Monday Morning Podcast
Monday Morning Podcast 5-30-11
Posted in PodcastPlay AudioBill rambles about Memorial Day, M&M's, Keith Moon, and the Vancouver Canucks
But you're just sleeping off a hangover, 'cause you are a fuckin' selfish cunt. You wave hello to the troops at the airport, but when they give 'em a day and you're supposed to be out there, you're layin' in, you fuckin' bed, you douche. Hey, what's goin' on? I'm in my bed, too. I notice you have braces. I have braces, too. What's that line from, "Hi, everybody?" The "B" for some butt-head movie. Oh boy, oh boy, who took Tylenol PM last night? I did. I roof-eat myself, everybody. You ever just really, really, really fuckin' tired? Fuckin' tired, Joe, Joe, and I slap like a fuckin' stone kid. I was really tired last night. I was nodding off. I was on my couch, and what the fuck was I doing? I was dealing with my dog who's afraid of the wind. He's like the wind. Am I gonna sing this whole fuckin' podcast? My dog does not like wind. It freaks the fuckin' thing out, and it eats its way out of its cage. I call it the cage. The dog trainer calls it the casa, which is Spanish for the cage. No, it isn't. I took two years of espanol, CVU play, and casa means house. So what he's suggesting is it's not a cage. Cage implies that it's something negative, and you don't wanna have a shut up, you useless cunt. All right, go trim your fuckin' beaver and stay out of my head, all right? It's a fuckin' cage. The dog is in a queue, breaks out of a house, you know? You break into a house. Oh my god, it's so awesome, I have to get in there and see what kind of stuff they have. You break into a house, but when you break out of a structure, that's not a home, okay? When you don't give a fuck that your gums are bleeding and you're scraping the chest hair off of your torso so you can squeeze through a fuckin' porthole that your fat-ass body can't fit through, that's not a house, that's not a casa, that's not le meso, or whatever the fuck it is in French. I can't think of it, didn't it mean with a CH? What is French for house? Chappo was a fuckin' hatch, la chamees was a shirt, mocha mie, a jeon. No ma'am mazelle, I'll go fuck yourself, I flunked, you know something, I actually took French one past that, but it was too dumb to go on to French too, so they actually had French 2A, the triple A of fuckin' French part du, and I flunked so bad, I flunked that class so badly, my dad made me go back to French one to get the basics, and I then went back and flunked that. Ah, Jesus Christ, still a little sick here people. If you wonder why I'm a comedian, that little story I just gave you right there, then I'll let you know right there, then I'll let you know, you know, the fact that I could go back in time and do worse than I did the first time, you know? Do you guys ever see back to the future when Marty McFly goes back, you know, and he just starts writing all the wrongs, and when he comes back to the future he's got a Toyota 4Runner, right, and everything worked out and he got the girl of his dreams. I did that in real life. I went back in time, I went back to French one, and I actually ended up doing worse. So because of that, I never liked that trilogy. Everyone else was just going along for the ride, and I was sitting there going to do this fucking bullshit, all right, he'd go back in time, and he would do even fucking worse. All right, let's move on here. This is the Monday Morning podcast, everybody. For those of you who enjoy the sound of my voice and feel like you can't get enough of it, just in case you missed it last week, I actually was on the Adam Corolla podcast. The most downloaded podcast in the history of podcasting, they even had the T-shirts. Some sort of Guinness Book of World Records that they set for a number of downloads. I was on last week's episode, and I had a great fucking time, which was recorded live at John Lovitz's comedy club at Universal fucking strip mall, whatever the fuck you call that thing. It's this big thing out here called Universal. I think they used to make movies, and at some point they just made a left turn, and they were like, "Let's just stick like 12 shitty restaurants next to each other in a big IMAX theater, and then we'll have some stupid rides." And I got a feeling that a bunch of fat fucks and Hawaiian shirts will show up. What do you guys think? And they all went, "Yeah, let's fucking do it." You know what? They were right. A bunch of fatties walking around with their swollen feet. You have a look down at fat people's feet, you have a look at that shit. You know, they're already fat because they ate a whole bag of fucking M&Ms on the way over there. One of those giant fucking bags, you know, the kind of bag. It's so fucking big that if you were making a brick wall, if one of the bricks was just the bag of M&Ms, it wouldn't compromise the structure. You can just concrete right over the fucking thing. What's with the yellow brick? That's a big bag of M&Ms, sweetheart. My fat fucking uncle showed up with that, and he dropped it on the ground, and he couldn't pick it up, and we just sat there laughing at him. And he said, "Come on, hold me picking it up," and we just sat there laughing at him. You pick it up, you fat fuck, come on, earn it. Earn it, Tommy! Hey, look at Uncle Fanny trying to pick up his bag of M&Ms. Well, see, the problem was, there was a bit of a, probably a 15% grade in my front yard, so the fat fuck bends down, and he rolled. He fell backwards on his big toddler ass, and I whacked his head off the curb. And I went to jail for eight months on a manslaughter charge, and I also have to, part of my community service is I have to talk about the dangers of bullying. But in a tribute to him, we took that big bag of M&Ms, and we put it right in the wall there. God rest his soul. What the fuck am I talking about? The Monday Morning podcast has a donation button, everybody. Do you have a dollar? You got 20 bucks just burning a hole in your pocket? What are you going to do with that money, huh? Are you going to spend it on that fucking unappreciative cunt sitting across from me right now? Who can't hear what you're listening to? Huh? You can listen to it on your iPod, and she's sitting right across from her. Look at her. Look at that stupid fucking side of her face. Yeah, you married that. You're legally bound to that. What are you going to do? Spend another 20 bucks on her, getting her some sort of fucking, I don't know, appetizer at Applebee's? Is that what you're going to do? Is that what you're laughing right now, aren't you? This is worth the 20. She isn't. She's not going to give a fuck. What's she doing right now? Looking around the room? You know, looking for a fucking a different dick with a bigger dollar side on it? You know, you wouldn't know that this was a holiday, with the amount of meanness that I'm spewing here. I'm a little frustrated. I'm still trying to get over this fucking cold that I've had all goddamn week. And I'm also frustrated because I've been going on stage going off in support of Lance Armstrong. And I'm really beginning to realize how few people give a shit about bicycle racing. You know, I actually got to be honest with you, I actually put that out there and somebody connected with the tour sent me an email and said he thought that the shit I said last week was fucking hilarious when I was trashing that fucking cunt. That piece of shit, Tyler Hamilton. Tyler Hamilton, do you guys understand, first of all, those of you who are actually keeping up on the Lance Armstrong story, all four of you, do you understand that he's not going to get caught? The guy took fucking 500 goddamn tests. He passed them all. So now all they can do is just get people to say that they saw him do it. That's not going to hold up in court. And not to mention the people coming forward are fucking known cheats. You know, Tyler Hamilton, this fucking cunt, this is his background. The balls of this guy, American cyclist Tyler Hamilton announces retirement Friday. This is an article October 8, I'm sorry, April 18, 2009. Oh, I did research this week. Okay, he announces retirement Friday. Why? Because he accomplished everything he could accomplish in that wonderful sport. No, he retired Friday after testing positive for the steroid DHEA, which he said he knowingly ingested in an over the counter herbal anti-depressant. All right, here's a guy's on anti-depressants and he's taken steroids. This is the guy that's going to bring you down a known fucking cheat. He was just, it was the second doping offense for the veteran rider who tested positive for, I don't want to offend gay people here. He tested positive for Homo logo is a blood transfusion. He got a big bag of semen, evidently shot into his fucking veins to add to the testosterone. Jesus Christ. How the fuck did he win that year? Homo globe globalist blood transfusion, 2004, and served a mandatory two year suspension even as he disputed the test results through two rounds of arbitration. These are the kinds of people who are coming up. All right, this guy's life's over. He wrote a bicycle until he was 30. You know, do you realize how big a hole that is in your resume when you try to get back into the real world and try and get a desk job? Gee, you know, it's weird. Do you have any sort of job experience? I wrote a bicycle from age eight to 30. Yeah, and then I got fired. I got fired from riding a bicycle and now I would like a management position. Hey, Tyler, why don't you go fuck yourself? So then what does he do? Oh, Jesus, what do I do? Do I write a book? I don't want to write a book that's work. What else should I do? What if I just go in 60 minutes and I read out Lance Armstrong? You piece of shit douchebag of the fucking month. This fucking guy, Tyler Hamilton, you just can't believe that shit. Okay. First of all, people, I'm going to tell you this right now. You can't write a bicycle. I sent it last week. I sent it right a bicycle 30 miles, a fucking hour up a goddamn mountain, all right? For a month. You can't do that without being on drugs, all right? So get your fucking heads out of Santa Claus's ass. They're all on drugs. Okay, they're on drugs. Yes, all of them. So what are you going to do? You're going to take it away from Lance and give it to the other drugged up guys? This is fucking stupid. This is the 2004 Red Sox versus the 2004 Yankees. Royed it up guys beat your roided up guys. He wants seven in a row seven He wants seven in a row Case closed on to the next one. I don't want to talk about it anymore Voices in my head stop bringing it up. God damn it. I gotta blow my nose. Hang on a second. I gotta hit pause All right, I'm back Jesus Christ I swear to God if this fucking cold lasts one more damn day I'm shaving the mustache right out of my beard. I'm gonna look like fucking Abe Lincoln Nothing worse than blowing your nose when you got a mustache. It's like a four-hour process All right, so anyways back to the damn podcast speaking of sports How about those Boston Bruins, huh? All you fucking hate us? Where's your team Huh are there out there a little fucking charity golf game Raising money for cancer. That's what they're doing There's only two teams left people the Boston Bruins and the Vancouver Canucks The only professional sports team that throughout its history has dressed worse than Sinbad The ugliest fucking uniforms ladies and gentlemen known to fucking man Known to all of sports for a good 20 fucking years Horrific apps they came out of the gate with one of the great uniforms of all fucking time and Then what happened what happened in the 80s they decided we need to switch it up a little bit See the problem is is not only are they in Canada. They're way on the west coast Way out they don't even know what the fuck's going on. They don't know what styles are in So in the fucking Early 80s they switched their goddamn uniform something like that You know what it was was disco finally made it to Vancouver by 1982 And when everybody else was listening to the talking heads, right? The last couple of police albums they were still up there do a little dance Make a real rub and then they came up with the ugliest fucking goddamn uniform. I've ever seen in my life and The away jerseys were bad enough, but the home ones. I'm telling you were the ugly There's a picture of Cam Neely I'm gonna have it up on the the mm podcast calm the official fan page of the Monday money podcast of him in that uniform And I swear to God when you see him in that uniform. You would actually consider dropping the gloves with the guy That's how bad these fucking uniforms are so these douche bags And they're little fucking mining town Way on the west coast to Canada way out there, you know, they live on the other side of the fucking Rockies Okay, way the fuck out there All right, like if you were in Seattle and decided that you were gonna drive to Alaska There'd only be one little shit ass fucking town on the way there and that town is called Vancouver Anyone's funny about those cuts. They actually think that they're cosmopolitan up there They got a bit of an attitude people they think that they have this fucking. Oh, let's do some ecstasy We got a couple of nightclubs up here. All right, so what are these dumb cuts do after they? For fucking years where the ugliest fucking hunk of shit uniform. I've ever seen in my life I'm ever being in sixth grade when I saw that uniform going that is fucking horrific You know I'm in sixth grade people. I just stopped coloring. I should have loved that uniform That's what it looks like looks like when a five year old then when you did that when you were five You grabbed every crayon in the box and you just started writing letters You know because you thought that would make the fucking girl look at you You know because you knew you wanted to do something to but you didn't quite know what because there was no internet So you didn't know what fucking was yet because you were allowed to have a childhood you know That's what those fucking uniforms look like and you know what's amazing is these motherfuckers they finally admit That they made a fashion era and they go back to the original good idea that they had and then what do they do? They fuck it up They fucked it up. They went back to the blue and white with a little bit of green Then they got to see on that thing and then they got this fucking Killer whale coming out of the top of the sea looking like a fucking whale centaur terrific They just you know what it is. They just couldn't 100% admit that they made a fucking mistake And you just went back to the original which is what the fuck they should have done just like the Jets It's dumb as those green cuts are they realize that those uniforms they wore with Richard Todd and Freeman McNeil. We're a fucking mistake terrible mistake Bill Parcels came in right with his big fucking bunt Pushing out his dockers and he says listen. We're going back to the original and they were like, whoa Because we want to win Everybody out there is gonna go out there dressed like Joe Willie. You got a fucking problem with that Wesley Walker doesn't have a ring rest my case Actually, I think he wore it early on. I shouldn't have picked him Whatever Marty Lyons never got a ring Even though he looked like Merlin Olsen Fuck hang on a second. Jeez All right, I'm back. Where was I? Oh, that's right trashing the Vancouver Canucks In that little mining town way out there in the West Coast in British Columbia Yeah, so they couldn't admit that they made a fucking mistake. So now they got this whale coming out of the letter C I fucking hate it. I Went up there. I went to a game up there and I wanted to get a fucking Jersey And I just couldn't get myself to do you know, I was like all right. I'm living on the West Coast now I need a West Coast team. I like the Canucks I liked that they went back to that uniform and then I looked at it closely and I saw that stupid whale coming out of there Looking like when that fucking alien thing comes out of that dude's stomach in that movie. I can't remember You know that thing that comes out of the fucking alien, you know Remember the alien in that movie alien right that I say alien enough times in that sentence When it opens its mouth and then for some reason rather than using its big mouth It's used its its little mouth that nibble thing That's what it had. They have the whale version of that coming out of the letter C. They just you know, I Don't fucking know Then they got this the fucking twins there You know Who has brothers on the same fucking team isn't there a rule against that I? Know you can't have all a bunch of brothers on the same battleship because of that time in World War two when the boat got sunk And then some poor mom and dad they lost five kids at the same fucking time Isn't it the same rule with sports? Why do you got two blood relatives on the same goddamn team? Why is it like a mom and pop fucking Hardware store or something the motherfuckers. I'm just trying to work up some hatred I really don't have any hatred for Vancouver. I really don't even know shit about your city You know why cuz you never in the news Except once every fucking goddamn millennium you host an olympics You know why why cuz you got snow? It's not cuz you got a good fucking city Hey Cleo knock it off Goddamn dog might I have a pit bull that's afraid of the wind She's like the wind what is that song about she's like the wind is that about love lost? Do you know I was watching one of these goddamn these channels that shows you know It's more Memorial Day weekend so they're giving all their talking heads the fucking weekend off So they're just showing a bunch of rock concerts and I saw though I hear here's here's my underrated for underrated overrated for the week underrated the who? live concert video at the Isle of White Best Keith Moon footage you're ever gonna fucking see I've never been that into Keith Moon. I like Though I love the who I love their recorded music, but I've never seen good footage It's oh, he's always on TV like pretending to drum You know or like magic bus or something like that and he has a weird way of holding the sticks So just because of that they never seemed like there was a lot of power Then there was that one where he blew his drum kit up and Pete Townsend heard his ear and I always find that was something I always fucking hated I Hated how they destroyed their instruments If I didn't fucking ice, you know, just watching you know watching Pete smashing a guitar whenever I watched it I was like to just give it to me Give it to somebody in the crowd. Why would you do that? There's a bunch of wannabe rock stars in the crowd that would kill for that guitar, but ah Peter you put that guitar down young man It's a man of people teased you about your big fucking nose Your rock star now knock it off Then they'd be blows up that drum kit. It just it makes you sick Makes you fucking sick me anyways. So anyway, so I never saw any good footage to that guy I already knew he was a beast that guy That guy fucking without a doubt Without a doubt one of the most original drummers of all time dare I say the most original rock drummer ever I love fucking John Bonham and he laid down the blueprint But when I hear Bonham play I Mean he granted he put it put he put it 20 years into the future But still I kind of could see some sort of Like I look at Keith moon. I don't see any link to what the fuck he ever did you watch Tito Puente? It's like he was like a percussionist He should have been standing up with some timbales the way the guy was playing. It's just it's fucking mind-blowing Absolutely mind-blowing he's spinning the sticks and he's doing this thing where he Slaves it on the snare and it goes flying up in the air. I'm like, that's what Tommy Lee got that shit So That's my underrated for the week somebody actually has an overrated What the fuck is it here? Let me let me let me let me over rate it the state of Florida's sports fans Miami Heat ban wagners Florida Marlins Orlando fans Jacksonville Jags are rumored to be moving at the beginning of Two years ago Florida Panthers suck, etc, etc Dude that is the most lazy overrated You start it off where you're actually making some points, and then you just threw out a bunch of topics He's just putting it on my shoulders. I got to bring it home That's what you did you just started a project like some broad and then you're like can you just can you come in here? Honey What I thought you said you were cleaning the kitchen Now you fucking move it That's what you just did to me in that overrated there I Gotta go off of that. Let me tell you something. I hate to tell you this every sports franchise Everybody's bandwagon All right, go look at footage of when your team sucked You know you think I was watching the Bruins after fucking Ray Bork left And we sucked a big bag of dicks for like three years To be honest with you I had a lot to do with that clutch and grab fucking awful shit Just a terrible period for hockey You know no wonder Tampa won a fucking goddamn I mean that that's that's why they had the strike They were like how fucking bad is our league that the Tampa Bay Lightning just won a Stanley Cup? Did you see that Stanley Cup parade there was like eight people there? You know they thought it was a fucking spit-tune Yeah, so I would say everybody you know that that you know you got bandwagon fit Yankee fans of bandwagon fans if you watch highlights of them in the 80s or When Roger Maris broke Babe Ruth's fucking home run record I mean you could have fucking walked up to the gate and bought a stack of fucking 20 tickets all next to each other Out in a goddamn outfield you know Fucking there was nobody at Bruins games nobody itself the games when we suck then we get the big three and then all of a sudden everybody's there Everybody's got bandwagon fans And I also think Jacksonville is moving out because it's Jacksonville You know what I got one radio station out there. No one gives a fuck about them. I Don't know. I don't think the state of Florida has bad sports fans They got fucking unbelievable college football the hurricanes the Seminoles Who else they got they got the Florida fucking Gators Maybe if they're fucking college sports weren't so great and they would actually show up to a program I don't know other than in Tampa Tampa just sucks man. They got the Buccaneers Right we've just sucked every year, but one Why am I still picking on them they're in the rear for your mirror congratulations What a fucking playoff series that was I'm just by the way I'm just breaking balls by the way for all you dumb cunts who actually take this seriously my bill per hates Tampa He doesn't like Vancouver No, my teams are playing you guys and my team is not as good as your team So what I do is I just trash your city and if you're dumb enough to take the fucking bait I get a nice debate going because if you want to argue facts All you had to do is a lightning fan is just say well We want to know for you fucking dumb cunt and then that would have been the end of it But you were too stupid to do it. You sat there defending houseboats for some Unknown reason so anyway, so Stanley Cup finals this year's this Boston Bruins vs Vancouver Canucks in case you haven't figured that out and We haven't won it since 1972 and the Vancouver Canucks have never won it So if you ever wanted to get into hockey this would be the series to watch Because the fans are going to be ridiculously excited because one group of fans have just have been waiting for 39 years And the other group have been waiting their entire hockey lives alright So predictions for the series. I'm doing exactly what I did the last time I'm picking the other team and maybe I'll jinx him. I think once again The other team has too much fire power With Henrik sending and whatever his fucking brother's name is Ryan Kessler and then they got Luongo Luongo you can rattle though You know Kessler's just a pretty boy now, you know, he took all his anger out of the game They start the fucking playoff series versus the San Jose Joe Thornton goes you want to fight and he didn't he didn't do anything. He just took the face off Skated away with his shredded J crew body, you know, it's like what are you doing? Do you play in hockey? You're trying to be an underwear model. I don't understand what you're doing Ryan Kessler. All right, so but he is an American So I do like that aspect of him Descendines are actually direct descendants of Nazi SS soldiers, you know, not not just some fucking regular guy worked in a fucking warehouse and then he got put in a guard tower I am just doing my job. I'm not I'm talking about people who executed that horrific final solution All right, so, you know, if you're rooting for the Canucks out there people you you're you're saying thumbs up to the Nazis I'm just I'm just putting that out there just blowing the lid off that one people No, I think it's gonna be a great fucking series. I got a feeling the Bruins are gonna win game one and Just scared the shit out of that little mining town up there. I Really I really got a feeling I got a feeling chara's gonna score a goal. You know Against all odds because he loves taking a fucking slapper When there's no one in front of the net from the fucking red line and he loves to shoot right at their pancreas too But I got a feeling it's gonna fucking get in between his goddamn elbow and the side and then Luongos gonna get rattled He's gonna get pulled in the second period Lou Cheech is gonna have a goal To shut up all you Boston cunts who are trashing him you dumb fucks shut your faces How many stars are we gonna run out of town because they have a bad couple of weeks? I Guarantee you at the end of the season Joe Cruz all vault or whatever the fuck his name is is gonna fuckin George the animal steel our fucking coach for the Bruins Claude Julian is gonna fucking say That Lou Cheech is has a lower body injury. That's what I'm guessing. All right He's just not gonna say it because there's piece of shits out there who would actually go after the injury But I that's so I don't know. I think we're gonna win. We gotta win the cup. Oh would that be glorious? That would be enough to knock me right out of my sobriety You know I went to a fucking party yesterday And I actually showed up with a rack of blue moon and handed it over and I watched other people drink it And I was just I really questioned my citizenship at that point like am I still a citizen of this country that I just fucking did that This is how bad I want to drink people I actually got no conversation about booze at this party and somebody brought up Fredericksburg, Texas, which is an hour and a half outside of Austin, Texas never dently. It's an all Germantown speaking of Nazis Okay, now I don't know if you guys realize this, but I'm actually mostly German. I've mentioned this before That's why I have a jawline and I don't have that 100% Irish potato face. Okay. I Don't look like I I fucking woke up Face down in a plate of fucking mashed potatoes Like a lot of my Irish brothers - Okay, I don't look like that. I don't look Like you know, I never knew my dad because he got so drunk and he fell face first into his shepherd's pie and Is that actually English? I don't fucking know. Um, anyways, let's plow ahead here. So there's this town called Fredericksburg Which is actually my middle name William Fredericksburg, Burr. I don't know if you guys ever knew that And it's this all Germantown and evidently when you drive into town, it's like one one fucking street Main street, right and this is where it was described to me at the party, you know, I barely was listening I was just staring at the bubbles and the guy's beer. That's how bad I want to drink now um, and the first half of it is a bunch of antiques for the ladies and The second half though is just a bunch of october fest type bars And I was thinking like god damn it. I want to go to that town And drink out of one of those big things we got to press it down with your thumb and have the little fucking crown open up What up the beer stein? That's how bad I want to drink now people so I want to ask people people People of the podcasting world who are listening to this thing What's what's the deal with Fredericksburg Texas? I want to know is it worth the trip. I'm in Austin What am I gonna go down to the atsy section again down there? I've done that a zillion times I want to drive up to Fredericksburg get absolutely shit faced and then drive home drunk back to Austin get pulled over by some fucking goddamn cop and a horse You understand what state you're in this Texas don't mess with Texas Then I'll act I know how to sweet talk my way out of that, right? I just unbuttoned a couple of buttons from my button down Show off a little bit of red chest there, and I just start complimenting his his sidearm Is that a six-shooter? Well, you know what it is. It is six-shooter. I Could put this on eBay and get over a hundred grand for it But I got it from my daddy who got it from his daddy's daddy Just drive away Did I mention we have a donation button on the mm podcast calm did I mention that I always forget to mention that so just donate whatever the fuck you can donate and I swear to God If you guys donate this week, I will I will donate five dollars towards the United Nations Fund for curing the common cold Do you know the common cold doesn't kill over seven million people every year? Do you realize that? But it makes over four billion people unbelievably uncomfortable and in some extreme cases even in the month of May so please give a dollar give seven Do whatever you want to fucking do. Oh by the way, I'm gonna be on the on a NHL live today and NHL live at 210 p.m. Pacific time they're gonna be calling me on my cell phone And they're gonna be a do what do you think about the playoffs, you know, and I'll be up there by the pros I gotta be thinking I can't wait. I cannot wait. Um, all right last week. I told you that I read that story about that that fucking douche Who brought in the ringer wasn't playing this guy's kid and then when he complained the parent complained, you know They kept a kid on the bench And then the next year His kids on another team and then he's playing against this douche coach and at the end of the game his kid didn't shake his hand And this fucking fag Went to the goddamn league and now is saying that this kid has to shake hands so the dads like what do I do? What do I do? So I was trying to think of a country way for this kid something he could do to this guy So this is a solution summer came up with said tell that kid to shake that coach's hand for an awkwardly long time I actually really like this idea holding on when the coach tries to pull his hand away and the whole time smiling Maybe throw a wink in there too. You know a passive aggressive. Fuck you Love the podcast bill. I think that's great I would actually clasp it with both hands like you just signed some sort of monumental peace treaty Like do you know it would be great? Have have it have the did his dad come down? Do you remember when when Jimmy Carter got? Was an Amor said dot and said begging guy to shake hands Sign a peace treaty between Egypt and Israel or something like that And they both shook hands and then Jimmy Carter made it like a handshake sandwich with using his hands as the buns Standing basically perpendicular to them. So I think that that's what should happen I think he should shake the guy's hand clasp it with both hands and then you hire a Jimmy Carter look alike to fucking sit there and you just smile and You don't let go until that guy finally pulls his hands free and you never stop smiling and you never stop looking in the guy's eye How's that I like that you guys like that solution? I do Does anybody else have any more stories about that that seems to be an overwhelming Not overwhelming. That's the wrong word. Jesus bill Jesus Christ the whole podcast was going great. And then what you do you pick the wrong fucking word? The fuck is wrong with you read the goddamn copy I haven't tell you guys. You guys always think that this this show is improvised. It isn't I actually write it out And I spent 15 thousand dollars on my own Professional grade camera and teleprompter right now. I'm reading all of this including this right now It's just scrolling right now. You know that whole I'm bad at reading out loud as it's all just an act Anyways, does anybody else have any stories about that that type of behavior? Rather than overwhelming. I know it's a reoccurring theme. That's what I was trying to say you know where somebody becomes a coach and You know, they're getting to live out this Vince Lombardi fantasy and then they start thinking well I sucked as an athlete or I wasn't good enough to make it to the pros And then when they start coaching just immediately that competitive thing kicks in again And they forget that they're coaching a bunch of fucking eight-year-olds and they start walking around like fucking my get-ka You know chew and gum like they just got done finishing a fucking eight ball of coke In case you thought I was talking about pool. I had to say of coke All right, I'm sorry people a little congested. Does anybody else have any stories of that I? Actually, I Had good coaches when I was growing up Except for my football coach. I remember used to kick me in my fucking legs I only played one year of football my parents didn't like it because I came home with all these bruises and they showed up at practice And they saw the coach kicking me in my legs I remember I used to move when you were doing leg lifts because that's what you want third graders to do leg lifts to make sure they get that 12 pack so we're doing these leg lifts and You know whenever your legs would come down He'd come over and he'd kick you in the side and give you like a Charlie horse So I used to move my thigh pads over The side this was the 70s people when you could kick kids Not only could you kick them you can kick them in front of their parents. It's fucking great Does anybody have any stories to just some some? Coaches just going totally over the top Here's a new sound for you guys see if you guys can guess what this sound is all right, and it's not me blowing my nose on the mic What was that what was that noise? You hear that that might sound like me wiping up my mustache I'm playing hockey tomorrow, and I wear a full fucking shield and I have a runny nose Do you ever understand what I'm gonna look like I'm gonna be looking like I'm fucking Almost at the summit of Mount Everest by the by my second shift There's not icicles in your mustache, what is going on? No, it's just not all right now that I got rid of the ladies on the podcast Speaking of ladies There's there's a little downtime between the Eastern and Western Conference finals and the finals in the Stanley Cup so I had four fucking days of oh my god How am I gonna fill up the time and I don't know what happened I put on ESPN and I've somehow got into the ladies softball fucking world series I Love it. I absolutely love it. I want to face one of those fucking pitchers You got you know a lot of guys out there they laugh at that shit Don't I fucking I fucking put it in the cheap sheets if I ever fucking the dead giant goddamn ball first of all They pitch the ball from like four feet away And it comes underhand Cuz you know they and they do it so fast. It looks like it's coming right out of their baby maker You know like some sort of fucking Nolan Ryan meets some Hori stripper You know and you know the ones that shoot the ping pongs out of their twats. This looks like the softball It's just coming at this weird fucking angle. I Would love to do it because their ballparks are really small To you so if you actually made contact they pitch it so fast It's going over the goddamn wall and then you get to run around you get to run around the bases But you don't get it You're not gonna get winded because I think it's like 45 feet to each base. It's ridiculous Basically if you there's no leading I think in women's softball Because once you take a lead you're basically a second base or all you have to do is just you know fall down And you're you're safe at second actually there is leading all right before some fucking Bulldog of a woman fucking starts giving me shit about it. I understand and Dude speaking of roids. Okay, if you're gonna tell me those women in ladies softball like this. It's just There's enough women built like that to fill up fucking like nine different teams. I'm not buying it Okay Those girls. I'm telling you right now would run me the fuck over Not a damn batteries ran out again and the memory was full I don't what the fuck happened Son of a bitch. All right. What the fuck was that? I'm talking about those goddamn softball ladies I'm telling you man those girls if they did the old pack of sweep Pitched it out to any one of them, but they fucking they could run over Ray Lewis but I'm telling you it's a great goddamn sport and You know what it only took a couple of seconds For you to listen to me, you know Go from what I was just talking about to what I'm talking about right now But in my world it was like five minutes and I can't remember what the fuck I was talking about So that's going away. Oh It's so frustrating. I was really enjoying what he was saying about those fucking goddamn bulldogs who play fucking softball They're actually not bulldogs. There's some from or a couple. They're kind of cute You know, I like some fucking thick thighs. I'll take you down, you know, even with that grease under your eyes Jesus all right By the way, we have a new video everybody we have new video up on the mm podcast calm remember Not last week, but the week before I was hyping the cage versus cons MMA event where they have cops fighting ex cons MMA style in the octagon at the LA sports arena Well the Monday morning podcast brand new man in the street Jason lawhead Jason lawhead who has his own sports podcast with Joe Bartnick and John Campanera Capanera is in the name of the podcast is called men are talking So anyways, he was out there. He covered the invent for us with Sam triply another hilarious comedian And they made a really great video if you want to see what it was like. It was look like it was a fucking great time Definitely the crowd was way more for the cons then was for the cops and A lot of tattoos were gotten a lot of weed was smoked and I think you guys ought to check it out It's a great video. It's on the mm podcast calm So after you're done hitting the donation button right on the right-hand side right underneath the Facebook fucking icons Check out that video also. I did I got another video. It's gonna be up later on this week. I did another one of my famous Internet tours of a city. I did a tour of New York City. That's gonna be up and I actually ran into somebody Not to get all Hollywood on you. I'm not gonna name a name But I was out in an Italian restaurant and as I was walking out there was somebody famous Sitting there who hosts a talk show and I and it wasn't Conan and It wasn't that guy from Scotland And I said hey, what's up to him and he mentioned that he saw my fucking watch the one that I did the tour of LA I got a big kick out of that. Go and look at the goddamn Internet Famous people are on the Internet - I didn't realize that I always thought like famous people they're on TV So they don't they don't watch it. They like read books or you know Go out and go buy like a fucking Ferrari or something It's always just blow my mind. But whatever we got we got this great video up there the cage versus cons and I'm gonna have one Tour of New York City my tour of New York City, which I did when I was just starting to catch this cold I was in a miserable fucking mood So might come off a little more angrier than usual, but it seems like a lot of you guys enjoy that shit So definitely check that out on AMM podcast calm the official podcast page of the Monday morning podcasts Alright, we have 45 minutes in people. You know what that means. That means I got 15 minutes to go. So It's got to be time for the advice section and if I was actually if I had some sort of Production quality on this we would have gone into some music right there. It's time for advice with your hose billy burr and I'm ripping off this melody from somebody else. All right, dear Bill I am 34 years old and have been married to Linda Ah, jeez. He named a name right out of the gate. Oh the lovely Nia comes walking in right as I'm about ready to do advice What are the odds of that? Why don't you go grab yourself a microphone? It's in the closet My closet. All right, and don't go snooping around in there. I got some fucking incriminating evidence in there God damn fucking broads can't ever keep their faces Out of your shit. Let me see if I can put this in here. Here we go. We're gonna get this going right here Anyways, well, I'm reading the first one without you I'm 34 years 34 years old and been married to Linda my wife for about five years We met on an online dating website. Isn't that amazing? They met online and they've already been married for five years How long has the internet been around? Isn't that fan? That's that's really phenomenal starting to feel old Jesus Christ, can you tell I hit pause again people fucking cunt? What am I doing here? All right here we go? Dear Bill, I'm 34 years old. I already said that shit. He's been online for fucking five goddamn years We met on an online dating website immediately felt a special bond we dated for three years, but I knew she was the one Wait a minute. Oh did I read this last week? Oh, yeah, I read this one last week. I'm on the wrong fucking page Jesus oh Yay, hang on a second. All right. Where the fuck are we all right? Advice dear bill I've got a few shitty things going on in my life right now that I need to vent about also I would like to hear your advice Okay, you guys don't need to have fucking intros like that Just ask me the advice because then I'll read them and sound like a shithead first things first I live in South Carolina, and I think you can guess that that pretty much blows I'm 22 years old and I just graduated from college with a degree in psychology My job outlook is pretty bleak right now, and I just got laid off from my shitty delivery job Jesus Christ, what the fuck is going on in this country this dude has a degree in psychology and he's delivering fucking Entoments cakes to supermarkets, and he gets laid off Because I must have applied for at least 30 jobs at this point and I've stopped applying for the ones that I'm under qualified for And I've started sorry And I'm still unemployed. I don't understand why the access of entry into the restaurant industry is so fucking high I can't even get a job Serving because they keep telling me we only hire people with two years of experience Well, it's the law. It's the laws of supply and demand You know if they we weren't in the middle of a recession you could walk in there with the coming out of prison Then they let you work the goddamn mesquite grill Yeah, I worked in a restaurant. There's a bunch of fucking drugs. It was such a good economy. It was like 1987 Wait a second that was right after black Monday, I don't know maybe it was a south I have no idea I worked at this place called the Sable Cafe and Carrie North Carolina way back in the day and We used to have this douche who used to he came in he was on work release He was in prison and they would let him out so he could wash dishes and work his way back Now watch this is he actually worked the fucking cooking line. He was above me Right. I was a bus boy slash grill chef slash dishwasher because the restaurant was slowly going on a business and it's As people gradually gradually quit they would fucking they would just give me their jobs and an extra 50 cents an hour And I was like whoa, I'm raking in the dough as I sucked at math I didn't realize that they would pay me 350 an hour and a grill guy five dollars an hour So they went from paying 850 an hour, but two guys to paying me four dollars an hour for fuck emma dumb Fucking moron so anyways, and that this douche used to come in and I remember one time I came walking in the back and I'm doing three fucking jobs We were slammed and I said I'm like I go we're out of glasses The fuck we're out of glasses then this guy and work release goes well. Why don't you wash some ah? A novel idea That's what he said like he was just fucking get Renaissance man really really there shawshank The fuck are you doing after work, huh fucking carving a god there? Hey watch all the steak knives Make sure country over here doesn't take them back with you fell in beard You're this stupid fucking almond brothers facial hair I fucking can't it still bugs me because I didn't say anything to him because I got intimidated even though I thought I could take the guy but I was like this guy's been in prison You know he's gonna beat me up and then rape me fuck it. I think I'll wash some glasses So anyways He goes if I can struggle through four years of school that I think I can get the hang of slinging tater skins and onion rings In a few weeks. What is what is there to learn? Oh, he's guys trying to get a cooking job Well, dude, we're a serving job Well, I thought he meant like being a waiter, but now it sounds like he's talking about actually cooking Yeah, dude, you can't learn on the job at a restaurant. No, you always was that under done. I'm sorry They're not coming really oh, he's nobody's talking about cooking He's not cuz I thought he said he was having a hard time getting a job as a server because that you can learn in like two seconds No, that's what that's what he said But now all of a sudden he's talking about slinging tater skins and onion rings. I think he just means serving it Slinging doesn't slinging mean yeah, but it wasn't didn't he say earlier that he was trying to get a job as a three minutes You're already disagreeing with me What is it a learning let me get back to this What is there to learn in the second year of restaurant experience that you can't get in the first year even the first six months? This I agree with how in the hell am I supposed to get a job? I'm also being cut out from financial support of my family who helped put me through school If I can't start paying bills that I'm gonna have to move back in with my parents in a shitty small town That is about an hour away from the city. I live in job out look there is even worse And I would hate to move away from my friends and girlfriend me and my girl don't live together But she's offered a lot of needed support and most importantly. She supports me pursuing comedy It's my dream to become a comedian and I can only go so far while I live in South Carolina No, it isn't that he can only go so far living in South Carolina The fuck you become in the next goddamn cable guy Dude, there's people this I guarantee you in South Carolina There's a guy there who's the king of South Carolina and we've never heard of him every state I've been to yeah, and they fucking make six figures a year I'm not I understand what he's saying obviously doesn't want to be the king of South Carolina What's gonna movies and TVs coming nationally headlining act? I understand what you're saying But I'm just saying you can make fucking money there. There is money to be made With those drug fucking idiots there all you got to do just do a Ric Flair impression. That'll be a closing bit. You'll be fine I would he lives out there I would like to move to New York City But won't be able to do that if I'm not able to save up money And I definitely won't be able to do that anytime soon because I am awaiting a trial for a DUI I got back in January keeps getting like Unravel more and more every sentence becomes there's something else. That's why country songs are so sad these people live it Living in South Carolina I love my girls vagina and I can't get a job washing dishes Did you just rhyme Carolina? I got a new wife And I don't know why cuz the cop was even drunker than me And the song should be called I know I'm not Ric Flair cuz I know I ain't Ric Flair And I know I don't bleach my hair, but I got a dream and would you help me? Get your hand off your gun. I'm starting to get scared That right with hair. All right. Go fuck yourselves. Um, anyways the trial is this September And if I lose my license, I will only be set further back from my goals. Yeah, you think I'm trying to Not to mention I'm growing weed in my apartment. It's a one-bedroom with bay windows And I think my neighbors are starting to catch on. I am trying to hone my skills here. No. Oh Jesus Somebody went out late last night. I'm trying to hone my skills here, but I can't afford To keep driving to open mics that are at at least an hour away across the state, North Carolina By the way, I've stopped drinking irresponsibly, and I'm sorry that this email ran a little long Respectfully so it's so gotta love how the politeness of the south Yeah, praise one of those plantation Kentucky fried chicken ties on holding on to his lapels That's how they get you with the politeness get you with the politeness and then they do that's the that's the you know As someone who grew up in the south. I know yeah, that's you know what that's called It's masking so so much. Yeah, you know what that is. That's called the old It's called the old stonewall Jackson The old stonewall Jackson you come in. Hey, I surely would like to help you don't you look pretty today? I ain't trying to be disrespectful Right, and then you fucking turn the corner. Let me tell you something about that boy That boy fuck mud if you thought a rock was under it Fucking snake. Oh, what's going on with the thing here that boy fuck a rock if thought a snake was under it so What is what is he asking advice? He's asking me how the fuck he gets out of all this bad shit All right, you live in South Carolina. Let's let's recap. Shall we? Yeah Lives in South Carolina can't get a job slinging fucking tater tots to fucking fatties We're wearing overalls and somehow the crack of the rest is still hanging out of it He got a DUI. He's gonna have to move back home with his parents an hour away where the job shit is even worse Then it is where he is right now, and he got Jesus Christ, and he wants to live his dream I mean, I only see one solution here other than hitting lottery. You got to start dealing weed. I Mean, yeah, right Can't he grow some tobacco? Yeah, it just starts just starts selling whacky. It's a back Anyway, there's something going on with this fucking to sound here Jesus Christ see people this is why I needed to hit the donation button we here at Billboard PBS here I think I need a new mixer for some new wires didn't you say something about being a psychology major or something? Aren't you supposed to do some sort of internship at a place after you do school? He doesn't know you get entry into a job. He doesn't want to do that this guy wants to be a comedian So what do you want to be a yeah, so so what he needs he needs some sort of hustle? To get him out of this shit. All right, dude This all this will make you feel better guess what happened to me right before I became a stand-up comedian I lost my license for drinking and driving and I Didn't get started the batteries going low in this thing hello Hello, there we go. Oh the thing got unplugged That's not a badass when it starts to come out. Hello. Take me to Sorry All right, here we go. I'm back. What did I just hit a fucking button here? No, there's other things lit up, which was never lit up before oh You fucking whore. All right, let's let's wrap this thing up. This is what you got to do dude. You got to You got to get through your DUI And I don't know what to tell you man, you got to somehow try and find a fucking job Fuck I lived at home with my parents I had a day job and then I and I did comedy at night and I saved every fucking dime I drove a piece of shit car and when it died rather than get a new one I I just had him throw a new engine in my old one So I only went like 1500 in debt rather than 15 grand. That's what I did. So Listen if you want to be a fucking comedian, you want it bad enough. You're gonna figure out how to do it You're in a hell of a situation there. You got to get a fucking job Dude, I would open Take any fucking job you can take Landscaping anything you can do Get through this fucking DUI horseshit and Despite the fact that you work all day. You still got to go out and you still have to do those open mics you got to do it and It's hard as it's gonna be It's gonna it's gonna make you tough and that's what you got to be to make it in the world You got to be tough. You got to get up But you know what you've been knocked on your ass you flat on the back flat on your back and you got to get up All right, the refs over you right now six Seven most people just lay there I'm gonna go fucking lay between my mom's titties and just say I quit in life. You're not gonna do that Are you you gonna pick yourself up? You should have seen the looks you just gave me I'm trying to inspire him this kid is in a fucking hole Yeah, but he can get out of it. He's got to suck it up. How would you get out of it? How would you get out of it? I would do like you said I'd have to take any job that I could get but I'm a subtext So maybe I could get no, I was thinking babysitting you pervert. You'd whore yourself out. No, I wouldn't Why why why why my name is near boo boo boo boo? I got some high heels do do do do who wants to fucking hit this? I'm gonna be a comedian. You wouldn't sell your ass if you had to sell your ass Can you stop saying sell your ass if you had to do it Thank you If you hadn't need to become a lady of the evening a The evening if I had to do it I wouldn't go out on the street. That's for sure. How would you do it? I would set up all like a website or something. I'd be one of those high-class broads. Oh, yeah I'd meet you in like the lobby of a hotel. I'd be make it classy. You know a classy. Well, what would be the theme song on your website? Dude Okay, I don't know that song but I would I would be interested in that unless if you had but if you had that song and you were wearing a veil That would freak me out. Why would I wear a veil just that's what that song just made me think of what? You just have this veil and you're doing this really bad dance and it just cancels out your hotness Um Guys if I had that you ever girl just do something so weird it cancels out like how good looking she is Maybe a laugh like puke cuz she's so drunk. I was thinking more like hammer toes coming out of some fucking, you know Para sexy shoes when are you gonna get the shoes with the red soul on it? So you can make all those other horse jealous when you buy me a pair bitch Your birthday is coming up. Yes, it is and I can tell you right now What I don't know what you're getting but I can tell you what you're not getting What do you mean? You don't know what I'm getting overpriced horseshoes. Yeah, you know I do it last second You've seen the birthday cards. I give you The one I gave you last year that had to do we had to do with golf and I just sort of scribbled it out They were out of birthday cards No, I told you the shoes that I wanted to get and the purse so you had all that Oh, that's gay They didn't have the purse. I went to the place. They didn't have the first you probably didn't ask for it, right? What do you mean I'd ask for it, right? Purse can I have are you lying am I lying about what did you actually get it and you're gonna surprise me? No, you know what the reality is. No, I never went there What I didn't go I was sick. What is wrong with you? No, you weren't Yes, I was I'm still sick. I've been coughing and blowing my nose in the head That's well, you know what I can tell you where to go in LA to get it We're getting we're getting a topic here. Yeah, you know why cuz you're exposing the spoiled little brat that you are This is fault is that mine? Cuz I went out and I would buy you stuff that you wanted thinking that that would shut you up Why you got it cuz you love me Yeah, and what do you know I love most about you is you That's what I like best about you when you're not running you yet And you just fucking rub in my head as I watch sports. That's what I like That's all I need out of you needy all those stupid shows where they go fucking way to a man's heart is through his stomach No, it isn't shut you trap Rub my head as I'm watching the game in order of pizza right then and then at the end of the night when I cook The end of the night a little sexual Cooking for you, you love that yeah, I do love that didn't you tell me when I wasn't here for a couple days You felt like at a loss cuz you're so dependent on me We're walking around the apartment like I did was pathetic, you know, you know what I felt like the male step-ford wife I was just like how do you know how to pay bills? No, I know how to pay bills you take that back lady. I take it back. I'm just fucking with you No, I don't know. I don't know how to I use not a cook. It's a cook shit I there was there was food and I would cook it and I would make it it tastes delicious But I'm back in the day. I made lasagna was great. Yeah Make the salmon - and that I used to make that I had I had the beef stew Right with a big piece of bay with this I had to set it and forget it to make rotisserie style chicken set it and forget it. Yeah underrated Underrated that thing. I don't know. I think I threw that thing out that why because with those big weird rubber gloves Handle the chicken Those things were it like the fucking sex offender They came with these these big rubber gloves that they didn't move that was a thing They were like they were like formed to some murderers hands And you just had to slip your hands into them because they were so worried about getting you getting burned They didn't want to get sued they went all the way up to your elbows like Jackie Kennedy But they were these big fucking Herman Munster gloves. Oh and they went they were this off white. Yeah They look worse color. They look filthy before we even got him, but getting back to the Senate Forget it. That's right studio audience. Yo, that thing was the shit that thing I made a pretty good chicken made a great chicken Yeah, they had it down and it came out was golden brown and he had fucking lunch meat for the fucking week Right, the only thing that sucked was on top of the way they claimed the heat would somehow steam the vegetables that shit didn't work So I took out my walk and that was it. Hey, by the way, how sweet is that guitar? I bought it's beautiful I thought I thought the best goddamn guitar I and that's all I've been doing for like, you know, I had that brutal couple weeks right now. Yeah I was on fucking six flights in 15 days. I caught a code. Yeah, I caught a code I did those two episodes of glee. Yeah, right and the one episode sorry shot on two days and then I was did DC and I did New York in the middle of that so every once in a while I will actually go out and I'll spend a little money on myself and I bought a Gibson SG that is white left-handed white with the black pickup not black pick up the black pick guard and This thing sounds so fucking good Even even I some good on it was playing that arrowsmith this week, huh seasons of weather I remember you came in and all of a sudden, you know, you were hypnotized by it. You don't remember that moment. Uh, yeah, no, whatever But having a good time. I've been having a good time with it. So uh, anyways, that is it. That's the podcast for this week. I got who um I want to thank Jason Lawhead and Sam Tripoli. Yeah, you got to see that video. You got a lawhead. Oh my god. It's hilarious Jason Lawhead is an incredible person. Yeah, and he has an incredible podcast with Joe Barton called uh men are talking The two of them have a podcast. Yeah. Oh my god. All right. I have to yeah, these are the two guys That if you know if you want if you're gonna go out drinking Or if you just want to fucking hang out with these guys that they they are throwbacks Old-school guy guys guys. These are the guys when I go to the rose bowl every year. Mm-hmm. These are the guys your partners and crime Partners and crime. These are the guys I stumble into the rose bowl with with Cuban cigars and then people scream at us And we have a great fucking time Um, yeah, so that's that's up on the mm podcast.com. If you want to donate we really appreciate it And uh, we're gonna be doing some more video. Definitely. Um and starting to add those you can only see that exclusively on the mm podcast.com Um, I think i've said that enough, uh, okay, so upcoming dates Upcoming dates for mr. Burr away the fuck fish a website. Okay bill bird.com. I'm gonna be at the chicago theater Um on june 15th doing one of those anti-social network tours with the wonderful jim nor norton The fabulous jim broor and the always adorable dave atel adorable dave atel Yes These guys are all the kind yeah David tell is a sweetheart of a guy. I realized that we went when we went and we visited those troops at the uh the pentagon the wounded warriors who visited these soldiers You know We didn't know what to say and whatever dude dave was in his fucking element He really he fucking lit up And was going to I just followed his lead and it was awesome man. Like he yeah, that's so good you guys are that oh and it's memorial Day to speak. Yeah, and it's memorial day. Yeah, and where what are we doing sitting here sweatpants in them on our bed You know should we go into a parade or something? Um, all right and on june 29th. I'm doing the uh, this is a very special one here This is the great geraldo benefit at the wiltern theater. Uh, all proceeds go to his wife and kids and uh, you know, definitely people come out to that one. Yeah, that's that's a huge one Um, definitely if you're gonna if you're gonna do anything even if you're in chicago drive out the fucking la for that one That's right. And uh what else real quick. I have the par- these are more anti-social Network dates on july 1st. I'm at the paramont theater in seattle, washington just south of that adorable mining town vancouver um And then on the third i'm going to be in vaguess. Oh, that's the pearl theater poms resort casino And guess who's not going no i'm coming though. You're not for the july is the next day I'm coming out I want the world to know You go fuck yourself You're staying home You only support me he when I go to good cities Why don't you what what I want? I need you when I go to tampa. How come you don't come out for that one? I came out to florida with you one time miami Yeah You only go out to the sad one Yes Um, all right. You know what we're becoming like donnie and marie right now And i'm really fucking getting douche chills. I gotta get off this. All right. That's the podcast for this week Uh, that's it go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you next week and uh I don't know grab your ladies titties for me. All right, that's it. That's it. I'll see you next week [BLANK_AUDIO]