- Episode 58 of the Bearest Podcast recorded on May 5th, 2013, epic brewing company. - I don't know what the fuck is happening over at Fantome. - I don't either. - I'm pretty sure they're having actual ghost problems, not just on their labels, but there's some fucked up shit happening over at Fantome. - Yeah, exoplasm in their beer. - We had another tasting yesterday. - It was awful. - Well, the tasting happened, it was awful. We had just shitty beer after shitty beer, and then- - And then I arrived and everybody was redeemed. - Well, we got through all the crappy stuff before you got there for you. - Anastasia did bring a bunch of really good beer though. - She really fucking did. But one of the beers that we had was a bottle of Fantome Sason. Now, if you guys remember us talking about this, back when Anastasia was having her birthday tasting, somebody cracked open a bottle of that. I think it was mine, and it was jelly. Like the whole thing was gelatinized consistency of mucus, the entire bottle. - Yeah, it was like a lugee. - Yeah, and I had never seen anything like that before in the 20 years or so that I've been into beer, and I was 15 or whatever, I'm not counting, I can't count, I can't read. But this fucking thing, the second beer I've ever seen like that happened yesterday, and this wasn't the same type. - It was the same. - It was often told. - Both Fantome Sason. - Sason. - Yeah, okay. - This was a really bad run of it. - Oh, fuck yeah. - Did you buy those beers together? - Yes. - I think we did, yeah. That was out of Steins in New Orleans. - Yes. I don't know. I don't know what the hell happened with these bottles, but something really fucking horrible happened. Seriously, it was awful. And we made some videos of it and posted up on YouTube and posted it to the Facebook page and people were like, "What the fuck is that?" I was like, "Yeah, that's the beer." - And it was so weird. It was still carbonated, and it was just this nasty, bluegie. - So a lot of the speculation is that it's a pedococcus sort of infection thing that's going on there where it forms these protein chains. - Yeah, polysaccharides or something. It's just weird. So, of course, our buddy Bill Brink decided to take the matter in his own hands. - Well, yeah. As any sane person would do. - Yeah. And he poured it into his radiator. - Of his 1940s. - His 1930s. - His 1930s. - Yeah. - 1930s, okay. - Yeah. Good smart times. I don't know if it's still running, I'm sure it might be. I don't know. - I took a ride in it. It scared me and I won't do that again. - That was great. The cops came out because of that fucking car yesterday. - Yeah, the car. - Oh, what is it? - You can make it backfire. - Is that why the cops came? - Yes. - The car backfired like a bunch of times. - He kept doing it on purpose. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I know. And then before you know, there's three cop cars that pull up to the fucking bar looking confused for fucking shots fired, but aside from the bad beers earlier in the day, we had a really good time. It was a fucking badass tasting. I forgot to introduce us. I'm John Rubio and with me today, Anastasia, I don't think you're ready for this jelly Kelly. - That just sounds gross. How are you babe? - I don't know. - Okay. - Grant Davis. - Grant Davis, yes. - Grant Davis here. - The lounge geeks of that. - Yeah, I've been drinking for fucking like five days straight. I'm not good right now. And we also have Mike completely sober Lambert. That's amazing. - I know. - Also the first time in like five days, I think, right? - Yeah, I think so. - I think it was the first time since he was like three. - It's been like a 16 year bender. - He's like, what the hell are we doing? What is this podcast? - You guys are horribly unattractive. - Oh man, I wouldn't fuck any of you. - One of the other things that we did this last week, one of the reasons we started out so early in the week drinking was because we had a listener come into town and we took them out for beers. Jordan Miller came in. - Yes. - Fuck you, Jordan Miller. - What do you mean? - It was the start of many drunk days. - That's a good point. - Yeah. Fuck you, Jordan Miller. Now we took them out to the draft house, had a bunch of beer and yeah, that started out our little stretch of a bender and he brought us a bunch of beers from Epic Brewing Company out of Utah. - Awesome. - I believe was visiting from Virginia or Washington DC but yeah, we had a really good time with him and he brought all these beers for us and we're going to drink them all on the show. - So basically what you're saying is if anyone wants to come hang out with us, they should. They should just call us up and be sure to also bring enough beers that we can review on the show. - We'll drop everything to drink. - Yeah, we'll have-- - But what if we're already holding beers on our hands? - We will not-- - I don't want to clean up again. - I mean you do. - That's why we have two hands. - Exactly. - Have you seen me drink? - Yes. - I've never heard. Before we get to our beers though, I want to read a couple of emails. The first one says, "Good morrow to the isths of beer." Yes, another drunk email? Why not? Listening to the goo show and a multitude of smells like horse blanket and barnyard feces notes, what was your turnaround time to start appreciating these more? Let's say less than palatable aromas. I've got an appreciation for funky cheeses but can't seem to think that could possibly be enjoyable in a smell for beer. Maybe it's time for an intro to funky beers episode like you guys did for the sours. For the second course, chew on this. When at a bar, what's your preferred genres and artists to hear on the jukebox? My verdict, if a bar has no Tom Waits, James Brown, or Rolling Stones, it's not a real bar. Cheers, Harrison. Check and change, gentlemen. You know, he wrote again a bunch of nicknames for us in the email that we just didn't read because I don't want to make that a thing. - Yeah, I appreciate it. - To answer your second question first, when we were at the draft house, we did listen to some Tom Waits on the jukebox. - Yes, I love Tom Waits, my favorite. - I generally have a rule that if there is no Kiss by a Rose by seal, I don't like the bar. - Kiss from a Rose. - Kiss from a Rose. - I'm kind of partial to Queens of the Stone Age when I'm drinking or driving or both. - Yeah, I think Tom Waits is a good one. I really like that guy a lot. And as far as an intro to Funky Beers show, I think that would be kind of cool. - Yeah. - Start talking about how to appreciate them if somebody's never had them before. - Suck it up and drink. Don't be a pussy. - There is that too. - I do think that getting a little bit more familiar with eating stinky cheeses was a good intro for me. I went to a cheese tasting. I was always like, "Eh, I like those stinky cheeses." But you know, you kind of want to impress all the fancier people around you so you man up and eat the cheeses. And I was like, "Fuck, these are actually really good once you get past the smell." And then you start associating that taste with that smell. And it all links together and you kind of want it. - Definitely a good way to start having them all side by side or having a few side by side. Just really understanding what exactly is happening because there are a lot of flavors and aromas out there that will be off-putting to you if you're not expecting them. - Yeah. - But once you start to acclimate to those things, you know what to expect and yeah, you start to enjoy them. So thanks. We appreciate the email Harrison. Our next email says, "Dear Beer Overlord Bastards." - Wow. - This can't be that fake Canadian kid. - Oh, hey, what do you know? - You're second. - I know. I was catching up on missed episodes while converting my shitty burn pile into a nice large fire pit, a real fucking nice one with large stones circling around it. Something real classy. If I could ever move all these fucking dirt and ash and bedsprings, when the fuck did I burn a mattress? In any case. - Where the hell is this going? - I don't know. - In any case, when I started listening to the one-year anniversary episode, I was laughing so hard, I fell backwards and almost landed on a fucking pickaxe. Are you fucks trying to kill me? - Yes. - It was a great episode nonetheless, as is all of them. I'm sorry I didn't get to vote what is happening. I would have put in for bla bla bla bla, and what the fuck, guys, I bring up hard liquor in an email or two and anesthesia bites my head off, Rubio breaks out some tasty-sounding bourbon. He's a fucking hero. It's a pilot episode for the Alcoholists anyway. I guess he was talking about the Mexican beer show. With love and tears of joy in my eyes and an undying thirst for great beer in my mouth signed fake Canada. - Fuck you, fake Canada. - You know, fake Canada. I like you. I got nothing else to say to you. The next email says, "Hey guys, I was thinking and I know that most of you aren't home brewers and you also have day jobs while also maintaining this awesome podcast, but it would be awesome if each of you created a home brew and reviewed them on the show, like reviewed each other's home brews on the show, or possibly all brew the same batch with slight variations and ingredients." I think this may be a great learning experience for both the listeners and you, kind regards Brendan Ledbaiter. - I'm all about drinking some shitty beer. I've been known to drink a few shitty beers too. I mean, we get a lot of people bringing us their home brews, and yeah, sometimes they're not so good. Sometimes they're fantastic, but I have a feeling that all of us would be terrible at it with the exception of Grant because he's actually had some experience. - I've brewed home brew. - I know. - That's pretty good. - Some of them. - Some of them really bad. - I've only had like two of them, and they were both good. - I'm waiting for my home brew kit from you listeners. - We're trying to be bought. - Donations to go to the Great American Beer Festival and you're-- - Whatever, it's my half birthday. - Okay. iTunes shoutouts. Der Wood 294 says on the iTunes on his iTunes review, "Just Fun Beer Love is all you can say about it." It was really cool. Thank you so much. Der Wood 294. If you guys want to do the same for us, leave us a little review on iTunes. It really helps us out with the show. Get on iTunes, look, the Beerists up, we're in the food category under Arts, or you could just do a search. - If you guys don't have an account, take your parents credit card, make an account on iTunes, and go ahead and give us a review. - Yeah, that's a good point. Most people already have accounts, but whatever. Find the Beerists on iTunes, give us a five-star rating and write a little review, and if you write that review, I can see your name and thank you on the show. We really appreciate it, and it gets more people listening to the show. We got a donation. - Somebody gave us money? - Yes. Brian Davenport sent us some money to help get us to the Great American Beer Festival, which is an ongoing thing. We're trying to get to the Great American Beer Festival, and we need donations in order for that to happen. - Thank you, Brian. Thanks, Brian. - Yes. Thank you so much, Brian. - And you, dear listeners, who are listening right now, even if you're listening in the car, pull over to the side of the road and give us a donation. - Yeah, you can do that by getting on the beerists.com, and on the left-hand side, there's a little PayPal donate link, kick us some money, $5,000, $10,000, $15,000, whatever. - Hopefully, $1,000. - Yeah, $1,000, please. One other thing. No, that's it. One other thing. Let's drink. - Man. - Let's get into our beers, like for real. - Yeah, so thank you, Jordan Miller, for these epic beers. - Yes, epic brewing company is out of Utah. Is it Salt Lake City, Utah? - Yes, not to be confused with epic brewing out of New Zealand. - Correct. This one was established in 2008 by David Cole and Peter Erickson, and their brewmaster's Kevin Crompton. I guess David Cole and Peter Erickson started this aqua culture company back in Utah in 1992. - Making sea monkeys. - Yeah, making crustaceans, I don't know what they're making. In 2008, Utah had a change of laws that allowed people to make craft beer a little bit more easily or at all. I'm not really sure. - Yeah, that's interesting. Because last time I was in Utah was around like, "Oh, four." You can't buy any alcohol higher than like 3.2 percent, I think. They have to make special beer. The big chains will make special beer just for Utah, and I guess that's broken since of the way. - That's great. I'm so bad about that. Because of that, these guys decided, "Hey, let's fucking make some beer, man." I'm not sure if that's exactly how that conversation went, but they started out pretty small. They had six fermentation tanks, and by 2010, they had nine tanks. I'm not sure where they're at right now, but I know that they are expanding to Denver, Colorado, into a 19,000 square foot brew house, 20 barrel brew house. They're going to mainly focus on all their exponential series beers there, and their barrel aging program. That should be really cool. It should be ready about now, I guess, it's close to the time that they're going to move into that space and expanding into Colorado. - 19,000? It's pretty huge. - Yeah, that's a big place, it seems, but I'm really fucking excited for them. I've had a few of their beers. I haven't had any other ones tonight, though. I think I've had the brainless on some type of, I guess, fruit variety of some kind. I can't remember if it was the cherries or the peaches. - Cool. Well, let's get into our first beer. It's Hoppulint IPA, and this is part of their elevated series. This is released number 59, this bottle is, brewed on December 28th, 2012, and packaged on January 21st, 2013, so it's a little bit, I guess, it's all right, right, just a few months old. It's 8.6% ABV, and it's available in bottles and on draft. All of these things list all of their ingredients, which is really cool. Maulted with premium Bryce 2-row, ultra premium Maris Otter, Waram and Munich Mault-type 1, and Bryce Caramel Mault-20-L, and hopped with Columbus, Chinook, and Centennial, two editions of Simco and the Boil, Centennial and the Hopback, and Dry Hopped with Chinook and Centennial. - And this is a cloudy orange beer, like it looks almost like orange juice. - Very hot. - That's very citrusy. - There's a sweetness to the smell too. - Yeah. - Tangerine. - It smells kind of like a V8 tropical juice bowl. - Oh, yeah, right. I know exactly what you mean, like with the pineapple juice and the tangerine, there's some orange juice. - Yeah, a little bit of tea. - Yeah, exactly. - Like guava and plantain. - Funny that you mentioned plantain, I can kind of smell a little bit of that here. But yeah, it does smell a little sweet, it's got a little bit of head up on the top, not too much. - A very light scent of menthol. - Okay, yeah, totally. And actually that note comes through in the flavor too. There's something kind of minty or maybe not basil, but there's some type of herbaceousness that's there. - Yeah, sure is. - It's a pretty sweet IPA, I just took a sip. And yeah, there's a lot of sugars there, but the hops are pretty nice, they're citrusy. Just kind of what we're explaining in the nose is what we're getting in the taste or what I'm getting in the taste. - I would have liked to have tried this a little bit closer to the bottling. - Me too. - And the problem about that is that they don't really bottle date. They list a number, yeah, like a batch number. So you can't really tell at the store unless you fucking look it up on your phone when that release number was bottled. - Do they have it on their website, like Bells does, or like, is it okay? - So when you go to click on their beers, like you go to click on Hopulant, instead of talking about the beer, it has all the releases listed. - Okay. - And then you click on the particular release that you have because, you know, they change it. - It says a pretty strong hop flavor. - Yeah, it does. - It does. - Very bitter. - Bitter in resony, but also lots of bright citruses and pineapple and a bit of that herbaceous. This is still sticking around. I mean, yeah, I'd get something minty and basil-y maybe. - It's a little thicker mouth feel. - Yeah, it's a little viscous. - Yeah. - It's kind of like drinking juice. - Snow phantome, of course. - Right. - Danny Pinyone, God damn you! - Yeah, I mean, this is a pretty nice beer, I don't see a lot wrong with it. Personally, I don't like my IPAs this sweet usually. I think like a drier IPA. - I agree. - But it's tasty. I mean, this is really nice. I couldn't finish a bottle of this on my own. By the way, all these are 22 ounce bottles that we're pouring these out of. - Yeah, I just get the feeling that the hop presence would have been a little bit brighter just at the front end. I'm definitely still tasting that bittering hop finish. - There's quite a lot toward the end, but you know what? It's not overbearing. - No. - I've had other beers that, or other IPAs that approach this amount of malt and hop and body that do just go over that fucking line and get abrasive and sickly and cloying. - Is it bollocks? - Oh yeah, bollocks. - Yeah, that was... - From brash. - Brash. - That was too much. There's also something hoppy this way comes from pipeworks that was also way over for me. - Yeah. This really lingers on the tongue. - I know. I kind of wish that we would have done this later. - Yeah, the more we're trudging through this, I feel like I have to keep scraping my tongue with my teeth. - Yeah, there's just a film off. - There's no good way to figure out what order to put the beers in when you haven't had them yet. - Yeah, sure. And I like the one that we're ending on for this first half anyway. I'm excited about it. - Me too. - Why don't we just move on to our next one? I think I don't want to keep drinking this because I'm afraid it'll destroy my palate. - It's gonna be. - Yeah. But it's still pretty good. I mean, I still enjoy the beer. - It is. - It's just very aggressive with the tops. - Yeah. - And it's very dry on the back end. - I think I want to put some orange juice in it. - You do. - I don't know. I think that might push the sweetness overboard for me. - Yeah, I definitely get that minty element you're talking about now. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, we're all like, I'm just chewing on the hop residue that's left in our mouth. - Yeah, that's pretty simple, quiet review there. That one. - That's fine. - And Mike is pouring the next beer, which is Imperial IPA, and this one's part of their exponential series. Number 18, which was brewed on March 27th, 2012, and packaged April 25th, 2012. - Oh no. - So this is a year old IPA. Again, Jordan wouldn't have known, like I said, batch number on the bottle, but not date, unfortunately. I really wish they would just put the fucking date on there. - Every brewery should. - Yeah. - They really should. But this beer is 8.8% ABV available in bottles and on draft. It's malted with premium Bryce American 2-row malt and Bryce carapills, hopped with Columbus Simcoe centennial in the boil, finished with Columbus for aroma and centennial in the hop back. And it's dry hopped with Amarillo and Columbus. So, oh, Jesus, that wasn't knocked everything over forever. - Slightly lighter. - Yeah, it's a shade lighter than the other one. This is more of a yellow, yellow orange. That's a little more orange than lemonade. - Mine's got some floaties. Do you guys have that? - Yup. - A couple. - Particles at the bottom. The head looks nicer in this one, too. - Still hazy. - Again, it smells like some sort of juice. - I can smell that. - Oh, yeah. - It just smells like faded hops to me. - Yeah, but I mean, it's still nice, but it's definitely past its prime. - I do still get some citrus there, and I do get a little bit of grass, orange pealy, little tangerine, something like that. But yeah, mainly citrus is a little bit of grapefruit. - Yeah. - You know, I just tasted this. This really isn't that bad for being a year old. - I just tasted it too, and I think this is pretty nice. - Yeah, I also just say to this, I'm agreeing with you guys. - Anastasia disagrees with your face. - Oh, fuck. It's just so dusty and... - Agreed. - It's still very bitter. - Sure. It's not as bitter as the other one that we just had. Not as bitter as an opulent. This is a bit... - To me, it's the same level of bitterness. It just approaches things a little bit of a different way on the tongue. I'd totally get what you're saying. I mean, this is old IPA, and it definitely tastes dusty. However, it does taste better than I expected it to based off of the smell. - Right. - At least for me, has a very old hop smell, but the hop presence is actually still quite a bit larger in the flavor than I anticipated it for it being over a year old at this point. - Yeah, and the hops are very similar to biting through an orange or a grapefruit, or both of those things peel and all. You get that bitterness of the peel, and then you get the pith and the juicy citrus there. And again, yeah, it is kind of muted compared to what I think it would have been added if it was fresh. - I would have loved to have tasted both of these beers fresh. - Same here. - I think that that would have given it a little bit more of a fair shot. Just with the age on them already, they're way past the prime of what I would normally want in an IPA, but that said, I'm really impressed with how well this Imperial IPA has held up for this past year. - Same here. - It's very bitter. It reminds me of chewing on pine needles. - Yeah, there's a bit of that too, huh? - Yeah. - But for some reason, this one isn't coming off as aggressive as the other one did for me. - No. - First drain pour. - Oh, I have a station poured in. - I can't. I can't for me. It's just too aggressive and bitter. There's none of that citrus for me. That was in the hoppulant. - Mm-hmm. - It's also kind of alcoholic, even though it's only 8.8%. - The bitterness is coming off a little aspirin-y. - Yes. - Yeah, if you just took and scraped a bunch of grapefruit, pith, and pine needles, and maybe a little bit of aspirin and just mixed it all together, just dominating my palate. - Yeah. - I'm next on the drain pour. It was good. I'm glad I got to try it, but yeah, this is not where I wanted it. - I'm going to keep drinking mine. - I don't really like love it, but I don't dislike this. - No, I don't think it's terrible. I feel like I drink all those Mexican imports. I can drink this. - Yeah, that's a very good point, dude. - There was no dump bucket for that episode, so. - That's true. That was the best decision ever. - Yeah, we had no out. - We looked like hell after that. That was not the best decision ever. - I think we all looked like hell. - No, Anastasia specifically, her face was swollen. - She looked seasick. - And she was hunched over and drooling a little bit and going, "I feel terrible." - What has happened? - Her eyes were crossed. - I can't ever tell her. - And up next is a beer that I don't care how old it is, really. - Yes, the next beer that we're about to drink is brainless on peaches. This is another part of their exponential series, and this is released number 20, brewed May 31st, 2012, packaged on October 4th, 2012. 11.7% ABV, and it's available in bottles, and I think this is also on draft. I think last time I went to Nashville, I saw it on tap, but a bar there. And it's molted with wireman German Pilsner malt, mutton's marisader pale, and breas carapils, and it's hopped with permeant, tetanang insaz, and they've also added flaked oats, candy, sugar, and 100% pure peach puree, no preservatives, secondary fermentation, and aged in chardonnay casks with champagne yeast. So according to the write-up, it says, "We took our double gold metal-winning brainless Belgian and added organic peach puree and aged it in French chardonnay casks." Drink from a peanut glass. Like, really, guys, and serve on the warm side of cold. What does it develops nicely as it warms up? Yeah, OK. The mountains turn blue, so you know it's cold. Yes. Drink this in your chateau, perhaps after a day riding your stallion. It's so wish I had a chateau. Wow, this barely has any head at all. Mike's got the most. Really, minimal head retention. Pretty clear. Yeah, clear golden color. Hey, straw hay. Ooh, I smell peaches. Tons of peaches. Lots of peaches. I get a little bit of a bready note as well. Yeah, a little alcoholic in the nose, too. Bread and peaches a little bit of cobbler. Yes, yeah, peach cobbler. It's like toast or something along those lines and honey. A tiny hint of mint. Yeah, it smells good. The alcohol's a little sharp. Yeah, but otherwise, it's like fucking peach cobbler. Little-- I want to say funky, but I have yeast tea, maybe, so I'm-- Sure. Has anybody tasted this yet? No. There's a tartness that's there, or like a brightness. Yeah. And I'm kind of Christmas to it, especially considering that it's like, what, 11.2% alcohol? Oh, that's interesting. The body is huge. I mean, this is a full-bodied beer. That's interesting. I wasn't expecting it to be this dry and it's champagne yeast. So sure. But yeah, the first thing I'm getting is a lot of peaches, obviously. But there is a grapey quality to it. And there's a bit of booze. Yeah, and also, I'm getting a little bit of-- I know that it says that there wasn't any preservatives. I don't know if there was any sweeteners added to it. But there is definitely an aspartamey kind of note to it. Yeah. There was candy sugar. Yeah, but that doesn't come off like aspartame. But yeah, definitely a little bit of sweet and low hitting your tongue, right? It tastes so light for being 11.7. But it also reminds me of some peach schnapps at the end. This taste, yeah, the alcohol just-- It's funny that you mention it because the booze really comes through the nose. Especially on the exhale. Yeah, I don't get much in the actual flavor, but the body is definitely implying to me that it's fairly high in alcohol. Yeah. I dig this. This is tasty. I think this is pretty cool. I wish it was just a little bit more acidic. Yeah, I could see that. Because yeah, there's a more bite to the peach. Yeah, this is like tartness there. But I kind of want it to run with that just a little bit. But this is nice. I'm enjoying this. I have a feeling that I'd probably drink this really quickly if it was by myself. And end up really drunk. Completely regretting your life. Snorkered. I like the word snorkered. I do too. So yeah, there's something very wine-like or champagne-like about this. I kind of get like grape skin tannins. Yeah. It definitely has a white wine burn to it. Mm, yeah, it sure does. So like a little bit of that grapeiness, but also that back of the mouth or back of the throat alcohol burn. I'm totally feeling it back there. Yeah, right, before it goes down. It's like, I'm here! Well, fill in the burn of this alcohol. Oh, yeah, I feel like we really missed out by not having our Pinot glasses with us. I know, it kind of makes sense now that I'm tasting it to have this in the fucking Pinot glass. Yeah. We've got nice tulip glasses that'll work as substitutes. Yeah, I don't have any Pinot glasses that say "the berests" on it. Right. The Pinot is-- Oh, man, I want to make that a porno. That was just the same thing. I'm not making this porno with you, Mike. [LAUGHTER] Can I be the sound guy? I know that we're having the brainless cherries after the break or brainless on cherries. Yes, Mike, we'll just compare these side by side a bit. I'm going to leave a little bit in this glass because I wanted to warm up. I wanted to warm up. Let's just keep going! No, no, I want you to warm up. I kind of would like it a little bit warm on this side of cold. Whatever, whatever epic is told you. The warm side of cold? Yes. Burping up this beer, I get a little more peach flavor than when drinking it. I think it is time for a break. Now that you mentioned it, thanks. Namaste. Yeah. We don't know how to go burp each other. Yeah, that would be awesome. That's what we call it. No more burping. Mike and I did last night. What? Wait. Oh, yeah? Why kiss Ruby out? [LAUGHTER] That did happen on day four of the bender. [LAUGHTER] But we're not talking about that. Break, you guys touched up. Shut up, break time! [MUSIC PLAYING] [SCREAMS] [MUSIC PLAYING] Set a shake of beer. Move some fast on me. Change of beer. Move some fast to say. Move some fast. Move some fast. [MUSIC PLAYING] I am so tired. I want to go home. Guys, no. Come on. I'm trying. Let's get pumped. Let's do this. I just hit a dip. I'm so huge wall. On the break, just like, oh, god, just deflated. Cocaine is awesome, guys. You guys should totally try cocaine. I think it's one of the best drugs out there. You guys should totally try it. Let's do some cocaine right now. Let's do some cocaine. So, oh, my heart. Grant will not be joining us on the second half. Yeah, he's going to be deported. What does that even mean? Let's move on to our next beer. I'm getting deported. Man, I am just-- So you've had done too much cocaine out of the country. I feel so tired. Look at Brainless on Cherries as our next beer, part of the exponential series. Release number 15 is where this bottle came from. Brought on May 15, 2012, packaged October 11, 2012. And it's 11.1% ABV. And it's a bottled release, possibly on draft. Who knows? Maulted with Wireman German Pilsner malt, Mutton's Maris Otter pale malt, and Breeze Carapils malt. Hopped with pre-meant, Tettinang and Saaz. And flaked oats were added. Candy sugar, 100% pure cherry puree, no preservatives. Again, second fermentation and aged in red wine barrels with champagne yeast. And man, this is a beautiful red color. Yeah, ruby amber. Again, not very much of a head. It's like a nice, blush wine. Yeah, like a rosé. Like a rosé, yeah. Smells very reminiscent of the last one that we just had, at least in terms of the base beer. Sure. The cherries are really light on there, aren't they? I get more of a sugary, almost woody sugary type flavor. I have a feeling that this is probably going to taste kind of aspartame-y, just based off the smell. So I do get a little bit of cherry in the nose, but it smells a lot more like fresh cherries that you bought at the grocery store at the produce aisle. Yeah, it's more like maraschino. I was going to say more maraschino or something closer to like a not sour cherry. OK. More of a sweet cherry. I got some grain. Yeah, there's a little malty. I'm going to give it a taste. Once again, I feel that these guys had such a great opportunity and missed the mark on being able to pump up the fruit flavor with tartness. Yeah, again, this is a very whiny sort of beer. It tastes a lot like a rosé, right? Totally. There is a little bit of cherry in there, but mainly I'm getting these wine-like qualities, and a little bit of pilsmalt, some alcohol. Yeah, a bit of alcohol. I'd say it's more noticeable in the flavor on this one than it was in the previous one. Yeah. This one was aged in cabernet and sera or for secondary fermentation. OK. Sort of a peppery, spicy note. Sure. And you know what this kind of reminds me of is-- I'm not really sure what makes a drink I'm thinking of, but at the very bottom of the glass, if there's still like a cherry at the bottom, and you pop that maraschino cherry in your mouth, and it still has a lot of those liquors in the-- Kind of like an old-fashioned. Something like that. But once you're done with the old-fashioned, you're just going to eat the cherry at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it still has a lot of that liquor in it. That's kind of what this tastes like. Alcoholic Shirley Temple. Some Madonna. Sure. Yeah, I don't think it'd necessarily be an old-fashioned, actually. But I know what you're talking about. It's like lickery maraschino. Yeah, this says it's a cherry puree. This tastes kind of artificial cherry to me. A little bit more than it smelled. Going back to the brainless on peaches, I definitely like the brainless on peaches better. Yeah. I just give that one a taste also. That one comes across much more tart in comparison. Yeah, definitely. And I think it needs that to kind of help cut this. The brainless on cherries, it's very wine-like, but in all of the ways that I don't really like it, I guess, it's not coming across very interesting or very complex, especially compared to the work that went into it. It's kind of flat to me. It really doesn't have much going on. It comes off a little watered down, which is weird because there's a lot of alcohol there. And there are some flavors there, but it's pretty aqueous still. I don't know how to properly convey that. I think it grained, you nailed it earlier. I think they had an opportunity that they missed here to really showcase the fruit notes. This one didn't really come across very well. It kind of reminds me almost more of a wine cooler type flavor, especially with the harsh alcohol aftertaste that I'm getting. I still can appreciate their certain refined qualities. I do get notes of oak barrel, I guess, whatever. But overall, it seems like they might have taken sweet cherries like maraschino and eh. That's kind of disappointing because this could be great if it had that tartness to it too. I feel like the wine barrel fermentation isn't doing it any favors. Right, yeah. It feels like that wine barrel is maybe stripping out some of the fullness of the flavor that it should have in there. Mm hmm. 'Cause it has flaked oats in it too. And while the body isn't, it's like not a low body mouth feel or whatever, but it's not as full as I imagined something with oats would be. That makes a lot of sense. It's not a bad beer. I was just expecting more from this. So I think the brainless on peaches did a better job of showcasing the fruit notes. Yeah. I'm really enjoying that last little bit that I saved. I think it really got a little bit better as it warmed up. I think so too. As that peach is one warmed up, it's more of a complex beer than it was when it was still cool. Yeah, it's on the warm side of warm for me right now. I'd be great to the punch and mix the two together. I'm gonna follow suit. I just downed the peaches, man. That brainless on peaches is really good. And the cherries, again, like I said, I don't think this is a bad beer at all. I'm actually quite enjoying it. But yeah, they could use more cherry there. And there isn't very much flavor other than the wine, a little bit of Pills Mall, some wood and the cherry. Yeah. I really wish that there was something sharper just to help cut it. I think that the alcohol percentage and sort of the flatness and overwhelming sweetness really, that's where it's not really doing very well with me. Sure. It's just becoming more of taxing, I guess, to drink it. I don't know if it's been five days worth of drinking that's doing it. No, 'cause I haven't been. Yeah, and I've seen you bounce back from more than that when you get a good beer in your glass. Yeah, you're a champion. Champion of drugs. I am, aren't I? You are. This one just sort of fell short. Yeah, I had high expectations, I think, for this one. Our dump bucket is pretty tall today. It kinda is. I've been putting water in it, though. But, you know, that said, I did enjoy that first IPA we had. I did, it was, for me, like I said, it was just a little bit too sugary for me, but I thought it was still a very well-made beer. For those listening that like a multi-very aggressive bitter hop IPA, that'll be right up your alley. Sure, yeah. Anyway, let's move on to our final beer. You know, I really hope that this is as good as the other Imperial Stout that they have. The big bad Baptist. Oh, which is fantastic. Yeah, that's an amazing beer. So, here's hoping that their Imperial Stout fares us better. And this Imperial Stout is part of their exponential series, as well. And this is release number 10, brewed on November 9th, 2012, packaged November 20th, 2012. This is 11.1% ABV and available in bottles. And it's got some Mutton's Maris Otter Maltenside, Brace 2 Row Brewer Malt, Crystal Mutton's, Wireman Light Munich Malt T1, 2 Row Chocolate Malt, 2 Row Black Malt, and roasted barley. And it's topped with Nugget, Chinook, and Cascade. And that's pouring thick. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This one's giving me hope. Yeah. This is how it looks here. I'm gonna remain disappointed. Love expectations. That's fine. But yeah, this head is just this gorgeous coffee-colored head. Oh, yeah. Mocha. And it's latte foam textured as well. Yeah, really black. Oh, yeah. Just barely any highlights at all. Just rather be highlights, yeah. Smells like an Imperial Stout. You get the chocolate, you get a little bit of roast. It's a little green and grassy. Get some cocoa powder action. Touch of pine. Yeah, I was gonna say the hops actually come through pretty significantly on the nose. Yeah, you know what? It kind of smells a little to me like a Yeti. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But not quite as aggressively roasty as a Yeti. Right, and the booze is definitely poking out of there as well. That smells really nice. Gosh, taste it. Oh, that's good. That's pretty smooth. I mean, that's nice. Oh, fuck yeah. That is just slick and mouth-coding. Oh, guys, this is what we needed. (all laughing) I know. I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh. I mean, seriously, we've had four beers there. We're like, oh, this beer. Finally. Oh, yeah. Big chocolate-y coffee-like flavors. A little bit of bitterness, like bitter cocoa and bitter coffee. Bitter cocoa is bitter chocolate. Also, that kind of works with the bitteriness of the hops as well. Yeah, absolutely, and there's a woodiness to it. I don't know how to explain it, like a young green wood or something. This is like a 70, 80% cacao chocolate, basically is the way that it's coming across to me, just that the level of bitterness, but then there's still just that hint of sweetness to kind of help cut it a little bit. This is really nice. This is a slight coffee bean flavor, but only very mild. It's kind of nice, though. I'm actually surprised that this one isn't sweeter considering the four that we just had from them. Yeah, this is pretty dry. Yeah, dry, roasty. We're all so fucking peped up now. We're like, all right, all right, we're like again. I think that's what we needed, man. There's a smokiness to it that rounds out everything. I want to have a smoking jacket on right now. No, there's something like, there's a char to it also. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say there's kind of like an umami flavor sort of thing going on. There's something close to savory that I'm really, really digging here. Soy sauce, but not in a bad way at all. I know exactly what you mean. It's just kind of like a dash of it. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, this is just a dark chocolate beer. It also kind of reminds me of, you know, those smoked sea salt caramels. Oh, yeah. So with the dark chocolate smokes even covered, this is so fucking good. Yeah, I'm going to savor this. And it's not even, hey, this is good in comparison to what we just had. I mean, it is, but it's also a fucking great beer. Yeah, this is awesome. Wow, clear winner. Yeah, that's easy. You know, I'm getting a bit of tobacco, like just a little touch of cigar tobacco. Like tobacco leaves. Maybe that's kind of where some of that greediness is coming from. Yeah, possibly. There's a little dash of leather in there as well. This is right up my alley. I know this is fucking nailing it for me in every way. The alcohol is there, but it's adding to the rest of the stuff and making that all kind of blend together so fucking well. This is maybe like roasted marshmallow with the ash layer over the edge of it. Yeah, this is the beer I always kind of wanted to rank when it's really cold out and I go to a bar. Yeah. Oh shit, you know what this is tasting like to me? The fucking hot chocolate pie. Oh, that we had from Luci's. From Luci's. Yeah, I've got some in the fridge and it's chocolate and coffee and marshmallow and cream and just awesomeness. It tastes a lot like this and you know, the crust also. Yeah, there's underneath everything. I mean, there's something almost graham crackery here. Maybe a little bit of molasses. Thank goodness. Yeah. That silence was just relief. Yeah, I know. Are we even gonna thank Jordan for this episode? Yes. Of course I am. Thank you, Jordan, for the Imperial Stout. No, I'm kidding. Like I explained to you guys, he offered me a choice of a bunch of stuff. Hey, try this, try this, try this. Fuck you, John. You know what? We haven't done an epic show. I think epic is a really interesting brewery and they make some pretty good beers. Let's do that. So the choice of epic was mine. I don't regret that. So we should thank you for this episode. Yes. Thank you for the beers. You're welcome. No, no, thank Jordan because he bought the beers and I've had a couple of good beers tonight and one not so good. But yeah, I enjoyed a good portion of these beers. I was a little disappointed by a lot of them, but maybe because I should have recalibrated my expectations. I don't know. Are we ready to rank? Yeah, let's rank. Okay, let's rank these beers. I'm going. I'm going. Okay, Mike, please. Clear winner. A copulent, I know, I know the Imperial Stout without a doubt. This has everything that I want in Imperial Stout. A heavy alcohol presence, but that's not overriding all of the great flavors of dark chocolate and cocoa powder in that distant kind of molacicy note that it has. This one's firing on all cylinders, loved it, would have it again, would search for it again. My number two is the brainless on peaches. This one did a really great job of showcasing the peach, at least in comparison to the other fruit beer that we have, the brainless on cherries. But the brainless on peaches, I really liked that slight peach tartness that was going on there. I really felt like the body meshed well with the flavors of the beer. My number three, in really any of these last three, I sort of had a difficult time picking out which one I liked less. (laughing) The brainless on cherries was my number three. This one just didn't showcase enough of the fruit for me. And it was kind of one noted. There just really wasn't that much going on. And I felt like there was an opportunity that was missed to really showcase the cherries of four and five. For me, both of these were past their prime. I really would have liked to have had them within the first couple of months of their existence just to get a better sense of what these were about. I put the Imperial IPA at a number four because it aged better than I anticipated it that it would. My number five was the Hoppuland IPA. I am just not a huge multi IPA guy. I want Hopps to be at the forefront. And I feel like even if this was a little bit more fresh, it has a little bit more malt going on than I would really enjoy. That's my five. - Cool, I guess I'll go next. Definitely easy number one, that imperial stout. I'm still enjoying that, I'm going very slow and trying to savor that because it had everything I wanted in an imperial stout. Just roasty and delicious and coffee, chocolate, bitterness. Oh, awesome, you could just go back to when I was gushing about it earlier. My number two, brainless on peaches. I thought that was pretty fucking good. I could have used, yeah, a little bit more tartness, but whatever, I mean, that was a nice beer. I liked the peach. I liked the champagne yeast, like a brute champagne. Like there's some really cool stuff going on there. I do wish it had more carbonation. I wish it had a little less alcohol. That I think would have made that beer really, really good to me. Number three, brainless on cherries. I did like that quite a lot. I thought it felt a little aqueous for what it was doing. Yeah, it could have used more cherry in the flavor, but still dug it. Like I said, it reminded me of eating a cherry at the very bottom of some mixed drink. It was good, not great, but shit, I would drink that again. Number four, hoppulent IPA. Also, not a big fan of very sweet IPAs. This was one of those, but I still thought it was made well. And I think that if somebody else who was really into that sort of flavor profile, would try this, they would really love it. Because yeah, really aggressive, really bitter. Wish it was younger. I do think we were missing some of those light touches of hops, like the nuances that we were missing because of it being older, but I still thought it was a well-made beer. Number five, the Imperial IPA. It seemed like it was too multi, but also trying to be bright and fresh. And that just doesn't work for me. That juxtaposition doesn't work for me. It seemed like it was trying to be an east coast and a west coast IPA at the same time, and not really pulling it off. Oh, that'll come off. I don't know. And 1990s are calling, they don't like that. The hot profile was screaming, I need a drier beer, and the malt profile to me was demanding something more resume and sticky. I don't know. Kind of weird. We need an east coast versus west coast episode, where like half of us dress like Warren G, and sweet pork, and the other ones are like p-ditty. Half of us are regulating, and the other half is doing the crip walk. Yeah. Sweet. Well, who wants to go next? You want to say sure? I mean, does it matter? Yeah, go ahead. Go for it. Listen to that sigh of disappointment. Number one through three. Just kidding. Kind of. Number one, Imperial Stout. Best thing I've had tonight. You picture funny box. This is great. I didn't touch your box. Number two, brainless song. I don't know. Take your pick. Peaches. OK. Just to fit everybody else. Number three, brainless on cherries. Nothing to say. Nothing to say. OK. At a time for dead lass or my two drain pores, hopulent IPA and Imperial IPA. Awful. [LAUGHTER] OK. Well, so your commentary was number one. Best thing I've had, pause tonight. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, number five. Number four and five, Awful. Yeah, basically. So it's, guess I'll rank the other two. That's a really wide spread. It's amazing. Thanks, sweetheart. Grant, are you ready? So in my opinion, you can't have the name Epic Brewing Company without having epic ratings. Oh, shit. About to get real. Cue music right here. OK. OK. On a podcast, four alcoholics rate their beer. But one man rises to the challenge to rate epic brewing company's beer amazingly. OK. And then maybe like fighter jets kind of flying by. Sure. OK. I'll see what I can do. OK. I don't have that big a budget. Yeah, yeah. Number five, Grant Davis rates brainless on cherries. He says, this beer was disappointing. It had opportunity to be great with the tartness of their cherries, but it kind of fell short. And it fell short so much that I gave it the lowest rating. Number four, Imperial IPA. Grant Davis of the Beerus Podcast says, this was bitter as well. I thought it had a lot of pith and pine needles. It was all right. I didn't really care too much for it. Number three, popular IPA. Grant Davis of the Beerus says, this one, I thought it was pretty aggressively hoppy. I thought it was a little bit better than the Imperial IPA. I rated it a little higher. Number two goes to brainless on peaches. Grant Davis of the beerus.com says-- I guess I didn't really say anything on this one. I just liked it. More explosions. Maybe like the National Anthem starts playing on like a bugal. Imperial IPA, number one. This beer was fucking good. It says Grant Davis of the Beerus.com. More explosions just like tearing through. And maybe like a screaming eagle. Screeching. You know what the screaming eagle is? It's a six. Yes, it's a sex move. Everybody look that up. I'm not going to describe it, but it's worth the effort. That's a screaming eagle. Don't look it up right now, Mike. Thanks, Jack. Mike, look it up right now. I'm really looking forward to how you edit that. I think it's going to be fucking awesome. I hope it works out. Tune into the very end of this after the song. Yeah, I think I'll do that. Like after the song ends and after the outro, stage of the end. You might get a little surprised. Beautiful. Thank you so much, Grant. That was amazing. Surprisingly, when I start for screaming eagle, other things come up, like pro racing parts, something in Oakville, California. There's a winery American bar and grill, more wine stuff. Yeah, that's not-- Oh, something with the 101st Airborne Division. Not the move I had in mind. I found it. [LAUGHTER] I know what it is. I'm just saying what happens when you search for it. Mike has no filter on it. Yeah, Mike started putting in the Google and autofilled, because he doesn't remember searching for it every night. [LAUGHTER] Screaming eagle, scat porn. I wouldn't imagine Mike's life is like memento. [LAUGHTER] There was a sex term that I didn't know, and I had to immediately figure out what it is. Screaming eagle? Yeah, I didn't-- Oh, sweet. Yeah, yeah, you got me out. If you didn't know what a fucking screaming eagle was-- That's enough about the screaming eagle. Thank you, guys, for being here. Hey, thanks for having us. Hey, it's been wonderful. I'm so tired. I'm losing my eye on the tigers. Anastasia, thank you. Thank you. You're beautiful. I should have called them sick. You did. You basically found it in a little bit. I did. You're right. But not more than Grant Davis did until the end. They worked in it. I'm all my head in front of it. And Mike Lambert also. Yeah, yeah. I play the boof. And me, ah, it's the end of a five-day vendor. I know, and I'm so glad that my liver's going to have some time to heal. Yeah. Because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to get up at 8 in the morning and drink at free television Saturday. Oh, shit, that's happening this weekend, Saturday. God, we have a few days. My liver looks like foie gras. [LAUGHTER] You guys should cut me open and eat it. I bet it's real. No, no, I don't want to put any part of you in my mouth. But you haven't already put there. I haven't put any parts of him in my mouth now. Grant the other hand. Just grant. I don't want to be on my-- OK. You always be on the-- Hey, Mike is also the head part to you in his mouth. I was having a weird week. Thanks, everybody, for listening. You've been wonderful. Donate to us. Send us donations, yeah? At thebearest.com. Rate us on iTunes. Yes. Please do send us emails at info@thebearest.com. Keep drinking. Facebook page, like us, facebook.com/bearest. Instagram as the bearest. Keep drinking. Don't try to keep up with us. No, you'll die. Yes. Bottoms up in the-- Bottoms up. Bottoms down. I finally feel like you feel. Yep, for real. I finally feel everyone else feels bottoms down right now. Yeah, bottoms down. I don't even know what that means, but yeah. I feel it. Bottoms up, guys. I'm trying. Everything hurts right now. I just want to go. Everything sucks. Thanks, Jordan Miller. Thank you, buddy. This isn't your fault. I'm not being like, everything sucks. Thanks, Jordan. No, if you did good, you were crying because of the drinking. Because you initiated drinking on Thursday for them. I guess it was his fault. Fuck you, Miller. [LAUGHTER] Good night. [MUSIC PLAYING] More information on the Bearest's podcast, including show notes and pictures, visit thebearest.com. Email us your feedback, comments, questions, and suggestions, and to info@thebearest.com. Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/thebearests and follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/thebearests. Intro music was provided by Ian Butcher and his band, Defolated Balon. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/Ian_Butcher93. I'm John Rubio. Thanks again for listening. [MUSIC PLAYING] That's bad enough, just gettin' old. That might be sick, but it's more of a place 'cause I just spent down your way, change my mind. Baby, baby, baby, baby, I don't-- Grant, are you ready? So in my opinion, you can't have the name Epic Brewing Company without having epic ratings. Oh, shit. It's about to get real. On a podcast, four alcoholics rate their beer. But one man rises to the challenge to rate epic brewing company's beer amazingly. Cue music right here. OK. [MUSIC PLAYING] No, I'll put that in later. OK, and then maybe like fighter jets kind of flying by. [MUSIC PLAYING] OK, I'll see what I can do. OK, I don't have that big a budget. Yeah, yeah. Number five, Grant Davis rates brainless on cherries. He says this beer was disappointing. It had opportunity to be great with the tartness of their cherries, but it kind of fell short. And it fell short so much that I gave it the lowest rating. [MUSIC PLAYING] OK, I'll give it in. Number four, Imperial IPA. Grant Davis of the Beerus Podcast says, this was bitter as well. I thought it had a lot of pith and pine needles. It was all right. I didn't really care too much for it. [MUSIC PLAYING] Explosion. Number three, Hoppulent IPA. Grant Davis of the Beerus says, this one I thought was pretty aggressively Hoppie. I thought it was a little bit better than the Imperial IPA. I rated it a little higher. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Number two goes to brainless on peaches. Grant Davis of the beerus.com says-- I guess I didn't really say I didn't hang on this one. [LAUGHTER] Dun, dun, dun, dun. More explosions. Maybe like the National Anthem starts playing on a bugle. OK. [MUSIC PLAYING] I don't want to show some shit. Imperial IPA, number one. This beer was fucking good, says Grant Davis of the Beerus.com. More explosions just like tearing through and maybe like a screaming eagle. [MUSIC PLAYING] (chime) [BLANK_AUDIO]
