[ Music ] >> BHH Productions presents KB Cabaret, an original variety show. With your host, Brie Harvey. [ Applause ] >> Hi folks, welcome to KB Cabaret. My name is Brie Harvey, head writer and producer of this show. KB Cabaret is a callibou of original skits, songs, poetry and short stories. What's callibou you ask magic from a child's creative imagination? I was five when I coined that word and it's been around my family ever since. The settings originate from my hometown, Parler City. And the stories originate from people who are-- >> Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. >> Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental. >> Thank you Bonnie, that folks obviously was my lawyer. Story my friends, the Parler City players. Judy McMahon, Bonnie DeParis, Charles Berman, John Carey, John Montgomery and myself. Brie Harvey. >> Welcome to our town. Welcome to Parler City, where our friends come. How about you play? >> When neighbors don't leave, they stay and chat a while. Welcome to our time to KB Cabaret. >> This time on KB Cabaret, we featured a music of Andrew Bemis plus all new original comedy sketches. >> Welcome to our time to KB Cabaret. [ Music ] >> You heard them on the show. >> You've tapped your toes to their music. >> Now come to see them live, as BHH Productions presents the first annual music and comedy festival of August 13th at Traditions on the Glen Johnson City. >> You like food? >> We got food. >> Like to shop? >> We got vendors. >> Like music? >> Oh yeah. >> Come see Burns and Christie. [ Music ] >> Hey Mavis. >> When I heard your violin play, something stirred full of water. >> Next check in. [ Music ] >> Andrew Bemis. [ Music ] >> Peaches and crime. >> You're not the bill, you're getting higher, and the young are getting older, it's a good company. >> Red arrow. >> A feather folded into pockets that you draw. >> The picklers. [ Music ] >> Milkweed. >> Well I got a hotel room and a hotel lobby. >> A black soap and a plank town parable. >> Tossing and twisting since 2 a.m. So I slipped out of bed. >> Live on stage. >> This summer. >> Sunday August 13th from 1 to 6th at Traditions on the Glen. >> Plus, see amazing comedy featuring our KB Cabaret players live. >> With special guests Tom Anselot and the Queen Bee Comedians. >> Tickets on sale now. >> Just go to KBcabaret.com. >> That's KBKA-B-A-R-E-T.com. >> Save the date for the sensation of the summer. >> Music and comedy festival. Sunday August 13th at Traditions at the Glen in Johnson City, New York. [ Music ] >> Mornings are a special time for me. My rituals are simple. A good cup of coffee. Soft classical music. And a little daily feature in our local newspaper called. Advice with Granny Atta. >> Dear Granny Atta. >> I have a kind and considerate roommate. She is quiet, neat and a good listener. She is the ideal roommate because she pays her rent on time and controls the household budget to save money. There lies the problem. To save money, she cooks for both of us at home. I have to tell you Granny Atta, she's the worst cook I've ever seen. I mean one evening, she took it upon herself to make ramen noodles, but she didn't think to even add water. She practically burned our apartment building down. Everything in our apartment has a great color and smells like smoke now. How can a grown woman not know how to make a hard boiled egg? If I wanted egg drop soup, there would be hope. Blah, the bright side is we could probably make money off her pancakes, selling them to kids who need a frisbee. It has now come down to when she heads to the kitchen. I want to scram, but she insists, I say. I sneak in store bought sandwiches and hide them, but then I forget the hiding places which add to the smell of decaying liverwurst on top of the burnt ramen noodles. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but my stomach can't take this anymore. Please help me Granny Atta, signed, hopping mad and harried. Dear Hopping, how delightful, having a roommate with a good heart and bad culinary skills. It must be so difficult for you to have to put up with this generous but untalented woman. I hope you have made sure that you both have fire and health insurance plans along with a good dental supplement. After all, if your roommate is as frugal as you say she is, she can afford the additional insurance. Here is my confusion. If you are so concerned for your health and well-being, why don't you pitch in? I'm sure you could whip up a nice vegetable casserole or make a sandwich without hiding the liverwurst. Stop complaining and start contributing. You will feel less harried, and I'm sure you can add a bounce to your stale and crusty relationship. Thank you for writing, honey, and have a nice day, Granny Atta. Last week on Bula de Champs, Parla City's chef extraordinaire. So, how is stepa? Well, we are getting ready for his defense. And just don't understand how you can harbor a fugitive who stole your life savings. And allegedly stole my life savings. He told me the whole story, Bre. I believe stepan is innocent. It was a total misunderstanding. That's what he told us. Well, I believe him. So where is the money from your savings? Well, he told me that he only had a little time to hide the money before Interpol had the police come. Don't you see? He didn't take my money. He hit it. Well, did he tell you where? No, Bre. He did not. But I trust him. Well, at least you have that pretty pineapple brooch from him. I know. I haven't taken it off since he gave it to me. I love the shiny rhinestones. It is quite sparkly. His trial is scheduled for the end of the month. Right now we have to wait since he's under house arrest. So in the meantime. In the meantime, I have a household of men next door. My ex-husband asked our son Paulie and his husband Bobby to stay with us too. Well, that's something. The four of them in your home. Why do you think I'm eating popsicles over here? Oh, is that coming from your house? What in the world? Mama. Mama. I'm dialing 9-1-1. Mama. Again. And now the continuing adventures of Bula de Champs, Chef extraordinaire. So let me get this straight. You were cleaning your gun. That's right, Officer. I was cleaning my hunting rifle. In the master bedroom. Yes, sir. You were trying to kill me. I was not. I just happened to be in the same room with you. That's all. You shot me three times. Whoops. I did. It was deliberate. Was not. Do you have a license for the rifle? I most certainly do. What I'd like to know is why both of you were in Miss De Champs' bedroom. One is my fiance and the other is my ex-husband. Miss De Champs, why would you put yourself in such a possibly dangerous position? Well, I trust them. I trust everybody. Ah, yes. Well, good. At least now I have you all together. I just hope you have good representation, Mr. Boulanger. Interpol has quite a stack of information on you. And you, Mr. De Champs, you are under arrest for reckless discharge of a firearm. What? Officer, put these nice boys in jail together, won't you? You'll hear from my lawyer. Get me away from that man. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right to remain silent, anything. Oh, ma'am. What? What? We, uh, need to confiscate your pineapple brooch. Excuse me? Don't worry, ma'am. We'll give you a receipt. What in the world do you want my brooch for? We believe that lovely shiny brooch may have some value. Sandy, get Miss De Champs' a receipt. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, in, ma'am? What? My wife and I are big fans of your show. We made that spicy pork taco in Pineapple salsa last week. I nearly cried. It was so delish. Oh, well, thank you. Where's your receipt, ma'am? You have a right, ma'am? Yes. We came with me, ma'am, my producer. Oh, how exciting. I'd love to meet her, too. Oh, boy. Wait until I tell my wife about this. Can I get your autographs? For the amazing spicy pork taco in Pineapple salsa, Sergeant Brady talked about, go to KB Cabaret's website and find her recipe app. If go to KB Cabaret.com, it's KBK, A-B-A-R-E-T, and download yours today. The Blackberry Festival Planning Committee will come to order. Our first item of business for this year is to welcome Bruce to the Planning Committee after 18 years on the garbage committee. Welcome, Bruce. Thanks, everyone. Very proud to be here. I've been waiting a long time for this. No, we only take the cream of the crop here on the Planning Committee, so you should be proud. Oh, but the garbage committee will miss you. Oh, yeah. They'll be up to their knees in blackberries without me around. Bruce, one difference you will notice between the garbage committee and the planning committee is that no one on the planning committee appreciates superfluous attempts at humor. We simply have no time for that. Oh, yes, I see my mistake. Now, let's move on to our subcommittee reports. That is, please give us the facility's subcommittee report. Yes, Madam Chairperson, at this year's Blackberry Festival, the tables will be set up under the tent. The Blackberry Pies will be on display in a vestibule, and the money will be taken at the entrance, just like last year. Just like every year since we started the Blackberry Festival back in 1927. Excellent, that is. That's what we come to expect from the Facility Subcommittee, Consistency. We like consistency here at the planning committee. Excuse me, but where will the garbage cans be? I beg your pardon, the garbage cans. Yeah, one thing I learned from being on the garbage committee all those years is that the garbage can should be under the tents near the tables rather than along the corridor. That way, people can dump their garbage in them after they eat, and it will be easier for the garbage committee to empty them. Bruce, you do realize that you are no longer on the garbage committee, don't you? Well, of course, but every time I tried to get the garbage cans moved when I was on the garbage committee, the planning committee said that they would decide where the garbage cans would go, and that I should just be quiet and empty the garbage cans. Well, that's good advice. Yeah, but now I'm on the planning committee. I want to do some planning. So why don't we move the garbage cans under the tents near the tables? No, you have a lot to learn, Bruce. We'll take up your suggestion after all the subcommittee reports. Polly, please give us your pie-making subcommittee report. Thank you, Madam Chairperson. We at the pie-making subcommittee are proud to have been making Blackberry Pies for the Festival each year, just like our mothers and grandmothers before us. I have no doubts that this year we will do the same. Blackberry Pies represent truth, justice, and the American way. That's my report. Thank you, Polly. How inspirational. Really? That's it? Nothing about where the Blackberries are coming from, or when you start making them, or how many pies get baked? Madam Chairperson, I really must protest this constant harassment. We on the pie-making subcommittee can't be expected to produce quality pies in this type of hostile environment. Hostile environment? I was just asking a simple question. This is outrageous. We can't make pies when our integrity and competence are being attacked. I quit. Now look what you've done. Polly has been the head of our pie-making subcommittee for 28 years, and now we have to replace her. I don't suppose you'd like to volunteer? Well, I was just looking for some information. When do you guys on the planning committee actually start doing the planning? And when are we going to talk about moving the garbage cans? Oh, 30 years. I think it's time we taught this newcomer how things are done here at the planning committee. Bring in the planning committee procedures manual, and read it out loud to the committee. Read the planning committee procedures manual out loud. Are you sure? The last time we did that, it took six hours, and three of the committee members passed out from board M&D hydration. I don't need to hear any procedures. I just want to move the garbage cans closer to the tables. Why is that so complicated? Perhaps you prefer to return to the garbage committee where life is so much simpler. Some people are evidently not quite intellectually capable of meeting the planning committee's highest standards. Right. Good idea. And I've taken my garbage cans with me. Good day. Ah, well, Thaddeus. That wraps up another successful planning committee meeting. Yes, it did, and all it took was one mention of the procedures manual. Works every time. Well, is that procedures manual anyway? I haven't seen it in years. We threw it in the garbage can in 1958. The garbage can in the corridor, and the garbage committee hauled it away. What you heard was a little part of a song called banjo laley, and it is sung by a very talented artist, Andrew Bemis, and you spell it a little differently, Andrew. Welcome to our show, by the way. Thank you. You're welcome. Will you spell Andrew, A-N-D-R-U? Is this something your parents decided they wanted that spelling, or is this a stage name? No, actually, that came up when I went to college, I started using email, and at the time, I think it was coming out of chat rooms, and people were writing everything a little shorter, kind of like text messages now, but not quite as short as text they get. And just as a joke, I tried to make emails as short as possible, like short and off words, including ones that shouldn't be short, including my name. I see. And it just kind of stuck, so it's been like that for probably 20 years. Well, it gives you a distinction, I think. You play the banjo, and do you play the ukulele as well? Not very well. I do have a little banjo ukulele, which is what the song banjo laley comes to. I did not know that there was a combination. Yeah, back in the 20s, they made all sorts of combinations of banjo instruments. This was kind of before electric instruments were really popular, and so the nice thing about a banjo head on an instrument is it made it really loud. And so they had banjo basses, and they had banjo mandalins, banjo ukuleles, and any variety of banjo you can think of. And most of them thought it's pretty terrible, but that's what it works. You are using the banjo laley in this song, called banjo laley? That's right. And so it does not sound terrible at all. It sounds amazing. You know, it actually sounds pretty good. It's generally out of tune, but it sounds pretty good. So tell me a little bit about the lyrics of this song, because the melody is fantastic. Lyrics are too. But I detect some dark tones in your music, at least your lyrics I do. And so I'm just curious about that. There are some. I guess for me so often I write music to say the things that either I'm too nice to say in person to people, or things that I just don't know how to say otherwise. That actually comes from a really old song called banjo ukulele, and I often just write new verses for things. And at the time I was getting a little tiny house with another house that was about 10 feet away, and they tended to keep their television on early late at night, for example. So one of the verses I think was about that, somebody stole my bicycle, so I think one of the verses was about that, because that kind of makes me unhappy. And then you have two lines to say, some days are bad, some are worse to most or simply terrible. I don't know if we feel that way, but some days I feel that way. Well the melody is uplifting. The lyrics I think speak to us all. Let's go and listen to this song, because I have a feeling in the Kaby Cabaret audience, you can love it. We'll be right back. So, days are bad, some are worse, most are simply terrible. There's one thing I like to sing to make them somewhat bearable. I love my banjo-lay-lay, my ukulele, I love to play daily, it's always out of tune. I place the bad ones on a horse, I can't forget that day, put my last two box on the mare named Lux, she ran the other way, I love my banjo-lay-lay, my ukulele, I love to play daily, it's always out of tune. It's really like I'm trying to sleep, the neighbors are watching people, I don't remember, I'm trying to find a way, I'm trying to sleep, I'm trying to find a way, I love to play daily, I love to play daily, it's always out of tune. It's really like I'm trying to sleep, the neighbors are watching TV, that blue light blinking through my window pane, and the noise don't bother me, I'll just play more banjo-lay, my ukulele, I love to play daily, it's always out of tune. To the fella who took my bike, I hope that you enjoy it, you can ride it, if you like it, please do not destroy it, I love my banjo-lay-lay, my ukulele, I love to play daily, it's always out of tune. Some days I've been, some are worse, most are simply terrible, there's one thing I like to say to make them somewhat terrible, I love my banjo-lay-lay, my ukulele, I love to play daily, it's always out of tune, I love my banjo-lay-lay, my ukulele, I love to play daily, it's always out of tune. Ladies and gentlemen, the Governor of Idaho, Madam Olivia Elsner. Thank you Madam Secretary, I hereby call to order this emergency Idaho State Meeting to discuss a very important matter we must face and tackle head on. During the great state of Idaho, we face many hurdles on a daily basis, but none greater than the one we face today, our dire financial crisis. The bottom has dropped out of the potato market as people are starting to eat healthier, more balanced meals. This means they are cutting back on their carb intake, which means less potatoes. Potatoes are pure carbs and nobody wants to eat them anymore. As you know, the only thing we produce is potatoes. Nothing else, just potatoes. So we are meeting today to discuss and develop creative solutions to this very problem. We can't wait any longer, we have to act and we have to act now. I'll yield to any and all suggestions from the Council and then we'll open up the floor to the public. Yes Mr. Treasurer. Thank you Madam Governor, I have to inform you that our fiscal status is much worse than previously predicted and we must consider taking more drastic measures than employed in the past. As you may remember, we were briefly engaged in negotiations to merge with Iowa to be able to share the potato and corn revenue growth resources between the two states, but those talks broke down mostly because we couldn't agree on a name for the newly created state. Iowa was immediately shot down because it was both boring and uninspiring and for obvious reasons. I owed a hoe, didn't fare any better. But isn't corn a carb too? No ma'am, corn is a starch and people are still eating starch. But not corn. Right, two different things. Any suggestions? Well, I was doing some research and found out that we have several options available to us. Continue. First, we could petition the federal government to bail us out by infusing our state with huge amounts of money in the form of grants or low interest loans until we get our fiduciary costs down and find other revenue streams to fill the state coffers. Interesting. The next option is we file for bankruptcy. Will that be the better of the two options? No, the net result will be the same except it will ruin our FICO credit score. Mr. Treasurer is filing for bankruptcy a viable option for us. Not if we want to finance new carpeting for the state office complex. That it? No, we need new carpeting in the break room too. Okay. We'll now take suggestions from the floor. But yes, sir, are you with the red suspenders? Hi. My name is Liam plaids shirt. Hi, Liam. What's your suggestion? I like good beer, see? And I noticed that we only have a few micro breweries in the whole state. Uh-huh. And your point is... Micro breweries are the new goal when it comes to dramatic increase in tax receipts. We need more micro breweries, man. We can make a fortune. Put this place on the map. Oh, how? Our state is out of money, our citizens have no money, and all we have is a bunch of potatoes rotting in the fields. Well, our good neighbors in Washington have 136 breweries, and our other neighbors in Oregon have at least that many if not more. How in the world do you propose we build more micro breweries without any money? We don't. I don't get it. Simple. It's a strategic attack on both the states of Washington and Oregon and take over the breweries. Hmm. Attack two of our neighboring states and take their breweries, huh? Yep. They're right next to each other, so it shouldn't take that long. And since they're small states with a lot of tourists, I don't think they'll put up much of a fight. But we don't have an army. We've got plenty of potato farmers with plenty of potatoes, uh, potato cannons. Yeah, potato cannons, that just might work. Madam governor, I've been crunching the numbers, and if this plan works, we should be out of the red in six months flat, and we can make vodka with any potatoes we have left over. Okay. Let's vote. All those in favor say aye. Aye. Opposed. Motion passed. Everyone go home and get some rest. We attack in the morning. All units, we have a 1235 at the corner of Maple and Dunmore. Roger that. Unit one on route. Unit two responding dispatch, back up in process. Confirmed. Units one and two proceed. What do we got, Unit one? Apparently, some guy decided to climb the tree and won't come down. All right, let's go take a look. Hey, you clown. Come down out of that tree. Did you hear me? No. Is he coming down? No. He's pretending to throw a rope up under the branch above to lift himself higher. Uh, that's not a clown. It looks like a clown. Look at all that makeup he's wearing. Nope. He's a mime. He seems to be trying to say something, but nothing's coming out. Step aside, Unit one, let me try. I used to speak a little mime in my younger day. You what? Shh. Quiet. I have to concentrate. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Oh, I see. Well, that explains everything. Explains what? What did he say? I didn't hear anything. He said, don't miss the music and comedy festival August 13th at the Glenden Johnson City, New York. C.K.B. Cabaret Live is a celebrate their 100th show along with a whole gaggle of guest comedians. Not to mention a star-rated lineup of musical acts and a special appearance by Sketch Comedy Group Moose Pie, all topped off by stand-up comedy headliner Tom Anselone. Can you believe it? A music and comedy festival, right in our own backyard. He said all that? Yes. Now let's get out of here so we can get ready for the comedy festival. But what about the mime? Yeah, he'll be fine as soon as that fierce windstorm is over. What windstorm? There's not even a cloud in the sky. But wait, wait, wait. Now he's trapped in a box. What do we do? Nothing. They get trapped in a box. That's what they do. Oh, I sure hope he makes it out in time for the comedy festival. Don't worry. Some clown will come along and let him out. Music and Comedy Festival, August 13th at Traditions at the Glen in Johnson City, New York. See you there. Okay, we're back with Andrew Bemis, and we're talking about his wonderful banjo music. We are going to be having his website hooked up to ours on the musicians page of kbcabaret.com. Just click on to Andrew Bemis and you'll find everything you need to know about the artists, gentlemen. Very talented. You play the banjo and you have a couple of groups that I have seen. One is called Reel to Reel and the other one is called Singer. How many albums have you come out with and how did you start this whole journey of music? As far as how many albums I've come out with, I guess I have three solo albums and quite a few albums that are collaborations with other people. I don't even know quite. It's probably less than a dozen. I guess that's the answer to that. The three solo albums are called Reel to Reel and Singer and Play's Best is Bedtime. Kind of the beginning of the whole thing was Play's Best is Bedtime, which I just stayed up really late one year, I think it was 2001 to 2002, New Year's Eve and New Year's Morning, and I just recorded a bunch of songs with my guitar and my voice because I didn't even play banjo yet at the time, and I just did that because I wanted to travel and play music and be able to pay for my bus ticket, so I figured I better have something to sell and something to show people what I do so that they let me do that and people liked it. So I guess that's what got me started. Did you have professional training with banjo or did you pick that up yourself? No, it's on the book. Somebody gave me this banjo probably, I don't know, 15 years ago and it sat in my closet for a while and I tried this Earl Scrugg's book and that didn't work and I tried Pete Tiger's book and that didn't work, I learned pretty much everything I learned from books and I'm not sure quite why, but I read it and then I tried to do what it says and eventually I came across this book and in a music store that obviously had been sitting there for about 20 years and it was called the Illustrated American Five String Banjo and I just picked it up on a whim and it was filling its original wrapper and everything and I read the book and I did what it says and now I play the banjo. Well, you'd play it well and now I'm looking at the lyrics, listen to the music of Hockfam, you are called a neo folk artist, is that correct? Yeah, I've heard people call me that, at times I might have even said the same thing. Your music certainly reflects it, the lyrics, this is like a parallel metaphor of you and Hocklberry fans. Yeah, very cool, very cool lyrics. What inspired you? What inspired me? I was living in Illinois at the time, not too far from the Fox River, I grew up in Michigan, here in Lake Michigan and I just always loved the water and I bought a canoe when I was young, it was an old canoe that had fallen off some of the cars so it was all bent up on the side but I had it for a hundred bucks, I shaved up my money for a long time and bought this canoe and I just loved being on the water. Then I moved out to Illinois and the closest real water was the Fox River which was a little ways that way and tried to get out there whenever I could but it wasn't as often as I'd like to be out there and I just realized I guess when I was living in Illinois how much I kind of need water around and that's partly what the song is about, that's partly when I'm really happy that we moved here to Binghamton too. The last time we lived didn't have any water it had a creek but it's nice living in a town that actually has two rivers there. Yeah, it's beautiful, well let's take this river journey with Andrew B. Miss and Hock Finn. I'll see you right back. When I was thirteen all my friends made fun of me because I wore knickers instead of jeans just like Hock Finn, I used to smoke a corn pie pipe I would smoke it late at night. I never got in trouble because I turned out the light, just like Hock Finn. I built myself a raft of wood I would float it whenever I could until the day is sank right into the river like Hock Finn. Sinking, sinking, sinking, sinking, sinking, sinking down, one just sink and see the water slowly seeping around. Now then I'm twenty-two, I'm so glad that I found you. You love the river just as much as I do, just like Hock Finn. And I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you forever babe. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you forever babe. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you. When I was thirteen all my friends made fun of me because I wore knickers instead of jeans just like Hock Finn. And when we're sixty-three, will you still be with me? I just wanna go down the river, just you and I, until the day we die. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you forever babe. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you forever babe. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you forever babe. I just wanna go down the river, go down the river with you. When I was thirteen all my friends made fun of me because I wore knickers instead of jeans just like Hock Finn. Hi, I'd like to order a cheeseburger with no onions and tomatoes, just let us in your special sauce. Is that it? No, I'll have a small order of fries to go with that and a small soda. Okay, that will be one thirty-seven forty-three. What? Oh, I'm sorry, I must have typed in the wrong amount. Wanda, would you come over here? Yeah. I punched in the wrong number, I'm sorry. Wow, yeah you did. Can you fix that? I'm sorry, no, that's the price. I'm sorry? That's the price, I can't fix it. You'll have to pay one thirty-seven forty-three. I'm sorry. But the price of a cheeseburger and fries must be under five bucks. Yeah, I'm sorry, once it's punched in I can't fix it. We'll just give you your change back. Geez, well okay, if I get my change back, here, here's my credit card. Okay, it went through, now your burger and fries cost five forty-nine, I'll deduct that from the total of one thirty-seven forty-three, and that's one thirty-one ninety-four. Sign here. Okay, there, your order will be up shortly. What? Wait, where's my change? It will be credited to your card in two weeks, I'm sorry. But how am I going to pay my rent? I'm sorry. Sorry, here's your cup for the small soda. Thanks. Excuse me, I'm trying to get a cola. And this machine is streaming clear soda. Oh, I'm sorry, must be out of syrup. Here, try this one. Hey, you just squirted root beer all in my shirt. Oh, I'm sorry. This is my good shirt. How am I supposed to go back to work? I'm sorry, I'll get you a cloth. I don't even like root beer. Here you are. I'm sorry about that. Number nineteen? That's me. Here you are. I'm sorry, it took so long. Um, hey, this is a fish sandwich. I'm sorry. Isn't that what you ordered? No. I ordered a cheeseburger with no onions and tomato with lettuce and special sauce. Oh, I'm sorry, I'll change it. But that means I am to charge you. You want me another dollar twenty-five. What? I'm sorry. Just because all you keep saying I'm sorry does not make you smarter or right. You people are pathetic. You know what? Keep it. Keep your stupid sandwich. I'm already late for work. I have to change my shirt and flag down a hot dog or something at the corner of food cart. I'm sorry, I ever came into your sorry excuse of an eating establishment. How? You're automatic sliding doors out of order. We're sorry. Oh dear. What's wrong? I can't find my gloves. I've looked everywhere. Gloves? Yes. The red ones. They don't own red gloves. Sure I do. When I was in the Hamptons with Jeremy, he bought them for me. Wanna eat a Carlisle? I'm sorry. Wanna eat a Carlisle? You think you're Wanna eat a Carlisle? The character you play in your daytime soap? The rich and desirable? What are you talking about, Bert? Your character Wanna eat a received red gloves from her soap opera character lover, Jeremy Jenkins. Played by Ernie Betermeyer, by the way, during that episode, the ice prince hijinks in the Hamptons. Oh my gosh, you're right. I don't know why I said that. Well, you've been on that show longer than Moses. Moses Mazowski joined 30 years ago. I joined the group two years later. You know what I mean. Oh well. Then what am I going to wear with this outfit? I don't know. You know what I mean. Hey. Hey. What's up? Ernie and Kate are going to be here in a few minutes. Hey. Speak of the devil. Hurry up. Okay. Okay. Okay. Ernie. Hey. Hi. How are you doing? Oh darling. It's been ages. We just saw you last week for Majang. Well, in the cosmic sense of the word. Hey man. You have a drink for this thirsty fella. It's one hot mother out there. The usual? You got it. Oh. Hello everybody. What are you doing here? You have the nerve to show up with your over painted face in my home. Hussey. Skang. Trollope. What are you two doing? You've been friends since the seventh grade. Don't you talk right now, Buster. You're part of the reason I hate her. Wow. Hey, you're not Tiffany Fairchild. Tiffany Fairchild is a character you play in the soul. You're playing Kate Betermeyer, best friend of my wife Sue Sanders. She's not Juanita? No. She's not Tiffany? No. Oh Sue, can you ever forgive me? Darling, of course we've known each other since the seventh grade. Can you believe these two? Damn. What are you doing here anyway? Didn't you do enough harm in the Hamptons, Jeremy? What? Ceiling diamonds and then sleeping with my sister's hairstylist cousin Juanita Carlisle? I should have had you arrested. Oh yeah. Well, you have no jurisdiction here, Detective Emilio. You're in LA. I am? Oh, wait a minute. If I'm in LA, then you must be in LA. And technically, we are not in Long Island, where the heist in the affair took place. And that means I'm not Jeremy, but Ernie the actor. And I'm not Detective Emilio, but playing old Burt Sanders. Oh, that's a relief. Ah, let me get you that drink. Those two, I know, such kidders. Excuse me ladies, may I borrow our hostess for a minute? Sure, darling. Won't be too long. I want my love. So you got the diamonds, Juanita? Well, now don't be angry, Jeremy. I think I misplaced them. What? I saw the diamonds in the lining of my red gloves, the ones you gave to me, the Hamptons. But I couldn't find them. You couldn't find them. Juanita, do you know how much they're worth? Of course I know. I'm not stupid. But Detective Emilio was right there in the bedroom. I just didn't want to make a scene. We are back with Andrew Bemis. And we are going to be playing our last song from the selections that we've been presenting to you to our KB cabaret audience. It is called "Kibby." And I hate to say it's the last song of the show because it's always a pleasure to have talented people like Andrew Bemis here on our program. Andrew, I want to thank you, first of all, for being on our show. Well, thank you. I'm just a joy to be on it. And it's a joy to speak with you. And I just want to remind KB cabaret audience that Andrew's music and his website are linked to our musicians page on KB cabaret.com. That's KBK, A-B-A-R-E-T dot com. And KB is one song, the only song that we've been playing here on the show that does not have any lyrics. It's all music. That's correct. In fact, my wife was a music history instructor, which would be very quick to say, "Oh, it's actually not a song at all, it's the two, and because it has no words." Oh, okay. I still always call it a song, but she's a smart. She's the educated one in the group. That's the distinction. The same distinction as if you say a boat and a ship. Yeah. Exactly right. This is the ship of, no, the boat of the song world or something a lot of time. And I only say that is because you have a love of water, and so do I, actually. I do too. We enjoy nature. Tell me a little bit about KB. Well, KB is a little tiny town in Michigan, and it's really not a town at all anymore. It used to have the train tracks used to run through it, and there was a Grange Hall, and there would have been a loading platform for the farms and everything. It was just a little farming community around the train tracks. And when I was growing up, it happened that we went to church right along where the train tracks were in KB in the old Grange Hall, and it was called KB Church. And when I was little, they still had tracks there, but I never, ever saw a train on them. They were unused by that time, and then eventually they tore up the tracks and they turned it into a bicycle trail, which became really popular. And I just always wondered what it would be like to see a train on those tracks. Like, it's really, and KB, there's nothing there anymore. Even the Grange Hall has been torn down now, and you just never know there used to be a town there, rather than the fact that there's an old service station that no longer has gasoline. And, you know, there's a corner that's pretty much it. So I guess it was just, the song is kind of thinking about, thinking about this town that's no longer a town, thinking about the train tracks that are no longer a train track. And just imagining that there's a train on them, so that's... Yes, the rhythm I heard. I heard it. Yes. Okay. All right, that's very cool. Well, Andrew, I want to thank you so much for being on our show, and we're going to be leading out with KB and enjoy. We'll see you... Thank you. Yeah, thank you very much. And everyone, we'll see you on the radio next week. Take care. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. You heard them on the show. You've tapped your toes to their music. Now come to see them live as VHH Productions presents the first annual music and comedy festival of August 13th at traditions on the Glen Johnson City. You like food? We got food. Like to shop? We got vendors. Like music? Oh, yeah. Come see Burns and Christie. Hey, Mavis. Next chicken. And you be miss. Peaches and crime. Red arrow. The pickleurs. Milkweed. Well, I got a hotel room and a hotel lobby. A black soul. And plank town parable. Tossing and twisting since 2 a.m. So I slipped out of bed. Live on stage. This summer. Sunday August 13th from 1 to 6 at traditions of the Glen. Plus, see amazing comedy featuring our KB Cabaret players live. With special guests Tom Anselot and the Queen B comedians. Tickets on sale now. Just go to KBcabaret.com. That's KBKABARET.com. Save the date for the sensation of the summer. Music and comedy festival. Sunday August 13th at traditions at the Glen in Johnson City, New York. Music Music Well, folks, that's all for today's show. I'd like to thank all of our guests for being on KB Cabaret. I am always awed with the amazing talent out there. Thank you to my hard-working crew, co-workers and actors John Kerry, John Montgomery, actors Junivin Mann, and Bonnie DeFarras. My amazing sound engineer and actor newlywed, Charles Berman. His assistant, Valentine Monfuega. My music engineer, David Rice of Basement Studios, who makes me sound better than I am. And a special shout out to Christina Del Nella, who plays one mean piano and now works the musical theater in New York City. Of course, a special thank you to you, dear KB Cabaret audience, for stopping by and listening to our show. We certainly couldn't do this without you. If any of you have a hankering to write or sing for our show, contact me, reharvey through the show submission page. Let me see what you've got. The sponsors, you want your name heard by over 150,000 listening audience members all over the country and as far as Australia? Hello, mates. Then KB Cabaret is the place to be. Just give me a shout out on KB Cabaret.com. That's KBK, A-B-A-R-E-T.com. I'm Bre Harvey, head writer and producer of KB Cabaret. See you next week on the radio. ♪ ♪ Thank you for coming ♪ ♪ Coming to stay a while ♪ ♪ Thank you for coming ♪ ♪ To spend some time ♪ ♪ In love to have you ♪ ♪ And share our policy ♪ ♪ Come back again now to KB Cabaret ♪
