I think we should start with some puns. No, no, nobody fucking likes puns. Everybody loves hot puns. No, what? Hot puns. I don't know. Is there a good IPA that is not named without a hot pun? Yes, yes. Stone IPA. You know what the coolest hot pun is? What? Hip-hop. Yeah. I hate you so much. Hoppin' to ya! Hoppin' to my mouth! Oh, no! I don't want to be here. What's happenin' here? Fuck you. This is the worst. Like, why? I want to fucking start this again. This is not good. Just roll with it. Okay. How could this be the worst IPA episode we've ever done? There's still time. I mean, we could... Ah! I'm John Rubio. I'm Grant Davis. I'm Man of Stasia, Hoppin' Kelly. And I'm Ryan Allen-Mesh. Mike is out this week again because I think... He ate too many hops. He's like Burning Man or something. But he's not even there. He's just having his own in his backyard. Yeah, he's just kind of flying, hallucinating that everything's happening around him. Mescaline. So... So today we're doing a California IPA show. Woohoo! I know. So we deleted our first attempt at an IPA show off the internet forever. Well, you're not even supposed to mention that. I know. Well, I don't want to mention the guy who was on it. Oh. Okay. A big reason why it sucked is that guy. No, I'm kidding. So Mike. No, Mike wasn't telling that show. Somebody else. He's a really nice guy. But he really sucks on the microphone as we did too then. We're a little bit better now. Man, I was fuckin' all... Hey, I'll only suck on the microphone for money, okay? How much money I have, but I'm pretty shook at Scrams together. Hop into my mouth! I fucking hate all you guys. That's the worst one by far. All of it. All of it's the worst one by far. So like I said, California IPAs and we tried to stick to ones that were pretty easily accessible. These were all stuff that we could buy in Texas, so most other places can also get most of these beers. Cool. But before we get into that, I have an email I want to read and it goes like this. Hey, beerists. I have a few questions, but first I need to set the record straight. It was not Anna Grogan who sent you a donation, but in fact her husband Sean, who was unaware that he shared a PayPal account. Too late. Anna gets credit. I tell you this not because I want my props, but because my wife was no interest in beer and no idea who beerists are, would probably kick my ass if she knew I gave a dime to, well, you guys. So let's just keep this between us. To my question, I was wondering if you guys had any tips for helping somebody who is relatively new to the craft beer world develop their palette. Are there flavors you have a hard time singling out or putting words to? Listening to your podcast has really helped me expand my tasting vocabulary, which has helped a lot, but I still have problems picking out half of the things you get from the handful of beers we've both tasted. As for an answer to your question about off-colored humor, yes, I have a big fucking problem with it. Thanks for being hilarious advocates for awesome beer, Sean Grogan. Also WickedWeed18. That's who that guy was. Oh, nice. And he's a triple thread, because yeah, he donated to us, he wrote a review for us and sent us an email. You guys should all become triple threats listeners. Yes. But onto his question. So how do we develop our palettes? I come to a weekly tasting session where we record our thoughts and I've moved from hot dogs to maybe I might get it right occasionally. Hop dogs. Hop dogs. So, yeah, hold on, cut points. Start that over again. No. This should. No. If you go back and listen to me talk, everything is visual. I like fair maidens and meadows, and that's how I develop my palette. This is not even an answer. Why? That's how you describe what you're tasting. Well, I mean, that's part of the question. Okay. How I develop my palette, I drink a lot. Yes. I drink a lot of beer, I drink a lot of wine, I drink a lot of anything that has real flavor in it. Right. I go to the grocery store and sniff a lot of vegetables and fruits, and I look like a crazy person doing it. Oh, yeah. It's absolutely important that you also have to develop your palette beyond beer. You have to eat a whole bunch of food. Just be a lot more adventurous with everything you try. Just try something out at least once, even if it's disgusting, and make a note in your head about how that tastes it. And you might be like, "Oh, this beer totally tastes disgusting like uni," or whatever. Right. I think another thing you can do is if you're trying to do specifically beer and be able to taste some flavors that you could actually describe with some kind of other parallel flavors, and this tastes like this particular kind of fruit, or this or that or the other. What I like to do is I like to taste a bunch of the same style of beer side by side, because tasting is a very comparative sort of thing, right? You can start out with a baseline, let's say, IPAs like we're doing today. The first IPA, most of the other beers that we taste after that are going to be comparing that first one to the rest of them in a very immediate sort of way. This one tastes more piney than that one. That one tasted more citrusy than that one. And then you can drill down a little bit further and try to nail down exactly what citrus you're tasting. Once you have that point of reference, I guess, you can start thinking about the intricacies of it or the subtleties of it. I think it's also very important that you don't do this by yourself. Right. Like with other people, because then you get validation on certain things and you have to argue your point for why you taste certain things, or maybe someone else has a better description. Oh, my gosh. That is actually what I'm tasting. Yeah. It's not what I said at all. I was way off with hot dogs. Yeah. It's exactly what Grant was saying. Just being on this podcast, my palate is developed exponentially, going to different tastings with people and just listening to people talk about stuff and having that conversation makes a big deal. I was just having this conversation with some friends from grad school the other day and we were at Hops and Grains here in Austin. They ordered the Chardonnay barrel aged alteration. Okay. And like, I don't get any barrel in this at all. Like, I don't understand whether Chardonnay barrel comes in on this beer. And then I ordered one and then I ordered three more so that they could all have it with me. And I was like, okay, guys, here's exactly where all these flavors are coming from. The nose, you can smell the white grapes. And they're like, oh, yeah, I kind of, again, we also ordered the regular alteration. I was like, in the back end, you start getting the vanilla and they start getting that woody flavor afterwards. I was like, actually, this beer, the Chardonnay alteration, 100% barrel. That's all that beer is. Now I taste it next to the alteration, totally different. Once I pointed it out to them, they're like, oh, yeah, and they liked it significantly better. So, for me, having that happen was when Rubio had the Berkman County Stout on the show and started talking about it, I never liked that beer. Listening to the reasons he liked it completely changed my perspective. And things such as taste are very easily influenced. You can have a completely different way you taste and enjoy something just by having a better grasp of all the different intricacies in it. Absolutely. That's a lot of... I love this show, guys. And I love it, too. I love you. However, I've just started listening, Grant is a very good case study for this sort of thing because he really didn't start tasting and thinking about what he was tasting until he got on this show. I used to just drink anything without a second thought. Yeah. Dog food, water, and... That's miserable. American culture is not into nuanced flavors. Right. Period. Big Macs. Not very nuanced. Slathered with ketchup, and that was my own dressing. Salt. That's the one flavor we all know. We're all so confused. Salt and cheese. We like salt and cheese. Salt and cheese to him. Absolutely. Thank you, Sean. We really appreciate the hell out of your triple threat. If any of you want to send us an email, also send it to info@thebearests.com. And I'd move on to iTunes shoutouts, but we don't have any to give this week. Usually, people will go on to iTunes Music Store and search for the beerists and give us a five-star review. And we thank them for it on the show. And nobody did that this week. So... It's so hot to it, guys. Yeah. Fuck you! It's so good! She's so bad. No! You stay hoppy, beerists. Yeah, get on the iTunes Music Store and help us out. Leave that five-star rating and write a review for us. And when you write that review, I could see your name and thank you for it on the show. It is super, super helpful. It gets us higher in the ranks in the iTunes Store and gets more people aware of it. Yeah, we really want to hop up those rankings. I fucking... You're going to die. So... So painfully. We have some donations. I want to thank some people before. Yes. Fucking great. Three of them this week. Songlay for a check. Katie Nishimura and Paul Heidbing. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys. And hopefully, some more of you guys can actually donate to us this week. This keeps happening. We're going to lose so many listeners, you fucks. Thank you so much for your donations. Like I've been saying, for a while, we're trying to get to the Great American Beer Festival. We're really, really close to being able to go. But we're not quite where we want to be. So if you would, please get on thebearest.com on the left-hand side of the page. There's a PayPal Donate link. Click it. Send us any amount of money you can afford. We really appreciate it. We're just a few people that don't have any fucking extra money. We don't have any sponsors. We're putting a lot of time and a lot of money into something to give to you for free. So a good way to give back to us is to make a little donation. It's a self-run operation. Let's not really... That's just getting terrible. No, that one was really good. No, it's not. Super. Ryan is the only one who's laughing at these. Let's get to our beers. We really need drinks now. Let's hope it's nothing hoppy. It is. All hoppy. A little bit about American IPAs. IPAs are just really, really hoppy. Some were about 6% to 7.5% pale malt based usually clean beers. It depends on what coast you get them from. We're doing all California beers. So they're all kind of West Coast style IPAs, which tend to be drier and a little bit more aggressive with the hops. And there's a myth about IPAs and how they came to be talking about how back in the late 1700s, 1800s, England had a big colonial presence in India and actually just kind of reading this. They didn't? No, I mean, they did. Okay. That's not the myth. The myth comes in where they start talking about having a ship beer to India and then hopping the shit out of it so that it can survive the boat ride. Sure, that's what I'd always heard. We all did. And another one is making IPAs really high in alcohol so that I could also not sour and do all these other things. But a lot of that history is wrong. But we actually know about it. I'm not really going to get into the show because then we'll spend a lot of time talking about it. But for a great rundown of what we actually know about IPAs, go to beerconnoisseur.com/the origins of IPA and there's hyphens between those words. So it's beerconnoisseur.com/the hyphen origins hyphen of hyphen IPA. That's a really, really good article. I suggest everybody who wants to learn about the history of IPAs, check that out. Along in the short of this, people fucking love tops even back then. You pretty much, yeah. And they really didn't have any problem shipping beer out because porters had been shipped out for such a long time. They usually aged them for a year before they even shipped them. I mean, it was not an issue. Yeah. Let's get to our beers. Our first beer for the evening is Lagonidas IPA from Lagonidas Brewing Company, Petaluba California. This is 6.2% ABV and it's a year-round offering available in bottles and on draft. And this is available almost everywhere in the US. Yeah, they opened up in Chicago recently, right? Yeah. They're through a major expansion right now. This is a gorgeous amber apple cidery almost. Yeah, it looks a lot like that. Crystal clear. I've got a little bit of sediment at the bottom of my glass, just a touch, but it's still very clear, nice, wispy head on the top. This smells so good. Sure does. Very piney and floral. Piney, floral, a little bit apple-y or peach. Yeah, I was going to say peach. Absolutely. Yeah, a little bit of that. There's also a slight monkey. Monkey. A little bit monkey. A little bit musky, danky quality to it. Shaved ice. What? Ice? Like ice? Kind of, yeah. It's really hard to describe unless you've smelled ice, maybe like freezer burn? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Are you talking about that sort of thing? Like a touch of that? Maybe. That makes me sound less crazy. Let's go with it. If there's a smell to like fresh fall and snow and ice, if that's what you mean, I smell a little bit of something like that, but it didn't click in until you said freezer burn. This is a really fresh bottle, which is exciting to get in Texas like this. Ooh, it is, and it tastes really fresh too. The benefit of buying for a small store, no space for lots of back stock. Nice amount of bitterness right up front, and it actually softens up toward the end. Like that bitterness is pretty big and bright in the very beginning. Lots of pine, lots of dank, mossy qualities, and then it rounds out toward the end and finishes with just a little bit of residual bitterness on your... Yeah, a little juiciness. Mm-hmm. Man, you could session this. It's got the sweetness at the end. What did you guys describe that as? It's a juicy. I don't know, though. Yeah. There's something more to it. I would say something juicy. Like, I don't know, some kind of nectarine juice or something like that. It finishes pretty dry. Like there's a perceived sweetness, but it's not like sugars. It doesn't feel like malt sugars to me. I was going to say cotton candy-ish, but that doesn't sound right. No, not really. You know if you eat the starburst that come in the pastel-colored wrappers, you get done eating it. Residual kind of mouth feel and sweetness to you. Okay. I kind of get something like that. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. Like the tropical ones? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of boozy at the end, too, isn't it? No. No. No. Yeah, does that get the boozy? No, I don't get any boozy. I think you're... It kind of tastes like hairspray, like booze or hairspray at the end. What did you do before you came here? I was talking a lot of hairspray, but that couldn't be related. He was propped upon goofballs. I just wanted to say goofballs. He just wanted to say "hop." No, no. I had to say that to get to goofballs. Yeah, thanks for carrying my pun for me, John. I knew you wanted it to live. I hate you. It was about to dwindle and die. You brought it back. Speaking of dwindle and die, I'm going to kill you. This is delicious. I haven't had this beer this fresh in a very long time, and one thing about La Bonita's is that they don't bottle date and that really pisses me off because you can never tell unless you ask the person you're buying it from when it came in. Yeah, I think Hop Stupid is the best big hoppy IPA for the dollar. Yeah, it's like five bucks. But you just never know how old it is. Right. And it's not very good age. Now, one thing I do want to say about this beer is that we've said a lot of really good things about it. The fact of the matter is that you're listening to the show, you're not into hops. You're probably not like any of these beers until you find that one hoppy beer, that one IPA that's going to get you over that tipping point and make you like hops. It might be one of these beers, I don't know, but you might not have your mind changed for a while. Maybe they need to start with a pale before they move into the IPA. I would agree with that, absolutely. Fuck it. Start with a triple IPA. Go big or go home, bitches. Wow. Or that. I keep burping chipotle. Ugh. Yeah, I don't get any of that in here. No, I had some for the dinners, and I keep burping it, and it's not good. So what I really like about this laginitas IPA, of course, we have it fresh and that's amazing, and that's really important, especially with a lot of the IPAs that we're going to be drinking. You want to have them as fresh as possible, but I always forget how clean it is. Yeah. Like Ryan said, super sessionable. I could just down a six pack of this and forget my name. Yeah, when I lived in the Bay Area, we'd go to an outdoor bar called Zeitgeist and just order pictures of this. And I remember getting blackout drunk so often on this beer, drinking it again for the first time in quite a while, I'm like, ah, springs back amazing memories. So delicious. And as I keep drinking this thing, my palate is acclimating to the hops a bit, and it's becoming easier to drink. Like all those edges are getting smoothed out. I feel like I'm eating a grapefruit pith salad. Just eating handfuls of it. Yeah, with like spruce needles or something. Oh, yeah. That sounds disgusting. Yeah, that sounds delicious. It sounds more physically painful than anything. But there's honey involved in that too, because there is some sweetness to that hops. That helps it go down the throat. Yeah, I'm starting to get more of that sweetness that Grant was talking about. Loganitas needs to can. Yes. For real. Do you hear me, Loganitas? Tony? Do you hear me? They don't. They're doing all that expansion. Just put it in a canning line. Yeah. Fucking easy peasy. Do it. Yeah. They're too busy smoking the bowls. The chronic censored. One of their beers was called the chronic and they got censored for him, whatever. Anyway, they smoked lots of pot. Now the dawn, it was inconclusive. It's inconclusive. This is delicious. Yeah. It's a great beer. Yeah. Would you say that a sort of dankness is a characteristic of West Coast IPAs or just most IPAs? Well, there are a lot of West Coast IPAs that are dank. But I don't know. I mean, it just depends on what type of high alpha hops you put it in there. What do you guys define as the difference between West and East Coast then? West Coast tend to be drier and more aggressively hopped. East Coast are a little bit more sugary, just a bit sweeter and less aggressive with the bitterness in the hops. Yeah. A little bit heavier body, darker in color. Yeah. The classic East Coast is 60 minute IPA. Yes. Okay. And the classic West Coast is our next beer, which is stone IPA. The previous beer that we had was La Unita IPA and it was delicious. And the next beer, like I said, is stone IPA from Stone Brewing Company in Escondido, California. What? What? 1% ABV this beer is, it's 77 IPUs and it's a year on offering available in bottles and on draft. This is one of the best selling beers in the country. And one of the beers that got everybody in the country into IPAs. I mean, it's IPAs are the most popular beer style among beer nerds. It's something that a lot of people cut their teeth on. So it's the common beer that unites us? Yes. Yeah. And if you look at like the top 10 beers about beer advocate or rapier or the American Home Brewers Association, it's always plenty of the elder. It's always too hard and it's like the younger. IPAs. There's always tons of IPAs and then Stout's. IPAs and Bailey's Stout. Yeah. So looking at the color, this one looks very similar to the last one actually. It does. This one's a bit more clear. It's got more golden kind of highlights in it. Yeah, a little bit more vibrant with the color, more saturated with the color. Yeah. I like that term vibrant. It is more vibrant. About the same amount of head, which is again, very wispy, light clouds ahead. Ooh, that's a weird smell coming off the other one. I don't know what it is. Can you pin it out? Chinook. The caddy cat pee. Mm-hmm. Touch of cat pee in a bunch of resinous, piney dank hops. It's not even a touch of cat pee. It's all the cat peeing in my nostrils right now. But it's almost a caramel-ness to it too, like a carmally note to it, the mark you try to smell it. Yeah. Brown sugar. I mean, yeah, it's definitely sweeter. The other one had the piney floral notes and this one has this stinky, sweet smell to it. So a lot of stones IPAs, a lot of their really hoppy beers, which is most of their beers, use a hop variety called Chinook, which a lot of people might describe as being a caddy or cat pissy or a urinally. And yeah, it does kind of smell like that. They use magnum, Chinook, and centennial. Magnum. Okay. Magnums are really clean hop. You can barely smell anything out of it. It's just bitter. Yeah, it's totally just bitter. I'm not trying to make a joke, but it smells like stones. Like rocks? Yeah, like wet rocks. Oh, I thought you meant it was just very identifiably the brand. Oh, no, like literally like stones, like wet stones, a little bit of minerality, a little bit of dirty earth or moss or something. Yeah. I can see that being underneath like the cat pee and the dankiness and the pine. Absolutely. I think I recall I didn't care as much for this beer the first time I had it. I think it's warming up for me more and more each time I have this. Yeah, I just had a sip. I love this beer. Yeah. The bitter wash across the mouth, there is that sweetness we were talking about. Piney notes. There's almost like an artificial strawberry tart candy flavor in there. Like a bitter... A little bit. I don't know what I'm... God, it feels like a candy that the last time I had it I was nine years old and I can't pick it out. Like, I'm struggling. Before we get into those details, the first thing is the broad stroke. That big, hoppy, resiny, piney. And you're right, there is more sweetness to this. A caramel-y or a toffee-like sweetness that's kind of underlined. It's not really that big, that sweetness, but it's definitely there and it's definitely a little bit more sweet and it adds more body to this beer, which is actually quite nice and very well-carbonated. This is actually more carbonated than that Lagoneedus IPA. But that flavor, there's a bit of an ammonia tilt to some of those mossy dank characteristics that kind of goes with it, that caddy, cat pee sort of thing, that kind of goes with it for me. I really dig this beer. There's some bright ester in there too that's hanging out in the background that's playing with that caramelly, brown sugar sweetness. It is mostly bitter. Yes. A man, there's some flavor in there that I want to say it's like some sugary sort of thing that would have come out of a tube, like a paper tube or something. Okay. I don't even know. I haven't eaten this candy in so long. It's like a pixie stick? Yeah. That's interesting. I get like a strawberry pixie stick. Does that even exist? I think. Some kind of strawberry powdered sugar. Sugar candy. I get a little more soapiness than I do candiness just because of how bitter it is across the mouth. And it's way better. Way better. This is so bitter. I mean, looking at the line up, I understand why this one came second because of the third one, but man, I'm scraping this off my tongue. It's a dominating bitterness. Yeah. And it also dries every pore in your mouth. Sucks all the moisture out of your mouth and you could feel it coating your teeth and tongue. This is just on there and it strips everything away and just lays on it. My teeth are really hairy right now. I don't think I've had this beer in five years. It's been a really long time. Really nice to revisit, isn't it? Yeah. It's really interesting. The bitterness sort of a aspirin to me. I can see that. It doesn't quite go into that realm for me, but it starts to. This is actually drinking really, really nicely for me. I'm so sad that I don't pick this up more often. Oh, yeah, that's why, because I don't usually find it fresh around town. And these guys do bottle date, which is great. They have an enjoy by date. And that one says, what? 11 something 13. Sweet. So I think they have what? Like a three month thing. Yeah, two to three month for, honestly, for most IPAs, two to three months is good. Yeah. What's funny is that I went and got a bunch of IPAs for the show and then I told Anastasia, here's what I got. Most of them are two months old and she's like, "Ah, bullshit." And then she went down and bought a bunch of like younger ones. Awesome. Thanks Anastasia. We appreciate it. I mean, that's my job. And you can't do justice to these beers. It would be terrible if we were using four month old beers and doing IPAs on the show. It's just not fair. No, yeah. You're absolutely right. IPAs should be drunk as fresh as possible. And I trusted myself to know when my own products came in. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, oh, I'll just ask the person who buys the beer when it came in. Oh, Anastasia, when did you buy this beer? Oh, I bought it like last week. She has conversations like that with herself all the fucking time. Yeah, I went and visited her yesterday at work and just talking, I thought to me, I turned around and know it was to herself. Yeah. Should I interrupt her from herself right now? I mean, will she get offended at herself? That was Stone IPA. We just finished that up and we're moving on to our next beer, which is Union Jack from Firestone Walker, Passerobles, California. And Firestone Walker should be in all 50 states very soon if they're not already. Oh, that's super cool to hear. And this Union Jack is 7.5% ABV, 70 IBUs as a year-round offering available in bottles and on draft. And we just started getting Firestone Walker a couple of months ago in Austin and Union Jack is hopped with four pounds per barrel, Magnum for the bittering, late kettle is Cascades and Centennial and it's dry hopped with Amarillo, Cascades, Centennial, Citrus, Chinook and Simco. Adults in this are premium two row Metcalf and Kendall varieties, Munich, Carapills, Simpson's Light Crystal. Wow. And this also is somehow clearer and more vibrant than the last one. About the same color, maybe this is a bit more yellow. Yeah. I think these three have all looked identical. More straw color. Yeah, you're right. They're identical. We're getting drunker, same as glow a little bit more. This one's bright green. Oh, that smells good. The lightest bitterness on the nose. Oh, it smells like alcohol, like sweet, sweet spirits. It kind of does. It smells like a rye, like rye. Like a rye whiskey. Yeah, like a rye whiskey. Almost. But there's also the pine there. There's a little bit of citrusy, grapefruit, also orange, juicy quality to it. And definitely get the spicy rye. That's the first thing that hits my nose. Yeah, there's a spiciness like a rye whiskey, like you're saying. Tangerine, maybe apricot. Yeah. I completely agree with both of those. Carat orange. There's a background of spiciness to it. If you had like a peppery, yeah, two of those oranges, but just like a touch to kick up. Some more of the savory notes, just lightly in the background. This is fantastic smelling, juicy fruit for real, juicy fruit. Yeah, absolutely. And you know what? It's spicy, almost like a radish is spicy, you know, or some kind of a beet or something. You know, how those veggies sometimes will give a little bit of a spicy or an earthiness. There's a little bit of that sort of thing there. That's the closest thing I can get to to what I'm smelling. Like a bit of minerality. Yeah, that too. Hey, this juicy fruit, a little bit of banana. This tastes pretty good, guys. Oh, wow. Oh, that's really good. It's a bit creamier than the last one too. I do taste that juicy fruit, but it's spicier than that, right? There's a peppery quality to it, a lot more pine than you would associate with like a juicy fruit gum that doesn't have any, but that citrus pith quality is really nice. If you don't like stone IPA because it's too bitter, try Union Jack. Subtlety is the name of this beer. Yeah. Union Jack is the name of this beer. Yeah. Union Jack is technically what I said. Union Jack is technically the name of this beer. Yeah, I got you, Grant, I got you. Thank you. I said subtlety is the name of this beer. I said Union Jack. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Explain the jokes. And I was like just watching Ryan's mouth move, so I didn't even hear a word Grant said. Oh, man. Go ahead. This is like a dream sequel. I'm so sorry. Yeah. I didn't have to know. Just like what Andy Sanger said, it's like a dream sequel. It's late kettle hops. It's dry hopping. And that's really all that this IPA is about. Kind of unique for a West Coast IPA. This is not if I did this blind, I wouldn't have put this in the West Coast variety in general. Right. I recall this being a lot more bitter previously when I had it. It probably is when you drink it by itself. But if you drink it after a stone IPA, yeah, I feel like maybe we should have switched these two because I remember this one being a lot bigger than it is. But it's actually drinking lighter than the stone IPA, even though it's got higher alcohol. I mean, it's not by much, it's like 0.6% more. But it tastes like it's got much less alcohol in it than that. And the body is smaller. And the IBUs are not nearly as present. The stone IPA was 77. This is 70. And it's a league down. Oh yeah. That's seven less. Noticable. Yeah. This just seems to have a lot of finesse. It's got this sweetness on the tongue and this light bitterness that hits the back end. It's just nice. It's really refreshing. Yeah. It's not like what we were tasting in the Lagunidis IPA, but carried by this blanket of creamy apricots. Yes. You know, there's a creamy quality to it. And there's a lot more carbonation in this beer than the other two beers that we had before. And the malt profiles a little bit more complex than the Lagunidis one was. Yeah. It's not just, hey, here's a bunch of pale malt. This actually has more character. I mean, yeah. Munich, carapills. I don't know who Simpson is, but he does a good light crystal. Yeah. I don't like crystal. Do you guys get booze at the back of this? Because otherwise we have to start talking up one on the same with booze to real bitterness. No, there's, there's a bit of booze back. There's a touch of it. Okay. No. I don't find it at. In this case, you wouldn't taste booze at all. Actually, I was going to say a bit shout on your, no, but you just wouldn't taste booze. You are booze. You're a part booze. Truth fact. Like tasting yourself. Is this masturbation right now? It's going to turn into that if I keep talking dirty to myself. So you're telling me I should put my pants back on. Yes. John, can you take your hand out of your pants? Camps, though. At least stop staring at me. The nibble is so pert. Let's keep drinking this. The resiny, sticky, hoppy notes are starting to come out more as I keep drinking it as it warms up and as it's able to maybe just add that layer to my mouth. And maybe it's just I'm getting farther away from the stone IPA too, where it's starting to feel a bit bigger. I can agree with that. I'm getting less of that juicy fruit bubble gum and getting more of a spicy resin song. It's just really been enjoyable beer to drink. Yeah, no shit. I don't remember this beer telling a story that evolved over time. I remember it being kind of one note, but now trying it next to stone and lagoonitas, it makes those other beers seem a little one note and a little bit shocking awe where this is all finesse and hey, let's just back up and do some literature for a little while. Right? Yeah, it's a beautiful description you escaped, actually. Thank you. I don't think we really need to say anything more about it. Yeah, no, I want to talk about a lady in a meadow. Okay. What is your fair made of doing right now? What trees are around her? She's laughing at y'all because she was drinking this beer lots and lots of time. I like how she talks about herself as a third person. Yeah, is this fair made of now you? Apparently. Yes. There's lots of times in Vegas when she went to visit. Let's take a break. I can't do it. I can't be on this show anymore. Oh my gosh. I need to go back and go get a tongue scraper and just scrape my tongue. Why would that be your right noise? Everybody needs to know what's happening. Well, we are going to go on break right now. I love you. My ears are bleeding. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Stop interrupting. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My ears are bleeding. ♪ And I'm done, but it's fine ♪ ♪ But you have to have this phone ♪ ♪ Here you go, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on (upbeat music) - So Ruby off. - Yes. - I need to go to an eye doctor. - Okay. - I think I need a hot thermologist. - That's fucking, it's just so good. - You can find a hot thermologist at the hospital. (laughing) - Okay, this is starting to get mited of me now that I'm drunk. (laughing) - We think you come around. - Shit happens, man. It'll happen. - It'll happen to you. - It'll happen to you. - It'll happen to you. (laughing) - Fuck. - Oh, man. - Fuck you, so bad. Yeah, our next beer. Our next beer is Sculpin from Ballast Point, San Diego, California. - I love this beer. - I know, so do I. This is 7% ABV, 70 IBUs. It's a year-round offering available in bottles. Cans, finally, and on draft. - Grant has been rubbing his nipples the whole time Ruby has been talking about this beer. - There's some reason we are an audio podcast. Secret stay in the podcast room. - Oh, bullshit. - Sanora Horrible Faces. Sculpin is the testament to our humble beginnings as Homebrew Mart says Ballast Point. Yeah, they started their life out. It's a little brewery in the back of the Homebrew store. This delicious Ballast Point Ale won a gold medal at the World Beer Cup in 2010 in the International Pale Ale category. - Well, yeah. Their IPA stands for International Pale Ale. That's interesting. - Do you just make things up often? Oh, wait, yeah. - Yeah. - It's on the sheet, so. - Check if this beer out. Very, very hazy golden. Super cloudy, you can't see through it. - Yeah, the color I would say is about the same as the previous three, but this is the first hazy. - More like apple cider than apple juice. - Yeah. - Minimal head. - It smells so good. - Smells like I'm glad we're an audio podcast right now. - I smell like sweet grapefruit pith. - Yes. - Oh, I thought you meant you smelled like that. I was like, "Ah, pretty sure you smell like--" - He does. - Yeah, you were the guy that was grossing yourself out - You're gonna hear my hear smells. - I smell like Mexico. - Smells like Mexican chimichangas. - He actually does smell like that 'cause he's pouring the scope in all over his body. - I've been known to dab beer behind my ears. - Is that effective? - My beer shake brings all the voice to the yard and they're like, "Hop on it." - It just got unfunny to me again. (laughing) So, yeah, I'm getting a lot of juicy, sweet, and grapefruit orange, like Valencia orange. - I'm getting that too. - There's a little bit of pine, just a touch of pine, not as much as the other one, and it's not really danky. - And dried orange skin. Like if you have like a potpourri orange. - Yeah. - That's what I think. - Guys, can you just stop describing things and just smell it with me? - I get a touch of candy sugar. - Sure. - Just a little bit, or like crystallized honey or something. - Yes, crystallized honey sounds a lot better, yeah. I just tasted this. - Crystallized honey with a taste. That is a beautiful description. Honey and pine. - We recently got this in cans in Austin, and I've been drinking the hell out of this. - I know. - They've been flying off their shelves. - So, I just tasted this, like I said, and I'm getting a lot of bitterness-like grapefruit skins. You know, if you're just eating grapefruit skins and orange skins and tangerine skins. - As we all do from time to time. - Yeah, every so often, you got to. And there's a honey base that that's built on top of. - It's like a sandwich of grapefruit rinds and honey. - Yeah. - It tastes exactly like it smells. - It does. - Which is very different from all the other ones, where you've had two unique experiences. This to me still tastes like that dried orange skin, where there's a bit of spiciness to it, mm. - And that malthiness is quite a bit bigger than the other beers. - I can't believe this is only 70 IBUs. - The thing is about this beer. I don't think of it when I taste it as being in the same category as a lot of those other IPAs. It's not really bold with the hops, I think. It's a lot sweeter. - You know, it almost drinks like a double IPA. - Because of that sweetness and the big body. And what usually comes off as a higher alcohol, right now, I'm drinking it next to all these other beers. And it's not really as alcoholic as I remember it being, but it is a bigger beer. It's more substantial. There's a lot more sweetness. There's a lot more body. The carbonation's really nice. And it, yeah, drinks like a double IPA, like a really well balanced double IPA. - So it was international paleo, the politically correct name for this? - Yes, yes. - Yeah, the really neat thing about this beer is that when I first smell it, I get, you know, all the smells. And then I tip the glass, like I'm drinking. My nose gets physically closer to the liquid and it takes all this creamy. - No, yeah, you're right. - This like creaminess hits in my nose. - Cavities. - Yeah, my nose cavities right before I take a sip. And then the mouth feel becomes this really nice, not very aggressively bitter, creamy wash of orange. - Giant orange burst, yeah. - I couldn't agree more with that first part of that statement. - And when I smell it, I totally get smells. (laughing) - But when you say not aggressively bitter, we're talking comparatively because drinking this by itself, it is pretty aggressively bitter. - Well, I mean, but that's how you know. - Yeah, compared to these other IPAs. With the exception of Union Jack, I think, this has about the same sort of bitterness as Union Jack does, but it's more skewed toward the citric aspect of things. - Oh, yeah, this is a juicy aspier. This is so good. - This is really good. - This one's more like, dreams to cold than the other one. - Yeah, you're right. The creaminess, like it's almost a sherbet-y quality, right? But made with real fruit and real fruit rinds. - Yeah, and as I keep drinking, I'm getting more of a piney note out of it too. - Yes. - It kind of builds up. - Well, like oranges and cream. Like for all you Filipinos out there, which is probably not halo-halo. - That's just you. We've had email from like a Filipino. - Oh, from the Filipino, what a skunk was, yeah. - One beer Filipino, halo-halo. This beer is like, halo-halo. And you'll probably never get to try this beer, so, sorry. - Oh, halo-halo is the actual thing in the Philippines? I thought you were being screeed just now. (laughing) - No, no, it's like, oh God, I'm not gonna be able to describe it really well. It's like a shaved ice condensed milk and mushy fruit-preserved type things. And there's just layers of all that stuff. - I think I've had that before. - You may have. - Yeah, the shaved ice scene in Austin is getting complex out there. - It really is. - Stuff's sometimes pretty crazy. - I saw one that you can get shaved ice with pickles and cayenne pepper. - That's a Mexican thing. - I know. - Yeah, I know. It's delicious. - I had an L in front of the name, so I was like, I know what that is. (laughing) - You guys stole Texas from us, you know that, right? (laughing) Fucking whites, no whites, no whites, no whites. - This beer's delicious. - This is fucking great. - Anytime I drink this, it reminds me of why Sculpin has the great reputation it does. This is one of these beers that is relatively new, but an instant classic. As soon as it came out, people were like, fuck, Sculpin is one of the best IPAs in the world, and it is. It absolutely is. - This in victory at sea by them are too standard. - Oh, yeah. - It used to be that they're always good. - Victory at sea. - And you're conundrum. - And you're conundrum is awesome. - Whatever, they can't keep up with Texas. - Yeah, I know. But it's still delicious. They're just making great beers. They're making fantastic beers. Same thing with Firestone Walker. I mean, we have the Union Jack. They don't make a bad beer at all. Like every single one of those beers is stand out fantastic. - One thing I didn't mention earlier is that Firestone Walker is an English style brewery at its heart. - Yeah, at its heart. - They barrel age everything. So I guess it's not that surprising that Union Jack is somewhat unique amongst the West Coast IPAs. - Sure. - Where it wasn't a super bitter forward. - Where Sculpin is a bit more in this similar style, right? - Yeah, true heart. This is Southern California. - But I think this one distinguishes itself a lot more from its contemporaries on the West Coast because it seems to be a lot more honey based. - You know what's really funny about Sculpin? It's got the sweetness that you would expect in the East Coast IPA, but it's a very West Coast spin on that sweetness. It's more honey and less multi sugary and-- - It's honey and piney, I guess, huh? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's less of that multi sugary that you get on the East Coast, less of that caramel-y, kind of malt profile and more of a honey to go with all of the bitter, piney and fruity citrus stuff. - It's so bizarre that there's still an East Coast trend and a West Coast trend in a society where boundaries seem to be relatively obsolete nowadays. - Well, and there are also breweries that are bucking that trend. I mean, on the East Coast, you have the alchemist doing heady topper, which is very much a West Coast style IPA. You know, same thing with a lot of the IPAs that Hill Farms did are doing in Vermont also. - We should move on to our next beer. - Sure, let's do that. That was Sculpin from Ballast Point. Our next beer is Racer 5 from Bear Republic, and that's from Helbsburg, California. 7% ABV, 75 IBUs, and it's a year-round offering available in bottles and on draft. And this is another one of my favorite IPAs. - I don't think I've had this actually since we did an episode that shall not be named. Nevermind. - I got a first episode. - Since we did a Voldemort. - Did a race of five, yeah. But this one's hop with Chinook, Cascade, Columbus, and Centennial. - All four C's. - Yep, all the four C's. - It's just like buying a diamond. - How is that like buying a diamond? - Four C's? - You need the C's, man. - Oh, the pair of clarity. What are you saying? - Parents, maybe? - I don't know. - Parents with a K, but. - They still call it the four C's. - I was thinking guilt doesn't count as a C word. (laughing) I was like, "Gold Digger, where does that come in?" - Yeah, race of five is another one of those beers that if you live in the West Coast or if you've ever lived there for a little bit, this next to Lagerny is IPA. They're the cheapest IPAs around, and they're fucking awesome. - Fantastic. - So you can always get a cheap ass picture of 'em and you can just drink, drink, drink, drink. - Yeah. - I haven't had this in years and I love it though. I'm excited to try it again. - Yeah, checking this beer out, it's golden hazy. You can kind of see through it a little bit, but a little bit better than the scoping. - Yeah, but it's pretty. - Not much. Some of this is chill haze, 'cause these beers are significantly colder than the ones that we tried on the first half. - Chill haze contributes to it, but I'm holding this beer up and I cannot really see you through this glass. And again, same amount I had, just a nice little wisp if you twirl the glass up, it foams right up. And that smells like a bunch of hops that start with a letter C. - Mm. - Oh yeah. - Stop saying the C word, all I can think about is the C word. (laughing) - Yeah, this is helped with Chinook, Cascade, Columbus, Centennial, and Cunt. - That's all I can think about. This beer is helped with. Cunt, Cunt, Cunt, and Cunt. - I was getting a fishy smell out of this, actually. - Oh God, it's in my eyes. (laughing) - Going to the Hot Tom address. - Did you just throw beer in your eyes when you said fishy? - I was laughing while I was holding the glass to my mouth and I exhaled and beer shot up to my face. - That happens. - Yeah. - It hopped. - Yes, it was on my face. - Shut up. - So, a lot of the fruity, citrusy, hopper-romas are coming out of this. - Nectarine. - Yes. - Comquat. - Pizza. - Mm. - Pizza, maybe. - No, no, what pizza? Especially if it's pineapple pizza without the rest of the pizza part. - You're just making sure. - Pineapple, yes. - Herbs, like pineapple and oregano. For a second, I had a touch of mozzarella, but just for a second, I went away real fast. - Yeah, I don't get that much. - I'm having a hard time picking out nuances with this beer after the Scalpin. - Yeah, it was kind of difficult. - The Scalpin was just punching me in the face, whereas this one is kind of more mute, so I'm struggling. - Well, you know, Anastasia does have a point there. There is an herbal quality to this one that we weren't getting in any of the other ones. - Yeah. - Somewhere between basil and mint. - Maybe a little. - A fragonally. - Yeah. - A fenneloy. - Okay. - Yeah, this is definitely spicier, and not in a right, spicy malt kind of way, but in actual spices. Like, it smells almost like a spice rack. - Mm-hmm, sure. - And there's a weird, I'm not sure if my brain's playing tricks on me, almost like oxidization. Just right in the very, very back end and like to the middle left. - I don't think even still, after 75 episodes, I'm good at detecting oxidized. - I'm not trying to say that it's oxidized, but there's something in there that smells kind of like dry parchment paper. - Yeah, like dry parchment. - Yeah, so there is a touch of that there, but it doesn't come off as the type of papery that I associate with oxidation. - What it really reminds me of is if you go to a hookah bar in your order, the peach flavored hookah, it's that tobacco quality with peach in there. - Tobacco. - God, I just tasted this. I think I have a winner. (laughs) Okay, so this is- - Is this stone IPA? - This has everything that I loved about sculpin, but with less sweetness, like it's way more dry than that. There's not that big honey base. You get a hint of that sort of thing here that goes really well with the kamquat, skin, all those different citruses that we mentioned before. A little bit of apricot, that herbal quality, and a really nice, dry, unsweet finish. You get a honey quality and just a touch of that, but it doesn't cross that line into sweetness for me. - It's got much more of a carmoly, silkyness to me. Yeah, but definitely without a lot of the sweetness to it. - Yeah, just the impression of that, right? - Yeah, it's kind of this burnt quality of carmolyness that I get. - Where I would associate with the sweetness. And instead it's sort of this fruity floral note that kind of underides everything. - Yeah. - And it's really nice. - And it's a little bit aqueous. So this is still really big in flavor, right? But it's got a slightly cleaner, almost watery finish in a good way. Like it just washes the bitterness off your tongue, if that makes any sense. Like it doesn't really leave a lot of bitterness there. There's some there, but it finishes off a little bit more like a tea version of the other beers. - Yeah, whereas the other ones dry out right at the end. This dries out, but some quality of it still like flushes my saliva and it floods back in right at the end. - Exactly. - My saliva knows, hey, something's alerting us, juice up your mouth. It sounds gross to juice up your mouth. But that's kind of what I'm reminded of. - I love that. - It reminds me of beef jerky. - How? - What? - No, do go on. - I think this would be really good with beef jerky. - Oh, okay, just going well with it. Yeah, I can do it. - I can see it going well with it. It doesn't taste like beef jerky. - No, I know, I know, I'm sorry. My brain's missing. - I was really excited if somehow you were, you know, like I get beef jerky out of this. I'm like, 'cause I always think meats with beer. But I mean, it makes-- - My brain's missing a circuit. - Yeah, I know. - So sometimes connecting words are not there. - No, beef jerky would go great with this. - It would, it would like-- - A lot of pepper, a little dry but still kind of moist. - That sounds awesome with this, actually. - Seriously, Anastasia, I want you to do all of my food pairings with every beer. - She's really good at that. - Yeah, I just want to carry you on my back, like Yoda, to every beer place I go. - Well, you could just-- - And you just go, mm, add jerky to that, yes, mm. Dude, she's bigger than you. Like you carrying her on your back. - Have you seen my shoulders? - Yeah. - They're fucking broad. - Well, maybe I can-- - It's kind of slopey. - I could be like Jake and go in your pocket all day. - Who's Jake? Jake and the Fat Man. - Adventure Time. - She meant Adventure Time. - Okay. - It's a different Jake, I knew that too. - I'm not a basketball fan, I don't know. This is delicious, I love this shit. - So this is the fifth one that we've had, this race or five, and it's, I want to say completely different from the other ones that we've had. Because, you know, the Union Jack and the Sculpin kind of had that sweet creaminess or whatever going on for it, and then the Stone and the Logonitas had those really clean, bitter, hoppy things. And let's race your five, is this weird, not aggressively bitter, it's not very sweet, it's just different, it's almost like the malts are geyser shooting the hops up. - Yes. - So you get a lot of malt and hop but combined, they're not necessarily separated. - And where it intersects, it finishes just north of a paleo. - Right. - Like this is just-- - But it's 75. - I know, but this is just like the flavor that you're getting here, to me, is just poking its head into IPA from paleo. - I mean, seriously, when we compared this to Stone IPA, the hops on this are nothing. Stone IPA is 77 IBUs, I almost want to call BS on that. (laughing) Because that seems like it was like a 120 IBU, scrape my tongue so many hops, palette record kind of beer. - Yeah, it's a biggest beer. - In general, the way that they calculate IBUs is partially outdated. - The number that they come up with is pretty much theoretical, it's a calculation. - What they do is they use a dart board, right? - Right, yeah. - What I mean has to do with the number of alpha acids in a hop, there's so much more to a hop than just it's pure alpha acids and then it's estimated alpha acid and then you don't know how old that alpha acid is and it differs due to the balance in chemicals also inside that hop, which degrades and changes and in Stone, they're using Chinook. It's a bit or as fuck. - Yeah, Chinook is huge. - And you got to look at the isotopes and like the radiometric dating of that. - Yeah, and if the-- - In comparison to that. - If it's not an anti-opure, it starts just going crazy, it's bad, yeah. - I like how you're trying to talk chemicals to a chemistry PhD. - No, I have no idea what you guys are saying. - Amazing. - I've also heard a number of people say, even if this is an outdated system that humans can't really detect over 100 something, yeah, over 100 IBUs, so. - I've heard people say down to 85, like you can't really detect any difference between 85 and 100 or beyond. - It's just a Dixillion contest. - But the issue. - Yeah, pretty much. - The issue, I think, to add more complexity to the fact that you might not be able to detect past 90 or 85 or 100 is that Citra is a 14% alpha acids. - Oh yeah. - That's not a bitter hop in most cases. - Right. - So you can add tons of Citra to it and you can have a theoretical value of 100 IBUs, but it tastes like 50. - Right. - Chinook has 14 or 15 IBUs and you can add half of that and it's gonna taste way more bitter. - See, I don't understand, as you're saying, the system's outdated and they can't really determine on a flavor palette how 75 is only two under 77 and 77 is so much more bitter with Stone IPA. Why are they using those systems rather than just having a professional taster rate everything? - Because even that would differ. - Yeah. - If it's one professional, like if they have just one guy or you know, they have a few of them 'cause you wanna have a system. - Yeah, I think they would probably have to adopt something similar to the way they figure out Scoville units and you know, for chili peppers, what they do is they get a sample group of people and they do dilutions with a chili pepper, right? So you're trying to figure out Scoville for Habanero, right? So you give it to somebody full strength and then dilute it by a certain factor each and every time and at the point where you stop tasting that spicy heat, that's where you draw that line and say, okay, this is how many Scoville units this pepper is. So maybe they need to do something like that with hops. - But hops are even more complex than that. Yeah. - You have alpha acids, you have beta acids and then you have other similar sorts of things that are kind of like alpha and beta acids, but you can't classify them as that. So we just generally don't classify them. - Right, exactly. - And that's where the big problem is, is that we have a very simplistic system for a very complex natural product. - A complex herb, essentially. I mean, it's a seasoning for a beer. And the more that American tastes change in IPAs that you're getting citra, mosaic, all these hops have significantly more flavors in them outside of their alpha acids. So they partake so much more onto the beer than just the bitterness quality. And all they're testing for is one single compound that is your standard alpha acid. - So do you guys feel that these IBU ratings that go with every single beer are almost meaningless? - I would say any other thing over 60 IBUs is meaningless to me, in most cases. Unless something says it's 150, then I'm like, I know what they're going for. - So they're almost as meaningless as style designations are now. - All right. - Style designations are another thing that people are really just, we should just do away with them. But you know, they're pretty decent markers for a ballpark of what you should be doing. - Would you say that style definitions are different than classification then? - Because we still want to be able to classify them. - Sure, sure. - I mean, if you call one thing of say's on and then another beer calls another thing of say's on, they might be very, very fucking different. - Will you learn that on other say's on? - Absolutely. Or if you're pretty little things, you just don't give a fuck. - Yeah, exactly. You start putting names on stuff. - Put a bunch of hops on shit. - Just say's on, sure, whatever. - But I mean, yeah. All of these taxonomical classifications are a spectrum, you know, and we try to categorize things so that we have a point of reference for what we're gonna taste or what we're gonna experience or any of those things. But really it's an imperfect scale. I mean, it's always gonna be that, I think. - It's interesting to find out how imperfect and loosey goosey they have this. It seems like maybe they need to divide the IBU category into like three or four categories in order to actually be able to classify each of them. - As someone very closely tied to academic research and science, and that sort of area. - Sure. - The big problem is that there just isn't enough money for anybody to give a damn to isolate the different factors that lead to different flavors and to come up with a new system. - Sure. - This is a system that is based literally out of 200 years ago, sort of research. - So are you saying that we need to start a Kickstarter for Ryan in order for him to be our new beer analyst? - I don't know if we wanna go that far right now. (laughing) - You would honestly, as ridiculous as it sounds, you would probably need close to $100 million. - Yeah, it's a huge research. At minimum, to start analyzing the different factors that are in-hops, and then how they play on different people's palettes to try to come up with a new system. And that's why we use IBUs, even though it's super crude. - It would be a multi-year-- - Yeah, it would take 15 years. - A giant endeavor with a bunch of people involved. - Well, we get the three big breweries and then get that billionaire from Sam Adams and also Chippin'. - Yeah, Jim. - I don't know. - Jim Cook could fucking do it himself. - Yeah, Jim Cook's a fucking billionaire now. - Hey man, do you wanna give me $100 million to go ahead and declassify our IBUs? I doubt it. - Everyone listening wants to. - No, I don't think we have enough listeners for $15 million. Let's move on to our final beer of the evening. - All right. - The beer that we just had is Racer 5 from Bear Republic. This next beer and final beer is West Coast IPA from Green Flash Brewing Company. San Diego, California, this is 7.3% ABV, 95 IBUs. And this is another year round offering available in bottles and on draft. And I'm gonna read the description here because I think it's kind of cool. - A menagerie of hops is later throughout the brewing platform. - Yes, this is how it should be read. - "Simko for your Nick fruitiness "and grape rudress. "Kalambas for strong hopungency. "Sendenial for pine and citrus nuts "and cascade for floral aroma, "which is really weird because I always "associate with grapefruit." - A multi-dimensional hop express. - I do say good show. - This sounds like a mighty fine beer. - P-p-ch-re-o. (imitates drumming) - So yeah, that's pretty much it. (laughs) - So Green Flash Brewing also makes the palette record, which is also classified as an IPA, correct? - It's a double. - Is it? I don't know if that's a huge-- - All I know is palette record is a good name for that thing because it wrecks shop on your palette. - Forever, like for a day. - Yeah, two or three days, I just wake up and be like, fuck, I'm still burping up hops. - I know, it's amazing. I really like that beer and I know you do too because I've had more than one with you in a sitting at a bar where we're like, let's just get another one of those. But yeah, I mean-- - And the next week we're like, regret? - Well, no, but I mean, at that point, after you have one, you're like, I guess I'll have another one 'cause that's all I'll be able to taste now. - Yeah, I can't taste anything else. - No, the second one goes that way easier. - So now that I think of Green Flash Brewing, I think of that one I go, oh, whoa, we in store for. - And that is a pretty good point of reference for this 'cause smell that. - Dank. - Super dank, super bitter in the nose. - Oh, God, I have such a big glass of it. - We gotta go and order our operation here. - Yeah, I know, so, oh, man, this is awesome. - I know, it smells great. So this beer is like a, are you okay? What happened? - I smelt it. (laughing) - So this beer is muted amber? - Yeah, it's actually kind of a little darker, saying to me than the previous ones, but only because it's a little hazier, I don't know, it's a little darker. - Yeah, it's hazy and darker, just a bit. It looks like-- - Shut up, Ryan, that was a good description. - No, Ryan is drunk. - I get paid for this shit. - But yeah, this is like dank pot. Like it smells like kind of mud and moss and earth. - Oh, yeah. - Very tiny little hint of grapefruit zest. - This has like hot pollen in it. - I know, right? You're smelling a hop cone and then actual particles get stuck in your nose and it kind of stings a little bit. - Oh my god, it smells like wet dog. - A little bit of that. - Isn't it so appropriate that West Coast IPA being the name of this beer? It lives up to what a West Coast IPA is. - Yeah, but more lives up to a really nice pot strain. I mean, if I got a baggie of weed that smelled like this, I'm like fucking sold. - I haven't smoked pot in like fucking 10 years. - You like myself, I've never once been around marijuana. But it's really interesting to learn all the things that you like. - What does marijuana look like? - Oh god, come on. - You can experience these sorts of things. You can learn a lot about this podcast, just by listening to John. - Really? - Yeah, the newest dankest shit on the market. That's right. - It is, yeah. - I don't know, no, can't be the smell. - No, you don't like those smells? - When I smell this, I smell smells that I don't like. - I like this beer a lot. - It smells a lot sweeter than I think just weed. - It gives me a headache. - Oh, I just tasted this. I taste more wet dog than I smelled. It's not bad. Like it tastes good to me, but there is a wet dog quality and the holy shit, how much hops did they put in this? - Yep. (laughing) - All right, ready for raking, guys. - Wait, wait, wait, you wanna eat it for you? Okay, so it tastes like you dragged swamp thing through the swamp and then you give them a rest and then dragged them through the swamp again and then dragged them through weed and then smoked a bunch of weed with them and then dragged them through the swamp and then put a wet dog on them and then dragged them through the swamp and smoked weed with them. That's what this beer tastes like. - Did you make it? - We've all done there. - Yeah. (laughing) - It's a perfect description and I'm not just saying that, no, I'm only saying that 'cause I'm drunk. - But there's also a little bit of a multi-carrying shit. (laughing) It's like a caramelly, multi-sweetness. - Yeah, sure. - But drag it through the swamp again and then we're there. - Swamp thing. - Yeah, swamp thing. - So what do you guys think? - I like it. - Yeah? - Yeah, I do like it. Earlier when I was saying it's like smelling a hop cone and getting pollen stuck in your nose, it's just overwhelming hops. It's like, if you home brew and you open up like one of those little ounce packages of hops and you accidentally think that you're gonna learn something from eating one of those pellets. - Oh God. (laughing) - No, terrible idea, but we've all done it. - Yeah, this is what you get and I kinda like it. (laughing) - Note to all you new pellets out there, do not eat hop cones. - No. - Do not. - Ry is like, it's kinda like when you get kicked in the nuts for the first time, but I kinda like getting kicked in the nuts. - What are you gonna make? - Don't judge my marriage. - I'm not judging your marriage. - That's all you do. All you gotta do is just marry. That's a good fight. That's mainly because I want that tiny little fucking thing. - Well, too late, she married Ryann. - She would make my dick look huge. (laughing) - I'm sorry, now she's legitimately your wife and you can be somewhat angry at me. Huge. (laughing) - He talked about my boobs earlier. - Yeah, we did talk about face swapping earlier. - Yeah, we did. - I've been to Stasia and John, face swapped. - And the Stasia, wait, let's just back up. - I'd call it be okay with it. I mean, like-- - Wait, how does Stasia has this huge freakout obsession with Nicholas Cage Matt? - It's not a freakout obsession, it's called the Cage Matt, and it's a legitimate thing, there's brackets and papers and spreadsheets and cage gories. - Okay, so you hurt that, right? - A big freakout obsession, right? - Cage gories. - So, we talked about if Anastasia and I switched faces, Ryann would still fuck both of them. - Ew, Ryann? - Wait, no, John's putting words on that. I absolutely never said that. - Wait, which one would you fuck? You would fuck Anastasia with my face. - Absolutely. (laughing) - Why? That's horrifying. - Oh, God. - The Gotee could add some interesting-- - But-- - They have a really nice mustache too. - I've got a slightly better one. Okay, so this beer, this West Coast IP-- - Makes me sad. - Why, what? - It can, it tastes so metallic and hop. Coney, like, tastes like going down on some hops, I'm just not into that. - I am, you like it this? - Well, I mean, it's weird that she said going down on hops, but yeah, I'm kinda digging this beer. I do get a little bit of the metallic quality that she's talking about, but I like it. - I'm liking it too. - I wouldn't say it's necessarily gonna be my top beer at all, but I wouldn't mind finishing this beer at all. I think it's really great. I think that the promise in the nose could have been delivered a little bit more in the taste, but otherwise-- - I'm glad it didn't. - I'm pretty impressed with what it's doing. - I'm glad that it was the last beer of the night, 'cause this thing wrecked my palate. - This wouldn't even the palate record. - Absolutely, and is this a good beer? Like, I really am digging this beer quite a bit, but it is huge, and it's one of those beers you do wanna leave for the end of the night. Once you're sure, you're not gonna drink any other hoppy things again for the rest of the week. Not the week, but the evening at least, because it is gigantic with the hops. - Yeah, don't tell me what I mean, I do. - It's not bad, I don't diss like it. It grows on me mainly because alcohol. (laughing) And you know, when you take a sip, you're instantly more drunk than you were this before. - Right. - Let's rank, guys. - I couldn't process a thing that you said because of them. - Let's rank 'em. But yeah, let's rank these beers. I'll go first. - Yeah, do it. I'm gonna start with number six. Laganita's IPA was my number six. - What? - Hey, there wasn't a single bad beer that I had tonight. Really? All of these beers are really fucking good, and I would encourage anybody listening to go and try any of these beers if you like hops and you haven't had them. - Sure. If you have had them, they're good beers to revisit. Just make sure they're fresh. - Yeah, if you can make your own six pack and repeat the show, it'll be a great night. - Yeah. - I changed my rankings a bunch of times, but it's-- - Oh, this was really hard when you were ranked. But Laganita's IPA, to me, is the most baseline IPA of the bunch that we had. It's a really good one. It's absolutely a great IPA, but it's one that any brewery can make, I think. I mean, I really like the flavors that I was getting from it. I really like the body that I was getting from it, but it's a pretty basic IPA. My number five is this Green Flash West Coast IPA, and I put it at number five just because it is so aggressive. I can't drink more than one of these. I could probably drink one and be all right. And then I'm done with the rest of my night for beer drinking. This beer is a palate record. It's still a really good beer. I like the flavors that I'm getting out of it, that earthy, mossy, dank, super pot aroma and flavor that I'm getting. But yeah, I mean, once I drink this, I can't enjoy another beer for the rest of the night. That's got to count against it for me. Number four is Stone IPA. I really like that beer. Even though it's got that cat pee hop, I like Chinook. I really do. And the easy to drink, kind of dank, hop forward. Like it's a great IP. It's a classic. Love that beer. Number three, Union Jack from Firestone Walker. The finesse on that one. Really took me by surprise. I liked how all of those citric and dank qualities and mossy things were floating on that apricot cream blanket. I... Yum. Perfect. I love that beer. Can I sell that description? Sure. Cool. And the amount that I love that beer is a testament to the next two. Because Sculpin is one of the best IPAs in the world. That's a fantastic one. It's got so much citrus and tropicality. That beer can still wow me. Even though I've been drinking it for a couple of years now, even before we got it in Texas, I traded for this beer a lot. It's still lowing me. Dig it, ballast point. You guys are amazing. That reminds me of the last episode I was on when you were just freaking out over Alpha King. Oh, which is an old pale L or IP, whatever it is. Yeah, it's one of those where it's like, fuck, this is great. It's been great for a long time and it still stands the test. But, you know, I got to give my number one to race your five. It had a lot of the complexity that these other beers had. And it did it with such an easy to drink base. That's one of those beers that I could just drink all fucking day and not care. It doesn't bother my palate. It finishes so clean and so aqueous and it's great. That's me, who's next? Anastasia, you ready? Number six is West Coast IPA. Just kidding. Number six is West Coast IPA. Oh, I was just like, number six is just kidding. It's Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack. That's who I am. Don't bring me down, man. Are you all right? West Coast IPA. Number six. Number six, it's not my style. I don't really like what people consider a true classic West Coast IPA. I don't like to be punched in the face without permission. Sure. I mean, it's not bad. It's not bad. It grows on you. So maybe some Stockholm syndrome is happening in my mouth right now. Number five is the stone. The same thing, I'm too old for this shit. Really? Really, like, I'm not a hop hat. I'm not down with the hops. I like my hops to be sexy. I wanted to be wearing a bustier and some garter belts and some silk motherfucker stockings. I don't want it to be wearing ripped up fishnet and neon leather. Which both are good. Both are good. You know, what do you like? No, she's right. This is like the Guns N' Roses and Poison group of the coffee group. Just because, like, the stone and the West Coast, for me, they're just so aggressively hop, hop, bit or bit or bit or bit. I like the more subtle hops. I like the more citrusy hops. I like more well-rounded fat hop taste. Sure. Number four is the Racer 5. I kind of don't want to put that one that low, because I really, really like that one. So good. But I realize that I like the other ones that I like better than that one, because that makes a lot of sense. That was definitely a sense. Number three is the Loganitas. Simply for its super clean drinkability. Pound it all night. All night. This is getting away from me. I don't think it actually came with the beer drop. I lost track to if you said pound it all night, so I mean, yeah. Number two is the Sculpin from The Ballast Point. I like the Sculpin, because citrus and stuff and cream and things. One number one is the Union Jack, because, to quote a person, apricot cream blanket. It's a quoted great man. An American patriot. Somebody who we get all look up to and want to be John Rubio. Yeah, go ahead and quote that guy. I know that there's going to be some fucking musical sound track over that shit, too, because this is fucking awful. No, quote that guy, my pick. To be fair, to be fair, to be fair. I was really surprised that Union Jack was my number one. I didn't think it was going to rank that high. But then I remembered, hey, girl, you know what's good. Yeah, girl. It's a damn good beer. It's way better than I remember it being. Whatever number three. Oh, dude, yeah. Number three could have been number one in any other show. It's really close to my number two and number one. But those I like better for very particular taste reason. Your lips are flapping and sounds coming out. I know. That's what she said. I hope lips work. Thank you, Anastasia. I think you're welcome. You're a delicate flower. Ryan, you ready? Yep. Six. West Coast IPA. Yo, yo. I fucking loved it. I'm glad I finished the night on this beer. Number six is a beer that you love. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, same here. I loved all these. I'm super happy I didn't start on the night, or I would have been pissed at the first new period. And we would have been a really terrible beer knowledge people, because who puts that first? Yeah, yeah, this beer is just overwhelming. I still can't get over it. It's too much, and I love it. Five stone IPA. I could have maybe switched my ranking here and there. I'm really glad that the American craft beer scene has changed away from West Coast IPA and stone IPA. I'm glad that we're no longer doing this. How bitter can we get to rip your face off and make a good IPA? I like that we're more shifting to the Midwest stuff where it's all late edition. Yeah, racer five. This is one of my classically all time favorite beers. I thought that this was an oxidized, bad example. I didn't like it. Is number four? Yeah, and my number four. OK. I mean, I liked it. It was still good. I've had exceptional examples of racer five. Yes. This was not the exceptional example. I wish I had it and I would have ranked it higher, but the oxidation in the nose, there was a bit of it in the flavor to me, too. And it took a little while for me to keep drinking the beer to get some of those orangey, papery sort of flavors out of it. A very good beer, nonetheless. Ryan, my son. I am disappointed. But go ahead. No problem. And now my top three. I was inspired by Grant's little wookie. Don't talk about my little wookie. It's not that little and hairy. These top three are really great. The Logginess IPA. Fantastic. Hoppy, delicious, easy to drink. One could say that it's kind of like the Empire Struck Bock. Yes. Empire Struck Bock. No, we are clapping at Corky from Life Goes On. Number two. Struggling for these. OK, go. Number two. Union Jack. God, you're really beautiful. I had ignored you for a while. Your subtle complexity was amazing. You are a new hop. Yes. That's exactly pretty said when he got married two weeks ago. And number one. Oh, God. Sculpin from Ballast Point. Return of the fucking Jed IPA. Although you should have had those reversed. I mean, this is like-- This is the worst. Return of Jed actually for you. I did it for you, Grant. I did it for you. A new hop should be number two. And Empire Struck's Bock should be number one. I know, but you can't make the number one IPA a bock. The worst thing. I know. It was a struggle. I was stretching. I understand. I know. But I do appreciate it and I love it. It's horrible, horrible. Ran your off the show forever. Grant, you just somehow went lower than John Harvey in my calling here. I'm kidding. There's no way. And we're great. All right, bros, time to rank some California IPAs. Hang loose. Yeah, bro. Do you even lift, bro? Yeah, man. Totally lift. For real. Did you guys know Grant's wearing a shirt called the Wild West right now? And it has a Oregon Trail style buggy on it. Yeah, no way. A row snake is going to stop this. It's no way. Broz, you're ruining in my calorie vibe. That was so drunk. That was words. Go. Oh, shit. Don't eat that. All right. Nope. Number six goes to the Stone IPA. OK. That beer was bogus, bro. No, no, no, god. It smelled like cat pee. It was way too bitter. And it totally just grinded on my tongue bone, yo. I just didn't dig it. What did you turn into a Ninja Turtle? I don't know. I'm trying Ninja Turtles. Like the only reference I have to California. Good point, go. OK. Number five goes to the West Coast IPA. I said this one was tubular because-- [LAUGHTER] I thought it smelled great. I thought it had this nice, better taste. It could have done a little bit more. It wasn't the best beer. But it's all right. Number four goes to Laganita's IPA, bossa nova. [LAUGHTER] Bossa fucking nova. Bossa nova. Rayfruit Piney. And I thought it had this little hairspray note at the end, but you guys weren't detecting that. So what ifs? That was my number four. Number three goes to the racer five, which was radical. I thought this had the eccentricity smell. It had this caramely flavor. It was totes dope. OK. Number two goes to the Union Jack, which was gnarly. It was creamy. It was apricot. It was just for the idea of spicy. And they had this harmony to it that couldn't be topped by anything except for number one, which was fucking cowabunga. Oh god, he did it. He did it. Sculpting. Sculpting is the shit. Tubular is fuck, man. It is honey. It was fruit run. It was pine. It was bliss in my mouth. Tubular Rosa. Yes. It was tubular Rosa. I apologize to all Californians because I don't know you're slaying. And that's-- Did it tell a cool name? Some eye text. Great depictions of Californians do not represent the ideas and thoughts of the beers. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like a the worst operation IV cover band ever. Thank you, Grant. Hey, you're welcome. I'm glad you appreciated it. God, why are you on this show? So I was angry. So I love your organ drill shirt. Thank you guys for listening. Hey. Thanks for having us. But you're not. Oh, you need to listen. You met the listeners. No, I never listened. I know you're never listening. That's part of the problem. No, I'm just going to say thank everybody for listening. You guys are wonderful and very patient. But maybe they're just as drunk as we are. No, probably that too. I'm not listening. Hopefully not. I guess you're probably driving. But I mean, they're driving-- They can care of your child? Yeah. I mean, they could be doing all that fucking blasted. Grant, thank you for being here. Hey, thanks for having me. Dude, you are epic. That was amazing. I heard your end of my critiques. Not anesthesia. What? You know, if I didn't know I'm not. There's a psych. Oh, fuck. I'm getting on all sides. I just 90s do. Go talk to you. You know, if I didn't have boobs, I wouldn't be on the show. Oh, yes. You would. It's cool. I mean, it makes me sad because then I wouldn't have boobs. And then I couldn't do-- [MIMICING] No, it looks so-- That's amazing for everybody listening. With every-- there she did, there was a boob shake. And it was-- there's all these people that realized what them ads mean. And out there, like going back and forth, see what they're masturbating. Yeah. [MIMICING] Complete vagibodies. Sorry. Ryan, thank you again for showing up. I'm sorry that you got married. Ryan, congratulations on the marriage. You are now a married man on this podcast. Yeah. I-- I am so excited for you. Thank you for being here and for-- There's two claps. I'm trying to clap. What a pathetic clap. I'm just going to go back and do-- It's like a goblet. [LAUGHTER] Anastasia vomit, and I was going to end it all night. But I'm not going to this time, right? I hope you got the vomit. What the fuck is going on here? Anastasia just vomited into a glass. Are you OK? Yeah, I also got water on this part of my skirt from the other time. You're showing us your fucking monstrous bush. It works short. Yeah, I know I can see through it. Ryan, congratulations to you and your child, Brian. [LAUGHTER] It's such a big package of the compliment. No, you better. Hey, man, I can smell jealousy. That smells like a chipotle burp. [LAUGHTER] It's somewhat defiantly decoded, the Mexican DaVinci Code. But that's how it works. Thank you again for listening. [LAUGHTER] Jesus Christ, Ruby, if you need any of this. I'm just going to get it. Here, the best part about this is that we're going to have some fucking rocking music. I'm listening to the podcast. You're going to be fucking awesome in this. It's always a really cool music that makes it sound better than before. It always sounds great. It's so cool. Hey, everyone, listening. Please go ahead and send us your emails. You can send them to info@thebearers.com. We'd love to get them and read them on the episode. That said, we'd also like you to rate us on iTunes. We have the Beerus on iTunes. Please go there. Give us a five-star ranking. And if you put your comments down, we will read that on the episode. We'd love to hear the feedback from you guys. It really means a lot to us. If you send $1, we'll probably measure your name on donations. Otherwise, it'd be a shady organization. Speaking of donations, yeah, go to thebearers.com. You'll see a PayPal link on there. Click on that, and please give us donations right now. We're trying to do fundraising, so we can go to the GABF. Yes! This year, 2013, we're going to do some great coverage for y'all. We're going to make it fun. If you guys happen to be there, please follow us on Facebook and on Twitter. Yeah, nor do tastebook.com/thebearers. And twitter.com/thebearers. Because we're going to be telling you all the cool events that we're going to be going to. And if you aren't going to GABF, still follow us there. Because we give you cool notes. We're there to talk to you guys about beer. We actually are very passionate about it. We all interact. And we'd love to hear back from you guys. That was way better than I could manage right now. I know. I really see it. You are really drunk. Every time you do it-- They got to invite professionals. Can't dodge a little bit inside. No, grand is living. I just earned my wings right there. How about they weren't red? Well, I thought you were-- I thought you were-- when you go down on period girls. That's a red wing road. Yes, sir, it is. Red wings are also boots. I'm confused. You go down on the girl with a period and you get boots? Yeah. I wish. Depends on how deep you go. Somebody needs to work that out. Somebody needs to go. If I could get a sponsorship from the boot company-- Guys, the saddest thing about this episode is that this is not as good as our first episode on night movies. [LAUGHTER] We are so good on that one. That episode, we were at our optimal. Now, fuck bottoms up. Dude, I can't believe you saved that for the end. That's so awesome. It's all it's like-- That sucks so bad. Fucking suck. I'm so happy. Good night. Oh, fuckable. Bottoms down. [LAUGHTER] I can't just say that. [MUSIC PLAYING] More information on the Beerists podcast, including show notes and pictures, visit thebeerists.com. Email us your feedback, comments, questions, and suggestions at info@thebeerists.com. Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/thebeerists and follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/thebeerists. I'm John Rubio. Thanks again for listening. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [BLANK_AUDIO]
