Warriors against, and maybe for, imperialism
Wheelmen
The Twentieth Episode
all right oh that was good yeah I put on put on some incense I lit some incense we're my house during say hello hello [Music] very good oh hell yeah English shit watching some BBC stuff I'm like a I'm an anglophile man yeah I mean if there's one thing that Jordan D loves its imperialism do love it is one thing I love is colonialism did I love it when people colonize shit I like to decolonize just so that you know I'm all about like decolonization just so like other people can go in and you like have their shot at it yeah yeah I'm really excited for the Germans to take over a fucking a Palestine dude yeah oh my god can you imagine just give it to the fucking French yeah um you didn't say anything about my yard we I did would you say because you did the one out back or front well front oh the one out front you know what I went up to it and you saw me look at it yeah because that's not as tall as you you were a real talker you did that's not like that's not like saying anything some flowers get real tall you remember that time that one sound so I uh remember that one time when I was a kid what no remember that one time I planted that some flower that ended up growing like huge and I was living at at Jesus house and the city yeah cut it down or something well they came in yeah like like find him around how big was that some it was big I mean it literally said on the one person or big for like no it says on the package like ginormous huge sunflower I mean those can get like eight nine feet tall and they have like the really big like heads let me put it this way I I saw like a regular they look like a regular sunflower and then like two weeks later I was like holy shit what the fuck happened here do my my aunt used to grow like the giant sunflowers I had like the really big heads and it would freak me the fuck out when I would go to her house like legit I would like talk to you or something no no I would get scared as fuck cuz like she grew them so it's like the house and then there's the back porch yeah and then she had like a line of them next to the back porch so they would pop up over like the banister of the back porch you know what I'm saying yeah but then like they had a really you know nice sized backyard and then there was like alley like street lights behind their yard yeah so the the light from the alley would like come shining through the window you know I'm saying yeah so if it was windy you would look out their fucking back window and it would just look like there's dudes like swaying back and forth cuz these fucking sunflowers were like six seven feet tall with these big heads just like some children of the corn ass like mr. Burns like I can see how that was it was it was like freaking fuck out like how old are we talking uh late elementary to like yeah late middle to maybe early high school that's it that's around in the time like those kind of things really freak you know yeah like when you're in you're just like randomly in the dark and you'll see some like you'll just see some nothing moves but your eyes plays tricks on you and you're like holy shit oh no like it's it's for me it's always the shit out of like the corner of my yeah exactly it's always this shit that makes me have to like look over me like what the fuck is that like a coat like one of those coat hangers and you're like uh-oh and it's you think it's moving but it's just not I don't know so at my at my job right now someone found like a plastic life-sized rat right so it's like this big uh-huh and they've been like trying to pull pranks on other people in the building yep as you do so you'll just like go into a room or like turn a corner in a hallway and they'll just be like a rat in your face and it gets me like half the time yeah I mean he sounds like my kind of guy like that that's I used to do that with like snakes I'd have like a like a fake snake and I would like put it places like like in a man's butt no no I would like put it in the car you know and you know it wouldn't it wouldn't work you know oh I did try it on my sister one time I put it under her covers and then so like when she like flips up her covers to go to bed at night there's a snake yeah but most people get in their covers at night so yes and you just feel something plastered like what the hell is this yeah no we um oh the best is the fake poop dog poop because my dog or my not my dog my dad hates when the dog poops so I've done that to just put in general not only in the house just in the house the idea of a dog shitting makes it so nice and keep it in your body forever yeah I paid so much money for this farmer's dog but yeah so one of the good ones that we had at work was there was like one of those miniature like a like stuffed it's not like a doll you know what I mean it's probably like two feet long but it's like a witch you know and so people would do that like in like the bathrooms where you would just like you know you're walking the bathroom we turn on the light and then there's just like a little witch like figure sitting on the fucking toilet and it would get me yeah it would get me every once in a while yeah I'm trying I'm definitely prone to jump scares yeah I growing up I've always been kind of like a guy no man trying to like do pranks I'm I'm always trying to do pranks but my pranks over the years have changed and they they went from like trying to do cool shit as a kid like like that snake thing or the poop oh shit like a fake snake to like like in the summertime just being around my friends with sandals and like dumping a bottle water on their feet and be like oh yeah look at that you know and they'd be like why the fuck did you do that that's like not even a prank I know it's annoying yeah that's like hey you want to see this cool prank that I do and then you just like throw a bucket of paint on someone guys get it it's funny yeah but now I just try not to do here's the thing I get I get these urges in my mind to do something and then I won't do it because I'm like I'm 36 don't do what you want to do right now you know I mean don't ever limit yourself to what you want to do but also no come up with better print here's what I do actual pranks and not just like you know what I think would be funny I'm going to annoy my friend who just got off work well what I do now it's also too hot really stupid now so like at the office I'll like I'll I'll draw a finger like a middle finger on a piece of paper and I'll crumble it up and I'll go like behind another person's like little area and I'll toss it at them while they're like not looking so it hits them and then I'll run away and then they like you know they'll be like you're smiling so hard right now because I'm just thinking of like all the times I do it and every time they're just like what the fuck why did you do that I'm like yeah but see that's that is very cute and fun if you want to be like this little scampering office that's a that's a really good way to put it yeah yeah you're literally just like you're a little mischievous little no man yeah some one time I've also taken a picture of myself doing a middle finger and then I'll I'll be like hey hey dude look at this cool art piece I did and I would like scroll through my actual art pieces but then I would bring it to the picture of me doing that and they'd be like oh man you got me you'll see if it wasn't for woke you could be doing that with a picture of your penis or poop now see I used this is the 90s would be I used to do a similar thing to that but with like poops mm-hmm I had like a bunch of friends and we just thought it was really funny to show each other pictures of our shits mm-hmm but you had to like not just be like hey look at my that to be impressive right yeah but also yeah but he but just you would like trick them but not really sweet do a lot of like hey man look at like the I went on this trip to like when I got an iPhone be like yeah look at this like a trip I took to like a high rock and then it'd be like three pictures of high rock and then just like a picture of like a huge shit in it oh yeah dude do that I thought I thought you were gonna say like you had like a bunch like and you guys would just like share them like like trading cards you know you know I wish look how big this one like the big the girth the fucking color you know and now although I did I did know a couple guys for a while and we would send each other pictures of oh just under like just above our penises so you couldn't see the actual penis yeah we're just like peeing in a toilet yeah but do it like really drunk like three o'clock in morning and then just have a good group chat was just like piss yeah man that that was a thing you know it is showing that to someone considered like messed up now like just poop you were to show I think you would be equivalent to like a dick pick I think you would have to definitely establish either direct or implied consent with like you're cool enough to get a poop pick or like you would find this funny like I wouldn't do it to someone that I just met but if it's someone I knew who would at least like gross like but like in a jovial way yeah but there's I know a lot of people were like I'm never gonna show you a picture of my poop yeah and that's because you have a character flaw not yeah exactly that's your problem not mine bucco yeah what are you doing nothing don't worry about it oh man you're really tan right now yeah man I just bought a bunch of these sun shirts is that what you're wearing is that a sun shirt it's fucking sick dude so what their life changers they their SPF 50 and like yeah they're long sleeve but they're really light and they they bounce light off yeah that's what SPF does yeah it's awesome I mean that's cool like long's long-sleeve shirts it's a little hood you know it has a hood okay it looks I take it back now that looks really dumb don't use the hood I'm using the hood dude the back of my neck looks insane at this in the summer time I'm sure like the the contrast between the top of my neck and like where the shirt is underneath it's like you need to wear a better hat but that looks dumb with the hood up like a long-sleeve shirt you know it looks good dude I do know it looks good I know it looks good so much that don't even try dude no my my favorite move my favorite look is the long-sleeve shirt with shorts that's like the best the best look yeah it's it's almost like it doesn't belong no it definitely does it's just like cool it's like giving like Laguna Beach vibes you know what I mean but it's got to be that nice like you know it's got to be that nice fabric oh I'm going to the beach soon and when I'm there I'm that's all I do yeah get some sun shirts you know they're cheap too I mean like even like does it have holes in the wrist for your thumb it does to cover your I don't like any of these okay no this is it's because your hand gets sunburned too bro so it's to help with that Jordan if you okay I swear to God put your put your other thumb in please what are you talking about no do but do you both your little thumb holes okay now put your hood up okay mm-hmm I don't see what the point is here well because you look like spider Gwen spider what spider Gwen spider Gwen yeah when Wednesday see become spider I mean an alternate spider and stuff you also kind of look like someone who wants to be an Assassin's Creed but in reality you got pregnant in high school like if that is a crazy a lot of fishermen wear this so you could be like you know they the assassin a bunch of fish that's where you're trying to go for you know I don't know dude that looks so it looks like we're at Oticon right now and you're trying to like cuminous to have sex with you and your girlfriend oh man it's too hot to really think right now yeah it's been like fucked up yeah it's been like fucked up at work as you know because you've also been working outside yeah we've had like some clients you had to like soft shut down my thing what are people gonna do when it does look cuz at some point it is going to be too hot to be outside like sizz but like capitalism is going to be like who gives a fuck yeah fuck you and you know but what's gonna happen you know I mean I mean I don't have like an actual answer for that because I have I'm nervous about it I'm not because probably like ten years away before it's like I don't know I mean there are there are places on this planet that consistently have hotter a hotter temperature like generally speaking but also in like a hotter climates and like more equatorial than Maryland and people are you know they live we just have to adapt you know what I mean that's true so like in that sense like I'm not you should stop being such pussies well you should stop being a pussy and stop buying son shirts how many sun shirts did you buy I bought four so I need one more to complete the week I hate that you're being completely honest and earnest about this I got one more actually I bought I bought one from Bass Pro how much are you really like they're actually really cheap dude this one was $16 I bought one for $25 as you go up is it more or less expensive to have a full sleeve and not the the thumb hole they almost all come with the thumb hole because the point of the shirts is to protect your skin from the sun I don't know man it looks like you right fucking use it man before Christmas fucking fan fiction you don't have to use it but the fact that I have it you're not getting pussy in that shirt dude well luckily I don't need to try I don't need to get pussy cuz I'm a crow but yeah I don't know I enjoy it and that's all that matters yeah and that I can make fun of it really honestly but no it's it's going to get hotter everywhere and it sucks but we'll be we won't be fine well I am confident that we will adapt and that is because I don't want to get like climate nihilism to like make my anxiety go so bad that I just like sit in a garage with my cry I'm listening to Alice and chains and kill myself you know I mean right so I fourth is pretty hot what'd you do I just went sprolicking downtown sprolicking you mean frolicking or sprawled out those are two different things I appreciate that smoosh though sprolicking is a good smoosh of yeah frolicking because you frolic and then you find a little spot to lay down so you can take out a lot of space doing like the John Lennon like silly walk type of thing yeah it was nice though kind of missed the fireworks because we ended up going back to a buddy's house we thought we could see him from there and you could but it wasn't like the best view or anything yeah but yeah July 4th is was oddly like weird this year because it was right after those it was like right after the debates you know and like yes I didn't everyone everyone's kind of just like I did engage with the debates I didn't bother I watched the debates and then immediately after the debates I was like I gotta go to Trader Joe's I went to Trader Joe's and I was like all right what are the options you're like hey look at these vegetables on TV you know what that reminds me of I need to go buy some bok choy no dude you didn't get my joke I don't get a trader Joe's I don't get a trade Joe out for a different Joe that's so bad I enjoy it I mean that's okay when you explain it the premise isn't awful but we really need to workshop that delivery yeah I was nervous to deliver it I trade or Joe trade you could then like trade this Joe trade that Joe whatever I don't think they're gonna trade this Joe's I mean Trump's gonna win let's be very clear about that yeah huh huh so it does see yeah well because there's no not we're not going to get I don't want to get too political in general but there's there's no way that Joe Biden will win yeah there's no reason I mean it's it's insane that they're even entertaining the idea of a man that old who legitimately has fucking grits for brains yeah running it was so dumb for them to run it was good fucking insane and then also you're gonna get people pissed off who will remember when he won and was like I'm only gonna do one term yeah so like that's a whole thing we're like what happened buddy um but they're not going to be able to switch them out because there's no one to switch to like until sweat and they're gonna be like well why not obviously we know why not Kamala but like everyone would be like well why didn't you just put Kamala and she's obviously because no one gives a shit like no right but it would be like backstabbing right because she's supposed to be the next one up in line what if something were to happen to Joe so obviously she would be the choice of Joe dropped out you know I mean it's just that theoretical she should be but I'm saying how mad would she be and then a lot of people in the administration right now be if you bypass that and just picked some random person at the convention or something sure and that's the whole thing also is like and her polls don't do any better by the way they do a lot worse buddy I saw I saw some like talking head guys kind of like trying to find like a political strategy for the Democrats in it the most viable ones seem to be like Kamala and Mayor Pete running David Byrne really talked a bunch about this is like yes David Byrne that's actually not a bad joke buddy it's actually not bad I bet he's probably like a registered Democrat yeah he's he's he's actually got a really big anti-union thing going on that we could talk about at some point it's really bad interesting that sucks yeah has to do it Broadway he's trying to do a Broadway show but he's trying that so all the all the live musicians they're in a union with Broadway so like right yeah he wants to do a show trying a union bust for he is trying a union bust because he's trying to do a show that that doesn't use the live music people and they're and they're just trying he's just trying to do like like you know just regular music played out of whatever you know I don't know a lot about David Byrne I used to do hair went to some of his songs which was like fun for me but the two things that I kind of like come to mind when I think of him one is that like I'm pretty sure he's from here yeah but then like but then like denies or doesn't like talk about yeah he went to Lansdowne yeah high school yeah my mom literally was in the same grade went to school with him and she always talk she always says I don't know what her friend's name is but she she let's just say her name is Bertha she was like Dan she said Bertha from she's a Bertha she's a Bertha dated him and I was always like oh my God how can you date him he's got so much acne that's so funny and she she she showed me her yearbook and he's in he's in the yeah I mean he's from around here but he has like no Maryland pro he like doesn't rep Maryland or greater bolt you know I mean to any of that stuff so kind of fuck him but when I was in college I took a couple like ethnomusicology classes you know it's like the intersection of like social sciences and music and the connection between the two and how you can extend cultural learning and cultural understanding through like art and specifically music and blah blah blah and David Byrne was one of the leading figures in that like academic discipline once the talking heads blew up right and he got really into like traveling to like what you would call third world nations yeah and like recording their like music as a way of like and then stealing it like preservation and shit yeah you know I mean but it always seemed to me to be like rather disingenuous as like I'm doing something for like the historical record and kind of it seemed to be sort of like his version of like pretentious art kid record collecting thing of course you know what I mean yeah we're like I just imagine him being something on the lines of like oh that's a really cool song but uh I'm gonna put on this record that I recorded in Papua New Guinea of this tribe that only has 17 members left and they all do guttural singing let's be clear we're all human and we all kind of are in it for ourselves right the whole world is just kind of in it for themselves I don't know if that's necessarily true I think so I don't and that's why you're liberal and I'm a communist cuz it's a stark divide but anyway David Byrne always seemed kind of like a pretentious fuck yeah me you know I mean I like the talking heads down there cool my dad actually when he lived in New Jersey because my dad is very old and he was like he was kind of a normie when he lived you know what I mean in Jersey and he would work in and around New York and shit and so he had told me that he went to he went to CBGB twice like with his like work buddies or whoever who's hanging out with to see bands and one of the bands that he saw was the talking heads like back back back back in their early days like back in the day when he used to wear that suit before that no this is like before they were famous before the big suit you know this is like when they were just like abandoned in New York or whatever and he said he like went to like he went to a show was like sitting at the bar and talking heads came up and they're like hey we're the talking heads we we live across a song back then like burning down the dorm because it was so back when it was he was probably in college that's like a five out of ten buddy no but the whole point is that my dad who you didn't insane insane visual representation of in one of the videos that's how it looks like did no you've never seen my dad I was in your dad my father does not look at my father is it's like extremely handsome really what's wrong with that guy that I drew you these hands he looks like melting ice cream that you dropped on the ground no it's fine you're you're trying to be a look at our in go go look at our animations if to to know what we're done yeah I can talk about my aging father and you're gonna be disrespectful you know David Byrne always kind of there's like there's like a class of musicians that I suppose now would be like classic rock just due to their age yeah but like they aren't like the classic record like REM is kind of in the same way yeah it was like REM and talking heads and like like late 80s what do you call that what do you call it I don't know if that's like art synth rock whatever but like I feel the same way about like Peter Gabriel and like Phil Collins and stuff where it's like mm-hmm all these guys like have these like frothing at the mouth fan bases right and like I didn't grow up listening to it so I know a couple of each of their songs but like I don't give a fuck about REM yeah the best thing are the REM guy did was be friends with Amy Sedaris and was on her show sometimes you know I mean like but I've always thought that like those that school of music and people who's like that's my favorite artist I always felt it to be like there's some pretentious in like a very misguided way with Depeche Mode be in there they're playing here soon I love them dude you wanna see him potentially oh yeah I would consider it depending on ticket prices yeah I mean there's a lot I will either want to see them Ronda Rope well under oath is under oath is sold out as we know but we could go see Nick Mullen DC that night that would be cool too yeah we'll talk about that later I have some buddies who are going okay but it's out of theater so it's like we'd have to get see we'll figure it out yeah I am down to do something that the what's at the W or something right the Wilson there or some shit but I would love to go see my my favorite famous former co-worker Nick Mullen yeah that's right yeah we used to work in the basement it was very yeah he worked in the basement of the symphony it was very funny last time I saw him I like brought that up and he was like oh shit you work there I was like yeah man and like I feel bad explaining this joke it is so stupid but part of like the weird like come town shit is that people always talk about them and specifically Nick as like my close first personal friend Nick Mullen like that's like the joke everyone says like my best friend Nick Mullen all right I mean it's like a big Reddit and like I didn't know that yeah yeah um and so then I was kind of like don't worry Nick I'll never do that I was kind of like ironically to the people I was with was like my best friend and former co-worker Nick you know what I mean like as a joke and then when I went up to him and we were kind of talking for a second and he was like he didn't like know who I was obviously yeah and then he said something about it and and I was like yeah I was like on a bunch of hair went at the time and you were just drunk as fuck he's like yeah I was you know what I mean I was like I definitely saw you in the building because like you guys would come to me to buy your parking tickets so like I definitely saw you before you you know what I mean but I just was like oh who's this drunk idiot and my friends were like he didn't recognize you he doesn't know who you are and I was like yeah that's that's the fucking joke god but it is very funny that we did work in this like very small specific place like right he was leaving us coming in but that would be cool to go see but I wouldn't consider Duran Duran or like and I love tears for fears I would not consider tears for fears to be in that same category of like pretentious music people where it's like blowing that line between like music and art you know what I mean yeah where it's like I don't give a shit but that was the thing back then you know it was a thing what let that let that little shit go you know oh no it's fine and now that they're like older and still touring and still doing stuff like again like I would see Duran Duran just to say that I saw them you know I'm pissed that I didn't go see tears for fears when I like had tickets when they did like a free father's they show like a couple years ago yeah but like oh no it'd be fun yeah we have time for movie time we're gonna do that later we don't have time for movie time we don't have so sad that's okay so what do you have you got anything you see what you're gonna say buddy um so okay I want to talk a little bit about the the French election things because I don't really know anything about it and I was blindsided because at one point I was uh that's okay yeah at one point I was like I got notifications on my phone they were they were basically the you know the the national front or whatever is gonna win and Marine Le Pen is gonna be the new president over there whatever because they did a really well in round one and I was like oh shit that really sucks and then like then like I don't know a few days later it was like the left is destroyed I'm like what the fuck I did there a man being front like a French like right-wing tool like piece of shit yeah and the right-wing lost the election and then today was it today France got kicked out of the Euro Cup oh that would suck yeah it was either today or the I forget when it was but they're they're out damn that's I think yeah I think it's Netherlands and yeah and yeah here's your storm are over there the late party went one over there too so it's interesting you know over here things suck but over there seems like they also suck Jordan say bye we're going to Patreon now. 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