(upbeat music) - Hello everyone and welcome back to another installment of The Viral Podcast. I'm your host, Chelsea Lynn. I'm your host, Paige Jen. Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen. - Malt Steaks baby, welcome back to another week. Can everyone hear me fine? - Yeah, can you hear yourself? - Yeah, it sounds a little muffled but I think it's my earphones, it's all right. - We should have taken care of that before we start. - I know, that's on me, that's on me. - That's on you, boo boo. - That's on me. - Well, sometimes your ears just work differently. - Right, right. Can we touch on, I have a surprise for you guys. - What is it? - Well, you'll see. But can we touch on something that you said right before we hit play? - Let's touch on it. - He said, she said, Brett's coming off his mustache. - Well, this has been for months 'cause-- - Paige said a year. - It's the first time hearing of it. - No, 'cause he's had the mustache for a while now and you know, Brett needs more surprises 'cause he loves when people give him, "Oh, I love your mustache or I love your hair." And if that dies down, I feel like he's like, "Oh, I need to do a big shocking thing." - It's died down too. - So it's died down so now he wants to melt choppy. - So what do you want to do, Brett? - I was just gonna snip it off somehow for a video. Yeah, just track the growth, too. - What if it doesn't grow back? - Yeah, really. - Yeah, it's kind of like the only thing that really just takes too much of my time, I feel. - And we all, man, what a problem to have. What are you gonna do with all that time, Brett? - Oh man, all that time. - So many more things, dude. Like, it's like a, you know, I have to like keep checking on it, you know, just to make sure it's not bent. - Wait. - We gotta touch on one more thing since we're already on. - Why don't you touch my Brett? - Push it. - Oh. - Timer. - Timer. - The timer's on and we can say pussy. - Pussy. - I said puffy. - So, Brett has a new name and it is Bill because he did not pay the water bill. - This is a new development. There's free water out there for everybody. If you're one, you don't have to pay. - Hey, Bill, why don't you pay the water bill? - So I thought it was on automatic pay. Yeah. - Okay. - And then I was out fixing the AC in the car. And then I get a call from Paige saying that there's no water in the house, so I'm like, fuck. - I bet you were mad. - Yeah, cars still not fixed. And then also I haven't told you this, but during Tammy Banks filming it, our house got, I guess, hit by, not hit by lightning, but really close. And all of our lights, well, like half of them fricking aren't working. - Yeah. - The bulbs or in general? - The sockets, yeah. - Well, just that lights. - They got lights. - Well, Brett's been trying to call, they say, "Oh, we'll call you back," and then they don't. So it's like they're playing phone calls, but telephonic. - Holy hell. - Yeah. And we haven't really kind of been home to... - Brett, we have been home. You're just late. - You have been home, Brett. - Oh, you've been his home. - I know, I'm like, where you been? - Him and his dad, yeah. Him and his dad went to every single baseball game there was, so yeah. - Yeah, Nashville sounds. - Priorities. - And then he came back home. - Yeah, priorities. - Yeah. - Every night. - Whenever I could fix it, I, you know, like she said, I called and they just had, they never called back, so I got to call them again. You know, you can do that thing where you can either wait or they'll call you back. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Brett, just do better. - Brett and keep calling them. - Yeah, I'm gonna call them. - Okay. - All right, well, I have a surprise for you guys. Something I've been working on for, you know, a few weeks now, and I wanted to surprise you guys. Now, I got you all some t-shirts. Now, y'all can, we'll divvy up sizes. We'll get you the correct sizes and all that. Brett, we're gonna tell them to grab these. I need to take them to even Maggie. - You love surprises. - I do. - I feel like you're a school teacher. - Really? - Yeah, you're a school teacher, but-- - So, yeah. - Don't open that yet, but that one, that one's yours. Take-- - Brett, get out of my camera, friend. - I know, what are you doing? - Go, Brett. - Er, bye. - Go. All right, and we're gonna open on the count of three. - Okay, I'm nervous. I'm nervous. - Not to be nervous about it. I just like surprising y'all. Ready? One, two, three. - Oh, boy. - Ha, ha, ha, ha. Woo hoo. - Mosty. - This is so cute. - Mosty. - Mosty. - This is tight. - Chelsea. - King size. - Chelsea. - Thank you so much. - Endless flavor, endless fun. - Mosty. - It smells like vinegar. - Creamy and smooth. - The viral podcast, and we have them in little. We have big, that takes up the whole t-shirt or little on the pocket, so. - Do they come in white? - Cute. - I don't know. - I can figure that out. I don't know. - I'd love a big one in white. - I just ordered them in black, but I guess we could. - These are cute. - So by the time this pod comes out, this is a new t-shirt. - Oh, we're putting these on the site. - For a limited time. - Hell yeah, let's go. - Mount Sticks, baby. - Mount Sticks, baby. - And while you're at it, don't forget those monthly merch stubs by the way. - Well, this is one. - I love that. - Go to thevourpodcast.co and limit your time only and get your malt sticks. - Y'all like them? - Hell yeah, these are so cute. - Those are cute. - Love them. - Thank you. - Creamy. - The guy I worked on with him, the first draft he sent me, he had the Vour podcast real big on it with malt sticks real little. I go, I go, we gotta reverse it. - Yeah, we need. - We want the malt sticks big. - Uh-huh, 'cause it's Sticks. - malt sticks. - It's Sticks. - Mount Sticky. - Mount Sticky. - Gosh, and the malt icky. - I love that. - And malt icky. - So how does the timer up? - I feel like we haven't sworn so long and I've already sworn a couple times. - We still got four minutes. - Four minutes. - Hey, thank you everyone for being here. It's just crazy that you're here, you know? - Yeah, we still can't believe we have a podcast. So thank you guys for listening and sharing and subscribing and all that stuff. We appreciate you guys. - I feel something in the house. - I wanted to share one thing people need to make sure they do is not have their toilet running 'cause you might have a $700 water bill. - Oh yeah, that's what brought up the bill. - When we were out of town for a while, Brett was home alone and racked up a $700 water bill. I guess he left the water on for 10 days straight. - What'd you leave it on? - Well, I was home alone, you know, I can't hear. The toilet was just running for 10 days straight. - How do you leave the toilet running? - Sometimes I just get stuck. - Oh, and you just- - And it just runs. - Is your toilet bowl running? Well, you better make sure that flapper shuts. - Brett, did you pay it? - Well, I got my money reimbursed, whatever. - Oh, yeah. 'Cause there was such a huge discrepancy. So it's usually like 35 bucks. - Yeah. And they were like, "Whoa, what happened here?" - Yeah. - And you were like, "I just deep cleaned my house." - I'm like, "I just can't hear that good." - But he does leave the water on all the time. He sits in front of the mirror and keeps the water running. What do you think about that? - I've seen him. So he will sit in front of the- - The mirror. - The mirror, water running, sink running, and he'll just be looking, twisting his mustache. - Not using the water. - Not using the water. - Yeah, she actually thought I was showering for 10 days straight. - But I just- - So he was running for 10 days. - 'Cause now, like every second I'm going, "Hey, water, water, what are you doing?" - Brett, you gotta turn the water off. - I feel like a mom. - Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause my mom used to be at me for- Oh, dang, I just went. - Oh, man, we got two minutes. Brett, what's your defense on that? - Well, it's just because I couldn't hear. You know, I flush the toilet, and then it runs. - No, no, no, the sink is one foot in front of you. You can't hear it on? When you have it on. - Oh, I don't do that. Yeah. - I've seen you do it. - Whoa, I might have done it like a couple times, but I don't like to leave it running. - God bless him. Do you, how do you wash your dishes? - I have a dishwasher, but I'm a by hand person. 'Cause I don't let dishes pile up. So if there's like three or four dishes in there, I'll quickly give them a hand clean. - But you don't keep water in the side of the sink and let them like, you don't throw them in there and then... - No, I only let things soak if they need to be soaked. Or if I know like, if there's like a crusty fork and I'm like, hey, this is gonna take some elbow grease to get up, I'll soak it. - If you hit your badge with it. - Right. I'll soak it. - When I was doing your dishes last night, I was washing all your forks extra. Well, all the forks that I use are up in my bedroom by my bedside table. So I use them for a while. I don't use a fork, scratch my badge and then put it in the sink. If I have that fork, I'll keep it. But also I have scratchers that I be using. - And you have to return the forks back? - I mean, every once in a while, I will, but I keep it for a while. The one I've had up in my bed has been there for like months. - Frosty. - Well, I'm not scraping cream. I'm not scraping my hole in the inside. It's usually like kind of the taint area. I'll scratch your lid. - Tear me up. - Yeah. - Do you ever smell it? - Yes. It's not, not every time it's sometimes. - And? - Usually it's fine. Sometimes it's a little vinegary. (laughing) - The kind of mustard. - Like a mustardy. - That's why I love it. - A dijon. - Mustard. - I love that smell. - Most of the time it's-- - I love that name, dijon. - Most of the time it's fine, but sometimes I'm like, ooh, gotta get drunk in the shower. - I just feel like dudes love nasty pussy smells. - Some do. - Some do. - A lot of-- - You crave it. - Yeah, she'll say it's like nasty. (laughing) - It may not be crave. - It smells like can of sardines, but if it smells like a pussy supposed to smell, I think a lot of dudes like that. (bell ringing) - Fuck you! - Fuck you! - Fuck you! - Fuck you! - And if you don't like the way you pussy smell, fuck you! - Fuck you! - Hey, motherfucker, hey, Brett. - Fuck you! - Fuck you! - If you leave the water on for 10 days, fuck you! - Fuck you! - Fuck you! - If you say you've been paying the water bill, but haven't been, fuck you! - If you thought bill was automated, but it wasn't, fuck you! - If you were lying to me for a year straight, fuck you! - Hey, I was doing research, there's free water out there. You don't have to pay. - Here's another gas. - Another gasie. - Just letting everybody know. - Yes, gas, another gasie. - I think once it got to-- So there was like a $1,000 bill, and I was like, "Oh damn, we haven't paid it all year. "I might as well just pay it." And then I looked at the bill and I was like, "What the fuck, there's $700?" - Mm-hmm, for one month. - Damn. - Damn. - All right. - Hey. - Bill. - You were cutting onions? - Yeah. - And I posted a picture of you 'cause your eyes were crying, and somebody said, "If you put a bowl of water--" - Yeah, or a paper to set-- - Is that true? - A wet rim child, yes. - So what do you do? - It soaks up the stuff that makes you cry. Is it like a bowl of water or like a wet rag beside the onion? But I usually don't cry during onions, or very rare. I was fine, they needed to calm down. - Oh, okay. Well, I put cotton onions on the caption, and they just said that remedy. And I was like, "Huh, I wonder if it's true." - Uh-huh, I have heard that, yes. - I've seen people wear goggles. - Yeah, that's a bit much, I don't do that. - I would never do that. - I've had onions make my nose bleed before. - Whoa. - 'Cause they're so strong. - What the hell? - You get nose bleeds a lot, huh? - Not really. - That's bad, that's bad. - That does. - Huh? - That's wild, I don't like, never. - She be bald lady. Sometimes whenever I cut onions, my nose will start bleeding. - That's wild. - What the hell? - Mm-hmm. - I would say this, I cut onions on a regular basis, on a normal basis, I keep onions, I cut onions. I would say 99% of the time when I cut onions, I'm 100% fine. - Sometimes I'm crying, yeah. - Every once in a while I'll be crying, but it's rare. - Maybe they need to make the vents that blow up, blow down. - For onion. - For onions. - Yeah, that's smart. - Yeah. - That's really smart. I hear the dogs up there bark, yeah. - Which leads me into something, one more thing. The vents above the, were you shit? - Yeah, not true. - How are you supposed to clean those, 'cause those get so nasty? - I ain't never worried about that. - Oh my gosh. - If you don't look at 'em to know they're dirty, you ain't gotta clean 'em. - Hmm, maybe like a little duster? - Yeah. - I don't want that shit falling on my head, so I was like, how do they clean this? - Just dust going up there. - When, no, it's starting to look brown, like shit particles almost. - In your bathroom? - In my guest bathroom. - I never saw that. I've never looked at a bathroom event and saw shit particles. - I don't know what she's even talking about. - That's, you'd be shittin' hard. - It's mainly like you shittin' in there, Libby. (laughing) It'll be there particles. - I guess every guest, Brett. - I wish people would sign that guest book in the bathroom. - I never saw it in there, you all have a guest book in there? - Yeah. - If you use the toilet, you're supposed to sign it. - And then you're supposed to like, say how big your shit was. - I don't look at my shit. - Rate the bathroom, like if you had dude wipes or not, that's all that. - That's good. - I would never know the size of my turd 'cause I didn't look at it. - You could just don't, didn't look. - Okay. (laughing) - All right, didn't look. That's what I write, did not look. Sorry. - My sister Dawn, you're like the only one who's filled it out. - I never saw it in there. I'll have to go, I'll have to. - That's funny. - Interesting. - Yeah, so what else? - Well, you want to do a love hate? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) ♪ Look, look, look, look ♪ - Hey, love. - All right. - Should I do like a heavy metal beat? - We'll get it in four years, yeah. Start now, Brett. - Should I start on it today now? - Could you start on it now? We'll get it in three years. - I always wanted to do a heavy metal song. - Okay, Bill. All right, Bill. (laughing) - Bill me. - I have so many listed on hate. I want to list all of them, but I got to save them for the next one. - Damn. - Is everybody ready? - Is everybody ready? - Something I love. - Cleaning my ears. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - There's no better feeling than sticking a Q-tip in that motherfucker. - There's no better feeling. Like, you have to. If you get out of a shower and you don't do that, you're not a trusted human being. - And I put alcohol on the tip and I'll just, I mean, I will rub. It's like I got clippin' my ears. - You put alcohol on the tip? - Uh-huh, and I will just literally rub instead of just, oh God, it feels so good. - Yeah. - I used to think rubbing alcohol was bad for you, Kana. But I'm hearing good things lately, I feel like. - Yeah, what'd you get? - You guys know? - What you been hearing? - Just that it's actually good for you. But not a lot, probably. Just a little cleanie. - What disinfects? - Yeah. - Yeah. - People have been known that for a long time. - Yeah, we've known that for a long time. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's probably true. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You just gotta pay attention, Brett. - Yeah, Brett. - K. - Do you gotta do your own research? - Well, yeah. - Yeah, Brett. - Bill. - All right, I love doodling, doodling. Like, right in my name, I'm just drawing. - Yes, yes. - It still feels nice. And what I hate is when, oh, hopefully I haven't said this, when you wake up in a hot tent. - Yeah, that's a bad one. - Just why? - And you can't breathe. - Yeah, but I don't love that. - Yes, okay. Something I hate when your arm is resting on the middle console, and someone asks you to move so they can get into it. - Damn. - Just dance, that arm. - Yeah. - You hate that? - Yeah, I get a little frustrated. I'm like, oh. - Is it if it's Greg though? - Anybody. - Okay. - I rest in my arm and they're like, oh, you let me get, you know. - I do napkin. - You let me move your arm. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's annoying. - That isn't, you know what else is annoying when frickin' YouTube ads come up and you're in bed and you have to reach your hand out to press skit. - I hate that. - You have to move an inch. - Well, I have to get my arm out of the blanket press skit. It's off and ruins my night. - She's running. - There's a button clicker now. You can just... - No. - Yeah, you can click a button and scroll on TikToks. - I knew Maggie would probably dig that. - You smell shit? - Yeah, y'all gotta scoot over, let her on there. You smell shit on her? I smell shit, but now it went away. I don't know what happened. - She has a protruding asshole. - Yeah, she got a gaper, dude. - Oh, that. (laughing) - We're talking about a dog tilly. - Yeah. - She got the biggest asshole I've ever seen. - She really does. I'm not gonna show y'all 'cause that's you. - That's, yeah. - Beastiality. - Yeah, we can't be doing that. - But the little Rose buddy for sure. - Yeah. (laughing) - Mama baby. - She's beautiful, y'all love and hate. - Shoot, you go brat, I gotta get my list up. - Yeah. - What's something you love, brat? - Damn, Maggie having a list, that's right. - I love water in the house. I have a flowing water. - Okay. - Yeah. - 'Cause once you go without it, you really appreciate, like, man, we're lucky to just have-- - Hold on, hold on. So you're 44 years old, that's the first time you've been with that water in your house. Privileged. - Yeah. - Privileged. That's the first time you've been with that water. - Yeah. - I've been with that water. We were out with that water. - Monthly? - On a regular basis. - It was tough. - A hundred times. - We didn't have to go to friends' houses to take baths as kids. - I kept trying to think of positives. - Privileged. - Yeah. - So that's tough. - I'm just fucking with you, brat. - It's tough. Respect. - Yeah, it's-- - What's rough? - It's fresh in your house. - Now I have a water in your house. - Oh, yeah. - That's nice to you. - That's a good one, brat. And I want something you hate. - I hate getting vaccinated. - Okay. - Oh my gosh, why the puffer fish laugh? - That was the most random thing you could've said. (laughing) - Hey, that's a very brat answer. - Yeah. - I was not expecting that at all. - Okay. - But yeah, that's a good one. - Okay. - Okay. - Thanks brat. - Good job, brat. - Thanks. - Maggie. - Okay, fuck it. Oh, they are doing some construction outside if you hear something, that's it. - Yeah, we're getting our driveway done. But I guarantee you won't be able to hear it. - Yeah. - Okay, my love is, you know that guy's voice that used to do the old VHS interviews, VHS? Was it VHS, VHS one? - VHS one? (laughing) - Kurt Loder? - Kurt Loder? - Was it Kurt Loder? - Was it Kurt Loder? - He was on MTV. - Kurt Loder? - I'm talking about the old VH1 dude. - VH1 dude. Do you remember his voice? - I forgot about VH1 dude. - Why would he say anything specific? - He would do like the interview, like the God, what was it? The documentaries about like rock stars and, - Maggie, I think that was just... - Casey Kasem. - No. - Maggie, I think that was just a voiceover. - No, it was a certain dude. - It was? - So you're thinking it was a little bit of a auto tune. - He had that deep voice. This was in like the 90s. Anyway. - Not Keith Morrison? - No. - I remember his voice. - I don't remember, I'm trying to remember and nothing's popping up when I Google it. Did he do behind the music? - That's what it was, behind the music. Who did behind the VH1? - And this is on MTV. - VH1. - What's VH1? - Am I too young? - Whoa! - That's what I'm saying. - Whoa! (laughing) - Sorry, I popped out, but personally-- - I'm dead. - What the VH1? - What the VH1? - What the VH1? - I don't understand. - Wait, hold on, hold on. - Maggie still has MTV. - No, hold on. - I said VHS on like an idiot. - But, tell me you know what TRL is. - Yeah, on. - Barely. - Carson Daly TRL, did you rush home to watch it? - I don't know those names, like by name. - You don't know who Carson Daly is? TRL? - Carson was slaying. - He used to be so popular. - I wanted nothing more than to go to Times Square, and be out on the streets, yelling at the TRL. - We were like, dude. - I wanted to be picked to go up and watch. I would, we would rush home to watch TRL. - I was like Instagram. - I wouldn't even freaking wanna be in New York just to even see Ryan Seacrest back in the day. It could have been anyone. - Let's see. - But I wasn't rushing home for the fucking whatever. - Okay, Maggie, this what? VH1, behind the music, was narrated. - It was narrated. It was a voice over by a guy named Jim Forbes. - Jim Forbes. - He was not like on the show though. - No, no. - This is just his voice. - But he did a lot of stuff on VH1. - What does he sound like? Can you please snip it? - Probably not. - So you like it up on your own? - Jim Forbes. - So anyway, I love his voice. - Oh, okay. - It's soothing to me. - So you like a nostalgic voice. Yeah, he was a writer. - Uh-huh. - Okay, Jim Forbes, he was a journalist. You'll have to look up his voice. - Care. - Anyway, that's my love. - Okay. - Can we play it on here and all? - Well, at least like five seconds. We won't get copyright, I don't think. - We did. - Maybe. - My, we will. - Jim Forbes voiceovers. Okay, let's see here. Jim Forbes, behind the music. Let me just, man, can you Bluetooth me up? Hold on, let me wait for this ad to go off. Probably. - Just play it in the mic. - I can't, it won't be as good, but-- - Yeah, hold on, hold on. How do we do that, Brett? - Uh-huh. - Gary! - Oh, it's up on that screen. - I hope Jim Forbes makes me cream. - I know, here, right here. Oh, what did I do? - And I wonder what else he did. Did he just narrate this one? - He did a lot of stuff, but his main thing was behind the music. Oh, and I loved those episodes. - Yeah, Maggie, it's funny you say that, 'cause I was thinking a couple months ago, "Man, they need to bring back behind the music." - Yes! - 'Cause I want some updates, I want some to see some new people. And it was like, his voice, and it was like, and then they overdosed, and, you know. - Yeah. - Let me see here. - This record you are now playing is another example of the completion backward principle. - That's his voice. - And he possibly meant the time. - That wasn't behind the-- - That's not who I'm talking about then. - That sounds like the day in 1950s. - No, that's, hold on. ♪ Shadows in the song ♪ - I don't know, we'll figure it out. - We'll figure it out. Maybe Ben can clip it in. - We'll get it good. - Oh, thank you. - We'll get it good. No, we need to find a good Jim Forbes clip to show on the future guys. - You know what I'm talking about, but anyway. - What's your hate though? - Oh, my hate was when you freshly take out a bag of trash, your trash can, and then you got a freshly emptied bag of trash and say, "I make tuna sandwiches." - When I got those tuna cans in there, 'til the next day, that pisses me off. I hate that. - Having to throw in that stinky trash on a fresh bag. - Yes, or me or anything that stinks, 'cause now it's got to set there for 24 hours. - Yeah, that's nasty. - Okay, make sense? - That's nasty. - I hate that. - Makes absolute sense. I loved this segment. Can I just say that? - Oh, it's one of my favorites. - Yeah. - Look at Gary, I'm sorry, but he's sleeping on his freaking hams. - Gary, do you love mama? Where did you go? - Well, uh... - Hello, and welcome to the MooMoo commercials. - Who wants better sex? - Me. - Well, do you know how to get started? - I do, I'll tell you what. - What? - I usually go to one of my favorite websites. Adam and Eve dot com. Okay, they got everything I'm gonna need, and you're gonna need to help you have not only better sex, but just better nuts, even if it's alone. - They offer lube, cock rings, dildos, small dildos, clitsuckers. - You can keep going. - Butt, butt plugs. - Yeah. - Even smaller cock rings, cock cages. - Y'all, they got it all, okay? And abinave.com is offering 50% off just about any one item, plus, plus free shipping, okay? Which includes rush processing. So if you're needing a bus quick, guess what? They're gonna get it to you quick, and they know what they're doing. 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Did you get sounds? - Yeah, got a little soundy. ♪ Guess the sound, guess the sound ♪ - Huh? ♪ Guess the sound, guess the sound ♪ - Ma'am? ♪ Guess the sound ♪ - Oh, I love that. - I miss Roger. - I miss Roger. - All right, you're ready for my first sound? - Y'all ready for this? ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪ Here we go, here we go. First sound is, here we go, from me. (sizzling) - I don't know what that is. - Is that a freaking like dog collar? Like a collar? - Yeah. - Hell yeah, pong, pong, pong. - Did you think that's what it was, Maggie? - Yeah, that's what I thought. - Yeah, let's go. - Yeah. - Cannon's harnessed. - Oh, that was money in a jar. - No, nah, nah, I've heard that sound way too many times. - Do you have, you have. - I've heard dogs just take their heads too much. - Yeah. All right, your turn, honey. - Okay, here we go. - Here we go. - First sound of, guess the sound, for the page. (keyboard clicking) - Is that a staple then? - No. - Are you clicking your nail on something? - It's a little more click, but not that. Here. (keyboard clicking) - You are more clicking. - More clicking, but it doesn't. - It does sound like a staple gun. - What if it's like a top rider button? - No, it kind of sounds like that, but it's not. It's clicking something. You guys have probably clicked it a lot throughout your life. (keyboard clicking) - You've clicked it a lot. It's something you use every day. - Is it a pin? - Yeah. (gasping) - Malt clicky. (cheering) - Malt clicky baby. - Malt click. - You're ready for this next one? - Yeah. - Everybody ready. - Oh yeah. - Listen closely. - Oh no. - Here we go. - Here we go. (keyboard clicking) - Oh boy. - There we go. (laughing) - Here we go. (laughing) - Play that again. - Yeah, yeah. (keyboard clicking) - Is that the damn washer? What the hell's going on? - What? - There's a lot of noises. Anything specific. - That's what I was gonna say. That's not one certain noise. - Anything specific to be paying closer retention to? - Probably the very end. - Okay. - You ready? - Yeah. (keyboard clicking) - I know what you're doing. - Oh, is the door shutting? - Yeah, she's shutting. That's just a drawer. - No, the front door or the side door, the screen door, the last door, yeah. - That's not a good one. - Mm-mm. - Yes, it was. That's the best one I've done. - Mm-mm. - That's not, that was not a good sound. - Yes, it was. - It's not a good sound. - Okay, next time I'll fart and you gotta guess it's a fart. I gotta guess it has to get hard. - Yeah, that is getting hard, but here we go. - Okay, I'll play that again. - You're opening a can of Coke. - No. - No. - Anybody? - You're wheeling something in. - No. No wheels. - Not wheel, but you're like a tape measure. - I feel like you can see it longer than this. - Is a tape measure, you're zooming it in? - Yeah, that's what I meant. - When I said wheel something in enough. - Oh, okay. Yeah. - Hey, I'm on fire today. - Yeah. - Tape measure. - Tape measure. - How'd you get that? - It sounded like a tape measure. - Yeah. - That's what it sounded like. - Here, let me play it once more. - Yeah, it did. - When you're stuck in it back in, good one. - Dang. - I was always afraid of those growing up. - Yeah, you get hurt. - Don't cut ya. - Well, you gotta face your fear. - Yeah, give your all my tears. - Yeah, you gotta face your fears. - Face and fears. You're my moment, tears. - Is that a real song? - Maybe. - Can I just say, before we move on, that not only, I'm mad that there was Nickelback slander to begin with. - What happened? - Something. - Just to begin with. - Just I'm mad that it even happened. - Oh, pretty much any slander. I'm like, come on, we can just do better. - Yeah, especially Nickelback slander. - Yeah. - Don't, don't. - There's so many other people to be worrying about. - Right, and don't dog a band that sings, I'm gonna stand in a lot of clubs and never get in this. Like, don't do that. - Oh, Nickelback. All of their songs, they are not, yeah, they are not someone hit wonders. They have. - Bangers. - But although, one hit wonders have made me kind of. - Interested. - Motley. - Interested because I used to be like, oh, they can just do one hit and be done. But now it's like, I kind of look at it differently because just labels and. - If they crack the code to somehow slide in and get a hit. - Or you might get a frickin' if you want another one hit, a two hit wonder, you might have to get a little more sticky in the ass. - More sticky, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Two hits. - So it's like, oh, okay, I have a little more sympathy for the one hit wonders. - Absolutely, absolutely. - That makes sense. - 100% does. - I hear the secrets that you keep. - Who do you think was the best one hit wonder? - I'd have to see a list. - Okay, I don't have one. - Okay, let me let me well. - There's a lot. - You know what we do have? - 'Cause you'll love a song and people will just be, that's a one hit wonder. And their voice is just too good. - Like I'm in the level 42 lately. - This is, oh, that's from the 90s. Let's say best one hit wonders, list of one hit wonders. - See if we can get away with playing this. - You think it's Stevie Wonder? - "Spiritless Sky" is one. Tainted love. - Brad, don't play music. - He knows what he's doing. - Yeah, he does. - Tainted love. - Baby got back is one. Baby got back. - Oh, no, that's a one hit wonder. - I'm too sexy. - He's singing at least too sexy for my shirt. - The best one hit wonders. I don't know. - And everything's just a remake. - Time to sexy for Milan. - They say, okay, the VH1 has listed the number one biggest and best one hit wonder is "Macarena". - Oh, oh boy. - I believe that. - Remember how big that song was? - That's big. - "Low Stell Ryo" boys or something. - We would do that at the skating rink when we were little. - I mean, that's a good one. - Do you guys know how to do the "Macarena"? - Yeah. - You remember? - Yeah, ready? (humming) - Ice baby is one. - Lots of good ones. - No, I play that funky music was tight by Vanilla. - I remember when I was little just kind of getting scared to do the YMCA, like I'm gonna do my C backwards or something, you know? Then have my family make fun of me for four years. - Hey, these are great. Great little one hit wonders. - But I, you agree with "Macarena" though? - I think it's the number one. I think it's the biggest. - It was the most popular. - Everyone knows that song. - Yeah, but for you. - I don't know. - Okay, we think about it. - I love it. - I'm gonna think about that and get back to y'all. - Look at TTO. - She's blowing snot everywhere. - Tilly had to have two teeth removed, so she's got four left. - Eight. - Eight, she has eight teeth left, eight little rice teeth left in her mouth. - Mainly on the left side. - So her tongue hangs out extra low. - Her tongue hangs out. Tilly. - We love her. - Dude, Tilly is so freaking professional. - And she's so fat and cute. - And little and snorts. - And if people knew her personality though, like when she digs her head into the couch and wants you to just play, it makes my day. - I know. See if she'll snort and mic. - She's kind of like the leader too. - She snorted, we heard it. - Yeah. - She's the leader of the dogs. - Yeah. - She's the leader of the pack. - She's the leader of the pack. - Yeah. - And she's the tiniest. - Yes. - Yeah. - And she runs that stick. - And she, yes, she does. She really. - That's interest baby. - She carries a big malt stick. - She always runs out to my truck wanting to go home with me. - She does. - She runs. - I'm gonna cry. - Waddles. - Well she has done it. - She's done it multiple times. - Yes. - Oh damn. - More than once. - She loves Anta. - She loves to get to go home with Anta. - Dang. So what else, huh? - Well I was thinking I was getting a little hungry. - Oh. - And I could smell something cooking. - Is it my armpits? - No. - Is it, you smell the, do you smell that? - No, I smell like beans or something like baked beans, maggy, roll that beautiful bean footage. - Hey honey, I just wanted to get your take on something. So my boyfriend is fantastic in bed. But I don't know why he refers to my pussy as a koochie and he'll be dead serious and just be like, oh yeah, give me that kooch, oh yeah, I want that kooch. I just, it takes me so out of the moment, I just wanted to be called a pussy. And I finally like resolved the fact that that's not going to change. So I was just kind of like let it go. And then he comes out with, oh yeah babe, bring that kooter over here. He calls us a fucking kooter, not even as a joke. So I just wanted to know, what do you prefer your pussy to be called in bed? Thank you honey. - Oh yeah. - Maggy take it away, you're living right now. - I would be so turned off and pissed, I just wouldn't fucking. - Yeah. - I'd be like listen, if you want pussy, you got to call it a pussy. - Yeah. - Don't say kooter or kooch. - Yeah. - I'd still fucking. - Depends, depends for me because I would not be turned on. - Mm-mm. - Because if you said kooter, it pissed me off, because that's like a funny name for it. - But don't say pussy either, I hate that pussy. - What? - I'd rather you say pussy. - It's so like. - I'd rather you say pussy over here. - It's so creepy. - It's so creepy. - I guess it depends the guy with pussy, oh. - Okay, what do you want, you're boning a guy, what do you want him to call it? Not nothing. - Cause if he calls it a kitty cat, I'm going to get pissed too. - Hell no, ain't nobody saying I'll lose my mind or I'll credit her behavior. - I'll lose my mind. - So what do you want it to be called? - Yeah. - Fuckin' pussy, not koochie, not kooter. - You don't want him to call anything, you don't want him to say anything? - Yep. - She doesn't want you to say anything. - Just don't say anything, just don't say anything, just be like oh you're so tight, that's like you don't need to be in holes. - It's obvious. - You know what you're in. - You don't need to be describing holes. - Yeah, you know what you're in too. - It's so moist. - A pussy. - Yeah. - Okay, I can handle pussy, I don't want kooter. I think that would turn me off and then I'd be like almost like I'd have the ick, the entire time we're filming. - Yes. - Now when I go through with it, probably, but I'd have the ick. - And you'd be dried up? - Yeah, I'd be dried up. - He's saying koochie though. - Koochie or kooter, I can't, you know, on either. - Spread your koochie. - And he's being, or if they call it a cunt, oh ain't nobody doing that. - I think that's the top one. - I'd lose my mind. - Bring that little cunt over here. - Let me lick your cunt. - That's disgusting. - Do cunts an interesting word, you know. - Dude, it's a lot to say that, I've had a guy say that before and I was like, no. - I do like how shocking it is. I like to look at people's face when somebody says cunt and like just looking around seeing how people react. - Like stupid fucking cunt. Like. - That's different. - Yeah. - Oh god, you can't feel so good. - No. - I would lose my mind. - No. - That would be somebody like overseas saying that I. - You think so? - Yeah. - Like Europe. - I feel like they throw around the cunt word a lot. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But I think as a jab, not necessarily a sexual thing, maybe. - Ooh, I hate that word period, even in the jab. - Cunt? - Yeah. - That's like the worst. I don't know why. - Hey, she's not wrong, I'd feel the same way. It would just give me the ick. - Just tell them, say hey. - Oh, you have to. - Say kuchi has got to go. Say hey, if you want to call it that in passing or whatever, talking about it, but when we're in bed, it kind of gives me the ick. I would literally just say that because Greg used to call mine a little pearl. - Ew. - No. - Are you telling me? - And it pissed me off so bad. He did it all the time. A little pearl. - In the room. - Now we make fun of it. - Like he would actually say that. - While he was down there, he would go look at your little pearl. - He was just trying to get a kick out of you. - Probably. - You could turn it around if he doesn't stop and say give me that little wiener. - Give me that little shrimp. - Give me that little shrimp dip. - Give me that wiener. - Dog. - But he doesn't do it. He hasn't done it in a long time because I'm like, you don't stop calling it a pearl. - I wonder what guys hate what we call their dicks. - Brett? - Like cocks. - No, they love them. - Yeah. - Cocks. - They love when you say cocks. - Yeah, I love your giant cocks. - Penis. - Penis. - Don't say that. - Penis. - I love that. - Wainer. - Hey. - Wainer. - Put your wiener in me. - Slide that penis in his hand. - That's what I'm saying. Turn it around and just start saying give me that wiener. - Yes, say wiener and penis. PP. - He'll probably pee that. - He's that shit up though. If he's saying poochy in London, he's going to eat that up all day. Just say hey man, no more poochy. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Poochy. - Yeah, that's right. - Or yeah, I would truly say that. But then if he goes, what else do you want me to call it? And then that every time you bring up something, it adds a little element of weirdness. - Oh yeah, then they got like, I can't even say coochy right now. - Right now. - And then if he hates the word pussy, it makes him cringe. He doesn't want to call it a pussy. - Call it vagina. - Then they got to come up, they got to come up with a middle ground. - No talky. - Maybe they can make up a full new name. I think that's what we should do is make up a full new name. - Why don't he give it a name like towanda or Jessica? - Amy. - Towanda fuck you. - Amy. - Amy. - Or just, you know, like the-- - Stick me. - What does it actually look like? Kind of looks like-- - He could say give me that little slit. - Yeah. - I mean, that's kind of-- - What if it's big? - Even if it's big, you say little. You know what I mean? - No, that pisses me off. - Little. - Give me that filet mignon. It kind of looks like dumbbells. We should get like weights, like numbers on each side. - Stop. - No, that would piss me off. 'Cause it's a big pussy. - 'Cause they give me that big pussy. - If I have a fat pussy, and a guy says, "Oh, I love that." - Tiny pussy. - Tiny pussy. I'm gonna get pissed. - You wanna know your fucking lion. - You wanna say, "I love that horse pussy." I know you're fucking-- I know you're fucking lion. Say fat pussy. Say horse pussy. - Yeah, I like that. - That's gonna piss me off. - Yeah, don't lie. - Yeah. - You're lion. It's fat. - But just say it when you're in the bed. - No. - That pisses me off. - Give me that little taut slit. - That pisses me off 'cause it's not little or a little slit. - It's tight. - But it could be a little pussy hole, a little pussy. That's the hole. - Just say fat, tight hole. - That's gonna be great. - Yeah. - If you said fat, tight hole, I wouldn't be okay with that. - Holy cow. - Yeah. - Wow. - Holy cow. - So anyway, there's that. - Good question, though. - Yeah, great, great, great, great call. Thank you for calling in. - Cool of you guys. - Yeah, and before we go to the next call, I'm gonna encourage everyone listening to give us a call, you know, the calls have slowed down a little bit. They were rampant there for, well, give or take. - Yeah. - The mythical-- - Yeah. - Just a lot of malt-satties, but-- - Yeah. That's okay. - Sattie-battie. - Sattie-batties. Just give us a call. Please, call in with questions, concerns, crazy stories, family stories, relationships, stories, if you-- - If you named your vagina a different name than-- - Yeah. - Yeah. - Vagina or Puthy? - Just anything. We love you guys. - Really. - Motha. - Motha Stewart. - Hi, honey. British guy here. - British guy. - British guy. - I love-- I love you guys so much, you-- your podcast is the ship, okay? And I've got a bit of a crush on Beth. - B.C. - The tattoos are so cool, and she's got one of those, like, sexy faces. Yeah, so I'm wondering, like, when are you guys going to take the show, or when are you going to visit, like, the UK, because-- I mean, I don't know if you've done it already, but if you haven't, like, I think you've got to do it, you know? We'd love to have you, try out our amazing pie and mash, roast beef, Yorkshire cuddins, bangers and mash. Yeah, that's it, really. Yeah, come to the UK, when you've got a chance, that'd be amazing, do a muck thing. - Right. - Oh, my God, I'll be so fucking cool. - Right. - Shout out to my friend Crystal, who got me into watching you guys. Love you. - Spread it out. - And, yeah, that's it. Oh, oh, my God. Yes, baby. Oh. Oh, my God. Yes, baby. Oh, you're about to cluck it. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, yes. - Did I say, "Oh, you bounced on my dick?" - Yes, that needs to be a sound bite. - That might even have it right. - That might have been the best one I've ever heard. - That might have been the best one. - Clip markup. - That was a good one. Well, first off, thank you, Crystal, for being a super sprater. We really appreciate you spreading the word of the podcast. - Oh, Crystal, yeah. - Second off, I love the way he said tatoo. - Huh? - Instead of tatoo, he said tatoo. - He said tatoo. - Yeah, tatoo. - Which I thought was interesting. - What the hell is the things he's saying to you? - Bangers and mash, yorks to puddings. Now, you'd think it was pudding, but yorks to puddings are breads. - What's the mash? - Bangers and mash, sausages and mashed potatoes. Ooh, can't wait. - Can't wait. - Because Paige and I go actually going to be in London for the first time ever next month. - Yes, we have booked some trips. - We do not have a show or nothing. We're going to have fun and we will be muckpanking and Greg's coming along with us. - Yeah, we'll be in London, we'll be Amsterdam, we'll be. - South Africa. - South Africa. - Yeah, and here's the thing, I have been looking all over TikTok, like, where should we eat in London? Where should we go in London? And people talk so much shit on English food. Oh, it's bland, it's horrible, these people suck. I follow this guy, this chef in England who makes like traditional English food and call me crazy, the shit looks good. Everything he makes, I'm like, oh my God, I want a big plate of that. I can't wait for an English breakfast. - The food probably seems bland because it's actually good food for you. - Right. - I can't wait to have beans for breakfast on toast. - But also if you have any recommendation if you've been to London or Amsterdam or South Africa, just let us know anything you want us to know. - Yeah, I can't wait for bangers and mash. I want to go, there's this place I want to go to that has a traditional roast dinner. They call it a Sunday roast. Now, I don't know if it's just on Sundays or if you can have it throughout the week. I need to figure that out. - Yeah, weekly roast. - But you get like roast and like Yorkshire puddings and you get all your little, all your little English stuff. I can't wait. - Oh boy. - We're just gonna eat the entire time. - That's all we have planned. Oh, I saw that we should go to a movies, even though it kind of seems weird, but there's like little lamps by every single chair. It's like a really old theater. - Let's go. - Yeah. - Let's do it. - And Amsterdam, everyone's like, it really seems weird to go on a movie on vacation, but could be fun for a chill night. - Let's do it. Yeah, I'm excited. - Oh my gosh. - Do you think if we go over there that I can use this accent and people will think it's real? - It will, I think it will actually start sticking 'cause when I hung out with people from all boy, from London, I couldn't stop talking like them for days. - Every restaurant we go to, I'm gonna say to the way I'm gonna say listen, I'm American. This is a fake accent, but I'm going to speak this way the entire time. And at the end of the meal, you grade me. A through F if how good it was and how believable it was. - I think you shouldn't tell them. - They're gonna know, you think? 'Cause I just went a little Australian there for a second. - I was gonna say it kinda sounded Australian. - I went Australian there for, I didn't even try it, it just naturally happened. - We'll just see if they say something. - They're gonna know. - Hey, are you guys from around here? And then that's how, that will give us some indication that they know you're fucking not doing well. - 'Cause Grace will be like, can I get the Yorkshire puddings? Hey, what do you recommend on the menu? They'll tell him how, then he doesn't get that. - I am excited though, because they say London has some of the best food, non English food, some of the best food around, they have the best, supposed to be the world's best Indian food restaurant. And I had to wake up at 6 a.m. a month ago to make this reservation. And the only spot available was 2.30 p.m. - Perfect. - So this place is gonna be poppin'. - We're gonna be tick-tockin' and vloggin' and all this stuff, so. - All the contents keepin' cheap and touch. - We are gonna be doing muck bangs while we're over there, so. - I don't do muck bangs, but I'm gonna start. - Yeah, you should start in London doing muck bangs. - You should start international muck bangin'. Me and Greg are gonna be doing, they have a KFC in London that has a different menu than America, so I wanna go muck bangin' there. - All I eat is sides, so I could be side bay muck bang. I need to do all the sides. But yeah, you gotta do international muck bangs, even in South Africa. - I'm going to. I'm gonna be international muck bangin', and it's my first time in Europe, and I'm excited, waited my whole life for this, and we're goin'. - Oh, man, love you guys. So be on the lookout for that. - Yeah, keep your eyes. - Muck sticky, muck leaky, freak, all right. - You guys gonna go to Big Bend, think? - If we can get there. - I thought that was in Texas. - I thought it was in London, the Big Clock. - Oh, the Big Bend. - Yeah. - Maybe, we may go by there and look at that. - Well, I was, I think, in the Big Bend as the Grand Canyon. - Big Bend is like a national park in Texas, I think. Maybe I'm trippin'. - Who knows, dude. - I don't know. - Oh, that's what works you. - In Amsterdam? - Maybe, I think so. - Cool. - We would like to go up and down the Red Light District and ask Elay for her time to muck bing with us. Now, I'm being serious. - That's a good idea. - Now. - Thank you. - I've been lookin' at TikToks of up and down the Red Light District, and it is so packed, sometimes you can't walk down the street. - Yeah, that's your worst nightmare. - That's cool, I think. - Maybe give him a call. - So I think if we go earlier in the day, and we just say, "Hey, you know, "here's what we're gonna do?" I think they'll do it. We'll find someone cool that's like, "Yeah, come up, come up." - Yeah, I'm hungry, and I don't have to get anything shoved in a hole for a minute, sure. - Yeah, a lot of people don't wanna be, you can't film, you can't like film up another street, they don't wanna be seen, and I get that. But you may have someone that's like, "Yeah, you never know." - Yeah, you never know if they want a different hole filled. - Right. - Sex with a sandwich. - Mouth hole. - Yeah. - With food, I'll be like, "What do you want?" I'll go pick up anything you want, and let's muckbang. - They're like, "Do you have a cock?" (laughing) - No, they'll probably want a nice lunch break. - Oh, for sure, are you? - You know what I mean? - I would do it, but-- - And to be honest with you, even if she doesn't wanna record on the muckbang, I'll just be like, "You wanna have a mucka pick you up sandwich." Well, we're gonna just gonna play around. - Why do they not, are they never shown or what? - I don't think some women want to be shown, and I think some women don't care, but it's just frowned upon to film them up and down the streets and have your phone out. I think that's what I've, yeah. - Yeah, we gotta read into all that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, so-- - See what we can and cannot do. Because we thought it was called Safari, and it's called a game drive all this time. - In Africa? - And it's out there, yeah. Like, they don't even call it Safari. Why do we call it Safari? - Oh no, not funny. - It's called a game drive. - It is weird. - And also, Amsterdam has the most museums in one area or country in the world. So people go to go to museums, and I've already found a couple cool ones. - We got a lot to do. - Yeah, so-- - So be on the lookout-- - Be on the lookout for the content there in international muckbangs, we'll be muckbanging. - Oh yeah. - Well, thank you for calling in, and thank your friend Crystal for us. - It says here a Safari is a journey that includes a game drive. - Oh, okay. Well, what's that mean? - Which is a guided drive through nature to observe wildlife. - Yeah, okay. - Right, that's the second time you cut us off. Let's go. - Oh shit. - Here we go. - Sorry, I couldn't hear. - Lowery's getting mad. - Here we go. - Hey, honey, just here with my bestie here. - Hey, honey. We have a fucking Mary kill for you. So young Leo, young Johnny Depp, and young Brad Pitt. - Ooh. - Yeah, just imagine him from the Titanic. Cry baby and fight club. - They wanna know what's funny. Wanna fuck Mary kill. - From that era. - Oh yeah. - Oh man. - They're excited. - Well, I know who Maggie's gonna pick. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Maggie has been obsessed with Johnny Depp since you were a kid. - From, yeah, a kid, tell trial. - That's her man. I gotta go with young Brad Pitt. And I know that's so cliche to be like, Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt. - He was hot. - I mean, unrealistically hot. And it's, in my opinion, hotter now. - Yeah. - Now that he's freaking what, almost 60? Hotter now. - So is that a fucker of Mary? - Oh, we're doing fucking Mary kill. - Uh-huh. - So listen, I'm thinking Brad Pitt and Thelma and Louise. - They said youngs. - Oh, he was young in that movie. He was gorgeous. - Yeah, that's the kicker. - You guys saw a fight club, right? - Yeah. - No, I've never seen it. - What's young Johnny looking like? - That was my favorite pit. - Let me look. - Yeah, Johnny. - He was gorgeous. He was stupidly gorgeous. - Would you pick him, you think, over Brad? - Oh yeah. - Okay, who would you fuck Mary kill then? - Okay, I'm not gonna lay this out. I'm gonna fuck Brad Pitt, another Mary Brad Pitt. 'Cause of the allegations. (laughing) - The allegations? So I'm gonna play it safe and just fucking. - Dude, are they gonna go through a whole last trial thing? Like Johnny and-- - Oh, I don't know. I don't know. - Wait, hold up, I don't even know what's going on. - With Brad Pitt? - Yeah. - There's just allegations that he, that I don't know details, but that well, he's like a self-proclaimed, like he's talked about it like a bad alcoholic. And there's like details that he like abused, what's her name? - Angelina. - Angelina and the kids. And so people were like, I don't know if you know, you know, you can't believe everything you read. Within a couple of the kids like on Father's Day, a year or two ago, went on Instagram and like dogged him, saying he's the most horrible person I've ever known, type of thing. - Oh shit. - And a couple of the kids have changed their last name. - Yeah, so I don't know, that's all I know, literally. - You never know. - Correct. - You never know, but. - You never know. - People lie also where there's smoke, there's fire type of thing. - Yeah. - So I'm just gonna play it safe. - Yeah. - Just play it safe and safe and safe. - I mean, it looks pretty good for drinking a lot. - Oh dude, does he ever freaking Johnny Depp though was cute. - Oh. - Oh my gosh. - Yeah. - But I'm kind of, I don't know. - Did you love that? - Did you love getting like John Mayer vibes a little though? - Really, on Johnny Depp? - Oh, hell no. - No. - Mm-mm. - She can't see that well. - Put your contacts in bitch. - Okay. - Did Johnny Depp didn't even want to be an actor? - What do you want to be? - He wanted to be a rock star and he moved to LA to become a rock star and he like was out of money, couldn't pay rent and was gonna move back home to see from Florida. No, he's from Indiana. - You're all welcome. - It's somewhere, somewhere where you'd never guess, you're like Johnny Depp's from, wouldn't it like, Indiana, where's he from? - God, where was it? - From Kentucky. - Kentucky, that's right. - That's right, Kentucky. - So anyway, and he was gonna go back home and his friend Nicholas Cage, who was not famous at that time, was like, well let me ask my agent if he can get you an audition. And then he became Johnny Depp. - So was he a singer or what? - Yeah, I think I think guitarist or something. - Wow, a guitarist to a, what the hell? - How random is that? You don't even care to be an actor and you end up being like the world's biggest Hollywood movie star. It's like bigger than Nicholas Cage that got him in. - Right. - And then getting shit, it's on your pillow. - I'm fucking Brad Pitt. - I'm gonna marry Depp only because I don't see Leo, I'm gonna be too old for Leo. - I'm killing Leo, dude, fuck that guy. - I'm gonna kill Leo. He's not gonna want this 36-year-old pussy. - Oh, he wants that 24 and under. - Under, for Monda. - Down, so that's what I'm doing. - I'm fucking Johnny, I'm gonna marry Brad 'cause I gotta go back for seconds and then kill and Leo, go on. - I'm the same as Paige. - Good job, everybody. - Yeah. - Brett, what about you? - I'm the same, yeah. - On your head. - Pitt's just timeless. I'd wanna marry him. - Pull it. - Yeah. - Timeless. - Well, the thing about it, yeah, I don't know. I'll just fuck all of them. - Yeah, the scruff though on Brad? - Young Leo just kinda looks too young for me. - He looks younger than he was. - Too pretty, you know. - I can't get young Leo out of what's he can go for? - Yeah. - Did you guys see the basketball diaries? - No. - That was a good young Leo. - I never heard of that movie. - Oh. Hey, what about-- - That's a good movie. - Yeah. - Nicholas Cage, do you like him in movies? - I love Nicholas Cage. I was in a Nicholas Cage movie. - Did you see him as a vampire, a picture floating around? - I didn't meet him though, my scenes weren't with him, I never got to meet him. But I heard weird things about him on set. - What was the movie? - It was called Dog, Eat, Dog. - Oh, is that where you made out with somebody? - No. - William Defoe. (laughing) I made out with William Defoe. And I heard, so the PAs would pick me up every day, take me to set, drop me off. So we got close, you get to know the people that are like, you know? - Yeah. - And I was just like, 'cause William Defoe was very nice. Very nice on set, would come eat lunch with everybody. - Cute. - Would say hi to everybody, very like, we had one person with him, I think it was his assistant, and he would just fall around, and you know. And then I was asking him when the PAs one day, I was like, so how is Nicholas Cage? And they're like, oh God. He like, he won't show up to set until the whole crew is ready for him, and we're about to call action, and he drops up and gets out the car and walks on and starts. - Whoa. - You're not allowed to look at him, you're not allowed to say hi to him, like you're not like nothing. - He maulks slips in and out. - Maulks slips in and out, and when he goes to dinner with friends, he doesn't speak, they order for him, 'cause he'll wear glasses and a hat, but his voice is so iconic that, even if you don't recognize him, you hear that voice, and you're like, so he won't speak, they'll order for him. - And he probably gets so much hate for that, you know? But people probably just don't understand. - Yeah, I don't think he, wasn't that he's like rude or anything. I think he's just such a famous person that he just, I don't know, just in and out, don't talk, don't, you know, I don't know. - He will not bother, but he would have a whole last line waiting for him. - Oh yeah, even people on set, you know, like, oh my God, if I had to, that'd be wild. - I was tripping out even when you were filming with Pauli Shore on the side of Sunset, just all the people gone, "Weasel!" - Yeah. - And he'd just, yeah, Pauli. - He'd go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." - He'd go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, you're in our shop." - Yeah, he would. We were like, "Oh my God." - Put it down, Pauli. - Yeah, yeah. Then this guy come up to me and they're like, "Is that Pauli Shore?" And I go, "Yeah." He goes, "Do you think I'd get a picture?" I go, "Well, I wouldn't." (laughing) - I wouldn't ask, he's been yelling at people all day. He goes, "Okay," and walks off. - Dude, only Pauli Shore could do that. - Yeah. - And get away with it. - That was out of control though, but yeah. - Yeah, but yeah, good question. 90s movie stars hit different. Even women. 90s movie stars, man. - I couldn't believe even Selma and Louise, just like how much it gravitated me, because it's so old, but the storyline and the whole bit is just like, you can't not watch it. - Oh, Selma and Louise, to me, is gotta be one of the best movies of all time. - I've only seen the pit part. - Really, you haven't watched the whole movie? - Oh, you gotta watch it. Gina Davis said that, when I was a kid, I was obsessed with Gina Davis, the redhead in it. - Yeah, Beetlejuice. - I was obsessed with her. And she's the blondehead, right? - No, she's the young dumb one, the who leaves her husband. - The catcher and-- - Oh, I thought she had blonde hair in it. - Gina Davis? - Yeah, she had the blonde hair. - No, she got reddish hair. - Did they feel like bigger eyes? - She had the big blonde hair. - Oh, I can't remember. - And then, Sue, the other lady had the red hair. - It looks reddish blonde this year. They both have a similar color hair. - Okay. - Yeah, it's kinda reddish. - I want my hair color. - Anyway, she did a interview years later where she said that they were gonna shoot that the scene over the hotel room scene with Brad Pitt. And she goes, and I had no clue who they booked, who they, nothing, nothing. She goes, I go into the trailer to get my makeup done that morning and Brad Pitt's sitting there. And he wasn't like big famous back then, was he? - He wasn't famous at all. - No, I didn't think so. - He had got a couple little, he was a no name. - Right, imagine. - And she said that he was all like nice and southern, was like nice to meet you ma'am and all this stuff. And he leaves the trailer and she said like, all the women look at each other go, "Ma'am." She goes, "Oh my God." She went to the casting director and goes, "You nailed it." - Oh, wow. They were probably creaming, dude. - Yeah. - It definitely makes sense. If you are with somebody for months and months at a time, how you could fall in love with the person you're acting with when it's gonna work. - Your co-stars. - Yeah, because it's like your work, I don't know. - Yeah, you're meeting the person representing them. - And then sometimes you're humping in a bed and shit, like, you know, slip. - Wishing it with the real thing. - Yeah. - Like hey, let's do the real thing afterwards. - And then they go do it, that's how it starts. - Oh, that's how it starts, for sure, you know. - Yeah. - That's a real cock. - God, such a, "Oh God, I wanna watch Thelma and Louise now." - Uh-huh. - Oh, that's such a good movie. - Have a little premiere, we should. - Yeah. - We should. - All right, we're gonna go, let's do the next call. - Mal-Sticks, baby. - Mafia. - Mal-Sticky. - Hey, I just had a good question. When I was younger, right, I was molested by this girl and my family, friends, she was, like, 17, and I was around, like, eight or nine. Sorry, I'm dropping to the car. Or, then, see a little rattling. Uh-huh. And, from then on, right? I mean, before that though, I knew about sex. Like, at a really young age, I was already kissing and, like, making out with, you know, when I was in, like, kindergarten, then first grade, I was trying to get some coochies. And then, now, growing up, it's like, my girlfriend, my ex, that had, I think I was a sex dinosaur. Like, it didn't normal, I was fuck. Three years we were together and every day, I would need it, I needed the fuck. Like, at least, like, three times. Two times, three days. It's not that easy, it's like that. Just let me know if that's normal. And it was not first. Sometimes I'd go an hour, sometimes it'd be 30 minutes, you know? Yeah. Oh, see. Oh. Like that shit. Uh-huh. Oh. (indistinct) Anyway, let y'all, oh yeah. That was one of those un-un-un-hand phone calls when you were pretty sick. Half of the call was cut off, but the parts that made it were real. Oh my God, that made my whole day. Yeah, I'm sorry that happened to you when, oh my. That... First off, can I say, thank you for all the dudes calling in Monan. Yeah, he said kuchi though. He did. Give me that kuchi. Dang. Don't say that. Kuchi was kind of big in the rap lyrics, I feel, in the 90s. Like, DJ Quick. So, don't say, give me that kuchi. Give me. That call tied in with this call. That dudes do say, "Give me that kuchi." Yeah, just stop saying, "Give me that kuchi." Just say kooky, just sweater. Just keep the K's or the C's or whatever they are with that. Yeah. Oh man, thank you for calling in. He's asking if it's normal to be horny, basically. To have sex two to three times a day. He said he needed it. I think he's lucky. I think most dudes do. Yeah, he said he can go half... The call was really broken up, so trying to just go from that. But great moans. Great moans cut out the kuchi. Some of the sex talkets sounded a little... What was he saying? Like, "Oh yeah, he didn't hit me with that." I don't know. Hit him with some shoulders or something. See, I think you would kind of like that kind of talk. Like, what is he saying? Like, "Oh yeah." Mumbles. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I think it's normal if you're super horny. But maybe, you know, if your partner doesn't want to have sex three times a day, maybe just maybe have sex once in the jacket twice. 'Cause I could get annoying. Yeah. Yeah. Having that freaking... I mean, just leaking all day. To be used as a whole. 'Cause you know if a guy wants sex three times a day, you know he's not giving you a good sex session. You know it's not, he's not making you come each time. He's using you as a whole. Go buy a pocket. Go buy a pocket. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so, Brad. You're telling me you want to have sex three times a day, and you're going to make each session a long session, you're going to get her off, you're going to make it about her, you're going to make it every single time? Nah. You're pumping dump. You're pumping dump, brother. Band over. Whatever needs to be done, I can make happen. Mm. Yeah. Whatever needs to be done, I can make happen. Yeah, you're like Kurt Loder, um, freaking. So I would say it's not normal then, because... I think it's normal to want to nut that many times a day. But to be like going for it, like really just trying to get that nut, you can't always get it, so he seems very adamant about it. Yeah. Just jack off or fucker once, 'cause yeah, like what Chelsea's saying that just don't... I could handle some dick once a day. Once a day's great, but maybe one at three times a day. Maybe like a condom. Yeah. I can barely have enough time to do other things. That's not even enjoyable three times a day. That's what I'm saying. That's like work. Yeah. Get a flesh light. Yeah. Or just use your hand. Whatever you do. Or with your hand. If you don't have money for a flesh light, those are expensive. Use your hand. That's free. But there's nothing more annoying than somebody asking you to have sex with them when you don't wanna. Yeah. Or like feeling pressured and it even, I don't want to say pressured people take that the wrong way. Yeah. I think he's asking, does he think, does he think what happened to him in his childhood has made it somehow made sex different? Is it normal to feel this way or is he different? I think most dudes feel the same way you do, but I think that's very normal. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. That is very normal for a dude to want to nut multiple times. You don't use it. You lose it. Yeah. To nut on top of nuts. Yeah. That is true. I think that's completely normal. Just keep nutting, my man. And thank you for listening to the podcast and calling in. Love you. Yeah. Thanks for calling in and just saying what you said because, you know, it happens way more often. Yes. And like, especially to, for that to happen to a guy and for you to call in, that's probably helping out so many other people. Exactly. Exactly. Love you, honey. Love you. Hey, I was just wondering if you ever fart and stand up for a second to smell it. And another thing, fuck you. Fuck. That was a premature fuck you. Oh, yeah, I do that. Do we ever fart and stand there for a second to smell it? Have to. Absolutely. I love it. Mm-hmm. Ma'am, don't say I love it. You know, people say, "Oh, I love the smell, ma'am, farts." No. But you do stand there and smell it because you're usually like, "Oh, that one stinks." You tell us, "That one stinks or doesn't stink." So that means you're standing there smelling. Well, I won't deliberately stand to smell it. But if I'm doing dishes and I'm actively doing dishes like a fart and a fart, I'm not going to run across the room after I fart. Oh, no. But if I'm walking in a fart, I'm not going to stop to smell it. Do you ever go to the other room, pull your pants down, fart, and then come back into the room? I have done that. Yeah. I never pull my pants down, I don't think. I do. Why would you pull the pants down? Because the fart sticks to your clothes and that's how it follows you. It's going to follow you no matter what I feel like. I've bought her a cup to myself. Ooh, Paige. Yeah, I do that. I don't love the smell of my farts like a lot of people. You know what I will do, though? They don't gross me out as much as someone else's fart, but I don't enjoy them. Yeah. Uh, if I fart under the blanket, I have to wave it because I don't want it in there. Yeah. Mayor. I'm on a sheet. But it's so fun giving a Dutch oven to people, like they go get into bed and get the waft of your fart. Oh, they're so funny. Surprise. It's so bad. Why is it so funny? Farting? Like we laugh at farts like nobody's business. Yeah. They sound funny. And just that they stink, yeah, is funny. And in your brain too, if you're in a group of people and you fart and you know it, it might have been you and then you keep smelling and you're like, wait, what if somebody else's fart and then it becomes nasty to you? Like your brain can really do some things. Or you deny it and you know damn well that was either a fart. Yeah. I will never deny a fart, but I don't also don't silent fart. My farts are loud and I'll never deny a fart. Did you fart? No. Yeah, you did. I would say if I did. Yeah. I didn't fart. It's not going along when people say I'm blaming you and it's not you for anything. Yeah. Especially a fart. I did not fart. I love it when you get mad like that. You do? Yeah. It's funny. I'll freak out like that though. Sometimes thinking it wasn't me and then I think and then I'll be like, wait did I sift that out? Sipper. Yeah. Sift. Saying sift and seep makes me want to hit this wall beside me right now, especially after we have Mexican. I'll be seeping. We got to go. Okay. Hit that. See, I don't see. I straight up. I straight up do this. I straight up do this fart. You got one. Shh. Did you? That's like a fucking red. That was the littlest fart of all time. I'm disappointed in myself. You should have put your ass to the mike and got up. Yeah. It sounded like your throat noise that you make. Yeah. Sorry about that. Okay. Well, love you. Love you, honey. I'm just going to say that was the last call. Last call. That was the last call. That was. We're down with calls. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Well, shit, dude. I guess we're going to go eat some Mexican food. We love you guys. We love you. And call in. Check out the merch. Thanks for the malt stick. Thank you for enjoying the malt stick shirts. And we're all going to have them a limited time, so jump on and get your malt sticks t-shirt. The viralpodcast.co. If you forget that, you can also go to my website, eatmytrash.com, it'll take you directly to the viralpodcast.co. Yeah. So either one. And check out our Instagrams and stuff. Paige, Jen, Chilthi, Lynn, Maggie. Wilson. Wilson, girl. Wilson, girl. Wilson, girl. Right. Right. Why you got your hands together? I'm cold. It is free. But we got to go. We got to go get gloves. Y'all are ridiculous. Y'all are ridiculous. All right. Love you. The podcast number is four four two seven seven seven three three three one You know, he's remember that you are doing great. You're looking good and fuck what everybody else thinks I was disappointed in you. I think I have the best part.
