Seated With Lebo and Thato Rampedi

Breakups, The Guilt of Moving On and First Dates

Join us as we explore the ups and downs of relationships and breakups! We'll discuss how to know when it's time to break up with someone, the stages of heartbreak (from shock to acceptance), and why we often feel guilty for moving on. Plus, we'll share tips on how to rediscover yourself and find love again. Don't miss this candid conversation about love, loss, and learning!

Duration:: 1h 0m
Broadcast on:: 03 Jul 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

We know that the youth is so quick to, like, you know, move on to the next talking stage, move on to the next romantic partner, we're all in love with the honeymoon phase, but then the older generation is telling us, like, "Yo, the youth, you guys are too excited to, like, hold on, go through the pain, once you pass the three-year mark and you overcome all of these barriers and you're able to see that, like, you know, you know how the problems solve when it comes to communication, when it comes to issues and all these things, then you really get to true love." But it's like, how do you know when you just know the right person for you, or maybe you're not the right person for someone at that current time? My friend, I'm what likes to say, you need to treat your friendships the same way, the same respect, the same love that you treat a relationship, because if you don't communicate, if you don't check in, all those things, what type of relationship is it? You know what I'm saying? So when you do fall into your friendships, make sure that you, even when you are in relationships, you understand that you still have accountability to be there, because a lot of men, what they do is that when they break up, when they feel like their relationship is at the end. They hold on and then they cheat, and then they treat their partner badly, and they lose respect for their partner, and they lose care and time and dedication, and you know, and they lose the ability to create a safe space for their partner. And I would rather always, 10 times out of 10, choose to break up with the person, then live in a toxic environment with them. [MUSIC] Hi guys. Yo, welcome back to a brand new episode of seat to the level, and Tata Rumpeti, I am your host, Tata Rumpeti, this is... I'm liberal Rumpeti, yeah. You're not a host. Yeah, it's time to grab your favorite seat, I haven't said this in so long, but it's time to grab your favorite seat to be your two favorite brothers, guys. We are a podcast that believes in bettering oneself, and also just having a good time while doing it, bro. What's Rumpeti laughing while doing it? And today, we're gonna take like a different route. I don't know if you guys can see, we're very warm. We're very warm. Yeah, we're comfortable. It'll go easy. You know, we realize that we really struggle to shoot the podcast because we do so many other things, like as Magita pushing, that was a full-time job. I've got a full-time creative job as Tata Rumpeti, and like, no man, we should be comfortable. So we're gonna give out this set of chance. Yeah, you guys will just know if you like like it, you don't. Yeah, we only have travel because like, we decided to just give two angles to try. We can't do a third angle because like, it's just very difficult. Maybe if we try other creative things, but we want it to be comfortable, man, and I'm very comfortable. I'm perfect. I mean, you're in a fat sock. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in a car, which is very, very comfortable. Yeah, I want a Tata Rumpeti, it's tough, guys. Is it a scarf? It's a good scarf, yeah, it's a scarf. Somewhere. Zara. Zara, Zara. It's very nice. Yeah. Thank you. You look amazing, by the way. Yes, I appreciate that. So if you guys don't know, I've really tried to improve my fashion, man, and my style. So today I was like, give me go for a semi-smart look or like a small casual look. Yeah. Yeah, man, because I wanted to come through to you guys. Well, sorry for not posting for quite some time. Stress less. Like, we are online. Yeah, we're back. We are back. We are very excited to be rolling. Yeah, man, it's getting just seated. Yo, so of course, I think there's a topic that we all have touched on multiple times, but each different time, it just becomes a bit more personal, it has a different experience, which is of course, breakups. I think right now in the season of life, things are very tough, things are shaky. So I wanted to just, actually, it was my idea to have this whole theme, just have a conversation about it and just talk about it. I find our conversations have a lot of healing parts to it. So I thought that this would be a very great idea to just show you going through a breakup. I'm currently going through a breakup. Okay, cool. Wow. Yeah. I'm currently going through a breakup. This should bring healing to you. But before that, guys, you guys are the first question one has asked, how are you? How did you become too? I was very eager to go into this conversation. I'm so eager. It's very exciting to see you. How am I? I'm okay. I'm fine. You see you're in shades. Yeah. We're in beanie dressing better. It just looks healthy. Yeah. The skin is amazing. Thanks. God bless you. Amen. I receive. Let me talk. How am I? I'm okay. I think I've been very, like, 30 pieces, Joe. Like I've been very spread thin because of the fact of, like, the portfolio right now is crazy. Like, it's a lot of things on paper. It's the job. Oh, yeah. It's a podcast. It's as magita. It's my personal brand and things that I have to do. My business is managing, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So it's been quite hectic and, like, doing it all with other partners has been very, very, very stressful because I think a lot of what helped me down was actually, like, my partnerships and all those individual things. Yeah. But-- In what sense, like, would you fall into the relationship for-- You know, sometimes there's a-- just that person can tell you when to, like, show. I think I'm, like, a 24/7, like, robot. Yeah. So I don't know when to say stop. But now I have to teach myself and stuff like that. But besides that, I'm OK, man. I'm learning to just be, yo, find out. Let's overcomplicate. Yeah. Like, live live. You're feeling me. Yeah. 100%. What about you? How are you? I'm great. [LAUGHTER] It was so funny because we were shooting, thought that just two nights ago, two nights, yeah. And on the membership part of it, we were speaking more about, like, what we're currently going through going into, like, deep detail about my life and, like, there's a bunch of assumptions going around. We're going deep in it. And I was, like, on thought that yourself was, like, I'm actually not great. Yeah, I'm, like, I'm great. [LAUGHTER] Which is very contradictory. But I think I'm good, man. I'm happy with how the past two days have been going. I think we always do this thing when we look at last month, the past three months, the past four months. But it's so important to be able to acknowledge that you've had a good week, and I've had a really good week. I've got to see my friends last night, I've been blessed with work, you know, I've been working with a photo call, I'm working with English, Blazer, like, I'm blessed right now. So all the hard work you put between January and June is showing off. So I feel good when it comes to work and business, I feel good when it comes to my happiness, you know, my community. We've cultivated such a beautiful community, like, maybe you per see the guys, we bold every single Wednesday. So that also feels really good, because it's a nice midweek break. Like, you guys know, as Magito was formed through friendships. So it's like every weekend we would hang out, and I was like, now we're going to hang out and work together. Work together because we all love creating and make money. So it's just like becoming even more beautiful and it's becoming very fruitful for all of us. So I'm great, man. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I like that little statement you said about, like, you know, even though we like analyzed like demand and like the year, et cetera, it's good to say, like, you know, this week is actually been fine. Yeah. I had a good week, man. Yeah, bro. Yes. There was a lot of demons. They were demonic spirits coming from all corners, but like outside of that. But you protected boy. Highly favored. Highly favored. Highly protected. You know, God has my back. Like even now, I live when I like before we shoot him before we're live, like, I was just going through something. I started praying. It's just that brothers started praying in five seconds. I nearly fell to my knees just to like assist. You know what I mean? Like, okay. He's going to just start praying. God's going to be like that. He's brothers in the room. He's watching him pray. He's not doing anything about it. I was like, yo. Like there's like, there's many moments where like if I'm overwhelmed, you just pray. I just prayed. You think I was joking when I prayed. Well, it was by the microwave. You think I think it's a joke? Like I went to the microwave and I was like, yo, a preacher's helped me like protect me in those moments. But that's so real though, yo. Like because sometimes it's good for you to offload your problems. Yeah. So like I use prayer like in moments, sometimes I'll just be doing this, but I'm praying because I'm like, I can't deal with this thing alone. Like I live and serve like an amazing God. I'm not going to stand here. Yeah. Let the Guru just watch me exist. Hey dog, help me out. Help me out. Help me out. It's not easy. What's up? Yeah. But yeah guys, I'm really excited for today's episode. Like I was saying, we're discussing what's next after a breakup. But before that, I want to know like, how do you know when it's time to break up with somebody? Like we know that the youth is so quick to like, you know, move on to the next talking stage. Move on to the next romantic partner, we're all in love with the honeymoon phase. But then the older generation is telling us like, yo, the youth, you guys are too excited. Hold on. Go through the pain. Once you pass the three year mark and you overcome all of these barriers and you're able to see that like, you know, you know how to problem solve when it comes to communication, when it comes to issues and all these things, then you really get to true love. But it's like, how do you know when you just know what the right person for you? Or maybe you're not the right person for someone at the current time. I think, I think, well, before we even like get into that, I think it's very important to say that no one gets into a relationship thinking, oh, I want this to end one day. Oh, yes. Truly true. Yeah. I think I want to say that first because I think a lot of people, no one ever goes into relationships saying, oh, by the way, I hope this is going to hurt me and punish me. Oh, yes. Yeah. Like, I just want to contest you there. Yeah, go ahead. Because I've heard you in your previous relationships and like, oh, yeah, I'm not going to marry this person. Yeah. So you're anticipating it ending. Yeah, I know. You hope that you can marry the potential of who they'll become dangerous. So but you see the foundation as like, oh, like this person's really great, but the potential of who they could become is what you really are attracted to. But like, yeah, I want to say first before answering that question, like, no one ever goes into relationships saying, like, I wish to hurt this person beyond measure and do a character-defining moment in their life. No. I'm going to teach them, show them. Teach them, show them. And I want to say breakups are unexpected, you know, like breakups are unexpected. I think people have this concept that like, when you're ready to break up of someone, you're going to just shy. Like, okay, it's over. Like, I'm ready. Like, but in reality, breakups is when it's at that point in the relationship when you can look at it and say like, oh, I don't think I serve this or it serves me. Okay. And that's a very unexpected feeling. You could wake up next to your partner and she just, not turn into a moment. And you're just there like, what's going on? You're like, you're like, I didn't know this about you. And that, that, that building of resentment pulls into you until that one day of like, that unexpected day of just looking at your partner and saying, actually, I believe that I could be better without this. Have you ever been in a situation where you're with a romantic partner and you start getting on more by things they do and you start seeing your relationship ending and you're able to overcome? You talk about the phase when the brother hates his girlfriend. Yeah. The phase where maybe you've seen that the relationship is at risk, right? Yeah. Have you ever been able to overcome that moment or obviously, no, because that's that whole concept. That whole concept. Yeah. Like, that whole concept of saying like when a brother like hates his girlfriend is such a wild thing to me. I think every girl I've ever been with, I've adored, bro. Yeah. So I'm not referring to you hating your partner, right? Like, I'm saying, like, when you get this, it's always points in a relationship where you're like, this might not work out. Yeah. Have you ever been, have you ever been able to overcome a moment where you saw the relationship was at risk and you felt like this thing might end and then it didn't? Yeah. I think, yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Definitely. There were things where like, for example, with my previous partner, she was the most, she is sorry. There's a strongest woman I know because she always had the ability to look at a problem and be like, ah, dude, this won't phase us, right? But I think I was so in depth with like feelings, for example, you know what I'm saying. So I think, yeah, like, it is possible to get annoyed with certain things and be like, yo, this might engine and overcome it, but you also have to understand, like, where did those problems derive from? Now, what is the source of this might end coming up? Yeah. Yeah. I hate to when I'm in a relationship when I get to the point where I can feel like it's going to end because I'm like, what? You're like, what? What am I doing here? I do. Like, it's just, I just got, I just got, yeah, like, I just arrived and just arrived. I just arrived. That's so real. Yeah. I'm very painful, bro, because like, we like, obviously all have traits and characteristics that prevent us from true heating in a relationship, right? And what I mean by that is that, like, you have a problem with your partner, you will think you overcome it, but all you're doing is sweeping under the rug. Yeah. Now, as like, young people, we keep sweeping things under the rug and unfortunately, from all that sweeping, we then start building resentment and then we start, you know, loving the person and in a different way or not loving them as intense days we used to, causing us to get to moments where you now irritated by your partner, you know, pulling the blankets in before you be like, baby, come on. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because you put it at the end of the rug. So whenever I get to the point where I'm like, yo, I see, I might, I think this thing might end. I hate it because I know every single relationship that I've been in, when I feel like this thing is not going to work out, I end up prolonging it, not working out and it ends up, end up breaking out. Yeah. Yeah. We weren't able to resolve those things in the past and they've both have such a high level of resentment or such a high level of, of pain, such a high level of holding back that now that they will continuously be, you know, effect in the relationship, you know. So like, I've never been able to overcome that moment where I think the relationship might end. Can I ask you a question? Okay. Cool. I think with a breakup, there's a huge theme of letting go and, you know, moving on, you know, in medias, it's, it's, it's like very popular. This whole concept of if you break up with someone, you must never speak to them again. And I want to ask you, because obviously in traditional media, it's like that popular thing of like, ah, if you're not together, we're not together, you're gone out of my life. Yeah. But that detachment of someone who held so much value and weight in your life, I think people make it seem like it's such an easy task to just be like, ah, dude, now the baby are we broken up? I'm not going to speak to it for a game, but it's like, dude, this was someone who was part of your 365. Yeah, bro. And on that, so I went on to the question, but before I want to say like, what the steps of a breakup are according to like a source and article that I read. So and this also will also help you answer your question. Yeah. The first one is shock and state of denial. The second one is pain and anguists or like, you can even say anger. Guilt and bargaining is the third one, depression is the fourth one, and upward turn is the fifth one. And then the sixth one is reconstruction and acceptance. Yeah. Right. So when you ask me, like, how is it like, like I go through all of this, you go through all of these emotions when you break up with somebody, like I know, like with my previous like breakup, the first thing was shock. Yeah. And then after shock, it was definitely denial because it's like, how are we not working out like we've promised each other, we're going to work out, you know, so that's definitely like the first thing. And then from there, like it's not pain, it's not pain or anger, but it's guilt and bargaining. I was going to say, you know, that list isn't linear. That's not linear. You can't go through and by the way, it's also repetitive. It's also repetitive. And also it. Yeah. It can't look back. So for the longest time, like guilt is one of the biggest things I struggle with, right? And like, as we were, you know, planning this podcast, I just want to read something else, as we're planning this podcast, I wanted to define what guilt was. And guilt is the fact of having committing a specific offense or crime or feeling responsible for an act of wrongdoing. And I think that like one thing that we all are so bad at is feeling guilty for breaking up with somebody. Yeah. Because we associate like breaking up with somebody as an act of wrongdoing. And it's all perspective based, right? But I definitely think the act of breaking up with somebody is potentially the act of good doing or loving them, loving them because you are saying that I am not enough. I'm not leaving enough. I'm not what you need right now to give you what you want. Yeah. And maybe I can see I'm going to sacrifice anymore or sacrifice these things to give you what you want and vice versa. So like, I can see you're not what I need right now. And what I'm trying to do right now, like you are inhibiting me from doing that. And all my actions are inhibiting us from doing that, you know? So sometimes I think we need to remove guilt when it comes to relationships and breakups because it's not just the act of wrongdoing. Yeah. A breakup can be the act of the most high level of love because you're choosing that person of your own happiness. Yeah. Because a lot of men, what they do is that when they breakup, when they feel like their relationship is at the end, they hold on and then they cheat and then they treat their partner badly and they lose respect for their partner and they lose care and time and dedication and, you know, and they lose the ability to create a safe space for their partner. And I would rather always, 10 times out of 10 choose to break up with the person then live in a toxic environment with them. Yeah. And the toxic environment is being brewed by those emotions, which are not processing, which are wanting to break up. I think, I think, you know, if we can touch on that toxic environment, you have to understand some people live in that toxic environment because you get to still get a piece of that person. And it's the very, it's a very thin line guys, I always say this, these three lines again, I say this love is obsession and in between those two there's hate and there's a very thin line between those two, like those three categories, right? And I think when you in that breakup season in your relationship or that finding out a season of like saying, I want to leave, you play around with those three themes of saying I'm obsessed, I'm hating them, et cetera. But I like what you're saying to the fact of like, dude, sometimes you pick up of a person because you can see that person will never leave you, for example. There's a time when this call broke up with me, right? We dated for like three years in university. You supposed to be a rebel, yeah, for sure. Oh, you see, it keeps speaking, it's over like three years, right? And I remember, in university and I remember, here you go, thanks. And I remember, I remember her breaking up with me and me believing that like my life was over. And I was like, oh my God, what a one. And then time passed. And I used to like journal, right? So I used to write like letters and say like, your dear ex. Exo, exo. Exo, exo, exo. I miss you. This is what I wanted to tell you today because I don't want to text it. Oh, okay. So I'd write it down. So what if I wanted to say to I'd like write it down in the book? Just to get out the system because I feel like at least I, I found like I spoke to other day. But after some time passed, bro, I read back in the journal to when we were together. And I was just there like, oh my God, there were so many parts in the relationship where like, I wasn't happy and like I wanted to let go and I wanted to break up of her. And I never did because I was a type of person who believed that like, if we try to live more tour, like you, this is your person, like you have to just be in that thing. Which brings me into a very interesting theme that I actually didn't put in this agenda, but I want to talk about it. The difference between sacrificing and what's the other one sacrificing and, and overextending yourself. So you know how like every relationship requires sacrifice. 100%. When is it sacrifice? And when is there a thing of you doing too much, which is one of the actual themes actually I have here. When is it too much? Such a, such a good, such a nice question because I, I always battle with this and like yeah, same, same relationships. That's why, and friendships as well because everything is based off of perspective, right? So like for me, if I, if we had like, if we both enjoyed doing the same thing, so let's say we both enjoy having a cup of coffee every morning and there's no tea at all, at all in the apartment. We are going to enjoy the cup of coffee together. We are compatible. It's done. Good. Now when there's only coffee and I love coffee but you drink tea, you come over and might you only have money to buy one thing. Coffee or tea. Yeah. We both, I like coffee. You only like tea. Yeah. When you come to my space is only coffee, you have to not sacrifice, right? Now you're sacrificing the ability to drink tea. You're having coffee, you don't like coffee, you don't have coffee, that's for you. Now it affects you. Now, now for me, I have to then sacrifice and replace the coffee with tea to help who you. If you switch the scenario around, it's vice versa. So for me, when it comes to sacrificing, I always think about compatibility because yes, we can sacrifice some things, yes, we can overextend yourself in other moments too. But compatibility is so important because if the sacrifice feels like it's too much for you. Yeah. Should you be in that environment? Should you be in that environment? Does that make sense? Yeah. I think that's actually a wild way to think about it. I always thought about it in, does the sacrifice build or grow in any way the relationship? So the tea and coffee thing is very good example because it's a black and white scenario. And I think relationships, there's a lot of black and white scenarios where you're not going to grieve your partner, by the way, like on everything, sometimes there's just no solution. Someone has to overextend themselves in that moment. Yeah, like it's just the thing and I always think about it like in capacity percentages and like thinking over like that because, bro, it's such a healthy thing for your partner to be like, listen, in terms of this coffee tea thing, how much do you like tea? How much do you like coffee? I'm 10. And then you drop a number, we say we both write a number, give each other the numbers, we open up the letters like, okay, cool. From what I'm seeing, yours says seven, mine says eight. So clearly coffee is way more important to me than it is to you. So we drink coffee. Yeah. You know, I like practical thinking, but a woman don't look at you more than say, but tea is what I like when I was growing up. What? No, which is fair for her because she knows. Which is fair. No, she likes. Which is fair. But like it's like I'm saying, it's at some point, she's saying, you're saying she comes with no reason. Yeah, there's no good reason. It's not about the fact that she really likes drinking tea. It's just about the tea was delicious. Yeah, the tea was that when that's being unfair, we're not coffee is part of your process, by the way. Let's say it's your day to day. Like I need coffee to to function to function. You see how the level importance is different? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that's a lot of the things because a lot of relationship is emotional decision making. Yeah. Compared to practical decision making, there's a difference between practical solving and emotional solving, I think women are very much on like emotional something. This is how I felt there for men are like, wait, one plus one equals two, you can tell me one plus one equals four just because you felt this, this, this, you know, and I think that that's where the disconnect is where men try to learn to be more emotional and women try to become more practical in order to meet their partners at some middle ground. But at the end of the day, even of all of that, even of mindfulness, even of emotional intelligence, there are some problems in a relationship you can just not fix. Yeah. That's the truth, bro. It's the truth. 100%. It's the truth. But yeah. And I don't, but but now it brings me to another thoughts now. Yeah. We understand that women are emotional beings because they all women are more emotional than men. Yeah. Men are practical beings. Should we not allow for them to exist in that manner? Yeah. That's where like a lot of the emotional behavior to be accepted, analyzed, diagnosed. And then we negotiate based off of it because women like are heavy on, I feel, I feel, we can feel, but we can remove the feeling fast, fast for the sake of it being practical and in working. Yeah. And I've realized that like if you try and make a woman remove that I feel, yo, problem. I think that like is the problem is that a lot of women, and this way, I think our full and shorts of a lot of my partners is that women just want to be understood, bro. Women want they, when they emotional, they want, they want their emotional space to be understood. They want a safe space to communicate. Yeah. But some, some, some, some, some people are very different. Some people, you give them a safe space, but I'm, they, they make it digital. Finish me. They need war. They need war. They make safe spaces. They do. So black accent, scape safe space. You say, here's safe space. Then they're like, boom, boom, boom. Yeah. They put minds, boy. Yeah. Pressure, pressure. Pressure. Yeah. Pressure. Yeah. You go left is the wrong way. Boom. Go right. Boom. Forward. Boom. Backwards. Boom. Do you have? Boom. I'm telling you. She loved me. She loved me. I was still a way. Oh, why would I love it? Boom. right right now. Yeah, so yeah, these are such important points. Like guys, when you want to be in a relationship with somebody, it is so important to look at what your value system is, what your core is, and then analyze that person's core. So in talking stages, like sometimes it's good for you guys to have difficult conversations. And if you can see that like this compromise, this sacrifice is too heavy for you. You should not let it exist. Like I've been in so many instances where like I can see I have to sacrifice. Or what did you say, overextend myself? And I know how that will make me feel and how that will change the landscape of my life and my lifestyle and how my community exists. And I used to just say yes, but it will pull away so much of who I am and what I do. And what you want. And what I want. So you need to make sure that when you're in these talking stages, guys, just man. And then know what you are willing to remove. Yeah. And that brings us into maybe something you can give us advice. I can't know you know your boundaries now. And that brings us to the first date. And I think once you've been single for long enough, you know, the idea of romance does to pop into your head again. You start thinking of what? I don't know. I love those moments. Yeah. Or maybe Alamsa or courting someone's dog seen someone or buying somebody from flowers or receiving flowers or maybe just sharing your experiences with someone else. Because keep my showing someone what you bought. Yeah, keep mine. We don't have to punish ourselves now that we are a single. We don't have to punish ourselves now that we're a single. We can move on, which is what they call it, moving on, right? You know, the first date, you know, I want to speak about this. I haven't been on a date since my affairs. We're not in order. But let's talk about it. Let's talk about the feeling and the first dates. Like, yeah, people are age because I can speak about like my first days, two, three years ago. You're not going to speak about it. Let's talk about it. Yeah, let's go into first date. So, I love them. So, no, I want you to wait. I want you to understand. Keeping in-theme now, we're talking about you are now looking at yourself and saying, okay, cool, like, I can do this again. Yeah. So, you've gone through the guild, the back door. The other stages had to mention. Yeah. Go into the stages, which for one time, I think those stages need to be mentioned one more time. Sorry. That was very important. He said the stages were shock and states of denial, pain and anger, guilt and bargaining, depression, upward turn, reconstruction, and then, of course, my favorite pad. Acceptance. I thought you have accepted. What's up? Talk to me nicely. Love you because we have accepted what happens now. Another I thought to open. The account goes from private to public. You say all missions request except. Yeah. The people that you brought, you are brought. Happy, the gates are open. It's no more fucked by ex. Yeah, but when you are ready and you are ready to do this big step of, I want you to understand how dangerous. No, let's go to the negative side as well. How dangerous your picking has to be. You have to be very critical. You are the picking draft manager right now. You are scouting. You are scouting. And as a scout, you need to have a scout's eye. As a scout, when you are back into that stage, you need to make sure that don't ignore the red flags my sister. Not this time. Switch on. Not this time. Even a two-year relationship, you want to go back to it ending again because you are not those red flags? In the beginning, happy. No, man. And it goes back to what Toto said, compatibility. So, with the first day, I want you to ask yourself a couple of questions. My favorite ones that I ask myself, I do, I want to do this whole thing of doing a scorecard. It's like a topic! It's a good topic, guys. I love Toto Nosis. I love her. I love her good first days. Oh, rah. The expectation. The next song is the nerve. You don't want you going to go fetch her. Oh, bro, that's like my favorite part. Okay, so, go to the negative side. Sorry, back to the negative side. Those are beautiful. Three things I do, I do a scorecard now. I say to myself, these are the things I look for in a woman. These are the things that I must look out for in a woman. So, now, if we, if we're smoking ugly and she pulls out a vape, I'm like, "Damn! That's time soon!" In the terms of the lines, you know what I'm saying? Like Jimmy T. X. F. F. You know, if you're walking in by the side of the road, you know, and we have a conversation, and I haven't been able to speak once, you know, that's an F. F. X. You know, if I'm eating and, you know, a person doesn't offer once to share their food, I look at it as a long-term thing. Where's their 20 days? Yeah, because one day she wouldn't be able to even share a smile with you. For a fact, I do it. For me, my biggest thing is that, like, if I'm going to date with you, I'm like, "So, tell me about your, you know, your bringing." Yeah. If I don't hear, "How about you?" X. Yeah, bro, like, why don't you care about your name? I might interview you, you blud. So, so, again, going back to some important things, make a list of things that you actually want in a partner, guys. Stop denying yourself. Yes. Dude, you know what? What's the worst thing about dating? I think we build up a fatigue of some sorts where the next best thing is our, like, "Okay, shut up. I'll take it." Without understanding, there are certain things that you want in a relationship, certain things you want to feel seen for. Yeah. There are certain experiences you want in a partner. Yeah. Guys, I can tell you, there are girls who have been the most fun, and they've been the most funnyest people I've ever met. Love to experience. I love to experience. I love to experience. However, that is not a girlfriend. I love this. Love this. I love this. Why do you even call it back? I might even call it back. Replay. One more time. Maybe even trust. I don't know. But then there's the other side. You know, where a girl would be, maybe, quiet, for example, or shy. Yeah. And I've dated those girls too, and they've brought out probably the best things out of me. But that's not the type of person I am. Yeah. I want the funny. I want it. But there's sometimes we have to look above who we are. Yeah. We have to ask ourselves, like, "What serves us? What do you want? What type of relationship?" I'm talking about on Sunday lunch, you know, you're sitting with someone. What? Who's the person you want next to you? What's the conversation looking like? What's the conversation looking like? What do you want to see physically? What do you want to hear? Yeah. I know. What's the challenge? You guys are like, "How? That I'm busy, but others are telling us we must be strict on our first date?" Yeah! Yes! Yes! Could you be bamboozled? Yes! No dates, and then what? And then once, on the third date, realizing you have a puzzle. No! I'm not real. Be strict from the get-go. And that's something that I think I am very, very adamant when I'm talking to my friends. I say, "Guys, be strict from the get-go." 100%. Yeah. I want to talk, I want us to both do this. Three things we love in our first date, three things we absolutely hate in our first date. I can start with the first thing that I hate, we can bounce between. Okay. First thing on our first date, my sister, I'm going to take you somewhere special. Yeah. I'm likely to get you flowers. Yeah. I'm likely to give you one of the best experiences that you've been on. Yeah. Please dress accordingly. Yeah. You took the words out of my mouth. My friend said, "The way a woman dresses describes how much she likes you." Yes. And that has been very evident. Mind you, I've probably seen your Instagram. Yeah. I know you. I know you. Yes. I'm not saying go and become a fashion fee. Yes. I'm saying from what I've seen, ladies equally you and I, if I lend in slides. Yes. It's a problem. No, don't. You don't bring us, don't bring us into it. You can speak freely. No, I'm saying, I'm also saying, like, for a woman, you have to understand. Oh, like, oh. Guys, vice versa. Guys, I dress well if I go on a date to someone like... Yeah. I dress. I dress in a cup of twice. Yes. Yes. I put on one and then I sit like this for you to drive properly. Yeah. Yeah. As you should. I even put on sunscreen, but the date is at night. Yes. You have to understand. You have to understand. You have to understand. Every first date you have is the possibility of this person being the last person you date. The epitome of love, guys. You know, our people out age don't know love anymore. They don't. They don't know love anymore. What's the other thing that you don't like? I don't agree on fashion. I like a woman who knows what to order when we at a restaurant. I don't want to ham and ham. I'm not in a choir. How are you going to eat? How are you going to eat? How are you going to lead? How are you going to lead the relationship with me when you can't even choose what to eat? And you're over the age of 21, my sister. You've been making decisions your whole life. I don't know what you like to eat. What are you eating? How is the menu overwhelming you? I'm having steak and chips. I have steak and chips every time. I don't really like cow. Also, mind you, I don't mind you needing a little bit of time to decide. Same. Take your time, baby. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Fifteen to twigs. We can have some drinks. We can even have some drinks in between. Yeah. Drinks. Drinks. But when it's time to make a decision. When I go in the land, she's like, "Yo, can I get a sparkling water for the table?" I'm just saying. Baby. I can't even afford the deep water. The deep water. You can learn sparkling, but this is going to be great. You love this. 100%. So, okay. That's about it. I grieved your wine. So, that's my second wine, by the way. So, I was once in a day. I went to the same restaurant with different girls. Hey. And, yeah. What was the time you came up with these two dates? How long ago? Maybe like two weeks. So, sorry. One more time. What a week. Two weeks. I was back when I was last dating. So, you went on a date to one girl, and then two days you went on the same. A week later. You enjoyed the restaurant. I loved the experience. I loved the service. You enjoyed the restaurant. I loved the quality of food. Give them a review on Google. No, man. Listen. No, man. I appreciate you so much. No, man. But you sing. Money. You sing. Money. You sing. So, the first time I went to the girl, and how did she behave? Oh, she was talking to the waitress. Like having a conversation. It was nice. Like she was like making jokes. Oh, and I'm Mary. I'm Mary. It's so spicy. And I was like, okay, cool. This person is good as people. But I'm potentially seeing a sign of too much friendliness. [LAUGHTER] But it's fine. You know, when you make that text, it's like saying that person that comes to a brand moment in a chapel. It was on the podcast. It was on the podcast. Yeah. Like you want to go there comes everyone. Like two-friendly. Two-friendly. You've invited the MC gods. Make games. Yeah. It's nice for a baby. Let's balance it out. Yeah. So, I saw a red flag, but also saw a green flag at the same time. I don't mind that. I don't mind a good company. They went on the next week with the other girl. Yeah. And she was very reserved. She gave the waitress tank looks. It reminds you it's the same waitress. She asked the waitress like, do you want the waitress to leave? She'd be like, why is waitress looking at you like that? Why are they so close to you? Hey. I'm like, I'm man. First date, by the way. So, let's see. It's clear to see. Yeah. First date, by the way. So, do you see? I don't do this. I want you guys to understand the majority of the time, just like me, you will be on the date. Something bad like that will happen. And you'll go, hey, it's fine. Because the person's attraction sometimes over looks and over covers our parties. Over rides the red flags. Yeah. We have to understand, put attraction one side. Are you going to build yet, buddy? Yeah. Are you going to build? Yeah. You're going to build something quick, quick. My green flag in a relationship. Oh, the good things. Yeah. The good thing that I love like, bro, when, I think there's something to do with the girl, but when I'm able to just continuously ask you questions, like when I am intrigued. Because like, you answer a question and I'll be like, oh. Okay. I love that you spoke to me about like, you know, the subject you did in high school and how you were passionate about drama and how you play the plays at what what. Tell me more about this. Yeah. Like when you tell me about your family dynamic and I'm excited. That's a big green flag for me. Because I'm, because I'm already painting myself. In the family. I'm cool that you're talking about. In the family. Yeah. You're talking about how your mom loves painting. I'm like, oh, I can see myself buying your mother paints. Yeah. For you to go painting. Yeah. So true. You're talking to me about how you just like me, bro. Yeah. I think the same thing. Yeah. Like when you describe your family, brother, I'm there to come in with me. It's really too broad. So you're getting mad when she was like, yeah. My dad left when I was four. My mom's in the mafia. And you don't even mention yourself. I've seen myself painting for all now. I've seen myself in two on my neck. That says, kill harder. Come on, bro. Yeah. But true, bro. Look at me. What's the big green flag? Like a healthy family dynamic. I love. I think it's in the same theme. I'm a big conversationalist. Yeah. I love having these like in-depth conversations with people. Like it feels like we're on our own little podcast for like an hour or two. Yeah. I also just to include on that, the date that never ends. That is my third one. Let's talk about it. The date that never ends. Let's talk about it. I'm talking about you planning to go polling. Actually, tell me your best date that felt like it didn't want to end. Pay me a picture. Because I've got mine back of my head in a rosette no matter. Oh man, I love it for the game, I love it for the culture. Shall I go first? What do you think? Oh, I'm telling the thing. So with me, I was going to pick up this lovely lady. Unfortunately, I couldn't. So what happened was that we met at the establishment meeting Monte Casino. I came up with a beautiful, you know, bundle of roses. It's the first date, eh? It's the first date. It's the first date, okay. It's the first date, bundle of roses. I put some lilies inside there to, you know, brighten up the roses. I go to a car, put the flowers behind my back. I'm like, ah, do you have been seeing the stuff in the movies? Then I said, I got you something, but please keep it in your car. And she was like, oh my gosh, thank you. Automatically gave me confidence, made her a little bit shy, loved it, walking into, into nomad, word nomad for about... God, there may be six, seven, eight, nine, ten, four hours. After nomad, after, oh man, we ate, had some drinks and she barely drank. She doesn't really drink. After that, we leave nomad. We go for a walk in Monte Casino. Yeah. Walking around Monte Casino for an hour. Just chilling, bro. Just chilling talking. She goes, "Can we please take a walk outside?" I said, "Bloody, you're not tired of me. I'd love to take a walk outside." Yeah, I'm having the time of my life. Time of my life. Nice, 11 to 12, we're outside. We're walking past water features. Shh, it's beautiful. We'll take a seat. Continue walking. She's telling me, oh, this is this hotel. My one friend once came here. We're talking about life. We're talking about how we both love bodies of water. It's just moving absolutely amazing. 12 o'clock comes, go to the car. I'm walking, I'm walking to her car. She's parked slightly close to me. Get to the car. Played music for two hours. Like 12 to 2 a.m. We're playing each other music. Hey, man. Talking with all in her car. I'm laying a bike like this. Hey, man. It was the van. It was such an experience. Mind you, we're talking about family dynamics. We're talking about politics. We're talking about Christianity. We're talking about spirituality. We're talking about-- All the things that you need to talk about, bro. Talking about, you know, touched on a little bit about our previous, like, dating experiences. Like, how toxic hers were and how mine was. I said mine were lovely. Ten out of ten. Yeah. Couldn't come in about any of my exes. And then, yeah, man. It ended because I knew that I wasn't going to take a go back to my place on the first date. Yeah, same. I'm going to pick on that, bro. I'm big on that. We couldn't even come back here. And done everything, but I was like, yo, bro, we're going to come back here, chill. We never know. Maybe we were going to, like, you know, but I wasn't even staying here at the time. I'm going to come back, you know, have boom, boom, chow. Yeah. And then once. I'm going to feel like, ah, everything one day. I don't know. For me, I can't even picture my best first date. What? I don't even know. I'd be lying, bro, to pick, like, I've had fun on all of them. I've had, like, fun on all of them. The one that didn't, probably was the longest one I've ever had. Yeah. Yeah. The, yo, I don't know. The one that skipped you. Yeah. Can I, okay. Well, come back here. I don't want, actually, I don't want to answer that question. Okay. Is that fine? Yeah. I don't want to answer that question. Because now I know all of these people who context me and say, well, I wasn't the best. I just thought of the podcast. Yeah. No, you can keep this on the podcast. Is that true? Those people who go and think me and say, this is not the best date or et cetera. In the past. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I was talking about my best date. I was talking about the one that never ended. Joe, the one that never ended for me, I've had so many, never ended. That's why this one. That's why I'm like, I don't know. Hey, it's okay. Hey, you're amazing. Okay. But are you weird? But that's a very good conversation. But I think with the first date, obviously, asking someone on the first date is a huge thing. And I think Instagram has probably taken, is our new Tinder? It's Gen Z. I'm so incapable of using Instagram as a platform to... Of course you are. We're in old head. No, it's not that I'm an old head. What? What? I personally am scared that someone's going to take a screenshot. It's like, I don't know, baby, DM'ed me. So what? It happens to Drake. It happens to Kendrick. No, I must think I'm Victor Kendrick, right? Calvin Hart. I just have a lot of PR training. Yeah. And it's like, that's one thing I'm scared to do. For me, if I'm going to coach you on Instagram, I'm probably going to coach you. I'm probably going to start a friendship with you. Yeah. Probably compliment the way you dress. I hate men like that, by the way. Then I'll say, "Hey, you should come and grab a drink." I hate men like that, sorry. And then when you grab the drink, I make it clear that like, "Okay, cool. Grabbing a drink, but I might like you." And then from there, if you don't like... But now you tricked me. I've tricked you. You've tricked me. You've tricked me. You've tricked me. What do you mean? If you want me, tell me. You want me. Don't tell me about friendship first. And then one so-doo's like, "What do you doing?" I'm coming with my friend, boy. That's right. Whenever I'll say, "Let's grab a drink." I'll make sure that it's a group environment. And then I'll kind of read your energy towards me. And I'll kind of tell you to bring a friend or build my friends. And then what will happen is that I will maybe throw a sign. Make an advance. And if you can see... And if it doesn't, then you can... Or I'll treat you like someone like, "I'll be like, "Yo, you look amazing." What a safety net way of dating, bro. Just risk it all. I just risk it all. Say, "I think I find you attractive." Okay, so let's say you've been looking on Instagram now. You're obsessed with the girl. Yeah. You love her for the pirates. You love her for the kinds of chiefs. Yeah. You like the way she dresses, the way she creates content, whatever. How do you DM a girl? Like, she'll probably post a story or something. Like, of her. Then I'll just be like, "Oh, yeah. Thank you for this, by the way." Like, a lot of people wouldn't say, "Thank you." I'm gonna say, "Thank you for this." And like, if I judge... If you're not telling me I need to use this in my own personal capacity. You're like, "What if it's up for this?" It's like, "Wow." Like, you just did this for us for free. That's insane. You beautiful like this. Yo! You... You've got all of this other fucking men using your lines. Hey, bro, but it's the truth. It's like, "Yo, thank you." 'Cause I know everyone's gonna say she's beautiful. Yeah. I know everyone's gonna say, "Yo, I like to take you out." I'll just be myself, bro. I think... I mean, I have this belief and I think they're like... So, I think I made a girl. Let me actually meet you. Tell you the story. Yeah. And I think we can just touch on this briefly. But I met this girl. Yeah. And she was only DM'd by people that were not of her liking. So, she got this huge insecurity thing and then she tried to, like, alter her personality to get DM'd by the people that she does want to get DM'd by. So, I have this concept that like, bro, a lot of people do this thing where they're out to themselves in their talking stages and stuff in order to, like, get the person then they meet themselves. I have this belief, bro. You must just be you. Yeah, 100%. If I'm a funny guy and I send a DM to a girl and I'm just like... Oh. And I'm like, "Yo, by the way, I hope there's space on the seven colors played for you because you're... You ate. You know what I'm saying? Because she's added on to the plate. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And the thing is that that's something you're going to do... That's something you're going to do continually. Yeah. I'm going to make jokes like that all the time. Yeah. So, that's how I enter. And if she reads it and likes it, it's like, "Oh, that wasn't the one." Oh, okay. So, I should. So, because I don't make jokes. Just be you, bro. I should just be a gentleman because I believe I'm a gentleman. Do you text a girl saying, "Hey, by the way, I've seen... I've seen you post a couple of times and I think that you're beautiful. I like to take you out." If she likes the message, she wasn't the one. Yeah. You understand what I'm saying? I mean, dating is all about mutual attraction. Yeah. You never want to beg for attraction. Yeah. So, if I see an energy's off of any girl, I'm just there like, "Ah, rah. She doesn't want me. It's cool." Maybe so many other people that want to. Yeah, bro. But Instagram has taken away from dating. And it's because of the fact that there's so many different people on Instagram, right? And me and my friends at work and friends on my group chat, we did an experiment where we all looked at each others for you pages, right? And ladies, in order to cause chaos, they're page inside Africa. On your face, days from now on, please ask a man, can I PC a few new pages? And you say, "No, what a baby said to you?" That man doesn't have cards, pasta, and maybe some sports. A baby said sports. He's not the one. He's not here. Ladies, tell him I sent you. You're not invited to the next man's conference. That's right. Now, but real, ladies, like, I will not show you. I won't. My for you page doesn't have, like, women and stuff. It's very personal. It's like things I'm trying to grow in, right? Yeah. So I'll never show people, but definitely ask that question. You can ruin it. Okay, we've touched on social media, right? Yeah, we touched on it. And a great way to get the first date, you know. Portfolio, you can see what you like. Hey, bio. This is your portfolio, bio. Hey, I love horse riding. Horse other companies. There's toe-cross riding. Two thousand and eggs or 1990 eggs. You can see if it's your playing ground. Now, let's take it to real life. Yeah. We actually get to meet the real people. Yeah. And a lot of us struggle to quote people in real life due to the fact that we've got, you know, fear, call Baba. Yeah. And I think I want to encourage everyone out there, everyone listening to actively pursue people who you're interested in person, but you need to know what to say. My question to you and audience, please engage with me right now. Comment down below. What do you say? I see a girl in a mall. Yeah. Of course, all I know is how she looks. Yeah. You know? I'm intrigued. I'm attracted. Yeah. And I'm intrigued to want to know more. I can't go there and be like, "Yo, I love your personality." Oh, I love your heart. I love your, yo, yo, yo, you're a smart shopper. I love your smart shopper. I love the fact that you're saving. Like, I have a few, for example, to go to someone and be like, "Hey, what's up? Yo, dude. That's my name is Tato. I just, I love the way you look. Like, you dressed amazing." Oh, why not, bro? That's how roommates start. Because I feel like it's like, "Oh, you like how I look?" It's like, "Oh, you, you know what I mean?" Yeah, but yeah, that's, they say, like, the looks is what gets you there. The personality is what keeps you. Okay. So maybe I should say, "Hey, what's up? My name is Tato. I saw you and I just had to come speak to you." Yeah. I'd love to get to know you as they in the area. Same. Please get your number. Okay, so ladies, my question is, how would that sound to you? You see, it's not about how it sounds. It's about Wade coming from. It's like, "Who is this sound coming from?" Because even sound is coming from the beauty if it's ready to play. It might not go through, but if it's coming from a J.B. and speaker, it might be able to get across to the end. That's so true. So, like, that's what I'm trying to tell you, bro. Like, if a girl, you know, men struggle with rejection. Yeah. And I look at a chance and I tell them guys, embrace it. Out of all the people that you want, you want to be a what if guy? Like, what if I actually went for that girl? Yeah. What if I actually went for this type of girl? Why not just go through it and actually see for yourself, bro? Yeah. And a big fear of mine, for example, was always like, "Oh, she might have a boyfriend. She might be a hero. You should tell your child." It was like, "Bro, just ask. Just ask. She'll tell you, bro." And then so, like, if you come in respectfully, don't say he respectful. "Hey, what's up? Oh, you look amazing. I'm going to introduce myself. My name is Toto." And if she's like, "Oh, I'm sorry. They just, they're like, "Listen, I don't mean to waste your time. It's cool. I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful." And I would have loved to get to know you. But I understand. And you look great. She might even say, "Wait." Wait. Did he just say boundaries? Did he just say boundaries? God! This is you. You're walking away. She says, "Wait." You're like, "Five, four, three, wait." Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. But, I mean, at our age, 20% of these people are in healthy marriages. The other ones are pregnant. No, no, I'm talking about in terms of like the older 20. Well, real, real, real. Most of you guys have kids. I don't have a marriage. I don't have a marriage. I don't have a marriage. I don't have a marriage. I don't have a half. Yeah. There's not a lot of good people left in our sample pool. So that means that like ladies, you two, like if you see me there, check us. What's up? Like, don't be scared to be like, "What's up?" No, but like, bro, you have to understand, women have been taught. Like, if you approach a man, you are desperate. Type five. True. Yeah. Which is very sad. I like all women who like, you know, takes the... No, approach. But like, like... Be sad. If you see me looking at the peanut butter, you should be like, "The crunch one is nice." Yeah. Hey! Got him. Yay! Let's share a pride. Put like a table that's used in a family. Yeah? It happened to me. It happened to me? Crunchy? Crunchy? Crunchy? Smooth. Like, I'll be there like, really, I prefer the smooth one. Yeah. Type five. So with all of the chaos going around in your life, the finances, the losing a loved one, now you are single and everything... Yeah. It's important to understand that you're still surrounded by love, and which brings us to the next theme about falling into... falling into friendships. Mmm. The right friendships. The right friendships. This is actually... You know, it's a long conversation with Kaya and Mami. Two doesn't go on thought digest, and they were saying that like, speaking about addiction, right? And obviously like, when you go through a breakup, you form bad traits to try cope with the breakup. Whether it's talking to multiple women. Substance abuse. Substance abuse. Being with women that aren't for you. Yeah. Being with friends that aren't for you. And she said that, you know, a cocaine addiction. Or like, getting the dopamine hit from smoking cigarettes, smoking a vape beer, let me make it smaller. It's equivalent to... It's equivalent to visiting your family. I know that that's... 'Cause I told you last night about this. So, I think, following on to your friendships, it's equivalent also to prevent a lot of these addictions and a lot of these bad traits. And a lot of bad women. Or bad men, you know what I'm saying. Like ladies, when you feel like, "Yo, I've gone through all of these stages of grief, and like, I don't know if I want to get back into the game." You don't have to. They fall into your friendships. Their problem with women is that women will abandon and literally like, never see their friends again during the relationship. And then when the relationship is over, they fall back into these friendships and it's like, "You've been gone for 12 months." And like, I always advise my female friends to always participate in their friendships no matter what their relationship status is. My friend, I would like to say, "You need to treat your friendships the same way, the same respect, the same love that you retreat a relationship." Because if you don't communicate, if you don't check in, all those things, what type of relationship is it? You know what I'm saying? So when you do fall into your friendships, make sure that you, even when you are in relationships, you understand that you still have accountability to be there. And be around. And I think a lot of people do those things where they make their partner the entire world. And it's very dangerous because it prevents you from being able to have friends to fall on. Or just have friends outside of your romantic relationship. Also see a lot of people do this thing where their relationship becomes their identity. How are you? My man and I are doing so well. How are you? How is life? My relationship was going, "Hey man, how's your week been going? My man and I, my man, my man, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, chief. How are you? So I think it's very important, like guys, don't be like, "Oh my God, dude, it's very important for you to find love." Yeah. If you want love. Then it's very important for you to build on that love and work on that love. But it is even more important for you to continue like just maintaining your friendships, maintaining your world. Maintaining your world, maintaining your identity. Because once you fall onto a romantic partner for happiness, peace and... The moment they disappear. The moment they disappear, you'll feel like everything you've accomplished, everything you've done is for nothing. It's the latter effect. Remember when we spoke about this? Yeah. What do you place at the top of your ladder is what will keep the ladder stable? Yeah. You put a relationship, the relationship shakes, everything your life shakes. Everything your life shakes. You must place, I place God, you don't have to be religious. I place God because I know that's like my unshaken relationship. God will always be there. Yes. Whether I'm angry, upset, sad, happy, it's that unconditional love that's so crazy. But people place that relationship at the top. Very dangerous. So when you lose and now you want to fall into your friendships, your friend doesn't even remember who you are. Hi. Who are you again? Oh. Oh. John's girlfriend. John's girlfriend. Yes. We don't even know you outside of your partner, you know. So I found victim to that, I definitely think that I pushed my friends away during my relationship. But that's because my previous partner, she was so amazing. God bless her soul. God bless her, God bless her journey, et cetera. But she was so amazing. And for me, like being with her all the time, slapped so much. They're like, I guess you never, just to show you the other side of it. Yeah. I guess you even forget that you need friendships because your partner becomes your best friend, becomes your world, becomes your partner, becomes your safe space, becomes your dangerous space, becomes your ventilation system, your venting partner, everything. But I think that it was always adamant in my life that my friends would always be like, yo, but we still want to spend time with you. Yeah. You know, it's okay for you to be happy. Yeah. But it's okay also for you to understand, you still have a role as a friend. Yes. So rolling into friendships is very important. Yeah. And when we say fall into friendships, like we're basically referring to the fact of going to your friends and moments of sadness. Yeah. Creating... Or loneliness. Or loneliness. Creating routine with your friends. Like for example, we fall onto each other automatically every single Wednesday. Yeah. Because we have to go bowling. Yeah. So if someone's like, yo, I'm not coming, other person will call and be like, how dude? Why not? Why pushing you to be away? Why trying to be alone? Why trying to be alone? Why trying to be alone? You know that like sometimes we... We isolate. We isolate in times of being down. And like you're like, nah, I don't feel like going bowling today. I just had a shit week. But we know that like when we fall... If you come bowling, you're going to have fun. Yeah. You're going to like, you know, if you're going to make you smile. Let's make you happy. For example, level and 100 they want to come yesterday. Once they wanted to come, but he just couldn't come because you just had an issue. Level was like, nah, I'm learning the mood. And then person was like, no, dude, you're coming to bowling. He's like, if it's not finances, if it's... Yeah. He's like, if it's not fine, that's not transport. You have both. Come to bowling. Why? What are you going to do at home? Yeah. But then you get gas lights enough and then you go and then you have fun. You have a lot of fun. I had the time of my life. You get to love, you get to have a time of my life. It's fine and it gives life purpose. Yeah. Which is so important because you have to understand. It's not replacing, but energy doesn't die. The love that you can give is always going to be... That ability will always be there. It's just about transferring that love into something more safe. More loving, more towards you. Yeah. And that can be the smallest thing of falling into your friends, buying yourself clothes, buying something for your space, spending a loan time for four hours, a loan. Yeah. But not even staying aware for a full day, you know? Or picking yourself for a day. Yeah. Like, what we try to say is that, like, you're falling to the things that serve you. 100%. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And like, it can also be falling into yourself. Yeah. Like, I definitely think there needs to be a lot of balance when you fall. Like, falling to family, the minimum of monthly, fall into friendships weekly because, like, why are you living life alone? Yeah. Falling to your friends. Humans were meant to. Moving to tribes, bro. Moving to tribes. So, family, once a month, fall into friendships weekly, fall into yourself at least three times a week. Yeah. You know, sleeping doesn't count. Or even twice a week. And then fall into your romantic partner twice, three times a week too. Yeah. Or twice, like... And fall into anything spiritual, body, mind, et cetera. That's a daily watch. You should be praying daily or journaling daily or doing something that helps your mind. That helps the spirit's mind. So, you know, that's very, very important. But guys, this has been a great conversation. A lot of unpacking, a lot of unlearning. We're about to go to the memberships now. So, everyone that's watching now, we appreciate you. If you guys are going to watch an extended version of this, we've got two types of members. We've got the close friends. And we've got the insiders. The insiders get to watch that second bit of content. The close friends get to watch that second bit of content. And then the... No, no, no. The insiders watch that second bit of content. And the close friends just get updates. And just, you know, basically get back to us. And help us just continuously invest in equipment. You know, grow the network. We've got thought digest because we were able to have support from you guys from an access perspective. So, thank you so much. Please do subscribe. This has been absolutely amazing. And we'll see you guys next week. With your favorite seated podcast. Thank you. [MUSIC]