MCC Podcasts
Proper Care for Widows and the Least of These
I'm one of the pastors here on staff and super honored to get to be with you this morning. I love reality TV. And not the trashy stuff like real housewives of some major city. I like this really good stuff, the high quality, the bachelorette, and the bachelorette, he so deserves to pick out of 100 beautiful women. So if you're not watching that show, you've got to get in on that. But because I love reality television, and I love living in the real world like those shows show off, one of the shows that you just cannot escape, especially this time of year, this time every four years, is the reality television that's happening on the cable networks. I don't know if you're a political person or where you land on the political spectrum, but man, if you swing by Fox News, CNN, Comedy Central, MSNBC, whatever, any of those out there, HGTV, no, I just love that show. But if you swing by one of those stations and you were like, wow, there's some crazy reality TV going on. Just like they do for the bachelorette, they put everyone in a dark room and they shine a big light on them and then they go, now fight! And they do! And it's super incredible. But if you've been watching it all over the last couple of weeks, you'll know that Mitt Romney, a video came out and he kind of got in it. He was at a fundraiser and he said something about the 47%. And truthfully, I wish I could say, I know what it was because I don't because unfortunately all the news just takes one snippet and then says, now fight! And then you're like, that's not really helping me understand the issues, but I'm all excited and ready to fight and blow up all my neighbors and friends. And I'm sure you've, no matter where you're at politically, it's hard and hard to have decent discussion and dialogue and debate because no one wants to debate. Here's my spot and then I'm going to beat you in the mouth and tell you land where I land or you're not my friend anymore. And this reminds me about six months ago, I had a conversation with my uncle and we could not be farther on the political spectrum. And he sits me down and he's just like, I don't know what to do with you because I like you and you don't seem like the spawn of Satan, but yet everything that you believe politically means that you're the spawn of Satan. And I'm like, well, that's interesting because I love you and everything I know about you, but you don't seem like the spawn of Satan either. And we end up having this really great dialogue because what we came to when we actually dialogue about the issues, we realize there's a bunch of issues going on in this election, but one of the main ones is we as a society have said yes. We want to care for the weakest and poorest among us. We want to have a safe net. No one should just die on the side of the road. We don't want to be that society. We need to have some sort of way in which people are cared for and as a government, we said we want to do that. But the deal is, the issue is, no matter where you're at in the political spectrum, every normal elected official, and every mostly normal person I've come in contact with affirms that we as a culture need to care for the weakest and poor among us. The issue, the political divide when you're not screaming at each other seems to be, what's the policy? Where's the right place to put the policy line to care for on one hand the weakest and poor among us? And on the other hand, to deal with the reality that we have limited resources at our disposal. Because of those two realities, we live in this tension and we have some hard decisions to make. And there's all sorts of fun melodrama that happens during the election season, which we'll talk about more for sure later. But what I thought was interesting is we approach God's word today, and what we're going to see in Paul's letter to Timothy, is there's this exact same wrestling that the church in Ephesus that Timothy was pastoring wrestled with. On one hand, we want to be God's people. Timothy wants to pastor a church where God's heart is cared for, where the poorest and neediest among them are cared for. But yet there's this reality that we're just us. Like we only have so many resources among us, so how do we do that? And we're going to see from God's word kind of how they dealt with it in their context, and then we'll try to extrapolate from there what in the world we're supposed to do with that. And then we'll see where we land. How about that? Okay, but if you'd pray with me, and then I have to Bible turn to 1 Timothy chapter 5, and we'll get after it. Heavenly Father, I thank you so much that you love us and that you have called us to be in relationship with your son. I thank you that we live in a context that at least on paper loves and cares for the weakest among us. And I pray that we would not fight so much as trying to understand that and we would not stay or type and dehumanize one another as we wrestle through these issues. That's a sidebar. But as we come to your word, God, I pray that we would hear from your word that we would not think about what your word has to say about somebody else. Because we know how great we are to flying your word to somebody else. I pray that we'd be open to your Holy Spirit, that you would teach us, that you would instruct us, that you'd be gracious with us with your text this morning, which I think is a challenging text. And that we'd be changed people who would give you honor and glory because of it. And all of God's kids said, Amen. So if you have a Bible turn to 1 Timothy chapter 5, and we're going to read verses 3 through 10, and it says this. Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents. For this is pleasing to God. The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. Give the people these instructions so that no one may be open to blame, and anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially for their immediate family members has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over 60, has been faithful to her husband and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of God's people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good zeds. All right, God, may you speak to us this morning through your word. Now what's interesting is we look in this passage of 1 Timothy, we realize this is kind of the last couple chapters of the kind of housekeeping, like the nuts and bolts. Now what are we going to do with these situations among us? And just like we're finding in our context, in their specific church context, they were realizing as a church we want to care for these people, but we have limited resources on how in the world are we going to do that. And just so you know, as we go through this, when we study God's Word, we want to understand what in the world was God saying through God's Word to those people in that moment, in that time, in that place. And this is a letter from Paul to Timothy dealing specifically about widows and how we're going to pay for them and care for them. And I think as we wrestle with God's Word, we want to understand that, and then we want to wrestle with what are some of the larger principles and issues that are going to be relevant to us. And so as you'll see as I go through this sermon, I'm going to kind of use the words widows, poor orphans, the least of these, all kind of interchangeably because in their context, the widows were the bottom run of society. They were people who no longer had family relations or connections, no means of income or support, and they were truly destitute, and it was on the church to care for them. And so as we look more into our context, we wrestle with this, you'll notice I'm going to use those words interchangeably, just so you know I'm not crazy, or I didn't forget, that's intentional, and then we'll wrestle with them, how in the world we're going to deal with that in a practical way. But the first point is, and how are we going to care for widows, as well as the least of these, we need to understand that the very DNA of God, the very heart of God revealed in Scripture from day one, all the way until the very end of revelations, the heartbeat of God is for the poor, for the destitute, for the fringe, for the alien, for the foreigner, for those outside, like he is forever for the underdog. He hates the people in the center who have it all together, and I'm awesome, check me out, he's like you guys are idiots, and those guys get ripped on all throughout Scripture, and God is continually asking his people to say look out for the people in the fringe, for the poor, for the destitute, for the foreigner. And I also want to share with you a couple of Scriptures, I looked this up and there was hundreds and hundreds of Scriptures, so I just picked my favorite, like we always do when we study Scripture. Sorry, that was not a good joke, I guess. Okay, but these are a couple that I feel like give us a good picture of all Scripture. Deuteronomy 10, 18 says this, "He defends the cause of the fatherless in the widow, and he loves the foreigner residing among you, give them food and clothing." Deuteronomy 15, 11, he says, "For there will never cease to be poor in the land, therefore I command you. You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy, and to the poor in the land." Malachi 3.5 says, "Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I'll be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely. I love when God lays down against the sorcerers, I'm all about that." But then he goes on and says, "And against those who oppress the hired worker for his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who trust, who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me," says the Lord of Hosts. In Matthew 25, verse 37 to 40, Jesus has given us parable the sheeps and the goats, and he's talking about, "Whatever you do for the least of these, you actually do for Jesus." Paul, who often gets blown up from not caring for the poor, he teaches us all the good stuff, and it's Jesus who cared for the poor. Jesus, when Paul encountered Christ and began his ministry, and he goes back to Jerusalem to meet with the disciples, this was his takeaway. He said, "All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do, the very thing that's in the heart of God that's lived out from people who are brand new Christians from Paul, brand new Christians ready to go and share the gospel." Well, remembering the poor was right there in it, and then James 1.27 says, "That religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the father is this, to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world." And the deal is that caring for the least of these, working this out, seeing and loving the poor, the widows, the foreigners, the aliens, the outcast, that is the very heart of God. Did you hear that language? I command you to blah, blah. I judgement to what, you know, like it's big time stuff that this is the heartbeat of God. And so the deal is the church that in Ephesus that Timothy is wrestling with, he says, "Okay, I'm the pastor of this church. I love scripture. I love God." And obviously my heart is to care for the poorest among us, the widows among us, and how are we to do this? Because once you have your nurse, once you open up your wall and say, "All right, I'm going to start helping the poor. I'm poor. I'm definitely poorer than that person. I'm poor than that person." And all of a sudden, I'm out of money, and the people who really need it don't have it. And so Paul is sending this letter to Timothy to help him. Part is to help him figure out here is the heartbeat of God. But there's also this policy. There's these policies that kind of need to get in place, these benchmarks to help figure out who gets cared for. And you see, because the deal is, Timothy needs to figure out who is in need. He has limited resources. And so what's he going to do? And you see in verse 9 it says, "So now the widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is." And then it goes on. But here's the deal. There's a widow, which is your status. Like if you're married and then your husband died, then you're a widow. Like that's what the definition says. But if you were a woman and your husband abandons you, then you're a widow, technically. I mean, well, less technically, but you're on this list. But then if you're in need, then you're on this other list. So just because you're a woman and just because your husband passed away or left you, doesn't necessarily mean that you were there for entitled to the church's money. And so Paul comes up with this really strict policy and he lays it down. He says, "If you want to not just be a widow, but be on the list of widows, this is the deal. You have to be over 60. You have to be faithful to your husband. You have to be well known for your good deeds. You have to have brought up good kids. You have to show hospitality. You should serve God's people by washing the saints' feet and to help those in trouble and devote yourselves to all kind of good deeds." And if you can go check, check, check, check, check, check, and now I'm all alone in destitute. Then you're one of the people that you should be on the list for caring for. And we think over 60, that's awesome. Art keeps telling me 60 is the new 30. And it is true. 60 is also, you know, is different depending on our culture. And back then, you know, most people died in 40, 45, kind of in that ballpark. And so if you were 60, that was the end. I mean, that was the end season of your life. And now you guys are just starting to get good at golf and get after it. And art's not even close to retirement yet. So, but that's the deal. So if you, if you satisfied all these requirements, then you were somebody that was willing, that would be cared for. But here's the other one that Paul lays down. He says, "But if you are as a family, if you have family, then it's on them. It is on your family to care for you." So those are between those two things. Because what happens is if you take all the widows in this context, and you take all the widows who were being cared for and had family that could care for them, you take them and all the people who were just kind of like, you know, out of control and under 60 and could marry again, and you take them away, now you have this manageable, reasonable group of people that you could care for. And that's the whole point of why there's certain policies that lay it down. But so the steal is that the second one is how in the world, who are the families that are supposed to care for this widow? And what I think is interesting is every culture in every context, no matter what religious background they're from, cares for the elderly among them. Every culture does. And at first I was like, we have such a good culture. You know, we have social security and welfare, and so we look at us how we do this. But as I studied, I realized every culture and every time all throughout history cared for their parents. That was part of the DNA of the culture. And what I've realized is, unfortunately, that there's this kind of like secular humanistic thread in our society that has actually impacted me. And what that means is that basically there's this thread of our society that kind of takes the overarching religious ideas, overarching cultural ideas, and says, if you don't matter to me, if you're not of use to me anymore, then you should be discarded. And I know this is sunken even a little bit, because sometimes my sister and I will go on a road trip with my mom, and we'll think, oh, we should just leave my mom at the rest stop, you know, she's getting old, and we should just let her go. Give her five bucks, and you know, she'll wander off. And she gets all offended, but truthfully, she's been telling us stories since we were kids about some mythological Indian tribe that when the old people would be like cats and they would kind of wander off. And so my sister and I have kind of, we've taken that to heart, we said, whoa, if that's what you want. So every now and then, we'll hit I5 and be like, maybe Kebelman City is your spot, you know? And we drop her off. But I'm like, is that really true? Are there really cultures and societies that just drop their old people off at rest stops? Like, my sister and I want to do? Because if I can get enough, you know, enough, what am I trying to say? Facts behind mine, we might do that. And I came across these two different examples. One, there's these nomadic tribes in Africa, and they would. There would be some times where because of severe famine or drought, they couldn't care for the oldest and weakest among them, and they would have to move on and leave their area to go and find food and water, and they would have to leave the eldest among them. But it wasn't like, hey, this is your year to stay behind. It wasn't like that. They would always try to carry the old people and bring them with you. But it's very worse at the last possible, there's no other chance they would do that. The other example is the Eskimos, and what they would do is they would take their old people out on ice drifts, break off a piece of ice. God bless you, mom. It was their version of Kebelman City, and they would send them off into the ocean, and then they would move on. But the deal is, like the nomadic tribes, that was a totally severe example because every culture and every time from the beginning of time cared for their old people. And it's kind of scary and sad that our culture right now and the debates that we're having as a society are pretty much, we're like the only culture in the entire world history that's like, yeah, you're old enough and we're going to discard you and we're going to find ways to kind of make you go away because you're a drain on us. Like the fact that those are the questions that we're wrestling with the culture should shock us and be scary, but that's not the point of the sermon. But I just throw that out because the deal is, it is on not just the Christian, but the human, the human's job is to care for their parents. It goes on to say in verse 8, anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially for their immediate family members has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Because the given was even the unbelievers, even the pagans, even people who could care less about God, they care about their parents. In James chapter 3 verse 14, Jesus says, "It's basically you're considering denying the truth if that's the case." In Jude 4, he compares it to denying Jesus Christ himself. And in 1 Corinthians chapter 5, Paul again says, "It is a sin that's not even found among the pagans." That caring for your parents is God's call for you. And if we are going to be the church, if we are going to grow mature and walk with God, we've got to do Bible studies, we've got to go to worship, we've got to pray, we've got to do all these little things that are right, that's true. But at the end of the day, if we're writing our parents off, if we're writing off the weakest and poorest among us, then we have totally missed it. We have totally missed it and we're lying to ourselves. And so the practical reality is that we must, we must care for the orphans and widows and the poorest among us, and specifically for our parents. Even Scripture says, "Your parents sacrificed tons for you, and on the end of their life it is on us to care for them." I don't know where I found this quote, but it's basically, "Your parents are really cool before you came along, and I never got what that meant until I look at all my friends and our kids, and we're like, I'm so tired all the time." But now that Jeff Niles gets all gone, you're back to being cool, so I like that, good job, that's for you. But the deal is they, our parents, good or ill, they got us, they start our life, and it's on us at the end. So the deal is we care for the widows among us because A, it reflects the heart of God. But B, there has to be some sort of policy in place, and the policy that we want to emplace is this balance between grace and truth. And the reason why we get in such heated debates politically is because there's these people very far away from our context, making decisions for 300 million people, and it is so hard to do that, because you have to have a policy. But the deal is with the church, what the church brings to the table is that we are God's people. We have been given the Holy Spirit, and we get to use this wisdom and discernment because we want to be like Christ, and we want to be full of grace and full of truth. So that means we want to be as generous as possible. If we have time and money and resources at our disposal, we should be as generous as possible. We want to be as gracious as possible. We want to find every opportunity to say yes to give of our money, of our time, and our resources as much as possible. But we also live in this reality that we have limited resources, and so we do need to have truth. We do need to have policies. We do need to find some way in which we say we can give money to this person, and we can't give money to this person. Or we can give resources to this person, and not to that person. And the deal is it's overwhelming, and if we get so black and white, cut and dry, and draw the policy, what about the poor 59-year-old woman who is paralyzed from her way down? Sorry, I didn't say about paralyzed, but you're 59, maybe next year, right? That's not the heart of God. The heart of God is to be full of grace, to be full of truth. And the deal is that we have to be people who are wise and discerning, and own our own stuff, so we're not making decisions based full of truth. We don't have to deal with people, or that we're being so gracious that we're actually getting people in more and more trouble. So, that's it. Pretty good. First Timothy, chapter 5, the care of widows. Yeah. So, when you study scripture, you think, "How in the world are we going to do this?" It's about Paul and Timothy and widows from 1st century Ephesus. Great. And that makes sense. I could see myself caring for the poor among us, and we should have policies, and great. But like always, when we study God's Word, we don't just go, "That's neat. That's interesting." We have to rest with God. What actually do you have to say to me through your Word? And I'm not going to lie, this was a hard passage of scripture for me to wrestle with, and my mom's not even that old yet, but it still was a hard passage for me to wrestle with. I just just want to share with you, four of the things that I feel like God has been nudging me towards and refining me and thinking, "If I'm going to actually live into this, how do I do that better?" And maybe one of these will be applicable to you. So, the first thing, what's the practical takeaway of how in the world are we going to care for widows? In a very real sense, verse 3 says, "We must give proper honor to the widows among us." Tim, Paul's talking about caring for them monetarily, but I think in our culture, in our context, the old, the elderly, the widows, man, that you're bothering me, you're talking too much, and we kind of disregard them, and you would never say that out loud. But think about how we shelter our lives, and we push people to the fringe of our touch points. And I think this passage of scripture says, "We must give proper honor to the widows among us." I mean, can you imagine, I've only been married for 15 years, and I couldn't even imagine if Katie were to die, or to leave me, or to move away, to think all of the conversations, all of the life that I have with Katie, you think, "Now I have to do this all by myself." That's incredibly heartbreaking and lonely, and if we as the church go, "Huh, you're fine," no, it is lonely. You cannot even imagine how lonely that is. I cannot even imagine how lonely that is, and if we are the church, we must put on the clothing of Christ to be empathetic and compassionate and make space to listen. Listen about jeopardy, whatever, whatever they want to talk about, that's just my grandma. But you know, we have people in our life who just need space. They need to be heard. They need to be acknowledged that they are valuable members of society. We are not waiting for them to die. They deserve to be shown proper honor and recognition. So a takeaway, I think, is just simply that we need to make space in our lives for our aging parents, for the elderly among us, for the widows among us, for the women and men who have been married. And women and men who have been abandoned, who are alone, and think we need to make space to be God's very hands, feet, heart, ears, whatever that person needs to be for them. The second is, I think we have to give generously to those in need. We must be in the habit. If we are followers of Christ, then we need to continue to develop the heart of God, which is to be gracious and generous with our resources. Sometimes there's people in our lives, and we can give space and time in our vehicles to move them. We can help with whatever issues that come up that we can, that they need. We need to be people who are generous with our resources for that. Sometimes we just happen to not be in a season of life or a context where we rub shoulders with a lot of those people. Well, our church has a benevolence fund. The very first of the month, you know, they hold up, "Here's the benevolence fund, give your tithes and offerings, and then the benevolence fund." The benevolence fund is basically like this slush fund that us pastors have to say, "How do we as a church care for the needs of those around us?" And we get all sorts of crazy and weird requests. And we as a pastoral team try to live in this balance of discernment of living in grace and truth in the go. We want to be as generous as possible, but we can't just give away all this money. And sometimes we're like, "Yes, we can. Let's give it all away." And sometimes we're like, "Well, we got to stick to the policy, and that's going to help us." But the deal is our church is so generous that it is so rare that we have to think, "Do we have money in the benevolence fund?" We always have money in the benevolence fund, because there are some people who are so committed to having that as a resource. And if that's not part of your regular giving, I would encourage you to do that, because more and more people are in dire and dire needs. And it is such a gift that we as the church get to say, "Here's how we do it." It may not have been how Paul and Timothy did it, but it's how our church does it, and it works, and we care for them, and the stories that surround all that are super encouraging. So thank you for being a part of that, and don't just go, "What's that weird envelope? Be a part of that." The third thing is, and this is really hard, I think, but this is this awful reality. Here's the deal. You need to hear, and this is a straight punch to the mouth from God through His Word that you cannot dodge a bullet on. If you are a human, but even more so, if you claim to be a follower of Christ, it is on you to care for your family. It is your responsibility to care for your parents as they get old, and as they get ready to meet Jesus. And there's no wiggle room, like, "My mom was really mean to me. My dad was awful to me. I know." And not you, mom. You're perfect. But we all have different reasons of why we can check that off, but it is on us. It is our calling as mature Christians to love and care for our parents as they get old and get ready to meet with Jesus. And I cannot tell you how honored I am to be a part of a church where there are mature saints who get after this and who practice this. The Priscus, John, and Anna are getting so close to meeting Jesus. It means so close. And I am humbled and awed to be friends with Stacey and her sisters as they have shut down their lives and are faithfully going to the hospital and sitting with their dad, sitting with their mom. And for this six months, two months, one week, however long it takes, are caring for their parents who have given them everything. And now it is their turn to care for them. And I am humbled and awed. And there's nothing easy about that process. And for us to think it is, it takes maturity and depth of character, the kind that I hope to have someday. But the fact that there's those people around us is amazing. My friend Susie did the same thing. She flew her mom out from Hawaii and lived with her and cared for her. And what is so amazing, both for Susie and Stacey, neither of them, have said, "Oh, my parents are getting old. I'm shutting it down and I'm going to grieve now." Both of them faithfully love to the very end. And Stacey is still loving to the very end. To the point that when it's over, a whole new patch of grieving needs to happen. And how cool that we as a church rub shoulders with people who have not written off their elderly parents but who are getting after it. And it is humbling to watch and I'm honored to know you guys and our church is honored to know you as well. And it is the highest calling that we can be. If we do everything else right and we blow off our parents, we have denied the faith. And that is a hard, hard word. Sorry about that. And the last one, some of us don't really rub shoulders with people in those situations. And so how in the world do we deal with this? And the last point is simply that we must guard our heart. That if this debate, if how we use our resources as a church, if even in the political debate disease goes around and we just keep making each other caricatures, we have to guard our heart. Because what happens is we kind of fall into two camps. One is we just become cynical. And we think the second I open up my wallet, all of my needy friends and needy sister and any of you, everyone else is going to come around and is going to come take all my resources in. And I know they can work or whatever. And we get cynical and we write people off. But we cannot be cynical people. We have to live in this tension of grace and truth. We have to be generous to the point that it hurts. I love that our church has this ministry called open table because it is not just, oh, it's just this person, pull them up by their bootstraps, right? The second you actually spend time with someone who is messed up financially or with someone nearing the end of their life, it is not the simple thing. It is costly. And it takes so much, it takes the body to figure it out and to walk alongside them. And if we can get close to them, our heart will not go cynical. And so if we find ourselves treating all these debates as just simple debates, kind of like strawman debates and we have missed it and our heart has become cynical. And on the other end of the spectrum, and this happens mostly with my college kids, never with any of my peers, but what happens is there's this idea of we get self-righteous. I believe in the right thing policy-wise. I think the church is really messing it with what they're doing financially. We hold this self-righteous position. And especially our college friends, who there's parents are paying them for going to college. They have their five-hour-a-week job at Starbucks, so they're really working hard. But they are so opinionated about what should happen with the church's money, with the government's money. And they get kind of the self-righteousness about it. And we cannot be that way either. If we're just become self-righteous, we need to actually spend some time with people who are in need. And as we start shoveling out our money day in and day out into this abyss because it doesn't get fixed, all of a sudden we realize, oh, maybe there does need to be some sort of policy, some sort of parameters, and we need to figure that out. And so if we're in a season of life where we don't have any touch points with this, we must guard our heart. We cannot be cynical. We cannot be self-righteous. We need to be people who are firmly living in the heartbeat of God, which is so for the poor, the elderly, the foreigners, the oppressed, the outcast. That is God's heart. And we need to live with wisdom and discernment to find the best possible way to care for that person. And sometimes it's a policy. Sometimes it's saying no. We have to have wisdom and discernment in that. And as we move forward, I'm thankful to be a part of a church that the overall rhythm of our church are people trying to work this out. And those were, like I said, just four things that I felt like God is messing me up with as I wrestle with the Scripture. And I just want to give you a little space for the Holy Spirit to maybe, maybe it's one of those four things, maybe it's something totally unrelated. But we need to be people who are open to the Spirit of God, to make space for the Spirit of God, to mold us, to shape us, and to refine us. So whatever that is, may God have at us. Let me open us to some time of silence, and then we'll see. Holy Spirit, we ask that you would come and speak to our hearts. You come to your Word. We have wrestled with what it means. And now help us figure out how to take that into our actual real lives, in our actual real conversations, into our actual real relationships. Let us not shy away from what you might say to us this morning. [ Silence ]