LIVIN OUR CRAZY LIFE
A TALK ON MEN.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Live at Our Crazy Life podcast. I'm Olivia. I'm Megan and today we're gonna talk about men because we are two single women just trying to live life and we are not really impressed right now. So we have some things to discuss. So get your no pads out and take notes. This is not the hate on men. We like men. We love men. We know that women can be the problem too, trust me, we know that. Yes, 100% women are crazy, some women. But you know there's some problems with men and boys, the difference between the two of them. I don't know, the culture of gating nowadays. Let's talk about it. Let's discuss. Yeah, so issue number one. A boy. A boy. Okay, that's issue number one. Someone who is just, they don't do anything for you to enhance your life. Like I don't, to me, a boy is someone that I just picture in my head, someone that we went to high school with or something. Like I picture as someone who doesn't bring any value. Just immature, immature. They don't respect you. They don't even respect themselves. They go around and do a bunch of random stuff with a bunch of random people. They speak and they don't keep their word. They speak and they don't keep their word. That to me is the most repulsive attribute in a man or in a male is when you speak, you make all these promises, you say all these things, you share these things and you don't stand by your word. Yes, it's repulsive. It's actually like criminal. It's criminal. I don't respect you as an individual because I can't hear you. I can't hear you. They just speak and speak and no one's asking to be taken with those words. So how are we supposed to ever trust somebody when it's just, no. And us now, we just, okay, like you're making these words, honestly, one time you say something, you don't do it. That's one tick, second time and I won't let you get to a third time. We're done. We walked away because it's done. There's nothing. I'm not gonna say, for example, you asked me to hang out or do something, schedule a time, and you've asked me before and you've canceled? I'm not sitting there waiting for your text. Too many times. Too many. Too many. No, because no you're worth. No, you're worth, sweetie. A man saying that they're gonna do something for you and they never do. It's a pattern. Oh, and by the way, that's not a man, okay? A boy saying that they're gonna do something over and over and over and over again. Like no, just it's time, sweetie. Walk away, know you're worth. This is ridiculous. Like, I get it. Like, trust me. Like, I get it, but it's like, walk away, okay? Trust me. You have no words. You might think that you have a man on your side because, oh, when I sleep over there, you know, we cuddle like he gives aftercare bare minimum. Are you? I'm not accepting the, that's the least you can do is the bare minimum, okay? Let's go above and beyond and it goes to I am willing to be there for you and support you and your dreams and your goals and love you and show you what love is. And I'm just not feeling that back for myself. Like, how hard is it for you to just, oh, how hard is it for a man to just like give it back? Like, we are two women that are willing. Like, when we like someone, I will do anything for you. We will do anything for you. Like, we actually are such loving people. It's actually your loss. But you don't want that, but they don't want that. It's, they don't want to because men can be insecure and men, if someone is not, it's not you. You're not the problem. It's the fact that they are not, they're scared, actually. They're scared of love or something or they're insecure with themselves and the issue is not you. No. And then with that insecurity, they go and they, they find souls in that insecurity in a whole bunch of people or, or treating you like shit or doing all these things. It's like, but then girls always take it to heart. Like, Oh, I'm the problem. Oh, he doesn't like. No, you're not the issue. He's the issue. You could be the issue, but you could. They say they want a wifey or oh, they're one night stands every week. They don't know how to treat a wifey. They don't know how to treat a wifey. So picks the problem here. Yeah. You are telling everyone that you want a wife. You can't? Oh, yeah. Um, one of my have a wife, I'll treat her like this. How is she supposed to ever be your wife if you're not treating? If you're not already like that, that's so ridiculous. They say, Oh, I only get flowers for my wife. Oh, I'll, I'll settle down with my wife. You cannot get that wife treatment. If you are not treating her with respect, no one wants to start acting like that. If you're not giving that forward. So that makes no sense at all. That makes no sense at all. That makes no sense at all. It actually doesn't. It doesn't. And we have had this conversation countless times because because also, is it so hard for a man to just like, I am so tired of like the situation like, Oh, it's just a situation. Oh, it's just like a, when I'm in there, we'll hang out. Why? Why can't it be like a, I like you and you like me? So let's see where it goes. No, I'll tell you exactly why. Cause everyone wants to play games now. I don't know where this started or when this came from. Everything is a games like you can't text back in time or you're, you're too meaty. You can't seem a certain way. It's like, you can't give your attention somewhere. I have to, I can't do this or do that. I'm love bombing, but like, why can't we not just be human beings that like each other and behave like adults? Why is it games? Why is it always games? I don't want to play games. It's, right? It's I don't want to play. I need someone that is on my level of maturity because I'm not chasing you. I'm not playing these games. It's either you want me or you don't want me and make that clear. I'm not going crazy. So many guys say it now. Like, Oh, I'm not chasing the girl either. You know, when did men become men are chasers? No, I'm not saying go and run after girls that don't want you. What I'm saying though is you should be the one who's reaching out to the girl and asking her for plans or asking her how she is. You should be asking her because you are the man. Like, I'm sorry, but that's that's your role. You know what I mean? If I'm always the one reaching out to you, I can like the man and it's embarrassing. I actually feel so embarrassed. Why am I always the one to say? Hey, let's say let's hang out. It's humiliating. It actually makes me feel like you don't want to hang out with me. And the more I ask to hang out, the more I'm just going to keep pulling my attention. Yeah, that's why I keep pulling back my attention. Like, because like, I feel like you don't want me around, but you're just saying yes to like, to like get me off your shoulder. I feel like a last puppy. I feel like I'm a puppy walking beside your leg. It's, it's embarrassing. The least you can do is reach out to me or if you're not interested, then just say that. Hey, don't play games. Just say that. Right? Right? If you don't want to text me, don't text me, but then just say that because don't leave me in this little hanging area where it's weird. You can't just act certain way and then expect somebody to not feel a certain way. Exactly. Because we've been having this conversation, our TikTok feeds, our posts, like, you know, if he doesn't want to text you, he does not like you. If he doesn't put an effort, he does not like you all these things. We get it and we just send them to each other because we get it. You're right. You're absolutely right. We understand. Exactly. We understand men play games and they're weird. And the thing is, is that I get that if a man really wanted you, they would message you. I understand that. If a man wants you, they will show that they want you. Okay, I get it. I do get it, but it's like why you act in a certain way then when I'm here with you and then a different way over here. Like if that just doesn't make any sense, it's ridiculous. Also, I'm not stupid. I understand where I'm not wanted. And I won't stay there. I will not stay where I'm not wanted. So if you could just make that clear, you know what I mean? If you could just clear the air and be mature and just say what you want or don't want because that makes it a lot easier for the woman. It clears up all of misconception because I'll just leave them or I'll start acting accordingly. You know, I don't even understand a situation shift or a what or a moia. Like what is this like what the hell is a situation? Why not just see where it goes? Why can't it just be like you meet someone and you have fun with them? It doesn't you don't need these labels. Like we're not sitting here saying, Oh, he doesn't want to date me. So we're angry girls. That's not what we're saying. What we're saying is when you meet someone and you just want to have fun with them for some time, whatever, it doesn't need to be so serious. You don't need to put labels. You don't need to do all this, but but just have fun with it. You know what I mean? Like care for the person and see what goes go go hang out and do all sorts of fun stuff. You know, it's not so serious, but I just want to do fun stuff with someone that I respect and we like I like like I love flirting. I love the games. I love that and that's the whole point. That's the whole point. So what are your thoughts on like a on a one night stand? I am not the type of person to just sleep around with anybody. We personally don't just go out looking for random people to sleep with. That's not at all. Why would I want to sleep with somebody that I just randomly? Oh, hey, exactly. For me, that comes with a connection. Like I want a little bit of a connection there before I go and be vulnerable with you to build into that. Have to have a connection a little bit. I agree. So from a girls perspective and versus a guys perspective, how do you think like a one night stand differs? Well, once again, we're not a man. So we can't answer that, but we can try to. I think for girls, I think it is true. Girls probably do attach more easily than guys. And that's just like, oh, yeah, 100% but also as the thing, if it's just sex, that's completely different. It's when you start doing the other stuff that it becomes. Stop talking. The moment you talk, the moment that you start having conversations and you know, you take it to the next level, you have to stop right there. Okay, like if that's all you want to do. You know what you're doing, though. Like a man will know what it is. Don't be showing me your whole side of your whole personality if you don't want me to like you. Exactly. If you don't want that to come with it, because unfortunately, like we are women and that happens a little bit. For a man, a one night stand, like it's just sex. Men are not as emotional as women. Women are so emotional. And that's okay. It's good to be emotional. But we put meaning where there's none. And we also, you know, he might look at you a certain way and you might think, oh, like, no, he feels no. Just take a step back. Just take a breath. Take a step back. Understand that you mean nothing. Understand the situation. Yeah, you have to understand. And if you don't understand, then communicate about it. Like there's no, there's actually no embarrassment in asking someone, you know, what the situation is. Even though that is the most, it is, it is. It is the serious and most awkward conversation you could ever have. But people need to actually stop putting so much pressure on that. You should be able to ask somebody that you are sleeping with or whatever you are doing together to ask them, what is going on here? Or what do I mean to you? And you know what? I'll take my own advice and be doing that next time. Thank you very much. No, it's true. It shouldn't be like such a scary thing. You should be able to just ask that because what's the worst you're going to say is you're not interested. Okay, cool. I'm done. Also, if you like someone, tell them also, like, I feel like women are scared to give men compliments. And I don't know why just nine, nine, nine, 10 times. The guy actually appreciates compliments. And I don't mean, like, look wise, I mean, like, if you like something about them, tell them it's good for them to hear that because a lot of people probably don't tell them that those things are free to go up to men also and and put in the first move. And I think that's such a weird thing. Us now, we do it like not all the time, like with different people. But this year, we've been putting ourselves out there. And it's not such a big deal when I see something that I like and I want it, I will go after it. Because what's the problem with that? I don't understand why that's such a scary thing for some people. What about from like a man's perspective, counteracting what we're saying, that what about girls that are gold diggers and cheaters and go around hurting men, you know? Okay, but it goes both ways. And it's not, it's not, maybe it is majority, but there are some people that are not doing that. And you can't just, you cannot go into a relationship, whatever, whatever you are with the lady friend or man friend. You can't just go in assuming that they're sleeping around. And what I'm saying, this thing is, is a lot of women are not even sleeping around. A lot of men aren't also sleeping around. I don't really know, but I just want to say that like a real man that's focused on his goals and his future, I don't really see them being the type to go sleeping around because they have that self-respect, they're not insecure. And I hope I'm right, because I see certain people in certain lights and whether or not that's real or not, I like to think that certain people aren't doing those things based off their character. And the thing is, for myself, is when I like somebody, I actually get so unattracted to every single man that walks the planet. Like I only like that one person. No, I don't know if that's like that for a man, but for me, I don't know about you, but... Yeah. When I actually am like actually liking somebody for real, I actually back up everybody else. You don't want anyone else, anyone that approaches you, it's an immediate, it almost like grosses you out, because it's like, ooh, ooh, like I already have my man's over here. I've seen this around a lot, like a woman being her own boss and a man can't handle that. I think it's true, because a lot of men are intimidated by powerful women that don't need anything from them. I think me, I only want someone in my life that is going to add to my life and help me be a better me and I can do the same for them. I don't want a random person in my life. I don't want some random man who's just going to be around me doing random... You know what I mean? I don't want just a random man. I want someone who's going to build me up and build themselves up and we grow together. I want someone that I trust that I have respect for, someone that I can have fun with them that I love, but I think a lot of times when you are your own woman, you have your own goals, you have your own ambitions, you have your own business and things that you're working towards, they get intimidated because they... You don't need anything from them. You're not there waiting for them to take you out. You're not there waiting for them to provide for you. You don't depend on them and that maybe scares them because they... I don't know because you don't need them and then they go and they do things with other people because they're afraid to be with someone. They're intimidated. They're intimidated by a powerful woman who... Yeah, you would rather have no offense stolen out there, a cashy woman, over a powerful woman. They would rather have something easier because it's very difficult to provide for someone who has standards, someone who has expectations, someone that expects something from their partner. It's way harder to meet those expectations than it is to just let down a bunch of random people that you don't care about. That's why they can just bounce between people because it doesn't matter. Then you'll never find your wifey that you're looking for. And then don't complain about it either. Don't complain about it. There are white bees all around you. You just don't want a real woman. And you're not taking the time to get to know them either. If you just sleep with someone or you're on a very light level with them, you don't get to know that person. And that's okay depending on that's what you're looking for, but you can't expect anything out of someone or to get to know a girl or who they really are. If you're not taking the time to ask them these questions, ask them how they are. And I can promise you if you're not doing it, somebody else is. So if you're a man and you're hearing this, and not all girls are going around necessarily talking to a thousand different men, but if you are not there putting in the effort, a girl will get tired of it. No. Of course the girl is going to get tired of it, but I feel like depending on the woman, some woman lasts longer. Some woman can sit there and hold on to it and keep it that certain way. But then one day, and when a woman detaches themselves, they're never coming back. The moment a woman has that realization, they're like, no, and goodbye. And it's like, you can't get that person back. It's not happening. And I'm getting close to that. Well, women detach. I feel like women detach emotionally first. You can kind of tell when a woman is starting to detach from you. If you're not getting as much attention as you were getting before, or she's colder towards you. That woman is pulling away from you, and it's based off of your own behavior and actions. And a woman detaches emotionally first before anything. And then yeah, when she's gone, she's gone for good. Because when you don't feel wanted, you're not going to just stay there. I'm not in my life at this point. I don't want these fake things. I don't want a situation. I don't want to hook up. I don't want this. I want a real life person who I can talk to, who can better me, and I better them. And I'm there for them, and they're there for me. And a powerful couple. And you don't see that anymore. Like, I just, I don't understand why. I'm not looking, and it's not as soon looking to get married right now. It's just like, I'm not wasting my time anymore. I'm not looking for just like a little something. Like, if you don't add to me, goodbye. Because then I have priorities. I have things to focus on. And I don't need to be, I don't want to be your number one priority. I want your goals to be your number one priority. And I just add to your life. I better you as a person. And that's it. That's all I want. And if I'm not getting that, I will never settle for anything less than that. Because I don't want anything else than I have a future to look for. And I, I don't want these little games. I'm not here for the games. Oh, and then like the chase. Well, guess what? They can find chase with different bitches. I'm not doing that. Exactly. And sitting here talking up all these things about men, we are not man haters. Like we said earlier, we actually love men, but people that respect you. And you know, I'm, I'm, I love to be all giddy about certain situations and kick my feet on my back. I love, you know, it's, it's true. We, we love that. I would love to be in love and, and all these different things. But the thing is, is that it shouldn't be so complicated. If a guy likes you, yes, he will text you. And if someone wants to give you attention, they will give you that attention. And if you're not getting it, that's probably a sign that, you know, maybe they don't want you or they don't care for you as much as you thought they did. I get that. And with that comes understanding and self respect that, exactly, I'm not going to be there forever begging for attention. In fact, I will never beg for your attention because it's humiliating. It's very humiliating. But then again, on the other side of things, is that it shouldn't be so complicated. And if, you know, I want a certain thing, I should be able to ask for a certain thing, you know, like it shouldn't be embarrassing. So it's like this weird flip between someone that makes you want to be a better you, someone that makes you want to go to the gym, eat better, someone that makes you want to, you know, go make money, someone that makes you want to follow your goals and have all your ambitions, inspires you to be a better you, and you do the same for them. That is what it should be. That is, that is a healthy relationship, in my opinion. You know, you don't need to be together all the time. I'm not, I don't expect anything of you except for respect. I think I was thinking about the other day is that a lot of people when they get, you know, fucked over by a man or woman, they go out and they're like, Oh, I'm a city boy. I'm a city girl now. And they go and do all these things without summer. And they think that that's a win. That's crazy to me. This is not a win. Come on. Come on, sweetie. No. The best win if you ever want to, if, if you ever want to show someone what they lost, it's not, oh, let me post these hot selfies, blah, blah, blah, blah, go and work on yourself. Okay. Going to the club and dancing with these random man and having a hookup every weekend is not a win. It's not a revenge. It's, it's time to, that's self destruction, self, let's get some self growth, self maturity. It's time to level up and, and do work on yourself. Exactly. It's not, it's not a flex to be doing these things. It's really not. It doesn't show the man anything. If anything, it shows that they don't have that self respect. Like you're so hurt by what they did that you now have to go and do these things just to try and get back at them. They don't care. They don't care. That's the thing also. When some, when something is done, don't, don't be doing this whole like, but maybe like this and that they don't care anymore. They don't care. Once it's done, it's done. Okay. If they cared, they would have showed that in the relationship. So it's done. Okay. So what do you think of man cheats? I think there's two sides to why man cheats. Number one, I don't want to say this because I definitely don't fully agree with this, but it's something I've heard around is that men cheat because it's in their biological nature to do. I do not agree with that. That is, you know, that is actually quite a disgusting excuse to use for that. If you would love someone and you respect them, that's not even something that would cross your mind. I think men cheating, in my opinion, comes from insecurity. It comes from being healed and not knowing how to care for the woman you're with. If you have any remote thought of cheating or want for that, then you shouldn't be with a person at all. You're not going to be a boy. You are childish and you, how is someone ever supposed to work on building a future with you or anything? If you're out here behaving like this in the club, or you're out here talking to other girls and being flirtatious with all these different people, if you were talking and doing all this stuff with other people, I don't have respect for you because you're not showing me anything. You're not showing me any value that you have for yourself. And I also get it because a man can argue that, but look at the type of man you're choosing, and you're right. You're right. That comes with it too. Obviously, if you're picking someone from that goes out for clubs every weekend, you know what you're getting yourself into. Exactly. What do you think, Manchi? I think the same thing. I think insecurity, I think they're just maybe not ready. I don't, I don't know, they're just not ready to accept that type of love and that's your problem though. That's something you need to work on. And it's like, I don't know, like some people get bored in a relationship and they would rather keep that person around because it's a constant and then go and think, but please think for a second how fucked up that is. Like to say, oh, I love this woman and I love her so much, but you know, I'm just gonna fuck some other bitch because, you know, I need something new, but I want her. I love her. That's disgusting. The moment a man that she's done me, goodbye. I would never, if a man ever cheated on me, I'm not, I'm not disrespecting you. I'm not scratching your car. I'm not throwing your shit. I'm not setting yourself on fire. I am simply walking away. I'm taking myself out of you again. You don't respect me. I, I do not respect you as a person. If you choose to do that, and I'm walking away, I will never speak to you again. If you ever get cheated on, leave him. Okay, don't give him second chances. Don't leave. Okay, goodbye. Look, there's no excuse. I'm sorry. Oh, no, but I was drunk. There is no excuse. That's crazy because you could be, you could be falling over drunk. You still know, you still know. Come on. That's great. Everybody still knows cheating is a choice. It's not, oh, it wasn't really a choice, any cheating is always a choice. It is always a choice. Something I choose not to partake in. Number one, I would not, I would never cheat on somebody. If I ever wanted somebody else, then I would not be with the person that I was with. The most disrespectful thing you can ever do is be with someone that you say you love, and then disrespect them the most by literally sleeping with another person, a random person. You just had sex with a whole random person's body. You can't even begin to say that you love someone if you cheat on them. Sorry, like, that's just mindblowing. I actually want a man's perspective of why they, why they cheat. Why do you think that maybe you don't think it's okay, but obviously you think it's okay to keep that woman around, that you claim you love, and then you cheat. Like, I want to know why you cheat. And if you say it was because I get bored, then you're actually fucked up. Like, any reason at all, the whole series. The woman. What are your thoughts on 50/50? Like, what do you mean, 50/50? Like, giving men and women going 50/50 on fill-in the bill, or, or just in general? Like, what do you think a first date expectation should be when you go out with a man? For me, I don't want to say I expect the man to pay, but if I'm getting asked on the date by the man, then yes. I will still have my wallet there because I have no problem paying for my own half, or either for you. But like, if it's like a first date and he's like asking you on a date, they should want to feel like the man should be paying. Um, but for 50/50, I think that I think it, I think that when you're in a relationship, there should be no, you should want to pay for some of the things, or like, there's no problem for me to pay, like, I'll pay this time. You know, like, it's like, I don't expect you to pay for me, but also when you like someone, you should want to be doing that for them. Like, say, for example, I, I go on a first date with a man. If you don't even think I'm worth the investment of on a first date, my first impression of you, and you don't even think I'm worth the investment of a dinner, how am I ever going to consider being with you? How am I ever going to consider getting married to you down the line, having, having bills to pay for a house? Like, how am I ever going to, how am I ever going to imagine a future with a man who doesn't even think that I'm worth the investment of a first impression dinner? That's something to consider. So let's just say, what would your ideal first date be? Like, where would you go? Oh, here's a couple of things. I'm a type of person who likes to have fun, so I want to go to the beach. Like, I want to go and have fun at the beach, or like, let's go do something. Let's go jump, cliff, cliff jumping. Let's go. There's something adventurous, something fun. But if we're talking like dinner, I like steak and mashed potatoes. So we like to say in my line for a steak and mashed potato, okay? Or like, a nice pasta, or, you know, a hamburger is fine. It doesn't matter. I just want to be with you. I think a lot of guys put pressure and think, oh, I have to provide so much on the first date, these women or some high maintenance. No one's expecting you to pay a $500 bill. I don't need to have all these drinks. I don't need to have all the food. No. The thing is, I just want to spend time with you. It is just, I want to spend time with you. I also don't care. How do you feel? A lot of this is like a controversial thing. I don't care to have my door open for me. Like, do you care about that? Like, do you want your door open? I don't really need someone to open the door for me or show up with flowers or something. If that's what you want to do, then that's, that's cool. I guess I say that because I've never really had that type of treatment. So maybe it would be really nice to have that, but I don't, I don't necessarily need that for you. We just want to spend time with you. Exactly. I just want you to like actually be present in the moment and like, you have a good time. If a man respects you, they will communicate with you. And those are certain things that I'm not settling on because I know who I am. I know what I'm looking for. If you cannot provide that, just say that and move on. Yeah. My last advice for you, do know your worth. Don't settle for less. Have some self respect. When it's time, when a man is not treating you right, as hard as it is, let go. You will be okay. You'll be fine. Trust me. You will. My last reminder is believe it. If a man is not giving you the attention you want or they're not reaching out to you or they're not keeping their word, just in general, if someone is wishy washy, take it as a no. Just believe it because there is where there's one person that won't care for you the way you want to be cared for. There is another one that will and as hard as that can be to sometimes come to terms with. I don't know. It's a beautiful thing to be flirty and be all, you know, have fun with someone. So don't take it so serious also. You know, it's not, it's really not the end of the day. Just go have fun with, you know, someone. I feel like when you have, like we're on a new chapter in our life and we have like so much like self-growth and like self-love, it's just like we're ready to just like stop these petty games and like let's just have some fun. Exactly. Because like you know the type of person you are, like you know you're worth, you know what you're capable of, like you know you're a good person. Exactly. I know I'm a good person. I know all these things that I believe in and I know they can't do it. They can't. They, I don't know. Self-love is powerful and you need some of that or relationship to work. It's because I'm ready to be a real human being. I'm not into games. I'm not, I'm so unattracted to games and inconsistency. If you're a man, it's okay for you to open up to your lady friend, whatever you guys are. It doesn't make you weak. A woman actually likes when a guy opens up. So because men, men are vulnerable as well and I think a lot of men think that they have to be cold and they have to be reserved and all, all of this, that's not true. Women like men who are just real people, real being, you have emotions, you're vulnerable and you can show those emotions. You know, no one wants someone that's hard as a rock all the time. That's not even a real human being. What's the point of being with that? Just be real. Just be real. Be open, communicate. It's okay to, it's okay to be a real human being and be vulnerable because the vulnerability is attractive. If you made it to the end of the video, thank you for watching. We'll be back next Wednesday with a new episode. We'll see you next Wednesday. See you next week. Have a great week. Bye.
This week we really get into detail about what it’s like being 2 single women in the modern dating world. Our thoughts on hookup culture, cheating on your partner & what women really want on a first date…