(upbeat music) - Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of Elsie's Average Size Pickles. You know me, my name is Keith. I'm here with my brother, Steve, and I just wanna say, you know, just when I thought I could write an episode that has nothing to do with politics, an actual in-depth talk about other things, slow news day, finishing it up, doing the show, writing it out, and then all hell breaks loose. Biden has pulled out of the race. - Yeah. - So I had to move that show over to the side. (laughing) - Welcome, welcome to the world today. It's not scary. - I always joke that it's a two-hour news cycle. And this weekend did not disappoint. I guess, I mean, yeah, what can you do? What can you do? You can do all the preparation in the world. You can refer to yourself as preparation H. (laughing) - There's no preparing for this shit. It's ridiculous. All right, so lay it out. What was the headline today? And this is the only headline you'll be hearing about probably for the next four weeks. - Yeah, yeah. Well, at least the next 24 to 48 hours, it's gonna be heavy this, and then they're gonna only bring it up every two hours. - But what is the headline? What happened? - Biden has pulled out of the race. He is not going to seek what? (laughing) And all hell has broken loose. I mean, you have people on both sides talking about it. The Republicans are, of course, trying to spit it into a certain case. The Democrats are talking about both sides as in both sides of the what Joe is planning, why he did this down, and what Kamala is going to do. Are there going to be other candidates? Is she going to just pick a VP? Is there just gonna be an orgy of infighting at the DNC? We don't know. No, we know. - No one knows. That's the problem. Nobody knows. I can't remember if we talked about this on the pod or if we talked about it just off, off air. But, I mean, let's face it. - Probably both. - We saw this coming. It's, we saw this coming. There's obviously a flurry of different types of news stories and different comments all over social media, all over the news. It seems as if the Republicans, I think based on the knee-jerk reactions that I'm seeing on social media especially, I think that the Republicans are a little bit worried right now. - I should be a little bit worried. - I think all of their plans has been to keep slamming Biden. - Well, they had a much better shot with Biden. - As of two o'clock this afternoon, officially Trump is the oldest candidate. - I know. - And there's already like these reels of him misspeaking and acting crazy and saying shit or that's nuts or, you know, the other idea being that he mistakes names as well. I just had Biden moment right there. Did you see that? Like I literally just blanked out. I literally just let me go. You just let me go. - You fucker? - Well, yeah, that's what I want. - Like I literally had the thought in my head and it disappeared in that moment. - I saw the whiff of smoke. - It was amazing. - I'm just here, you know, maybe you're smoking. - No, no, that was brain material fried. And as you can tell, probably from my voice. - Oh, he's beautiful, yeah, all right. - As you can tell from my-- - That's my trumpet personage. - As you can tell from my voice, I woke up and just nothing but allergies today. So-- - I know it'll help you. - What? - Let's all go out and get a hamburger. - Yeah, hamburger. (laughing) - He had my car with coppefy. - So, like I said, there's a lot of talk out there. When you pop onto the socials, it seems like the vast majority of MAGA responders are, you know, they're very bold in what they're saying, which to me seems like more-- - You know what they mean? - Yeah, they're-- - They don't know anything. - Yeah. - They're panicking. So they're just throwing spaghetti noodles at the wall sitting-- - Right, well stick. - Well, look, we don't know anything either, but that's the reason why we're doing this in-between emergency podcast. You can't have-- - I've literally heard on Fox News about 20 minutes ago where they're like, "Bama has not come out "to endorse Harris, he's not going to endorse her." - Yeah. - It's been fucking an hour and a half. - Yeah, you gotta give it a moment. However, Obama has put out a statement. - Oh, he did. - Yeah, he did put out a statement regarding Biden dropping out. So, he said in his full statement, Joe Biden has been one of America's most consequential presidents, as well as a dear friend and partner to me. Today, we've also been reminded, again, that he is a patriot of the highest order. Well, that's a butter up right there because Obama was one of the ones calling him to drop out of the race. 16 years ago, when I began my search for a vice president, I knew about Joe's remarkable career in public service, but what I came to admire even more was his character, his deep empathy and hard-earned resilience, his fundamental decency and belief that everyone counts. Now, that's something that I would agree with on Biden. Whether it's true or not, he does exude that publicly. Since taking office, President Biden has displayed that character again and again. He helped end the pandemic, created millions of jobs, lowered the cost of prescription drugs, passed the first major piece of gun safety legislation in 30 years and made the biggest investment to address climate change in history and fought to ensure the rights of the working people to organize for fair wages and benefits. Internationally, he restored American standing in the world, revitalized a NATO and mobilized the world to stand up against Russian aggression in Ukraine. More than that, President Biden pointed us away from the four years of chaos falsehood and division that had characterized Donald Trump's administration. Through his policies and his example, Joe has reminded us of who we are at our best, a country committed to old-fashioned values like trust and honesty, kindness and hard work. A country that believes in democracy, rule of law and accountability. A country that insists everyone, no matter who they are, has a voice and deserves a chance at a better life. This outstanding track record gave President Biden every right to run for reelection and finished the job he started. Joe understands better than anyone, the stakes in this election, how everything he has fought for throughout his life and everything the Democratic Party stands for will be at risk if we allow Donald Trump back in the White House and give Republicans control of Congress. I know Joe has never backed down from a fight. For him to look at the political landscape and decide that he should pass the torch to a new nominee is surely one of the toughest gestures in his life, or surely one of the toughest in his life. But I know that he wouldn't make this decision unless he believed it was right for America. In a testament to Joe Biden's love of country and a historic example of genuine public service, but once again, putting the interest of the American people ahead of his own future generations, or ahead of his own, that future generations of leaders will do well to follow. We will be navigating uncharted waters in the days ahead, but I have extraordinary confidence that the leaders of our party will be able to create a process from which an outstanding nominee emerges. I believe that Joe Biden's vision of a generous, prosperous and united America that provides opportunity for everyone will be on full display at the Democratic Convention in August. And I expect that every single one of us are prepared to carry that message of hope and progress forward into November and beyond. Okay, well, oh wait, for now Michelle and I just want to express our love and gratitude to Joe and Jill for leading us so ably and courageously during these perilous times and for their commitment to the details of freedom and equality that this country was founded on. So that's Obama, no drama Obama getting in the mix. You know, I think obviously that's a very political statement. I think it was pretty clear that Obama felt that it was time for Joe to go as it was many in the Democratic leadership and historic leadership. So now the question becomes, who's it gonna be? Well, I find it very difficult to believe that it won't be Kamala. The question really is who is going to be her running mate? There's a lot of people talking online saying, oh, Michelle Obama should, you know, she should be in the mix. Well, I agree, that would be an amazing thing if Michelle Obama, because I think the only one in the country that could literally destroy and put Trump's face in the mud is Michelle Obama. I really believe that. I think there's a few people. First off, I wanna say, I think Biden was afraid to let go. That's why this took so long and I'm not saying he was afraid to let go of the power or anything like that. Yeah, I don't think he really gave a shit about that. No, I don't think he gave a shit about that. I think he honestly believed he. I think he was afraid of the circus that would ensue. Yeah, I think that was part of it, but I think more over, he honestly believed that he could beat him. And I think that having all of these in the last 25, 30 days, all of these missteps, no matter how he actually is, I mean, he could be, you know, spry as spry gets, but have these bad moments that happen to be caught on camera. But I think getting COVID, the week of the national convention, when they were supposed to be kind of like trotting him out as a comparison of the foolishness, I think. And let's be honest, there have been instances where parties have chosen their candidates and competitive conventions after the primary. In fact, that happened frequently before the modern primary system was put in place in like 72. Great thing. Yeah, I believe that. So there's a greater say in process. I believe that that was because of what happened in '68. Yes. Exactly. It meant to be a stopgap. However, again, it's not like there's not historical precedent for this. No, because Joe Biden won all of the pledge delegates to be the presumptive first nominee, but now he is the presumptive first nominee of the major party to quit the race after the primary set concluded. Right. And I don't know if that's ever happened before. When I say that there's precedent for this, I mean that there's precedent for, and it's not a great precedent, it's a 1968 Democratic Convention, which was also held in Chicago and ended up being a total shit show. So that could happen. You know, we have to, if you don't know your history, you're doomed to repeat it. I don't think that that's gonna be the case, though. I think this is going to be a very, very quick, fallen line behind Kamala. And I think that really the only question at this point is who is going to be her running mate? Let's put a small pause on that because while we were going to spend the vast majority of this podcast talking about the Republican Convention, I think we can kind of sandwich that in a little bit here. And I think we need to, because otherwise, it will be pointless for us to talk about it on the next podcast. There are some things that people need to know about what happened in the Republican Convention. Aside from the insanity of some of the speakers, I mean, his golf pro going up and talking about him, really? That's Hulk Hogan, really? - Oh, I'm sorry, that was Hulk, I thought it was MGT. - Yeah, M-T-G, right, I'm back. - Yes. - You know, I mean, the one cute, and let me just say, if you're going to trot Hulk Hogan out there and call him Hulk Hogan, instead of Terry Belia, which is his real name, where's the outrage? That's not his given name. - Well, it's not just that. I, the idea that they didn't realize that having Hulk Hogan on a political stage like that was going to immediately come followed by Terry Crews in "Idiocracy", the scene from-- - Yeah. - So like, they don't even know, they don't know what they don't know. - Well, they don't even know what "Idiocracy" is. - Right, and that's what I'm saying, is they don't know what they don't know, and you would think that there would be a-- - They're looking like a bunch of tag sheep. - That was hysterical, they just, the blind, fallen, like these are the same motherfuckers that wouldn't wear a mask. - Why are you bleeding the blind? - Yeah, these are the same motherfuckers that wouldn't wear a mask during a pandemic. Now, whether they worked or they didn't was irrelevant, at that time, we were under the impression that they did work, or at least to some degree, and they just refused, but they're walking around with bandages on their ears so that they can look like the deer-- - Maxi pads on their ears. - Yeah, exactly, Maxi pads on their ears so they can look like the deer leader. The other thing that I found interesting about that was the pure look of resentment or resign or distaste when Kid Rock was on stage from Melania Trump. It looked like she was literally wanting to throw up in her mouth. - And Kid Rock would have drank it. - Yeah, the one part that I did appreciate was when his granddaughter, and I believe it's, well, it is, a junior's daughter. And I think it's Kaya, Kaya, is that her name? - I don't know. - Anyways, out of all the stuff that I saw through the entire convention, that was the only thing that was really tolerable was Kaya, and it was because she was being a granddaughter and she was being sweet, and she was talking about him in ways that were very personal, and she gave him a little poke here and there, kind of a little jab at him to let him know that I'm still your granddaughter, and I'm still gonna talk shit about you, even if we're at the convention where you're gonna be nominated president, which I thought was endearing. It actually endeared her to me. It didn't necessarily endear Trump to me, but it did at least show a different side. How about-- - Remind me of. - What was that? - When James Hetfield and Metallica brought his daughter to an award show, and she looked miserable like she was embarrassed of his antics, and it just showed you could be the coolest motherfucker in the world. - Doesn't matter. - You're still going to be a dork. - To your kids, yep, yeah. And that's kind of what I, it's a little bit of the vibe, but it was with the grandpa vibe that she was delivering it. So that was sweet, and I think anyone who criticizes her, or I don't know why they, like I doubt she volunteered to do that. I think she was told that she needed to do that. - Well, Trump was trying to also get barren to be a delegate. - Yeah, and that didn't work out. - The bigger news through that entire convention was that the very people who are against gay marriage and LGBTQ and, you know, are transphobic, they broke Grindr. Like, yes, they literally broke Grindr, the gay hookup site. And I think that that needs to really be investigated. I think that that needs to be looked into. I think that that needs to be a major news story. It's a minor news story now. Hopefully it becomes a major news story, but there were like outages, I guess. - Yeah, it crashed in flames, apparently. - Yeah, according to the news stories that I read, like the people who are regular Grindr users like, "What the hell is this shit?" (both laughing) And they were saying that the faceless pictures and blank bios rose like 50% over the week or something like that. We're against gay people and trans people. We're going to a convention to talk about it and scream from the top of our lungs with a maxi pad, taped to our ear. - What am I doing after? - No, I don't want to go to a bar, but-- - Do I swipe left or swipe left? - I'm not sure which way to swipe, but I just want to have some gay sex with someone in Milwaukee. There's some anonymous stranger. I want to have sex with anonymous stranger. I want to have sex with anonymous stranger. I want to have a stranger in Milwaukee who's got the same luggage I bring to the table. (both laughing) - Damn it, I can't use Grindr, who's going to peg me? - Yeah, yeah, I mean, it was a peg fast, apparently. It was absolutely, I bet you. Now, I don't know if this is true or not, but I heard a lot of the bars in town were hosting trans nights and drag shows just to keep the Republicans away from them. So that was interesting. Now, with all that being said, yes, we had our fun and we poked a little bit at the Republicans. Trump's speech, which should have been a layup-- - They did a whole lot of poking, I'm sure. - Yeah, they did a whole lot of poking. Trump's speech at the end should have been a layup. But even David Axelrod was like, well, after that speech, that's the first thing to go right for Democrats in the last two weeks or whatever, right? And it was horrible. It was horrible. He was basically almost deifying himself, saying that the reason he was alive was because God had his back and these motherfuckers ate that shit up. However, that only lasted for about 10 minutes. And then he got into his rally speech, essentially. More subdued tone, sure, more subdued delivery. I'll give you that, but it was still just a campaign rally speech. And the interesting thing was they were falling asleep and walking out before he was done. And all I heard was how much enthusiasm they had for him. Well, apparently 90 minutes of listening to him, just basically spew the same shit he does at a campaign rally was more than they could bear. Let's be honest, the speech became boring and they weren't just leaving. They were trying to get to the grinder date. Yeah, I bet you. I wonder if there's anyone at grinder that can pull up the times because the big spikes were on Tuesday and Thursday. Those were the big spikes. So it was like, you know, that would have been what? The second night and the last night. So that makes sense, you know. - Are you talking to big BBC spikes? (laughing) - Oh, I'm sure that happened too. I am absolutely sure that happened too. So, all right. Now, this is obviously huge news with Biden getting out of the campaign and endorsing Kamala. So, like I said-- - I'm gonna have to practice calling her Kamala and not Kamala. - Yeah. - Because I see her name written and I am a wrestling fanatic and I grew up the first 20 years of my life seeing that name and saying Kamala followed by the words the Ugandan giant. - Well, you might be right on the pronunciation. I always thought it was Kamala. - No, I think it is Kamala. It's just, I see it and I say Kamala. - Kamala, all right. Well, like I said, you might be right. Regardless-- - No, no, I know it's Kamala. - Okay. - But it's, it's, I just gotta get used to saying it and I'm going to slip because-- - So, who was the first person in the WWE or WWF back then to actually body slam Andre the Giant? It was not Hulk Hogan. It was actually Kamala, the Ugandan giant. - All right, there you go. Now we have our history of wrestling covered. (laughs) And how it connects to the presidency. - Well, it connects because I wanted to give you the, the experience at the audience when Trump was speaking. - All right, that all makes sense to me now. So now we have to think about-- - You shouldn't have to think about what? - Now we have to think about what we got three, four weeks until the Democratic convention. Not a lot of time. And in that period of time, obviously she's going to have to not only vet options for VP, but she's going to have to pick one. Now, I think, and I know everyone's gonna, you know, have their opinion on this, but I think what would be smart, though it won't happen, would be bringing Whitmer on board as her VP. And I don't think that's going to happen because I think Whitmer-- - I don't think about that. - I think Whitmer wants to sit this one out because it could go either way. And she's looking at 2028 or 2032. But what I-- - I do have three names down. - I do two. Well, I've got one that I'm sticking with that I think would be best. - I've got three names and that including my two dark horses. - Okay, give me your three names and then your two dark horses. - All right, number one. In no particular order, I should say. Gavin News. - Not gonna happen. - I think that's, you don't think so? - Nope. - Nope. - Well-- - They're both from California. - Yeah, yeah. I, there's some strategy here in one of my picks, which is number two on my list, Roy Cooper, from North Carolina. - Okay. - He's a Democrat. I think-- - No name recognition. That one even went by me. - Okay, so there's no name recognition in that one, so that ain't fucking happening. - What's he bringing? What's he bringing? He's not bringing the Midwest. - North Carolina, 'cause people love North Carolina. - Great, he brings North Carolina. But that's all he's bringing. - No, but it's part of the South. - Yeah, but again, the name recognition isn't fully there. Secondly-- - I hear you. - Secondly, when you have a Whitmer on the ticket, that buys you the entire Midwest. That buys you-- - Yeah, I have issues with Whitmer. I think there's enough vitriol for Whitmer in Michigan alone. - She's got the highest ratings of a governor in like decades. - Yeah, but there's a lot of people that hate her for some reason. I think she's awesome and kicks ass. - But she's still sitting at like a 60 something percent approval rate, which is ridiculous for a governor, especially one that's in this day and age, dealing with such division and has such a purple state, such a, you know, at this point. I think, I don't think she'll do it though. I don't think she would accept because I think she really is looking at a bid for presidency in the future. Go on with you, third. - My third, Governor Andy Beshear. - I could see that. I could see Beshear. - I thought about Buttigieg, but I think Andy Beshear would be the brighter prospect because he brings Kentucky, again, part of the South. He's won the governorship twice now in usually a red state. I think he brings something to the table. - No, I don't, maybe. I'll give you a maybe on that one, all right? - Who are you three before I go with-- - I'm going really only with one. I'll give you two, but I'm really only leaning towards one and that is Buttigieg. Josh Shapiro, Governor of Pennsylvania, could be potential. - I totally thought about him. - But I think that, and I'm looking at it from the point of view of Shapiro gives you Pennsylvania, obviously, but also gives you Rust Belt, right? Whereas Buttigieg, again, is one of those candidates that I think gives you Midwest in general. I think that it would be a very, very stark contrast to have a black Indian American woman as the candidate on the top of the ticket. And I think that having a military veteran who is gay on the VP part of the ticket, that sends a huge message to all levels of the Democratic Party from center, center left all the way through to fucking crazy kooky left. And the reason is, is because that ticket has never existed. So you have the opportunity not only to put a black Indian, or I'm sorry, a black, is it Indian or Asian? I think it's Asian. Black Asian woman into the presidency, but also a gay married man who's a military veteran. That has never, like, if I was writing this as a script 20 years ago, no one, no one would buy it because they'd say that this whole fucking thing is not believable. Like if I literally took from the moment that Trump in 2015 came down the escalator and I turned that into a movie and condensed the last, you know, eight years, nine years and then looked forward with the final part being how this election plays out. So three count, maybe four, you could say five. Well, if you count midterms, but just doing presidential, three presidential elections, first act, second act, third act, if I wrote exactly what has gone on, I don't think anyone would have bought that script. I think they would have said it was too far-fetched, but yet here we are, and once again, you know, real life is way crazier and weirder than fiction. I mean, this is a historic time to be living. And I think it's kind of amazing because I don't know what the fuck is going on, but man, as a spectator, am I enjoying the drama? - May be the debate. - Yeah, I mean, like literally, it changes hour to hour, like you said. So I'm putting on- - I have any dark horses, people that you think would just be an unusual pick or a sleeper. - No, and I'll tell you why, because I don't think that they want to take any chances in this short period of time of fucking it up. So if you look at Buttigieg, Buttigieg going up against JD Vance in a VP debate, Buttigieg will wipe the floor with JD Vance. JD Vance will come across- - I don't think JD Vance plans on doing any debates. - No, I don't think so either. I don't think he's- - 'Cause he's so weak. - I think he is. - He's got what, 18 months of experience? - Yeah, and honestly, Buttigieg is not shaken by insults. He often finds a way to turn that in a very calm way. - Serious thick skin. - Not as long, look, if you grew up gay and then we were in the military and then went into government, you better have some fucking thick skin. I mean, he ran for that job, he ran for president. - Yeah. - You better have thick skin. So I think- - My dark horses are the, let's upset the apple cart, let's make the Trump administration blow their fucking minds and both of my dark horses are that Trump hears it and his head explodes. He throws ketchup at the wall. He explodes in a dust pile of cheeto dust in Diet Coke. - With sesame seeds. - No lampshade is safe from him. - Sesame seeds. - Sesame seeds from Big Mac buns are literally lodged in the drywall. - Exactly. Just to just piss them off and also send that cold shiver of like, oh shit. - And who do you think that is? - I have two of them. - Okay. - That I think would do that as vice president. The obvious one, Michelle Obama. - Yeah, I agree with you, but she's, I don't think she's getting in, I just don't. - I don't think that, but it would be entertaining. - Well, if she got in it, it won't be for VP. If she gets in, if she goes back to the White House, she's not going for VP. She'll go back to the president. - I think it'll be a good opener for her. - I don't think she wants the opener though, that's my whole point. Like I think, like literally, I think that if she does this, she would only do it to defeat Trump and knowingly, and because everyone is aware that no one else brings that kind of energy. You know, so like to me, again, the perfect ticket is Michelle Obama and Gretchen Whitmer, because that's a lot of feminine energy going up against a lot of toxic male energy. And I think that the way that those two women can take insults and let it affect them and turn it around and literally focus like a laser on what the real issue is, while gently smacking the shit out of you for your bad behavior. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I could see like Michelle Obama, she's old school tough black mama. In the sense of it would not surprise me at all if Sasha got lippy with her and then woke up, opened her eyes, laying sprawled out on the floor and Michelle Obama was looking down on her and go, "Oh honey, you just had a moment of stupidity and decided to say things that weren't appropriate." Oh, come on, let's go and get some hot cocoa, right? Like I could see that. I could see that, I could see her doing that with JD Vance. But she's not going to, yeah, she's just not going for the second banana. If she's got-- On my second dark horse. Yeah. I don't believe I'm saying this 'cause I've had issues with the person, but purely from a just making that administration pissed off, Hillary Clinton. I actually, I thought about that too. And that would not be a bad pick. And it comes with an asterisk. Hillary Clinton, who comes out as the VP candidate and is just dogging JD Vance for a debate, dog him. Every time she's on camera, say, "Why won't you debate me?" I thought about that too, but he-- Dog him. So she would actually be a smart choice logistically, but not politically. Logistically, she's got so much experience as previous Secretary of State, her knowledge of foreign affairs and how Congress works, she would be an asset unlike any other asset out there. However, I think that she wants to be VP either. I think that her ego is too big to be VP. And at that point-- You'd be entertaining. Well, there was even talk, yeah, it would be entertaining. But there was talk that maybe she would be the nominee. All right, there was even talk that she might be the nominee and it would be a rematch then of her in Trump. I don't think that's a good idea either. I think that's a horrible fucking idea. I think that's a horrible idea. I would think it would be an entertaining-- Well, here's the reason why I don't think it'll happen. Here's the reason why-- I don't think it'll happen. Yeah, but here's-- It would be entertaining. It would be entertaining as fuck, are you kidding me? And like I said, what a valuable VP she would be if it weren't for all the baggage she brings with her and historical dislike of her as a person. But what a valuable resource she would be in the VP's office for Kamala. But that would be like taking AOC and putting her as the running mate. That's the quickest way to torpedo your chances of winning. It's not that it's not-- If the Democrats wanted to win, and I don't think this would ever happen, but again, would be entertaining from a moderate crowd losing their fucking minds and losing their cool, but also a sharp talker who knows how to play the game, who knows how to beat just about anyone when it comes to a debate, Barack. He legally could run as a VP. Yeah, I think he could. But it would never happen. It would never happen. And why would he want to be VP? Because he would know even by offering himself up, right? So let's say-- The reason why? The reason why would be to keep Trump out of office. Yeah, but here's the thing. So let's say Kamala is like, I want Barack Obama as my VP. It would be amazing to see him take a step down from, well, historically being called president to be calling, becoming vice president, but the problem with that ticket is then it makes her look weak because everyone would be like, oh, he's really the president, she's not. I don't see that happening. Well, I think it would be a coup in the Democratic party where she could be like, I talked him into it. Yeah, no one's buying that though. I don't think the general public at this point. I think it would be entertaining. I think it would be amazingly entertaining, but I don't think it'll happen because I think that, like these people aren't stupid. They know how things are being perceived, which is why Biden got the pressure to bow out. They knew how everything was being perceived. So when you have Barack Obama saying, I don't want to do this, but you know, Kamala called on me and no, no one's buying that. It comes across as insincere from the get-go, no matter how sincere it is. I am looking at this though in a sense of with these dark horses, like Vince McMahon, what's gonna sell the most tickets? Yeah, I mean, it's gonna sell the most tickets. It's gonna put the most butts in the seats. But that's not gonna win the deal. That's my problem. We're in a time where no matter what side of the fence you're on, right, left, extreme on one, or extreme on the other, or dead center, riding the pole right up your crotch. You still cannot say that you haven't in the last eight years become incredibly cynical when it comes to what's being reported in the news. Now, part of that is because of Trump with all the fake news, it's fake news, it's fake news. But part of it is the actual fucking news being fake. Part of it is the news not doing their job properly because they're now for profit, they're now for click bait, they're now for anything that gets eyeballs on them, no matter how much it takes, even if that means selling their souls to the corporate store. And that's what they've done. They've sold their souls to their fucking corporate sponsors. And when the corporate sponsors call up the executives at Fox or CNN or MSNBC and they say, we don't want that story or we don't like how it's being reported, guess fucking what? It's getting changed. The narrative is being controlled on all cable news by corporations that are on the commercials. You wanna know what the news is? Look at the commercials and I guarantee you if it's a Pfizer sponsored fucking show, there ain't gonna be any bad news about Pfizer. There ain't gonna be any bad news about this drug company or that drug company. That's the problem is ever since we allowed specifically drug companies to advertise. They have such deep pockets that they can literally essentially sponsor an entire news organization. Well, they have political agendas outside of just their company. - Speaking of that, did you see Fauci talking about one? He went against Trump's words during a press conference about COVID-19. He was told by Trump and the administration to see this. I don't remember exactly what it was he was supposed to say or what he did say. - And that's when he saw a favor with Trump. - It did, it is when he fell out of favor. However, they asked him about Trump's words afterwards 'cause he had a meeting immediately after with Trump. - Yeah. - And the entire time Trump was just, look at this. Look at the ratings. - This guy. - Jesus Christ. - It's all he cares about. - It's all he cares about. It's all he cares about. So the reason I look at the potential of running mates, and I do think for a number of reasons, it is gonna be Kamala. And the main reasons are the ease of transferring the war chest over. She's on the ticket now. It's as simple as basically, you know, him-- - He's gonna have to show up to a solid VP. - It's kind of like when I went with dad to the bank and he wanted to put me on the account because he's like, "Sometimes I don't think too clear." You know, like, it's one of those things, you know? And rightfully so. He did it because he knew that somebody had to be responsible if something went wrong, especially, you know what I mean? Like if he ended up in the hospital, somebody's got to make sure the bills are paid. So somebody has to have access to that. That was really smart. And I think that in many ways, it's what Biden kind of came to realize is that he needed to put Kamala on the account and let her take care of the finances. And I think that that's the main reason it's gonna be Kamala. That's the easiest transition. The other aspect of this is you have to vet your VP and you need time to do that. Now, sometimes you're doing full background checks. So sometimes it takes longer. The reason why I'm leaning boo to judge is because all of that shit has been done. And as a cabinet member, he has a working relationship with her. So they already know each other. They already know kind of like how they relate. Now, I don't know what their relationship is. They may have a horrible working relationship and then I'm totally wrong and it'll be somebody else. But it makes the most amount of sense because it gives the most drastic contrast to where the country can go and where the country should go. So, you know, when you look at it, yeah, is it divisive to do that? It is divisive, but are we not in a divisive time? And do we not need to make sure that we get all of the votes that we, I mean, at the end of the day, what is a political party? What's their job? What does it, what does it mean? - My question to you. - Let me just finish real quick. - Okay, go ahead, go ahead. - A political party serves one purpose. That's it, to win. That's all, that's the only reason that you have a Republican party and a Democratic party. They have one job to do, win. So what is it gonna take to win under these very drastically unusual circumstances, not just within the Democratic party, but in the country as a whole. And the country as a whole is divided. - Yeah. - And the only way that you are going to win is to stand by that division in this sense. What are your platform values? If you say you're four inclusive, you know, what is it? DEI, okay? You say you're four of that. Well, I can see that with Kamala. Now, mind you, I'm a little bit upset about Kamala and said I probably wouldn't support it. I will support at this point any Democrat that is on the top of the ticket just to prevent Trump. And I think people would need to realize that. We are stuck in a binary decision. That binary decision is either democracy or Christian nationalism leading into a theocracy or full-blown fascism, okay? I'll take anything the other side has to offer over that. So while I didn't like the fact that apparently she said that it would be a bad look for the Democrats to not nominate the black, you know, Asian VP and blah, blah, blah, woman this. Like she pulled the race card right away and that really pissed me off. I'll still support her though because it's better than the orange Cheetos of what he brings to the table. And that little fucking hobbit JD Vance, that little motherfucker is off the charts crazy at this point. Either that or he is such a master manipulator. And I think that that's probably what it is more than anything is is that he is in power grabbing position. And Trump better keep an eye on him because if Trump doesn't think that JD Vance is looking for that opportunity when, you know, Trump is dozing off to go, "Hey, how does this pillow smell?" You know what I mean? Like, you thought your ear was fucked up. Wait till you see what he does with a pillow to you if given the opportunity. I do believe that JD Vance is power hungry like that though. And you know, obviously not to that extreme, but I do believe that he is definitively power hungry because, you know, I mean, to change his stance so drastically in such a short period of time just seems ridiculous. - I just saw a meme earlier that said January 6 was just an excitable tourist attraction or tour. Then I suppose Saturday was just a near-piers. - Yeah, exactly. (laughing) Well, there's a lot of interesting things being said about that too. Like, there's no way it was a bullet that hit him. It had to be the glass from the fucking teleprompter because in all honesty, as much as I want that to be true, they did show both teleprompters were intact after it happened. - Doesn't he have some safety glass around him though? - I don't think so. - Well, the thing is, is that what I'm seeing online are veterans who have actually been shot in the air. So I'm seeing a lot of pictures of people who actually got shot while in service and had their ears grazed. And I'm sure that there's levels and degrees or whatever, but they all come, basically they all come out looking after they've healed like cauliflower air. - Yeah. - So maybe-- - What? - What? - I can't. - What? - Huh? - Shit. - So like I said, this is really an interesting time because these next three, four weeks until we get to the end of the convention and it's actually been, you know, this is the, this is the president, the nominee, presidential nominee, and this is the VP pick. It's gonna feel like a fucking lifetime and there's gonna be so many things floating around. They were actually saying, I saw that this was floating around. Someone floated the idea that what the Democrats should do is reach out to Mitt Romney and have him run for president to show that we're about saving democracy. It's not about owning each other. It's about saving democracy. So that's how crazy these things are right now. As if Mitt Romney would ever run as a Democrat. I mean, he wouldn't even do that. I don't think, I mean, maybe he would. - You, it used to be that you could have a split ticket. I don't think they've ever changed that, but back in the day, you'd have a Republican and a Democrat running against each other. Whoever lost was actually the VP. - Right. That made more sense too. In many ways, though, I would imagine that I also made harder for shit to get done and I'm sure that the VP at that point, you know, going back to, I forget which VP said it, but he was like, VP position isn't worth a bucket of spit. (laughs) So I would imagine if you're the guy that lost, you're not getting any, any cool assignments. You know, it's not like you're gonna go to the cool, it's like, yeah, they're gonna send you to, you know, the shittiest things that they could possibly send you to, but you're not gonna get anything. Let's put it this way. I doubt that you're gonna get the Hawaii trip. I doubt you're gonna get the Vegas trip. I doubt you're gonna get, you know what I mean? Like, you're not going anywhere cool. You're gonna get Poe Dunk middle of fucking nowhere. You know, for some eight people, and then they're not even happy to see you because it's the other family and the family feud. Yeah, yeah, it's the McCoy's, you know. So, but getting back to potential dark horses, let's use AOC as an example. That would be horrificly stupid for them to do because I would be just them shooting themselves in the foot because AOC is divisive. I don't think Buttigieg is as divisive, and I think that he's so eloquent when he is in those tough positions and so quick and so smart and so measured. Oh, what about Jeffries? Hakeem Jeffries, see, this is the thing, is I look at AOC and Hakeem Jeffries the same way, in this sense. Hakeem Jeffries really was at Nancy Pelosi's elbow for a very long time, trying to understand and learn the job, you know, like he paid attention. Whether that was, you know, because Nancy, you know, took him under her wing, I don't know what the details were or what their relationship was, but I do know that he was very, very focused on trying to get minority leader or speaker of the house, right? And I know that he learned a lot from Nancy Pelosi and still learns from Nancy Pelosi. I think AOC wants to eventually become Nancy Pelosi's replacement. So I think she's focused on Congress. I think he's focused on, you know, being the speaker or the minority leader. I think he wants to run the Democrats and I think she's just waiting her turn. I think she's the next in line, but I think she wants to kind of be the one that hurts the cats, like knows how to count the votes, like Nancy. I think, I think Hakeem is the guy that knows how to count the votes, but I could see AOC in the sense of the problem with AOC is she's become kind of the bomb thrower for the Democrats lately, much like Marjorie Taylor Greene. So she's lost a little bit in that step because she's been going up against and fighting these, you know, mega fools. And I think she's lost a little bit in that, but I think she's trying to learn, you know, from Pelosi's experiences in the past, how to do that in a better way. - So not to change the subject, but have you heard what Trump said about Musk? - No, but I thought you were going to change it to, like, what did you have for dinner? - No. - He said we have to make life good for people like Musk and other smart people. - Yeah, but he also said that he went on a rant at, I saw the second hand, but he went on a rant about electric vehicles. It's like, you just had the number one electric vehicle guy pledge millions of dollars, hundreds of millions. Well, it was a 180 million or something. He's pledged to him, like, it's like 45 million dollars a month until the election or some shit. So why would you say that about electric vehicles? You know, maybe just shut the fuck up on that one. And that was the problem with his speech. There were so many times, it was like, this is an unforced error you're putting in the speech here. Why not just shut the fuck up? Why not just accept the nomination, do a 45 minute, maybe an hour speech, but try to keep it to 45, skip the grievance tour, skip the, you know, all the bullshit, hit the main points. We're gonna take on, you know, immigration. We're gonna take on the tax code. We're gonna, you know, take on the wars that are going on in this country or in the world. We're gonna end those, you know, like work the positive. You've already won all of the goodwill just by getting shot. Like, yeah, why, why, why, why? Why keep fucking talking? That was just-- - Let me grab my shoes out of my hair, look. - You know what I mean? Like, if I was on the Trump team, I would have been pulling my fucking hair out. Like, shut the fuck up, Donald. What are you doing? You're literally blowing all the good-- - I'm sure this can come with that all the time. - You're literally blowing all the goodwill. Just keep it short, you can hit all the good, you know, it's like, after years of doing standup, one of the things that I realized was it's not always good to go long. There's a moment where you know you need to get off stage and you need to take that moment and exit leaving them wanting more. Exactly, right? You gotta do the tap dance. You gotta gracefully exit. Otherwise, the hook is coming and it's gonna pull you off and the hook, unfortunately, in this case, is the voters and man, it was, that speech he gave was so rambling and off the hook, stupid, and doing it the whole time with that fucking diaper on his ear. And then look, the first night of the convention, when he came out and everyone was raising their fist going, fight, fight, fight, what did that look like to you? I'll tell you what it looked like to me. - Yeah. - It looked like 1939 Germany, 1938 Germany. - It looked like Madison Square Garden in 1939. - Yeah, 'cause there were Nazi rallies in the US. - In the US, for the people who don't know. - So they are not just dog whistling. A lot of times they've gotten to the point where they're pretty brazen about it. Now they're just saying the shit. Now they're just making, you know, the same people who wouldn't wear a mask, putting a fucking little diaper on their ear so they can honor the dear leader, Jesus Christ. - My favorite was the guy who, he was mocking obviously, but he had a coffee filter on his ear. - Yeah. (laughing) I saw a guy, a video of a guy. It started off with a little bandage that looked exactly like Trump's and then he went to a maxi pad, then he went to an actual diaper, then he went to a shoe. Then, you know, I think he might've had a coffee filter at one point, but then he had a shoe and then he had like his actual pillow from his back. Like he just kept going and going and going and got more and more ridiculous. But that's how ridiculous it is. And when you look out at that audience, these same people that call Democrats sheeple. And yet they're all wearing the little MAGA hat, the Trump member, you know, paraphernalia. And then you're watching them, literally taping this to each other's ears. Like there's video of these guys doing this. - Yeah. - Taping it to each other's ears. - But there's a little station, like you're not getting your face painted. - Right. - You're getting the diaper in your ear. - You're getting your ear diaper. This is the competition. It, look, if it is Kamala and it is-- - I'm waiting for when they start surgically removing part of the ear, the show of support. - Yeah. - That's the next step. - Or just remove the ear totally. You know, like I am super, super behind you, sir. I'm so behind you, I didn't just have the tip cut off. I took the whole fucking ear, sir. And he said that to me with tears in his eyes. - You know. - And he wanted more than the tip. (laughing) - So I think what it boils down to is-- - Probably on their grinder profile. More than the tip. - It, I think what it boils down to. Sorry, that caught me, that caught me off guard. (laughing) What it kind of boils down to in my opinion is, whether you like Kamala or you don't, she's most likely gonna be the nominee. Now it's a matter of who makes the most sense. And I think Buddha Judge does, because like I said, he's a military veteran. He's incredibly articulate. He's incredibly intelligent. He speaks, I think, like seven languages. And he's a gay man, married. - I would have children. - And have children with Buddha Judge. - I would not either. I think he's a very, very smart dude. But what does he bring to the ticket aside from that? You know what I mean? Could he be a bulldog as far as a VP? Absolutely, because he does it so nicely. And so articulately. And sometimes the person that he's insulting doesn't even know that they're being insulted, because he's so articulate. However, and I like Buddha Judge because of all those things, by the way. I like him because he can do that. - If it is, Buddha Judge, he's got to come out and start challenging Vance. - Oh, that's the thing is, I don't think he would have a problem. I don't think anyone would have to tell him that. I think he would, as soon as he was nom, I think as soon as he was picked, the very first thing is, I'd like to thank Kamala Harris for picking me as a VP. And JD, when are we going to debate? - Yeah. - I think, I don't think he needs any prompting for that. And I think he would be a motherfucker on that stage. - But, do you think Trump will be willing to debate Harris? - I don't think he will. I don't think he will because-- - I'm on the same page. I think he will check and check it out. - I think so too. And I think he'll say, well, she's not really the nominee because that's not who the Democrats picked in the primary. So if I'm not going up against Joe, I'm not debating this bitch. You know what I mean? I could totally see that being the rationale, but the real reason would be because he knew he would know it would be an opportunity for him to look really bad because she's way sharper than he is, especially when it comes to debating. You don't have her history as a litigator. - As a litigator, and then being a VP. You don't get to that position without being somebody who is wicked smart. Though, we've seen that with Trump getting to that position and we saw it with Pence and neither one of those two are what I would refer to as wicked smart. But in the debate, I think she'd wipe the floor with him. It's my point. And I think Buttigieg would wipe the floor with JD Vance. The reason why I hesitate with Buttigieg, and this is the only reason, and I don't think it's a really good reason if I'm perfectly honest, is we have to be careful that the ticket doesn't look like all the things that they say about Democrats. So what I mean by that is you can't have Kamala, who they're already saying is basically DEI choice. And then Buttigieg, which ticks all of the gender, pronoun, LGBTQ aspects, right? And that potentially could give them an opening to go. Well, look, if you want to know where the country's going, look at what they're putting in front of each, want to know where they want to take you, look at who they are, that could be a problem. But I don't think it's a big enough problem that outweighs the benefit of showing the contrast between the candidates. I don't think that, I think actually people might find it refreshing and find it like, okay. You know, if you're in the LGBTQ community and you can't get behind a Harris Buttigieg ticket, I don't know what ticket you're getting behind. - What they need to do is bring Buttigieg out and really hit hard that he was military army. - Yeah, but you know, all right. So do you think that that would stop Trump who said about an after I'm playing kind of his name, ran for president against Obama? - Don McCain? - Yeah, thank you. Sorry, it was totally blanking, yeah. McCain, this is a guy who said, I like my heroes not captured. So do you think-- - Yes, but I mean, Vance has got, you know-- - Vance has got military background too. - I'm talking play to the military card. - Well, that's what Vance is, because Vance was in the military. - Yeah, it's not real military. - Was he a-- - Sulfation army? - He was a Marine Corps, but he was a combat correspondent. - Oh. - Yeah. - Okay, so he was a news guy in the-- - So he-- - He just talked about the actual fighting. Like, oh, did you see that? - Well-- - Oh, look at that, did you see that? That looked real tough from over here. - But-- - Behind my notepad. He still has discharge papers that say that he was in, okay? And it wouldn't matter if he-- - But it's not the same. - Yeah, you know, I agree with you, but it really wouldn't matter. As an example, you see Trump saying that he's pro-labor, but when Biden was on the picket line with the UAW, he was at an event where, yeah, it was labor, but it was not union. - Hey, speaking of that, how did you feel with the UAW president? - I think that guy's gonna be-- - I think that guy's gonna be lucky to have that position much longer. - Yeah, I read a flod of UAW members. - They were pissed. - They were pissed. - The verbally bitch flapping that dude was basically, you about to, you lose your job. - Yeah, the UAW members were infuriated, at least from what I saw. Now, yeah, is there more out there that I didn't see that maybe took his position? I'm sure there are plenty of those, but the vast majority of what I saw was like, are you fucking kidding me? You're gonna go and talk there when this motherfucker showed up on the picket line, first president in history to do so. Like, what are you doing? You know these guys are anti-labor. - You know it, you know it, you cannot not know it. And if you don't, then you don't deserve that position in the first place. So I don't know what that guy was thinking. I don't know what he was thinking, but I think he's gonna realize I shouldn't have thought that because now I'm out of a job. - Also, since the RNC, Donald Trump brought out his Gulf Pro. - What the fuck was that? Yeah, like I said earlier, what the fuck was that? - Should the DNC, should Kamala bring out like maybe a dance instructor and just find it and just feel like, I'm here to speak 'cause they had a Gulf Pro. Why should you listen to me? I don't know, I'm just a dancer. - Yeah, I mean, it was. - And just clown it, clown it. - You know, like I'm Kamala's hairdresser. I'm gonna tell you some stuff. - Exactly, like that's how you take the wind out of someone like Donald Trump's sale. - Well, the clown, he hates being made fun of. - The funny thing is, is if they did it with like, you know, let's say for example, Sarah Silverman came out and pretended to be like, you know, you have. Like you have to have, you know, like, you know, a Jeanine Grafalo, Sarah Silverman, you know, like. - Yes. - Come out and play those as parts, you know, definitively just mocking Trump, you know what I mean? I'd like to see, I'd like to actually, I'd like to see them bring Eminem to the convention because he fucking hates Trump first off. And not much love for Kid Rock, I'm thinking, between the two of them. - I could be wrong, maybe they're friendly. - Correct. - As far as I've always known, not fans of each other. So I think it would actually be awesome if Eminem was the musical guest like Kid Rock was and just totally tears them all up, including Kid Rock, including Hulk Hogan, including JD Vance and Trump. I think, you know what they do second? They should do is the RNC had Hulk Hogan instead, bring out Bill Burr as a fake wrestler. - Yeah. (laughing) - With the fake muscles and all that shit. - Yes. - Yeah. - And just screaming his head off. Just, can you believe this? This is black, black, black, black, black. (laughing) - Challenge Hulk Hogan to a fight. - Yeah. That would be awesome. - It'd be like, unlike you, I can tear my shirt off. (laughing) - That would be awesome. Or if you had, actually it would be funnier if you had John Stewart play that part in the muscles. - That would be much better. - Yeah, that would be the way to go. - All right. So look, I think that we're all still kind of reeling from the news, even though we kind of saw it coming. I was very, very, I was very confident that we were gonna hear something before the weekend was over, but I was expecting to be wrong. And I gotta be honest with you, I was a little bit shocked and surprised and felt the hit of it, like, oh shit. Okay, now this is reality. Now what? And where do we go from here? And what are our options? And, you know, what's the DNC gonna do? And how are they gonna work around? You know, the short timeline. So there's a lot left to be figured out. There's a lot left to be discovered. It's not a done deal that Kamala's the nominee, but I think that they're all gonna respect Joe Biden's endorsement. And they're gonna respect his endorsement because of the fact that they know that he did not wanna go, but made the choice for party and country over having power. Yeah, ultimately, he chose putting the country over himself. Yeah, there was something that happened where he recognized, you know, 'cause he's a seasoned politician. So something came across to his desk that made him realize, okay, I can't win this one. And I need to pass the torch. And you know what, I, for as uncertain as I am about what the future will hold, I have high respect for the fact that he did the right thing. I really do believe he did the right thing. I think he did the patriotic thing. I think he did what was best not only for party, but also for country. And hopefully with that, we will get a win in November. And with that, that's it. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) [MUSIC PLAYING]
