MCC Podcasts
Love - Your Single Story
to introduce our guest speaker. Jeff is on staff here. He's on the men's retreat this weekend. When we actually left Marin Covenant and we moved out to Colorado and Jeff was on staff and Karen was also on the faculty. She had already been on the faculty for several years there. So we were first introduced to her ten years ago when we moved out there. And we watched her have an impact on those students as well as on our own children and the relationship that she had developed with us as a family. She's served in several Covenant churches as an ordained pastor and she's serving as the director of mission, mobilization and connection with the Covenant World Mission. And she's been there since 2006. But when I think of Karen, I think about her heart for the world and her global perspective that she has and her ability to bring God's grace into some broken situations around the world. And that's where her heart lies. But I also see another side of her that even more so she, I appreciate the way that she brings God's grace into one-on-one conversations as she pastors people and her giftings and also as a sister in Christ. So may you be blessed by her words today and when you join me in giving her warm welcome, Karen Halberg. Contrary to popular belief, Linda and I did not call each other to say, "What are you wearing to church on Sunday?" Michael commented on that. "Well, it is good to be with you. I was here a couple of years ago. I got to preach." And so it is nice to be back to see people that I knew then and to meet new friends. When I was telling people in my life back home about this opportunity to speak and I said, "I get to go to Marin Covenant and talk about being single." I had a number of suggestions for sermon titles. So one friend of mine said, "This is the title for your sermon. I'm all by myself and loving it." I'm like, "Okay." And another suggestion was sometimes it sucks to be single. And there were some other suggestions in between. And I realized as I was getting ideas from people that their suggestions had more to do with their level of introversion or extroversion on a temperament scale or their level of contentment with life. Jeff Mazzarello gave me a suggestion for the sermon which I will not share with you. I will just let you imagine what that was. So I decided to come up with my own title and I'm calling it, "Love Your Single Story." As Linda said, my name is Karen Halberg. I'm a Covenant pastor. I'm the youngest of four children. My parents are 88 years old and they, at the end of this month, will celebrate their 62nd anniversary. So they're rock stars. I have three older siblings who are all married and they each have three kids. My family is very organized. Some of those nieces and nephews are also married and I've got three great nieces and nephews at this moment in time. I'm a person who loves to watch sports. I love watching movies. I am a music hack, so I like to play my guitar and sing when I get a chance. I am single. When I lived in Colorado, I was planning on taking a group of students down to Ecuador for a mission trip. I took Spanish in high school and I thought I'd better warm up on my Spanish to get ready to lead this group. So my friend, Janice, and I signed up at the community college for a conversational Spanish class. So we go the first day and the teacher is like, "Welcome to class, Hola, Ma'ammo, Katarina and all this stuff." So she's talking to us and she said, "I'm going to teach you how to say, "Hello, my name is." I'm going to teach you how to say, "I am this many years old. I am from here and I live here." And I'm also going to teach you how to say, "I'm married or I'm single." And we're all kind of like, "All right, that's an interesting place to start." So we learn how to say those phrases and we get into groups and we start practicing with each other. And so we were kind of commenting in the U.S. it doesn't seem like saying, "Hi, my name is Karen." And then how old are you as the next follow-up question? We're a little leery about that, I think. So anyway, we were doing it. So Janice and I passed the class with flying colors so I went to Ecuador. We arrived in Quito and the purpose of the trip was we were doing a youth conference for youth workers who worked with the Covenant Church in Ecuador. And we were going to do some training with them and then with the students I took with me we were going to lead a youth retreat for their teenagers. And so we get to the camp and we were waiting for people to arrive and I heard all this talking and laughing in the kitchen so I thought, "That's the party, that's where I want to be." So I walk into the kitchen and there's all these women and they're making food and stuff and so I say, "Hola, me amo carina." And they were like, "Oh, hi, Karen." So then they said, "How old are you?" And I said, "Oh, Tengo Trenthi Se Sanjo." So I was 36 at the time. And then they go, "Are you married?" And I thought, "Oh, my gosh, my Spanish teacher was right." They did ask me that question and so I said, "No soy solpeira." And that really got to rise out of them because then they were like, "Oh, my gosh, she's single." So they all start chattering and I'm like, "Oh, what did I start here?" So the rest of the week in Ecuador, as we were engaging in ministry and doing things, they kept introducing me to people and they'd be like, "Karen, here's Washington, he's single. Karen, here's Marcos, he's single." And I got to meet Chucky and all sorts of people. Well, none of those relationships lasted, but I appreciate they had my back. They were looking out for me and they wanted me to meet that Mr. Wright. But that phrase in Spanish, "Soy solpeira," it means "I am." It's like the essence of who I am and I realized being single might describe me, but I don't believe it defines me. There are some myths about being single, like this. Going to a movie or eating dinner alone means you're a loser. Actually, it means you probably want to see a show nobody else wants to see or you're hungry. Single people are incomplete. They're not whole. Single women over the age of 29 are without hope, so they should just get a bunch of cats. And single men are creepy. Single people are selfish and irresponsible. Words of encouragement I've heard along my way that haven't really been very helpful are these. If you rest in Jesus completely, then you'll find someone. Really? Someday God will be faithful to you and bring you a spouse. Ooh, can't God be faithful to me without a spouse? What is true? Singleness is a label. It's a way to describe a stage of life. And every single person has multiple layers to them as well, so we can't put every single person in a box. So you have never married singles, like I am. Some people that are never married have kids and some don't. There are divorced singles. Some have kids, some don't. There are widows and widowers of all ages, and some are parents and some are not. You've got single adults who are desperate to be married on one hand and other single adults who are so happy to be single, they want to live in it the rest of their lives. And you've got people all the way in between. Here's something that might shake you up a bit. According to therapist Judy Ford, she says everyone is single. We come into the world as one tiny individual and all throughout life were attached to people. But nobody ever abides in our skin. So this morning I want to ask you, what's your unique single story? Do you love it? When I was growing up, I was certain I would get married after college, have five kids, the two-story house, maybe a white picket fence, but I would have the yard and the neighborhood that all the kids wanted to come hang out at. TV shows and fairytales kind of reinforced the ease of finding that perfect match. And so I watched things like "Leave it to Beaver" and "The Andy Griffith Show" even Barney 5% found somebody, right? We've got love American style and loveboat and Mary Tyler Moore saying "Love is all around. You're going to make it after all." I've hung out with people and thought there was marriage potential. I've dated people. They thought there was marriage potential. And yet nothing has turned into a relationship of permanence. And when that happens, I got to be honest, there's some disappointment, some grief about that. Maybe your single story is different from mine, but we all understand what disappointment and grief feel like. And when that happens, it's easy to get distracted from the truth about love, to believe lies about ourselves, to believe lies about God. The thread through your church's sermon series so far this year has been the love of God, right? God's love for all people and the call of people to love each other. When Art and I were talking about this message, he described the series to me and kind of told me the progression. And the pastors all stole all the good love scriptures, so I have to use something different this morning. But he said, "You know what? As he was brainstorming with me, maybe you can just talk about what Jesus says about being single." And I thought, I don't think Jesus says anything about being single, but let me check anyway. So I found in Matthew 19, 12, he says this, "There are different reasons why some men cannot marry." It's not a direct teaching. It's a conversation with his disciples about divorce. And there's nothing really clear about what Jesus says. He's just like it's just the status of somebody. You see, Jesus seems to be way more concerned with a person living as a faithful disciple than their relational status. So for those of us who are single right now, what does it look like for us to love God and others? What does it look like for us to be transformed by the love of Jesus and become more like him? There's good news for us this morning because those of us who are single are one step ahead of our brothers and sisters who are married because Jesus was single and so are we. So we can check that off the list. So exciting. Our scripture this morning is from Philippians chapter 2. We're going to hear what Paul, a prominent, unattached man in the New Testament, has to say. So if you'd like to follow along, we're going to look at Philippians 2 verses 1 through 13. Therefore, if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit rather in humility value others above yourselves. Not looking to your own interests, but each of you should look to the interests of others. In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had, who being in the very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage. Rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness, and being found in appearance as a human being he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death even death on a cross. Therefore, God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed not only in my presence, but now so much more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. Now it is God who works in you to will and to act according to fulfill his good purpose. If I were to summarize this passage, I'd say this, being united with Christ sets us in relationships with others, so that God will work in us to fulfill his good purpose. As single women and men, we live into this by first of all engaging solitude. Philippians chapter 2 starts with this exhortation from Paul to be united with Christ, and then when we get to verse 13, he talks about the fact that God is going to work in us to will and act according to his good purpose. Unity reprised then shapes our thinking and our choices. It shapes us in a way so that our lives are aligned with God's purposes, that go away beyond our one single life. The God of the universe is so in love with you and me that he invites you into relationship with himself, and then he says, "I want to use your life to make a difference in the world for my glory." Isn't that incredible? So how do we unite with Christ? How do we experience this most intimate of relationships? We need to spend time with him and engage in solitude. Now there's a challenge to engaging solitude, and that challenge is loneliness. Can I have anybody raise their hand? Who likes being lonely? Anyone? I hate feeling lonely. It's the worst when it strikes. It can be depressing to come home to an empty house day after day. I can feel like a social misfit if my phone isn't ringing or texts aren't dinging to invite me to some new adventure after work or to some fun thing on a weekend. When I'm alone and I wake up in the middle of the night, I can feel like nobody ever will care. Have you ever felt lonely in the middle of a party? It's not so fun. But loneliness is a universal human experience, and when loneliness grips us, we often do everything we can to avoid the pain. We become quite sophisticated in our approach to dealing with loneliness. We may choose to distract ourselves with shallow activities, like watching a lot of TV. There's thousands of TV channels now to choose from. We can invest in superficial relationships. We might stay busy or overcommitted at work. We might involve ourselves in addictive behavior or selfish sexual choices, like one night stands or pornography. In his book, "Reaching out Henry Nowlin" puts it this way. He says, "When we have no project to finish, no friend to visit, no book to read, no television to watch, or no record to play, when we're left all alone by ourselves, we are brought so close to the revelation of our basic human aloneness and are so afraid of experiencing an all-pervasive sense of loneliness that we will do anything to get busy again, and continue the game which makes us believe that everything is fine after all. Nowlin goes on to write this, "No lover or friend, no husband or wife, no community or commune will ever be able to put to rest our deepest cravings for unity and wholeness." Only Jesus can meet us in those deepest places. Only Jesus can meet us to make us whole and fill our emptiness. So the question becomes, "How can we stop playing the game that makes us believe everything is fine?" We engage in solitude and we don't run from being alone. Engaging solitude is about practicing spiritual disciplines. In order to walk through that loneliness, face that pain and grow deeper in our relationship with Jesus Christ, we spend time in his presence. Jesus modeled that for us because he regularly went off to spend time with his father. He calls us to follow his lead. Now solitude isn't sitting in a corner sulking, thinking, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms." But solitude creates space in our lives where we can be still, slow down, and listen. That's hard for me. Spiritual disciplines are about paying attention to the Holy Spirit through prayer, reflection, and studying scripture. These actions are intended to place us in God's presence so that we might be transformed from the inside out. Let me give you an example. If I'm feeling lonely rather than turning on one of the 200 channels I have to choose from to watch a TV show, I choose to spend time with God in his word. And if I sit still long enough, maybe I'll recognize that the loneliness is coming from this nine question I have. Does my life really matter? And I listen, and maybe God leads me to read Genesis 1, 26, and 27. We go back to the beginning. What is this deal all about anyway? Then God said, "Let us make human beings in our own image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock, and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God, he created them, male and female. He created them. Here's good news. God says, "My life does matter." Because he made me, and he made you in his image. That means the identity of all of us is grounded in who God is. Our image is grounded in who God is. He is founded in him and his character. And our purpose then is to reflect his image to the world that we live in. If I've got this kingdom assignment to help people in my life understand God's character more truly, more deeply, then I better get to know his character more deeply. So perhaps I read through the Psalms to learn more about who God is and get a picture of who I am. And then I pray, "Lord, show me where I'm failing to reflect you to the world around me. Help me understand the lies that I believe that keep me from doing what you've called me to do." And I find that time in God's presence unravels the lies that I might believe. And he helps me understand who I truly am in relationship with him. And then I can pray things like, "Lord, help me experience your compassion so I might be compassionate to my siblings when they're making me crazy." God, give me patience that I might show my parents your patience. I might pray, "Lord, help me remember your grace so that I can show my co-workers what grace looks like." You see, as we make space in our lives to engage solitude, we learn to live into what we are created for. Jesus wants to transform the way we think and act for his good purposes. And if we're crowding him out of our lives in an attempt to avoid the loneliness, we'll miss out on his limitless, kind, forgiving love. Being united with Christ also sets us in relationship with others. It's about embracing community. All people were created for relationship, right? Yes, we're supposed to engage solitude, but nobody is supposed to live life as a lone ranger. We need each other. We're set in families, choose friendships. We develop work relationships. We live in neighborhoods. We go to church. We join a team. Opportunities for community are all around us. So what do I mean by embracing community? Single adults need to develop and deepen extended friendships and family relationships for our growth and our well-being. Because the community around us also needs us for its growth and well-being. In Philippians 2, Paul is clear about our connection with others. He says, "Be like-minded, be loving, be one in spirit, and in mind, value others above yourself, look to the interests of others." But there's a challenge to embracing community. There's actually a couple challenges to embracing community. It's twofold. There's either independence or exclusion. Let me describe independence for you, right? Do things myself, two-year-olds, got it figured out. Hugh Grant's character in the movie About a Boy is kind of the pinnacle of what I think independence is all about. His motto is this. The thing is, a person's life is like a TV show. I was the star of The Will Show. The Will Show wasn't an ensemble drama. Guests came and went, but I was the regular. It came down to me, me alone. Will was an expert at Island Living until a boy named Marcus came into his life. Now independence isn't just self-centeredness, like wills. It could be self-centeredness, certainly. But independence is necessary to a certain degree, right? Like single people have to take care of life on their own. There's nobody knocking on my door saying, "Karen, can I take your garbage out for you?" There's nobody to share the work or clean the house or pay the bills or go grocery shopping or fix what breaks. So if you're single and you have kids, that only multiplies exponentially, doesn't it? We single people have to be independent or life would fall apart. And so as independence grows, it can become a hindrance to community. I get so used to taking care of the stuff of my life, I forget to ask for help from people when I need it. On the other side of that is exclusion. Being single in the Christian church culture can be hard. In my experience, I'll speak for me alone. More often than not, ministry priority is given to couples and families in church settings. Activities, sermon illustrations, conversations over coffee can alienate people rather than invite single people into the life of the church. One friend of mine told me about when she moved to a new city. She wanted to go to a church close to her home and she saw one down the street and it was called the Christian Family Church. So she called the pastor and said, "Tell me about your church and what's up with the name?" And he said, "Oh, we're about the family of God. So we've got people of all ages and we've got single people and married people there. Come on and join us on Sunday. It'll be great." So she showed up for church and discovered out of all the people gathered there, she was the only single person. It was the Christian Family Church. Whether subtle or overt, messages sent can make us single women and men feel like we don't belong or are invisible. And that's tragic as I think about it because half of the adults in the United States are single. What opportunity is the church missing out on to impact the lives of single adults in our country? And what opportunity is the church missing in being shaped by those people that haven't yet come into our doors? Whether relationships are stunted by independence or exclusion, we have responsibility to take initiative to respond by practicing hospitality. Now, when I say we respond to the challenge of community by practicing hospitality, I'm not saying that everybody needs to become Martha Stewart. But what I want you to think about is that hospitality is an attitude toward other people. It's creating space, getting rid of the things we get preoccupied with. It's creating space in our lives to welcome people in to relationship. A biblical example of hospitality to me is Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. There are three single siblings we read about in Scripture. They modeled the importance of community relationships. They opened their home to Jesus, to his disciples, to their neighbors. And as they did that, they built relationships for the kingdom's sake. You know, Jesus didn't pull any punches with them, so when they had a sister fight about a party they were hosting, Jesus was having to navigate them to help Mary and Martha understand what mattered most. And people got to learn from Jesus busting them in that context of community. Their friendships impacted neighbors and the religious community, because when Lazarus died lots of folks showed up for his funeral, didn't they? And their relationships invited people to see the love of God and the power of Jesus in a new way as Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. People began to understand the truth about God through their relationships. So community is a vital context for followers of Jesus as we discover our identity and live into God's purpose for our lives. We need each other. We're not independent, and we'll even learn the valuable lesson in this clip in About a Boy. We're going to watch a clip now. So listen, what's the deal with you and Ellie now? I'm going to shoot your girlfriend. Are you insane? When do you get those trainers? What's wrong with them? Nothing. What? By the way, I do think you won't have a shot, I mean, if that's screw it up. Thank you. I'd created a monster. Or maybe he'd created me. I don't know what Will was upset about. All I meant was, I don't think couples are the future. You need more than that. You need backup. The way I saw it, Will and I both had backup now. It's like that thing he told me John Bon Jovi said. No man is an island. So no man is an island. And Marcus was right. We do need backup. We need each other. And in Philippians 2, we discover the kind of community that Jesus calls us to. As Paul describes this common sharing, comfort, love, the Holy Spirit, tenderness, compassion, joy, like-minded goals, and taking care of one another. And when I sit with the scripture for a little bit, I think what a radical idea if the community really lived this out? What if the church was this? So everybody was just concerned about their neighbor's interest. What if I was just taking care of other people all the time? What would happen to me? Somebody's next to me. Taking care of my needs. And as we did that, everybody's needs would get met. It would be a remarkable kind of community to be a part of. Donald Miller describes developing relationships of community that Paul's talking about in his book, Blue Like Jazz. And he says this, "So much of what I know about getting along with people comes from hippies. They were magical in community. People were drawn to them. They asked me what I loved, what I hated, how I felt about this and that, what sort of music made me angry, what sort of music made me sad. They asked me what I daydreamed about where my favorite places in the world were. They loved me like a good novel. Like an art film. I did not feel fat or stupid or sloppily dressed. I did not feel like I did not know the Bible well enough and I was never conscious of what my hands were doing. Or whether or not I sounded immature when I talked. When I lost this self-consciousness, I gained so much more. I gained an interest in the people outside my own skin. Single women and men need to be intentional about building community. We've got to take initiative and practice hospitality like Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Whether our challenge is independence or exclusion or a little bit of both, we need to reach out to someone. Initiate lunch with a group of people from all stages of life. Join a small group, take a class, sign up for a sports tournament. And as we practice hospitality and create space for people in our lives, we're able to connect with others on a level that God intends to be drawn toward his good. I had an amazing experience of this kind of community when I lived in Colorado. As I worked at the Bible College and also as I got to know people through the church community I was involved in, it was amazing. We didn't worry about labels of who was married, who was divorced, who was single, who had kids who didn't. We were just a group of people that cared for each other and walked through life together. And sometimes it was really challenging, but it was also remarkable. Developing healthy community relationships takes time. I want to give a word of caution to single people, where gatherings are created for us to gather together. We need to be careful about talking about what we need and we need to be honest about what we need. I went to a church when I first moved back to Chicago because I heard they had some singles ministry and I thought maybe I'll make some friends there. And I showed up and they were doing an announcement about a big picnic they were having on Saturday night. And they said, "Everybody, 40 and over in your single come to this picnic." And I looked around the sanctuary and the church was filled with gray hair. I went, "Do 40 year olds really want to hang out at the 80s?" That just didn't seem like it was something that was going to work too well for me at least. Men, women, don't let a gathering of single adults turn into an opportunity for a meat market. You know what I mean when I say that. And don't let it turn into conversations about all our neediness. We need to be people who are pointing others toward the good. We need to be people who are caring for each other mutually. And allowing God to speak in and through our relationships. I have a question for married people too in the context of this building community thing. Married people, have you had a single adult or a few single people over to your house lately? The babysitter does not count. Finally, we live into this union with Christ and this connection to community by serving Christ and His kingdom. You see, God wants to work in us for His good purpose. Jesus calls us to follow Him. He's got something in mind for us as He wants us to participate in His work in the world. We have the amazing privilege to ask the question, "What does Jesus want to do in and through my life?" And I believe that the challenge to serving Christ and His kingdom is actually the fear of letting go of control and the fear of letting go of our dreams. It's pretty nice having freedom in our schedules, isn't it? It's nice to be able to figure out, "Oh, I'm going to do this this weekend and I'm going to do that next weekend. We can call the shots." But I think there's also a fear in submitting to Christ because we don't want to let go of the things that we long for in our future. I think you know what I mean, but I'll tell you a story about my life. In my early 30s, I started dating a friend of mine, Jerry. And I thought, "This is great. Finally, it's like somebody I know. We get along. He loves Jesus. He's fun. He's funny. He's tall. He's got a good job. He's open, honest, and supportive. Like this could really work. I'm like, "This is exciting." On our first date, he told me that he could probably marry a pastor, which I thought, "Oh, that's awesome. Might sound weird to some of you." But for me, it was good because I was finishing up seminary at the time. His family, like me, had an awkward moment with his dad. The first time we all had dinner together, I was trying to help clean up the table after dinner. And his dad said, "No, no, no, Karen. Sit here next to me and make out with me." I was like, "Oh, creepy." And everybody gasped and they said, "Dad, you can't say that to her." He said, "I just mean. I want to talk to her. I hope so." So we talked. But the longer we spent time together, I began to realize the depth of pain in Jerry's life. He told me lots of stories about his life, and so I knew where stuff was coming from. But there was a place inside of him that he was not able to surrender to Christ. And that pain affected our relationship. And now me not wanting to let go of my dream of being in a relationship or possibly getting married, I held on. I thought, "I can't bail on this guy. I need to help him walk through his pain." The more I tried to help, the more he resisted and pulled away. Deep down, I was uneasy. I knew this relationship shouldn't last. But holding onto my dream justified in my mind, staying together. Eventually, it fell apart. It was easy to see that we were both stuck in fear, which kept us both from surrendering to Christ and seeking his kingdom. So we broke up. It hurt. I moved. And letting go of what I thought the relationship could be, and letting go of trying to control the situation in our relationship, I was transformed. You see, I found that Jesus met me in my pain. He met me in my aloneness, and he comforted me with his love. He kind of picked me up and dusted me off and continued to help me walk down the path that he has for me. So the response to the challenge of the fear of letting go of control or dreams, whatever it is, is to actually just let go. It's to reflect on those things and name them and say, "Okay, Jesus, here it is. I've got to give it to you." And then the next response is to hold on, to hold on to Jesus. Because of that particular relationship, I learned to recognize fear when it still creeps up in me, and I can talk to Jesus about it, and I can invite him to speak truth to me. And I ask him for courage to help me to follow his lead rather than let fear be my guide. Holding on to fear, refusing to let go of control is kind of like hanging onto a toe rope when you're water skiing, and you've fallen down. That's not a good scene, is it, when you're like, with the water ski behind the boat, you're going to drink a lot of water. You're probably going to gag, and you might even lose your suit. Paul models for us what holding on and letting go looks like as he is changed by Christ. In Philippians chapter 3, he writes about his cellar past, his fine pedigree, all the things he's accomplished in his life, the way he's kind of managed his existence. And then he recognizes, when he comes face to face with Jesus, that he's got to let Jesus call the shots. And so he says in Philippians 3, 7, and 8, whatever gains to me, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ and be found in him. Serving Christ in his kingdom means we hold on to Jesus. As we let Jesus lead, we'll begin to see opportunities around us to show God's love to the world and bring glory to God with our lives. Single adults I've talked to about serving Christ tell me this, they say, "I'm so grateful for flexibility and my schedule, for the freedom I have to be able to go and do tangible acts of service." As I serve, I learn more about the amazing world God has created, more about the people he loves dearly, more about brokenness and healing, more about tragedy and hope. And I learn more about God's heart of love. Another friend has told me, "I acknowledge the freedom that I have and I hope people in my life will support me in submitting freedom to Christ for the good of others rather than trying to marry me off all the time." See, I believe that following Jesus takes us to incredible places in our neighborhood and to incredible places around the world, where he accomplishes far more than we could ask or imagine. Single women and men, you are loved. It is my prayer that we all continue to lean into the love of God when you're lonely and gauge solitude. When independence or exclusion isolates you, embrace community. When you fear letting go of control serve Christ in his kingdom. And along the way, you'll discover God working in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Amen. Would you pray with me? God in heaven, I give you great thanks for a chance to be together, to gathering your presence and to worship you, to open your word and to let you speak into our hearts and our lives. And I pray now, Lord, that you would help us understand how you want us to live into this love that you've called us to. Jesus, I pray that you would give us courage when fear strikes. I pray that you would give us eyes to see needs around us that we can meet. Show us what true community looks like. God, thank you for this church. Thank you for its ministry and, Lord, which you continue to work and move through the power of your Holy Spirit. I pray all these things in Jesus' name. Amen.