MK040 Sermons
Lust (Audio)
Well, this morning we're going to tackle a very difficult subject, subject to lust. It's a subject that Jesus discussed, and that's the reason that we're going to talk about it. But this issue is connected with a bigger issue, which is the issue of sexuality, which the Bible has a lot to say about, and unfortunately churches have not spent enough time talking about it. We live in a culture and society that's inundated with sexual messages, and the question we don't often ask ourselves is, what does God say about all of this? So if you're guests here with us this morning, this is not something we talk about weekly, but it is an important subject that we're not going to gloss over, and we're spending time on this morning. When I was 13, I was handed a book about human sexuality, and up until that time, I had come up with this idea that the way that a girl got pregnant was if she used the bathroom after a boy did. I don't really have any idea how I came up with that. No idea. In my house growing up, my dad and my brother and I, we used one bathroom, and my mom and sister didn't care how messy or dirty a guy, because we had to clean it, so that was ours, and then my sisters and my mom, they used another bathroom, and everywhere I went in life as boys and girls, and somehow I came up with this idea. I wasn't quite sure how, but so I began to read this book, and there was lots of graphic pictures of male and female body parts that were sketched and drawn, and I didn't really understand all of that, and it was, I grew up with three sisters who I really didn't have a very good relationship with, and my mom was kind of a tough, you know, strong woman, and so it was a little unusual for me when I found this attraction to females, and then that attraction to females was on occasion return. This was complicated by physical changes that I didn't understand and no one talked to me about, dreams that were bizarre, lewd jokes I would hear from guys that were older than me, and this capacity to think about girls in ways I had never done so before. I knew the rules, no sex before marriage, but no one told me what to do about the R-rated movies playing in my head. I don't know what started them, where they came from, or how to stop them. I only knew that when they started, they seemed to go in my mind, places that I did not think I should go. My high school year is my senior year, I believe it was, I talked to a trusted godly advisor in my life, and he helped me a little bit through navigating that. College brought me into serious relationships, and in those serious relationships, the struggle continued with the only boundary being pay attention and guard what you watch and what you think about, but I didn't really understand where it came from, or what caused these thoughts to hijack my mind constantly without any warning. Well, as my relationship with Christine increased, I thought relief was in sight, and when we were finally married and sex was no longer a no, but now yes, I thought that all of this would come to an end. And I remember shortly after our wedding when they came again, and I about wanted to scream and yell and swear, "God, this is not fair!" I waited until I was married, I kept myself pure, and now this still happens. I learned to fight the battle harder, wrestle with the struggle, but it took me a long, long time to understand what was underneath of and what was causing and what was driving all of this in my life. Well, last week we tackled the subject of anger, and as I was speaking to all of you last week, it hit me that this is a subject that affects every person in this room. And as I began to prepare for this subject a few weeks ago, my initial thoughts were, "Well, this is going to be a pretty challenging message for the men in this room, and the women will just kind of hear what the men have to wrestle with." But I began to think about conversations I've had with women, and then I talked to a few other women who have conversation with lots of women this week, and they confirmed what I assumed might be true, and that this is a subject that affects everyone once again. You see, we live in a sex-crazed culture that uses sexual images on everything, sexual messages to sell everything, sexuality in every sporting event, and men and women are presented in airbrush rays, ways that create images that entice everyone that looks at them. Unfortunately, our children are confronted with this at even younger ages, and because it's not being spoken, they don't want to know what to do except to embrace what they are assuming is the way life should be. And that is what we see. What Jesus is going to talk about this morning, and what I'm going to challenge you with, is what we don't see, what is unseen, what goes on in the battle and the struggle in our minds. And the Christian community has made some efforts to address this over the years, but primarily with men, and I think unduly has put the weight of responsibility on some of the cause of this on women in the way that they dress. Only recently has that bias to be confronted and a recognition that this is a human struggle that we all are faced with, no matter what age you are. And this morning, we're going to look at what Jesus had to say, what He confronted in that day, and the challenges that has for us in our lives today. If you haven't been here with us, we've been in a series entitled "Sitting at the Feet of Jesus," and we've been learning from Him as He's speaking to a large group of people who had chosen to follow Him in a message called "The Sermon on the Mount." If you have your Bibles, if you would turn to Matthew chapter 5, if you don't have a Bible or a guy's have some and they'll pass them out, it's going to be on page 596 on the Bibles that they are passing out. Matthew chapter 5, page 596, and in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus surprises us by telling us who's invited to be a part of the Kingdom of Heaven. It surprises us because these are not the people that we think, the good and righteous people, the people that do everything they're supposed to. That's not who Jesus says are invited in, the ones that are invited in are those whose hearts are open to Him, and usually that are people that are on the outside, on the edges, on the fringe of society and culture. He then goes on to tell us that their lives will be so radically transformed that they will be like salt, that seasons the culture and preserves it. They will be like a light that cannot stay hidden, that has to shine to people all around them. And this is because Jesus showed up, He's the final piece of the puzzle that they were waiting to try to understand. And then last week we began to tackle a series of six questions that Jesus raises. And He doesn't say like He says in other places, it is written. He says, "You have heard," it said. And what Jesus is confronting is oral tradition, and we talked about that last week. And oral tradition is like, it's okay to drive five to seven miles over the speed limit. Now that's not the law, is it? No. That's just oral tradition, that's what we've told ourselves, right? And that's what Jesus is going to confront, the oral tradition that is there. If you're there in your Bibles, let's read through the passage together, and then we will spend some time looking at it. Matthew chapter five verses 27 through 30 page 5, 96. Jesus says this, "You heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye caused you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It's better to lose one body part than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand caused you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It's better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." As we start looking at this passage, it's a little confusing to us because the very first phrase there that Jesus says in Matthew 5, 27, that you've heard it said, "Do not commit adultery." Does that ring a bell? Does that anywhere else in the Bible where that phrase might show up? Anybody have any idea where you don't commit adultery phrase comes from? Any idea? Ten commandments. Right. Exodus 20, Deuteronomy 5, Jesus said, "Don't commit adultery." And it kind of leaves us scratching our head a little bit because this is not a word that we use in our culture today. We would use the word like an affair or an inappropriate relationship. Those are the ways that we use this word today. But the word adultery simply means a man or a woman who has sexual intercourse with a man or woman who's not their spouse is called adultery and that's what Jesus is talking about. And it was widely held and widely believed that adultery came with the high price tag in the Jewish community. Usually someone caught in adultery lost their life. That was the penalty. They say, "Why was it so strong?" Well, we're going to talk about the significance of marriage next week in the passage we're going to look at. But one of the reasons why I think it's so strong, not only did God establish it at the very beginning, but he used this picture of a husband and wife in this intimate relationship to describe God's relationship with the people of Israel. Repeatedly, he talked about them living in adultery. The people of Israel, the whole nation, why? Because they had turned their back on the one that loved them and that was the God their Creator who had chosen them and called them to be his very own. The Bible condemns all adulterous relationships and it usually puts the weight on the man. Why is that so? Well even in the second temple, the temple is destroyed and re-establishing it. The second temple writings talk to men and it talks about them being careful about the dangers of women, but Jesus puts all the weight back on the man. Jesus is not a killjoy as it relates to human sexuality. The Bible talks about two reasons for God creating this whole idea of sex. The first is so that the world can continue. Procreation, Genesis 1, that you might go be fruitful and multiply. But not only that, God also talks about in the book of Song of Solomon, a husband and a wife committed to one another, enjoying an intimate sexual relationship. He takes a whole book in the Bible to write about this. Very different than the Victorian prudence which said, "It can't be talked about, can't be discussed." It's almost shameful to even think about it. And God says it's something to be celebrated because it pictures my relationship with my people. It pictures the relationship that Jesus has with the church, the bride of Christ. So the Jewish community, the Jewish leader says, "Well, I'm good with that, I'm sleeping around, I'm okay." And then Jesus, as he does throughout this, he raises the bar significantly higher in verse 28, he says, "But I tell you, but I tell you, that anyone who looks lustfully at a woman has committed adultery with her in his heart." You see, Jesus doesn't just stay on the seventh commandment. He says, "Guys, you kind of forgot number 10. Number 10. You remember what the tenth commandment was? Exodus chapter 20. It's going to come up on the screen there. You shall not covet your neighbor's house, your neighbor's wife, or his male or female servant, his ox, donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." To covet is really to desire. And the hard part for us is, desire is something that's good that God has given to us. He's given us desires for all kinds of things that he says, "I want you to enjoy." The problem is, is when those desires take something that is not for us to have. But how do those desires happen? Well, those desires start when your buddy drives up to church in a hot new sports car that he just got, you know? Or when you see someone that's maybe been, you know, lost a lot of weight and kind of taken care of themselves, you see something that you desire. And it often happens very, very innocently, doesn't it? You know, for those of you that have been to my house or a small group of us, you know, one of the things that my wife does very, very well is make chocolate chip cookies. She doesn't think she makes good chocolate chip cookies, but I think she makes great chocolate chip cookies, and people tell us that she makes really, really good chocolate chip cookies. And so, you know, these chocolate chip cookies, she makes them, and we have a counter there, she sits all these cookies out on the counter, and, you know, the cookies look really, really good. And, and, and I walk by these cookies, and she'll tell you, I don't eat a lot of sweets. I really don't. And I kind of ignore most of those, but these are really, really hard to pass up, aren't they, Frank? You know, they're really, really hard to pass up. Why don't you try one there? You want one, Diane? All right. How about you, Kelly? Michael, you're going to take a cookie? Oh, he's not going to pass one up, you know, so, see, no eggs today, they get cookies. We're standing not here this morning, but, but it's really, really hard for me to pass these cookies up. I mean, fresh out of the oven, you know, they're on the counter. And I can justify it. I can say, well, you know, I ran earlier today, and I haven't eaten any sweets for the last couple of days, and it starts to play that in my mind. I'm like, hey, I can have a cookie, right? There's nothing wrong with me having a cookie. Is there anything wrong with me having a cookie? What do you think? No, there's nothing wrong with me having a cookie. But there's a problem because when I eat one cookie, I, that cookie is so good, I can't just stop with one cookie. You know, I have to eat a second and a third cookie, and Frank was looking like he wants another one down there, you know, and, and that's what happens. And then by the time I got three or four down, my wife comes in and like, who took all the cookies, you know, and I'm like, sorry, hun, you know, and, but that's what happens, isn't it? Something good, something innocent, something that's just what God's given us to enjoy something good, something delicious, it all of a sudden takes over and it then leads us to a place that we did not want to go to. You see, lust, as we're going to talk about it here, is a desire. It's a desire that God has given to us for that intimate personal relationship. But it's a desire instead to foster sexually explicit thoughts that we conjure up in our mind and in our imagination. And God says these will lead you to very dangerous places. Look at James chapter one, James chapter one, verses 14 through 17. Let's go to James one, the next one there. It says this, but each of you is tempted when you are dragged away by what? Your own desires and enticed. Then after that desire has conceived, what does it give birth to sin? And sin when it's full grown gives birth to death. It pictures for us the path that happens. You see, someone doesn't just walk around the corner and fall into bed with someone else and have, at a fair, do they? No. It starts in their mind way back here and they conjure it up and they entertain it and they stay there and then the conjuring up and staying there becomes flirtatious thoughts and then those flirtatious thoughts become flirtatious words and then those words move to touch and that touch moves to time and that time moves intimacy. And Jesus takes us all the way back to the very beginning, all the way back to the beginning and says you have to pay attention to it at that place. Because what happens when less occurs is you use someone else to fulfill your fantasies. And Jesus says, when you open that door and you use that person that I have designed as someone in my image to be enjoyed and you take them and use them for yourself, it is as if you are committing the act of adultery, literally mental rape. You see, but that's, that's not fair. I didn't violate my marriage vow, I'm not sleeping with anyone, I didn't even touch anyone. It's just thoughts. But Jesus says, when you do that and you entertain that thought, you take something that is not yours to meet a need in your life in a way that God has not made possible for you to have. The danger is that Jesus knows that once you open that door, you will set yourself up for the potential for sin that can wreck your life. But remember, this desire has a good side because in the book of Solomon, Solomon writes repeatedly of the man and the female gazing upon the one that they have been blessed with and privileged to enjoy for a lifetime. So what did Jesus say to do about it? Well, he uses some pretty graphic imagery for us. Look in verse 29, he says, if your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out, throw it away. It's better for you to lose one part of your body than your whole part of your body to be thrown into hell. However, if your right hand causes you to sin, it's better for you to cut it off and throw it away, better to lose one part for your whole body to be thrown into hell. That word "hell" is the word that we talked about last week, Gehenna, the dump. He said, "It's better to lose one part than for you to completely lose your life." This imagery brings to mind a movie that was out a few years ago called "127 Hours." Anybody see that movie, "127 Hours"? It's a true story about a guy named Aaron Raulson. He was a hiker, and he was hiking in the canyons in Utah. He was hiking in the canyons in Utah, and he slipped down in a canyon, and as he slipped down in this canyon, an 800-pound boulder fell down in that canyon and pinned his arm against the wall of the canyon. He was trapped there, called out for help, he was trapped there for five days. At the end of that fifth day, it concluded he was not going to make it, he had taken his knife, he had carved his name in the rock, he had carved rest in peace there, he had recorded video messages to his family and his kids about how much he loved them and how much he was going to miss sharing life with them. But at the end of the sixth day, all of a sudden, for him, his will to live took over. In the moment of desperation, he realized the only way he was going to get out of that canyon is somehow get his arm removed, his body removed from his arm that was pinned, because there was no way he was going to move that boulder. What he proceeded to do is he proceeded to break both of the bones in his arm, and then after he broke both of the bones in his arm, he took his rusty knife that he just carved in that rock and proceeded to sever his arm. After he did that, he climbed up out of the canyon, repelled down out of the mountain, and then walked three miles to find someone that could help him. As everyone's watching that movie, there's one question going through their minds, and that one question is, "Would I be willing to do that? Would I be willing to cut off my arm to save my life? Would I be willing to do it?" And he concluded, "It's just an arm, it's just an arm." He concluded, "I can give up something that is meaningful to me because I don't want to miss out on the things that my wife and I might be able to experience, but I don't want to miss out on the life that I might have with my kids." And he was willing to sacrifice something that had been meaningful to him so that he could live. And Jesus uses a very shocking statement almost to get our attention and to wake us up that this is a really, really, really serious thing. And to say, "Would you be willing to sacrifice a physical part of your body so that you could live in freedom and peace and joy and not be trapped in the bondage of this?" The religious leaders didn't quite understand what Jesus was talking about, he wasn't suggesting self-mutilation. The Pharisees, there was a group of the Pharisees known as the Bleeding Heads, and these individuals were known as the Bleeding Heads because in an attempt to not look at women, they walked around like this and ran their heads into things all the time and their heads kept bleeding, you know, and that was their attempt to avoid the problem. There was a church father named Origen of Alexander who attempted to deal with his own temptations and desires by limiting himself what he would eat and limiting his sleep and possessions, and he even chose to become a eunuch to try to deal with his sexual temptation. Fortunately, the church outlawed that in 325 AD. I don't think that's what Jesus is talking about. I think he's trying to get our attention because in Mark chapter 7, I believe it's Mark, yes, Mark chapter 7, look what he says in verse 21, if we can go back one slide to verse 21, there it is, "For from within out of our hearts come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, lewdness, evil, slander, arrogance, and folly." All these evils come from inside and to follow you. You see, I could tell you that you need to read these books and I could tell you need this filtering software on your computers and I could tell you that there's probably certain things you should avoid looking at and those would be good things to do and we need to set appropriate boundaries in our lives. But if that's all we do, then have we not done what the Pharisees did and just create more rules around the laws and never really get to the matter of the heart. The bigger question is what's going on inside your heart? That's the question. What's going on inside your heart? Our ushers are going to pass something out to you and as they pass something out, I just want to ask you if you just kind of hold on to that for a moment. But in order to understand what's going on in our hearts, I think we first of all have to continue to understand this whole idea of lust. What is lust? Lust is something that draws us into a temporary fulfillment that will cost you long term. It's a temporary fulfillment that will cost you long term. Let me give you an example. There was a king by the name of David and the Bible tells us this story that at this point in his kingship, the nation of Israel was at the largest level of expansion that had ever been in human history and since that time, even up till now. He was at home one night up on his rooftop. He happens to look one direction and see a woman bathing. He then invites her into his home, has sexual intercourse with her, a child is conceived, he proceeds to kill this woman's husband, the baby ends up dying, his family is in conflict and he's not allowed to build the temple as a result of that. One act, one decision, one choice that started simply as a look, but it let him down a path that ultimately ruined his life. One of his son Solomon, described as the wisest and the wealthiest man who ever lived, could have anything he wanted and instead of learning from his father's mistakes, learning from his father's struggles, he multiplied those struggles, often what happens in our lives. Children's struggles are multiplied on top of ours, powerful motivator for us as adults to deal with the issues in our hearts now and not let them be ignored. He said, what did that look like for him? Well, the Bible records that he had hundreds of wives and hundreds of prostitutes at his disposal and they took this man who was the wisest and wealthiest man that ever lived and the Bible says it turned his heart away from God and as his heart turned away from God, God removed his kingdom from him and the kingdom was divided and the only thing that was left to the name of the nation that was significant was one tribe in the south. You see lust always takes something and always wants more. Christ is literally taking something for myself from someone else without their permission. What we call that in our culture today, it's stealing. You know, we assume, oh, it's just a stray thought and Jesus says, no, you're an adult or an a thief. You see God's design is that we would experience unconditional love, a love that loves us regardless of who we are, where we are at, what's happening in our lives. His design is that we experience that kind of love as a child from our parents most meaningfully often from our mothers and that we as we move on in our lives and we enter relationships that we commit and we give ourselves to someone else, that we give ourselves to say, I love you no matter what, no matter what we go through, no matter what I'm going to face, I love you. And out of that loves comes the erotic intensive love of intimacy that God provides. But that kind of love is pursued without that unconditional love and acceptance. It's never enough, it's never enough. Take the little packet, the little thing that was given to you and there's a, there's a tiny little chocolate chip. Take that one and eat that one. You know who makes that tiny little chocolate chip, take a guess, Hershey's, yeah, Hershey's. Do you know in Hershey's chocolate chip there's no natural sweeteners and you can't just eat one Hershey kiss, can you? No, more, more, more. Now here's another one, take this one, put this one in your mouth. And if I know where that one came from, Wilbur's right, Wilbur Buds, yeah. Natural sweeteners in them, gives you a sense of fulfillment. Now I know some of you want another one, but you know, just kind of pictures for us, things that look almost the same, right? Not very different. But one has something missing that creates a craving in our souls. And one that has it in it gives us a contentment that we've never known before. You see, God's original purpose for us is that we were created to be in a relationship with Him, to enjoy Him completely and intensely. The problem is we live in a world of conflict and things that don't go the way we want them to go. When we talk last week about anger, when we don't get what we want, what does that produce? It produces anger. And when we don't get what we want, we lose a sense of control, we lose a sense of power. And when that is taken from us, when we feel bad, when there's emotional pain, where do we often go, especially as men, to a place of lust, to a place that we will find power, you'll find control, but we'll leave us feeling empty. And if lustful thoughts are around to run rampant with pornography being available instantly, it leads us to a place of very false intimacy. I want to talk to four different groups who are here this morning and think with you about what the applications are for this in each one of our lives. The first group that I want to talk to is young men or unmarried men. This is an incredible battle for you. You see when a man sees something that is beautiful, there's an electrical impulse that goes on in his brain, not in a woman's brain, in a man's brain that instantly excites him. He has a choice in that moment of time to appreciate it or to use it. And God says to you, even in your thoughts, not just in your physical being, even in your thoughts, you need to wait to entertain those thoughts until you are in a committed marriage relationship. Guys, be careful what you put in your minds. Don't forget the homework assignment you were given. You'll forget what mom or dad just told you to do five minutes ago, but you will never forget that first sexually explicit image that you looked at and you viewed. Porns available instantly everywhere, and you have to set appropriate boundaries. But remember, it's not just setting boundaries. It's being able to view women that God brings into your life as individuals created in his image as a gift, as a friend, not a stranger to use. The truth is whether you realize this or not, every man in this room knows this struggle. Your father knows this struggle, even if he's never talked to you about it. Your small group leader knows this struggle. Your friends know this struggle. Your night's group leader knows this struggle. Your pastors know this struggle, and I plead with you today, don't hide this struggle. Sin always grows in the dark. Sin cannot grow when light exposes it. I know this is difficult to talk about. I know it's difficult to even entertain that thought. But what God wants you once for you will be sacrificed and compromised if you live in the world of your thoughts, thinking about women in ways that God says, don't do that because they are my daughters that have been created in my image, not to be used in this way. For the married guys in the room, the struggle is as real as it is for the single guys. Unresolved anger in our lives for men, often results, and them viewing porn. No surprise, Jesus said, deal with your anger first, is it? And deal with it right away. You see, you were designed to experience the warmth that I talked about from a woman in your childhood, and if that didn't happen, you will pursue that and seek that somewhere else, even if it is false and even if it leaves you longing for more. If you pursue a false intimacy in the warmth that you think will come from it, it will disappoint you every single time, and you know that I'm not telling you anything new. But for the sake of your wife, for the sake of your sons and daughters, no matter how old you are, tackle this issue in your life. Don't ignore it. And someone this morning approached me, twenty years my senior, and say, I thought I was the only one that this was a struggle, can we talk? Last week I talked about the continuum of anger, and part of it I understood, and part of it I didn't, and I understood a man's struggle in this area. Because I've shared with you some of that I've lived with it my whole life. But I've come to understand and come to discover that this is a very real and difficult struggle for women as well. And so I want to talk first of all to the single and the unmarried women, and I know I'm entering delicate territory. Our culture preaches a message to you loud and clear that you have to look a certain way, and you have to peer a certain way, and if you look a certain way and a peer a certain way, then you will get the guy that you want to get, and if you get the guy that you want to get, then you will have your needs met. The reality and the truth is that God has created you as his daughter, and he loves you just the way you are. You see lust is wanting more in this area of intimacy than God has designed for you at this point in your life. But our culture feeds into this and curiosity, especially amongst young women, has raised the level of porn viewing by women almost to the levels that it is for men. You know, fantasy world can be a lot of fun to dream of who that guy is going to be that God might bring into your life for you. But if you spend so much time, read, and then fantasizing about that individual, the truth is you may never find a perfect guy because I hate to tell you there aren't any, we're all flawed. Every single one of us. And so my challenge to you is wrestle with the reality of how much God loves you for who you are, how much God loves you for the person that he has made you to be. And sure pray for that person that God has for you to share your life with. But guard against opening that door too wide and live in a place that's not where God wants you to be. And ask yourself this question, can my heart be content with this relationship, with my relationship with Jesus until God brings a man in my life that I can give my life to? For the ladies who are married in this room, honestly I have to say I have been stunned and saddened about how real this struggle is that women face. You see, God has designed you to enjoy physical sexual intimacy with your husband. And yet for many women, this is not their experience. For most women it's something that they dread, that they tolerate, that I got to get this over with. And it's so far from God's design. From abuse that they've suffered as children, to having to live with husbands that are demanding and selfish and women who want to honor God with their lives and submit to their spouses, they've found themselves hating what God has designed as a wonderful gift to them. How do they survive by living in a fantasy world before, during, and after intimacy and lusting for something outside of what is their experience now? I said, John, how do I survive? I don't have the answers for you. I know some people that I can direct you to talk to that can walk with you in there. If God has blessed you with a relationship that is filled with great enjoyment, not only relationally but also sexually, know that that is rare. Even in this room, I wish it was different, but it's not. You see, this is a subject that affects all of us. It's hard to talk about it in this way, because this week we really say, "This is what God doesn't say to do." It says, "Don't do this, and be willing to give something up." Don't void it, because of where it will lead you, but what God does have for you and what He does long for you is possible, even in the midst of an awful relationship. It's possible, because of this, because of the cross, because there's a God who loves you unconditionally, that is walking with you, that is there with you, every step of your day, and that invites you into an intimacy with Him that's beyond what you can imagine in your journey right now. I say, but John, I've messed up plenty of times. I've blown it, and you've even pointed to Sam's things. I thought we're okay, that I didn't realize shouldn't be true in my life today, and it doesn't seem right that we should end here and talk about what Jesus has done for us. But before we go there, I want to invite you to take some steps to begin to face this in your own life. The first is what it says in James 4, and that's, "Humble yourself in God's eyes." You say, "How do I humble myself?" I humble myself by admitting that this is a struggle of mine, by admitting that it's something that I can't control, by admitting it's something I feel powerless to defeat. My commit to living within boundaries of where God has you right now. Boundaries are important, but boundaries are not the only thing God wants you to deal with. He wants you to deal with your heart. That's God for the patience that's needed, and ask God to deepen your desire for Him. I don't know where you're at in your journey this morning. I only know what happened to look at this issue straight in the mirror for the last couple weeks has stirred up and challenged my own heart. Maybe God has exposed, has pointed out, has revealed some areas of the struggle that you have been ignoring, that you've been entertaining, that you've been tasting, and you need to fall on your knees and you need to confess those before God. When David was confronted with his sin with Bathsheba, he said, "Against God have I sinned." I certainly sinned against her and a whole host of others, but it started with his confession with God. Maybe this has not been a struggle, but for you the struggle has not been something you have been doing, but the struggle has been to be grateful for and value and enjoy the relationship that God has blessed you with. You see, the more you eat something that's real and natural, the less you want something that's artificial, isn't it? Part of this is dealing with our heart. Part of this is setting boundaries, but if God has placed you in a marriage relationship that you are committed to, what does it look like for you to commit yourself to that relationship? When you say, "John, what if there are some things that aren't healthy, aren't good?" We're going to talk about that in a couple weeks, but this is your heart, this is not your actions, this is your heart, this is stuff on the inside and your thoughts and your mind that maybe no one in this room knows about, even your spouse, even your parents. This is you being willing to come before God and say, "God, I don't want this to be part of my life and I want this to be part of my life." God, if you have me waiting right now until I'm in a relationship, that's what I want to wait for and help me to do that no matter how hard it is. [BLANK_AUDIO]