Monday Morning Podcast
Monday Morning Podcast 6-20-11
Posted in PodcastPlay AudioBil rambles about Gas MPG, The Bruins winning the cup and Kiss
I've got to bang this fucking thing out here in an hour because I get some people coming over going to be doing some work on my fucking apartment. Yeah, back in the day when my dog was a fucking crazy dog. We used to go, we would leave to go do some things and then we'd come back and try to eat its way through the molding and the door and all this type of shit. And my girl was always like, "We need to get that fix, why don't we get it fixed? It'll got it, what if we have company?" And I was like, "Well, I'm not getting it fixed until the dog is not out of its goddamn mind." So, that was a long process. Like it's not out of its mind, it's not out of its mind. I was nervous, I was scared, he was like, "Hey, man, what are you guys going? I want to go to me, man. What about me? I got a bad feeling about this, man." Look at that dude in platoon, right? He would, my dog, she, excuse me, she would freak out. But now we have her crate train, so we stick her in the crate. She sits in there, it's her own little world. She feels safe and, you know, we put the music on. She doesn't know if we're home, she doesn't know if we're not home, worked like a charm. That's basically what we did. We put her in the crate and we turned the crate around where the door is, you know, and you just have it pointed at the wall. That prevented her from trying to get out. And then we had one of those little baby cameras. You know, if you have a baby and you're worried that it's going to, you know, start stealing things out of your sock drawer, they give you those little fucking cameras to watch. We just used one of those. And any time she tried to break out of the crate, we would come in and go, "Hey, knock it off, knock it off, lay down, lay down, good girl," right? And then what we finally end up doing is we just, that whole process, we just put music on. So she doesn't hear us leave, she doesn't know if we're home or not. Every time she would start to get antsy, we would always poke our heads in going, "Hey, knock it off." It just kind of fills that we're just in a different room. But now she just lays there. She's fine. We can leave for hours. So yes, so now I'm finally getting the fucking work done. So I can have an apartment that doesn't look like I had a fucking herd of rats come through here. So anyways, yeah, they're coming here at like nine, so I got to bang this thing out here in an hour. Oh, do I have some shit to talk about this week? First of all, you know where I'm supposed to be today, people? I'm supposed to be a jury duty, okay? And for the first time since I was out here, I was actually going to show up, you know, I'm in town here for the rest of June. The only thing else I have coming up is I'm doing the Greg Giraldo benefit on June 29th at the Wiltern Theater with me in about probably another 15 other comedians, Jeff Ross, Christ. What am I going to have that goddamn list? I'll have it next week, right before the gig. It's going to be, it's going to be a great night. Obviously we all loved Greg and we want his family to be taken care of. So all the money goes towards his wife and his kids. So great benefits. So anyway, so I'm in town for the rest of the fucking month here and I'm supposed to do jury duty and I thought it was like the old school. All right. I got to go this day. So I'll go fucking go down there and evidently you're supposed to call within five days. I'm getting the, you have jury duty summons. So I didn't call in time, you know, so I called up and of course I can't get a person. Hello, you have called the Los Angeles Department of jury duty. If you're a fucking Jewish press, what, I had to go through all of that crap just to find out that I can't even go down there. And then they told me to pick another date within six months. So I say, I figured I'd pick, you know, around Christmas. So I picked fucking December 22nd. And then they said, we are sorry. That is more than six months away. And I said, well, then go fuck yourself. And I hung up. All right. I tried. I was, you know, already I was to cook fucking go do jury duty. I was going to go down there and one of those fucking goddamn, what do you call it? One of those dress shirts, you know, shirts you wear with a suit and tie. You know, the ones that have the short sleeve, I was going to, I'm going to go down there with one of those and tie on some black frame glasses. I want to look like Michael Douglas and falling down just to see what trial I was going to get picked for. I was up for it. Twelve angry men. I'm angry. I'm ready to fucking go down there. How the fuck you think he's fucking not guilty and going through that shit? I was up for it. But evidently they have to know you're showing up. You have to call and confirm and I didn't. So once again, once again, I have to worry if I get pulled over that that's going to show up. But fortunately I live in Los Angeles and one of the great things about Los Angeles is there's so much goddamn traffic out here. You can't speed. I don't drink and drive anymore. So I don't know. I just don't see myself getting pulled over plus I'm a fucking white guy who looks looks like he he's the guy who makes the chili at the firehouse. So I got that going for me, you know, my I'm going to jinx myself right now. I don't think I'm ever going to get pulled over out here. So if they can't do that then technically I don't really have to go to jury duty. You know, and everybody has their little fucking ideas, dude, just go down there. When you go down there, dude, you don't just say something fucking racist. People always say that. You go down there fucking go. The only thing I don't like more than blacks is to fucking Puerto Ricans don't even get me started on the fucking Jews, dude. You know, don't they know that you're just saying that at this point? I mean, unless you're down there and you're really dressed like Archie Bunker. You know, I think if you were a racist, if you truly were a racist, I don't think you would say anything. I think you would go down there and you would act like you weren't racist. And then you would be praying that you would get a defendant of a race that you didn't like. Isn't that what you would do instead of going down there? That's like selling drugs. Would you go down there going, I sell drugs? You know, I think racists know at this point that they probably got to keep their ideas to themselves unless they're at one of those Klan meetings, you know, a bunch of douchebags sitting around with a fucking comforter thrown over your face, just fucking getting all sweaty under there. Your face breaking out, you know, what's wrong with those people? Um, anyways, last week I talked, I discussed, uh, jerking off at work and evidently, uh, my web guy said, Bill, in response to the jerking off at work email, I counted 26 emails of people saying they have, they have or currently do jacket at work. One of the stories were good, just painting gross pictures. This is why, this is why I love the fact that someone else reads these fucking emails before they send them to me because I didn't have to read all of those, he said, but, uh, but I figure you can do something with that stat. Uh, most said they find bathrooms or do it while parked in their car if they're in the field. Oh Jesus, and then he goes, here's an article about Jimmy Hendrix jerking it in the army on the smoking gun.com by the way, I fucking hate the smoking gun.com. You know, just ratting everybody out. I read this whole thing. It's like Jimmy was at fuck, he was in the army. He had to go clean up some fucking some barracks and he went in the bathroom and he's rubbing one, I'm out, rubbing one out, he's in a stall. He's got the door fucking closed. So this other douche goes, uh, yeah, we were supposed to clean up whatever and now he was going for about 20 minutes, I then went into the latrine and saw Hendrix sitting in the last commode. I guess because he could see his feet. How did he know it was Jimmy? Did he have his army boots like purple with some glitter on him? Already dropping acid, um, he said, I thought he was sitting there sleeping. So I stood on a stool in the commode next to his and looked into his commode. Why didn't you fucking just knock on the door there? Don't ask. Don't tell. Huh? Who the fuck is this guy? He goes, uh, they're sat Hendrix masturbating himself. This is in 1962, evidently this was, uh, still considered some sort of weird behavior. Um, at that time, struggle, I guess that's his buddy, struggle. This is a name that just really got fucked out of commission, huh? None of the men with the last name, Strouble. They were all broads and they all got banged and they got different names. Um, at that time, Strouble came into the latrine and I motioned to him to come over and witness what was happening. Is that what you two little fruits did? Come here, let's, Jimmy's touching himself. Why wouldn't you have the normal reaction, either knock on the door or if you peaked over thinking you were going to make fun of them for evidently taking an odorless shit, you know, you would have peaked over and the second you saw him jerking off. Why wouldn't you? You would have been like, ah, what the Jesus, Jimmy, oh my God, what the, dude, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And just slowly backed out and then just, you know, spoken tongues like those fucking Jesus freaks trying to get that image out of your head. No, what does this guy do? He calls in old Strouble. Hey, Strouby, come here. You want to watch another man fucking jerk is goddamn dick. You know what, Kowalski? I don't think I want to. Why don't you go fucking. Why don't you go sit another one of the latrines and fucking think about what you just saw. Goddamn weirdo. So anyways, he goes, ah, so evidently Strouble goes in there too. He took a look and then went back into the squad bay and started working again. Really that was it. You guys didn't snicker. You didn't laugh. He went in there. Yes, I confirm private Kowalski that private Hendricks is in fact jerking his dick. Then what you did, you went in, you told on him so he could get another shiny thing in the front of your shirt, your fucking rat. That's what they should call the smoking gun. They should call it the rat.com. Hey, isn't that ironic that I finally read something from the smoking gun when I'm actually supposed to have jury duty? Isn't that interesting? There was a lot of shit this week that fucking annoyed me. On the gas mileage thing, I brought up last week how I was watching the goodbye girl and she was standing, one of the characters was standing in front of a fucking Subaru and it got 39 miles per gallon. And here it is 36 years later and my car only gets fucking a hybrid. Only gets 41 miles per gallon. So this brilliant guy writes in and he goes and he starts talking about leaded gas and all this fucking how cars today are heavier. This fucking moron thought cars today were heavier than cars back in the day. Like the 1959 Cadillac, I'm sure that that car was lighter than your average Toyota Camry. So anyways, somebody sent me, let me actually read this guy's response here. One of the many that I got on the gas mileage thing, it always blows my mind what people fucking respond to. So this guy ends up writing me, he goes, "There are two reasons. Wait a minute, it's loading, loading," I don't know, he gave me all these fucking reasons and I basically responded with, so basically you're telling me, he basically said that it had nothing to do with money, it had to do with the weight of the cars and somehow the mixture of the gasoline that we use nowadays, that's why they just can't figure out a fucking way to get more than like better than, what's the highest you've seen? Like 40, 45, this guy tried to say, "Well actually, there are things that get a hundred miles to gallon. They're scooters." Ah, what a moron. Because there's two reasons why old cars have such highly high published gas mileage. For one, the EPA test simply used to provide higher numbers. Sir, they've been doing that right up until the last couple of years ago. In fact, the year before I bought my Prius, they were legally able to claim that it got like 50, 50, I actually, almost 60 miles per gallon before they cracked down on the hybrid and made them say actually 41s. I'm aware of the EPA test. I'm aware that they do it when there's no headwind. I'm aware that most of the test is when they're fucking going 25 miles an hour and they only drive the car 55 miles an hour for about fucking 30 seconds. I realize that the numbers are skewed. Okay? He said it's been revived several times over the decade. Yes, so my Prius, your Prius would get like 70 miles per gallon on the old test. No, it wouldn't, sir. No, it wouldn't. It would get more like 60. That's what it did. Let's just say that it would get 70. Who gives a shit? He goes, where am I? The second reason is safety features. Check out the weight of your vehicles. Cars have gotten heavier. No, they haven't. Prius is not heavier than a fucking Subaru in the 1970s. It isn't. Dude, I'm old enough to remember when cars actually had metal on their dashboard. They're all plastics hunks of shit now. He goes, cars have even 15 years ago featured death traps when compared to the modern cars. No, they didn't. They've had the crumple-free zones, those crumple-free, they've had those crumple zones for years. Sir, in 1988, I was coming home from a Christmas party, drunk off my ass, sitting in the fucking passenger seat of a Pontiac Grand Prix. We pulled up to a red light. There was a fucking Jeep CJ7, the old school one, sitting there, all right? We saw it, I saw it, the driver saw it, but the alcohol didn't quite see it. We just sort of went, we were slowing down, but we didn't come to his complete stop and just completely rear-ended this guy, all right? There wasn't a scratch on the fucking Jeep. This goddamn car folded up like a fucking accordion. The engine dropped down underneath us and I got, I didn't even get a boo-boo. I just sort of, you know, I didn't have a seat belt on or nothing. The car was designed to take 80% of the fucking impact, all right? You're sitting in your cubicle just tossing these fucking numbers out, all right? So basically my response is, I'm saying it has nothing to do with money in the oil companies. So basically what you're telling me is that nowadays I can have a video conference with somebody in Brazil while my entire music collection is in my pocket on a phone that is also a camera and a video recorder. I can upload the content onto the internet and potentially have it viewed by every person in the fucking world, but we can't make a car that does any better than 40 miles per gallon. So fortunately, you know, everything else has fucking progressed except for gas mileage. Dude, I'm telling you, they have the technology to get like 500 miles per gallon. They're just not going to fucking put it out because that's how powerful the goddamn oil companies are. They're right up there with the banks. You got the banks and then you got the oil company. The banks control the money supply and then the oil companies, they control energy, okay? You control energy, you control the fucking population. Do you know that they're actually out here, there's people, they're selling kits out here to have your own fucking windmill so you can get yourself off the grid. So then they immediately passed the fucking law, General Electric, that General Electric had to come around and make sure that everything was safe. They had to get their fucking noses back in there. So because they can't have people disappearing off the fucking grid. You can't have people getting free energy other than the cost of the fucking windmill. You can't have them sitting there and every time the goddamn wind blows, it recharges a generator and now I don't have to work as much. If I don't have to work as much, I don't have to go into debt. You're getting yourself off of the fucking treadmill and they can't have that. All right, God damn it, I wish I was more intelligent so I could explain this better. But you know what? There's a great documentary. I'm actually going to email this guy back. It's called The Gas Hole Full Documentary and they have everything from the urban myth of the water powered carburetor, which this guy who wrote to me completely dismissed. He completely dismissed any sort of that that exists because he sits in a cubicle and I sit in a fucking bedroom, all right, and he tries to just say that's just another media hoax. Oh, you know, they said, do we beat Eisenhower, a fucking like dumb shit like that, okay? So this documentary, everything from like the urban myth that these water powered cars existed all the way up to actual a retired scientist who worked for Shell who you just have to watch this documentary. They were showing there was a book out that claimed that they could get 149 miles per gallon in the 1950s on like a Packard or a DeSoto. And by the 70s, this scientist who worked for Shell said they had gotten it up to a thousand miles per gallon. All right, I don't know why people think that it's it's absolutely impossible to improve the gas mileage. Some people feel that. I don't know why people feel like we can't come up with anything better than the gas combustion engine. It's complete fucking book. The same level of bullshit as that there's an actual difference between a Democrat and a Republican. Watch this documentary, the gas hole. We're going to have the link up on the Monday morning podcast. Just watch this shit. And I don't know what to tell you. Some of it looks like, okay, they have this old guy going, you know, and this guy showed up and he had it was a contraption made out of, you know, it was powered on water. And then he claimed that Shell bought the patent, gave him a million dollars and then he could never fucking, you know, make another one. Now that's the kind of shit. Some old guy saying that he saw it on a salt flat in the 1950s. I'm not going with that. All right. I'm not that much of a fucking whack job, but when a guy who worked used to work for Shell is coming out saying that type of stuff, it's just, it gets to the point like are all of these people nuts? You know what I mean? There's no fucking way. I don't give a shit whether there's lead and gas, whether there's not lead and gas, how much the car fucking weighs or any of that bullshit. There's no fucking way that in almost 40 years, you can't do better than two more miles per gallon. I absolutely fucking refuse to believe it. I absolutely, I fucking refuse to believe it. I think it's complete fucking horseshit. It's just another way to keep control of the herd. Now if you want to argue that you need to keep control of the herd or there's going to be absolute chaos, so we have to keep cars down like that, I will listen to that argument. But if you're going to comment me and tell me that in 2000 fucking 11, okay, when I'm reading shit that in the medical field, they can now grow a fucking a new colon for somebody outside of the body. I read this thing on that Ted.com, this woman had a completely ulcerated large intestine. So they took some sort of tissue culture, whatever the fuck that means out of her diseased colon, choose that to then grow another one outside of her body. When they were done growing it, they took the old one out and put the new one in like she went down to Midas Muffler and it totally fucking worked, okay? Up until like five years ago, you were looking at a colostomy bag, you would have a bag of shit right under her fucking right titty for the rest of her goddamn life. Her social life would have been over, okay? If they can do that, you're telling me, you're still going to tell me they can't do anything better than about 40 fucking 45 miles a gallon. You're really going to sit there and believe that in your goddamn cubicle that they just can't fucking just can't fucking figure it out. The only way I can get like a hundred miles a gallon is if I ride on a fucking scooter. You sir believe in Santa Claus. I just, it just blows my fucking mind how some people just sit there and they believe that they believe that they're not even conscious of the amount of times that they themselves lie during the course of the day, that they themselves spin shit to try to advance their own fucking lives. Why would you think that a goddamn corporation would be honest? You know, this guy is saying advances in your computing, your music collection and video conferences are strictly due to more law, more's law, excuse me, computing power roughly doubles per square inch every 18 months. That means since 1978, it's doubled 28 times. Yes, I understand, I understand that computers have, have, have advanced. Why hasn't gas mileage? It's just, it's just fucking, I, I, I, and this is nothing too. So then he uses that same sort of ratio with the gas mileage and then he goes back to what the fuck the gas mileage is in the 70 was, is if that wasn't a fucking lie, I, I give up. Sir, could you please watch this gas hole documentary? Could you please watch it? I know you're not a moron. It just frustrates me when people believe in corporations that they're actually doing the right thing. Despite the fact, the amount of times that there's been unclassified information and then you find out kind of what's really going on and every time it's, you know, it's usually some diabolical shit. How many corporations have to dump shit into the water supply before you stop trusting them? You know, the goddamn fucking place where they make the iPhone, there's people jumping to their deaths rather than because that's a better option than sitting there making another fucking iPhone. And then people actually believe the horseshit that corporations say, well, well, unless you want that iPhone to cost nine million dollars, that's the only way to build one. Really, or maybe you yourself shouldn't make 80 million dollars a fucking year or whatever you're making. The reason why if you actually paid that guy a decent wage or that poor woman a decent fucking wage, the reason why then it's going to cost me way more money for the fucking iPhone is because you're not going to take a pay cut. And the reason why you make the amount of fucking money that you make is because you're exploiting poor people who live in third world countries. That's why you make 80 million dollars a year, not because you're fucking worth it. You greedy fucking cunt. Oh, I'm on my high horse this fucking week. All right, let's fucking try and lighten it up everybody. You wouldn't know it, but yet another Boston team won a fucking championship this week. Congratulations to the 2011 Stanley Cup champions, the Boston Bruins. I got to admit, as a sports fan, I didn't know that I was ever going to see it. I've been watching the Bruins since 1982 and going through all those Harry's sending years where Harry's sending was a great guy. He might even be in the hockey hall of fame for all. I know he's been around so fucking long. He just hated free agency. He fucking resented it. And I we just never seem to be making the moves, you know, or even when we had the team, they just somehow we just I don't know if there was all the years we could never get by the Canadians. And then when we finally get by the goddamn Canadians, we ran into those great Edmonton teams. And I don't know. I'm not going to be one of those guys who was like, dude, I called it. I knew there was something special. I didn't think we had enough. I didn't think I thought because we didn't have a Crosby and a Vetchkin, we didn't have like that super, super star offensive player. I still felt we needed that despite the fact that we had Tim Thomas and you know, Lucicic Cragie, all these guys, Patrice Bergeron, I knew we had a great team. But I thought we were good enough to get to the Eastern Conference Finals. That's what I thought. And I thought when we went up against Tampa, I said, I believe I said on the podcast, I thought not only was Tampa going to beat us, I thought that they were going to win the whole, the whole thing because I thought they had it. I thought they had it when they had Stancoast, St. Louis, the Cavier, they had a great gold tender to just look like they just had that momentum thing that I had seen every fucking year. The Bruins would go to the playoffs. We'd run into a team like that. And I have to admit, I am absolutely fucking stunned. I can't believe we won it. And I screamed like a little girl when I figured out that there wasn't enough time left for Vancouver to check to catch up. It was right before Brad Mashaan scored the empty net goal. We were up three to nothing. And I believe there was about five minutes left. And it just seemed like Vancouver couldn't get it past Santa Rice at that point. And I screamed like a little girl. I was like, oh my God, they're going to do it. They're going to do it. Oh my God. I was freaking the fuck out. I was in the Chicago theater. I'd just done one of those anti social network tours shows with Jim Brewer, David Tell and the mastermind behind the tour, Jimmy Norton. And it worked. I was so freaking freaking out that I was going to miss game seven. I'm like, what are the fucking odds, you know, that I would have a Wednesday gig, a Wednesday. I never work on Wednesday. I might travel on a fucking Wednesday, but I'd have a gig. Well, it worked out where I ended the way it timed out. I got brought on stage with about two minutes left in the first period. No wait. I actually went on during the intermission between the first and the second period. And by the time I got off stage and oh, by the way, I was so into the Bruins games. I didn't even take a look at the theater, which is something I usually do before I went out on stage just to kind of get a feel for the room. That was pretty, pretty breathtaking. I don't know if you guys have ever been to the Chicago theater, but it looked like half of Royal Albert Hall. It really looked like whoever designed that definitely took some nods from that place. It was absolutely one of the most beautiful theaters I've ever been in here in the States. Royal Albert Hall, well, I think will always be the greatest one I ever went to. That's in London for anybody who didn't listen to my podcast when I went over there. And anyways, just absolutely gorgeous theater. Went out there, went out and had just a great set, did my time, and ran off stage, and when I came up, I think there were about six minutes into the third period, which was actually a great thing because when I watched the replay, Vancouver had the puck in our zone for like it felt like the first 10 minutes of the period. So I avoided aging another 10 years. And I think it was one nothing at that point, then two nothing, then three nothing. And you know, Boston fan, I was beaten down for so fucking long. I still always wait for the other shoe to drop despite the unbelievable amount of success of our teams in the last nine years. And I was just thinking, okay, they're going to come out on fresh ice in the third period. Please don't let them get a quick goal. And like I said, once it ticked down, there was like 10 minutes left. I started getting that feeling. But it wasn't until five minutes left that I finally gave into it. And there was this other Boston fan going, when they were up like two, three nothing or two nothing. He was like, dude, it's over. It's over. He was one of those guys. I'm like, dude, you got to fucking jinx it. I still had some of that old lady in me, but I can't fucking believe it. I absolutely cannot believe it and watching them go, watching Charles Skate over looking back at the rest of his teammates before he picked up the Stanley Cup was one of the greatest things I ever saw. And it was just fucking awesome. It was fucking awesome. It's the best trophy in sports. I got to admit, I think I actually enjoyed this one better than the Red Sox beating the Yankees in 2004 if he could fucking believe that. How satisfying that was. Yeah, I just liked because it's just a great sport. And I also liked that there wasn't any of that cartoonish curse of the babe horseshit. And now they don't have to go talk to fucking lobster fisherman tying sailor knots like, you know, I just, I don't know, it was fucking awesome. My condolences to the Vancouver Canucks fans. I know what it's like to lose a game seven in the playoffs, but not in the finals. That must have been absolutely devastating. And I actually had a hookup for tickets. If you can believe it. And I was really bummed like fuck, I could have gone, but I got to admit man after watching that writing afterwards, I was actually psyched. I didn't go. That was absolute insanity. And I know people in Vancouver, I know what you're going to say like, listen, don't define us by a hundred thousand bad apples. What the fuck is going on in Canada? All right, I'm down here in the States. And according to Michael Moore and his goddamn documentaries, Canada is this fucking utopia. They have night nationwide health care, you can leave your doors unlocked, you know, you can fucking go up and pet a moose right on its nose. Everybody's so goddamn friendly up there. I was talking about this last year when I did the Montreal Comedy Festival, you know, if it's so fucking friendly, why do you guys riot? Like full on fucking riot. It's not like you lit a fucking trash can on fire or you jumped up and down on a couple of cars. You started attacking stores. I mean, you took it to a whole nother fucking level. You know, I don't know why, why does America, the only one that has that reputation? I actually watched, you know, Vancouver, the last time they had a riot was when they lost to the Rangers or a riot to this magnitude, of course, I didn't do enough research, was in 1994 after they lost to the fucking New York Rangers, you know? And there's a great, there's a great YouTube clip of it with the lady, the lady on the news goes, she was talking about how shocking this footage was before we go to it. It's very shocking and blah, blah, blah, and this is the type of thing that you would expect to see in America, not in Canada, which is funny because we're all in America. We're in North America, what you should've said was the United States. She goes, basically this is the type of thing you'd expect to see in the United States. And I got pissed for half a second and I was like, well, you know, she is right. I mean, it was right after the fucking LA riots. But this is the thing, Vancouver had a riot in 1994. So I looked up, you know, riots because I knew Montreal had some riots, Montreal rioted in 2010 and 2008, both, both times they rioted was after they won games. They won games and they started to burn down their city. And like I said, it's not like it's like 40 fucking people, you know, going around, you know, tipping over trash cans and doing some sort of misdemeanor rioting. This is full on tipping cars over. I mean, it was fucking written and then in Toronto, they had a riot in 2010 at the G20 riots. Now that one is a little more understandable. G20 evidently is 20 banks from around the fucking world that are trying to get together to solve the economic crisis. They're trying to solve it. I'm sure that guy who believes that oil companies are not involved or not throwing any, they're not going on buying up patents by people who are inventing more efficient engines. Why would they do that? Just because they have billions of dollars and it's financially in their best interest to keep gas mileage down as low as they possibly can so they can all make more money. Why would they do things like that? You never notice that every once in a while inventions come out, you're like, holy shit, that's going to fuck over that industry and then they kind of disappear. Do you remember that shit on TV just for 1995, like disposable razors, one of the biggest fucking scams on the planet, not only the fact that there's no way to sharpen the fucking thing, it's also the fact that they charge you like fucking $900 to buy eight of them. Like they're made out of gold rather than some really cheap fucking metal. It's a complete, sorry, I got cut off there, the stupid batteries ran out. Anyways, yeah, so rather than they made out of some cheap kind of metal, and then one year all of a sudden I saw somebody came up when I was 1995 things, which you know is a hunk of shit, but basically showed you could sharpen your disposable razors and I'm like, that's fucking great. And then all of a sudden it's gone and no one comes out and makes a better one, guys who shave and who was sick of making, of paying $9 zillion for fucking disposable razors. If they made a quality one for 30 bucks, wouldn't you go out and go buy it? I mean, is it that fucking hard to come up with that fucking invention? Why hasn't anybody come up with that? The only inventions they seem to be coming up with that comes from just regular people that they can actually get out there, it's just dumb shit. Like stuff like, oh, you're sick of dropping your keys between your fucking ass and the console. Here's a piece of foam will stick in there, but anything else that is going to fuck over another like really powerful corporation never seems to come out. And I'm telling you, I know I'm a paranoid psychopath, but right, I'll admit that, okay? I will definitely admit that, but on the other side, you're really going to sit there and think that these corporations don't have so much fucking money that they don't go out there and try to crush the fucking competition and that if somebody goes out there and invent something that would drastically compromise their bottom line, they don't go out there and try to throw a bunch of fucking money at the person to buy their patent. No, you don't think that? Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus right down Santa Claus Lane. I'm telling you, you got your fucking head up your ass and it must be a fucking absolute utopia and absolute fucking utopia that you live in, that you actually sit there and believe in these, all of this shit, all the way cigarette companies covered up all kinds of studies and that type of shit, all the things that they did, the stuff that they put in them to deliberately make it even more addicting to ramp tobacco was already addicting and then they threw other stuff in there and they actually ramped it up so high that it was more addicting than fucking heroin. You're telling me about the oil companies, the oil companies, all those guys, those guys are fucking, those are quality human beings right there, those people who work in the oil industry, they're salt to the earth kinds of people right there, they don't give a fuck, we're over in the Middle East right now people because we so care about our fellow human beings that we want to go over there and liberate them, that's what we want to do. Now I'm not saying you as an individual sitting there and your cubicle does not have compassion or empathy for people around the fucking globe but I'm just saying when you get up to the tippity top up there, it's all about money and it's about power and it's about controlling people. That's all it's about. It has nothing to do with them helping liberate, it's just complete horseshit. It's like a catcher who catches a ball that's a little outside, he tries to frame it and make it look like a strike. That's just the shit that they say to you. I 100% fucking believe that, okay, they don't even give a shit about people in this country. The way they handled fucking New Orleans, the way insurance companies are just able to walk away after these people paid money to have insurance for that exact fucking disaster. I've worked down in New Orleans. The stories people have that insurance companies come in like, yeah listen, we're not covering anything above four feet because the water line's only at four feet. So take it, leave it, go fuck yourself. All of that insurance companies, oil companies, it's politics, it's all complete bullshit and I am absolutely, I'm not mad at you if you believe in those industries, I am more fascinated by you. So whatever, you would think that I wouldn't have this sort of fucking fire and brimstone this week, would you, with another Boston team winning a championship? If I actually have to admit, as a sports fan, I said, I know I've said it countless times on this podcast that if the Bruins won the Stanley Cup, that was the only other championship I needed to see by a Boston team, I was going to retire as a sports fan, which is what I think I'm going to do. I'm done. It's not going to get any better than this. I think I'm walking away, walking away, I'm going to retire like Jay-Z did after the black album and I'm just going to drop in and do some guest spots every once in a while. I'm trying to figure out what teams, I'm back into the Pittsburgh Pirates, I've been following them lately. Still the 1979 team, that was my favorite World Series of all time, other than obviously watching the Red Sox winning in 2004. I fucking love that team, I love the players, I love the uniforms and I loved Sister Sledge. It was just, it was a fucking, not trifector, there was four there, I suck at math, whatever. So, I actually went back and I started looking, this is what a fucking nerd am, I'm looking at championships. I'm sitting there trying to think, within a 10 year period, basically 10 year period, from February, from February 2002 to June of 2011, less than 10 years, Boston, a city with four teams, one team in every major sport, one at least one championship in all four sports. We ran the table, all right? The fucking championship grand slam and I'm saying we, yes I am because I live vicariously through them, all right? Don't even give me that shit, dude you didn't do anything, fuck you, I get devastated when they lose. So why I'm not allowed to have some joy, you fucking cunt, I know this is ridiculous, let me have my bread and circus. So anyways, we've run the fucking table, so I actually looked back all the way until the 19 fucking 20s to try to find another, you can't even do it, I was trying to find another city that has four teams that has won all four trophies within 10 years and no one's ever done it and you can only go back to 1950 because that's when the NBA started. Okay, they're Lakers with your fucking BAA championship in 1949 that you add to try to come close to the Celtics, your cunts, sorry. The closest I saw was in the 1960s and it was the city of New York and they have six teams so they don't really qualify and even then the Rangers fucked it up for them. The Yankees won in, let's see, 61, they won in 60, 60, 62. The Mets won in 69, the 68 Jets team won and then the 1970 Knicks won. So that was four but they didn't get the Stanley Cup and not to mention they would double down in both fucking football and baseball. So it doesn't really count but I wasn't able to find another one. The closest shit that I was able to find was Pittsburgh, the Pirates, Steelers won it in 79 and then the Penguins, but they only have three teams, but the Penguins won it in 91. That was like the closest I was able to find, I'm sure there's some other things here and I bet New Yorkers would try to get technical and be like, "Well the Islanders are in New York, they want it, go fuck yourselves, go fuck yourselves." And actually New York City is actually very quietly a devastating place to be a sports fan. It's just that the Yankees are so successful and they so blow themselves every 20 minutes about their amazing accomplishments that you never really think about Jets fans, Mets fans, Knicks fans, Rangers fans. Giants though, Giants are a quality squad. They've won three and as far as being in football like three to me is the tipping point where you are then into the upper restaurant line of teams. Although with Green Bay now with four, I don't know because they got four Cowboys and 49ers have five and the Steelers have six. So I now think that because the Packers won that having three is now a little more mediocre which also knocks my Patriots down. But anyways, we won seven fucking championships, we ran the goddamn table, we got all the fucking trophies and I'm done. So now what I'm trying to do is I'm trying, now I'm going to sponsor, you know like when you sponsor a starving child, I'm going to sponsor a city. I'm going to start rooting for them. All right, I'll root for the San Diego Padres but I will not root for the San Diego Chargers just because I went down there to a sporting event and it was one of the worst times I ever went. One of the worst fucking fans just like, I swear to God dude, it's just, I can't explain it. You'd have to come out here. It's not fun on the West Coast. It just isn't. They have moron fans slash then they also have like the fucking the gang culture out here and it's just, it's just not a good time. Like I have no desire, like I like the Dodgers, I'd like to go to a game but I just really don't have any desire to go out there and either sit down low with Hollywood fans who show up late or sit in the upper deck with fans who they can't go, they can't talk sports beyond Boston fucking sucks and then you sprinkle in there the gang culture slash tattoo on your fucking neck. I'll stab you after the game and it's, I don't know, it's not, it's not fun and I went to games in Philly and New York and those fans are fucking animals. Boston fans are fucking animals, they're fucking Canada, they light their goddamn cities on fire. Granted, I haven't been there during that time. I just, you know, I don't know, I just have not had a good time here, like someone was trying to tell me that LA is actually going to get a football team. He's like, dude, are you psyched? Are you psyched? It's like that? I'm not going to that shit. I'm not going to go to it. Unless they give it like a really, like, I don't know, like they got, you know what? If I was like the mayor of this city, I would demand that they give the team some neutral colors. Usually you want to have a badass uniform, give it some neutral colors so the gangs won't wear the colors, you know, and start going down. They're like, they used to go down, they were like the Raiders, like the Raiders are probably the worst franchise that you could have brought down here to LA, you know, with the awful relationship between the police and in the poorer neighborhoods. Like, that was one thing that actually fascinated me. Like, I wanted to ask, why Vancouver, all right, I'm not going to sit here and judge you guys because we had the LA riots, all right. We have a very questionable foreign policy at this point. So who the fuck am I to look down my nose at you, all right? Despite the fact you can't have been doing it to us forever, all right. I'm going to give you a chance to explain those riots rather than me sitting here way down in fucking Los Angeles like I know what's going on. Why do you think, why do you guys riot when you lose the Stanley Cup? Because I know it isn't just about that. That means there's another area of frustration in your life. And that's why people go to sports. It's a fucking outlet. It's an outlet. You're divorced. You're playing, you're paying child support. Your wife was a cunt about you trying to have the kids this father's day weekend. You know, maybe at least the home team can win a championship and then it doesn't happen. And then you want to smash the fucking Starbucks sign. What's going on up there? Why does that at what? Why do you guys do that shit? Because that wasn't just drunk fans who were upset. Like that was fucking epic. That was like hours and hours like, you know, the footage that's like three blocks away because the reporters are scared to get close to it and this smoke and fire. Why do you guys riot? Because according to Michael Moore down here, you guys live in a fucking utopia, you know? I don't fucking know. So anyways, let's get on with the fucking podcast here. These painters and woodworking people are going to be here soon. See, there's so much of a fucking nerd I am. Do you guys know that I can off the top of my head name every champion in all four sports from 1960 on? And now after compiling this list, I can now kind of do it. I can do it in hockey and I kind of do it in baseball from 1950 on. Is there something wrong with me that I'm absolutely fascinated with this shit? Like that I'm absolutely fascinated that like from from 1940 to 1970, Montreal won 12 Stanley Cups and Toronto won 10. How fascinating that is to me that they were basically going blow for blow like Lakers Celtics during that time. And then Toronto fell off and Montreal put it out of reach when in seven in the seventies. I just find it fascinating that from 1940 to 1970, Montreal wins 12. Toronto wins 10. The red wings get five and it really put into perspective the Rangers, the Bruins and the Blackhawks, how we were fucking. We all just won one. How we were kind of the doormats of the league and I don't know. Thank God for fucking Detroit doing something for the American teams. But also that was during the I actually look at what Toronto did is a more of an amazing accomplishment because they didn't have the advantage that Montreal had with that first pick of all French born Canadian players, which to me to this day, if you're going to put an asterisk next to anything you that's fucking a ridiculous advantage. A game that is invented in Canada. All right. So you already have that advantage. Half the people in America didn't even know what the fuck the sport was. And then you have a certain section of Canada that is just your draft picks and your draft picks alone until you're done picking them and then everybody else can get the scraps. It's just fucking beyond me. I don't know. This is going to fucking annoy people who aren't into sports. Let's let's move on here with the with the podcast because the people are coming here soon. Let me get back to the inbox here. Please watch that documentary, by the way, the gas hole. We'll have the link, the full documentary. It's absolutely I only watched the first 15 minutes of it and if you're any sort of thinking human being, it was everything that you're already kind of new anyways. Here's another one. In the 70s, they were driving leaded gasoline. Remember, the difference may come from the lack of lead. Cars perform better on leaded gas. I appreciate that it's true that we are being manipulated by corporate America. So well, then pick, pick a side. I understand, actually, I don't understand the difference between leaded and unleaded gasoline. I don't understand the difference of that. Okay. I guess that that performed better, but unleaded was better for the environment. Okay. Now, scientifically, I can't explain why that is, but I'm also not a moron. And I understand and I've read enough on corporations. I understand how they fucking work. That's all about the bottom line and every quarter, they have to show a profit or it's considered a failure. They can't even show the same profit. They can't even be like, we made six billion last quarter and we made six billion this quarter. That's considered a failure. They have to go up to seven billion. Now, at some point, you're going to exhaust all ethical ways of making money and you're going to start delving into the world of fucking evil, which is, I think they're, they're up to their heads in it. I don't buy it. Anyways, Bill, love the podcast. This is such a great way to start. The reason the US Camry gets 26 miles per gallon and the Pakistani version gets 39 is simple. Wait, it's simple. It's simple controlling the world's energy is a simple thing. The US version has airbags, crumple zones, roll cages, a roll cage. It doesn't have a fucking roll cage you moron. It might be structurally more sound. It doesn't have a really does have a roll cage and the fucking doors are welded, which adds 650 pounds to the weight of the car. Imagine the mileage you would get in your Prius with those fat twins, blah, blah, blah, but you're, you're an idiot. You're, you're not an idiot. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I refuse to believe that. Okay. You're just like me. You're a fucking regular person. You went up, you looked, you looked at some stats to try and support your fucking argument just like I'm doing, but I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sticking by this one. I know I'm fucking right on this one. I remember one time I had this old piece of shit truck, right? That I drove for like 10 years because I knew I wanted to be a comedian and I didn't want to go into debt. So when the engine finally died, I threw a new engine in there and the guy told me he needed to rebuild the carburetor. I'm like, you don't need to rebuild the carburetor. So you know what this cunt did? He fucking adjusted the carburetor so I would just get shitty gas mileage, hoping I would be an absolute fucking moron and then drive back and be like, well, I guess you're right. I'm just, I'm just chowing through gas here. That's what this motherfucker did at his little garage. This little piece of shit did that because it wasn't enough that he fucking made 1600 fucking bucks off me. He wanted to make like fucking 1900 bucks. So he did that just as a fucking individual and you're going to try and tell me that a corporation that basically controls the world's fucking energy is not going to buy up patents by people that are making or coming up with carburetors and stuff like carburetors, but coming up with alternate ways of powering a car more efficiently. They're not going to buy that up. Do they have that whole Stanley mayor thing? And that's not a conspiracy theory either. We actually, we actually played the news clip on the Opian Anthony show Stanley mayor, great news for individuals, but bad news for oil companies claims he's come up with an engine that can run on any type of water. Fresh water, salt water, rain water doesn't make a difference and he claims he can drive across the country on 28 gallons of water. This is of such interest. The Pentagon is sending a lieutenant colonel out there. That was the actual news clip from the Opian Anthony show. It was an actual news clip. It's not some bullshit I read on a fucking website. Okay. Now, what happened after that? Nobody knows. But basically within 10 years, Stanley was dead and his car disappeared and his brother right now is trying to get the car back and nobody knows where the fuck it is. All right. I truly believe that the quickest death sentence you could possibly have is to go in the news and claim that you've come out with an alternate source of energy that's going to put a corporation out of business that is making, that is projected to make $350 billion next year. How much do you think your life is worth? And if you have $350 billion, how easy is it, do you think to get somebody to solve this problem? You can't have people getting free energy, all right, because they're not going to work. Every time the fucking wind blows, I can watch another fucking eight hours of TV. You know, am I going to be putting in for overtime? Am I going to be working like a dog like these other goddamn people? You know, if every time it rains, I got enough fucking water to fucking drive all the way to God damn Kansas, I got enough water to drive to Kansas City and back. Do you think that they can have that? I'm telling you, if when it rained, if it rained oil, let's just flip this for a second. If it rained oil and it was a lubricant, but somehow it made the trees grow, I guarantee you whatever powered the cars would not be oil, gas and oil, I guarantee you, it wouldn't. It would be something else. They have to make it. They have to keep you away from it. Am I out of my fucking, I probably am out of my mind. I just don't, I don't believe it. I just don't fucking, I don't believe it. I don't believe any of it. And I think anybody out there who's tried to climb any sort of like ladder of power, you haven't noticed that the higher up you went, the more compromised, what the fuck, the more you had to compromise what you wanted, my business is no different. It's no fucking different. The higher up you get, the more is at stake, the more money is at stake, the more the art gets compromised. Look at this shit. I can say whatever the fuck I want on this goddamn podcast, there's nothing at stake. I don't make any fucking money off of this shit. All right. But if all of a sudden I started getting advertising on this thing, right, like a severe level of advertising to the point, let's say I was actually able to make a million dollars a year off of this shit. And all of a sudden I'm going off on Jesus and that type of shit. And then all of a sudden some fucking advertising goes, hey, we're going to pull the spots here and your money is going to drop down, back down to nothing or whatever, drop down to like a hundred grand a year. You're telling me in my head, I'm not going to start thinking like, well, maybe I won't say what I think about religion, okay. That's just a million dollars. Forget about 350 billion dollars in some douche bag on Long Island comes up with a fucking car that can run on water, you know, and he's not, and that guy wasn't evidently willing to sell his fucking invention. I got to tell you this, people, if you're out there and you're working on an engine that can work on somehow was powered by water, don't go to the news with it. All right. I don't know how to get it out there, but I'm telling you, if you were able to come up with something like that, and let's say on the sly, you started building them, all right. There's no way to keep it a secret. And when the oil companies found out that you had it, there would be like men in black type vans pulling up to your fucking warehouse, okay? And they would be smiling, but they'd have that look where they're looking right through the back of your head. And at first they'd try to pay you off and buy the fucking patent. And if you didn't sell it to them, they would move to the next phase. And you would somehow mysterious like the urban myth with that guy, Stanley Mayors, basically he was in a diner. He stood up and said, my God, they've poisoned me. He walked out in the parking lot and dropped dead. Shortly thereafter, his cart in with the invention in it disappeared. And now his brother's trying to find out what's got what happened to him, which he never will. This is probably one of the craziest podcasts I've ever done. Am I freaking you guys out? Good. All right. Painters are coming here soon. Let's see if I got time for a couple of advice things. Oh, what about a question? Hey, Bill. Hey, uh, you big thanks, big thank you to your parents for reproducing you for reproducing and making me is what you, I think you're trying to say, reproducing me. Did they make it? Did they make another fucking me? What is your take on cutism of Sharon tweed? I don't know who that is. Oh, Shannon tweed. She and Kiss frontman Jean Simmons were on the Joy Behar show and she has finally reached her breaking point with her wandering wiener with his wandering wiener. She's been his girlfriend for almost two decades. She knew and accepted his group sex lifestyle this whole time. Now that the kids are out of the house, it seems like she had these grand illusions that she could make Jean Simmons a one woman man and is publicly acting out whenever he mentions the sex he's had with horror number 999 or 1000. Is this just like abroad or what? Yours in Christ, Eric S. Oh, then he says, P.S., if I hear this on the podcast, I'll donate $49. Dude, you don't need to bribe me. Keep your fucking money anyways. What is my take on this? It's just a show. It's just a show. She's, she's playing the part. She's acting like she's outraged. They're trying to have these media moments where she flips the fuck out because they're trying to get people to watch the show. Okay, Jean Simmons is not a good looking man. He's actually a bizarre looking man and I think he doesn't even have the decency to use Grecian formula. I think he is just using straight up shoe polish. Kiss has an inability to write a good song from the jump, which is why they have to wear all the makeup and have fire coming out of their balls. It's the Madonna thing. It's like if Madonna could actually sing and write a fucking song, would she really have to roll around the floor like a fucking whore with half a pussy lip hanging out, hanging out? Would she? I don't think she would. So what do I think this is a complete media stunt? And I think Jean Simmons is an unbelievably insecure human being that he has to walk around talking about how many fucking women he's bagged and actually, I mean, honestly, what point do you stop counting? You know, 878? Does he have a little diary? I don't understand the whole thing. But as far as like his girl going on there, I mean, let's just say that she actually loves this guy and she's actually a functioning human being. I think she's an unbelievable trooper and there's something fucking wrong with her. Like why would you stay with somebody like that who's just been completely unfaithful unless you just you just have you've worked it out, which is I think she has. It's a complete business thing. She wants to be taken care of. He does. So now they have a new reality show out because God knows who gives a fuck about a 2011 kiss album coming out and them having to walk out and tight leather pants with their giant fucking heads. Nobody cares. Nobody. I'm just trying to piss off kiss fans. I don't give a fuck. Okay. I know the kiss army gives a shit, but the kiss army alone is not enough to keep a show on the air. So what they have to do is go on and just do this big media stunt where she's finally putting her her foot down after he bangs the 2000th woman of his fucking career. So that's just just a fucking media stunt. All right. Advice. Oh, there's the painters. All right. I got to go. You guys were hanging. I'm going to put this on hold here. Hold on. Hold on. All right. False alarm. He's down the street at home depot. Yeah. I got a couple more things. I got to buy. Um, I don't even know what the hell I was talking about. Oh, yeah. It's just a media stunt. They just, it's just all for the fucking show, you know? I mean, what what what what actual relationship would play that out on television? That's that's just fucking bizarre. I've seen the billboard as I drive down sunset, you know, you know, he wants to rock. She's ready to roll. You get it? Huh? He still wants to fuck around, but he was a fucking, it's fucking green acres. That's all it is. You know, he's from the city. She's from the country. He wants to fuck. She wants him to be faithful. There's your conflict. That's basically when you sell a TV show. They always go, well, how are we going to get, you know, five seasons out of this? How do we keep this going? There's got to be, we need more conflict between the characters. So there you go. They have the conflict. It's complete horseshit and the show's going to stink. Um, Jess, I can't watch Gene Simmons. He's unbelievably insecure guy and then he over-contensates it with a massive fucking ego and it's uncomfortable to watch how a man who looks like that. I mean, if I looked like, you know what he looks like? He actually looks like the male version of that broad, that fucking Schwarzenegger banged. They have the same exact fucking head. You know, that Transylvania looking fucking head, like, you know, like how, uh, even like a vampire kind of needs like a butler, you know, and it's always some fucking weird looking somebody with like a, like a hunchback. That's what he looks like. Um, anyways, let's, let's do one quick advice thing. Uh, Bill, I know you probably won't have any advice for this problem as I'm probably just fucked, but maybe if I type it out, I will feel better. Jesus Christ, look how fucking long this is. Sometimes I think people do this on purpose because they know I'm not good at reading out loud. Although I feel I've gotten better. Anyways, my dog's staring at me. We're going to go on a hike later. You want to go outside? Yes, you do. All right. Hang on a second. Um, so about five years ago, I was living with my folks and working an hour away from home, saving money to move. I met a girl that was really hot and I thought we had similar interest. Okay. There's a major red flag when you said I thought, uh, the sex was great, blah, blah, blah. I started to realize that she was a bit of a jackass, but I wasn't quite as smart as they am now. So I stayed with, with her for a while. Of course you did. She's hot. Uh, she's also a single mom, oh Jesus, and just waiting tables. All right, dude. Did this actually happen? Or is this like a country song? Um, I met this girl. She was really beautiful. Worked down at the diner and she had a kid. I don't know how to read. So that's as good as I can do. Um, honey, why do we see the street when we drive the car? Did you sell the floorboards for more meth? I'll punch you in the stomach. I don't need another kid. Let's go smoke some meth with a cop. Um, anyways, she comes to me one day and asks me to cosign a loan so she can go to a mechanic's school and get a job fixing cars. Uh oh, uh oh, she jumping on the other side of the fence here. Don't mean to be stereotypical. She said none of her family had any credit and that, that they couldn't cosign. Like a total dumbass, I cosigned her loan. I told her that I would help her, but she would have to pay it all back and I wouldn't help, and I wouldn't help her make any of the mis payments of Jesus Christ and your name is on it. So where's her fucking motivation there? Her credit's already fucked because she needs you to cosign the loan. So she's basically on a sinking ship that weighs way more than your ship. You have a, you have a little rowboat and you just tied it to the fucking Titanic. So what do you think is going to happen? I'm going to guess everybody that he's going to go under two. Uh, time goes on. We stay friends and I move out of town. Many dates, other guys, I date tons of girls, blah, blah, blah. Oh, so I guess the relationship ended. I'm finally getting my life together a few years later with a great new job. I've paid off my car, dude, this is, oh my God, and I'm finished paying off my college loan and I start getting calls from the bank over 50 bucks that she didn't pay before some deferment kicks in because she's back in school again. I send her a message on Facebook. What's the whole world can see or you send, oh, a message, okay, telling her I don't want my credit fucked up and I try to call her to amazingly, she changed her number. She stops answering my Facebook messages and deletes me there. Now see, sir, the one from before this is just like a woman right here. Used her pussy to suck this guy in to vacuum some money out of his fucking wallet. And now she's walking away like the femme fatale she is. It's been a few months and the bank was calling me every day. Now they are saying they will take money out of my paycheck if I don't pay up. I got a letter a day ago saying I owe them $15,000 and I have to respond in a month. I know I signed a piece of paper so I don't really have any recourse. I was stupid for trying to help her better her life and I think she's just trying to fuck me over. Even though she told me plenty of times that that wasn't her attention. I get so fucking angry thinking about this, dude, I feel for you, man. I mean, I can't imagine the thoughts that you're having. Please don't act on any of them. The stress of having a loan over my head that doesn't benefit me in the least. The fact that my credit might be fucked and mess up my future plans. The fact that I was dumb enough to try and help somebody and it's just fueling this rage. This rage I feel to women for being lazy, manipulating sacks of shit. As much as I trash women and I like doing it because I think it's funny because it doesn't seem to happen on television. They're always shown as victims rather than this type of thing. It really is a particular type of woman. You know, they say a good man's hard to find and it's the same thing with a woman. What can I do? Let them suck money out of my bank account for a decade until I pay them back. File for bankruptcy. How, how would that fuck up my credit? Would it even wipe out the debt? I don't have a lot of, I don't have a lot, a decent apartment, a car, maybe $1,000 in the bank account and being unemployed for a while and finally getting a new job, after being unemployed for a while and finally getting a new job. Sorry for the long email. I love your podcast. All right, dude. I totally feel for you. I know it's breaking your balls up there. I didn't realize how this thing was going to end. Jesus Christ. What can you do, man? I would try to maybe try to go legally at her so she just can't walk away, which is going to cost you more money. The last thing I would do is don't let this, don't let it get to the point where they put it to a collection agency because it's going to fuck your credit. If it's a $50 payment, whatever it is, I would start making the payments and then I would try to take some sort of legal action against her. That's what I would do. But in the long run, if you declare bankruptcy, you're going to put yourself behind the eight ball. I know it sucks, but a $15,000 loan. What are the payments on that? There's got to be 100 in change. I have no idea. You kind of got to pay it, but I would definitely try to go as much as you can, go after her legally and at the very least, drag her ass into court. This really isn't a woman thing because I've done this shit before. I remember I used to share this rehearsal space to play drums and like an idiot, I came into some money and I paid ahead like three, four months just so I wouldn't have to deal with it because it was kind of a random bill where it wasn't, I didn't pay the actual rehearsal space. I was paying this other guy. I gave this guy like 500 bucks for, I don't know how many months. Of course, all of a sudden like a month and a half later, the rehearsal space, we lose the rehearsal space. And this guy who at any moment when I owed him money and I was like, hey, where are you? He would immediately return my text. He just completely disappeared off the face of the fucking earth and never gave me my money back. And like the amount of fucking people who will do that to you, and it really has nothing to do with male or female, it's just people, they're fucking dirtbags. They're fucking dirtbags. Which brings me back to the fucking oil companies. If someone would do this shit over this amount of fucking money, I just, I don't know. I know I sound like, I just really wish I could explain half of my points intelligently because I really think that I'm right. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever said. All right. That's the podcast for this week. Congratulations to the Boston Bruins. I can't believe we won the Stanley Cup and at some point, I got to get my ass to Boston. I got to see it. I've never seen it. Never been up close to it. I got to the hockey hall of fame. I guess it's there for a period of time and I've never seen it. And I'm actually blown away and like I said, my condolences to the Vancouver Canucks fans. That was an unbelievable kick in the fucking hockey balls to have to go through that. But obviously, you shouldn't have burned down your city and I know most of the people up there didn't do it and I know 90% of the people don't condone that type of behavior. But I would like to know people of Vancouver, people in Montreal, you stuck up snob. Why do you guys burn down your fucking cities over sporting events? What are you really upset about? That's what I want to know because I want to forward it to Michael Moore. So the next time he tries to make you guys out like it's like the Truman show up there, he can maybe have a little more information and stop making movies that are as ridiculously to the left as Fox News is to the right. Okay. That's it. Go fuck yourselves. I will talk to you next week. Dude, I didn't know what the fuck am I going to watch in sports? This is the worst time of year for me as a sports fan. The excitement of the NBA finals and the NHL Stanley Cup finals brings you to an absolute height and then boom, it's over. I was talking to Paul Versey. We were laughing about that shit. You go from this unbelievable. Did you fucking see Dwayne Wade? You see Dirk Nowitzki? Did you fucking see this? Did you see that? Did you fucking game seven? Did you lose in your mind texting and then all of a sudden it comes to a rough halt and it's a ball one. I'll tell you this kid just came up from Hershey is a hell of a prospect. He's one of the best second baseman that the Milwaukee Brewers have had and quite some time. Oh, foul back one at one, it's, it's hat day coming up this Thursday and now they might not even have it a football season. Here's my prediction. If they don't have an NFL football season, college football is going to, it's going to, I think it could finally blow up in cities like Boston, which is not a, it's not a college football town. Well, I mean, we'll get into BC every once in a while, but we're just not into it because we have all these professional teams that are winning all the fucking championships. Sorry, I got to gloat a little bit. But I think I've been, I've quite a fucking gentleman, you know, Jesus Christ, a couple of things. Do you realize if fucking, if our defensive back guessed the, the right way could have knocked down that pass. That could have been another Super Bowl, you know, if, if those NBA refs a couple of years back didn't decide to call 9,000 fouls on the Celtics and two on the Lakers that we might even had another fucking NBA championship. We might have fucking won nine, but I'll take my seven, go Cleveland. Let's go Padres. Let's go Brewers. I'm fucking rooting for all of you. I'm done as I, I am, I am fucking retired. I, I, for at least 15 years, not 15, full like 10. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm stepping back for 10. I don't even give a fuck. You know, something I think at this point, I'm so fucking happy. Even the Jets winning a Super Bowl wouldn't bug me. All right. Let's not go that far. All right, guys. I'll talk to you. I'll talk to you next week. [ Silence ]