I always think it's a mistake to go out drinking all day before we record a show. Why? You woke up this morning, didn't you? Yeah, I did. It was fucking awful. Yeah, I know. I didn't have anything to drink today until people started getting here and hey, my fridge is empty. What are we preguing with? I don't know. I had a Hans pills a couple of hours ago and it was kind of rough. So we'll see how this goes. You guys rarely drink heavily though before an episode. You've probably only done that about like 50 or 60 times. We are on episode 64, so yeah, and that sounds right. Yesterday we went to Jester King and we started drinking at like 1230 and came back to my place afterwards and it went well on into the night and it was a mistake. But we had fun. It was a good time. And I'm John Rubio. Sorry. I need to introduce myself. And I'm Grant Davis. Grant, how's it going, dude? I feel bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I don't like you guys. I have not seen you this fresh looking in a while. Andy's got a kid. I don't know. I actually did wake up at a hangover today as well, but I use this stuff called aspirin. I feel great. It's a good Father's Day hangover. That's nice. Yeah. Ah, thank you, buddy. No problem. And speaking of Father's Day, Mike Lambert, hey, fuck you. Thanks for having me. And then you're watching me with a kid? No, I don't. I don't wish that pain on anybody. And in our fourth chair today, Caroline Wallace, this is her first time on here. How are you? I'm good. How are you doing? Good. Good. Tell us a little bit about yourself. You have a cool little project that you work on. Yeah. I along with six other girls actually run a site called Bitchbeard.org. Yes. All female run beer site, we do a lot of news, reviews, features, that kind of thing. That's awesome. That's sexy as shit. I'm going to sexually harass you this whole time. Yeah. Perfect. Considering some of the beers that are on this line. And now we'll get to that in a bit, but first. Before all of that, I want to do an email that I wanted to read, not because it was a question or because it was interesting, but because it made me laugh. And it goes like this. It says, I loved listening to you review a couple of the beers local to my neck of the woods, the syphilis infected crab crawling, dingle tag of the United States. He's talking about Florida. Florida. Florida. He says, I was happy to see my tastes matching up well with you, the experts, or to put it another way. If you all actually liked the shit Florida brewing company, it puts out, I'd have had to put my iPod in a bag, taking a postbender port of potty special and said bag, lit it on fire and chucked it all the way to Corpus Christi or Austin or wherever the hell you all record this thing at, for being horrible, sold out frauds, glad that didn't happen. Me too. Because once you shit on an iPod, it's done. Yeah. Florida really voids the wards. Yeah. Yeah. Florida brewing puts out up flavored Bud Light just enough for the party Hicks lost the party Hicks. I love that. Pasty Hicks. Pasty Hicks. I just invented party Hicks. I'm going to stick with that. Lost Alzheimer's refugees and juvenile delinquents to claim their drinking craft beer. Things at that, I actually like swamp ape. I'm not going to shit on my iPod and throw it in the lake. But I liked swamp ape so much, I was surprised Florida brewing puts it out, although it's been ages since I had it may have been my virgin unrefined taste at the time, confused strong with good. I'll have to try it again. And you're going to not like it. The standout breweries in Florida are the Mac House and Cigar City. I've never had Mac House done. Neither have I. He says, although the Mac House brews in the Carolinas now, only the brew pub is in Fort Lauderdale. That brew pub is worth a visit though. Best beer I've ever tasted. They make a wormwood stout that I still want to taste. Eat your faces later, Siegfried in Florida. Eat your faces later. Yeah. This guy's badass. Nice. That's salt Siegfried. Thank you so much Siegfried, we appreciate it. We got a couple of iTunes shout outs that I want to go over. Williamsburg Brooklyn Mike says he's an avid beer listener and listening to the beerists has inspired him to seek out new beers and have bottle shares with his friends. Awesome. Nice. Fuck yeah. That's the best way to do it, man. Unitard fan. Nice. I love these days. Unitard fan says we start to feel like old friends after a while because you're worried of Unitard. And our podcast is a great way to learn about craft beer and develop the vocabulary for better flavor descriptions. That's really cool. Thank you, Unitard fan. Go forth and continue wearing Unitard. Yes. And I read those out. They leave reviews and rate us on the iTunes music store. And if you guys want to do that for us, do a search for the beerists, give us a five-star rating. It really helps the show out and write a review. And when you write that review, I can see your name and thank you for it on the show. And if you have a really cool username, we'll laugh at you. Thank you so much. We got some donations this week. Yes. One from Greg Ramirez, which was fucking awesome. Thank you so much, Greg. Wade Jensen, thank you also. Brendan Ledbeater, who's he's a guy in New York. He's an architect. And he's really, really, really wanting to find work with a brewery, like he wants to design a brewery. You know, if anybody out there knows anybody who wants to make a brewery or needs a brewery designed or any of that stuff looking for an architect, shoot me an email and I'll send it over to Brendan. But thank you guys so much for the donations. We're trying to get to the Great American Beer Festival and we can't do it without you. So get on thebeerists.com on the left hand side of the page. There's a PayPal donate link, click on it and shoot us a little bit of money. Give us your money. Please do. It's going to help us out immensely and we really, really appreciate it. We want monies. Who doesn't fucking want money? Money's delicious. All monies. Grants can only have part of the monies. Let's get to our beers. And our first beer for today is called Arrowhead Pale Ale. And this was sent to us by Evan Gundy as part of a new giant box of beer that he sent us. Again? Yeah. We just got it a couple of days ago. But this is from Marshall Brewing Company in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It's 5.2% ABV, 40 IBUs, and it's a summer seasonal available in 12 ounce bottles and on draft. Marshall, do they make El Cucui? Yes. Okay. I think that's the only beer I've ever had from them. Actually, we had a stout also off the mic at one point that he said this for Marshall. That was actually very good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Checking this beer out. Man, there's a lot of sediment. It's super golden foggy. Very well carbonated, it seems. Nice bit of head. But like, yeah, lots of sediment on the bottom. Yeah. I should have looked at it. Ooh. Very fruity floral. That smells really good. Really? Yeah. But then there's some nice hot notes that are coming through. It smells like citra. Mm-hmm. It really smells like citra hops. But yeah, very citric, very light and effervescent smelling and sort of smell a little bit cardboardy to you. No, not really. I mean, there's something kind of home-brewy about it. Talk about it in the nose or in the flavor? Yeah, in the nose. I think it smells fantastic. I love this fresh tangerine orange juice nose that I'm getting from here. There's a little bit of floral quality to it too. Yeah, more fruity than floral, but definitely. Yeah. Are you two the drinking? Yeah. I don't even think I said it. I took a sip and that actually drinks pretty fucking well to me. It's easy to put down. That's for sure. There's... Oh, that you meant. It's easier to set this glass down and say, "I'm done drinking that." Yeah. I mean, it's not offensive in any way. It's not overly spectacular either. I think. It's easy to drink. For a pale ale, I wish there was a little bit more hot flavor. It seems like it's all hot-bittering. Really? To me, on the tail end. Huh. I'm not getting very much bitterness at all. I'm getting a lot of bitter bite at the end. I'm missing it too. Yeah. I'm getting a lot of citrual-like hops at the beginning. That's got a little bit more grassiness and maybe a little dank quality to it. But it finishes lightly bitter to me and really clean. I really like this. I'm definitely getting a bitterness on the end. Crazy. I mean, relative... Maybe we got a different bottle. Relative to the rest of the flavor. Right. For me anyway. I think my pallet shot from last night. Hopefully we can resuscitate that with one of the upcoming beers, which is like a hundred and something I've used. But I really like the lightness of this and I like the hop flavor. I think the hop flavor is really nice in this. And it's light enough to where it makes sense to me as a summer seasonal. Most people will do very, very light things for summer beers. And this has a little bit more heft than some of those, I think. But it's still light and drinkable and... Oh, this is a summer release? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's pretty nice. It's easy. I think it comes across a little bit asperny. Really the taste to me as well. Also I'm getting bitterness on the back end that Mike's talking about. I get the citrusy burst at the front as well. But as it washes over, I kind of think aspirin. I'm feeling you there. I'm missing it too. I feel like we got the same. Yeah. It's funny because both of these, all of these glasses were mixed bottles. Oh, yeah. Each glass had both bottles. I think it's totally solid but maybe not super remarkable. I'd buy the hell out of this if it was here in Texas. I mean, if I could get it in Texas. I'm digging it. I'm really enjoying this. Especially if it was in a can. Oh, this in a can would be awesome. There's something kind of honey like to it too. It's a very slight bit of, I wouldn't say sweetness because I really wouldn't describe this as a sweet beer or anything that stands out as being sweet. But there's something kind of floral and honey like in the middle that I'm really enjoying too. It's like clover honey. Yeah. The carbonation's great. I'm a fan. Sorry you guys don't. I don't know. I mean, that's funny too because I was going to say it tastes a little flat to me as well. Really? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That's funny too because I was going to say it tastes a little flat to me as well. Really? Yeah. It's just not great. Sure. It's just I'm kind of at that point where it's just unremarkable. I disagree. I like that. This is no indeed. That's for sure. Well, very few things are indeed great. I really like the nose. Maybe I'm just a little bit more disappointed by the taste than you. No. Yeah. I'm thinking it. Not that I'm going to pour it out. Let's not get crazy. I'm going to put it down. My throat. That worked. Yeah. I like that a lot. Should we move on to the next one? I feel like we should close it. This one. No. No, I want to close it with ethos. It's a bigger one. All right. This next beer was given to me by our buddy Robert Lutter and this is Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout from White Koop Brewing Company in Denver, Colorado. It's 7.5% ABV, three BPBs, which means balls per barrel. Yeah. This is actually brewed with bull balls. You don't say. No. Freshly sliced. Freshly sliced bull testicles. It's available in 2-pack 12-ounce cans. 2-pack? Really? Yes. Nice. They clink together. Yeah. And they're available in cans and on draft. And the ingredients include Colorado base molds, roasted barley, 7 specialty molds, steering golden tops and 25 pounds of freshly sliced and roasted bull testicles. This debuted at the GAVF in 2012 as a draft only offering. And this beer started out as an April Fools day video joke thing. And they make this in these tiny little 8-barrel batches instead of their usual 20-barrel small batches. So it's part of their new even smaller batch series of beers. This new hand-canned version of Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout is being sold in unique 2-packs of labeled 12-ounce cans. It'll be available at select retailers in Denver. And Carolyn, you're not drinking any of this? It's not a ball thing. Yeah, I was going to say, where do you draw the line on balls entering your mouth? I was going to say. I see you just, like, on the side of the road with balls all the time. Why is this the best? You thought it was my thing, but I'm a vegetarian, so I'm going to have to. Also I went to GAVF this year when they had this beer, and some of my vegetarian friends were drinking it, and I was super fucking judgy to them. Probably in bad taste if I were to drink it now. No bowls were actually harmed in the harvesting of their balls, I think. I think they were killed. Yeah. I think they were harmed, I think they were harmed, they're dead, I think that counts since it's harmed. It's just the crazy vegetarians with their vegetarianism will only eat the balls that are alive. But once they're dead, it'll become something. Yeah. That's sad because you're missing out. I love balls. I actually, not even a vegetarian, I just said that so you guys could. Three dudes drink more balls. Yeah. Three dudes with three balls in their mouth, H-E-N. This is how we bond, you know. Can I be the first to say this smells a bit nutty? Tell me about the mouth feel. Also balls. It feels a little brainy in the mouth. Okay, so it's a pretty dark beer, there's a bit of a highlight around the edge. Yeah, look at those legs. It's like we're in fucking middle school right now. There's no head on this at all. It's really sticking to the side of the glass. It actually is. All jokes decide, yeah, it is sticking to the side of the glass. You know, that smells really good actually. Really nice and multi dark molds, some coffee, some chocolate. Yeah. There's something umami about it. Yeah, I'm curious, do you smell any kind of like beefy characteristics? It does smell like a nice, rich stout. Having just taken a sip of this, I would never know that there were. There were balls in it. It doesn't taste like your bad decisions. Right. I love how it rolls over my tongue. Yeah. And kind of gargles in the back of my throat. Like quit. Like quit. Hey, hey, Grant, you've got a, you've got a hair in your, in your shoes. Oh, no, that's not from these balls. You got here with that. No, this isn't bad. It's not bad. I mean, it's a pretty decent stout. I guess there are lots of dark molds on the flavor as well. There's some rich caramelized sugars that I'm getting off of this too. And I'm not tasting anything meaty or beefy or anything. You're right. I don't think if you didn't tell me there were balls I'd noticed. I guess it's just all for the novelty because otherwise it's fine beer. Maybe there's a little, like you said, umami, something there, you know, just a little bit of that savory quality that you would expect to find on some caramelized proteins, like caramelized meat. Mm-hmm. I'm from the side from that, you know, it's a pretty standard stout. Mainly, yeah, I get cocoa and a little bit of coffee. Mm-hmm. Maybe a touch of coconut or something. I don't think they included enough balls to really impact the flavor. Did I really tell you guys the story about when I was at the draft house for Fantastic Fest? No. I went to see Fantastic Fests last year and the first movie I got into was called The Final Member. It's a documentary about this guy who lives in Iceland and is a penis collector of all animals. Oh, yeah. And the final member is him trying to collect a human specimen to finally complete his collection in his museum. Alamo draft house is this movie theater here in Austin that likes to do quirky things. They give people food during the movies you can get beer. They said right before the movie started, so we're going to have a special little treat that our chef cooked up. You'll be able to eat it during the show and at the end we'll tell you what it is. So it's like, okay, cool. They brought it and it looked like a little tater tot in the plastic dish and it had a little sauce on it and I was like, okay, I'll try it. I ate it and chewed it up and at the end of the movie they never came and told us what it was. And then we say, I have no clue what I ate that makes it... What animal's penis is this? I just ate something during a dick movie that makes it so much better than they told you it was a dick. It's worse than the, what even was that? I don't know now. That's awesome. Was the dick movie good? It was actually my favorite thing I saw at the festival and I saw a bunch of great films. It was very surprising because I had written it off right beforehand. No, as this thing is warming up, I'm getting more of that chocolatey roast coffee thing going on. And it's pretty nice, man. This is pretty nice. I could drink the hell out of some balls. You really can. You won an award for drinking a bunch of balls, huh? Yeah. Every time. The award happens directly after you won the Golden Kneepads award. If they're at any old Golden Kneepads, I don't know. I think I'm getting something, there's a little bit of a greenness somewhere in the middle there. I don't know, like maybe a grassy sort of hop component to it and the bitterness is kind of growing as well. And I see Mike has slurped those balls right down real quick. You're done. Real quick. Oh, yeah. It was a good stout. Yeah. Grandma I like to take her time. Yeah. We savor this. I get that it's these bull balls, but I get kind of hint of like donkey balls on it. Is that weird? Yeah. Man, if they did like single ball multi-species versions of these, just did different balls per batch. You could really try and identify different ball dates. Yeah. I think these are just a little young, maybe like veal balls, but we used a little more time to make sure. Oh, these are definitely equine balls. Yeah. For sure. These balls are a bit young. Chris Hanson's going to come in. Oh, no. The veal balls. The veal balls. The veal balls sound amazing. That's where they just get a regular bull, but they build these like square cages around their balls when they're young. They're poor balls. Can't stand up. Yeah. Sweet balls, bro. Let's move on to the next one. That was good. I mean, I'd fucking have that again. I'll ask for it by name. So our next beer is another beer that was given to us by Chase Smiley, the guy who gave us our SIRLY episode. I still don't think that's his real fucking name. Chase Smiley, man. That's his name. Chase Smiley. And this beer is called Ethos IPA, and it's a dry hopped India Pale Ale from Tallgrass Brewing Company, Manhattan, Kansas, 8.6% ABV, 110 IBUs, and this is a year-round offering, I believe, available in 16 ounce cans and on draft. And this has got a pretty epic write-up, so I'm just going to read this for you. The beer foretold in legend. Six types of hops are gathered from the corners of the world to make this legendary brew. This is no earthly IPA. They will write ballads, build monuments, paint caves and sacrifice goats to this beer. They will drink Ethos and dance to shake the heavens. The aroma is the harbinger of the tastes to come. Big, bright, and beautiful, this beer exceeds all expectations and grants wishes. Twice dry hopped and brewed with the aid of a dark alliance from another realm. This beer bestows upon you all of the complexity of the hops' flavors without overwhelming your senses. Ethos IPA is a gift to you, beer mortals. Drink it and fulfill the destiny. I know that we've brought some back from Oklahoma's where I had gone. Oh, wow. That nose tangerines, some pine needles. Lots of pine and citrusy tangerines, more of a sweet citrus. Oh, this is good. I'm not getting super piney. Did you really drink it? I did. You got to do it. I'm just jumping in. This is the smelling portion. That smells really clean, too. There's a lot of bright hops. I mean, it doesn't smell resiny. There's a lot of pine and stuff, but it's not sappy or any of that stuff. Yeah. You can drink. There's kind of a honey sweetness on this one as well. Yeah, it's a very candy like aroma. It's really nice. All right. Yeah. This is pretty damn solid. Oh, dig it. Oh, that's good. That's way cleaner than I thought it would be. This is the best beer from tall grass that I've had. Man. The other ones that I had were kind of meh, this is really, really good. How many BPPs is this stuff? There's no balls in this. Oh, no. Zero. How can it be this good? There's no balls. Does it read the fucking right up? I'll do it again. That's how old it is. It's legend. The can definitely matches the description. Look how primitive this is. I know. It's looking. It's not a bull's balls. It's an orok. It's kind of like a whole devil-like character here. I know. And then it looks like the exorcist thing that flashes on the screen when the blair gets nevermind. Don't give it away. I'm trying them. Okay. I'm trying to run a show. No. So the first thing that I taste when I take a sip of this, it's almost like orange peel and pine. But I'm really loving how carbonated this is also from the get-go. It's really effervescent. It just explodes in your mouth like balls. I've got to... I'm sorry. I've got to stop with the balls. God, just get out of my mouth. So there's that and it's a nice dry beer. I was expecting it to be a little bit more sweet based on the nose, but it's a pretty dry beer. Thankfully. Mm-hmm. I think that if it was as sweet as the nose implies, it wouldn't be as good. Yeah. I love that. It has that bitter bite at the front, the nice sweet wash, and then the bitter bite at the end. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's like a delicious Oreo of hops. It's really weird because that hop flavor lingers, kind of a mid-level bitterness that kind of sticks around also, but usually when you have that sort of accumulation of hops, it's the bitterness that builds, but this, it seems like the flavor is building more than the bitterness. I'm like loving how my mouth tastes right now. I know. It's amazing. I want to brush my teeth tonight. Mm-hmm. And brush it with a hop cone. Mm-hmm. That's kind of what this is like. It's like brushing your teeth with a hop cone. You can think of worse things to brush your teeth right. True. Challenge accepted. Mm-hmm. But you're a vegetarian. [laughter] Yeah, this is one of those beers that I'm a-okay with swishing around my mouth like it's a scope. And there's a mild astringency to it. It dries the inside of your mouth just a little bit, but it's not distracting from any of the flavors at all. I do feel the hops kind of accumulating in all the areas, the nooks and crannies and my mouth and on my teeth. Oh, yeah. It definitely builds as you drink more and more. Absolutely does. [laughter] Grant is making like jaw faces. [laughter] And I agree with that. I have to do an example for everyone else, so you know what jaw faces are. Just imagine a guy going, he's doing that. And my mouth also feels like that right now. - Yeah. - But in a good way. - Yeah, sure. - I figure that should be like the bearest catchphrase. But in a good way. (laughing) Baby divers, but in a good way. - Ball vomit. (laughing) - Wait, that's a different thing. - Ball vomit. - Sorry. - Please explain. - No. - Ball vomit. - I'll draw it in a good way. - I'll draw you a picture. - I'll draw you a picture. - I'll draw you a picture. - I'll draw you a picture. - I'll draw you a picture. - I'll draw you a picture. - I'll draw you a picture. - I'll draw you a picture with my dick. (laughing) - This is delicious. I fucking love this beer. And yeah, I really wish I had a bunch more. - Chase, we wish we had a bunch more. (laughing) - No, I mean, we could also just say, I really wish I had a bunch more of this ethos IPA from Tallgrass because we did that review of that indeed beer. - Yeah. - And indeed brewing company heard the episode. And they're like, "Hey, what's your address?" So they're gonna be sending us a package. - Tied sweet. - Sweet, yeah. So other breweries out there. (laughing) Hey, Tallgrass, this ethos IPA is especially delicious. - Man, it's the finest. (laughing) - Three Floyd's, I'd just like to say. (laughing) Russian River. Three Floyd's isn't here about you at all. Three Floyd's is an asshole. - They love you. (laughing) - Hi, Benny. You know? Okay, we're not doing that. - I wish every day was Dark Lord Day. (laughing) - You actually don't because-- - That beer's fucking suckin' there. - Dark Lord Day is awful. Like Dark Lord is awful. The Dark Lord Day is fun. I like that. - Right. - But it's probably the worst beer they make. - Don't you pay to get in the door to pay for the beer? - Yeah. - Is that the program from understanding it correctly? - Yeah, but the rest of their beers are fantastic. Like I really, really love-- - That business model though probably doesn't work. No one really shows up for that, right? (laughing) - Fuck. That was the most crowded fucking shit show I've ever been to, it was amazing. - But yeah, I mean, most of three Floyd's beers are fucking great, but then there's Dark Lord. - I don't care. I want them to send us 50 zombie dusts and we'll just do an entire episode and we'll try like six zombie dust in a row. Okay, we'll do that. - Quality dust. - That sounds awesome, right? The next one is even better than the last one. (laughing) - Now that it's warmed up 'cause we want to drink the other five bottles. (laughing) - God damn it, we should take a break. Yeah, let's do it. - More beer. - Okay, we'll do that. I don't know if I have any more beer. We drank it all last night. - You drank all of the beer, Mike. - We drank all of our beer. - For the record listeners at home, might have gone through some of his beer, shit load of beer compared to a normal human still in that fridge. - That's true, that's great. - Yeah, but it's still, I don't know, my eyes are very skewed. We're just gonna have to put a tap on Mike and get the beer right back out of his body. (laughing) I'm pretty sure he's sweating beer right now. - It's pretty fresh. - Now, if you lick to Mike, I'd be like licking a frog and getting all fucked up. - I did lick Mike actually. It tasted like Rocky Mountain noises. (laughing) - What part of Mike did you lick? - He did. (laughing) Let's take a break. ♪ We've got a big bones ♪ ♪ We've got a big bones ♪ ♪ We've got a big bones ♪ ♪ That isn't false ♪ ♪ He's got a big bones ♪ ♪ She's got a bones ♪ ♪ And we've got the best ♪ ♪ The bones of the world ♪ ♪ We've got a big bones ♪ ♪ We've got a big bones ♪ ♪ And then just ♪ ♪ You can take some above the moon ♪ ♪ And we've got the best ♪ ♪ Wonderful fun we've got ♪ - So on the break, we had a bunch of other beers for each of the genitals. No, we didn't. (laughing) It's a wind-coop series. - Can I tell? - Oh, you know, I understand your vegetarian. You missed a good beer on that one. How do you feel about civic beer? (laughing) - I never said I don't eat shit. (laughing) - Meat, right? Coppie-lewack. - Yeah, I mean, you wanna come hang out later? (laughing) I do appreciate your standards. (laughing) Can you explain this to me? - Well, it's a beer that's brewed with coffee that was shit out by a weasel, essentially. - Yeah. - So you're pretty much drinking weasel shit. - And it was good. - Yeah. - Why don't they wash the seeds? - I'm sure they do. (laughing) - Oh, okay. (laughing) Yeah, I'm pretty sure they wash it. (laughing) - It's the most expensive coffee in the world. - It is. You had some, right? Well, I mean, I make it for free. (laughing) - Oh no. (laughing) - Some Rubio-conditioned coffee. - Yeah, doesn't taste as good as when the weasel does it. - Yeah, go over at Tim Leagues House. - Weasel coffee? - Yeah. - Yeah, it's delicious. I like weasel coffee. Let's move on. (laughing) We're about to try this next beer, which is Farmers Reserve Number Three from Almanac Beer Company in San Francisco, California. This is an ale-aged and wine barrels with strawberries and nectarines. It's 6% ABV, and this is available in 375 milliliter bottles and limited draft. And this is a really cool beer. I'm gonna read some of the description. Our third entry into our Barrel-Aged Farmers Reserve Series is in an ode to summer. When summer comes to California's farmers markets, the stands explode with mountains of stone fruit and strawberries. We selected the sweetest coastal strawberries from Swanton Berry Farm and high summer crimson baby nectarines from Blossom Bluff Farms to make this tart wild ale as a celebration for California's summer. Aged for 12 months and used white wine barrels with our blend of Belgian wild yeast and bacteria, this tart and bright wild ale has a huge aroma and tart finish. And they suggest some pairings, some food pairings, grilled nectarines wrapped in prosciutto, summer salads with strawberries, and toasted almonds, triple cream cheeses. Ooh, that sounds awesome. This would have to suck for me to not love it 'cause there's that description. - So did you pour it clean or did you put some of the dregs in there? - I didn't, well I tried not to put a whole bunch of dregs in there. - Okay, I'm sorry. - No, that's fine. - So that was yours was the last last one. - I'm into dregs. - Yeah, that was a hazy straw. - Yeah, hazy straw color and light head. - Tight little bit of head. - And man, this smells great. - It smells awesome. - A huge nectarine. - A little bit of strawberry maybe in there too. - No, it smells like strawberries and nectarines and lemon or something. There's a really nice tart lactic, I don't wanna say lime. - Yeah, something like that. There's a sour citrus thing there. But quite a lot of that lactic acid. And there's a grassiness to it or something that reminds me of a field. - Oh, totally. - So I took a sip. You know when you haven't had something tart in a while and your jaw just like convulses on you? - Yes. - Yeah, that happened. So sorry about that. (grunting) - That's delicious. - Yeah, this is really good. - Wow, I'm really impressed by how much strawberry it comes through on this. That's a really hard ingredient to work with. There's so many that are packed with strawberries and you don't taste it at all. - And most of the time when you get strawberries in a beer and you taste the strawberries, they taste almost like frozen strawberries and syrup, right? - Yeah, and honestly. - Or kind of like, yeah, artificial quick strawberries. - Yeah, tastes like fresh strawberries right off the fucking vine or whatever they grow on. (laughing) - Probably the bushel. - Yes, I think they're on trees or something. - Who is it? Hanson's makes a strawberry sour. - Oh, they should do. - That's either salad dressing, just hugely vinegary or like the last bottle that I got actually showcased the strawberry pretty well. - Yeah. - Much like this is doing. - And this definitely fucking does that. It's very, very like. There's that lactic sourness there. It's almost a little bit salty or minerally too. There's a bit of a, I don't know, like a mineral quality too. - Almost. Yeah, I think it's really minerally. - And not, by the way, overpowering the nectarine at all. I'm still getting a ton of nectarine. - Yeah, the nectarine is also there quite a bit, but I keep on just thinking about the strawberries because that's what's coming to the front. But wine is coming through quite a bit for me as well. - Sure. - The barrel character's buried in there, but it's definitely present. - Yeah, yeah. And there's a nice little touch of spice. Maybe an impression of cinnamon or something, there's a very slight bit of that there. - I find that cinnamon really helps to cut a lot of sours. I always get cinnamon out of Wisconsin Belgian red. - Yeah. - And the raspberry tart. - I do too, and I think that that's a combination of the Belgian yeast and the cherries. - They're not pouring a bunch of cinnamon in there? - I mean, maybe they had cinnamon in there, I don't know, but there are some fruits that when you dry those fruits will express something like cinnamon. Dry cherries is a big example of that. If you ever want to taste what naturally occurring, not really cinnamon, cinnamon flavors taste like, have a dry cherry and then you get some of that there. - This is really good. - Also really tart, I keep making sour faces, I'm sorry. - No, this is so good. We had one of these yesterday, I opened one up at Just Your King 'cause I bought three bottles of this and immediately after tasting it sent an email to a guy saying to send me five more. - Yeah. - Please send me five more. - And one of the other things that we did at Just Your King was we found that the dregs of this is completely different than the regular beer. It really has, what was it, nectarine? - Yes. - Hugely nectarine. - I wonder since I got the last glass that that's why I tasted a lot of nectarine. - Yeah, and there's actually quite a bit more in this bottle. So let's just divide this up and see what it does to the beer. - I'm in. - I didn't realize that fruit flavors could just hang in suspension. - I know. - I know. - Oh wow. - Yeah, so I just pour in everybody the dregs of this. - It does shift it. - It does shift it, right? - Right dramatically. - Yeah, because when you pour it clean, when you leave all the sediment at the bottom, you do get a lot of strawberries. I think that strawberry is the dominant flavor. But everything that settles down to the bottom is just fleshy nectarine flavor with a little bit more of a softness and some farm equalities. - Yeah, with this beer, I'm making a very puckered face with the last one, the ethos. I was doing that jaw thing. - Yeah. - Then with the ball one, I was just like gurgling about it. - Yeah. - It's masturbating furiously. (laughing) - I appreciate it. You guys are so cool and didn't mention that on my-- - I didn't know it was okay to do that. (laughing) - Oh, Mike's just started masturbating, goddamn it. - The beer just takes a very awkward turn after this. - It's gonna be really difficult editing out on my crying. (laughing) - This too is acting as a looper. (laughing) - It's okay, Michael. - And just gonna get the poison out. (laughing) - Man, this fucking beer is great. I love the carbonation on this too. Like the amount of carbonation is perfect, but-- - I just love thinking about like the idea that one of these breweries, like, Indeed Brewery is listening to us and like, okay, they're reviewing our beer. (laughing) And during the review of their beer, it's talking about Mike masturbating and crying. (laughing) - You know, that's just the way life is. I like to think that we give an accurate representation of what life is. And sometimes life includes drinking balls, pooping and master crying. (laughing) - It's a lot better than, you know, five stars, or-- - Oh, no, I'm also crying. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm really in love with this beer. And they've got a few other of the farmers' reserve, and I don't remember off the top of my head what they added to those beers, like what fruits or botanicals or spices they added. But I wanna try all of them. I really do, and I wish I could get the rest of them, but this is the only one that I can get right now. - I really dig this beer. I'm glad you got five more. - Me too. If you need any help, my buddy. I mean, I'll be there. - Did you say my body? - Said body. - Oh, okay. (laughing) You'll be needing my body. We're good to be busy. - Can you need any help with your body? - If you need any help with your body. I'll do it as payment for one of these beers. - I'm really trying to get more in tune with my body and yours. (laughing) Let's move on to the next beer. Let's please, yeah. The next beer is Si7 IPA. And this is another one from Chase Smiley. This is from Steelto Brewing Company at a St. Louis Park, Minnesota. It's 7% ABV, 77 IBUs, and it's a year round offering in 22 ounce bottles and on draft. I'm gonna read the write up to this. It says, while the size of the boot might be a bit small, the intensity of the hop flavor in a Roman Si7 more than makes up for it. We take prodigious amounts of hops and add them any chance we get to this Northwest style IPA. If you ever call Si7 balanced, we'll kick you right where it hurts. And in parentheses, it says in the hopsack. - Why do they need to have that? - I know, like, oh, we'll kick you where it hurts. You automatically go to balls. How many ball references are in their show? - I was kind of bummed out, no one came up with a hopsack during the ball segment. (laughing) It was like a ball IPA would've been. - We're really dropping the ball. (laughing) Get on the ball. - Do we make fun of Chase Smiley's name yet? - Yeah, we always do. - Okay, he's a car salesman, I swear. He's gotta be, if that's his real name. - Yeah, find out what his profession is, but that's my bet. - He's a alter ego named Chase Brownie. - Yes, he's apparently a jukeau because of the jukeau podcast kingdom that he's a part of. I just wanna give him a little plug again. - Yeah, wink. - But, (laughing) I'm sure it's good. - Mostly transparent? - Yeah, as a jazz parent, rich golden color, almost amber, or tiger's eye or something, I don't know. (laughing) - Tiger's eye. - Don't judge. - I don't remember that in the Crayola. - I like 25 beers in. Real thin smattering of head. - That smells pretty nice. There's a lot of hops on that nose. Sweetness too, it almost smells like a hop candy again, and there's floral and piney hops. - Yeah, I was gonna say kind of resiny. - Like sugar candy pine needles. - Yeah. - Mmm. - They should make that until I didn't source. - Candy grapefruit maybe in the nose too. - Yeah, a little bit. - So, the other day at the draft house, ruin actually passed me some hop candy, like some hop flavored hard candy. - Oh yeah, I've had some of that too. - And it tastes exactly like this. - Really? - Yeah. - Okay, I gotta taste this. Where does one get hop candy? - I don't know, I didn't ask you. - You can actually go away from ruin, is that what you're saying? - You can actually order that. - That's not bad. - That's another one that's drier than I expected it to be. - I really like the finish on this beer. - Oh yeah. - There's quite a lot of pine there, and a bit of grapefruit pithy sorts of hop notes. - Yes, it's just those two completely. - It's just like the ethos, you know, that hoppiness really hangs out in your mouth a little bit, but not in a bitter chewy kind of aftertasting one. - Yeah, I can't help but think of gin. Okay, in a way, there's like a juniper note. Right, there's a juniper sort of quality to that. I totally get that. - Me too. - They should cedar age this, or gin barrel aged, or something like that. That would be amazing. It's got a very big mouth feel. There's a lot of body to this. - Yeah, this one's building as well. - And I like it, but it's incredibly smooth. - I know, and that's the thing that was very surprising to me, is like when I took a sniff of it, I thought it was going to be a very sweet, hoppy beer, but really, it's pretty dry. I mean, there's a touch of sweetness there, and there's a lot of body there. But yeah, it's really easy to drink. - Again, if it was as sweet as the nose implied, I don't think I'd like it as much. I'm really happy that this dries out in the same year. - Thank you, Chase. - Yeah, Chase, thank you. It seemed like it was really exciting for us to try this beer because you kept on asking, "Hey, have you tried that size 70?" - Again, it's incredibly smooth. The mouth feel and the finish on this just makes it a really enjoyable drinking experience. - Yeah, really nice, soft carbonation. I mean, the carbonation's there, but it feels like it softens the beer up just a bit. - Would anyone dare say it's balanced? - I like my hot bags. (both laughing) - Hot sacks. (both laughing) - I mean, once you get closer to 40, they turn more into bags. (both laughing) It's sad, really great hot bags. (both laughing) - This is delicious. This is really good. I'm really enjoying this. This is pretty bitter. - It is. But it's not overwhelmingly bitter to me. It's not-- - It's not a-- It's not in the point where I'll go, "Well, I don't like this anymore." - Right. - It's still, "Ooh, that's bitter. I like it." - It's not a palate record or anything. - It's nice, though. - I think I'm at a point in my beer drinking career where it's getting harder and harder to impress me with IPAs 'cause a lot of them are just off the mark and the really, really good ones are few and far between. This is really good. And I think that for me, I'm with you about the IPAs or really beer and getting hard to be impressed by a lot of stuff because we drink a lot of different stuff. And it seems to me that with IPAs, the thing that I'm impressed by usually more often than not is restraint because people will just go crazy and it's really easy to hide imperfections totally when you dump a fuck ton of hops on it. And this has a lot of hops, but there's a restraint there in that they didn't go too fucking bitter, they didn't go too fucking sweet, they held back on a lot of these things and ended up with a better beer because of it. There's a bit of finesse here, yeah. - Eric Piga, who writes a local beer blog called "An Avenue" here in Austin, wrote an article about West Coast IPAs where you talked about, I like it here because we just talked about the hops sacks that a lot of West Coast breweries tend to just want to pull out their hop cocks. - That's true. - It's bitter, bitter, sick, you know? - Just really dip them in the beer for you. - Yeah, it seems to be a running theme. The hop cocks. - Hop cocks, hop sacks. - Just dip in your shit in the beer. - Yeah, so I was gonna call this episode "Catching Up" because we're catching up a little more. - Come on, you have to have a ball. - Catching up on some of the things that we were drinking, but I think I might call it "Drop in the ball." There you go, I wish there was more of this. - As this gets warmer, it's getting carmalier to me. I like it. - Yeah, or caramelized honey or something. - It's not exactly like burnt sugar caramel. - No, it's exactly burnt sugar. - Is it? - No. (laughing) - No, I mean, for me, it's a lighter. I understand caramel. You know, I understand the caramel. - I'm terrible at improv. I just don't go along with clothes sometimes. - No, no, no, no. I do understand what you're saying by caramel, but I think that also implies something a little bit richer than what I'm getting. - Yeah. - It's more just a slightly burnt beer. - No, it's very subtle too, yeah. As it warms up, it is getting a little bit more floral, I think. And that's helping this beer out quite a bit. Not that they really needed the help because it's delicious, but it's adding another layer that wasn't apparent before. - From Minnesota, huh? St. Louis Park, Minnesota. - Big ass boot on the label. - Hell yeah, punk rock is fuck. But it's size seven, so it's like-- (laughing) - He's a little guy. - Tiny little midget boot. - Beer goggles. - Delish, let's move on to our final beer. I'm excited about this. - Me too. - Who is this one given to us by? - This one's not given to us by anybody. I actually bought this one. - This one's given to us by Jonathan Rubio of zbearest.com. - I heard that was a pretty good show. - It's all right. - This is-- - Snow due cow. - You know, I could be. (laughing) Our final beer is Simtra IPA from knee deep brewing company in Lincoln, California. This is a triple IPA. It's 11.25% ABV, 131 IBUs. Oh goodness. - It's available 22 ounce bottles and on draft and we're pouring it from a 22 ounce bottle. I'm gonna read this. Simtra triple IPA delivers a punch in the face with its very danky hop aroma derived from Simco and Citra hops. You wanted more hops. You got 'em. - In a van down by the river. (laughing) That's how you sound it. (laughing) So these hops go up to 11, apparently. - Good gravy. - Can we talk about what qualifies a triple IPA? - Well, okay, so single IPA, double IPA, triple IPA. It's all just-- - It's marketing bullshit. - Yeah, pretty much. It just means it has a fuck 10 more hops and a fuck 10 more malt than you're used to. - Oh, okay. - I'm really excited to review this on Mike because my friends out in California have just been raving about that. - Okay, and this is a pretty beer. It looks like it's been filtered. It's completely-- - It's completely transparent. - Rich golden color also. - These items are a bit ahead, uh-huh. - Looks like a nice, small liquor. (laughing) - It smells-- - It smells so good. - It smells amazing. - Oh my gosh. (laughing) I think just smelling this, I can't pass a drug to me. (laughing) - Dank is right. - Orange marmalade. - Yeah, okay, so it's more pot. Like Grant was alluded to than orange marmalade, but there is that there too. - Wow. - Really, very awesome. - Oh, yeah, this smells like Mike's bedroom. (laughing) - If you put Mike in a bedroom, drizzle your pot and eating oranges all day, (laughing) and then do you just smell his chest? (laughing) After you realize how oddly comfortable you are, (laughing) you'll be like, "Oh, that's what this smells like." - Not a body part tasting today. (laughing) - No, I'm glad I smell like this all the time. (laughing) - That is a compliment. - Marijuana, orange marmalade, there's a bit of a mossy thing going on there too. But again, there's a bit of sweetness in the middle. - Yeah, there's a honey note to me. - Yeah, candy like honey. - Just like you, Mike. - Almost like a bit of honey, you know, like that candy? Oh, totally. - Yeah. - It's always nice when you mention a certain candy and I'm like, "Okay." - It's like (laughing) - Put something like that. - Now I get it. - Marzipone. - That's a bit of honey. - Yeah, okay, I'm sorry, I was in the middle of tasting this. Wow. (laughing) - That's good. What? - Oh, yeah. - Okay, this is gonna sound fucked up and I don't fully mean it after I say it. But the first thing I thought when I took a sip was spaghetti-os. (laughing) The way that it cut point. - No, don't. I'm tasting for spaghetti-os now. - I'm still absolutely good. This drink's really great for like a 9% alcohol beer, which is funny considering that's 11.25. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah, this is not a beastly. You could tell that it's got a lot of alcohol mainly because of how it tastes like a little bit of alcohol, but it has a huge body. - Yeah. - That it's got a giant body. And you could feel some of the heat as you exhale from this, but it's definitely a thick beer. But holy shit, it is so much Citra and so much Simco, and it starts out with the Citra. Like it starts out with that RNG, Tangerine, somewhat bitter hop, moves into that interesting, like- - Piney-o-resny-y pineapple. - And then it finishes with Citra, it seems. - I think it's a big beer, but that nice, hot profile distracts from it so much, I would have never guessed. - Yeah. - A 4.25. - There's so much else going on here except for the- - It drinks way too easy. - Yeah. - It really balances. - Yeah, oddly enough. - Take that size seven. It's going to hit you in the hop dick. - Man, no kidding hitting me in the hop dick. I'm not sure if I pissed myself from excitement from this or because I'm so suddenly really drunk. 11% shit. - What are they putting this stuff? - Fucking wishes is what they put in it. I'm suddenly having a hard time thinking about how I'm going to rate all of these. - Well, don't do that yet, we're- - Yeah dude, you had us to keep talking. - Just live life, love it and drink this beer. - Do the magic of editing, I bet you could give you a few extra minutes. - Yeah, probably. - Tally does that. - I just want to dab this behind my ears. - I know. - Is Citra like a form of Kamasutra? - Yes, Kamasutra. - Kamasutra. - Yeah, that's where you get hops, but you don't come for like a period of year, I don't know. - Oh, it's like tantrum. - No way, I get tantrum. Sorry. - Kamasutra is what you do like fucking crab in personation. - Yeah. - You crab walk with a penis. - Just jamming hop cones into every orifice. - To be fair, I think like missionaries included in the Kamasutra. So there's a whole scale, you know? - Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just mapping everything out. I completely ignored the Kamasutra after I threw my leg out, trying to do a fucking crane or some shit. But this is a delicious beer. - I guess we're done with that conversation. - A little rapey, so I think we'll just move right back to the beer. - Yeah, the hops keep building, but there's very little actual bitterness to this. It's just all hot flavor in aroma, and it's giant with that. - What's interesting to me is that I'm definitely getting a bitterness. I mean, it's not the finish, like you would normally expect. It's more in the middle for me. Sure, it finishes pretty clean. It starts kind of sweet, moves into that bitterness, and then sweeps back in with more of that hop flavor, and then that just carries out. Or if they had not as much hop flavor to this, the sweetness for me would be overbearing. But the way they balance it out with the hop flavor and the aroma and a little bit of that bitterness doesn't even make it an issue for me. Like it's not even an issue. - I'm almost as bummed, it's as big as it is, 'cause I would just like to drink more of it. - I know, and I'll be, you drink one of these to yourself, you'd be fucked. - I so wanna do that. - Guys in California, I know you're listening to this. You still have my mailing address, you fucking assholes. - Yeah. - Have it sent me shit. Since they moved to California, it's awful. I'm bad friends. - Yeah, I'm pretty sure though, by insulting them, they'll send you to the point. You know what, you guys, Mike kind of still likes you, so you should probably send them some beer. - Send him some beer, he just drank balls on this show for you guys, for your amusement. - For you guys, so if you send them beer, he'll like you fully again. (laughing) - You don't speak for me. (laughing) - Try that down. - Just do it. - Oh man, I just can't stop with this fucking beer. - Guys, I feel like I've eaten an entire hop field at this point. It's pretty insane with hops. - My sweat is green. - I know, I know. - Like I smile, my teeth glitter with green hop crystals. - That's so good, I need more of this fucking beer. This is so fantastic. - Do you guys want to get the rankings? - Yeah, let's do the rankings. - Do you have anything else to say about this beer? - Fucking awesome. - Right. - It could use a bit more balls. (laughing) - I think the balls are implied in this beer. (laughing) This is awesome. - You have to have balls to get this beer. - Or just ghost balls. I mean, you've got giant ghost balls that don't actually come out and meet space for you. - That's a really nice compliment. I just so appreciate you saying that. - No problem. (laughing) - Oh my God, I love the concept of meet space. - Meet space. - Meet space. - Where balls become real. (laughing) - Let's get the rankings, I'll go first. - All right, do it. My favorite beer of the evening was a really difficult thing for me to figure out because there were a lot of beers that would be number one on many of the other shows that we've had. But I just have to give to that Simtra IPA that we're still fucking drinking. Holy shit, I love Simco and Citra Hopps. And this is a perfect vehicle for those two things. What a great beer. I wish it was a little less high in alcohol because I want that flavor and I want to be able to keep drinking this fucking beer. But I would not be able to do more than one of those on my own. I like waking up without headaches. My second favorite beer of the evening was at Farmers Reserve number three from Almanac. So good, I love that fresh strawberry. It's a great summer sour. They nailed it with, hey, we're doing this for the summer. Here's what we think the summer tastes like and I agree with them. Number three, ethos IPA. I was surprised at how clean that was 'cause it doesn't smell like it's gonna be. But goddamn it, that's not a fantastic beer. I think Tallgrass knocked it out of the park with that. If this is a year round offering, I think it is, I wasn't able to tell for sure. That's one that I would buy all year. I mean, it's a great, great beer. Thank you Chase so much. Number four was size seven IPA. Another one from Chase Smiley. That was really good. That was really good. I mean, it's not nearly as good as the Simtra. But what is? This one was nice because the way the hot flavor came up front with the dryness of the beer, like I really responded to that and it kept staying easy to drink even though it is like, it's a 7% ABV beer. And I dug it. I don't really know what else to say about that because I'm getting drunk. Number five, Arrowhead Pale Ale. That was one from Evan Gundy. Marshall Brewing Company. That's a good fucking pale. You know, I don't agree with you guys. I thought that that beer was fantastic. I thought it was very, very good, very easy to drink and a bit ballzier than, you know, most other summer beers. And speaking of balls, Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout was my number six. And I put it at number six. Not because I didn't like it, it's terrible. I thought it was a really fucking good stout. I really, really dug it. I would drink it again in a heartbeat. I didn't really taste the influence of the testicles. I almost want more testicles in this beer so I could actually taste them. That sounds weird too on that beer, right? I want to be able to feel like something's happened that was special in my mouth. But really, what I instead got-- You didn't feel special? I mean, the name implies novelty. And I want a novelty's amount of balls in my mouth. So I'm not in drinking now because if I were going to drink balls, I want to drink balls. No, we'll talk later. So we will not talk later. OK. [LAUGHTER] I'll just talk at you. You don't even have to look at me. I'll pretend to listen later. OK. So this, I thought, was a very good stout. I thought it was a very good style. Lots of great flavors going on in there. I was expecting something a little bit more bawly. If that makes any sense. Good beer, expecting something different. And I'm glad it exists. Who wants to go next? I'm doing it. OK, Mike, go. Number one, Simtra. It's my two favorite hot varieties in one beer. And it's 11.25% alcohol. I disagree. I don't think that they should take down the alcohol percentage at all. It's great where it fucking is. Because you're the super day boss board of drinking. Well, yes. But I think, again, this being 11.25, it's really well hidden. All things considered. This doesn't drink like a nearly 12% alcohol beer. This drinks closer to 9% or so. But just amazing flavor hits on all the points that I like. And again, my two favorite hot varieties, awesome. My number two, Farmers Reserve Number Three. I really dug this. And I thought that they did strawberry some justice here. Oh, yeah. And it really doesn't deliver very well in a lot of other beers. They really hit it with this one. My number three is the size 7 IPA. I think that of all the beers that we had tonight, this one had the best mouth feel and overall drinking experience. I love the way that this is carried over my palate. I wish that the Simtra, if anything that they need to change, make it more like that. Just the ride with the size 7. Awesome. My number four was the ethos IPA. Hands down the best beer that I've had from tall grass. I feel like a lot of other tall grass beers are kind of amateurish, I guess. And maybe kind of home brewing. And just, it doesn't really show any finesse. Ethos did. I thought Ethos was really, really tasty. My number five, the Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout. This was a good beer. This was a good stout. Fuck yeah, it was. It had the chocolate. It had just that little bit of bitterness and balls. It was tasty. And despite it being a Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout, I wouldn't have known that there was anything exotic or unique about this beer unless somebody had actually told me. I just sort of thought it was a really damn tasty stout. Guess what, Mike? There's balls in it. And really, this picture of water that we have on the table also have balls in it. It usually does. Oh, that's why I'm getting that in all of the other beers. OK, but thanks, Mike. Appreciate it. Caroline, what do you want? I've still got number six. Oh, sorry. Drinking. Arrowhead Pale Ale. Meh. Caroline? [LAUGHTER] There we go. I appreciate the ranking of my Caroline, which I'd like to go. Sure, after that, eloquent. That's too right to you. Number one, I got to go stylistically. I mean, I love sour beers. I think we had a lot of great IPAs today, but that farmer's resort, number three, really stuck out to me. Really impressed by it. It's so tart and tasty. Love the tangerine, love the strawberry. Just super impressed by how well the strawberries came through on that beer. It's a hard ingredient to brew with. I've done a furkin personally, like a collaborative with a local brewery. We put a frickin' pallet of strawberries in that furkin, and it didn't come through the way that these strawberries came through. Yeah, you'd use a lot of fuckin' strawberries for it to even remotely register. So love that beer. I guess number two, Simtra, for sure. Of the IPAs we had today, loved it. It was big, but it was still totally balanced. I was so impressed by how well they were able to hide that high ABV within a really balanced beer with a really nice, hot profile, so love that beer. Three, I'll go eat those IPAs. Every fuckin' beer was good. Yeah, they were all great. Let me count the ways. This is like the first world problem with beer rankings. But I was super impressed, something that good came out of Kansas, am I right? Yeah, we didn't shit on Kansas enough, I didn't-- Yeah, I know. Well, no, you don't have to shit on Kansas because it's Kansas. They know. Yeah, guys, I was born in Kansas. The best thing that happened to Kansas was a fictional tornado went through it. The best thing that happened to Kansas was a literal tornado went through it. No, no, no, no. You know, that's really big. I was talkin' about it. I was talking-- oh, gosh. I was talking about somewhere over the rainbow. Too soon, yeah. You know-- But can we agree that the best part of that movie was the fact that they weren't in Kansas anymore. Yeah. Also, we've been a very boring black and white movie set in Kansas. Carry on my way to Texas. Anyways, I love the way that that eat those hung on my palate. I think that was a really awesome beer. Fourth, I'll go with size 7. Good mouth feel, super tasty. I don't know, they're all blend together. Good name. What should we say that hasn't been said? I know how drinking works. Yeah, fifth, I'll go with Arrowhead Payload. I thought it was not super Marklebut solid and tasty, especially if that was in a can. I took the shit out of that on the river or, you know, to pool or something like that. Oh, yeah. I would love a six pack of that. So super good. Didn't have the ball beer, so that could be number six or number one. Who knows? [LAUGHTER] You can fall anywhere in there. OK, so if you were to put any other experience with balls that you've had in this ranking, what would it rank? [LAUGHTER] Well, are you talking about top boll experience or just like an average boll experience? [INTERPOSING VOICES] What do you put in? Just average. Why is this a question? Well, I need to fucking figure out where to put balls in the ranking. It's number six. It had me in it. I'm not going to feel like a man unless she tells me. [LAUGHTER] After grand answers, all the answers. [LAUGHTER] He tells us about all the balls that have been his now. I know. I'll fix it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, three of mine. Grant, please. Number one, might surprise you, but I actually gave it to the Ethos IPA. Nice. I thought the entire experience, I think, was delivered exactly what I wanted on the nose, the taste of it. I love that it was the sweetness encapsulated by a bitter hop on the front end and the tail end. Just overall, this is such a great elegant beer that I could drink quite a bit. Yeah. And as you can hear from my voice, I probably have. [LAUGHTER] Number two, I gave to the Farmer's Reserve number three. I thought this beer was delicious, very fruity. I made a lot of puckered faces, so it's a slow sipping beer for me, and I was trying to drink it a little bit too fast probably, but I really enjoyed it. This is just damn good. I mean, strawberries and nectarines. Fuck yeah, give me more of that in beer. Number three, I guess that's a three. It looks like a five. Number three, I gave to the Simtra IPA. I like this, but it's very aggressive. I mean, it is. This is bold with its hops, and this is, I think, even more oddly than the Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout. I think this is more of a novelty beer in that it's so big and bold and aggressive with its hops that it's trying to be confrontational. I like it. I like it on my palate, but at the same time, I'm kind of like, whoa, guys, come on. I don't know, I didn't think it had the finesse. I think it's just bulldozing through my taste buds. I just imagine this beer like elbowing you in a bar or something. Yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, drink me. All right, fine. My beer elbow is so nice. Number four, I gave to the Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout. Man, I cannot see that one. You're Rocky Moitan. I think that-- I went to school with that guy. I'm gonna all make me an articulate. Shocking news. This one had balls. You know. Number five, I gave to size seven IPA. Honestly, I was actually talking between this and the ethos, but I like the ethos a little bit more. I thought they're both really smooth, easy to drink. I only bumped this down all the way to five from maybe one or two slot, because the other ones had the variety and one I thought about it. Yeah, it's just kind of like, okay, one of them was gonna be one and one was gonna be five. And the fact that you were like bouncing back and forth between those two goes to show you how, for you and for me, how close all these fucking beers were. Oh, yeah. So difficult. All of these are so great, except number six. (laughing) Go to the Airwood Pale Ale, which I thought was a little bit too bitter on the end. The taste didn't live up to the nose and I thought it was a little bit aspirin-y. I really liked that beer, so fucking great. Yeah, I hear that you did. Yeah, I know. That's okay to be wrong. Thank you so much for, you know, don't-- I can't. I'm drunk right now. (laughing) This was delicious. Yeah, this was a really good show. I really enjoyed all of the beers. Me too. Thanks for inviting me to drink your alcohol. Yeah, thanks for coming. Holy crap, Karen. This is fun. Well, I've been talking to you for a long time about getting on the show at some point and I'm glad you were free this weekend. Good beers, too. It would have been awkward if it was shitty. I know, I'm so glad you were not free for like our toberfest show, epic brewing company. (laughing) So we were all sick the next day, so it's okay. So Caroline from bitchbeard.org, right? Oorg, very important nonprofit. What are you working on? A book turns out people read things on the internet and think this could be a book. I would like to hold this. I would like to put this on the internet. I would like to put this on the internet. I would like to put this on the internet. I would like to put this on the internet. I would like to put this on the internet. I would like to put this on the internet. (laughing) I would like to hold this, tangibly. You got a book deal. Yeah, so we got a book deal. Long story short, we wrote a little, we're part of the Austin Food Bloggers Alliance. A group of food bloggers here. There's also some beverage bloggers involved like us and we did a little vignette for a cookbook that they published through history press, this historical press. And they liked our vignette. They've been looking for someone to write a book about Austin beer for a while. They have a whole series called American Palettes, All Food and Beverage Books. That's awesome. Challenge accepted, we're in a very short timeline kind of co-authoring this book, all about the history of Austin craft beer. It goes back to like the 1850s through today. And that's one of the really cool things is to write a history book about Austin. I mean, fuck, our beer history is so new. I mean, there have been 15 breweries to open since like 2010 or 2011. It's really, it's been absolutely crazy. We're actually living through the history of Austin beer right now, which is we are the history. You know, yeah. So how many chapters did you dedicate to the beer? It's like four or five. (laughing) Just stuff, glossy photos spread up everyone's balls. (laughing) That one wasn't flattering for me. It was cold that day. Mine were glistening. I know. What was up with that? I don't know, it's a thing. Yeah, Mike, it showed away though. He shaves his balls and he dies them, different colors, depending on the season. In mood. That's freaking the house. (laughing) What are we doing? There's no more good to go with those. Tim Trump, Tim Trump is your fault. Cue the music. Yeah, no, I'm really glad you came here. Well, thank you so much for joining us. It's been a while since I hung out with my little brother. (laughing) (laughing) Mike, thanks for coming. I needed to get some hair of the dog in me some time. I know, this, I actually feel normal now. Yeah, the whole is just drunk. Think about it. Things are in the space. This is good. (laughing) Yeah, I know you're speaking way more clearly. Holy shit. You're great. Hey, Grant, how you doing? I'm a big boy. (laughing) Oh my gosh. This is like a mush mouth from fat Albert. (laughing) Hey, from a bad baby. Why am I sweating so much? What's happening to pooping the baby? Scuffin' up a little bit. (laughing) Fuck yeah. Scab that, girl. Yeah. That guy's awesome. Scab that, brothers. (singing) I love them when Transformers is jazz. (laughing) We have nothing. I don't know how to do that. I'm not doing that. I guess we're gonna close it out. Thank you guys for listening. You guys are amazing. Thank you. We're getting so many fucking beers from our listeners. And the donations are more than welcome to keep coming so we can go to JBF. Yes, and I'd love to meet you guys out at JBF. We're gonna figure out some kind of meet up while we're out there. But really? Let's just shower us in money and beer. Honestly, yeah. If it's between you guys getting to go to JBF or like sponsoring us so that we can go, please give us some money. Yeah, yeah. We're probably more deserving than you. Oh, absolutely. I mean, because we'll pass the experience on to other people who can't go. Look, I don't know what it's like to be a white person. I do. (laughing) It's pretty awesome. It's not bad. All right, most of the time, you know, like, how might people get trampled by it? Imagine everything going your way, like, all the time. I know. And life being amazing? It's like fucking Xanadu. Yeah. But we're not the skates. The thing about white privilege was you weren't supposed to notice this is your way. Like, you just thought things worked out. Honestly, it's fair. You actually do get skates as well. (laughing) We get those. They just give them this. (laughing) I don't even know how to skate, but I have like so many pairs. (laughing) The government is the only sending me sweets. (laughing) Skates. You've got Xanadu. Goodnight, everybody. Bottles up. Bottles up. Skates. (laughing) I have so many skates. (laughing) I just throw them away. 'Cause they just give them to me so much. You need to start a skate thing, bro. (laughing) I don't have anything. I'm drunk and I'm Mexican and I have no skates. No skates. My table has become Skateburn. (laughing) (upbeat music) ♪ So we can hardly get enough, baby ♪ ♪ Turn it up ♪ ♪ We didn't dare to move on ♪ ♪ So just turn it up ♪ ♪ I need to make it more ♪ More information on the Beerists' podcast, including show notes and pictures, visit the Beerists.com. Email us your feedback, comments, questions, and suggestions at info@thebeerists.com. Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/thebeerists and follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/thebeerists. Intro music was provided by Ian Butcher and his band Deflated Balon. Follow him on twitter at twitter.com/ein_butcher93. I'm John Rubio. Thanks again for listening. 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