And it's a December release available in bottles and on draft. This holiday treat is an authentic German style. What the fuck? [LAUGHTER] Go ahead, one try. You're one try to say. Why Knoxbok, bok? Your mom. Why Knoxbok, bok? Yeah, that's what you said. That's right. Why Knoxbok, bok? It sounds like the beginning of a joke. Right. Why Knoxbok, bok? It's in the other side. Yeah, it's the chicken bok. Why Knoxbok, bok means Christmas bok? [LAUGHTER] I can't say that with a straight face. It's a deep amber color with just a hint of holiday crimson and it's derived from select combination of premium European barley malts. Noble hops provide just the right balance of its pronounced multi-character. This full-bodied, multi-smooth winter lager will provide a touch of warmth to contrast the cold winter weather. This was bottled on November 27, 2013. Another gorgeous beer. Wow. Luminescent copper. They beat us to the descriptions, too. It's just frims andy. It's just slightly brighter than the last beer that we just had. Maybe a little bit more to the highlights. And again, real nice wispy head. Man, that smells so good. Oh, wow. It smells like candy farts. Yeah, candy and honey and fruitcake. Ooh, like those weird-- oh my god, I suck at descriptions. Those candies that look like wiggly lines. Oh, like those ribbon candies. The ribbon candies. Yeah, the ribbon candies. Yeah. The hard candies. Those candies that look like it was scumbly lines. I suck at descriptions. Good. Marsa Pan. Yes. Something eggnoggy like nutmeg in here. Oh, totally. Yeah, and it's fruitier than the last beer, living in the copper. Pomegranate. Yeah. When you said fruitcake, I was like, that's perfect. Hibiscus tea? Something floral. Oh, hibiscus fucking nails that better than pomegranate, I think. Yeah. Hibiscus is a lot closer. Now, this smells really good. Oh, it smells so good. It's so delicate smelling almost. Oh, that's really clean. Wow. It's funny because I don't get quite as much flavor as I do aroma. It's pretty restrained. And there's-- OK, so it tastes like a dry boc, which is weird, because bocs are-- you know, they tend to be a little sweet. This is a very dry-- all these beers have been really dry. The mouth feel on all of these beers has been absolutely incredible. Insanely easy to drink. Yeah. But I'm getting some caramely malts. Another spicy bread note. I mean, it's like spicy bread. In comparison to the nose, I'm kind of disappointed with the taste of this. Yeah, it's a little bit-- Me too. It's a little bit more bland. There's some caramel notes. Like you said, caramel bready. It's some kind of cardboardy about it that it doesn't strike me as exciting as the Christmas notes we respond. Yeah, I don't think it's as exciting as the nose. But what I am tasting is good. Like, it's not a bad beer. I can drink the shit out of this. It's extremely balanced. Very balanced. And it doesn't drink like a 7% beer. No, it doesn't. It drinks like a 5% beer. It tastes a lot to me like breakfast bread. God damn it, get out of my head. What's a breakfast bread? It's reminiscent of fruitcake, but it's not as sweet. It will have like dried fruits and nuts mixed throughout. But it's like a flamos. Yeah, it's like a French loaf with all these plums and apples and raisins and nuts baked into it. And maybe some sugar up on the top. Big sugar crystals baked on the top. It's a grainy bread a lot of times it's weak. Why do people do this? It's delicious. It's delicious? OK, I guess that's a good reason. Sometimes there's cinnamon mixed in. If I can't get it at McDonald's, I've never heard of it. Does it come in a biscuit format? No, McGriddle format? No, it takes a chicken strip into that. I'm sure you could. Yeah, and I'm game. Somebody should get on that chicken strip inside the breakfast bread. Even compared to the first two, it doesn't have that same depth and complexity. It just seems to get in your mouth, take this ride down your tongue strip, and then go down your throat. Right, yeah. It doesn't sing. It doesn't dance. It doesn't do a lusty tango. It doesn't jump up and down. It's just like, hey, guys, I'm here. I'm not bad, but it's Christmas. I got to spend time with you. Let's just get drunk. So how familiar are you guys with Wine's Knock by Fox? I'm not. [LAUGHTER] AKA Christmas Box. Oh, fuck you. I just wonder if this is actually what the style is, because if we look at the past three beers we had previous to this, including the one we had off Mike, the Marcin, as I said it, and the pills are in the amber, they seem to be really nailing the style. Yeah. So I wonder if, just because we have an expectation that that nose should match the body, maybe this is very dead onto what the style is. It might be based on the other stuff that I've been tasting. They've nailed style, maybe gone a little bit spicier than-- But not too crazy. No, no, no, not crazy. Still pretty restrained. Yeah, but I don't know why. This beer's really kind of lackluster for me. I take a sip, and I get some really cool fruitcake breakfast bread, and then it just kind of mutes out, and then goes away in a unceremonious sort of way. The one thing that's detracting for me is the sweetness. There's a little bit more of a pronounced sweetness than the previous beers that we've had. It's the one thing that's maybe a little out of balance-- It tastes like a cheap sweetness, doesn't it? Like processed candy or something like that? Yeah. To me, just-- But it's not as sweet as something like that. It just gives the impression of that. Exactly. I mean, this is still a very restrained beer. And they could have gone way over the top with the sweetness. But just by comparison, having had the Mactoberfest, the Captain James Jack, and the copper, those were so awesomely restrained and balanced and just awesome. Those were more my style. All said and done, the old block is not a bad beer. I still think it's a tasty beer. It's just not to my taste. I agree. Let's take a break. OK. Oh, yeah. Break sounds great. All right, sounds good. Hold on. No. No. Let's take a break before this-- Did your heart stop? Did your heart stop? Is that what's going on? Point it elsewhere. Is the burp happening? No, point it elsewhere. You won them. I regretted it. Someone else might be interested. No. Mike? No, I didn't say anything like that. I got some eager anticipation. No, I'm just saying here we go. Stop it. She's going to-- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. How was that? Break. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] At the host of Stephen Foster at the Hotel Paradise, this is what I told him as I gazed into his eyes. The rooms were made for carpets, the towers made for spires, ships were made for cannonades to fire off from inside them. [MUSIC PLAYING] Cam Town ladies never sang all of them. I can put my whole fist in my mouth. [MUSIC PLAYING] What's up, ladies? Are we recording it? Yeah. That was great. OK, so I started recording while Grant and Anastasia were trying to put their entire glass in their mouth. Oh, it hurt. I have a tiny-- I do do that. I can put my whole fist in my mouth. I have like a circus mouth. I have a circus mouth. I can fit so many clowns inside of that. Yeah. [MUSIC PLAYING] Have you seen that website that he's on? Yeah. There's a video of just like all these different clown dicks going into his mouth. Like it's a magical. What do they have to be clown dicks? Can they just be clowns? This is like 20 clown dicks. I'm like full on clowns. And he's juggling the entire time. Oh, that's awesome. Juggling all their balls. OK. We're going to move on to the next beer. Hey, OMB, I hope you guys are enjoying the show. Bring your beers. This next beer is Dunkle, 4.9% ABV, 28 IBUs. And it's a winter release available in bottles and on draft. Dunkle is a Munich-style dark winter lager. Smooth with a roasted malt flavor, courtesy of dark Munich and Carafamalt. Dunkle will please your palate as it warms your spirit. It could be the perfect answer to a dark cold winter's day. If you're looking for a beer that has substantial body and flavor, yet remains very smooth and easy drinking, choose Dunkle. And if it's winter, apparently goodness. That's a good reason. In his summer, you're like, I choose Dunkle. They're like, you choose sorry. This is a dark brown. Yeah, it's almost a mahogany cherry wood. It's got a bit of a reddish tinge to the brown. Pretty much as transparent as all the other ones that we've had. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, it looks almost like a cognac or something. Absolutely. So, going into the smelling portion here. What are we getting there? Bread and golden raisin. Golden raisin, that's a good call. Yeah, there's a sweet, fruity note. Dates, caramel apple or something, kind of apple. Yeah, dating. I can't smell smells anymore. I can only smell objects. Okay, let's take a towel here. Now you can't smell and you can't describe. These are two vital characteristics we need from you. I don't know. This smells like Victorian lace, but not what Victorian lace smells like, what Victorian lace looks like. Oh, this smells like what Victorian lace looks like. Yes. How much acid did you have before you got here? None of it. Can I buy some from you? You want to lick my tongue? Can I take a picture real quick? Yeah, I kind of do. Your tongue tastes like colors. Grassy, it's very grassy too. It is. And this does have quite a bit more rich caramel-y malts than the last few. A little plum-y? Mm-hmm, yeah. They have Victorian lace, but plum-y is what you get from me. This is pretty good. It's really clean and mineral-y. I'm wondering if this is still too cold. It might be, 'cause I'm really not picking up all that much in the flavor department here with this one. No, it's very subtle. Yeah, kind of molasses-y. A little bit, yeah. Very light. I got a thickness. It's much thicker than the previous boost we had. Mm-hmm. Something kind of Mealy Corn Bread-y, I don't know. Yeah, Mealy, Red Apple-y, Corn Bread-y. Fig Newton's. Oh, totally. That hits with that whole date thing, but with a nice, sweet, bread-y crust. Yeah, and all of that stuff is there, but it's very light. Mm-hmm. It's more of a soda water version of that. Is there a name for Fig Newton's that's like, not brand name, like what that thing is? Ah, it's cookies and cake. It's like a- It's fruit and cake, man. I'm cake-dick. Is this a fruit and cake? Is this fruit and cake-dick? Fruit and cake-dick. That sounds really disgusting. I understand why they went with Fig Newton. Yeah, that was actually the name of a club I used to go to. (laughing) Mike's laughing 'cause he went there. (laughing) I met him there. (laughing) Hey, bro, sweet dick. We should do a podcast-goer. Sweet-dick, bro. Oh, man. Super-sweet-dick. I didn't know it was Rubio at first. Yeah. And then he's like, "There's notes of hibiscus in this cock." And I was like, (laughing) "We should hang out." You have a good pallet. Yeah, you have a totally good pallet. (laughing) "Did you drink a Haritos like in the last four hours?" And I'm like, "Yeah?" (laughing) It was the tamarind one. I knew it right off the bat. (laughing) Sorry. Anyway, so this- Dunkle. (laughing) I think our other conversation was a bit more interesting and descriptive. Right. So as it warms up, I've been warming it up in my hands. I'm getting a little bit of a gingerbread note. Seems to be popping out a little bit more in the aroma as well. Yeah. Apples, gingerbread. I guess, like, nutty note, like pecan. Sure. This is kind of what I imagined that you will bock to taste like. Yeah, this is what I wish you'll bock was. Yes. I would be disappointed if it also tastes like this. I think this is good for a being called a Dunkle. It's a fine Dunkle. It's not mind blowing. Again, yeah, this is not a bock. You got a good point. This is not a bock. If this is called you'll bock, it'd be like, "Why is this you'll bock?" You'll Dunkle? Fuck yeah. Yeah. This should be their special Christmas beer. But it also doesn't- I mean, I don't know. I don't get a lot of Christmas notes from it. What's a winter lager? Sure. And I want meat in my mouth. Go to that one club that I met Mike at. Fruitcake dick. It was called- No, I wanted- Fruitcake dick. Fruitcake dick dick. I think I'd like to drink some sausage. (laughing) You don't drink sausage. You drink sausage. (laughing) It's all going downhill. This is so good. (laughing) It's going downhill. (laughing) Wow. You know, I want sausage with this. Yeah. I understand that. That's it. What kind? Like a pasta? I'm trying to think. Yeah. Gilbasa sounds really good with this. Maybe like a pork sausage with spices. Maybe some caraway and fennel and you would eat it. Maybe with some bread, like a pepper bun. What are those? Like a sesame roll or something? Is that a German thing? I don't know. So funny that you act like you're divining this. Anyway, from beyond, it's calling to you this sausage. It is. I can actually, there's a sausage in my mind right now. You're the John Edwards of beer pairings. Ooh, I may, maybe some grilled onions so they get that kind of sweetness. Oh yeah. I think the sweetness would go with the sweetness that's sort of here from the mall. You can totally cook sausages in this beer. Yes, that too. I want a pretzel with this. Yes. Guys, I'm hungry. Pretzel with beer cheese and this fucking shit. Yes. I was just thinking that from Easy Tiger. Oh yeah. This beer is awesome. I really like this a lot. Again, very easy to drink. Super easy. And this bottle was bottled on November 20th of last year. All really fresh. Thanks, Sean. Did we meet Sean Groban? No. Josh Groban. That's what I was thinking. Josh Groban. I didn't meet Josh Groban either. That was funny. Yeah, I never met him either. What the fuck? I don't know. Hey, Sage, you gave me some of that acid or like what was Groban. Stop licking my tongue. Anyway, let's move on to the next one because Dunkle, I thought, was really good. And the final beer for the evening. It's a final character. Yeah. Final beer for the evening is Barnbach. Barn, Barnbach, B-A-U-E-R-N. That's Bowernbach. Barnbach, like Jack Bowern. So Barnbach is not a Weistensternbach, buck, buck, buck. It's a 7.5% ABV 30 IBU Farmers' buck. It's a holiday beer. They call it a country buck. It's a November release, available in bottles on draft. It'll be sure to instill the harvest season spirit in you. A German-style double-block lager. For some reason, my brain went straight to a guy fingering his dickhole. No, God damn it. This is great. I love harvest season. I don't know why. Sorry. German-style double-block lager, Barnbach, Barnbach, is a rich and multi-- I'm really drunk. Barnbach is rich and multi with a deep amber-colored match the changing colors of the fall season. It's also OMB's biggest beer at 7.5% ABV. A great compliment to your Thanksgiving day menu. You know, at the beginning of this episode, Barnbach, that's really excited because all of these beers are low ABV, and we're still, like, stupid drunk. How is it happening? Very soft, yeah. I don't know, speak for yourselves. I need a glass from Grant. I did try to speak for myself. I said, Guy fingering his dickhole. Why shouldn't John Buck, Buck, Buck, Barnbach? I think Barnbach is the name of the guy that fingers his butthole. Barnbach? Hey, it's a different hole. I'm sorry. Maybe he does one than the other. I'm sorry, OMB. Yeah, you know me. Is that the song that you were thinking of that the entire time? Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Oh, fuck. You're down with other people's pussy. That's great. Barnbach. OK, let's check out this Barnbach. That's a nice red. When you hold that right up to the light, I love the reddish brown. Oh, yeah. Red, brown, very saturated in color. Completely transparent. Oh, it smells good. It smells like a buck. Oh, yeah. It smells like fur roll-up. It's very muddy. Nailed it, Grant. Grant, you nailed it. Oh. I totally also smell that, Grant. Oh, I got none of us in a bag and you're like, ah, yeah. It smells like a fruit roll-up. It smells like-- It's very caramely. Caramely caramel apple. It is fruity. I'd like to go back to when Grant said fruit roll. I thought that was actually a pretty good call. Hey, you guys, that smells like fruit leather. Yeah, yeah, totally anesthesia. I agree with you. Whatever. That's the same thing. I hate you guys. Oh, man. So the breadiness in this, I'm having a hard time nailing down what kind of breadiness I'm getting out of this, but-- Oh, fuck. I pulled a grant. You doing a Grant dip? Did you finger your dick hole? It's not a grant. Oh, man. I thought that was a Grant dip. No, it's when you dip your nose into the beer. Oh, fuck. OK. You did the Grant dip. Yeah. The Grant Davis dip is the other thing. I prefer that not to be in that thing. Well, that's a thing. The Davis dip. It's going to go on-- I think that's the ramp to gravis. One of our listeners is going to urban dictionary because Davis-- Why would they do that? Oh, God. It would be again. No. What have you guys do? Please don't get on urban dictionary. [LAUGHTER] And say that that-- And call-- The "Dramp" gravis. Fingering your dick called the Davis dip. Don't do that. [LAUGHTER] To him and his legacy. You're never going to be able to run for office. Now, don't include other details about his life. Like, he'll never be able to run for office. And try every day-- On the beer stack calm. The beer stack calm. He is the childy day of the beer stack calm. He's got Superman socks. Yeah. That's a really-- With capes. Do you really? I do. Yeah, don't please don't go on to urban dictionary and make that a thing. More than one of you. [LAUGHTER] What's the website again? Urbandictionary.com. Don't go there and put Davis dip. OK, whoa. His finger in your dick hole. Oh, look. You're on it already? Oh, I'm really on it. He's already doing it. Stop it. OK, let's get back to the screen. I'm really glad that's getting edited out of this episode. [LAUGHTER] What's the funny thing about that is I can tell you that it was. And you never know who you're going to listen to it. [LAUGHTER] Dammit. Oh, pay attention to me, pay attention to me, pay attention to me. Whoa, whoa. That quince paste. Oh. Yeah, memoria. What is quince paste and memoria? It's a fruit. Quince is a fruit. Like a rolled up type of fruit? No, that's an actual fruit. Like, it's a fruit. And then they puree it and make a gelatin. Come on. It's delicious. Come on. It's so good. He just is kind of for roll up. No, no, it's not flat. It's not like-- With no degree of irony. He just described it for roll up. But it's not flat. It's about-- That is bullshit. It's a fake, like-- OK, it's the size is larger. I get it. You don't roll up a thing. [LAUGHTER] Oh, god. I hate all of you. Now, as much as you're going to hate the Davis dip. [LAUGHTER] I'm going to burn this place to the ground for burn it. OK, let's get back to the Barnbock. [LAUGHTER] Where have we gone? Jesus Christ. What happened to you last? OK, so I smell some alcohol here. [LAUGHTER] I hope I'm going to burn this place to the ground. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Why are we so fucking-- It's been so long right now. Welcome to 2014. Listen there. Holy shit. No, we really need to get back on track. This is ridiculous. Yeah, I just tasted it. Man, that's a spicy buck. Yeah. That is a fantastic doppel buck. Farmer's buck. Oh, man, that is good. I want to plow some fields. Is there, like, a traditional base beer that you guys could point to, is say, this is how the styles should be when they give it a label. - For a double buck? - For a double buck, for a buck, for an amber ale, whatever. - For a double buck. - Like this is a quintessential one. - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - A label from- - We have each of these styles. - For the style, yeah. - It's almost like honey-dried bread, which is cool. - That's such a good description. - We're like honey on toast. - Honey on right toast. There's, again, a spiciness to this. - I get honey caramel brown sugar. - I don't know if that spiciness is coming from the noble hop or from a spicy malt that they're using, but damn, that's really good. - So, let's say we get to the ranking, guys. - I mean, we barely talked about this beard. - Well, 'cause you spent so much time talking about dickholes. - You know what? - I feel like that encompasses a little bit of the spirit of the beard. - Are some things that are really important to talk about. - Right. - So, I had to get that out of my body. Some people get bored with just us talking about description. - True, but we didn't really describe this beard so much. I mean, all I said was, man, kind of like a honey dry. And he goes like, yup, yup, yup, yup. Hey, let's just, let's drink. - I said honey on toast. I provided you with it. - This guy tastes like, what's that sweet nectar, like bees make? - Honey? - Yeah, like, on like a spicy can of bread, like rye. - Like rye bread? - Rye toast, maybe? - Yeah, like a honey rye bread. - Holy shit, nailed it. - Okay, and let's go to Ranky's. (laughing) No, okay. - It's got like a-- - I'll go. - It'll go to hell. (laughing) - It's got like a bitterness that is attached to this malt sweetness in the finish. - Yeah, and the bitterness is-- - What's sharpness, maybe? I don't know. I don't know if it's necessarily bitterness. Oh my God, sauerkraut. - What? - You want sauerkraut? - Sauerkraut would go with this. - Yeah, but what does it taste like? - It's kind of sweet for sauerkraut. - It's sweet. - It's sweet-ish. - Yeah. - It's very well balanced. - Maybe I have much more sensitivity to sweetness, 'cause I'm like, "These are sweet." And you guys are like, "Yeah." But when we have like super sweet stuff, and you're like, "Yeah, these are sweet." And I'm like, "This is too sweet." - It's very well balanced, because there's quite a bit of a grassy noble hop and a spiciness to either some of the hops or the malts that they're using, that balances that sweet out for me. - I definitely perceive the sweetness on this one. - Yeah, and I can also perceive the alcohol too. - The one thing that's lingering on the finish for me is like this lasting candy kind of sweetness. - Signutans, it tastes like signutans. - It's really good. There's like a marmalade quality to it. I don't know, it's not as earthy as that copper as at all. But there is an earthiness here that is root beer, E, or something like that. - Yeah, like a root, something. - Yeah, like an herbal root spice. - I don't wanna come back to this as a joke, but we did mention the honey bread thing. - Yeah. - And that makes me want chicken strips. - What? - I want chicken strips for this beer. - That would probably be awesome with like honey mustard. - Oh my God, that would be great beer. - I want chicken strips for that. - One of those honey butter biscuits from one of our. - Yeah, there you go. - God damn it. - Okay, let's rank. - I'm going, I'm drunk and this is going nowhere. I'm doing it. - Yeah, Michael. - And you wanna do it quick, right? - Mike, yeah, quick-ish. - Okay. - Number five was a Yule Bock, kind of lackluster. Didn't have all that much going on that the other one's had. My number four was the Dunkle. For pretty much the same reason, I still thought that this was really enjoyable, very balanced, just didn't have quite the flavor pop, at least for my tastes. Number three was a copper, fantastic all beer. Really, really awesome American interpretation of that beer. The only other one that I can think of that's in the same sort of class would be the Alaskan amber. I think that that's a really great take on an all beer as well. Number two, Captain James Jack. Love me some Pilsner. And this was a really, really, really good one. Super balanced, clean, everything that you want. Number one, Brownbock, the one that we're drinking right now, we didn't really describe it all that well, not as well as the other ones, I would say, but this is the best of the ones that we've had so far. This is so on point, it's a doppelbock, fucking awesome. - Thanks, Mike. - Yep. - Thanks, Mike. - I'll go next and I've got a tie, so I'm gonna start out with number four. Number four for me was Yulebock, you know, it was good. Let me rephrase that, it wasn't a bad beer, it was just lackluster for what I wanted. It was kind of muted through the whole drinking experience and I wanted more complexity. I actually wish that Yulebock didn't exist and all they made was my number three, which was the Dunkel, which had a lot more depth to me. I really liked the hops and the malt and everything that was going on there, delicious, delicious Dunkel. Number two for me was Copper. I loved how earthy and dry and deliciously herbal that was. I dug the hell out of it and my number one tie is Captain James Jack and Barnbock. Barnbock, however you say that. - However you say it is the appropriate way. - Dude, those two beers, I thought were great. The Captain James Jack was a delicious, clean, crisp, pilsner with a lot of spiciness. I loved that beer and at Barnbock was dry for a buck, but it had a lot of stuff going on. I really dug both of those beers, enough to put them at the top of this list of great beers. This was a really great show. I enjoyed the shit out of this. Thank you so much, Sean Grogan. Anyway, who's next? - Who's next? - I'll go next. - Oh my God. - Number five! - Oh man. - Goes to the Copper. This one, I poured out. I poured out into your glass, my glass, yeah. But I poured it out, it was giving me a headache. I thought it was kind of a little bit. Corn sorpy, kettle corny, something weird about it. I don't know, you guys weren't really on the same page with me on that. It just wasn't my favorite. It wasn't terrible, but maybe it just hit me at the wrong time. Number four goes to the Yule Buck. Here's what I'll say is nice about this. The nose is nice and it's fun as hell to say, why knocks buck buck? I didn't get anything that has buck buck at the end. It's a great word. - Thank you, Germans. - All right, number three, it goes to the Dunkle. This one, my description was, it's good, I guess. - Really, that was your description. - That's your notes, yeah, good, I guess. Number two goes to the Bowern Buck. And I think I like how I say it as well. 'Cause it should be like Jack Bowern, Jack Bowern Buck. - Oh fuck, you're right. - I thought when Ruby was described as honey rye bread, the only description I think we got in the episode is a really good solid description. - Nice. - It was a good beer, but overall, what I liked the most was the number one, the Pilsner, that Captain James Jack. Man, that thing was just so smooth and crackery peppery. It's delicious. - Good stuff, huh? - Yeah. Man, arm was the bomb. Oh, there I said it, you did it, I actually said it. - You did. - Reuse that joke, it's terrible. - Yeah, let's just recycle everything. - You should answer some crickets to really emphasize how silent it was. - Don't insult crickets. - Yeah, crickets would probably stay silent. - Yeah, they're like awkward. (laughing) - Oh, no thanks, Grant. Anastasia? - Yup, that's me. - You ready? - Yeah, yeah, let's do this, let's do this. Okay, okay. - No! - I was trying to, before you were rudely, yeah. Number five is you'll go buck yourself. (laughing) - Finger your buckle. - Yeah, like a finger buckle. That beer was (snaps) number four. - Wait, wait, what was number five? That was number five. - I just said number five was you'll buck. - Oh, I thought you said you go finger your buckle. - You'll, I said you'll go buck yourself. And then you ran with it, like a demented special, never mind. - You've got it. - She totally got it. - Totally got it. - Number four is, - We're so drunk. - I know, what happened? - I'm sorry, I can't get farm fresh girl out of my hand. (laughing) - Okay, okay, sorry for context, please. Don't go look on YouTube for farm fresh girl. - Don't. - Don't. - My break was like, look at faces of death. Terrible and traumatizing. - Don't look at farm fresh girl, it's really. - Number four is copper, it was good. Not as good as the other one. Number three is the dunkle, the fruit roll-up one. - Yeah. - Yeah, it was dunkle and good. - Oh my god, that's the best description I've ever heard. It was dunkle and good. - Please let this end. - I thought he quotes on the bottom. - Oh, now you want me to end. Number two is baron and back. And number one was Captain James James. - Okay, when you said dunkle and good, I was like, please let it end. When you said baron and even back, I was like, please let this go on for you. - Totally. - Totally. - I'm done. - That's it, that's it. - Yeah, so two is baron and back, and number one is James Jack. - Yeah, I said all those already though. - Yeah, okay. - You weren't paying attention. - No, I was too busy rationalizing what I thought was funny. - Thanks guys. - Thanks Sean for this. This shit show of an episode sponsored by Sean. - Sean Grogan, thank you. - How did we end up here? How did we end up in this place? - Yeah, I'll tell you. - Do you mean by this drunk? - Yes. - During the break, we were watching one fucked up video about some girl like fucking a chicken with a celery stick. - Wait. - And then another story about some dude fingering a dick hole. - Don't look at this one for a girl. - Fuck this up. - You're on a list somewhere. - Yeah. - Because Rubien knows that dude's name. - Ashcan Abusayidi. (laughing) - I mean, I'm not like a Taliban guy. - What's happening? - You don't root for that? - Wow. - Not usually. - Sleepersell. - But as long as they keep sending me $5 a month. (laughing) - Bank price. (laughing) - Ashcan Abusayidi. I got a lot of you, man. - Are you listening, government? - They're definitely listening. - I mean, we've-- - George Bush. I'm just trying to set off some red flags with the words I'm using. - Okay. How about skull and bones? Wait. Am I Alex Jones right now? No, let's not do this. Guys, thank you. - Bottoms down. - Anastasia, wait, wait. I gotta thank all you all for being here Anastasia. Thank you for being here. - Yeah, we'll see. - You're delicious and gorgeous and you have a very nice hat. (laughing) For a wrap at the wrap. - So I'm pretty sure none of those were true. - Good point. Mike. - Me. And I want to give a shout out to a few people. So Damon, who gave us a shout out. - This motherfucker just takes a mile if we give him a hit. - Damon and Larissa and Drew Eddy and Stephanie Fletcher, they all got engaged. - Drew, Drew, you got engaged. - Yeah, over New Year's. - That's crazy. - I wish both couples a longer track record than Rubio or I's marriage is lasted. - Yes. - That's for sure. - Yeah. - I mean, I don't regret my decision to get married back when I was married. - Yeah, no, me neither. - Yeah. I mean, we're friends, me and my ex. We're friends. It's good. How you doing? (laughing) - Oh shit. - Oh boy. - I'll tell you guys what I tell my mom. - I just want to come and look at this as I'm kid. (laughing) - I'm not getting married. - I just like the twitch and his eyebrow. - Now the crickets chime in. (laughing) I got him a laugh right now 'cause my voice is all fucked. So I'm just squeaking. - I think squawking is the appropriate term. Whatever that is. Thanks, Michael. (laughing) - Oh, how far do my knees have fallen? (laughing) How far? - My cheeks hurt. My cheeks. - Your butt cheeks? You should probably stop doing that thing that you do with some. - The greatest step, Grant. You're still married. Yeah. (laughing) - Let's go low. - Let us be a cautionary tale. Neither of us have kids though. - Yeah, my kid is the glue. - That's really sad. (laughing) And potentially harmful to your child. - I make glue sometimes. Oh, no. That's what I'm talking about. - You're not having a finger, you're a dickhole. - Yeah, no, but thanks for being here, Grant. - Hey. - Thanks for having me. - No problem. - This has been a mess and I'm sorry you have to add that. - Oh my God, this is gonna be hell. But you guys are great. I love you guys. - I love you too. - A ton. - We're professionals. - And I also love the people that sent us money. - I love those people too. You guys are like super awesome listeners. - The people that sent us money are awesome. - Oh, so. - What about those people after we campaigned and begged that didn't? - Fucking freeloaders, man. - Fuck you guys. - Just listening to shit. Buy me a beer, damn you. - Dude, we asked for $5. We just asked for $5. And you couldn't send us fucking $5. - Yeah, you guys went across the street and you got yourself a Wendy sandwich and you couldn't give us $5. - $5. - Missed me. - $5. - Oh, yes, we're. - $5. - $5. - $5. - No. - $5. - $5. - $5. - $5 footlong. They have a $5 footlong at Subway. - Yeah. - And they put that in the ads because that's really cheap for a fucking sandwich. That's a cheap sandwich. Send us a cheap sandwich. - Yes, I love sandwiches. - Don't actually send us a sandwich. But send us the equivalent monetarily of a cheap sandwich. - Perfect. - Don't find a cheap sandwich. - Or send us $100 like Tina did. - Dude, say this is super expensive $100 sandwich monies. - I'm so drunk. I'm sorry. (laughing) - I mean, this is all, I don't know, I want you to keep talking about Subway sandwiches. - Dude, I am so hungry right now. Let's get on to like chicken floor for you. - Wait, did you forget to eat again before we recorded? - No, I ate, I was burping the grand's face. - Yeah. - He burped a lot in my face. - I really can you awesome this. - Hurt my eyes. - Yeah, I figured it out a little bit. - No. - I'm trying. - My face is scary. - No. - Okay, sorry. - Bottoms up everyone. - Bottoms up everybody. Thank you for listening. - Send us $5. Please send us $5. - Bottoms down. - Send us $5. - Yeah, so I can pour whiskey and punch faces. - We should do that as a thing. $5 for Anastasia to pour whiskey in your mouth and slap you. - Oh, that would be awesome. - If you're in the Austin area. - Oh God, I would need towels for underwear. - What? - What? - She's about to slip off her chair right now. - Oh God. - Just sopping up all of that broth. (laughing) - That was immediately like not sexy. - Oh, sorry. - You never eaten fucking good soup? - I know. - You slicked those little niblets. - Niblets? - We're done. We're done. - Why is there niblets involved? - I'm wondering why we haven't hit done on the episode a long time ago. - I don't even know. I'm really sorry, that was so mean to all the adults today. Grant, I'm sorry I burped in your face. - Hey. - Oh, I'm a compliment. - Good. Anastasia, I was actually very nice to you. - Sort of. - Yeah, no, you weren't. - I think you felt sad because of my tumor. - Wait, what do I have to apologize for, do you? Is there something that I do? - Why are you apologizing to any of us? - Because I was mean. I'm sorry, Grant. Anastasia, I'm sorry. I don't know if I was mean to you. I think you can tell. I was really mean to Michael. - You reminded Michael a lot about his film. - I know, I know, and I'm trying to cope with it. I'm very... (laughing) When his marriage dissolved, it affected me. And I'm trying to get through it. - Oh, why are you feeling it? - Well, I'm trying to get through it. - As long as your apology turns into you being the victim, I think it's good. - It's really affected my Friday night. (laughing) - I almost couldn't play Just Cause 2. - Yeah. - Well, when it happened, it was... - We're all sorry for you. - I know, that's rough. - It was terrible. (laughing) - You guys are like trying too hard. - I spent like $15 on that game. - Oh, what? - Why is this trying to hurt me? - Fuck. - I'm not really drunk, I'm sorry. - What was that? - How did we bomb down? - How did we get here? - You brought your car. (laughing) - You're beautiful child. (upbeat music) - More information on the Beerists podcast, including show notes and pictures, visit thebeerists.com. Email us your feedback, comments, questions, and suggestions at info@thebeerists.com. Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/thebeerists and follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/thebeerists. I'm John Rubio. Thanks again for listening. [ Silence ]
