Prepare yourself for: Native American bad guys, pizza perfume, found footage films, TNG maniskirts, and Coffin.
Find the full show notes at http://flashpulp.com
The Skinner Co. Network
FC76 - Ten Foot Jesus
Some days, gloomy, my hours are slumberless Dearest, the shadows I live with by nonetheless Little white flowers will never awaken you Not where the bright coach of sorrow has taken you Angels have no fire ever returning you Or they'll be angry if I sort of join in you Ooooh, Sunday Hello, and welcome to Flashcast76, a Skinner Co presentation Skinner Co, it's where the pants meet the floor This episode is also brought to you by generous donations from Juju Click, The Rev P, Scott Roche, Gigantor, and Colorado Joe Many thanks If you'd like to sponsor an episode, please feel free to use the donate button on the site But now, prepare yourself for Native American Bad Guys, Pizza Perfume, Fan Footage Films, TNG Many Skirts, and Coffin Death is no dream for, and death I'm caressing you With the strength of my soul, I'll be blessing you Hi, I'm Opopinax, and joining me in my hunt for the one-armed man are Jessica May Hello, and Ade, Ade, how many fingers do you have? How many do you need? If you could smell like anything, anything in the world, what would it be? Only cut grass, or cotton? Clean cotton? I can see that fresh cotton. The grass thing, it's never been my. I thought about rain, or maybe even winter, you know how winter has a smell? Yeah, winter might be my choice. Yeah, or fall, those are all very lovely smells. Jessica May? Oh, coconut, like fresh coconut. Did you guys see this article I have in the notes? And now there's a perfume that will allow you to smell like pizza hut. What? Like, okay, the inside of pizza hut, not pizza, but inside pizza hut? Well, I suppose it'd be sort of the... The melange? Yeah. I assume it's pretty pizza-heavy, but yeah, there's probably a little desperation. There's a little, like, family turmoil, a little falling apart in your insides. We were at a pizza joint tonight, and I'm like, man, I love this place, it sort of smells like, you know, gasoline and spaghetti sauce, I don't know, it's just this mixture that's pizza parlor. I don't know if anybody else knows that smell, but it's delicious. Apparently, some people do, and they want it in perfume. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of the situations that had originally been posted almost as a hoax, but as a theoretical to a design company's Facebook page, or sorry, no, an ad company's Facebook page, and the idea took off. They were like, "If we could have the smell of the inside of a box of a pizza hut pizza, would you want it?" The inside of a box? Not even the inside of it? Yeah, apparently it really does smell good. So it's got that cardboardy smell? Very much like pizza. No, it's just pizza. Yeah, pizza. Oh, do pizza. If you really want to make it a complete thing, you can, you know, dab a little coke under your... Yeah. Under your chin or whatever, on your neck. You mean the drug, right? Yeah. I think that's how that's done. Yeah. Yeah. No. ♪ Ballplayer press ♪ Happy New Year, everybody. Yes, happiest of... Happy New Year monsters. Happy New Year monsters. Happy New Year monsters. And belated happy holidays. I have never slept through New Year's, or like I have, but I was a child. Quite you. But yeah, I went to about at 10. Yeah. I was not feeling well. There was quite a raging, stolen inside Skinner go. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you know. A viral blizzard. Mm-hmm. It was horrific. It was horrific, but it's over now. And the holiday is now over, tonight is our last night. Oh, yes. The children return to school tomorrow, we're recording us on a Sunday. Mm-hmm. That's right. Of course. But we'll always have the memories of all that vomit. Yeah, Jordan and I have already been back at work, so our holiday is kind of over. Yeah. The love still lasts. For all of us. For all of us. For all of us. Although we were heavily couch bound, we did manage to get through quite a few films. I believe because we were a couch bound. Yes. Fair. Probably. Just let's run over these quickly chronological order. Let's run them over. Yeah. Wreck three. Wreck three. Which was interesting, because it was the Spanish version of the quarantine franchise, which we've been discussing over the last few episodes. And it was the one that had decided to go in a very religious direction last time. Mm-hmm. But it was also the one that had thought to keep the found footage aspect. Which this one did not. It started to. It started off the first half, maybe third of the film, is done in the, you know, somebody's filming a wedding, and the wedding is falling apart. Which is kind of a fun premise. Yes. But they just gave up the third in and decided to go with Hollywood style standard cameras. Yeah. It really was too bad, because I really enjoyed the cameramen. I found their dynamic very interesting. Like one was seasoned and the other guy was just some like newbie guy. And you know, they did team up and they were helpful together, but. And the weird part is, as it moved into the Hollywood style. It's just why would we have the camera guys? We set that all up and then. And then just throw them away. The weird thing to me was that although it moved into the Hollywood style, and as it did so, it became increasingly cheesy. Like the acting became more and more about the main, the people who were getting married essentially. And it became more and more unrealistic and sort of Spanish comedy-esque. Which is not my favorite thing in the world. Especially in my horror movies. My gritty supposed to be first person, you know, realistic horror films, suddenly turn into a guy wandering around in a suited armor. Yeah. And the pride. The pride. The pride. The pride. Yeah. Princess Vespa. That was, she has a total Princess Vespa moment where she kind of freaks out and oh she's just going to kick ass and. Yeah. Like I did fear those zombies and he knew every time they went back to do like the loyal thing that one of them wasn't going to come back. There were some really, really awesome things. It was just, it felt a little odd. It started off pretty strong and ended kind of almost closer to Bollywood than Hollywood. Which is too bad because honestly there would be so much pound footage at a wedding. Like that was the perfect opportunity everybody has their phones. Yeah. They could have, you know, anyways, somebody should have talked to us first before they did this. Yeah, clearly. Their ideas are much better than theirs. Okay. Now keep that in mind. Let's move to the next one we saw. The fourth kind. Oh. Okay. I don't know why they did this but they had this like reenactment and then actual footage. With Mila. They put side by side. Yeah. It was like a split screen. You could see like the real footage of this, this woman and then Mila Jovovich on the other side. Same thing. Yeah. Which, you know, is kind of ridiculous but the worst worst worst worst worst worst worst worst worst thing ever in a movie ever and it also happens to be in this movie is that frigging actress who was the actual footage lady. Oh yeah. The actual. Just the worst. Like these huge eyes and like maybe those eyes were digitally high. I think they were trying to evoke sort of a gray look. But she was obviously chosen for her physical appearance, which was creepy in itself. She could not act. She could have laid off. And they just kept giving her longer and longer scenes. Yeah. They should have laid off like well and she was great for the audio like when they were you could see Mila doing the thing but they could hear the actual footage lady and that was cool because it was like kind of scratchy and she was you know, she was very descriptive with how she she spoke and it was really good. And because there was all that drama it really added to it but seeing her for these long periods of time and her lip is quivering but there's no eye watering and it's just so extreme and she starts talking almost like a baby and my feeling was that they spent some money on the actors but not a whole lot. And then they had no budget left for special effects. So they had this actual footage idea footage aspect so that they could because the other thing the thing that really made this a terrible movie to me was that instead of special effects they came up with this idea where when anything would happen of sort of a supernatural or alien nature because it was kind of implied that it was always aliens. But also this weird supernatural aspect they would just start like fuzzing the camera. It would basically go to noise. So you could sort in the actual footage you could sort of see what's going on which was okay because they would use these techniques that if you're looking at it too long it wouldn't be creepy. Yeah but very be kind of techniques but it was good but they would cover it but this. But then they would have the side by side and Mila's screen would be black and that's you would get that's what you would get for like three minutes while you're watching the flickering on the one there would be black screen on the other but it's worth noting though that when they would use those BFX they would start the effect you would see like someone begin to levitate or something to that effect and then it would be you know ten or thirty seconds of just grainy nothingness and then it would return to oh everything's fine and then you would get back to Mila and the people who were paid to do this. And the implications of like the flashes of what you could see was creepy. But it never it never yeah it worked it worked like thirty percent it was a great idea it could have worked but it did not work. Everything in the film was shot through a blue gel oh it became a joke so the blue filtered it was it was like watching a episode of CSI New York Media was terrible. We checked our settings on the TV anyways yeah um okay so definitely I would definitely watch this for the for the camp ridiculous factor but not as like a series I want to sit down and watch something creepy movie. I would never yeah yeah to watch a terrible film but it's not even that it's not so terrible as to be fun it's just not enjoyable it's very sloggy anyhow the third film that we watched also the found photo genre which was sort of odd chronicle which if you do not recall was three youth who locate superpowers in a mineshaft yeah oh man that was so neat how they discovered it the way this movie started off I really wasn't sure I was gonna like it because the the character that was doing all the filming and stuff really kind of bugged me I thought he was like the typical emo kid right and I really didn't like it but it did did get interesting and I was plot development there was also the fact that we basically went from fourth kind to chronicle back to back and having the double found footage aspect was a little bit we're using worrying just not not being sure how it was going to pan out but I felt like they did a great job of how they handled it they did it's so good there are places where the effects look a little budget but it's rare most of them were handled fairly well fortunately they were able to do a couple of little tricks with the whole found footage aspect like the kid that was the cameraman was able to levitate the camera so he could get shots where he was in it yeah it was done a little bit better but there was a I would say whereas the last one whereas fourth kind tried to use cleverness to cover up the lack of budget this one actually achieved that using cleverness to cover a budget but also give you a good show yeah what I found very distracting was when they were floating you can tell so easily that they you know that they were there were some obvious wire shots oh yeah oh that drove me nuts because they did such like innovative shots that it's like this simple freaking thing you can't you know yeah if they've been able to get that right yeah yeah and I also sorry I just because a really unique story I did find that the one female character in the movie though was kind of superfluous there was really no purpose to her yeah and she was kind of just thrown in there to be sort of a maybe romantic interest for one of the boys and she had like no important dialogue she had no like a lone screen time there was no plot development around her all and that was a little disappointing I liked how the plot went but it would have been interesting to have at least one girl in the mix to transfer who had superpowers as well yeah well that would have been interesting but even somebody who had any kind of agency you know yeah yeah understood understood so I think it fails on the best that tells back to else absolutely well well films do unfortunately yes we did actually see two more films one was just Jamie and I the fields do you remember that oh yes or a sledgeman terror read so amazing glorious leechman in this movie I oh god to play her part would be so much fun she did such an amazing job she plays she sold me on this whole movie it could have been just her terror read and her husband are having difficulties and they essentially abandoned their child on their on her parents cornfield no no it's like their grandparents are there and they're coming to visit with the grandparents and the they occasionally come by and visit but it's mostly about this kid and his grandparents yeah like they're having a the parents are having a rocky relationship so they want to work on the relationship which they're not really doing so much so they just come visit so it's basically him and his grandma and his papier whatever he calls him and they have a cornfield which is mostly abandoned but I don't think corn is an annual crop I think you need to replant so that's kind of whatever but he ends up running into the cornfield and seeing all sorts of but they always tell him don't go into the cornfield and he doesn't really tell them what they what he sees ever but it's always something ridiculously different and there's something menacing always lurking but it's it's well shot and it pulls together pretty well by the end it sounds like something I should watch oh it was so good dude like there's a little weaknesses but honestly like that was pretty good terra read terra read tries very hard to derail the film but she tries hard but but it was good I was a quality film I mean it was a quality Netflix film if you're just digging around on Netflix yeah it's totally watchable Clarice Lee turn plays this great crass granny she just does the whole cuss and grandma thing excellently she she kind of nicer bunny as a grandma and yeah at first even the people who are like around the children like immediately the grandparents and stuff they seem a little creepy at first like you don't know how to take anyone and you slowly gain and and like not gain their trust but you start trusting them as they're like in their protective roles over the film does a pretty good job of presenting it from a from the kids perspective so that the world seems a little bit menacing and everything seems a little weird yeah it's like that Robert Mitchum movie yeah a little bit night of the hunter there's a little bit of that fairy tale feeling to it yeah and those strong grandparents hmm yeah you know what else you know what it was a different sort of nightmare the room oh my gosh I don't know why this got picked it's like I picked it I feel like I watched porn with everybody in that hangout now there is an uncomfortable I kind of forgot how much nudity or semi nudity there isn't that and no and sex there is there's a lot of thrusting there was a lot of thrusting but but that did lead to quite a bit of hilarious comment guys it's honestly the worst movie ever it is seriously the worst movie I don't want to talk about it but like in the best way like the lead actor was also the director was also the producer it was yeah later that's my future wife you're talking to but it's every line he delivers is so effing bad so bad so bad and you don't know why it's called the room like never if anyone figures out why they called it the room I will give you five dollars well we it was one of those films that devolves into you picking through the IMDB trivia before the credits have ruled and one of the things that I noted was that Tommy what's his name now Tommy was over whatever claimed that it was called the room because it was a safe place you could go while you were watching it or something it was oh my god oh my god like his delivery is just like no one would ever deliver a line like that ever so to see it happen and and there's just so many like what the fuck moments and they're so close together that everyone was just like I can't believe I'm seeing this I can't believe but I can't believe it yeah so yeah please so join us next time for movie night cuz yeah cuz we're gonna watch them soft core porn yeah right barely listen I didn't remember there was that much nudity but it wasn't that bad and the mob laughed through it and it worked out okay oh yeah it was marvelous like we had a wonderful time yeah I think we at one point had like 10 people sitting down furiously mocking it at once yes like there was a lot to yeah there was a lot to have fun about it wasn't just like a really boring film with somebody listing off chilly ingredients it was you know really funny shit was happening very quickly well I mean it wasn't supposed to be no not at all but it really was it works it really worked alright let's move from things we have seen to things we may or may not see Timothy Oliphant has joined a horror western called Bone Tomahawk in which he has to bone a Tomahawk sounds painful he'll be joining Kurt Russell Peter Sarsgaard and Richard Jenkins to you know you get the occasional spooky western I'm thinking sort of ravenous you have loved that maybe Jonah hex the comics not so much the movie the movie was not good they go and deal with a gang of cannibalistic cave dwellers that live outside the borders of established civilization now to me and I'm sure everything is just gonna be fine yeah it's interesting it's interesting to me because it seems like in the last year or to pop culture has taken much more notice of Native American issues in a not sort of way and we see things like the Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp's I haven't seen it yet I don't know you know it may be fantastic but he's he's obviously made some choices in how he's doing Tonto you with me yeah so now we have this film bone Tomahawk and it's your standard gritty western horror kind of thing and they're doing the savages but it sounds like they're trying to avoid obviously being like Native Americans or savages so they're going with some weird cannibal cave dwelling something really like off the yeah but I feel like ravenous was of the same mold ravenous although not obviously a western has a lot in common yeah and they talk about the win to go yeah but at the same time it's trying to avoid you know it's not saying natives are the bad guys but they're at the same time kind of implying some of these well no not really in ravenous because the whole idea with ravenous is that it's like a Native American demon right well no rather a demon they it's not that the thing about ravenous is not so much that there's any one person possessed by the demon that's making them eat each other it's more that they realize that they can essentially become like immortal powerhouses if they eat each other and that is too much temptation so they start eating each other it's not that they're you know it's not like they're possessed necessarily it's that they're greedy good point but anyhow my point is that we're trying it's interesting to see them trying to still create these western stories where one of the major struts was sort of this racist concept of going out there and shooting the natives and now they're trying to find a way to maintain that that trope without yeah threatening and I mean I'm hoping from this description that bone tomahawk isn't you know let's go shoot the crazy natives that's gonna be anyhow they'll be crazy cave dwelling natives yeah and you know who's to say they're crazy maybe they're just that's just their culture maybe it tastes like chicken cannibalism is not the craziest thing out there culture wise yeah I mean we've gone into that a little bit in the coffin stories exactly but at the same time there is aggressively eating other people is probably always going to be a bit of a no-no that doesn't make them crazy it just means they have a different it just makes them hungry that's right speaking of evenings with the mob actually we've got another game night coming up on the twelfth we do indeed quite excited for that we've actually so excited we've recently purchased some mini figs although we are we obviously can't use them but trying to get jammy the full experience yeah we need to paint them mm-hmm yeah we just need to get a popes instill yeah we're hoping to have a couple of new players too and Jessica may how's the shrinking mob going I'm not shrinking right now guys are you gonna get back on the thread in the concept come Monday this is end of well that in my computer died again hmm yeah so that's a little difficult but I am getting back to shrinking tomorrow not to say I'm adding I'm just not shrinking well it's the Christmas holidays I may or may not have expanded a little hmm hmm but yeah I'll get back to shrinking and when my computer works again you'll all know about it yeah yeah we were also this month extremely lucky because we had a little time off to have doc blue and rich tell us some oh yeah the guest episodes yeah they're great 15 and 14 doc has real presents do not open until crop was knocked I totally mispronounced that and the time travelers a flash bulb Christmas which was a lot of fun actually they're both incredibly fun yes hmm yes but thank you so much to have riches like sing songy rhyme old timey oh man so it's like baseball but it's awesome we should oh it was to me it was a lot of fun to have the Corley's outside of the arc that they were absolutely to see that universe continue to have some life and it was fun anyways thank you so much extra content is a huge help huge thanks gentlemen it's nice to take a week off every now and again speaking of generosity from mobsters we've been very lucky with donations thank you hugely appreciated out there mm-hmm our administration or administrative costs will be covered for quite a while for a while now yes which is very nice yeah we're going to need some new stickers soon so I got to figure that out mm-hmm we're running out and we have some to send out mm-hmm are you on that a pope yeah yeah you sent them out no but I'm on it okay so if you're looking for stickers and you're like all these caption contents have gone by and I don't have any you can send your angry emails to opopinax at skinner.fm well and I went back all the way to like August so I think I figured out who we need to get it to and with if you don't get it within a week or two from this uh yeah send your hate mail yeah mm-hmm giving a little back actually mobster Vlad Peters has a web series he's trying to get off the ground called van noise dude is funny yeah he's been in some caption contests and hanging out I really enjoy he's got a pilot up if you go to the Kickstarter I'll put the link in the show notes flashpope.com go check it out yeah van noise 2013 the web series if you really want to Google it I know I'm van VAN noise and UYS I guess it's named after the place in California it's a low budget bit of hilarity and I quite enjoyed the opener so I would love to see him make his backing I know time is short so if you got a few extra bucks mm-hmm throw it in now before it's your baby needs back speaking a Kickstarter actually and leading into maybe our final comments before we get to Mr. Lynch Star Trek Renegades you guys hear about this? Star Trek Renegades no so Star Trek Renegades Kickstarter project it's actually already over but I think you can still go throw money at them for their stretch goals and what they're doing is they're essentially throwing together as much of the Voyager and that era casting from Star Trek as possible so they're gonna have the the Vulcan fellow I'm sorry Tuvok I don't recall his actual name they're gonna have Walter Cohen check off okay oh but as an old sort of admiral fellow you know in the way that we enjoyed that bones interjection from the first episode they're going to have the doctor guy Robert Piccardo okay and the fellow who played the neurotic guy sorry I hate Voyager so it's sort of whatever but neurotic guy who ran the kitchen and the guy oh that guy all right anyway and of everything yes and a number of other notables anyhow and they're going to attempt to pitch a new Star Trek show to CBS and if it doesn't work out they're just going to release the film and essentially for no profit just based on the Kickstarter donations so it's interesting it seems like they are all these are all these actors allowed to get together and just be like we're doing a Star Trek without getting the rights to them my impression is that the people who are pitching it are well known in the fan community for making fan movies already okay so they've got a certain amount of production knowledge to begin with okay and they may I don't know if they've gotten special dispensation from whoever owns the franchise at this point Rick Baker or whoever but my guess is that that's probably you know they probably know that they're going to get their royalties anyway so they don't care it's probably built into the cost of the production I don't think I'd watch it that's interesting yeah I don't know I'm just glad to see I mean taking taking people from Voyager really yeah I know but they're cheaper that I guess yeah I mean but we have been watching a lot of TNG lately which is infinitely better especially the outfits oh yeah oh my gosh oh we went through the first episode that mentioned the Picard maneuver and it wasn't even like they pulled down a shirt yeah the Picard maneuver it was so great I thought it was very odd that Wesley was on the bridge as Ensign and no one said anything yeah we never really it was they had really terrible excuses for five or six episodes for him just showing up for no reason and then it was there was one episode where they're all kind of just like let's let Wesley sit in this chair over here and then the next time he shows up they're like we made him an ensign yeah okay which is great but having having that would and immediately gets assigned to the bridge yeah and okay and then they bring them on a planet that's all about doing the business that was interesting that was ugly they bring Wesley down to the pleasure planet where he's totally over his head what but then immediately manages to get himself well I'm sure everyone's familiar with the episode where he breaks them yeah don't step on the grid yeah breaks along is ordered to be killed yeah and then he died and that was the end of Wesley Crusher the end uh I find actually lusty are so far the most disconcerting weird yeah don't remember her being so horny after every episode she's constantly either angry or horny or horny and angry at the same time we did dig up this bit of tng trivia out of the i don't know if this was IMDB oh I think it's actually Wikipedia this is regarding yar inspired by the character of Vasquez and aliens the character was originally intended to be named matcha Hernandez the producers considered Jeanette Goldstein who had played Vasquez for the role but Dorothy Fontana pointed out that that the actress is not Latina she's petite blue eyed freckle faced and marina surtis was cast as yar which is interesting because she was Troy right at that time Denise Crosby was cast as Deanna Troy but she and surtis switched roles before production began switched roles which is really interesting i can't see i can't see uh marina surtis yelling her way through every scene can you imagine like tasha yar as Deanna Troy that'd be so weird she'd punch people for their thoughts yeah exactly don't make me read your mind yeah well on the bothersomeness of lusty are let us move into the work of mr lynch spotter bother i'd like to start by saying that i love Thai food there's something about that distinctive blend of spices and ingredients that's both exotic and playful on the tongue and i know you like playful on the tongue my favorite dish is Thai spiced curry with duck i've posted the recipe on today's podcast page at bothersomethings.com however after you hear the story that i have for you today the words Thai and duck will have an entirely new meaning about once per decade the medical profession takes a careful look back at Thailand's plethora of penile amputations the first reckoning appeared in a 1983 issue of the american general of surgery the article was entitled surgical management of an epidemic of penile amputations in siam written by kasian bonganda and four fellow physicians at sariaj hospital in bangcock it introduces the subject it became fashionable in the decade after 1970 for the humiliated Thai wife to wait until her philandering husband fell asleep so that she could quickly sever his penis with a kitchen knife a traditional Thai home is elevated on pilings and the windows are open to allow for ventilation the area under the house is the home of the family pigs chickens and ducks thus it is quite usual that an amputated penis is tossed out of an open window where it may be captured and eaten by a duck the report explains for readers in other countries the Thai saying i better get home or the ducks will have something to eat is therefore a common joke and immediately understood at all levels of society the bulk of the paper reports how the doctors and their colleagues learned over the course of attempting 18 reimplantations how to improve the necessary surgical techniques interestingly the physicians remark at the very end none of our patients filed a criminal complaint against their attackers an article called factors associated with penile amputation in Thailand published in 1998 and the journal nursing connections explores the reasons behind that Gregory Bechtel and Cecilia Tiller from the medical college of Georgia in Atlanta gathered data from three couples who had been part of the epidemic the couples by then divorced discussed their experience calmly Bechtel and Tiller report that in each case three things had happened during the week prior to dismemberment number one a financial crisis number two ingestion of drugs or alcohol by the husband immediately prior to the event and three public humiliation of the wife owing to the presence of a second wife or cubine in 2008 the journal of urology carried a retrospective by doctors Genoa Ferguson and Stephen Brandes of the Washington University in st. Louis called the epidemic of penile amputation in Thailand in the 1970s Ferguson and Brandes conclude that women publicly encouraging and inciting other scorned women to commit this act worsened the epidemic the first majority of worldwide reports of penile replantation to this day are a result of why became a trendy form of retribution in a country in which fidelity is a strongly appreciated value so just remember guys in case your wife gets any crazy ideas you should keep this timeless warning in the forefront of your mind duck and cover i'm Jeffrey Lynch and that's today's spot of bother wow that was harsh i really loved that saying i better get home or the ducks will have something to eat yeah i may try using that one around the office yeah i'm sure it'll catch on it's interesting how these cultural factors apply and i don't mean in in Thai society necessarily isn't that if you don't report it it kind of encourages more people to do it more people to do it yeah an epidemic that's interesting in the 70s too you know things are crazy in the 70s even in Thailand anyway many thanks mr. Lynch yeah and i do want to try that recipe oh yes which you can find over at bothersomethings.com and also be wary of any woman who keeps ducks no that's another nice little saying we may have to keep in our back pocket so here fish is stuffed full of more hobby goodness fresh fish a new batch of cinematic pulp with the always listening three-day fish everyone's up to hand precious really runs the game tell them really runs the game tell the fishes golem you need to give me a minute okay i got to talk to the flash mob all right anyway hello flashcast three-day fish here with a review of the hobbit uh so i'm going to start out with uh quailing any fears people may have from the mixed reviews critics are giving it uh the whole like criticism of like the super high frame rate ruining the movie i think is or being distracting from the movie i think is a bit unfounded like it is a bit weird in the beginning when everything's like bright and colorful like this guy doesn't look quite right up against people's faces and there are a few scenes where like people's faces look more real than this than the world around them but i didn't feel like it ruin the movie at least for me um so i feel like that's not something that should deter you from the movie this is mysterious with us precious golem for real you need to need to chill man anyway uh and then the thing i was realizing as the movie went on was that this movie and probably the movies to come after it are uh they are prequels and they are very much peter jackson prequels in that peter jackson makes changes so that these are prequels to his movies as opposed to this movie being prequels to the books um which honestly i did not mind because the thing i liked about jackson's direction there are things i didn't like in the original trilogy but the things i did like was how he tried to develop the characters a bit more like i don't want to say the characters in the books are flat in any regard told or uh jackson tried to develop more of their history i feel in the trilogy and he definitely is going to do this in the habit you learn a lot or like he comes up with stuff to explain like thorns backstory and the backstory of the uh dwarven kingdom that smile took over which i think was very well done i would have to say it doesn't cover us process well golem they do that in the actual trilogy where you die once nothing sorry didn't say spoiler alert um so honestly like it is slow in the beginning i'll say that like if you are looking for non-stop action the movie takes about uh probably an hour to really pick up but it's an hour spent individualizing everyone so again it was something i didn't mind but i went into this with a mindset that this might be a little overdone and if if you're a fan if you're into fantasy this is probably just right however if you're not as into lord of the rings or fantasy then perhaps not perhaps this is something you might want to uh come in with a bit more open mind um and that's about it i given a career in life all right all right all right what looks like a golem smells like golem and talks like a golem but isn't a golem what they must give us three guesses three guesses all right three guesses reflection reflection no no not reflection reflections don't talk and a circus hmm yeah because anti-circus doesn't smell as bad as you string or nothing what no plus that was two guesses it's a smeagal always listening oh i loved the take a hollum boy so that was fantastic i wouldn't mind if the opening hour of the film took a little bit of time to really help clarify some of the characters because oh you may be able to hear the new puffy ludo running amok he's so good guys i'm just in love guys i'm so little girl i'm so little girl the hurly burly of the uh dwarves was always a problem for me and right when i was younger reading the book there's you want to feel like each of the dwarves has a personality and has something going on and most of them actually do to some extent but it's easy to get them confused yeah there are certainly there's certainly a lot of love going around on tumblr for those dwarves yeah well a lot people on tumblr love everything for different reasons yeah well uncomfortable reasons thanks fish always fantastic that was solid dude yeah nothing done yeah i liked your visitor it was fun to have a hobbit audiobook recap and then this follow up on it yeah and moving along from one fantasy realm to another i believe we have a tale coming up from the captain i hope i get the wording on this right it's the salakian damsel adventure if you love a good tale and the splash of the salty brine on your face then prepare yourself for the adventurous expulsions of Captain Ignatius pick up gah me beloved ship had more holes in her than a marsades core alas she was sinking her beautiful length up tipping in the water and a constant fire from the dutch vessels under the command of captain Hendrick stroking the attractors through a mighty storm and on finding our sails in a tatty state took pleasure in hole in her i bade me lads take what lifecraft we'd left intact for as a good captain i'd be going down with my ship well i had gotten the peg leg trapped when one of the cannons made a break for the ocean it was not till the water came over me head that the ship as it sailed down to the sea bed began to loosen her inwards and the cannon tore off me peg leaving me free to drow it looked like i was about to see Davy Jones's locker firsthand to me shame i was not drowning gracefully with me lass remaining breaths i flailed at the doorway which steadfastly denied me exit and in what little bellowing you that you can do deep underwater ah and then it all went at mike dark and jelly mick fish was there chiding me for me carelessness i was roused by a curious nudging in me spine i twisted me back in a manner unnatural so surprise was i by the touchin i'd feared to find myself dead and cold in some dim lightless realm populated with grey faces and a tedious range of board games to play instead i was presented with a grinning face of a shark tickle wench these are the devilish cousins of me beloved mermaidies for they've the faces of the terrified oceanic predators with whom their forebears managed to mate without too much fatality it is no surprise then that i jerked back as far as we twisted back would let me till i was face and shoulder to the wall me legs spayed behind me at an awkward angle she was appealing a prospect as any lady with bladed skin and a grin that made a dolphin clear its blowhole could be so rough was her sparkling tail that it tore me britches to scraps and sanded down me peg leg gasperly i inquired as to whether i owed this oceanic vision of feminine identity in my life she replied in the incomprehensible growling tones of her kind for their speech is obstructed by the ranks of spiky dentition either way i felt i'd little option and in truth though her seduction was sharp i acquired no more injuries than in a minor sea battle in the bloody aftermath of our conjugation she kindly unscrewed me a braided peg leg and replaced it with the pincer of a massive crab what she dismembered in her court in ritual it was a good fit though our sea cave was a fine pad and i was grateful for me rescuing love scrapes it was in me heart to return to the surface and a more enduring air supply she kept me breathing by away a cuttlefish which she inflated at the surface and brought back to the cave for squeezing to is not the tastiest of lung gas and despite the pleasing frequency which our intimate courtin occurred i had to make me escape i explained me predicament to lady sharp gills as i'd named her and her eyes grew moist in sympathy perhaps in retrospect it was merely the sea in her eyes but at the time i took it for a pleasing sign she fetched me one more cuttlefish and showed me how to tie it about me face for a breathing bag and then she drew me outside of her cave into the middle of a circling ring of her kin she gave me a gentle push to which i responded by drawing closer to her rather than further she escalated it to a snap with her lady maw which did drive me on the shouticles swarmed above me and as i kicked off from the bottom they thrashed around me me heart was in me throat which i firmly hooked was the furthest from its proper place it might travel that day gingerly i swam for the surface it's glimmering blue and enticement that drew me on it was as i attained that gorgeous surface and me fingertips broke its magical meniscus that the sea shark women attacked their writhing pysine tail slapped the water and with their deadly dentures fared they saw it like a good captain's flesh i tore off me cuttlefish mask and beat one of the winches about the head with it until she took it from me and rented in two i thought me end was upon me for in hoping for home i'd scorned the salation maiden it was not me intent for i wish merely to live in a region that was sometimes dry in addition her course caresses are titillated at all pirate tickling glands and i had a desire to keep me memories of her for some time i aspired with me good eye a turtle seeking a swift exit from the apparent feed and frenzy which i'd kept at bay thus far with deft kicks from me crustaceas prosthetic and i hauled myself a stride it's mighty shell now tis a sad tail for me turtling pal who with me wait upon him the sharkly ladies quite arrowed it from below until i was left afloat i'm not but that homely helmet the turtle appeased the craze sea folk and i was left to drift drift along on the waves though i was held against me will i owe the shark to last me life for i'd drowned without her curious captivity i always remember her for she left me two gifts in part in one a giant tooth straight through me bicep from which i hangs me in bug when we're at sea and second the scaled burn on me thighs the throb with none wholly heat wherever the rain falls sideways ah she was no dark fish oh captain will you ever stop falling for the deadly ladies of the sea yes fantastic tail tempting yeah i want to bice up tooth for my coffee cup yeah yeah that's that was wicked awesome i believe we also have a franklin to gash coming up next week yes but we're saving it yes best to spread the captain around yes must savor it you can find all of nix brilliant uh writing over at captainpicker.com nice okay so what have we got up next jaymay we have a board game review from jigantor from about a board game i've actually played so that's weird hmm awesome get a flash cast and fellow mobsters die gantor here with a board game review this week i bring to you cards against humanity the party game for horrible people or at least for people with a versatile sense of humor uh do the nature of some of the humor and the vulgarity that crops up in this game uh they recommend an age limit of 17 and up also i can't really give an accurate time limit for how long this game takes to play mainly because it's a highly variable uh by the amount of players that uh the game accommodates you can play four to twenty one or more so it's easy to understand if you have a full room of twenty one people the game might run a bit longer than the suggested runtime uh however the game is a quick learn you have two decks a black one and a white one black cards provide the question while the white cards are used by the players to answer the question the funnier the better every player gets a turn as the cards are which means they read a black card collect all the answers unseen by all shuffles them then reveals them the cards are then chooses the one they like the best and that player is awarded a point usually the first to ten wins uh this game has a lot of charm and like i said a lot of uh cussing and vulgarity the answer cards or the white deck have a variety of random words and answer combinations that if used correctly can leave everyone at the table busting a gut or insulted or angry or crying well not really uh cards against humanity also encourages players to add answers by providing blank cards the game also suggests a few house rules the house rules for this game really make it interesting um i've only played with one so far and the house rule i played with was called rando cardrisian basically what happens with this one is uh say you have five players uh the cards are draws his card ask his question and then everyone gives their answer well rando gets to draw his answer off the top of the white deck and then they're all mixed in the all the answers are revealed and then the cards are chooses his answer well if he chooses rando's card he gets the point and if he beats everybody to ten everybody at the table suffers a humiliation of having been beat by nobody like i said it's a lot of fun um there are excellent house rules there are other excellent house rules i should say uh that the game offers like uh you could vote on uh the best answer like they all the players can vote as opposed to just the card star um the game provides them you can always come up with their own if you find something better if you want to cooperate uh drinking game or you know whatever you're up to at the time uh but they are not required for a fun time the straight up game is fun enough on its own um but if you're feeling dark humor and you're about to meet up with other like-minded people then a good time is awaiting you for this reason i feel i should rate this game a 3.5 blazing torches out of five only because of the nature of some of the comments may not beat everyone's tastes so that's my review of cards against humanity hope you guys have a happy holidays talk to you guys soon bye you know we never actually played it with the card star we just voted yeah that's interesting was that with the online instructions is that why that varied i don't know yeah everything yeah just not the way we played i guess seems like a very versatile game yeah there are so many different ways you can do it adding your own rules and whatever yeah we got our version free from the internet mm-hmm yeah if you shoot me the link i'll put it in the notes yeah absolutely you just go there print it on some card stock and get a pair of scissors out yeah and some patience mm-hmm yeah definitely patience there's a lot of cards yeah but oh man it's a great game those answers are so funny absolutely yes thanks a lot jagantor yeah we'll have to play it when you come over next mm-hmm you can find jagantor over on the twitter as jagantor king king of the jagantal yes you will be coming by fairly soon yeah we'll get a little flash cast action in while he's here yeah yeah we're actually moving the next mob movie night he'll be here on the 25th yeah yep um i think tibby's picking this movie oh yeah we need to get back yeah that's right because i think uh we all boy-cotted jrd the last time we said somebody else would pick i think we said in our future i think i already made a rule actually that the person who picked the movie picks the person who picks the next movie so i picked tibby because i thought she's she's maybe one of the ones who found this movie the funniest i've found so i hope that she'll pick something along the same vein and then ridiculous you'll also be able to blame her as badly as you're never blaming me and then she'll get to pick next should be fun but now i believe it's time for mailbag boy do we have a full bag today my sack is huge huge um we have a comment here from nutty oh yes this was on flash cast 75 nutty says debit cards debit cards in Canada are like they were in the USA way back when which was a bank card no visa or master card logo but it is accepted almost everywhere there are places that take debit cards but not credit oh yeah she was explaining for uh american mobsters in the mob hmm we also have places that'll take debit but not credit well no she's saying in Canada that is oh yeah okay ludo uh she also says in the USA to make that happen they had to team up with visa and master card the reason for this is that there are so many banks in the USA that it's a logistical nightmare i can believe that we don't have that many banks no we really don't yeah i mean we have enough but usually the smaller things are just like credit unions or whatever in regards to our funeral talk before she says touching a body at a funeral i had never heard of this but apparently tech has i remember being a scandalous thing when a friend of the family touched my grandfather's body she touched the hand and she had a hard time accepting that he had gone scandalous that's very interesting yeah tech is her Canadian husband just as a reminder so it's interesting that he was familiar with it and she wasn't maybe it's more of a french-canadian thing mmm but scandalous to have touched the grandfather's body interesting that's interesting because yeah i want i want some elaboration on that story sounds juicy hmm dead and juicy that's gross yes so she says she remembers wanting to touch her grandmother's hand but she was afraid that it would be hard and not soft like it was in life i can see that i remember that being the worst thing about dead hands touching dead people is it it's cold yeah yeah like immediately yeah yeah um she says my mother helped dress my brother's body but his funeral was Buddhist and everything was different than western funerals oh that's an interesting yeah i didn't know that about you nanny sorry but then nanny yeah that's rough sorry uh moving on into beer and liquor stores i've heard the story goes that yes please after that instead of prohibition can i turn the selling of alcohol over the government except in kebak yes yeah that's true yeah and it's still handled like that i suppose in a sense kebak definitely has different liquor laws than anywhere else so and a different uh legal drinking age as well so you're younger absolutely it's 18 yeah not yeah so to celebrate 18th birthdays in ontario you go across the border to to i dip in here yeah to a dip in her yep oh and in new york city the bars call last call at four a.m but they can't kick you out that's interesting so they just let you hang around well yeah they dry out i guess they turn off the heat up here in new bronze wick it's two a.m she says yeah up here in in ontario if you hang around the wrong mcdonald's at uh anytime they'll give you a thorough weeding i reminded in auto other certainly mcdonald's where they play terrible music we may have mentioned this before to drive people away the one on redo yeah they would constantly they would play music at an uncomfortably loud level and it wouldn't be enjoyable in any way but it was to attempt to push off the frankly the drug dealers the pot dealers who would hang around in front and uh she says but then you just get this loud noise where people can go you know it's a pot and no one would be able to hear you yeah maybe that was why i was there it was redo after all uh so she in closing says oh one one more thing i just want to say oh one one more thing uh look out for the men on wait am i rain this rain yes i am look out for the men in the miniskirt uniforms in season one of tng i never noticed it before but i keep seeing it it makes no sense unless they want show that either gender can wear either uniform i think this goes back to i think this goes back to what they were trying to do with tashy yar which was they were attempting to be a more open masculine changing the gender roles but yeah trying to use the gender roles a little trying to be a little more open about you know not free love necessarily but trying to make this ideal super feature where yeah and roles are different yeah and it included dudes wearing skirts went up yeah what else um so went on the enterprise yeah right do is the enterprise you do although interestingly they tighten that sort of thing up it seems like later on in the series yeah that's true maybe it wasn't uh wasn't get good reviews uh we have some mail here from chris as well he says hi all i started listening about a month ago well thank you very much awesome awesome and newbie when i heard about your podcast from some other pacho cool awesome sorry he doesn't he doesn't remember which one how dare you now we can't be friends i'm sure it was fantastic yes yes if they were talking about us must bet um he says i'm surprised you've been putting out material for so long without getting pimped by other pod shows that i listen to you what's up with that what's up with that you should you should write a strongly worded letter to those other pod shows and that's them right um well we try to reach out but the truth is i the podcast ocean is large it is and you can throw rocks without hitting people for quite a while that's true yes yeah we just you know plug it away yeah we're doing our best but spreading the word is always appreciated i'm really excited about this next uh next bit he has to say he says it's great that all your back episodes are available on iTunes i'm closing in on episode two hundreds oh i'm sorry how do you actually mean you're closing in on episode 200 or do you thank you you're closing are you going to now be coming back with another email wondering where 200 what the heck what's up with that oh i'm pretty excited about that i want to hear what he has to say yeah oh yes please keep in touch please keep in touch tell us if you're disappointment of not finding 200 where it should be um wig jiggle we're like he's gonna have such a high time yes um okay so he says it hasn't made much sense to comment so far since i'm still listening to things you produced over a year ago so mostly i'm just saying hi and great job so far so it's like we've got another time traveler thanks yes yeah yeah well feel free to keep writing in but yeah and pee on pee on episode yeah um i did notice that the flash cast episodes can get kind of long at times also uh when they are encoded at 256 k b p s there are monsters to try to cram onto my iphone i had to reencode them at a lower bit right it's a smally but perhaps if you lowered the bitrate on your end you'd cut down on your server bill's bit hmm good point yeah thanks for the great stuff so far we'll certainly see what we can do about especially for the flash casts hmm anyway i'm just thinking of all of the other things that are not at that bitrate and then sort of trying to put all those tracks together that aren't anyways it'll be fine it would it would take a minute but i could look into that for you new list in our quiz okay and ironically enough we also have a letter from the captain yes the captain sent in some mail along with his story so the captain sells oh yes do it in the part of and mary new year's tea flash pulp crew garr it's been a while me fervent and heartfelt apologies from the whole where me blackheart used to be hmm tis now used mainly for keeping of a little owl ah that's very stoked like a hollow tree he fears the waves you see and craves the warmth of me chest tis now i'm kind of so warm it's warm because the owl any who me time has been occupied in the gathering of bounty over the festive period chiefly books and lego yes of which i am excessively proud i've seen some of his booty on the intertubes bounty booty yeah i i never think booty no oh yeah i see what you mean yeah i saw his booty on the face but yeah it looks uh it looked i looked upon it with me i guess tis eludes to shame the average dean christmas also provided a few moments of peace drifting on the waves in oral enjoyment oral with an a oh okay thank you um no twist not a salacious squid ticklin at me earlobes are you sure but rather the magnificence of flash pulp fondling me meninges me meninges oh boy a very brief commentary on the fine tales harm Carter as always a welcome fellow we could use his increasing paranoia on board the grim bastard of late we've been too kind with stowaways if i'm not certain i'm not certain if it was me ears or was harm's voice more strongly and unseated in this series i don't know maybe yeah no i think maybe i like to listen to a little carry grant to get myself in the mood yeah we've discussed your process before i believe yes twist splendid and gave me a few chuckles with its strength yee doc asriel guesta sewed was a marvel also warmed the absent cockles of me art that followed by a carwick christmas wondrous i'd load the spindly leg bastard arachnids and stay long at sea to avoid them more coffin i he's always welcome in me ear cabin anyhow that's enough meandering for you folks i have a ship to maroon farewell me sweet meets thank you sir deeply appreciated yes thanks for the pirate voice about our i hope uh all aboard the grim bastard had a wonderful christmas yes and if you'd like to keep all of those fellows on the ship please do not invite harm carter yeah fair enough yeah he won't stop at the store is speaking of marvelous tales actually i believe we have a another bit of mail from dylan iran including possibly a christmas tale a true christmas tale oh boy hello flashpalk crew this is dylan iran with a couple of comments on flashcast 75 and a bit of a story for you so the wife and i are currently on season three of our next generation walkthrough and we're planning on doing ds9 next one thing that i'm gonna say to watch out for as far as weird little tidbits in season one is to watch out for the enterprise crew member um that appears in the female dress uniform of the original series and he pops up from time to time in season one he's always in the background it's just for a second but you'll see him the second is that the us liquor laws actually vary by state and then they're also overseen by county governments in ohio near where my family's farm is there's a lot of actually dry counties where you can't buy alcohol at all and that's just cluster fuck but anyway the as far as ours where you can actually buy liquor like when bars close hours very quite a bit just from bar to bar as and also from city to city county county and state to state i was actually a bartender in chicago during the time of the story that i'm going to tell you the opening and closing times of the bars in that city had more a lot more to do with when the bars were actually established than anything else because the old bars were kind of grandfathered in whenever they would pass new liquor laws but that's a story for a different time but i i want to tell you about this time when i celebrated easter in guatamala so a few years back this was in the spring of two thousand seven i went uh with my girlfriend and her mother guatamala to visit her family is my my first visit to central america so we spent a little over two weeks in guatamala and it was a really wonderful time but i want to tell you about the experience of the holy week and then easter in this really strong environment of colonial Catholicism so my girlfriend's ant lived in guatamala city which is where we flew into and it's also the capital city kind of in the middle of the country and we spent the first few days there and it was a great time i had a really great time visiting with the relatives and just getting to know the family kind of becoming a part of the family but when palm sunday rolled around the ant who we were staying with said that we were going to go see the procession you know nobody really said what it was they said oh it's this easter procession then we're going to go check out it's going to be a big parade and there's going to be flowers and that everyone is going to be there and even notably my spanish is not fantastic so i may have lost a little bit in translation but anyway we went out to a spot on the parade route right as the sun was going down that's when you know the the foreignness i guess of this whole situation really got to me we got there and there was what looked like carpets laid down on the street but it turned out that no those were actually mosaics made out of flour and small pieces of fruit and sawdust and they were just the beautiful designs and most of them were centered around like this deep purple color but there were then there was like reds and yellows from different flowers that were kind of woven into the design and i was really blown away that this much preparation would just be put into the streets i thought it was just a simple parade so the sun had pretty much gone down at this point and there were only a few street lights in our kind of area of the city but as i watched there was a cloud of smoke that just started rolling across the streets and this was pure cedar incense smoke it was so thick that when it was at its thickest we couldn't even see all the way across the street you could see the people coming through this smoke and they were they were wearing these long purple robes and they had these sensors just filled with incense but the sensors were like the size of my head and they were just really swinging these suckers around just generating all this smoke you could almost hear them as much as you could see them walk by and then i heard trumpet music in this minor key just being blasted through what sounded like these crackling loudspeakers and i saw a glow from coming around the corner then this glow cleared the corner and i was really blown away by what i saw these were these floats they're called Andas and the first one i saw this one was about 60 feet long and it was being carried by about a hundred men and it was an oversized scene of Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey and Jesus was like 10 feet tall to give you a size of the scale of this thing and it was made of like solid wood and just covered in this beautiful gilt work but it wasn't just Jesus on a donkey it was the whole scene there's multiple figures on this float and all of them huge all made of wood is i don't even want to think about how heavy this thing must have been anyway the carriers were moving along in lockstep as they kind of sang these hymns and this blaring trumpet music was coming from a set of speakers that were actually on the float and the carriers were walking along and they were just they were continually rotating out because this thing was just so heavy that they couldn't carry it not very long because it was a really fast turnover rate of these carriers anyway the whole float was also surrounded by women carrying these palm fronds and they were singing hymns and as this float was approaching us there was another one that came around the corner and this one was just as long and it was a scene of Mary in a garden and Mary once again was also about 10 feet tall and worked heavily in gilt and she was robed in this beautiful thick blue cloth it was worked with gold embroidery and her float was carried by about 100 women that were all singing hymns and this whole procession everyone was dressed in these long purple robes and everything was kind of surrounded by all these women carrying these palm fronds and then there was even more of these robed figures and with the sensors swinging them around the whole thing took about 30 minutes to pass one block and I later asked one of the ants what this was and she said that these processions would last up to 17 hours they would start at the outskirts of Guatemala City move through the streets all day and finally arrive at the cathedral in the center of the city of midnight and after seeing this I was really impressed and you know I just thought it was this really cool experience but anyway we spent the next few days kind of hanging out in the rainforest and exploring Mayan ruins and you know that's a story for another time but on good Friday we ended up in Antigua which is the old city in Guatemala Antigua is actually built right beside this permanently smoking volcano and is a third it was the third colonial capital of Guatemala under Spanish rule it's got this really beautifully preserved architecture and it's just it's oh it's just such a picturesque city and it's so beautiful anyway we spent the whole day looking at the beautiful old architecture of the city and hanging out in a friend's house and then at night we went to go watch this procession again and this was in Antigua and we managed to get a really awesome position right on the Puebla of the old city with the like the center square of the old city at the corner of the cathedral in Antigua which is this beautiful old colonial style cathedral this time you know there was there was the carpets but I was kind of prepared for that and I was prepared for the chanting the smoke and the hazy floating lights and these guys in the long robes but what I was not prepared for was there was a whole company of Roman legionnaires that led the ceremony and you know complete with the helmets the shields and the spears and the floats were even more ornate there was even more gold work on these floats and this time this 10-foot tall Jesus was enclosed in this coffin of glass and gold like think uh snow whites coffin from a fairy tale this is what this looked like and the mary followed she was just completely draped in black with this golden embroidery woven into the black cloth that was covering her from her and she she was in this case she was version of the sacred heart which has this heart in the middle of the chest but it was like sticking out and it was made of solid gold and this whole starburst around the heart the floats rounded the corner towards the cathedral and these right as they rounded the corner these huge spotlights just fired up on the cathedral and they shown on these three giant empty crosses and the floats were carried into the cathedral and the crowd dispersed a lot of them went into the cathedral to pray and you know that was the end of the procession for that day two days later we were back in the capital back in Guatemala city on Easter Sunday we went to the metropolitan cathedral right in the center of the city and it's right across from like the capital building it's this beautiful old-style Spanish cathedral just amazing to look at you know had these these massive wooden doors and this beautiful stained glass and the domes we went inside and there was all these like beautiful paintings all over the inside so we got to the church early six in the morning by the time we got to this cathedral and when we went inside we lit these little candles and then we stood in the at the sides because there was no seats it was completely packed we sat in this cathedral and the altar boys came in swinging their sensors and filling the place up with smoke and it got all hazy and which was you know pretty normal to me at this point and then all of a sudden it started to get loud and it was hard to see through the haze but i picked out these altar boys were running up the center aisle with these metal bowls that they filled with firecrackers they would set them down light them and then run away so there was just all these firecrackers going off right in the middle of the church and it smelled like gunpowder and got even more smoky there's all this noise and then all of a sudden the huge doors on the back of the cathedral started to boom like they were getting hit with a battering ram or something and the whole congregation just stood up and they started singing and then these doors were just flung open and then here comes in another completely different you know 60 foot long float of Jesus that comes in and it fills up like the entire nave or like center aisle of this massive old cathedral and there's trumpets playing and there's drums and the float that the carriers were carrying it was they were once again they were just moving in lockstep but it wasn't just a walk you know they were like jumping and swaying all in unison and it was making like it made it look like the Jesus through his standing on this float was like dancing around in celebration it was really beautiful the float moved up through the church and there's these firecrackers going off and there's trumpets playing and there's drums playing and everybody's singing and it moved up to the transept which is the area of a cathedral if you think of a cathedral in or all in the shape of cross the transept is kind of where all the arms come together and it kind of widens out they got to there and then the float slowly started turning around and you know everybody was dancing and looked like the Jesus was dancing and then was carefully set in front of these altars in the front of the church which were just loaded with fruit flowers and offerings of incense it was just a huge celebration these these procession of worshipers was like going up to it crossing themselves like kissing the float and it was just this really really beautiful thing and that was actually one of the last Easter that I celebrated you know anything I ever did after that it kind of paled in comparison now I don't know if this would be ranked as a religious experience but it was a really good cultural experience you know and I mean that I had a really good time on that trip to Guatemala and there's a lot of other things I did but you know that that's we'll talk about that some other time anyway this is Dylan O'Raine signing off this man has done everything that you can do as a human being yeah no kidding when I was bartending in Chicago I almost expected I don't know why but just the way he led in it was almost waiting I was almost waiting for this was during prohibition so you know things were on the down though but anyway he's lived forever fantastic tale yeah interesting that he brought up the skirt thing as well yeah yeah yeah it's generous we will keep our eyes out regarding the Antigua portion at least I'm not surprised people living so close to a still smoking volcano might find religion I could see why they might be encouraged yeah I'm getting sounds beautiful sounds amazing yeah why don't we travel more Jared because all of the children eat the money they literally eat all over money later the empire the empire the empire the empire thank you sir I always appreciate it I look forward to hearing the more tales of other things that you've done yeah absolutely yeah yeah we should do something sometime we should have like a contest for people to like write in and be like something doing Orion hasn't done yeah see man the empire has to be big enough where we can buy an RV and then we can come and like visit all everyone now RV is not going to get us to go out of all of it maybe we can hit up Chicago I don't know um where he used to bartend so that wouldn't help us at all but yeah although speaking of stories now might be a good time for back room plots so we went through a well quite a few stories but I'll just touch on a couple Joe Monk and per space yeah through to peace yes he was very friendly with others very you know the right places always fun to do a you know slightly body tail I liked how at the end it was like and this was known to be his first accomplishment really and on the other end of the scale we just finished coffin returns we did the episode actually went out yesterday so I feel like it was you know it was a solid three-parter yeah it was kind of too bad at the end yeah I know it was sad that was really the problem there was at the end it opened with a sad left on the dorset story and then hopefully closed with a nice solid right jab to the sweetness yeah to the depression box yep punches to the emotional buffalo all around yeah well listen I need to hate all ends of I need to use all parts of the buffalo like I said so whenever we're hanging it with bunny we're always talking about when she says god damn do you bleed the do you bleep the god or the dam and I'm always saying the dam but he's always saying the god so every once in a while I use a bc television rules ignore him and put in what I want because I think that's kind of a riddick okay that's chronicles of riddick ladies and gents what do you guys think have an opinion starting now I don't care at abs oh do you say what abc see and we see a bc is that's america it's america it's america man and I don't mind you america but I am not one of you so I don't care what your rules say about me because I barely care what our rules say to me so I certainly won't be listening to yours are you a dassy oh oh guys i got a puppy he's so pretty he's so good he's host trained even though he's teeny tiny and a baby and he snores me he was smart he gets wet all over the place like with his mouth after he drinks just like dribble jabbles everywhere how's the reworking of the openings going oh look at my balls dude um the art oh never race it i actually have two things to talk about firstly uh i think it was something prompted on the facebook mob no by ami no wasn't ami no okay maybe it was i'm totally disjoking yeah you had me totally confused sorry um yes something ami had posted it was like a creative forward idea um she had posted her status for 2013 first five people who were posting on her status would get something nice from her sometime she would have next year yeah yeah have a year to accomplish it and then if you were to apply your name to it then you would have to also do the pay for a challenge exactly so of course not being able to resist ami i had to post of course so now i have something on my wall the first five people who decided to go comment i think i already have three comments so i was hoping next year yeah i've got uh the tt and gigantor and uh cunicorn oh yes yes they've they've all posted something so they will all be getting nice little gifts for me at some point this year yeah we've been discussing them actually yes yes i have started thinking of it already so that's a nice little thing that you guys could do to share share love with each other you want to follow the example as everyone should from ami and uh now that i've wrapped that up i think i need to talk about the cock mafia oh i'm uncomfortable with this acronym we've come up with yes you're not the only one actually um the cold carol wick mafia the mafia game yes it will be starting this monday at six o'clock eastern time actually it'll be starting the day this episode is released all right well great six o'clock eastern time monday come along and spectate enjoy the paranoia as it builds yes and uh we're presenting it as a bit of a i think we can announce at this point that we're putting it forward as a bit of a black hole story yeah yeah the prologue's already up on the ning mob if you want to go check that out there's a thread dedicated to the story or at least a story taking place in black holes arrows yeah the prologue's up if you want to check it out you can read that and that's sort of the first thing that happens and everything that will follow them after that i still have yet to hand out the roles but they're going out as people send in their uh confirmations absolutely we have a brand new best today but that yeah we even have a nice little doom clock camp down so that you'll know when the days change over it's a nice link to that over in the ning mob as well so good luck to everybody maybe else maybe ever in your favor absolutely all right and uh i think that just about rounds up the show today so uh if you want to follow us on skitterco twitter um our twitter handle well jr.d's twitter handle is jr.d's skinner and then we have the jessica mayi that's true and me a popin axe only with a zero because i'm special and a mighty thanks to jim for hosting the wiki flashpulp.com thank you jim and flashpulp.com so awesome thank you very much if you enjoy the show please tell a friend and if you really enjoy the show well we've got a donate button on the site huge thanks again actually to everyone who's just giving us their generous donate there have been a few of you who've been incredibly especially over this holiday season yes we're very great to us keeping the lights on absolutely thank you if you have any comments questions or suggestions you can find us at flashpulp.com or you can email us text or mp3 comments to comments@flashpulp.com the entire run of flashpulp can be found at flashpulp.com or via the search bar in itunes flashcasses released in the canadian create commons attribution non-commercial 2.5 license. 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