FiredUp Network
Tuesday, July 23: Sweet Insights with Ali & Amy Website Wonders Ali's Big Reveal And More
- Hello and welcome to Sweet Insights with Ali and Amy. Hi, Amy. - Hi, Ali. - How are you? - I'm good getting my daily candy in. - What kind of candy are you eating? - They are, I call them big feet, but they're actually like big foot. - I haven't had those since I was little, we used to go to the convenience store and buy them. Like five second candies. - Yes. - Mm hmm. - And I have a whole bag of them sitting next to me, unfortunately, and so I'm eating them. - Imagine how happy our kids would be if they could go to the convenience store and buy five second candy. - I know. Like it's not really a thing. Like our candy store, we don't do it because we don't like having open candy 'cause then you need certain permits and requirements for that. So we don't do it. And I guess like germ protocols and such really don't make sense to like. But if you think about it, like, I don't feel like when we were a little, the convenience store we went to was very clean. And they were just sitting open and people just like grabbed them and put them in like a bag. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's, I mean, they had tongues that you're supposed to use, not just fingers. - Yeah, but did kids actually? - I did, I don't know about other kids, you're right. - Right? - But now we make mixed bags and we sell them at our candy store. And I am so excited for the treat that I am bringing with me when I come visit you. - That's fun. - Mm hmm, treats. - I know. So I have a question for you. - Okay. - What's been going on in your life lately? Because I know you and I talk off-camera or off-speaker and I know there's a whole bunch of things happening. So I thought maybe today you could share with us some of what's going on in your life. - Yes, and you know what, it's funny because I do things and I don't often, you know, talk about them enough. So I appreciate you asking. My new website is live and that's super exciting. I posted a blog episode yesterday but didn't release that it's a new website. So I did take all my previous blog posts and transfer them over to the new website but the first live blog went live yesterday and it was all about negative self-talk. And I don't feel like negative self-talk is something that a lot of people talk about and I have heard for some people that some people don't have it but it's more often than not that people have that little voice in their head. And I remember being little and thinking, do other people have this person in their head or is it just me? - Right. - My person talks to me all of the time. And in all of the different coaching modalities that I use in my practice and that I've learned in my practice, it has probably been the most influential thing that has changed my voice in my head. And I noticed that and statistics show that the biggest voice in most people's head is the judge. And the judge is not very nice, right? Some people's are meaner than other people's and my judge used to be really, really mean. And I noticed that in my life, I would lose my temper a lot and I would be angry a lot. And looking back now, that was because of that little voice in my head, that little judge in my head was not being nice to me. And then as a result, I would maybe have an outburst or one of the biggest triggers for me was when I misplaced something. So like, if I misplaced my keys, I would lose my mind. And I would lose my mind on my family, on anyone around me, because that meant that the judge in my head was telling me that I was stupid and that I sucked and that I should do better. And if I was actually organized, I would know where my keys are. And this little voice would be so, so mean. So I have the privilege of being part of a coaching program through another coach. And I've actually partnered with this other coach to share their program with other people. And so the way that I describe it is almost as though you have like this negative side of your brain and this positive side of your brain. So the negative side of your brain will have things like the judge. Some of the other like terms that we might have would be like our people pleaser or our hyper-achiever or our controller. And so they're all kind of the parts that are on the negative side of our brain. And then we have parts that are on the positive side of our brain, which is like our explorer or our empathizer or our innovator or our navigator. And those, that side of our brain, those things work really well. And so one of the things that I am super, super excited about is that in September, I am launching three new programs. And the first program is a group program, which I have not done before. And it's specifically on these principles of taking these negative parts of your brain and tuning into recognizing when those negative thought patterns come up and replacing them with the positive ones. And so the way that this works is it's actually a six week program and you get an app where you listen to a recording once a week and then we do pod meetings. So let's say you get the recording on Saturday, then on Monday you would meet with your pod. So your pod is like five people in need and we do a group coaching to reinforce those learnings that we've learned in this hour long video. And then, weekly throughout the week after that, there are like many little snippets throughout the day that pop up in your app saying listen to this two minute video to help you go from the negative to the positive. And notice, in the last three hours, did you have any negative self thoughts? Did you have any of these things pop up? And each week is broken down by each of those negative patterns. And so there's actually a quiz where you can find out what are your strongest negative things. So everyone will have a different proportion. Most people have the judges, the strongest one, then they'll have the other ones less or more than the others. So it's a really, really exciting program. I found myself that my negative thought patterns are so much better. I'm living in a more positive space. I feel better. I'm happier. And I'm just more fully present in myself and my family. And you know, like I suddenly am now at this space where, you know, if I lose the keys, I'm like, ah, something that I lost those. I bet y'all probably find them in the next couple minutes. And I no longer am losing my mind, if you will. - That sounds so great. And you know what? I feel like it would be so beneficial to take that course, but then we could like use it with our kids because as we were talking about it, how often do our kids negative self talk? Like all the time. - 100%. - 100%. And it's so powerful to use in so many different ways. And so I'm really excited about it. So the program is launching in September, along with two other programs that I'm launching. I'm launching a one-on-one coaching program as well as a year-long coaching program where you coach with me for a full year. And all of them are very cost-effective. You'll notice that if you go on my website, which is wellnesswithwisdom.com, under services, you will see them listed as different gross. So it's seeds of positivity. So that's kind of like the starting baby program, which is a six-week program. And then there's Buds of Transformation, which is the one-on-one 10-week coaching program. And then there's the Blossom program, which is the full year-long program. So it's from seeds to blossom. You can start at any stage that you want, just whether you're looking for a one-on-one group. And there are different price points. Right now, I'm very excited to announce that I will be launching a beta program on the seeds of positivity, which is the six-week program group coaching that I just talked about. So I am looking for five beta testers who will pay a substantially less price. They will get an extreme discount for some testimonials, for sharing about their experience. And it gives us an opportunity to kind of see what works well and what doesn't. So it's a great testing opportunity. So if you were ever looking for some super discounted coaching, now is your time to jump in. I'm looking for five beta testers only. So those people who are interested would have to reach out to me. And I'm gonna put the people who seem like they need it the most. And yeah, we'll probably start in the next couple of weeks. So that's super awesome and exciting. - Very exciting. - With some great people. I'm curious, Amy, if you have any questions about the program? - Well, one, can we talk about how cute the names are of the programs? I love the different growth patterns and like the names of them, they're super cute. Well, I'm sure there's so many of us that need that program specifically. Definitely myself, like 'cause everyone negative self talks, whether you realize it or not, you do it. But definitely thinking about my kids, I would love to know more about this and understand better so I can help my kids. So your programs, they have different links and obviously they're gonna be offered at different prices. And I know that you're going to, as you go through this and you get your beta testers, you're going to hopefully get lots of good feedback and you'll be able to promote this further. Is there anything people should kind of expect to walk away with at the different lengths of the programs? - Yeah, so I mean, with the six-week program, we're really focusing on that negative self talk and even the stuff that you don't notice, right? Like, I was surprised that people pleasing 'cause I'm a pretty strong personality and I was surprised that people pleasing was really high on my list of things that I was doing. And I kind of pondered that a little bit and was like, oh, I need to kind of put some awareness there. And so I was able to notice when I was doing it and whether it's family members who like, I'm doing things for them and I'm giving and I'm loving and are there some underlying beliefs there that that's what's expected of a mother? And where's the give and take with that? And so noticing when we're doing those behaviors and recognizing, maybe there needs to be some boundaries around that. So even when we look at the negative thought patterns in our head and we look at judgment, it also strengthens you to say, am I judging just myself or am I also often judging others? And so those people who are judging others are more frequently living in a place of fear that others are judging them as well. And so it's kind of like that full loop. And so what's interesting about that specific program is that you don't actually realize some of the things that are going on in your brain until you actually see those things. When it comes to the one-on-one coaching program, that program is more personalized. So if you had very specific things that you wanted to address, that gives us the opportunity to look at some very individualized type coaching. So we can look at specific scenarios in your life, whereas it's a little bit more generalized in the group program and we will do some sharing, which can be very reflective and helpful, but the one-on-one program is gonna give you that one-on-one feedback, very specific examples. If maybe someone's mother-in-law is a trigger for them, we're gonna look at very specifics of how do we help that trigger. If every time people put dishes in your sink, those are triggers for you. We're gonna look specifically at those triggers. We're gonna look at limiting beliefs. We're gonna look at those kind of things. And then in the year-long program, that's more of a big breakthrough. So that's where we're gonna take like our five big negative emotions. So we're gonna take anger, sadness, fear, guilt. We're gonna take those and we're going to rewire those in your unconscious mind. And so we do that through timeline therapy techniques and things like that, where you see really big results really quickly that are big game changers in your life. And so we do that over a year-long period because when we're working with those thought patterns and we're not taking something and saying, anger isn't something like we ever wanna experience again. But what we wanna do is we wanna remove those times where anger is unwarranted. So when we have an emotion like anger, it is a learned behavior. We only know how to get angry because of the first time we got angry. And then the second time we got angry, we played on that first time and we expanded those experiences over time. And so eventually if we've had a life where a lot of different things have happened to us, we might get angry at the little list of things. And so we wanna kind of look at the positive intention of those original anger moments and sprinkle those positive learnings on our other experiences. So we're essentially removing anger, but if somebody keyed your car, you're still gonna get angry. Whereas if you're just angry because somebody spilled some milk on your kitchen floor, like an accident. Like do you really need to waste your time and energy to getting angry about that? Or are you gonna be like accidents happen and wipe it up? And that's where we really wanna work with people because when we're at that stage where everything is making us angry like that, spilled milk, the traffic jams, the people who were driving slow on the highway, like when those everyday things are starting to really amp up our anger, we really wanna work on that to back that off. So then it's only the key of your car that actually makes you angry. If somebody broke into your house, you're gonna be angry. Bigger substantial things are gonna make you angry. But when we're starting to see like every day we're angry, that's where we need to do some deeper work to really break through on some of those thought patterns. - Yeah, that sounds very helpful. And that was very informational or informative for us so that people understand what the differences between the courses are because somebody might wanna start at the six week, but then wanna sign on for a year. So it's good to understand how that relates and you're not just doing the same program every six weeks within that year period that they're actually gonna grow and learn with that as well. Just as the name indicates. - Yeah, and the six week program is actually really cool because it's the only one that comes complete with an app. The membership program will come with access to a portal and things like that where you can do monthly group sessions with me, you'll have your private sessions with me. But the really fun thing about the app is that at the end of the six week program, you can choose to extend that app for a low fee. And so then you continue to have access to that app and more information in the app about the learnings that you've already had. So then it expands on those learnings so that you can be like, okay, what other ways can I use these positive side of my brain in other areas and expand on that? And then you can choose to keep that app as long as you want. - That's very cool. No, I think that's great. And it's a good tool for people to have, especially after putting all that time in and work for six weeks that you have something that you can follow along with and continue your progress. - It's so exciting. Like I really wanna get this in as many hands as I can because it's such a simple tool and such a simple strategy that can be used by anybody. Like my 10 year old uses some of the strategies already. And with her, we can only introduce so much at a time because there's the resistance because it's coming from mother. But if it's not, like I mean, there's so many opportunities for learnings and more positivity. And I mean, we live in a pretty negative world, right? And so every time we turn on the news, every time we do all the things, like we can literally like sink and swim in the negativity. And so I think it's that much more important for everyone to be able to come out of that. And notice the positive things in life. And like I'm in a space now where like, yes, does it suck to do dishes? Sure, but I can also say that like the more dishes that I have, the more like when I make a really good delicious meal, there's more dishes. And so when I'm doing more dishes, I can say to myself, yeah, this is my favorite thing to do. But this means we ate a really good meal. It was really delicious. It was wonderful, you know, like we can switch that spin or we can be like, oh, I hate dinner rolls and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we're just sitting in negativity all the time. And so learning ways to like adjust and change that. And there's so many different tools and there's so many different coaches that offer all different things. For me, meditation is something that's super hard. My brain is always thinking a lot. So something like a visualization is a little bit easier to me than just meditation. But I'm also like, I'm afraid of writing in journals. And so like sometimes I will try journaling and I won't stick to it for very long because I'm intimidated by the fact that somebody will read it. So I use strategies and I can appreciate when people struggle with those areas. So there's like micro steps that we can take. Like I will attach a habit to another one. They call it habit stacking. So I will take something like brushing my teeth and I will add a gratitude practice to that. So you can take something like the five minute journal and you can say, okay, instead of writing this out and being fearful that I'm writing the wrong thing, you know, I can brush my teeth in the morning and be like, okay, what am I really excited about today? Oh my gosh, Amy and I are doing a podcast. I'm so excited to see her and to that with her. Like that's gonna be amazing today. And at the end of the day, I could be like, aw, today was awesome. My daughter didn't sit beside me in the podcast and I got to have some privacy and feel like I wasn't being like eyed at the same time, right? Whereas another day, I might be so grateful that she just wants to sit beside me. And every time I sneak onto Amazon shopping in the business day, she catches me and gives me her input on what I should buy, you know? Like, so we can like always be, you know, in this space of a gratitude or reflection and putting out to the universe. And there are really simple ways to doing that that doesn't have to take a lot of time but can really alter your perspective. Right. No, I think that's fair. And like, 'cause if I told you in your busy schedule, like I know you are always busy. You have a very busy life and a busy job and two busy kids. If I said to you, you need to wake up 15 minutes earlier and write in a journal for 15 minutes every day and it's gonna change your life, you'd be like, okay, and you might do it for two days and then you're gonna be like, I'm too busy for that. And then in your mind, you're gonna have this guilt and shame and all these things because you wanted to do that. But if I task you to, you know, write on your bathroom mirror in a, you know, gratitude. And every time you see that when you go in the bathroom, you think, oh, what am I grateful for? As I brush my teeth, that is a mini step that is going to make a big impact that isn't going to take you any more time. It's just now instead of thinking of something else while you're brushing your teeth, you're thinking about, hey, what am I grateful for? - Right. Yeah, absolutely. - Favorite tip, I'm talking a lot, I'm sorry. But my favorite tip for gratitude is any of my clients that I've started with a gratitude practice, they're like, you know, I'm thankful for my daughter and I'm thankful for my partner or I'm thankful for my house. Some people will go as far as I'm thankful for my coffee. But then it gets to the point where like, at that point, they're now like, oh, I'm still thankful for my husband, I'm still thankful for my wife, I'm still, and you're thankful for the same things again and again and again. And so I challenge people in order for your gratitude practice to actually have a benefit for you, you've got to go deeper, you've got to go more specific. And so instead of being thankful for your daughter, specifically today, what are you grateful for? And you know what? My husband was mad at my daughter today because her bedroom looks like a bone went off. And so there was drama before this podcast episode or this femme network episode. And here's the thing, I walked into her room and she's not happy and she's overwhelmed. And do you know what I saw in that moment that I was super grateful for? Is that instead of seeing her messy room, I saw myself as a child and I reflected on the fact that I too had tried to clean my room and instead of it becoming clean, it became a bigger mess. And the overwhelm on her face was like, I got here and now I'm screwed. And I looked at her and I could see myself in her eyes and I was like, I have been here. And you know what? My mom saved me and my mom helped me and my mom sat with me and helped me get out of the mess that I was in and made me tidy my room with her. And I learned how to tidy and organize. And my daughter is a great organizer. If you look at my TikTok channel, I have a really cute cupboard in my house that has all these beautiful line containers. Yes, I did not truth be told. I did not make a said TikTok video. Said child made said TikTok video. And not only is the TikTok amazing better than all the other ones I've ever made, but she did all the organizing. She emptied the pop pages, she put all the stuff in the containers. She did all of that because she's a good organizer. But she had a vision and she was capable of doing it. In her room right now, she's just in a cluster mess. And she needs, you know, she needs someone to give her a life preserver so that she can swim to the side. Yep. And so after our episode today, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give her that life ring and I'm gonna help her out. But had I not been open to that, I could've gone in and just been mad about the messy room too. Right. That's where everything changes when our mindset shifts. Yep, no, and I get it and I can relate to that 'cause when we were packing and moving my daughter and I had the same thing and I was able to help her, but I couldn't help myself and I needed a friend to come and help me because I couldn't see the bigger picture because I was just overwhelmed by everything that was happening. So I can appreciate that. I'm kind of closer. I know, right? Your daughter could have helped me. Not me? No, no, your daughter. You just said it was her TikTok video, so that's who I want. I would have taken your help, of course. But we are at a time and I appreciate you sharing your new website and your new programs with me and our listeners and viewers. And I'm excited 'cause I think we have maybe like one more episode before I actually am there and maybe we record together. - That's so fun. - Our listeners and viewers will have to like stay tuned. We're trying to get regular and back on into life and summer is hard, especially with kids home as we know because getting to this episode today was a little bit complicated with our schedules and our little people in our lives. So we are trying to get back on time and schedule. So thank you all for listening. Check out our Instagram. We definitely need to update it some more. And then watch for Ali and then Wills with Wisdom website and programs if you're interested. - Thanks, Amy. - Thanks, Ali. - Bye. - Bye. [BLANK_AUDIO]