- Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast. For Monday, January 27th, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? How are ya? All right, well, it is Sunday afternoon, January 26th, when I'm recording this. The fucking Philadelphia Eagles just handled. Absolutely mauled the Washington commanders. Too much for 'em, too much defense, too much offense, too much everything, but what a run the Washington commanders had. You know what's funny? I like the white guys I know my age are like, "I'll just never be able to call 'em that name." (laughing) It must be really hard. It's gotta be really fucking hard, it's just Jesus Christ. That your biggest fucking complaint in life. I've been getting all the fucking boo birds coming at me this week, you know? Somebody sent me a thing, they replayed that thing I did on Kimmel, while I was making fun of all these people who were like, "This fire was mismanaged out here." Which by the way, it's fucking raining out here. Thank God, thank God. It's raining out here, you know, obviously we need to prevent more of them, obviously, and then also to knock down some of this fucking crap in the air dude, 'cause the air quality out here is, "Hey, I'll do it, it's brutal." Just think of all the plastic spatulas that are out there. You know what I mean? Just all dashboards, you know, all the plastic shit you have, computers, all that wire, all of that stuff just got fucking burned. And oh my God, and people lost the houses and they gotta stay here trying to find a place to live and breathe that shit in. So believe me, we needed the rain. And once again, the fire department did a great job. Everybody did a great fucking job. And all of these fucking assholes, like somebody sent me this thing from the LA Times, the LA Times, the LA Times after the fire, right? After the fire, the fire, still, everybody after the fire knows what we should've done. You know what we should've done? Hey, LA Times, you know what you should've done? You should've wrote that fucking article every fucking week before the fire. If you wanted to do something, anybody can write the article afterward. You know? Now there's gonna be mudslides and they're gonna be, "Oh, they should've done!" (laughing) That Monday morning after the disaster, what you should've done. I might be nuts here, but I don't think any politicians can get anything done. Because the other side won't work with them. They're like, well, we can't have them accomplish something. If they accomplish something, then they're gonna look good. And if they look good, then they're gonna get elected and then we don't. And if we're not elected, then how will we accept bribes from corporations and make 200 grand a year, but somehow be worth 60 million? Haven't you guys noticed that at all? Like, whenever, like, we're like, "Hey, we wanna do this project." Immediately, everybody, "Oh, it's not gonna cost! "You're gonna do that when we still need to do this!" And then everybody just yells at each other. All right, everybody is known for a long time what the fuck was gonna happen out here and what needed to be done, but nobody wanted to pay for it. Okay, there's also that. So like, all of these, all of you Monday morning quarterback fire people weighing in about what should have done and what they shouldn't have fucking done. It's just like, you know, it all goes back to the cunts all the way up at the top who don't fucking pay taxes and wanna own and control fucking everything. And then don't wanna pay. And the only thing they wanna do is pay off a politician. That's the only thing that they wanna pay. And then what happens is regular people fucking suffer. All right, I'm not gonna talk about it anymore. I talk about more, this more than my Kansas City Chiefs conspiracy theory. I know, I'm a fucking broken record here. So let's get out of that. All right, the time to have done something was before it didn't happen. So now we need leaders. We don't need people sitting around pointing fingers trying to fucking, I don't know. I don't know what. We trying to win, blaming. Anyway, I really feel like that's how the world's gonna end. When the asteroid's coming, it's just that he's gonna, well, these fucking liberals, if they let us build the ray gun, well, that's 'cause the religious right, boom. That's gonna be the end of it. Anyway, so I went out to the desert with two great friends of mine. Last night, and I went and I saw Johnny Mathis, something I've been meaning to do. Every time I go out to the desert, I see his performing out there. He's 89 years old. I was like, "I gotta go fucking see this guy." So me and my two buddies, we go out there, we get a nice steak dinner. They treat us great at the casino and everything. We go in. I was with other performers and shit, and we were all just laughing, going like, "I don't think I've ever seen the front of this casino." And the people like, "Dude, you've played here twice." And it's like, "I've never been here, this is amazing." And just, it's fucking awesome. We were walking around, we went to the sports bar. I watched the Kansas Wildcats game. I staped it, I still haven't, Kansas was like up by five, and then it was time to go get a, we got a amazing steak dinner. And then we got, then we went into the showroom, and we sat down, and it was like, at least a 20-piece orchestra. Like, I don't know what kind of money Johnny was laying out for these guys, but he had a whole string section, a whole section of horns, big band, the drummer was killer, the musical director, the piano player was amazing, the percussionist, everybody was crushing it. And out comes Johnny Mathis, and I'm sitting there in the friggin, I don't know, third or fourth row, and I couldn't believe it. And then he just fuckin', he just launches into, you know, chances are, 'cause I went in the house, it's holy shit, it's Johnny Mathis, and he sounded fuckin' great. And, you know, he's really gracious, just old school class, dress to the nines, you know, 89 years old, and then like his mic control, the whole, just all of that old showbiz class, you dress up, you wear a jacket, you look nice, and he came out and he was totally gracious with everybody who was there, and the crowd was, you know, it was obviously an older crowd or whatever, but underrated man, going to go see these legends at a casino, you're really doing yourself a disservice if you don't go see these people. So, I remember I saw Don Rickles towards the end of his life out there. I saw, and what's his face? Oh, Tony Orlando opened up and he killed, and then this was Johnny Mathis, had no opener, but he took a break in the middle, and then this comic came out, Brad Upton, who absolutely destroyed, I wanna tell you his jokes, but I don't wanna burn him, but he was like, we're totally clean and absolutely murdered. Really enjoyed his set, and then Johnny came out in a tuxedo to close it out, saying all of these hits, and he was very gracious, you know, kept thanking the band and everything, and then I think his last number was, let the good times roll, and then he just walked, and he just was like, you know, I haven't listened to that guy since I was a kid. Like the first thing was that Johnny Mathis Christmas record, my parents had just here, those slave males, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, and I'm just, and there he is, right there. You can just drive a couple hours out to a casino, if he's in town and go see him, you should definitely do it. They treated us like a million bucks there. All right, I wanna make sure I say that the casino name, right? The Agua Caliento Resort Casino Spa in Rancho Mirage. We were out there, and we had, they treated us, they treated us like kings, and then we got to go see one of the legends, the great singer, songwriters of all time, Johnny Mathis, I still can't believe it. I'm just, that's why I kept thinking when I was there. It's like, I can't believe I'm in the same room with that. It's Johnny fucking Mathis, this guy has been doing it since like the 1950s, like a 70 year career. And like, I like Brad said so much, I looked him up and he was saying how he has been working with Johnny Mathis for 17 years, which means he got the gig when Johnny Mathis was 72, and he's got to be thinking, all right, maybe I can do this for, you know, anywhere from three to five years, and then he's gonna retire. 17 years later, he still got a gig, and then just all those musicians that Johnny was employing was just, it was just really a great thing to see, a great thing to see. And then on top of all that, it rained today. So it's been nothing but great, a great day. The Eagles crushed the Washington Redskins. It was my daughter's like post birthday party, like the one that she had with her friends. So we had this video game, Cheeseburger Party. So the kids were just all bouncing off the wall, and I had the game on in the background. And I saw the commanders kind of made it close a couple of times, and then they just, Eagles just sort of ran away with it. I have not watched the Kansas City Chiefs game. I think that's on now, but you know, I was thinking about all of that stuff of like now, it's like the Taylor, everybody's gonna be like, oh, you know, 'cause they were cutting it like Bradley Cooper a couple of times in the crowd, which is so funny, just like the ratings, it's like it works with Taylor Swift, is Bradley Cooper the Taylor Swift and the Eagles, right? And I'm like, kind of, you know, what is, like they just keep doing the same thing over and over again. Tom was with Jazelle, fucking the tight ends with Taylor, right? They're Kelsey's with Taylor, and it's just saying, "But yeah, right, yeah, this fucking works. Let's just keep doing this shit," right? And I was trying to think like when, like the first time they really started showing celebrities in the crowd, sort of the history of that, was at the Lakers game, and the first guy there was like, Jack Nicholson was there first, and he was there in like the late '70s. I want to say he was there before Kareem, maybe Kareem got there, maybe Kareem was already there. He was there in like the late '70s, and he got courtside seats, and you don't understand, the fucking 1970s, the only fucking people that were in the stands were sports fans. There wasn't even, there was no corporate boxes, there was no luxury boxes, there was nothing, it was just a fucking arena, full of a bunch of meathead sports fans, right? So if you were at the game, you were there 'cause you wanted to be, sorry, I was taking my jacket off and I hit some fucking thing on the side of the phone. Anyway, so if you were at the game, you were at the game 'cause you wanted to be, you were like, you know, a sports fan. So Jack Nicholson was the first guy, and then the Lakers got Magic Johnson, and all of a sudden the Showtime Lakers, Pat Riley with the great fucking hair, they went in 1980, and, you know, but they wouldn't cut to Jack all the time, but you knew that he was there, and then it kind of became like this thing to do, but it always made sense with the Lakers 'cause they were in Hollywood, so they would cut to the crowd and die in Canada and all these people would be there, and I gotta admit, as a Celtics fan, it wasn't annoying 'cause you were kind of like, like, wow, they were in Hollywood, and the Lakers uniformed, you know, they were gold, it looked like the sun, and it was just like, I don't know if you, this is weird for people to hear now, the way they got us all divided in the United States, that's how we're divided. Like, people used to look at California like it was a dream, you know what I mean? Oh my God, the orange groves and the sunshine, and, you know, people did talk about the smog by then in the '70s, but the East Coast used to look at California with like envy of, oh my God, they're living in parrot, look at the palm trees, and the women are all gorgeous. I mean, you didn't live out here, so you didn't know what it was. It was just your idea of it, and then you'd see, you know, Jack Nicholson was court-side, and Diane Cannon was gorgeous, and then later it was like Paula Abdul was a Laker girl, and then she becomes like this pop star, and, you know, I remember, I think I saw Eddie Murphy at like a game, I was just like, that, like, and that was like, was leading into me getting into this business being like, wow, man, that's, and that was like my idea, that's what being famous was, you know what I mean? You were like a, you know, sunglasses, and you went to like a Lakers game, and you sat on the court or whatever, you know? And that's like what was being, so that's where it started. And then, but I think when it, the first time when I felt like it really got out of control was not, you know, how many times they cut the tail of Swift, but she really doesn't have control over it, but was with Drake. Remember when the Raptors went on that run? And I always felt bad because the Raptors had this superfan, right? That Middle Eastern dude, right? With the fucking, the turban. And he went to every home game, every away game, when they sucked, and he was just a superfan, he had great energy, and everybody loved him. And then when all of a sudden they had the team, and they went on the run, Drake was, had the Jack Nicholson tickets, and then they just cut to him, and they never showed the other guy. And they went, dude, and they kept cutting a drink, and Drake was like walking out on the court like he was an assistant coach. So I think that's the first time that shit started happening, but I'm starting to feel like, like that's gonna be like a thing now. Like, if Taylor Swift keeps increasing the ratings of the Chiefs, or helping them out, or whatever, then these other teams are gonna be like, okay, well, who's famous? (laughing) That's from, you know, who's fucking famous sets from Pittsburgh, or who's famous sets from whatever? And then you're gonna go to a game, and then they're just gonna keep cutting. Okay, here's our famous person, or whatever, you know? So, I don't know, it is like a different thing. So, I wanna see this, you know, I'm taping a game. I really wanna see this Kansas-C Buffalo game, and I just really just fucking hope the NFL, can you just make it a football game? 'Cause these are two incredibly talented teams with a bunch of incredible players. Can you please stop with the marketing, and just let the best team fucking win? So, the people that you've really forgot about, your fans, the reason why you've been around for over 100 fucking years, your fucking fans, can actually watch a fucking game, all right? While you do the flyovers, and cut to the pop stars, and fucking all the other goddamn bullshit that you're gonna do during the guy, and fucking stand up for cancer, and fucking pink jerseys, and all of this shit. And you just fucking let us watch a game where it's decided on the field. I would really enjoy that out of a Chiefs game, because I feel like it's been quite a fucking while since I've seen that, 'cause I really wanna see. You know, you want me to buy into this whole thing that Patrick Mahomes is as great as you're saying, then I wanna see him actually win the fucking game without the laundry. All right, there. I said I wasn't gonna talk about it, but I did. Does Josh Allen, bigger than fucking John Wayne, but still has his six-year-old boyish good looks? I swear, his face looks like it's photoshopped onto like Paul Bunyan's body. Like if he wasn't famous, I bet if he went out to get a beer, they would still ask him for an ID. It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing, and I think in the future, when men start doing plastic surgery at the level that some of these Instagram whores are doing it, I think there's gonna be some sort of Josh Allen. They're gonna call it the Josh Allen serum, and you can be like, what's that? That's like you play tackle football for almost 30 years, and your face still looks like you're in the fourth grade. (laughing) You could sell that to a billionaire. I think you could get that off the ground, you know? If you did the right sort of song and dance on Shark Tank, how diabolical would that be? If you actually came in with some young forever serum on the Shark Tank, and you got all of them to buy into it, 'cause his hair plugs on that show, right? There's a lot of stuff going on in that show, right? For these people still to look like they're young and viral, right? And then they all buy into it, and then you fucking, you give it to them, and then that's how you take them out Luigi style, you know? And then that becomes like a thing, right? Regular people taking out CEOs becomes a thing, and the media does nothing to stop it. They just over-hype it, you know? The way they did school shootings, the way they didn't give a fuck about our kids as much as they cared about their own fucking ratings. You know, when getting the camera in the fucking devastated parents' faces, they did it the same way, you know? As opposed to, you know, towing the company line when a CEO gets whacked, like if they treated them the way that they treat like fucking regular people. All right, Bill, do you have anything to talk about? I sold my car, I finally had to sell my Jaguar, I had an almost, almost little over eight years. And, you know, it just started being a Jaguar, and I put a whole bunch of fucking money into it, and I made sure the person who bought it, even did the full tank of gas, I'm one of those people. You know, I got all every little fucking bullshit thing fixed, 'cause I love that fucking car, and the person that I sold it to was also a Jaguar person, and they love the car, so I was very happy. I'm like, I can't believe how sad I get and how attached. I get attached to things the same way I get attached to people, it's fucked. You know what I mean? But then when I finally like sell the thing, it only bugs me for a couple of weeks, and I'm like, you know, it's kinda cool not to have that, you know, I can kind of move on to something else. So, I don't know, it was just, I learned a lot with that car. And one of the things I've learned from mechanics is, whatever time they tell you to change your oil, do it twice as fast. So, if you got like this synthetic oil, and they're like, you only need to change your oil, why don't you fucking get it? Do it twice a year. And if you're doing the old school oil, and they say every 3,000 miles, do it every 1,500 miles, and I learned that listening to mechanics, and I saw this little old lady, little old lady. She had a car from the 1950s, and it was still running, and they said, what do you do? She goes, I change the oil every 1,500 miles. That's something I think should be fucking illegal. To tell your own customers who just gave you fucking money, you don't give them the right information on how to maintain what you gave them, so it'll break down twice as fucking fast, so you can sell them another one. I don't know. Yeah, you know, it's the kind of thing I don't think it's right. So anyway, I'm gonna be down the comedy store tonight, running my hour, 'cause tomorrow night, I'm doing a co-headlining gig with Shane Gillison. I don't think I've ever worked with him in this capacity. I never done a theory gig with him. I was supposed to do the Hollywood Bowl with him, and I think he did the Tom Brady Roast or something like that. I did a spot on Seth Rogen. Seth Rogen had this fucking epic night last year during the Netflix comedy festival, whatever the hell they call it, and it was Seth Post Malone's Snoop Dogg. It was just this insane lineup, and they threw me on like last second. But anyways, I wanna say Shane was supposed to be on that, but he was doing the Tom Brady Roast, which I think got like nine zillion fucking hits or something like that, so I think he made the right choice. But anyways, I'm really excited to work with him, but I gotta make sure I don't suck. So tonight, I'm going to the gym, doing some cardio, gonna try out some new bits that I got, and yeah, so I'm now like debating, I think I might sell my F250 also, and the only reason why I'm gonna sell it is because I don't like new cars. Like the way that thing, that truck is not my friend. The engine is my friend, the body, the truck itself is, but within that truck is a spy, and it's constantly trying to figure out what music I'm listening to, what I'm talking about. I don't want a car that's spying on me. Is that like asking too much? I'm just gonna be driving old cars for the rest of my life. So I found this 1970, oh, Jesus, Bill. This 1970 Cadillac El Dorado that was like this aqua blue or green, white cream interior, you can find it on bring a trailer. Somebody bought it for like 33 grand, you know? Fucking white cream interior, it was fucking gorgeous. And people are like, where are you gonna park that? It's like, where the fuck I want? Where the fuck I want? Somebody steals it, I don't give a shit. You know, what am I gonna do? Then I'll, that's an excuse to get a different one. I'll get insurance, you know what I mean? Insurance will cover that. If everybody's car gets stolen, then they go, we're not paying anybody and we're keeping the fucking premiums. And then by the way, we're also gonna raise everybody else's premium because all those cars got stolen, even though we didn't take the fucking hit. And, you know, nobody's gonna discipline us because we're insurance companies and we're too big to be disciplined. It always goes back to that. It's always gonna go back to that. Just know that it always goes back to that and that there's nothing I can do about it. I've entered these years. So, let's talk cars. I like, I'm a big caddy guy. I like the 65 Coupe de Bill. I like a 67 to 70 El Dorado. And then like, I never used to like the 68, 69 Coupe de Bill. And there's something about it. I'm really starting to like it. And then there's the early 70, the one that's after that, the next generation, those ones are cool too. The one, I remember seeing those catalysts. First time I saw those, I wanna say that, I saw them at Elvis, the footage of Elvis's funeral. They had some white, they had some, all these different catalysts 'cause he was a big Cadillac guy. So, I like those, I like a 65 Buick Riviera with the clamshell. I like the big cars. Or like the midsize big ones. The Ford Galaxy. I'll tell you, you know, it's a great car. If you can find it, is the first dirty Harry. Detective Callahan, Clint Eastwood's car. I think it was just, it was just, what did they used to call those? Where it was just the basic, like an Ford custom. It was a, it's funny. It was just like, it was the base model four door sedan. I think it was called a Ford 500. And his was like midnight blue four door cop car. And, you know, all of those guys on those gas monkey shows, like for some reason they don't like four door cars. So, those things all, you know, went to the junkyard and got crushed or just rotted out or whatever. So, you can't find him anywhere. Like, I remember he had a buddy of mine. He was looking for a four door hard top 59 Chevy Impala. So, I had this car guy looking for him. He's like, dude, these things are fucking unicorns, man. He's like, I cannot find, like it. He goes, you want a two door? He goes, they're all over the place. I can find you a zillion those. It has to be four door. And those like, oh, you know, it's his childhood car. He wants it. This is the thing that he wants or whatever. So, it took him forever to find one. But anyway, I'll tell you this. I have a weird feeling about Buffalo today. I have a strange feeling that Buffalo is not gonna be Buffalo. Um, but I don't know. Did you honestly think that they're gonna go in a kit? They already beat Kansas City once this year. Are you gonna beat Patrick Mahomes, the Kansas City Chiefs and that officiating crew and the NFL who just absolutely love them? (laughs) I don't know, that's a tall fucking order. That is a tall order. So anyway, this is my last week out here in LA before I go back to start rehearsal on the play. It's actually been a good thing. I've gotten in so many hangs with so many people. That's why I went out to go see Johnny Mathis 'cause two good friends of mine, I wanted to hang with them before I left. And I've been hitting all these food spots. Like I do this thing with my son. Donuts, drum and donut days. So we go over to pro drum shop on Vine, the best drum store in Los Angeles. One of the best drum stores in the world. And we go over there and my son gets so into playing. Well, the first time I got over, he was so into playing the drums there that every time I would ask him to leave, he would get all like emotional. So I finally had to like bribe him. Go and you wanna get a donut? And he was like, a donut? I'm like, yeah, he's like, yeah, right? He was the greatest idea ever. So now it's called drum and donut days. So we went there and we played some drums and he was playing like the first beat you learn how to play. Boom, crack, boom, crack, boom, crack. And he's just fucking, he just has it. He just fucking has it. He's got great time and he doesn't give a fuck that there's people in the store. He's not self-conscious. I'm like really excited. So I'm gonna try to teach him, don't dare, don't dare, don't dare, don't dare. I'm gonna try to teach him that before I leave. And then I got all of this shit that I'm just gonna be doing FaceTime and my kids while I'm away. But I'll still see him one week a month and everything. I'm scheduling stuff, so I do see him. But that's gonna be the worst part of it. But the good part is I get to do a Broadway play and I'm off book, I'm ready to go and I'm very excited. And I hope to see you guys out there. I believe it starts on, I think March 10th is when it starts. All right, and with that, I'm gonna do some reeds here for this week. Let's see. 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All right, let's get into the, you always have to have the disclaimers have to be real fast. This might cause your wife to have hairy tits if you lay on her right after you fucking took it. All right, Bill, great emails this week. A lot of, about the Billy Corgan thing and questions about how much of it was a bit. Okay, well you think my life's a fucking joke? All right, chiefs complaining debunked. I love when people say that chiefs complaining debunked, what debunked what? Because you want it debunked. This chiefs complaining my opinion. What's going on there, Billy, complain tits? First off, I am not a chiefs fan. (laughs) And I'm a Democrat, but these liberals are out of their minds. Everybody does this. So let's get that excuse out of the way for ya. Dolphin's fan here. All right, you sound like a CNN Fox News nutcase except with football when it comes to the complaining about the chiefs in my homes. Oh, you must not be watching them. You didn't watch that last drive and all that holding right in front of the referees. You didn't see the guy take his helmet off in the end zone and the guy told him to put it back on. You didn't see a defensive coordinator calling a timeout. So you're just gonna say, I sound like that and you're not a, I want you to address all of those. Rather than just doing the usual, oh, you got your tin foil hat on. Jeez, somebody's getting into their feelings. That's what people say when they can't refute what you're saying. You yourself said, you don't watch much football anymore and you just watched the, I was at the Super Bowl. I was at the Super Bowl. I don't know what to tell you, sir. For the most part, so you're forming your opinion based off of the national media painting a picture for you. No, I'm not. I told you, I was watching the game last week. I was so sick to my stomach, I had to turn it off. I had to turn it off with the amount of times the officials just bail them out. Did you listen to the beginning of this podcast where I was begging the NFL to let the bills and chiefs just play the game without them interfering? All right, this is all bullshit. You yourself, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. As a Patriot fan, I'm sure you're scared of my homes and the chiefs catching up to your records. I'm not, I don't care. So all you're doing is you're just like seeing and fluff, you're forming your opinion. You're just a scared Patriots fan. Dude, you have not brought up one example of what everybody's talking about and defending. Like, are you going to tell me they weren't holding Bosa? That guy didn't take his helmet off. The guy didn't call fucking timeout. My homes isn't flopping out about it. You're going to tell me that you're not refuting any of that. You're just, you're just, you're debunking it, just making shit up. This is what we're doing. Now to the actual numbers because math don't lie. That's not true. That isn't true. Math doesn't lie. You can listen to two politicians talk about the same thing. They can pull out numbers that support their arguments on the same issues and the numbers will tell you the exact opposite thing. I don't give a fuck. You find the shittiest college out there and they'll somehow work the numbers where they're somehow number one in something and that's why you should go to the school. It doesn't have an opinion, it's just right or wrong. Oh and let me grasp the way that you're doing these numbers agrees with you. In 17 regular season games, the Chiefs have been penalized 94 times for 829 yards for an average of five and a half penalties for 49.7 yards per game while the teams they have averaged have played against for penalty. (mumbles) Okay, you pick some numbers that are going to support your argument. All right, I watched Trey Wingo pull out some numbers going like in crucial situations in a football game. Okay, he started that vague. He goes, when it came down to it, he goes, Tom Brady was 46%. And all he said was the percentage. He didn't say the numbers. Like 46% out of what? How many times out of how many times? Then he goes to Drew Brees. Drew Brees was 50%. He was three out of six. And he ignores Tom Brady's, 'cause Tom Brady's numbers are all through the fucking roof. The guy went to the AFC Championship like 58 fucking times. Anybody can bat 500 in fucking baseball if you're fucking looking at 20 at bats. You gotta go 10 out of 20. If you're hot, you can do it. Do it for a whole fucking season. So Trey Wingo moves these numbers around and then of course he lands on Patrick Mahomes like, Patrick Mahomes is seven for fucking seven. And it's like seven for seven. He lost a Super Bowl. So you're deciding how this fucking got like, what is the important thing? Like, this is what I don't like about your numbers, sir. Is your mind is already made up before you give these numbers while you're accusing me of doing the same thing. You're gonna do it to me and be like, see, the numbers don't fucking lie. Guess what, buddy? The film doesn't lie. So fuck you, no, I'm not reading this shit. Fuck you, I get it. You like, you like fucking Patrick Mahomes. I like it, okay? I get it, I get it, I get it. He was immediately sold to me as, this is gonna be the greatest fucking quarterback you've ever fucking seen. And I gotta be honest with you, I've been watching football for 50 years. He's not the greatest quarterback I've ever seen. He's the most successful in 28 by being the age of 28. I'll give him that, but it's not the same fucking game. It's not the same fucking game. Okay, the game I was watching, you could beat the fuck out of the quarterback and you couldn't, the owners weren't involved in gambling in Las Vegas. It's changed a little bit. (laughing) Baseball has changed a little bit. You couldn't be roided out of your fucking mind for 10 years. Right? You had to eat coffee beans and have a sasperilla. It's, everything has changed. Listen, can we just agree to disagree? Okay. Can we just fucking agree to disagree? I don't wanna fucking sit here and go through all of these, I'll out of respect for you. I will just, I will continue reading this. So the math shows that it isn't bad at all. And you're, you are falling for the national media trap. Hence the CNN Fox News, oh, I thought I was watching it. I thought I was watching the games. Evidently, I'm not watching the games. And evidently, I'm watching just people on Instagram and I'm going, oh, that's what it is. Yeah, okay, all right. I don't do the Bet MGM podcast with Paul Versey and Bet Four games a week. Yeah, I don't, I don't watch at all. Yeah, okay, I'll go with that, all right. Also, my home has six roughing the passer calls against this year to jail in five. Terrible fucking stat, terrible fucking stat. When your offensive line is allowed to hold, how the fucking, you're gonna fucking hurt the guy to begin with? This is ridiculous. The Chiefs have the most offensive holding calls against them this season as well. You'll see what I'm saying now? No, I don't see what you're saying. I don't see what you're saying. How come you're ignoring the fact that they've always been penalized for fucking being held except during the playoffs when it really counts? Haven't you seen that stat? Are you gonna look at those numbers? Are you just gonna ignore that? I don't know, as far as the Taylor Swift stuff, it can be annoying at times, but it's not as bad as you and the other make it out to be. Yes, according to you, most NFL game broadcast are three hours and three minutes and 15 or so. She might have a total of three to four minutes a game, so please just stop complaining about this. Watch the game when you can and form your own opinion. Oh my God, this guy's reprimanding me. I'm a big fan of you, so don't go too hard on me. LOL, looking forward to seeing you soon. Buddy, buddy, I'm watching the fucking game, okay? And I've always bitched about things that I don't like in the game. I've been right sometimes, I've been wrong other times. Just 'cause you didn't prove anything in this other than the fact that you have the opposite point of view and you pick some numbers that support your point of view, but you're completely ignoring. I've never seen a defensive coordinator call fucking timeout and they give it to 'em. All right, whatever, what am I gonna convince you? Okay, you know what dude, yeah, you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. The NFL is actually a sports league, even though they call themselves an entertainment league. The fact that they're involved in gambling now, that's not gonna affect things whatsoever. Not at all, not at all, not at all. It's not weird at all that after Peyton Manning and Tom Brady retire, all of a sudden this new team, just immediately, immediately, immediately. And it was the exact same blueprint as their business beforehand. The same way the NBA, you know, oh my God, the Celtics and Lakers and Jordan is over. And then immediately, we're into the pile on era of teams to just artificially create what naturally fucking happened. Evidently, the way I'm looking that is wrong. And in the 2000s, when I was saying that these fucking games are rigged and they're shaving points, everybody said I was, you know, put on your, whatever. You had 10 foil hat and then a fucking guy got busted for doing it and then they said it was just him, which was bullshit, it wasn't just him. It was a bunch of people, he was the Oswald guy. All right, I know, I know, I sound fucking crazy. Okay, you know what, these leagues are in the up and up. Haven't you seen like former NFL players? Former NFL players are saying what the fuck. Troy Aikman said what the fuck in the booth during a broadcast. That pass interference where he barely touched the small of his back. Oh, you know, you put your hand, they're gonna get you for that. What the fuck? All right, great. Well, you crunched some fucking numbers and I still do not agree with you. Issues with comedy in Greece. I had a great time in Greece. Hello Bill, hello Bill, what are you doing? I hope you're well, my name is Jim and I'm a listener of your podcast. I'd like to share some factual information about a recent comedy related development in Greece and ask for your opinion on it. By the way, I also love how the Chiefs fan only went withholding. The non-chief, Stolfin fan, like that's the only stat. Out of all the penalties that are out there, illegal motion, pass interference, roughing the pass. All of this shit, you pick fucking one or two to support your argument and then you're just gonna say it's debunked 'cause you said it was. All right, I guess it's debunked. I hope you're well, my name is Jim and I'm a listener of your podcast. I'd like to share some factual information about a recent comedy related development in Greece and ask for your opinion on it. A show called, oh, I can't, I don't wanna say it. Pest to Samada, inspired by the British panel game, what I lied to you, was scheduled for multiple performances at a theater in Athens initially. Its first four announced dates featured 17 male comedians and no women and official poster was released with only one male name listed. After the poster went public, several people on social media raised concerns about the absence of female comedians. In response, nine female standup comedians in Greece issued a collective statement saying no woman had received a specific invitation before the show was announced. They noted that the situation reflects broader issues of access and representation in comedy. Subsequently, four male comedians scheduled to appear would drew stating various reasons such as lack of information about the lineup or discomfort without the show was organized. Additional participants also pulled out including some who were slated to join later dates. The organizers posted an apology citing poor planning. They offered refunds to anyone who would purchase tickets and announced that any performer could drop out if they chose, eventually the entire show was canceled. Many discussions followed about how an all male lineup came about and why no adjustments were made earlier. Some pointed out that later performances would have included women, though the initial announcement did not. I'm reaching out because I value the way you analyze and breakdown scenarios on your podcast. I'd be interested to hear any thoughts you might have on how such a situation can occur and what approaches comedians, producers or audiences might take when something like this happens. Thanks. Thank you for taking the time to read the message. I appreciate your candid perspective. I look forward to any comment you might want to add to share to the podcast. Special guard. I don't know, like sometimes those things happen because of the reasons people think they're happening. Like there's racism, sexism, homophobia, blah, blah, blah, blah, nepotism and all that. And other times they just happened because the people involved like only interact with the people they hire. Like if you get a bunch of men to fucking run something that's gonna be a bunch of men being hired for something like that. Unless it's a titty, blah, sorry. And then I feel like, like if you had a bunch of women running that, if it was only women running that, it would reflect that. But it wouldn't just be all women. I don't think it would be that. So it sucks that it got canceled. And it also sucks that people running shit, there's a fine line between listening to what people are saying and then just completely caving and losing the integrity of what you're doing. So that's sort of the balance. Like obviously, if you're putting something together, you want to try to include every, but it all depends on what the fuck you're doing, right? What it's gonna look like, but you should do that. But I don't understand, it seems like by in the end, the people that were doing it were like, I don't think there's any fucking way we're gonna make everybody happy. Just fuck this, let's just do something else or start over somewhere else. But like, I don't know where you guys are at socially over there. I mean, you are at Greece, isn't that where democracy started? So I'm a little surprised that, you know what, I'm not surprised. I had literally no opinion of it. I had no idea how shit was running over there. So, I don't know. I will say it's a hard fucking thing. I don't know. It's a difficult thing because like when it comes to writing, they always say write what you know. So then you write what you know and then it looks like you. So then as a white guy, it's like, what's this fucking white guy shit? It's like, I'm a white guy. I write white guy shit. I don't know what the fuck to tell you. What am I supposed to write non-white guy shit? Then I go, well, who the fuck are you to speak for the fucking daughter that, right? You know, then you get that. So, the reality is though, none of this shit would be happening if the world was fair, but it isn't. And it's never gonna be fair. If you just had women run it, that's what it would look like. It would look like they're bullshit. And then, you know, I mean, Jesus Christ, look how women run a fucking relationship. Look how, look how, look at the power dynamic the average married man has. And women consider that fair. So they're not fair people either. So, but like outside the house, like for the most part, men are running shit. So I guess you have to be more aware of that stuff. I mean, it's kind of vague. I don't know what the comedy thing was, but it just, I just think in the end, it sucks that the whole thing fucking went away. It's actually kind of funny too. So, I don't know. My opinion on all of that stuff is, I always like, I never tell performers what to do. It's just, and the only thing I tell them what to do is just go do what you wanna do. And don't listen to people, you know. Ah, you know, I don't know about that joke. I don't know about that. It's like, dude, if you think it's funny, go out and do it, and then you fucking decide. Okay, it's one thing if you're going around, hey man, what do you think about this? You're asking, but people come up to you with unsolicited shit. You know, you really gotta have a filter, like where is this coming from? Are they really trying to help me, or are they, you know, are they hardcore about some issues so they can't even step back and see that I'm not doing anything against their cause, or are they envious and jealous, and they're trying to fuck up what it is that I'm doing? I don't know. So there is that element of it, and then I think you as a performer, I think, I don't know, you gotta try to like, like empathy is a great thing in general to try to figure stuff out. Like say like, whenever there's like a joke that I'm doing, that I feel is like outside me, right? I just go to the, whoever it's about, I just go to them and say what I'm doing. Like what do you think about this? How do you think about it? Like take like old dads, like that scene in the car with the rap scene with Bokeem, you know, you know, that whole fucking scene. Like that went through a number of different versions. And my first version, you know, all my black friends are like, "Ehh, I don't know about that forever. I mean, I see what you're trying to do, you know, and then I got somebody like, "Yeah, I think that's funny." But then there was too many people being like, "Ehh, you know, I don't know." So I was like, "I don't think I'm there." So I just kept re-listening, and then re-writing and re-running until we got it where it needed to be. And then how it ended up being? It ended up fucking working. But then I think of my first draft of it, and I cringe going like, "Oh, wow, like that was totally not gonna come off the way that I wanted it to." So I would say that there's a way to kind of apply that to a, I guess, booking a show or whatever. I mean, I've always been like, I mean, I grew up during the era, the tail end of variety shows. They was still all white. (laughs) But what it did have was, it wasn't just an all comedy, all music. It was like music, dancing, comedy, you know, there was sketches, there was all of this different shit was in there juggling. So maybe there's that, but I don't know. I don't have enough information on this type of thing, but I can tell you that one of the best things you can do, is if you're somehow established in a business, is to listen and to help out younger people that are in your business. And not to go the other way, to try to hold people fucking down as, you know, I got here and I'm gonna fucking stay here by standing on everybody's heads like that. It just doesn't work. And then what happens is, 'cause you're just gonna get old and no one's gonna give a fuck about what you say, right? And then, you know, and then you were a dick to all of these younger people and they could've put you in something, you know? You could've played the uncle or the grandfather in their fucking project because you were cool. And they could've been like, you know what? You fucking, when no one knew who I was, you gave me some advice, you helped me out, you threw me a gig or whatever. And now you're an old fuck, I'm gonna fucking hook you up and get you a reoccurring on this shit. I mean, that's how you, I don't know, that's how you, I feel like you keep your career going, is, you know, you just be nice to people and listen to 'em and if you're a fucking asshole, be like, all right, I'm sorry, I was a fucking asshole. God knows I've done that, you know? And try to clear up my mistakes, but I am human, I do fuck up whatever, but like, I think it's really important, without going on and on here, that like whoever was booking that show to kind of learn something and maybe just like adjusted, okay, we're gonna try it again this way, but like, but I don't think that you, but my problem is with a lot of people that aren't like performers, but then they just start doing like bean counting things, like we need a person of color, we need a gay person, and they don't do the work. It's like, no, you need talent across the board. Don't just go, oh, you're gay? All right, you're in it, you're not white, all right, you're in it, go out, you do the fucking work and find the person that is the shit who happens to be gay, or whatever it is you're trying to get in there so you're not just doing a fucking, you know, in all whatever show you are, I don't know, it's a fucking, you know, there's no easy answer, sorry. I did my best there, I did my best, man, I just fucking, cut me some flat, all right, Japanese bicycles, A there, Billy Bagger, bro, love that you've been riding and hearing about your experiences, especially with some of the best roads and scenery in the nation, outside your front door. How could you not be having a good time? 'Cause people text when they drive. I've been riding my whole life and have a small side business repairing only vintage motorcycles in Seattle, wow. Just wanted to give you my two cents and hope to encourage you to buy a vintage bike. You're absolutely right to be in love with vintage Japanese motorcycles. I own love and repair all makes and models as long as it's old, so I'm not biased. I'll keep it short, but if you do buy an old Japanese motorcycle, I'd like to give you three, I'd like to give you my three top picks. I will be googling all of these. See, here we go, the podcast is fun again. I'll shut up about the fires in Kansas City and fucking Taylor Swift. Sorry, you know, I'm like anybody. I can fucking go on and on. Don't fucking act like your wife or girlfriend goes, oh my God, if you bring that up one more time, I'm fucking leaving you. All right, and then I did that thing where I'm being a douche and now I'm saying, you've been a douche too, all right, let me own it. I've been an asshole, sorry. I'm gonna do better. All right, a 69 to 78. Honda's CB750. This is the bike that changed the game for all bikes. Perfect for all, for a round town, but plenty of legs for a freeway cruise. All right, so that was basically the first super bike that got it going. I think that's the one, 'cause I remember, I've gone down a little bit of a rabbit hole. 73 to 75 Yamaha RD350. How do you remember, by the way, the names of these bikes? It's like fucking memorizing barcodes. Like, who can't remember like a fucking, you know, a Mercury Monarch? Fucking RD350, this is a two-stroke ripper that was race developed. All of these motorcycle guys love the fucking two-stroke, which is basically the spark plug fires every, like the piston goes down, comes back up, fires down. Every time the piston comes back up, it fires as opposed to a four-stroke, which I guess burns cleaner for the environment. So it fires, piston goes down, one, back up, two, down, three, back up, four, fires again. I believe that that's what it is. And a true stroke is just bang, up, down, bang, bang, bang, bang, like hammering a fucking nail in. And obviously I would think that they have way more torque because of that. This is a two-stroke ripper that was race developed. Yeah, that would obviously make, 'cause you're not losing horsepower during that rep when it comes up and it doesn't fire back down. To turn the crankshaft here. This is a two-stroke ripper that was race developed, RD. That's why it's the RD350. It is awesome for twisties in the back roads, but tame enough to get around traffic. Dude, hats off to the fucking, the engineers over there in Japan, like they, they, you gotta, you gotta give it up to them. Like you can't kill a Toyota. 70 to 79 Yamaha XS 650. The bike is legendary, torquey, the best exhaust note, freeway and backyard fun and gorgeous. Just a thought, I'd hopefully give you some encouragement and maybe point you at some great choices, but old, buy old shit and go fuck yourself. That's awesome. By the way, anybody in Japan listening to this, it's been a bucket list for a long time to go over there. So here's my question. I would like to, after I get done with this play and I gotta, hopefully, we sold this script, hopefully we shoot this movie. I would like to go to Japan in 2026. I'd like to go there when the weather is nice and I would like to know where to go where all of those young kids that are into like the vintage motorcycles, Japanese motorcycles, where they're gonna be riding or if there's a show that I could book the trip around. And I also know that in Japan, the coffee is like, and Italy in Japan is everybody that drinks coffee says like that's the best coffee in the world. So I'm going to Italy next in July. I'm taking a little summer vacation there with the family. Am I gonna do a gig there, chief? I don't know, possibly. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. I would like to go to Japan and obviously have your amazing food, coffee. And then I would love to see some of those motorcycles. If there's like, I don't know, sometimes they have like those motorcycle clubs you can actually go in, it's a combination bar, restaurant or whatever, I don't know what you're doing over there, but like, I would love to go see that. That would be incredible. Just throwing it out there, you guys have any information? Right in. All right, French music recommendations. Dilly, (speaking in foreign language) If you've never heard of the French band called Air, I have not, you need to pleasure your ear holes ASAP, specifically their debut album, Moon Safari. They've been putting out great music since the 90s and have a solid cult following, but many Americans just haven't heard of them. Dude, there's nothing more than when I love them, you guys, you recommend this stuff I've never heard of. They got simple bass and drum grooves and an overall chill/loungi sci-fi bossa nova vibe going on. Sign me up. Sadly, they don't tour very often. God bless them. Good for them, very, why would you? If you live in the French countryside, fucking great food and conversation, I wouldn't wanna go on the road either. They don't tour very often, but are incredible live. The band gives each other lots of space to breathe. The music is perfect for a Sunday drive or mushroom/molly experience. Cheers from New Hampshire and go Pats. All right, I gotta check them out. And with that, I gotta see what all freckles has been listening to lately. All right, so a friend of mine, my drum teacher, Dave Eilish, told me to download this album, Miles Gertou. It's Trilog Gertou, one of the most amazing drummers in the world. And Robert Miles, what is this album called? Oh, it's called Miles Gertou. Robert Miles and Trilog Gertou. Incredible, incredible music. I downloaded Usher's new album. It's amazing. Somebody sent this to me. That song ruined. And I watched the video. He went all out. I like that he's going all out, like MTV still plays videos. I love musicians that still make fucking killer videos. Then, I've been listening to that. I don't know how to say the name. Khurang Bin, K-H-R-U-A-N-G-B-I-N. I was listening to a bunch of soft rock and then Phil Collins, the sweet spot between the Genesis prog stuff and before Sussudio. Don't care anymore in the air tonight. All of that type of shit. Jungle Brothers, straight out of the jungle. Oh, what's that? Pablo Cruz, Deep Purple downloaded this album Burn, which is fucking insane. Tony Williams, Native Heart. Oh, and then this guy, Lattimore. It ain't where you've been. 1977. Herbie Hancock, a soundtrack blow up. Luther Vandross. I had no idea, like this fucking guy, how great a singer that guy was. I always heard he was a great singer. I couldn't get into it 'cause I was listening to metal. I've been listening to a bunch of shit like that. And been having a great time with it and listening to a lot of soundtracks to movies, like '80s synth and that type of shit. I don't know, some of that stuff, I just took it for granted because I kind of came up during that time and I haven't listened to it in a long time and then I go back and listen to it. I'm like, this stuff is fucking, like it sounded really cheesy and thin to me, like when it was happening. And now I go back. It's like, no, that decade really had its own sound and now that I haven't listened to it in decades and I'm coming back, revisiting it. I was like, this shit's actually really fucking good. So anyway, that is the podcast. I went a little bit long. All right, here we go. I'm not talking about the fires anymore. I'm not talking about KC anymore. The Taylor Swift, all of that shit. And that's it. We'll just talk motorcycles, fucking music and whatever. I'll be in New York this time next week. And I don't know, I'll be getting ready to do. It'll be a different thing. But I'm gonna be in the clubs a lot when I can make it sure I keep my act tight because when I'm done with this run, I gotta do Abu Dhabi and then, I don't know, I'll be in Italy, so who knows? Maybe I'll do a show? I don't know. Could be awesome. All right, that's it. If I've been pissing you off about that shit, I'm sorry, you know, whatever. I get lost to my shit too. All right. Sorry and go fuck yourself. I'll see you on Thursday. [BLANK_AUDIO]
